Euthanasia, Loss, and Grief of a Companion Cat

[@KDrop84]

My mom yelled at me cause I kept calling her after I lost my 17 year old cat. Told me it was just a cat. It crushed my soul . Like I wasn’t allowed to grieve. Please don’t ever allow anyone tell you your feelings aren’t valid. It made my grief worse. I loved my Tiger Lilly so much. She traveled with me and she loved everyone. She was my family. You have the right to grieve and I pray for everyone’s healing. ❤

[@AuntCathyPooh]

I'm so sorry you didn't get the support you needed when you needed it the most 😔💔 Sending you fierce but gentle hugs from this internet stranger 💜💜

[@pri.sci.lla.]

I am so sorry you had to go through that especially at such a tough time 💔 Tiger Lilly is always with you 🐾 🌈

[@lolcatz88]

I’m so sorry your mum doesn’t understand your pain! They are never “Just a cat”, they are family, our fur children. Yes we can get another after they pass, but that doesn’t lessen the grief we feel, or replace what we loved. Every cat has their own unique personality and soul, just like humans and all animals. I would never yell at my child for grieving over something she loved so dearly. Shame on your mum! RIP Tiger Lilly. Your mum will love you always! 🧡🤎🤍🩶🖤

[@wyndhamyip1629]

I’m so sorry about your 17-year-old cat Daughter so heartbreaking to hear remove your mum from your life not nice Grief pain is unlimited beyond sorry for your loss of your cat daughter Tiger Lilly loves you so much I think about and miss my cat daughter Licorice grief pain 5.0 😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔

[@egirl622]

I'm sorry you mom did that to you. You have my deepest condolences, if that's any consolation.

[@alanefideler7234]

Nora McInerny said on her podcast "We celebrate and insist on living a good life, and no one talks about how wonderful it is to have a good death." I've worked in surgery for over ten years, and I can't stress enough how brave and how noble it is to give someone (pets included) a peaceful, calm, loving death. Edit: For anyone who is interested, the podcast is called "Terrible, Thanks for Asking". It's the antithesis of toxic positivity; people needing validation for their pain and suffering will find it there.

[@feliskathryn]

This is very helpful thank you ❤

[@mycreativeheart4159]

Thank you for your compassion and kind words.❤❤❤

[@jennamanning3011]

Thank you for this❤️

[@rebeccacamacho-sobczak4282]

Thank you.

[@WhoAmI2YouNow]

As a patient, I really want this to happen..

[@jessmendoza510]

(-Update-Having to let go of my 16 years old cat sucked just as bad if not worse . It’s been a month and I’m still in denial, I can’t and refuse to accept that he’s gone. Accepting it would make that horrible empty feeling come rushing back, I just don’t want to feel it. I don’t even remember what life was like before him 😞) Deciding to euthanize my two year old cat with pancreatic cancer was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It was the one and only time ever, that I felt like I couldn’t handle life. I’ll never forget that feeling of complete despair. I am so very sorry for your loss of Eloise 💔

[@anastatiaholden216]

❤

[@cybercat29]

Please accept my deepest condolences on the passing of your dear sweet kitty 😭😿💔

[@andreitamh9853]

I've been there(just like u wrote...it was definitely the hardest decision ever)...I'm so sorry for your loss ❤

[@belindakorver8395]

Thank you for this video i lost some off my cats myself young and older. It is very important to grief yourself and the other cats. You both made a beautiful tribute to Eloise

[@Noorie79]

❤

[@cobu6290]

From that beautiful poem.... "Just think of her as living In the lives of those she touched. For nothing loved is ever lost, And she was loved so much." Goodbye Eloise ❤

[@starrfaithfull6934]

You gave Eloise her best life and passing. My brother, a surgeon, always said that our pets believe in us--that we will always make things right for them. They trust us, their parents. Your love and compassion for Eloise was your gift to your sweet child. Having your vet into the familiarity of home is the kindest thing we can do. Animals don't fear death; we fear losing our loved ones--our babies. Thank you for easing her home. 💙

[@nancyowens357]

Your description of “anticipatory grief” was the first time I’ve heard anyone say it out loud that way. I lost my 20 yr old “love of my life” kitty, Leo about 6 months ago. I remember vividly everything you described leading up to the euthanasia decision and the questioning of the timing on that choice. I really appreciate this conversation on quality of living and the gift we can give to alleviate suffering.

[@Juliaflo]

Twenty years. A long life.

[@Upper_echelon_exotics]

I'm sitting here with the love of my life kitty. Knowing that the end might not be that far away is tough. He's healthy as far as I can tell. He's only about 9 but there's no guarantee that I get him for 10-11 more years.

[@franketa76]

I am so sorry for your loss... anticipatory grief is so sad and frightening, especially after having booked the appointment for euthanasia, because you know that THIS is your last night with your pet, curled up in your arms or snoring peacefully next to you, your last breakfast with your beloved furbaby beside you, the last time hanging out together in your favorite spot, ... and you know there is nothing you can do about it. But you know that the decision you made for your pet comes from a place of deep love and respect and wanting their death to be as peaceful and calm as possible... And Leo, Eloise and all other pets that were given such a heatwrenching beautiful good bye just knew that they had an amazing day with treats, playing, endless pets and cuddles and then went to sleep, still feeling their loved ones around them.

[@joeomalley2835]

I've never heard of that term "anticipatory grief" but everything she says make so much sense when you are going through it. Sorry for the loss of your cat of 20 years. I had a similar experience with one of my mom's cats who was just going through so much at the end. By some miracle he had gotten better for about 6 months before he started declining again. He was a 20 year plus cat as well.

[@KauaiDee]

I didn’t realize this was the first time you lost a companion cat. You are able to articulate your grief and process so well. Sharing your pain and emotion on the internet is so brave. You gave Eloise an amazing life and such a dignified death. Much love to you and Andrew.

[@baekhyunee4320]

Eloise was so loved, and she knew that ❤

[@essencemylyfe]

❤❤❤❤

[@jondeare]

I loved Eloise...and all I got was a few clips on KZbin.

[@yogawithkassandra]

My sweet baby Cleo was diagnosed with that exact same oral cancer yesterday and I'm in anticipatory grief hell. She's 12 years old and I really thought I'd have so much longer with her, I've had her since she was a tiny kitten. I'm devastated. The vet thinks we might have a few weeks, it's so hard.

[@ginniekinz5401]

so sorry 😢

[@marshallborder9089]

It is hell I know going though this , prayers...

[@Peekaboo123-o9z]

I recently lost my baby too, not from this same cancer but it was probably the worst things I’ve gone through, it’s gonna be tough but I hope you eventually come to peace with this and that you’re gonna be ok🩷

[@marshallborder9089]

🥲 So Sorry I'm in the grief process too.

[@katiedame6489]

Anticipatory grief is absolute hell. Sending love and hugs and strength for what will have to be done.

[@deesnider6304]

Losing my cats breaks me to a point that I have never experienced with losing people in my life. Not many would understand but I know that you would. so thank you. 💔

[@bodean2222]

Yes I am experiencing this loss right now of my beloved J.J. The pain is unlike anything I have ever experienced, and I am 60 years old. It has been unbearable. I have no more tears to cry.

[@PhoneEnthusiast]

I thought I was ready to watch this, but I was sobbing by the end. Thank you for sharing this, truly. It's rare that a video can bring me to tears, but your story brought back unprocessed feelings of grief for cats I've lost that I didn't know I still carried years later, and helped me process them just a little more. Grief is grief, for any species, and we don't talk about it enough. It's comforting to hear another person talk about it in such a real and vulnerable way.

[@sl3772]

Same

[@jscho8674]

So beautifully said.

[@slametdinatadinata645]

I cannot cry

[@Counterbalance_]

I've read about a family who had lost their beloved cat, and they had hard time overcoming their grief, so they started going to a psychologist. She convinced them that if they wanted to get over it, they had to throw away everything that reminded them of the cat: the things he regularly used, as well as pictures, etc. I don't remember whether they did it or not, but I was so furious! That advice told me all I needed to know what she thought about the family and how she viewed pets. WTH? Would you discard everything that reminds you of your kid, sibling, grandparent or friend if they pass away? When I lost my cat that lived with me for 22 years, I thought I'd die with him. I have pictures of him on the wall and I'm so grateful for the love he'd given me.

[@slametdinatadinata645]

@@Counterbalance_ ok ok...

[@heyitsbinx5452]

“It’s better to be a day too early than a day too late”. The kindest, most loving thing we can do is letting them go with dignity 💕

[@kittiegroove]

I lost my 10 year old cat this morning after a brief fight with kidney failure. I am absolutely devastated. I chose to euthanize rather than proceed with surgery when her body was telling us it had had enough. Big grief for big love is such a beautiful way to put it, and as I’m sitting in a puddle of my own grief over the next few weeks I am going to try to remember this. Thank you.

[@lbarbados38]

I'm so sorry, it's SO hard. I wish you peace.

[@minarose3193]

I have my eldest senior feline he is 20 years old! I use all standard process supplements to support each organ along with immune boosters CBD and a natural species approach diet so no kibble. If you feed can make sure it’s non toxic lining and grain free. My future rescues I’m going to Start with natural care and I also netted my yard with catnets so I don’t have to vaccinate. I think this also contributed to him living past 20! No vaccines no pesticides

[@HHAKitty]

sorry you dealt with that.Hope you feel better!❤‍🩹

[@skepticalmom2948]

I am old, I have lost many pet friends over the years, it never gets easier. They let you know when they are done with the pain, the refusal of food is it. I hope you heal soon, love yourself, allow yourself the time. Til you meet again in a different plane of existence. ❤

[@lonnarheaj]

At 64, I have had to say goodbye to many of our fur babies. You are absolutely correct: it never gets any easier to make that hard decision and say goodbye. I currently have two beloved, very senior feline ladies in the end stage of life. I know what's coming. 21 years just isn't enough time with someone you love.

[@eg-draw]

My cat stopped eating and we fed her forcefully for a month (kept wet food right in front of her little muzzle until she starts licking). Vet gave us special stimulating medicine and she started eating by her self! But after the diagnostic surgery she said “what's enough" and stop swallowing the food. Vets couldn't feed her and said we have to put special tube in her stomach. But I saw her eyes. Cancer was everywhere, her lungs weren't only one hosts anymore. My girl didn't deserve to suffer. We let her go.

[@user-rj1vj5wk9f]

Thank you for this post. My Fluffy who I nicknamed secretly 'Never Miss a Meal', stopped eating properly towards the last 2 weeks of her bladder cancer journey and deep down that's when I knew she was ready to go. I didn't want to face it so I was overly hopeful when she would drink the warm water her chicken was cooked in. She loved chicken water when she was well and still lapped it up when ill. Occasionally she would eat a little cat food but seeing food left in her bowl after every meal was a clear sign that she wasn't going to make it for much longer. I wanted to be sure not to do it too soon but also as Jackson Galaxy advises, Not on their worst day. Fluffy was put to sleep on 19 Aug 24 and even the night before I was bargaining thinking maybe she didn't need to 'go', but I knew it would only lead to more unpleasant painful symptoms. She went through a lot from the day of the diagnosis at the end of May up until 19 Aug. I managed to get the bleeding under control with herbs like Turkey Tail, Olive Leaf, Spirulina and Dandelion Root crushed and mixed in water but then the cancer must have spread because her urine was flowing in directions making her tummy and back legs wet. That lead to nappies and frequent showers and gentle blow drying and I knew we couldn't keep that going, it wasn't fair to her. She took to the nappies quickly and stopped protesting in the shower, which wasn't like her at all. She wasn't eating enough and her fur looked lack lustre, every now and then her feisty personality shone through but she was going downhill so I had to let her go. I wasn't sure about the food part, I thought it would be temporary but you're right, once they stop eating, its a message to us.

[@elizam6091]

Even in death, my beloved senior cat , Mat never really left me. He will remain in my heart and soul forever and ever... Now Im bursting into tears..

[@kerriemeinert5847]

Euthanasia is such a brave, selfless decision. The book, The Other Family Doctor, is written by a veterinarian who speaks about euthanasia and her personal experience with it from both sides. Thank you, Hannah, for sharing your experience with Eloise. Your relationship with her was so beautiful!

[@AbagailGrayce]

I read this book as well! it really made me less scared to think about the end of my pets’ lives, just by reading what she and her patients have experienced, and feeling validated about how much our fur friends mean to us.

[@candimoomey1698]

I just lost both my 14 yr old Marie, and my 15 yr old Sam within a week and a half of each other. Loss is so hard, when those furbabies have been there through everything with you. My condolences, hon.

[@SecondEvilEx]

Sending you and your family my love. May you reunite with them someday

[@anastatiaholden216]

Lots of love to you. ❤

[@awoods1039]

I’m so very sorry for your loss.

[@attyddmorris9899]

Love to you. So sorry for your losses.

[@houstonka]

Two years ago i lost my cat of 17 years and my dog of 14 years only six days apart. Pain was unbearable, but it gets better with time. I still cry on some days and still miss them so much. Hugs to you my dear ❤‍🩹

[@NinjaKittyBonks]

Losing our furrballs is BRUTAL 😭They are our family and we love them, but I always remind myself of the following. The sadness I feel, is directly proportionate to the love we shared 😿

[@mookins45]

"We would not grieve, if we did not love." -Q. Elizabeth Christmas message

[@EleanorandLorelei]

I'm in the anticipatory phase... my 18 year old Blondie baby has had kidney disease for nearly 6 years.. She's a tough old lady, but has declining rapidly. I'm balling right now thinking about her. thanks for being so candid about your feelings and experience. RIP Eloise

[@samanthavdhoeven]

One of my cats, Daisy, had the same kind of cancer. It has already spread throughout her entire mouth. We went to the vet for just a check up and ended up leaving without her. No words can explain how much that hurt. I’m so sorry for your loss.

[@eileengabellini6935]

I am sorry for your loss.Saying good bye without preparation feels harder for me. Just loss my cat Brandy without preparation 2 Months ago. Some Days the grief still returns.

[@EastmanEditing]

​ @eileengabellini6935 I'm so sorry for both of your losses. I'm currently a new "mom" to a stray cat I adopted this summer. He has quite a few health issues so I knew going into it I would have to prepare for the worst, but he's been thoroughly enjoying his new life and so it's more than worth it. I have a vet appointment scheduled because he's been showing some potential symptoms of either an abscessed tooth or an oral tumor, though he's still eating and playing, but just a bit more tired than usual. Anyways, I'm curious if you don't mind me asking, was there any chance you could have taken your cat back home with you to spend a day or two more? Or were they that far gone (weren't eating, eliminating, etc...) when you took them in? I've heard a lot of stories saying they brought their pets in and left without them, and now I'm worried. Or was it more so that cancer/certain health issues can suddenly take a turn for the worse, so it's better to let them go if it's already too far along? This is in no way a judgmental question by the way. I want to make that very clear because nobody needs to be any harder on themselves for these heartbreaking decisions! It's more so that I can prepare myself if the time is sooner than I imagined. I do better knowing what I could possibly be going into...

[@domikm1767]

I so much understand you. My boxer girl, faithful companion in all life adventures, from kayaking to raising a child, had a strange shaking fit in the morning. In the afternoon I took her to the vet. I came back home with only a leash and a complete ruin in heart and mind. She had a brain tumor a size of a tennis ball, nobody ever suspected.

[@NatYourAverageNerd]

I understand your trauma here, friend. I took both my kitties into the vet's for their on-site groomer to give them their Spring/Summer haircuts, and I only came home with one several hours later. I've been in pain before and I've lost a family member tragically once during my life thus far, but nothing has broken my heart and shattered my entire spirit quite like losing my baby boy, Espresso Bean. He was three months away from his third birthday, his death was sudden and unexpected, and the only reason I'm able to hold myself together right now is because my older girl is surviving with me. I'm not suicidal, but I feel like if not for her, then I might not have the strength to keep moving forward with my life right now.

[@HHAKitty]

Sorry for all of that happening.Sending love and hugs ❤‍🩹

[@LauraSusanJohnson]

I lost my boy Ted in Nov 2021 to renal failure. I was his person and he loved me. He picked me. When you give an animal a wonderful life, you are their angel, you are their whole world. I'm glad you crossed paths with this lovely kitty. So sorry for this tremendous loss. 😢❤💐🐱

[@slametdinatadinata645]

What is renal failure?

[@REALcatmom]

@@slametdinatadinata645 kidney failure

[@ghoultiful]

Our 20-year-old cat passed because of a tumor on her spine. We were so worried that we wouldn't know when it was time but she let us know. She was just so done. Thank you for sharing this with us. I truly understand how hard it is

[@meggarstang6761]

I've never sobbed so hard as I did when I had to help my first two rescue cats cross the rainbow bridge. I think of them often, even all these years later. My profound grief didn't put me off adopting another cat. There are so many sweet fluffs in need of our love.❤

[@claudeclawsonne4510]

When I realised how special He was to me, I started anticipatng grief. So I had 14 years of grief and he's been gone ten years and I still cry when I think of him.

[@michaeldemasi8677]

Your cat looked very similar to mine that my wife and I recently lost but Snowy was a male. We had him and his sibling cat Squeaky for almost 18 years. He passed then she past recently exactly 6 months after. I still grieve over both of them. Life is very different without them. I pray that everyone that loses their pets find comfort in knowing that they loved us as much as we loved them. I also believe we may see them again when it’s our time. Love and blessings to all.

[@deidrelorenz8307]

I'm so sorry for your loss. That's so sad. Your encouraging words helps a lot. We put down our chocolate lab, annie this past tuesday. Time helps will help & remembering fond memories our pets. Blessings.🎉

[@michaeldemasi8677]

Thank you. I’m sorry for you loss as well. Our pets are family. We will always remember them and miss them. But at least we got to spend much time with them and give them the love they gave us and more. I miss them every day. But no more because I don’t want this feeling of loss for either them or me.. Blessings to you .. We’ll see them again.. God is more than good.

[@whitneyv5096]

Thank you so much for this video. I lost my cat unexpectedly from cancer in April. The more you share your experience, it helps other cat guardians like me feel seen. He wasn't "just a cat", but someone I felt and feel soul connected to. I have had people shocked I'm still gutted over it but it's just as valid as the loss of a beloved human.

[@nereidalopez9168]

Es muy difícil y las etapas de duelo son duras pero hablar de su vida es muy importante y que la persona que te escuche te comprenda, te abrace y te escuche cuantas veces sea necesario sin aconsejar solo abrazar y escuchar😢🫂 20:44

[@creatuitiveguru]

I hear you. I lost my dad in February of that year, and my mom in August of that year. I was fine. When I lost my first cat Sneakers in November of that year, I just crumpled. No one else seemed to get what I was feeling.

[@theflashgirl2057]

@@creatuitiveguru the last loss must ve been the last drop that broke you

[@sugarpie9492]

It's a gut puncher every single time for me. I've buried 3 amazing feline companions as an adult. But I always feel so lucky to have had them in my life and received their endless love. And then I get them cremated and then eventually bury their ashes under the rose bushes that they loved to sun themselves under so much in my backyard. ❤️

[@candimoomey1698]

I plan on doing this with some of my Sam's ashes.

[@birdy-vd8nv]

I’m so so sorry kittenlady. What you do is amazing and Eloise has been a big part of it so her loss is deeply felt. Thank you so much for sharing her with us and for telling all us with fur babies it’s okay to grieve in our way because so often it isn’t treated like a true loss when we share so much of our lives with them 🥺

[@slametdinatadinata645]

I dont cry at all

[@NatYourAverageNerd]

Personally, I think I have shared more of my life with my cats than I have any other human being in my life so far. They've seen me at my worst days. They've been with me during my best, too. They know all my silly little habits, my routines, my inclinations and shortcomings, etc. They know when I don't feel like cooking or when I feel like putting in more than five seconds of effort into my own meals. They always know when I'm done with the workday by me unplugging my computer station. I've lost one unexpectedly, but the one good thing I have right now is the other one, and she's helping me through this dark chapter of my life. I hope I can help her through it, too.

[@kateczerwenka6878]

Thank you so much for sharing this. After 21 years together, I had to say goodbye to my cat when he was diagnosed with cancer. He’s been gone two months now but I’m having such a hard time managing my grief; I often feel like I have to hide my despair since most people will say he was “just a cat”. Your story is very relatable to my experience and I found your words so comforting. Big grief for big love. ❤

[@keetahbrough]

don't hide away your grief. you animals wouldn't hide his or her grief, so don't cower to external pressure.

[@dominicperri1313]

My cat was my soulmate and I just lost her and it is the worst trauma I have ever gone through. She was my world.

[@sorapokeball]

In the last year I've lost three rescue cats, one of my German shepherds, and, one week ago, my mother. My heart goes out to you and everyone who's experienced loss recently.

[@kathyr1516]

💔😰🙏🏼🌻

[@truffywuffwuff]

Ah Gid love you😢

[@dianeoneal1069]

I’m so very sorry…Lost my 13 yo malamute valentine’s day this year and i have two cats the exact same age plus one month and one who is a year younger they are all just a bit strange since Whiskeys loss…hang in there

[@holocene2164]

I am so sorry for your loss. Sending you hugs 🫂

[@karacollins8036]

Hannah.. My soul kitty was diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma two weeks ago, and my gosh how this video resonates with me. I spent 4 hours weeding yesterday! Please know that sharing your story is so significant and meaningful to someone like me. Especially right now. I just want to say thank you for opening up and being so vulnerable. You are truly making a difference.

[@mandimartin5521]

Thank you so much for being there for Eloise and making these tough decisions on her behalf. I'm always shocked at the amount of pet parents who choose to not be present for their animals' last moments. It's gut wrenching to know the fear and confusion of those last moments searching for their people.

[@NatYourAverageNerd]

My baby boy's death was sudden, but at the same time, I knew I would never forgive myself if I wasn't there with him when they gave him that shot. I knew in my heart that it was the right thing to do because he was in such immense pain, but he was also in my arms with my other kitty, his best friend, right there with him as he slipped away. I didn't want to let him go, but he was ready and his body was shutting down, so he knew it was his time even if I couldn't accept it. I refused to leave him alone, and I'm glad I made that choice.

[@SupTimone9]

Did this take anybody else multiple attempts to watch all the way through? I can’t imagine the grief Hannah and Andrew are feeling right now because this was so hard for me and I’ve never even met Eloise. I’m so sorry for your loss ❤

[@kaitlynwithakay]

I intended to watch it a little at a time, but I started sobbing and couldn’t bring myself to press pause

[@halloire]

I've already got tears in my eyes 6 minutes in, and my youngest kitten (8 months) is just laid on my chest and it's so hard to think that eventually it is something I'll be dealing with.

[@milyeros5187]

I am too empathetic (still working on it through therapy and help), so I am crying like if it were my cat. Sounds silly for me...

[@tharangadhanu6767]

I'm watching right now crying so hardly.I cant help my self..Hannah is so brave..bless her and Rest in peace eloise ❤❤❤

[@TimothyCollins]

I lost my wonderful Mothra just two days ago. She was 18 years old and had been with me for 17 years. It hurts. I am so glad that about 3 weeks ago I had this one Last Good Day. She came up on that day and was on my lap all day. She made muffins on be and head butted me and kissed and I talked and petted her and joked "what did I do so right to deserve this?". And it was almost the next day the decline hit. It was slow at first - less walking around and such. But in this last week she'd gotten to the point where she couldn't stand up. Her eyes no longer reacted to light. She couldn't control her... functions anymore. I so wanted the vet to tell me there was a magic injection to make her better but I knew there wasn't. And on tuesday night in my bedroom floor me and the vet made the decision and I held her and petted her as she went to sleep. It was the right thing to do and I am so glad we had that one Last Good Day. And that is the lesson here... cat, dog, parent, whoever... never miss that Last Good Day. Always cherish every second you get with whoever you love.

[@n2bfw884]

I've recently lost a cat and I hope everyone else who's grieving is doing ok and will reach out to others. Goodbye my very special friend!

[@amaza888]

This video will help me one day. My soul cat is 8 yrs old and healthy. But of course, one day... My promise to him : I'll be with him to the end and we will avoid suffering. RIP Eloise, and sincere condoleances to you and Andrew. ❤

[@theylowkeyluvchloe]

I’m so sorry for your loss, Hannah. Losing a furry friend is the worst feeling in the world. I hope you’re doing well. Just know, you’re a wonderful person and no other cat could have a better owner. We all have your back if you ever have this happen again. Fly high, Eloise🕊️. Edit: I ended up sobbing

[@donnasiracusa4700]

It is not just a cat. They are our family. We had to put Rusty boy to sleep on May 13 because he started with breathing issues after being diagnosed with hypothyroidism and a stroke. He was 16 years old. I am sorry you had to go through this also.😢

[@littlemissshihtzu]

I'm so sorry that you had to say goodbye to Eloise! I had to euthanize my sick and elderly white cat who looked so much like Eloise when I was a college student and it was extremely difficult to say goodbye. This video will surely help many who are going through similar situations right now! Hugs to you! 💞

[@TinyxDancerx]

You hit the nail on the head with anticipatory grief. I’m about to go through this with my sweet old gal and when I first got the diagnosis I couldn’t eat for days, couldn’t sleep, and my collarbones were sore from crying. It’s like you come to a point of acceptance where you know it’s the right choice. So sorry for your loss. ❤

[@stillnooneahhahah]

Rest In Peace, Eloise 💜

[@des3753]

She passed beautifully from a earthly sunbeam into a sunbeam in another realm to wait for your energy to join hers again. You gave her the kind of passing any of us would by blessed to have, I hope you feel pride in how amazing her life was up until the final second. 💜💜

[@Positivekitten]

It never gets easier, I’ve said goodbye so many times and I know I will have to do it again one day… My kitty Arwen is around 18, in good health now, but I know that day will come.

[@SalaciousScorpio69]

I cried at 15:40 When you showed the plush cat and explained how you put recording box of Eloise's purrs inside of it that's so sweet! 😭

[@NatYourAverageNerd]

Same here, that wrecked me. I've been thinking about getting a plush of my departed boy using as many reference photos of him as I can, but I'm still not sure if that's right for me. I want to, and maybe I'll decide that it is, but right now, I'm still processing a lot of emotions over his loss.

[@caitlynreichert9584]

I lost my cat, Simba, 2 days ago after they found a mass in his brain 1 year ago almost to the day. He started showing signs of confusion and was scared and drooling. December of 2022 they gave him 4-5 months to live with it and we had him a whole extra 9 happy months and I'm so grateful for that time with him. Although we knew it would come eventually its still so difficult and the pain never goes away. We decided to put him to sleep because I didn't want him to suffer 💙

[@later_taters]

As someone who has lost a companion cat of nearly 20 years, who's family didn't decide to euthanise, but to wait until the very end, I thank you for this video. My family are very closed off in terms of expressing emotions, so grieving has been difficult. I wish we had euthanised our cat, witnessing pain and discomfort was heartbreaking. I would rather have fond memories of when they were healthy and happy rather than the ones i have. My kitty passed away in 2019, and it's still hard even now. Thank you for everything you do, Hannah.

[@daylehudson6810]

I'm so sorry your family made the cat go through all the pain and suffering before dyeing. So inhumane now days. They can give one shot to relax the cat then the next shot stops there heart. He can cremate them here also. You can scatter the ashes in an area she liked outside.

[@later_taters]

@daylehudson6810 my family decided without me that they would bury him in the back garden. It upset me that cremation or place of burial wasn't discussed as a family. I would have preferred a pet cemetery.

[@angeh9995]

Dear Hannah and Andrew, I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved Eloise. As someone who has had to make these hard decisions for most of the beloved cats in my life, thank you for sharing your journey so honestly and gracefully. After only losing our very dear 15 year old cat, Deano, last September with a very quick end of life decision after nursing him for many years through a medical condition this was very raw for me. Only two weeks ago we adopted two year old rescue sisters, whose previous owner had passed away several months ago. Whilst I’m delighted to have them in our lives I was surprised by a new wave of grief for Deano. I’ve just sat gently with it, and given myself permission to grieve the loss of those many years of knowing each quirk of each others personality. I’m allowing myself time to get to know my new girls, not forcing that closeness (impossible with most cats anyway) and learning what makes them who they are, and gradually, naturally letting that love grow between us. As I write this both my new girls are curled up asleep against my legs in bed, after we’ve spent the afternoon together in the sunshine. It’s also been beautiful to watch my teenage kids form new relationships with the girls, something very different from when they were tiny and we had new cats.

[@teenytries6290]

That was beautiful, I wish you many happy years with your new girls

[@kimdawcatgirl]

Sorry for your deep loss! I lost two cats from oral cancer. One came from a barn and one was a rescue kitten. Pieter was euthanized and Sharon went suddenly before she had signs of distress. Pieter was put down at diagnosis because of the tumors position. The trip back to the vet would have been potentially horrible and painful. Better sooner than later. It's such a peaceful way for them to go. Better when they aren't struggling. You did right! You are very compassionate!

[@dg12317]

I had to let go of my cat of 18 years last week. I described my body as “sad Jello”. She was very loving and comforting to me. Your video was very relatable and kind. I love hearing about the reality of the trauma of making that choice to cut your time with them short. I appreciate it. Much peace to you.

[@fireballflamingo8838]

Thank you for sharing. I just lost my baby to lymphoma and I have never known pain like this. I can’t stop replaying her last hour. I hope she wasn’t scared. I know she was in pain until the sedative. I held her head in my hands and kissed her a thousand times. I would give 5 years of my life to have 5 more good days with her. To anyone who has or will lose a pet, my heart is with you

[@michelletabares5336]

Thank you for this video, Hannah. My childhood dogs were euthanized before I had a chance to get to say goodbye to them 12 years ago. Seeing all of the love, grace and consideration you put into Eloise’s goodbye was very cathartic for me to watch. Thank you for being so honest and vulnerable. All the best to you, Andrew and the kitties. 💖

[@semantics85]

Hannah, you are an Angel among us. I'm so sorry you had to finish Eloise's story. The quote that got me through my loss of my 15 year old soul kitty, Mittens, was "the size of the love, is the size of the grief." Legends never die! What a beautiful story, your sweet, sensitive Eloise has.

[@jeffj2495]

Me...and half the world is crying with you. The other half of the world doesn't know about this vid. It is so hard losing our companion kittehs. I hope your sweet Eloise flies high and lands gently at the Bridge. Eloise had a wonderful home and she was loved by all.

[@cennsa140driver]

Cats are part of our family. We miss them dearly.

[@Yeaitsju]

I had to euthanize my cat two days ago now. She was 13. It was just five days after her birthday 😢. It was by far the hardest decision of my life for sure. I've never been so hurt in my life. I miss my baby ShayLynn sooooo so much she looks just like this 🐈 emoji. I'm just so broken. I’ve never cried so much before. Thank you for this video. For whoever is going through tough times please just stay strong. ShayLynn had an amazing life. From start to finish. She went so peacefully and she was so beautiful and I love that for her ♾️ShayLynn 🐈🪽

[@jonarse]

Sorry for your loss, I had to let my best friend Kobe (18.5 years) go back in Dec of 2021 and it was the worst day of my life, but the vet was great, they had a room well away from the main practice with a separate entrance where could go and just be alone with your companion at the end. I haven't cried that much in my entire life. I still to this day miss him, but he'd be happy that I've spent the last year socializing my semi-feral rescues into almost "normal" kitties. Still a work in progress, but they make me laugh every day with their weirdness.

[@Jen39x]

I had to think as I was telling my cat’s story that I’ve been in the same treatment room she was put to “sleep” in and never thought of it. That is the best evidence that I waited for the “right” time and was at peace with such a difficult decision

[@rebeccacamacho-sobczak4282]

You are an awesome human being!

[@GeorgiaGrown90]

The loss of a beloved pet is a pain I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I am so sorry for your loss. Fly high little Eloise, fly high.

[@meganlawton7061]

Jackson Galaxy recently used the word "disenfranchised" in describing our grief for our feline companions and I've often felt that way. So it's beautiful and validating when someone like yourself shares their grief and vulnerability. I cried with you and smiled when you said you recorded her purrs and toes and nose because I did the same thing leading up to the loss of my 20 year old love of my life. My sincerest condolences to you and your family and thank you for your sharing and all the work you do. (I used Lap Of Love and highly recommend.)

[@user-rj1vj5wk9f]

I had to have my beloved kitty euthanised last year. We had one last week of time together, quiet time, all his favourite food and treats. On the day I went to the vet with a heavy heart. He was suffering so I had no choice. I held him in my lap in a cosy blanket and stayed with him until I couldn't because I was scared of feeling him go cold. I have a lovely urn with his photo beside it. Life is not the same without him but I have 17 years of memories and I am very glad that he was in my life.

[@WonderwiceMargera]

I lost my sweet girl of 14 years old two months ago. She had a type of cancer and went from happy snuggly baby to barely able to move and breathe in three days. It was heartbreaking. She lifted her head one last time for me just before we had to let her go. I still miss her terribly but I know we made the best choice for her.

[@catladykat__8381]

Saying goodbye to my Alice it's been the hardest thing I've ever done. I miss her I feel broken it's been 9 months and I'm still in so much pain 💔 Eloise, we love you so much sweet sweet lady

[@Wendy-cj5yz]

I am sorry for your loss of Eloise. She was special and remains engraved on your heart. Coming to the time when it’s time to say goodbye is hard for all our special fur friends. I have had a few pass over the years and I have always been with them. Loved in life, in their passing and in death. Today is hard, tomorrow you will still be wanting them to be there, next week your heart will feel warm. It gets easier but they are never forgotten ❤❤

[@evolvingboard]

It's been 5 years since I lost my Fred and I still grieve him. When I first lost him I felt silly for grieving him so hard, I cried several times a day for months, but it wasn't silly they're part of our families even if they aren't human. I hope anyone grieving their pet won't feel alone like I did. ❤ I'm so sorry for your loss 💔

[@2009Ellesar]

I had to say goodbye to my 19 year old Emmy 33 days ago on May 16 and I still miss her everyday. I’m so glad that I have my photos and videos of her to help me. Making the decision for euthanasia was the hardest decision that we had to make but we don’t regret it since we could tell that she was going downhill quickly. Our process was the same even though we did ours in the vet office and I will forever cherish the pawprint and little satchel of fur that I received. I did not make it through this video without crying and want to thank you for sharing your and Eloise’s story.

[@carolynmcmaster7280]

For Mink, who lived for only two days but whose memory changes the world. For Badger, whose life is amazing and Leeni who loves him. For Fergie, who has lived longer than I would have thought possible and is still (to the best of my knowledge) going strong. Finally: for Eloise, because she was Eloise--and amazing. I can't physically do work for cats, because I'm severely disabled. But I can support your work on their behalf. Love and blessings to you always, Kitten Lady!

[@stephanieshifrin4285]

Eloise was loved... she knew this with every fiber of her sweet being ❤ Much love to you, Andrew and the rest of your family ❤

[@BtripleS]

I lost 3 cats in a 5 year time span. Two of these cats had FIP and declined so quickly that I barely had time to say goodbye. Eloise has been, and will continue to be loved by so many more people than you could possibly imagine. I am so sorry for your loss.❤️

[@Heavenlaid]

This was so hard for me to watch as I’m struggling with lifelong generalized anxiety disorder. I have 2 cats, Molly and Nelly, both born March 6th 2022. Your story, and the way you convey your feelings and your grief, is the most beautiful, and rare, video I have seen on KZbin. I have been hugging and kissing my little Nelly for the past 2 hours while crying so I am totally exhausted. Cats are so unique and they bring so much joy and love to my life, but I also know joy comes with pain. A lot of pain. Sadly my GAD causes me a lot of ”unnecessary” pain. What a beautiful video and thank you for sharing your experience so openly. What a sweetheart Eloise seemed to be, very beautiful. Cant stop crying… If I could I would give you a hug right now. Thank you.😢

[@emytayschaye752]

I had to euthanize my cat two weeks ago. I had so many regrets and questions about whether I did the right thing. this video seriously helped me understand that I did exactly the right thing. Sending my love into the "zero" so that he didn't get to the point of experiencing fear and agonizing pain was exactly what I needed to hear. I thank you for clarifying this so I don't feel like I did the wrong thing. My heart goes out to you. I love the Big grief for big love sentiment

[@Marilee444]

So sorry for your loss. 😢 I don’t even want to think about that day coming for us. It’s the cycle of life, but we often underestimate how much our kitties can change our lives

[@tristensolock7620]

My heart is breaking for you. It is a very hard decision to make. I know you would never want her to be in pain or discomfort. She knew she was loved and you gave her a very good life. I am so very sorry for your loss. May your precious little angel rest in peace.

[@dianeboynton2964]

I am 68 years old and I’ve put many pets to sleep dogs and cats. This is never an easy decision but for some reason if you can’t make the decision, they help you make it by a certain look like I’m done let me go I had one cat lived to 24 years old, who I adored and one day I just looked at her and she looked back at me and I knew, she had been having some problems with weight loss. She had a form of cancer in her intestines, but it was the look she gave me. I picked her up heated bed and all and that’s how we went to the doctor. It’s never easy our pets become our children. And we love them with all our hearts. I have had about 13 cats and six dogs and each if I could’ve traded places with I would’ve. May Elowise rest in peace, knowing how much you loved her.

[@conniesutton9656]

Thanks for sharing your journey with Eloise. She is so beautiful! This happened to me 2 months ago with my cat, Ms. Petal. She was my first cat and I miss her terribly. She was adopted at 11 and she was 18 when we said goodbye. I appreciate your openness and love of your kitty. My condolences to you both.

[@jennnnnnn13]

I'm so sorry for your loss Hannah & Andrew both 💔

[@JMJ4444-f2n]

A beautiful story of complete “Love” ❤ Thank you for sharing , it’s was so peaceful and serene sharing your journey of grief with the end stages of Eloise beautiful life! A beautiful story of complete unconditional love 💕 Thank you 🙏 ✝️❤️🌹💕🥰 Cats 🐈‍⬛ are a part of our souls … RIP sweet Eloise “Sunshine of Life”

[@luna-cb1ch]

i just lost my childhood companion cat to that same cancer earlier today. it was horrible, like watching her rot whole she was still acting fone and like her normal happy, hungry, stubborn self. i don't feel bad that we made the choice because we've really been on bortowrd time with her for years after a near death mystery illness a few years back. but i miss her so badly. i just keep holding the blanket we always took her to the vet with, the one they wrapped her in when she was gone so close. the grief ebbs and flows right now but its crushing. i just wish i could pet her one last time. i'll love you forever lola baby. i hope you weren't mad at us and know just how much we adored you. thank you for the 17 years and growing up with me. i love you so much.

[@dawnmarshall1290]

I'm trying to cope with my beloved cats passing. Who would have thought I could be destroyed by this devastating 12 yr. old beauty s departure. He had a growth as well, I'm his mouth. It took a month! Im crying as I write this.

[@mippa]

I don't know why I'm so surprised but I started crying so much while watching this video. It's been about two years since I said good-bye to my beloved Kyuchan -- not my first good-bye, but easily the hardest in my entire life. Thank you for sharing your experience - please know that there are so many who celebrate Eloise with you and also mourn the loss. I'm so happy you were brave for her. It never gets easy, even when you've experienced pre-grieving.

[@Tails1]

Watching this after just hitting the two year mark of putting our dog to sleep, has helped so much. I feel the grief still as if it were yesterday, and I always tell myself its been so long why am I still so upset. Or when we learned his brain was failing him and he could not walk any longer we had to put him to sleep, it all happened within two weeks. We made the decision the night before we took him to the vet for examination, we know our animals and we knew he was not himself, a dog who loved to run up hills could barely move to go to the bathroom without being carried. My mom and I told each other that if it was his brain we would not let him suffer. Even having 9 hours to process what was going to happen was a blessing in a way. We were correct in knowing his time was coming to and end, and the guilt I felt after relieving him of pain was hard. People who don't put down an animal are often harsh about it and say why did you not try to see how it would go. I know now that making him sleep on the couch for 6 months and be unable to walk was cruel which is what our vet said we could try to do if we wanted, but adviced it was going to be hard on him and ultimatley would be back at the vet even if it took a few more months. I am so sorry for your loss, I have had to say goodbye to my childhood cat, Emily and my dog Rudy and it never gets easier or the pain will never go away. But I hope knowing this video has helped me and others heal even after all this time makes it a little bit better, that her story still helps people. 💗

[@andreahultman8272]

This video is one of the most beautiful, gut-wrenching, heart-soothing, and gracious love-giving things anyone has produced about living with and loving animal family members. You are indeed a brave, gentle, amazing being, Hannah. May your memories of Eloise and the mementos you have of her continue to bring great comfort. 💗

[@ooohlaa13]

I couldn't have said it better andrea, I am honored and blessed to come across this video, and it expresses my experience perfectly. I love your words. The difficult part is that in this loss, we are stuck with this huge love with nowhere to place it because it is uniquely carved for and with and by this particular being. Of course you can love again and again and again, but that bond honed and fashioned by the two of you now has nowhere to go, its a lonely misfit left longing and the pain is ... well ... horrendous! We all at least can recognize it way beyond any words we can say, that are the tip of the iceberg.

[@JordyPordy10]

I put off watching this because I adopted an elderly cat 2 years ago and I know we don’t have many years left. I love her so much but I feel like this was so helpful even if I was sobbing the whole time.

[@inezolde8173]

Thank you for this video. I lost my 17 year old cat and best buddy two weeks ago. The grief you describe is exactly so deep. It was so hard to let him go but it was time for him. Thank you for sharing your story and telling to take time to grief.

[@Timelost_Techpriest]

I'm so sorry. I lost my long-term cat roommate about four years ago. It's always painful and sad, and feels so unfair that they live so much shorter lives than we do.

[@jenniferhof9448]

Thank you for the beautiful tribute to your Eloise. We lost two of our foster colony over the winter, and even though there were never going to be indoor cats, they meant just as much to us as any other family member. We got to spend about 10 years with one and almost 13 years with the other, and I will treasure the videos and pictures that I have of both of them. Many hugs and purrs go out to from our family. 😿😻

[@wcarson4634]

I can feel the grief. I had to lay my cat of 17 years away last January with a swiftly growing untreatable tumor. It gets better with time. But watching this video made me tear up like it was fresh because I know exactly what you’re going through. Every single stage I went through. I am so grateful for the time and preparation I made for her, and it really was perfect timing when she really started to decline. She just passed so peacefully and was not scared or concerned at all. She was at peace. It was absolutely the hardest decision to date that I’ve had to make, but I knew it was time.

[@myknack79]

You made the hardest decision a beautiful one. We understand your loss. Thank you for sharing your loss with us. She was a beautiful cat. She will always be within you 💞

[@courtjoans]

Thank you for sharing this. I lost my Annabel Lee only a few weeks before Eloise. The anticipatory grief was heart wrenching. I feel like my emotional journey was very similar to yours and that brings me some comfort. I felt like people didn't care as much about the loss of our cat as they did for our dog, which was sad in itself; they didnt understand the deep, bonding love of a cat 🩷 Eloise and Annabel forever 💞

[@Senerian]

I recently went though sort of same thing with one of my ferals. It is very hard, I treasure my last moments. You have lots of things to remember her. I notice that that when there is a passing like this people cope in different way and once I can talk about it with out getting emotional I like to talk to someone about my cat that passed. This particular one was on June 8th. I see the way u talk about all the things you have done in dealing with this is also a way of coping and trying to heal. In the end, you must know that you did your best and you made the best call for the health of the cat. And for me, I get comfort from the other cats in my group when this happens.

[@kaylaterry500]

I waited too long when I lost my senior 2.5 years ago and regret it every single day. You made the bravest, most humane decision and I hope that brings even an iota of comfort. She knew nothing but love❤

[@autumnrose7428]

😢😢😢I am so so sorry Hannah that you lost your best friend...I can't begin to imagine the pain you're going thru but please accept my condolences and know that you & Eloise are in my thoughts & prayers. R.I.P Beautiful Eloise❤

[@MicheleLHarvey]

The most helpful quote about euthanasia & when the time was right came from a vet, who said, "better a day too early, than a day too late." This helped me make the hardest decision any pet owner can face. I also was able to plan & have a vet make an at home euthanasia visit. She was so kind & gentle with my boy. She checked him first, to double check it was time. I was able to hold him in his favorite, familiar place, surrounded by love & comfort. I was able to say goodbye as she gave him his first injection, then peacefully pass with the 2nd. I was beside myself with grief, but knew I couldn't have given my beloved boy a better passage. I miss him to this day...

[@margaretmcallister5422]

I lost a beloved cat in June. I still cry for her often, but I know deep down I could not have improved her life - only prolong the painful situation and possibly increase her suffering. As with all lost loved ones, I remind myself of this truth. If they gave me no moment of grief in life - only joy - then they would not wish grief upon me now. So I cry and I smile and I remember the good times with my sweet little lady. And another cat somewhere needs the love I have to give.

[@Fluttershiez]

It’s so surreal to know that they aren’t there anymore when you’re used to seeing them. That’s the hardest part I think. They’ve been in your life your so long and now they aren’t there. So sorry for your loss. This video will be very helpful.

[@GTaichou]

My hardest (planned) goodbye was a companion cat who, when it was time to let her go, knew I was stressed and was trying to comfort *me*. It makes the memory of that moment so hard, but she struggled with everything she loved and I knew. It was also an aggressive mouth cancer, like Eloise. Sending you all the love, and I'm so glad you have so much support and the tools to help you grieve your companion. ♥ The memorial site is gorgeous. It also helps to grow comfortable with the loss, and allows the animals to experience that gradual dissipation of their companion's scent as well, since they can feel trauma from loss as well. Please, I hope you feel no embarrassment about keeping it. It is a wonderful, wonderful solution.

[@katfox678]

I had my 14 year old dog aquamated in 2018. Your story hits hard. I never thought I’d become a cat lady, I never thought i would fall so much in love with my cats, but here I am, sobbing as I listen to Eloise’s story and holding my cats as tight as I can. May you learn to carry your grief in such a graceful yet powerful way like everything else you do ❤

[@MydNyteRayne]

Watched this one last night.. I swear the grief from all the kitties lost in my life came back... I had tears from start to finish....

[@skibumf.2807]

I am very sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is for you to go through this. My 16 years old cat also got a rare cancer just like your black cat. She passed away two weeks ago. Doctor said she will have 3 months left, but it was only last a month from the day we saw the doctor. She passed at home. It was very painful to see that. 😢

[@bunnyb1599]

I'm so sorry for your loss! This video came out at the perfect time... We just got the news that our 17 year old cat has a cancer spot on her back. The vet said he did not recommend surgery to take it off because of her age. So, it's gonna be managing it at home until we can't any longer. 😭 I'm so sad for her. But she's eating, drinking, toileting, and as active as she is being 17, so antibiotics, pain med, and anti-inflammatories to keep her comfortable... until it's time to make that call. 😭Thank you for posting this video. ❤ Your tribute to Eloise is beautiful. ❤

[@infantrycaptain9224]

You have saved so many cat lives and have been an inspiration to millions of people. You are a hero and honored by all. 🎖

[@SweetyHelen92]

Sorry for your loss, I'm grieving a baby named Lluvia, she was black 🐈‍⬛ and I had to run at five am two days ago because she could even hold her head up anymore... It's so painful when this time comes. All ways of grieving are ok, I don't have ashes but I spread high quality kitten food between her stray friends and that was part of my grieving rituals.