Life Update: Where My Head is at the Moment - Thinking about My Present & Future

[@josefinelinder3436]

Just found your channel and can relate a lot to your journey - of the unknown and dealing with failure ❤ hope your doing well whatever your up to atm

[@Ohkayla2]

Heyy, I hope you’re doing great ☺️

[@doompug9886]

I feel the same way. I wanna start stuff and do things but fear always holds me back. I have no hobbies or friends cause my self esteem is so piss poor. but you inspire me! PS you look gorgeous and keep being you!

[@Bloominescence]

Thank you so much for the compliment and encouragement!! I always was afraid people wouldn't watch my videos or take me seriously if I didn't make myself up. Being 30 really changed how I think because I care a lot less now about a lot of things, including that 😆 Fear is, I think, most people's #1 reason why they won't do something they know they should that's good for them. So much of what stops me from starting new things is the financial aspect. Learning things cost money. I'm not sure whether to pay for these courses or just try researching these jobs on my own. It's a headache. But what matters is that you take the 1st step. So start somewhere. Use what you have and if you need monetary support, then at least you know you did what you could for the time-being. That's what I have to tell myself every day 😅 And LOL I totally get you. I have tons of hobbies and 0 friends, but I quite like that. I'm a creature of habit and actually learned I'm not that flexible with the schedule I've put myself on for the last... 16 years 🤣 But I'm happy I inspire you. I hope you spend every one of your days doing what you enjoy and that soon, you'll go after the life you want! 💖

[@yellowsegovia7914]

I don't usually comment in youtube, english is not my first language, but i wanted to say that i really wish you the best. I been strugling with the same many things that you, and im sticking with the plan of working in a meaningless job to move to the country side quickly to just live a rural life, have my space and make it work, thanks for your openess and for this little space to open myself to :)

[@Bloominescence]

Oh, well for the record, your English is great! Thank you so much for coming out and commenting. I'm actually so touched that I make you comfortable enough to do that for me! And thank you for your support. I totally understand you. On my video about being unemployed, a lot of people told me I should've just stuck with teaching so that I wouldn't be financially dependent. I get that. But nobody knows the strife you go through with a job unless they're in your shoes. Teaching was destroying me in every way of the word. I wouldn't trade this life--albeit difficult--for the life I had. With that said, I commend people like you who stick with a job(s) they don't enjoy in order to fulfill a much bigger goal. You choose to do what's right for you and that's truly admirable. I wish you all the best in your endeavors. If you feel safe and comfortable to comment on my videos again, please don't hesitate. Just this 1 comment alone that you posted helps to remind me that I'm doing something right. Thank you!! 💖

[@Galctcwarrior]

Im right there with you, just wanting more out of life. And I felt the exact same way you felt about having your own space. At the same time it gets really lonely especially if life is boring. Trying to find love and empathy for yourself because you aren’t where you want to be or “should be”

[@Galctcwarrior]

Be kind to yourself 🤍

[@Bloominescence]

@@Galctcwarrior Yess, wanting more out of life is the thing. It's a harsh reality when you spend your entire youth thinking you're going to become the adult we were taught to be and then end up on "the other side of being an adult," which is confusion, hopelessness, frustration, and--a lot of the times--depression. I've been surrounded by the wrong crowd forever, so I actually never felt lonely. But I certainly understand what you mean. Life can be boring at times. I personally don't find it to be boring at all. Somehow, I'm the busiest person I know lol And I find joys in so many things. I guess it depends on what you're looking for, or if you're going to make those happy things yourself. We definitely can struggle in finding love and empathy for ourselves when we feel guilt for a lot of things most of the time. But we need self-love and empathy. We need those to keep pushing forward because we do have control in where we're going, and in the people we want to be. As you said, be kind to yourself. If many things aren't going right in your life, then we at least need to be kind to ourselves because a lot of our respective situations aren't our doing. And we can make them better one step at a time 💖

[@rosangie7041]

KZbin sucks at least of the phone because it won't let you pause the video and comment or maybe i just can't figure it out. Anyway, i related to many things you said. 1. Planning trips is one of my favourite things to do. I planned to go back to Japan this time with my bf and was mega excited about it but covid is coming back so :/ But I did plan my parents trip to Barcelona and loved doing that! Checking hotels, places to eat, visit, etc 2. I love babies too even though i don't say it out loud. XD I think I feel bitter because among my friends I'm one of the last standing without kids. 3. Would you consider teaching english to young kids remotely or is that out of question? One at a time of course...although I know doing that is a lot of work and suspect that it does not pay well. 4. I clean during the day when I'm on work breaks and I love it. It's relaxing. My boyfriend thinks I have a problem and he tries to help but i really enjoy it myself XD 5. I also feel like I'm constantly waiting for things to happen. For example I know have a job which I love but it will probably end soon and though i have the time to look for something else permanent right now...I just don't. I also see everyone else buying houses, cars, getting pets, getting married, children, etc. But then I look at my own life and thing wow I have a LOT of freedom to do whatever I want. The problem is that I don't use that freedom wisely...I just waste it away. So, I get it. :) We just need to work on changing our perspective of things and life, which is not easy, but we will get there.

[@rosangie7041]

Didn't want to speak for both of us in my last paragraph, but that's what I felt hearing you talking about waiting things to happen. :)

[@g_ellybean]

we are the same in pretty much most aspects lol, hoping that it's only up from here for the both of us ❤

[@Bloominescence]

I've been going through so much with life forever, so when I get comments like yours telling me my video is relatable, I always want to say, "Nice! High five!" but then I take it back because I think, 'Nooo, your life is rough, too, huh?' 😪 I hope so for the both of us, too. Thank you for your support. Seriously, if no one else tells you this, or even if they do, I really do believe you have what it takes to better your life. You'll get there! 💖