4 Common Memoir Mistakes & How to Avoid Them

[@user-ym5fh8pi8v]

Before hearing about "the book before the book" I had thought I "wasted" years of hate/healing writing.... but I did not. I was healing. Now I can write from Scars.

[@knliteraryarts]

Yes! Time spent writing is never wasted. It's part of the journey 💛

[@robertthomason8905]

Same same

[@darknightofthesoul7628]

There's a contradiction between "writing from the scar, not the wound." Writing in present tense, via scene structure, necessitates placing the wound front and center, allowing it to bleed just enough, to get the point across, make the impact required for authenticity. Point #4 is valuable--to a point. When first I embarked upon writing my memoir, I did not understand the genre well enough to realize the book is not for me--it's for the reader. Technique was also a new realm to explore--for that reason alone, your advice is sage. However, once I felt comfortable understanding the niche I would fill, I immediately ceased reading others' memoirs--why? Because I am developing my unique voice, untainted as possible, by other authors. Writing has grown into an obsession, destroying sleep, opening wounds I'd glossed over with time. Yet, to give my readership that which will help them overcome life's hurdles I'd faced, the pain is worth every sleepless night, every shattering realization, every moment spent confused with seemingly broken compass. As for writing in scenes--classic advice! My memoir recounts a year-long backpacking adventure taken during the height of the Cold War. I kept journals during the entirety of the trip. Hence, interspersed between scenes, I've sandwiched in journal entries. Not only do they account for time and place, they serve as "connectors" between the scenes. I am now half-way through the book--it's taken three years of writing eight-plus hours per day, seven days a week. I leave the house perhaps two or three times a month...to buy groceries. If there's one piece of advice I would give to others, this would be it: ask yourself, "Which is more important: getting it done right, or getting it done right now?" Be patient with yourself. Every mistake, every re-write is a precious learning experience. Savor the journey as much as reaching your destination. PS: I could not have made it this far without your guidance. When the time is right, I will get in touch for assistance with publishing. Thank you!

[@knliteraryarts]

Thank you so much for sharing your perspective! And we'd love to help you take your next steps when you're ready.

[@sheilamontalvo]

Loved the exercise to write a scene in the present moment.

[@knliteraryarts]

Wonderful! Thank you for taking the time to comment and let us know!

[@nancyliu2001]

Thank you ! You sound extremely experienced in memoir books. 10:38 evolution in me. A changed person 11:09 read best selling memoir book: crying in H mart, everything I know about love, redefining realness, the light of the world , eat pray love 2:10 carve out one theme only 3:30 show don’t tell 4:00 plotting write in scenes. 5:45 Use present tense 6:50 five senses anger isn’t a problem. 7:28 Anger needs to be expressed 7:45 8:28 write from scars 9:17 write a book for myself before write for other readers

[@knliteraryarts]

Thanks for you comment! KN Literary Arts works a lot with memoir and nonfiction authors.

[@bernicevenable8885]

We all know your tips are on target. More than that, you draw us right into your videos and make us listen. You should be in the movies talking about all this. Continue the good work to make us all better writers, or for people like me to be encouraged as a newbie! Thank you!!!

[@knliteraryarts]

Thank you so much for your kind words💛

[@fherenheights]

Great points, thank you Kelly. I admit, I often avoid reading other people’s memoirs that could potentially impact my ideas inside the one I am currently writing. For example, Glennon Doyle was a serious alcoholic and drank to suppress. I’d love to read her books - and will, but .. although my story isn’t directly about my alcoholism it is a part of the main theme. My worry is that I would subconsciously take her style or ideas as my own. I’d rather my story be raw, and straight from my own experience.

[@knliteraryarts]

Thank you for sharing your perspective. A lot of writers feel this way.

[@BrunchwiththeBradleys]

@@knliteraryartsis there a video about this? ❤

[@anna-rosephipps3132]

Brilliant video. Just what I needed to hear, to "write from the scar not the wound" and to write the book before the book. Thank you so much. Great advice

[@knliteraryarts]

You're welcome. We're so glad it helped!

[@KatArt11]

Write from the scar, not the wound. So profound. Love this! 💗

[@knliteraryarts]

Yes! We're so glad it resonated with you.

[@christianarttherapy]

I find your writing tips very helpful, thank you.

[@knliteraryarts]

We're so glad!

[@SuperPastorgary]

I loved the thought of writing in the present tense. I’ll do that and thank you!

[@knliteraryarts]

Wonderful! Let us know how it goes!

[@imaginativestorm]

Great video! You're bang on with these being the major problems. I love the idea of writing the book before the book--but I call it "generating material." Because then you're just finding out what might or might not belong in the book, without judging it first. Also, when you're not "writing" you don't feel you ought to write well. We find that most people become dissatisfied with their writing for two reasons: 1) they're trying to write well, so they're criticizing their rough draft as if it was a final draft; and 2) they're writing the stories of their life as they've always told them, so they feel tired and lifeless. The idea behind the Imaginative Storm and our book WRITE WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW is to give you ways to time-travel into the present of your past. Your advice to write in present tense is brilliant--and when you (the writer) do that, close your eyes and put yourself back in that present and realize all the things you didn't know then that maybe you know now.

[@knliteraryarts]

Thank you so much for sharing! We love your mindset about "generating material!"

[@RobertHarker.wordsmith]

Dear Ms. Notaras, I like your moxie. Your passion is infectious. Well done. -Robert S. Harker

[@knliteraryarts]

Thanks so much for your kind comment, Robert!

[@RobertHarker.wordsmith]

@@knliteraryarts You are quite welcome.

[@jackiebaxa]

❤wow Kelly thank you so much for these videos. Your ability to articulate the realities and demands of what it means to write with the goal of publication blends a no holds barred, tell it like it is dosis of reality with an enthusiasm and encouragement that nonetheless ignites me still with inspiration. Off to my laptop to rewrite in the present tense!😂😂

[@knliteraryarts]

We're so glad!! Thank you for your kind words!

[@886maryrose]

Thank you Kelly. This helped and made me see sections I needed to get rid of.. love your book

[@knliteraryarts]

Wonderful! And thank you so much!

[@amycannon3037]

Thank you, Kelly. This is so generous. I feel encouraged!

[@knliteraryarts]

We're so glad!

[@shayhamilton4086]

Thank you! Very helpful

[@knliteraryarts]

You're welcome!

[@coffeecreateconnect]

I love your channel. Thank you for sharing your insight. Your advice is appreciated.

[@knliteraryarts]

You are so welcome! Thank you for your kind words.

[@karinturkington2455]

Such great information.

[@knliteraryarts]

Glad it was helpful! Thanks for your comment.

[@aimbee5233]

Thank you for brilliant, concise information!

[@knliteraryarts]

So glad it was helpful!

[@MarkellaGeorgiadis]

These are excellent, thank you Kelly.

[@knliteraryarts]

You are so welcome!

[@UniquelyAshantesCorner]

@KN Literary Arts: I have a memoir-related question. What are some tips you can share for someone who may not remember when certain events happened? I know it's not always important to included specific dates, but what about the sequence of events (i.e. whether something happened before or after you graduated school)? I've often heard that you can ask other people in your life, but sometimes, this isn't doable if they can't remember either. What should the writer do if this is the issue they're currently faced with? If you could please share some advice, it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance.

[@knliteraryarts]

Great question! Kelly addressed this common issue in this blog post: knliterary.com/2018/04/24/3-roadbumps-youll-probably-encounter-when-writing-a-book-about-your-life/ We hope that helps!

[@hadleybaker]

Your videos have been so so helpful!

[@knliteraryarts]

We're so glad! Thanks for leaving a comment to let us know.

[@KJ-zr2ko]

❤ thank you. That was insightful.

[@knliteraryarts]

You are so welcome!

[@nicolengyuen]

Thanks Kelly! This is very helpful. I have a question: you mentioned writing in present tense - can you elaborate on that? If one chooses to open the chapter writing in present, can they change to another verb tense throughout the chapter? Or should they stick to that present tense writing throughout that entire chapter? Thank you!

[@knliteraryarts]

Writing in present tense can be a helpful practice, but it is not the only way to write a compelling book. An editor can be extremely helpful in choosing which tense to write or how to skillfully switch between them. You can also pay attention when you're reading books in your genre to study what tense they were written in for ideas.

[@aylinalpaslan8071]

You are amazing.

[@knliteraryarts]

Thanks for your comment! 💚

[@m_a_lissa]

Very helpful!

[@knliteraryarts]

So glad!

[@jameshannon2980]

I would like to rewrite a self-published Memoir that I wrote just for family and friends. It is my struggle to reach a profession in which I find I do not have the academic skills to reach that goal. The goal was to become a professional astronomer. My life was a series of blocks and sidetracks that keep me from working to reach my goals. I worked hard and after starting my family I got serious and built my own observatory and became an advanced amateur astronomer and had my work published with several college research programs and worldwide organizations. I cannot change my life, but I can rewrite my book with a different title and views changing it from its original form. Please is this a worthwhile project?

[@knliteraryarts]

Thank you for sharing. "Worthwhile project" can mean a lot of different things. It may help for you to decide what your goal is for your book so you can answer that question. We'd love to speak you about your project if you're interested in assistance with it: knliterary.com/schedule/

[@jameshannon2980]

@@knliteraryarts Thank you for the reply. Before I formally contact you at your site let me tell something I have run across in my research. I self-published as a Memoir. My book is really an autobiography as I tell my story of my love of the night sky from the time, I was a young child and very early in life was so filled with that love I could hardy thing of anything else. My struggle was a lifelong battle and only reached what I would call an outcome late in life. It takes the story of my life to show the real struggles I faced. So again, should the book be called a Memoir or an Autobiography.

[@knliteraryarts]

It's hard to classify without knowing more but this video might help: kzbin.info/www/bejne/r5OrlYh4qZapmKMsi=dGT7rVqDQitFcoML

[@StormOracle]

This is great but now I'm confused. I'm writing a mystical teaching memoir filled with visions, downloads and flashbacks. To clearly define the two, I'm writing the visions, downloads and flashbacks in present tense and the narrative in past tense? Do I have this backwards?

[@knliteraryarts]

There is no right or wrong way. We find that writing in present tense can be a helpful exercise but it may not be the way your final book is written. A coach or editor will be able to help you figure out the best style that suits your narrative.

[@StormOracle]

@@knliteraryarts Thank you