Kramer Needs to Poop

Kramer percolates. "The Pilot" Season 4

[@880728leonjf]

Thats the most stressfull moment you can have in your entire life

[@vanessabayardo9788]

or ear pain or tooth pain.

[@ptbot3294]

Once i got hit during the final exam. I was the first one out of the exam room.

[@vanessabayardo9788]

@@ptbot3294 stress can do that to u. Hope u talked to your teacher right afterwards and explained for a chance for more points.

[@smokesletsgo2374]

especially when it's a liquidey gurgley shit and you're praying your sphincter can hold on for juuuuust a bit longer...and as soon as you see a toilet the pressure increases ten fold

[@Silly_Illidan]

I know...... controlling

[@heliopyre]

I love how instead of just waiting a couple of minutes at the office he decides to run around the city instead

[@jasb1133]

When its a emergancy your better off walking rather then sitting/standing in one spot.

[@ARIZJOE]

Well, it's a comedy, a fictive drama. It was a plot device. The smarter thing would have been hit the stairs to a men's room a floor below.

[@heliopyre]

@@ARIZJOE I understand it was a plot contrivance for the sake of comedy. I'm not a retard. if it were a different character the they would have just waited and the story would have been written that they'd be standing there for ages like at the Chinese restaurant. only Kramer would tear ass around the city looking for a place.

[@temple134]

That part killed me 😂😭

[@jubileelennon]

heliopyre i’ve had to use the mens room before luckily noone came in. lol

[@elektro3000]

Michael Richards is such a master of physical comedy.

[@vadimnesen8060]

The new Charlie chaplin

[@juicepick7131]

And his racist comedy can't be beat 😂

[@veritasnumero3721]

He got it from the Honeymooners - watch the old shows.... It's amazing how much seinfeld borrowed from Gleason - togo

[@AB-wf2js]

@@juicepick7131 can you fucking let that go? Seriously, the reason why celebrities go crazy is because of people like you who never let go of a mistake someone made and continue to bring it up, he apologised, leave him be.

[@kennybegeske8824]

Assman

[@DAMusic-qu2ec]

What is great about this show is they always use code words for when they talk about vulgar subjects. It’s so much funnier that way.

[@frankthetank1369]

Percolating.

[@craigrogers3235]

The dreaded apparatus 😂

[@alexkokkola]

@@craigrogers3235 The Big E

[@CharlesN-hb1hu]

Yes ,that true and yes it is funnier , if u catch it watching ,

[@RunstarHomer]

Wet 'n' wild

[@carlosbot01]

I love how happy the gang is at the end for Kramer over basically finally being able to take a dump lol

[@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823]

That's a big deal if you have that problem. Hope it never happens to you. It cab be extremely painful. You might think you're dying or having a heart attack

[@marioiacolucci]

@@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823 yes it would be

[@Dana-wq5tp]

0:43 Jason Alexander suppressing a laugh. 1:05 Larry David's voice.

[@zander4076]

Jerry and jason were so close to bursting

[@andreiboroianu946]

@@zander4076*bussin

[@vishalmenon05]

I love the way George hands over the sandwich to Jerry and walks to the bathroom. Pure gold.

[@stuartholden6163]

Same

[@jackwimmer2249]

@@stuartholden6163is he going in there to throw up?

[@RunstarHomer]

@@jackwimmer2249 No, he doesn't want to miss his chance like Kramer did.

[@jackwimmer2249]

@@RunstarHomeryeah that makes more sense.

[@matthewscherer9681]

I like how Kramers’ constipation becomes a big topic amongst his friends - and that they’re happy once he finally goes 😂

[@shyy87]

I think they were happier when he finally “went” than when he passed his kidney stone 😂

[@MM-iy7gz]

That is true friendship

[@marioiacolucci]

I know the feeling when you have to go well you know

[@GameTime-yj6qv]

Kramer acting like he cant act is some fine acting

[@KeithHiew]

Jerry is trying SO hard not to laugh.

[@mistervanderveer]

Jason is losing it at 0:42

[@LordTalax]

He was doing that most of the series, bad actor

[@analuisahering2149]

They are ALL trying not to laugh ! :)

[@MatrixDiscovery]

Someone in the audience is losing a lung laughing.

[@Aj-ex7pf]

J S are u joking? What the fuck is wrong with you man?

[@jackwebb437]

Kramer running through the city trying to get home to poop is equivalent to us country folks driving 10 miles home with our flashers on and sweat beads popping out on the forehead.

[@jessicawidmeier2862]

Pick a tree, sometimes you have to.

[@nomdeplume2213]

Just pop a squat lol u must not be a true country folk

[@jackwebb437]

@@nomdeplume2213 😂😂😂

[@josephlalock8378]

or the last half mile to your house after having white castles 90 miles ago

[@chesucat]

If he lived in San Fransisco, he could just go squat on the street.

[@shoqwavebeats8745]

It was an emergency jerry, i was really percolating lol, i will never stop watching Seinfeld

[@DEADG6D]

denwhatt it simply is the standard for sitcoms.. wat they can all aspire to be but none shall ever replicate

[@mockingbird195]

I love the way George walks away when Jerry says "apparatus".

[@liberalweirdo7886]

Sarry customiz only

[@marioiacolucci]

was that him running?

[@RandomVideoVault]

But of course

[@marioiacolucci]

you need to check your spelling!

[@marioiacolucci]

+Scarlett OHara did Kramer have to pump air into that thing how do you use it?

[@RandomVideoVault]

Mario Iacolucci Water

[@JonatasAdoM]

"Oh, it's not that bad" "-Yes it is."

[@raptirboy180]

Dude one of the audience members was just laughing his ass off

[@larrymoore6640]

You just got to love how Kramer can make us all laugh about everyday type problems. Miss that show.

[@lyndaoneill7813]

Michael Richard's practically owned that show,He was hysterical to watch all the time, that toilet business was so funny.He is one funny bloke.🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿👍♥️

[@cali9073]

3:48 that dance and song was just classic Gold from Kramer. 😂

[@tubekxb]

The comic Ron White once joked, "You ever take a dump so big, your pants fit better afterwards?"

[@marioiacolucci]

tubekxb why did George go to the washroom?

[@blargo]

He was worried about missing his chance and being in the same situation as Kramer.

[@marioiacolucci]

Blargo OK I got it

[@scottdinges3347]

Lol that's true.

[@rocknroller77]

@@marioiacolucci the power of suggestion

[@musicalman1995]

This is how true friends deal with constipated buddies.

[@surfwriter8461]

"Wet and wild" Yeah, that sums it up. Only Kramer could make a laugh riot fiasco out of being constipated and then finding relief at last.

[@leafyutube]

Pooping is under rated.

[@TCintheClutch]

Jerry and George can barely hold in bursting out in laughter. 😂 “You can’t play Kramer.” “I am Kramer!”

[@tomservo5347]

What's really horrifying is your bowels chambering a round while you're stuck in traffic...there is literally nothing you can do and it's actually a phobia of mine.

[@archkull]

shit in the back seat

[@mfaure420]

I recently started a new Rx and while it doesn't happen a lot, twice now I have gotten a little like bubble in my stomach and like 10 minutes later I HAVE to go. Thank God both times I was home. On the road that would be very worrisome.

[@tomservo5347]

@@mfaure420 Happened to me in high school two days in a row at the same time during marching band practice and I had to use the horrible stalls that didn't even have doors on them at my school with some of the most gut churning shits I've ever had. Almost didn't make it. This phobia made me quit band (all the traveling to competitions) and severely screwed me up for years. Living in a rural area I had to ride the school bus 45 minutes to and from school each way-a daunting prospect. Don't know why-took me time to learn to chill and if it happens, oh well let it rip.

[@erwinfelis4613]

I know the feeling. I was on the way to the airport in Milwaukee when I had the feeling. I was in the city, but with miles to go yet. There was the sweat beading on my head. It was horrible. Finally, when I got to the airport I probably looked like a crazy person because I was running very fast to the bathroom.

[@chesucat]

Every truck drivers fear!

[@charlesklimko492]

One of life's simple, underappreciated pleasures.

[@Harp_and_Guitar_Moving_Forward]

More like a requirement....

[@wavesound8499]

trying to poop in downtown new york is a nightmare

[@Wgaither1]

Why is that

[@Entropy__]

​@@Wgaither1no public bathrooms

[@Bendwow]

Just use the street like all the homeless bums do 🤣🤣

[@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823]

No library?

[@erickbuckner4485]

@@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823 What do you mean?

[@heythereskinwalker]

This episode is why I never hold it in.

[@tommyt1971]

“I got no... peristalsis.”

[@marioiacolucci]

What does that mean anyway

[@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823]

​@@marioiacolucciMuscles that tense to go.

[@marioiacolucci]

@@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823 thanks man for getting back to me be well as they say in demolition man

[@zoestarkman7441]

It's so funny the way Kramer was running. 😂

[@pegleg00]

body double

[@theftothek]

Prarie dogging is the most uncomfortable feeling ever.

[@allthatjazzspaz95]

Prairie dogging might be the most uncomfortable phrase ever

[@gabrielaguilar1391]

@@allthatjazzspaz95 ok, understood! From now on, it shall be known as turtle heading.

[@pauljordan4452]

@@gabrielaguilar1391 Or in Britain, touching cloth.

[@Melissa0774]

He actually managed to hold it when he got mugged.

[@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823]

If he hadn't. I bet they'd have left him be!

[@Melissa0774]

@@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823It would've been to late at that point.

[@erickbuckner4485]

@@Melissa0774 Right

[@prevara5162]

I always loved Jerry’s bike on the wall

[@hiphopheaven2]

1:05 Larry

[@flisko123]

just wanted to type that

[@mobus1603]

flisko me, too -- hehe

[@user-rh5yf2wz8l]

Good hearing!😍

[@cyberpimp29]

Dude, yes!!

[@HeatherSpoonheim]

Great ear!

[@flatplant]

It's funny how Kramer sounds so stiff when reading lines that he actually said irl.

[@ancyentfathoms]

No reason not to shit in central park.

[@smaakjeks]

lol

[@patgogan7324]

Or in an alley behind the restaurant lol

[@tommorin6195]

Bathroom had a sink

[@ramondrose3558]

That was an emergency shituation

[@randyjohnson805]

Everybody else does

[@mobus1603]

I don't think anything says Kramer to me more than after George offers him a bite of his sandwich @1:53, and he does that little head stroke with a spin.

[@debellmore3221]

Seinfeld was the funniest show on tv. I still watch all the re-runs. Most hilarious show on the air in its day! Right up there with Everybody Loves Raymond!! Best shows ever!! 🤣👍👍

[@antigraphein943]

Louie's better in sitcoms.

[@zaltmanbleroze]

Yeah I watch those too and King of Queens which co stars Jerry Stiller (Frank Costanza) who really steals the show in King of Queens as Arthur Spooner.

[@realUlfricStormcloak]

I live to line Seinfeld's pockets with rerun royalty rewatches 😀

[@willc5723]

Not to mention that there are a few characters that were here kelly deke’s wife as the bookstore clerk and bania

[@walterwhite1]

It’s a classic

[@Rcsully65]

This is up there with passing the stone at the circus

[@julianj9830]

3:03 one of the best Kramer bits lmao

[@afarmenian]

This incident would later inspire George to come up with the idea for the iToilet

[@user-fo9hs9ep8g]

"I got no Peristalsis." 🤣😂

[@Skyriiing]

And I am watching this while on the toilet, adds more to the comical situation.

[@teresapflaumer5717]

4:06 the look on Elaine's face after Kramer said "Wet and wild" was hilarious! She looked like she was going to barf!

[@erickbuckner4485]

It feels like she’s going to barf! 🤢🤢

[@MusicmanII777]

She was starting to laugh actually. They cut the camera real quick after that😅

[@pillbelichick]

I saw Joe DiMaggio in Dinky donuts again

[@mobus1603]

Haha, almost "I saw Joe...DiMaggio in Dinky...Donuts again"

[@himanv]

In 2018, this would now be just Dinky. No donuts. But Seinfeld is still funny.

[@mikeg1378]

pillbelichick oh...he’s a dunker

[@jona71377]

I met Joe in a San Francisco funeral home (1980)

[@csllover]

But this time I went in

[@hgfuhgvg]

Clearly that was Larry David saying the line "sorry, customers only"

[@tikeya7952]

Yup, I remember those days of living in New York. Lol. You had to buy something before they'd let you use their bathroom.

[@patrickdron]

Kramer gave himself an enema to help relieve his constipation, must have been extreme

[@rmiddlehouse]

George totally cracking up at 0:43

[@JD_300]

When I first saw this episode and Kramer said that he missed his chance I thought he the next thing he was going to say was that he didn’t make it to the toilet in time

[@tommyt1971]

“Hey Pistol-packin’ Mama!”

[@Jaso700]

1:06 the movie says a Far Of Place lol, always thought that was hilarious how Kramer was running all over town trying to find a bathroom

[@RandomVideoVault]

Ha! I get it!

[@marioiacolucci]

Scarlett OHara only kramer

[@marioiacolucci]

_TheBringerOfRain_ is this really possible or was this a joke if you miss your chance to well you know what

[@chuchulainn9275]

Mario Iacolucci It can indeed. I am a trucker and once had to poop in the middle of the night. I was near a truck stop but it wasn't a 24 hr one. Long story short, I walked 2 miles to find a bathroom.

[@KyleMoran626]

@@RandomVideoVault check out all the places names...

[@ValdVincent]

To be honest, it's actually a great feeling, after you do it, just make sure you get the water right.

[@dns1235]

Best 3 words ever spoken on Seinfeld. “ wet and wild”

[@rickrose5377]

Kramer got his mojo back!

[@MrMauidiver]

Too bad he wasn’t in San Francisco, could have gone...........anywhere.

[@AWK007]

Same in India

[@williammurphy8293]

Lol

[@eddiemarconi51]

Lol so true

[@dickJohnsonpeter]

Portland or Seattle too. You are getting more and more options For sidewalk pooping all the time.

[@bigh7972]

Watch out when Kramer is percolating… He can’t possibly enter a room like his old self. Time for him to go wet and wild.

[@LB__1]

If only George's iToilet app had been around during that time. It would have helped Kramer find a place to relieve himself.

[@erickbuckner4485]

You’re absolutely right

[@drlight6677]

The NBC executive who gives Kramer directions to the bathroom is the same actor in Robocop who gets shot by Ed 209 in the boardroom a thousand times.

[@Will87]

The smile at 0:19 cracks me up everytime

[@seektruth8662]

Reminds me of episode about masturbation where they never actually say the word. Here 'bathroom' is as far as the censors will let them go, but they cleverly work around it in the funniest way possible.

[@erickbuckner4485]

What episode is that?

[@seektruth8662]

@@erickbuckner4485 it was named The Contest. season 4, episode 11.

[@laterdudesaint]

Impacted bowels are no joke my friend..

[@JW-do2wc]

So that's what constipated means.

[@jenniferhoffman5347]

I still love this show!

[@mayhemjr.803]

My buddy drove a cab years ago and this kind of thing happened to him but he was in his cab. Luckily nobody was in it.. He was "percolating" like Kramer said but the problem was he was on the freeway and the traffic was so bad he couldn't get off. Suddenly it exploded into his underwear and into his socks. So he decided just to drive back to his place clean his cab, burn his clothes , take a shower, and head back.🤣😅🤣

[@Bournefort]

I had explosive diarrhea in my pants in the middle of NYC central park because all of the bathrooms were closed for maintenance.

[@Delightfully_Bitchy]

Burn his clothes, though? 😆

[@chesucat]

Those poor truck drivers. They really need to wear adult diapers like the astronauts do.

[@erickbuckner4485]

@@chesucat I thought babies can wear diapers

[@erickbuckner4485]

@@chesucat What adult diapers? Astronauts don’t wear diapers.

[@SGTMasterBean]

Wet n wild lol

[@TheSaeghe]

1:05 lol that's Larry David saying " Sorry customers only "

[@ozzyozz4494]

Honestly refusing to let someone use the bathroom is inhumane...

[@mobus1603]

Have you ever had to clean a bathroom after bums in New York have been using it all day? Have you ever had a junkie overdose in your bathroom after shooting up? It's not only sad and disgusting, but it's bad for business when customers walk in on that that stuff. Get back to me when you're a business owner in a huge city like New York.

[@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823]

​@@mobus1603You can see a troublemaker from 50 paces, what's the problem?

[@mobus1603]

@@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823 Better yet, I can have a standard in place that's enforced equally, so I don't get sued for being a racist redneck 😉

[@andrewjemmott3213]

:20 that look on Kramer’s face...not sure how Jerry held that laugh in! Definitely had to shoot this scene multiple times hahaha

[@JH-no]

Prunes, coffee, blueberries and bran flakes. In abundance. Works like a charm.

[@frankthetank1369]

You forgot good coke. 😂

[@sacplissken]

You can hear Larry David telling Kramer at the restaurant that bathroom for patrons only.

[@one_degenerated_ontarian]

3:01 - The camera barely shows George after this as he can't stop laughing

[@CoastersBolts]

Wet 'n wild. DEAD

[@sayantan1287]

The moment when Kramer said Percolating and George stopped himself from taking a bite was a fine touch by the actor.. Awesome..

[@DEthe5150]

*Percolating

[@onetime1828]

I love when he's running through the woods with that look of concern. 😂

[@DEthe5150]

Being that it's New York City, and what with all the skyscrapers and buildings, I guess Central Park would be considered "the woods" to New Yorkers.

[@user-bw7to8mz9u]

Poor Kramer. As I write this, I’m taking a dump that’s so raunchy I’m contemplating selling my house. My bathroom will never be the same after today. I’ve gone thru a bottle of Febreze and it’s not even touching it. The room is about 15 degrees warmer now.

[@anda6963]

Wow.. Thank you for sharing that with us. I can almost smell the great odour permeating every inch of the room.. Lol

[@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823]

Use poo pourry 1st. It's a spray for that use.

[@erickbuckner4485]

@@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823 Right

[@beener_80k56]

does any one else hear that 1 guy laughing in the audience with that really annoying laugh,,,

[@apple54345]

probably larry david or someone else behind the camera. the generic laugh track layer over-top doesn't drown it out enough... annoying indeed.

[@macklemoo1229]

Idk man I think that cackle is pretty damn funny...

[@OtterloopB]

I think it makes it better.

[@antigraphein943]

I wish there was not a laughing track or laughs at all. It makes it utterly annoying.

[@dustbunny4527]

roberto it also makes most of these shows utterly unfunny. Corner Gas for the win

[@DaveRMP12]

For those wondering @ 2:38 Peristalsis is a series of wave-like muscle contractions that move food through the digestive tract.

[@LB__1]

"Really? Tell us more, Mr. Science." I am only teasing. I just couldn't resist posting this response.

[@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823]

Yup. Just look at videos of what happens when it doesn't work. Like that new skinny drug. Oh, man, nastiest thing ever.

[@mobus1603]

I have great "peristalsis" after my morning coffee 😆

[@Cookieboy70]

Those first 2 noises...I couldn't tell whether that was Kramer, Kramer's stomach, or noises coming from the bathroom.

[@MaloneMantooth]

The Dreaded apparatus Lol Edit: Any one in this situation take one multi vitamin and one Magnesium pill after, it's like an exorcism.

[@1rewd133]

Popcorn and an apple works for me every time.

[@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823]

Coffee.

[@savelejo]

In NYC no one has a bathroom for you to use. "Where do you go?" I asked a cashier.

[@TheConservativeHippie]

It’s worse in Italy

[@SoDamnMetal]

I'd ask them if they'd prefer I shit on the floor :)

[@tolumnia]

Peristalsis, involuntary movements of the longitudinal and circular muscles, primarily in the digestive tract but occasionally in other hollow tubes of the body, that occur in progressive wavelike contractions. Peristaltic waves occur in the esophagus, stomach, and intestines.

[@Vicvines]

I love how he opens his door like he's sneaking drugs

[@danvanhoose6783]

Three or four taco bells and your in business.

[@johnjuhasz9125]

Dan Van Hoose chase it with a hot cup of coffee.

[@clinteastwood6875]

Raisin Bran, Sunflower Kernels, Broccoli, Prune Juice…and of course some coffee.

[@jAYROCCS1x]

“sorry buddy, full house” 😂

[@nothingforgrantedPS23]

I'm using that one.

[@Thegriff19]

I love when the cast almost breaks character in this show. Like at 00:18.

[@hasonitoKGB]

KZbin recommended me this while I’m sitting in the bathroom pooping with my phone in my hand watching videos 🤭

[@watcherofwatchers]

So?

[@RoadTripzz14]

Now that is an algorithm!

[@lemonhead162]

That happened to me one time when I drank some iced coffee before my work shift at the mall. Also, the dreaded apparatus happened to me too. I felt like I gave birth!

[@erickbuckner4485]

How did that feel?

[@erickbuckner4485]

That was painful

[@Coolness18304]

I thought I've seen every episode

[@priyamason7365]

This is one of the best episodes

[@mikehorton6195]

If you’ve ever had a panic shit...

[@OarsmanPower]

That entire video is hilarious. Great job!

[@66limelight]

George had the same problem. When they were at the Chinese restaurant and he was telling Jerry why he had to leave while having sex with his girlfriend. The way he described it was hilarious.... The impending unstoppable force.

[@manickreations]

he should have tried a bunch of white castle burgers hahahhaha

[@manickreations]

That would work hehehe

[@kerycrisologo1013]

just eat plums or mangoes.

[@kevinbudzinski9569]

Or eat a bunch of food from Taco Bell or McDonald's

[@johnjuhasz9125]

LMAO. White Castle and Taco Bell, followed by a big cup of black coffee !!!

[@atimtg]

Wendy's burgers would do it!

[@TheKitchenerLeslie]

A Far Off Place always makes me laugh.

[@metsfanatic6270]

Kramer almost pulled a poppy

[@FrancisR420]

I think everyone has had a similar experience

[@donesy125]

I saw Joe DiMaggio in Dinky Donuts again

[@UnitedStatesGovt]

Only Kramer can make an Enema look joyous.

[@dalenemoore]

🎶Pistol Packin Mama….🎶🎶🎶is the funniest thing ever!😂😂😂😂