This 7-second test exposes a 'Christian' Narcissist

[@Kris_Reece]

FREE Narcissist Survival Guide krisreece.com/narcissist-survival-guide/

[@annep.1905]

@@davidjacobs828 Psychology was started by an atheist. It was developed by Communist countries and imported into America to undermine churches and Scripture. Stick with the Bible.

[@kathidori8504]

You are very far away from reality.​@davidjacobs828

[@danielblair4413]

What if society is wrong about something, should we submit to that?

[@koltoncrane3099]

We already had a nation wide test on narcissists. Those that demanded you wear a face mask and used their position to feel powerful really showed tons of narcissists. It was easily shown how many narcissists exists in tons of videos of guys wearing a face mask that had their beard on the mask. Women would yell at them to wear a mask and then he’d pull the mask down revealing he had a mask on and the woman looked insane. Tons of narcissists love having power over their neighbor and even strangers. Doug Casey said there’s two types of people in this world. There are those that want to build things and there are those that want to control others and most of those go into government.

[@ryvyr]

In mutual consideration, plenty people would watch the non-adsense if at front/back/both rather than interrupting the video. That aside, narcissism is unfortunate for everyone. I do wish people would lean on confrontational techniques your mention, rather than interpretive mythology, though progress and less harm to society and self is all many people ask.

[@toddtheisen8386]

Been called a narcissist most of my life. Felt I was self centered and petty. Until I got married to a strong, intelligent woman who pointed out the obvious. Turned out most of my family were the narcissists and they disliked my setting boundaries even as a young child. Now in my fifties, I realize why the ire. I have a successful marriage of decades. A job that I have been at for decades with a decent pension. I am one of the hard "go to" guys of my department known for reliability. Both of my children are intelligent and kind. I don't drink, gamble or cheat on my wife. Turns out being a normal, boring person works out in the long run. Most of my family...not so much.

[@BKNeifert]

The most common people to use the term, are narcissists. That's my red flag, is when someone even uses the word.

[@billieross1126]

My favorite? When my mother stood in MY living room and screamed, “because I’m the matriarch of this family!” And followed it up with, “I never wanted to have all you kids. I just couldn’t keep from getting pregnant.” Thanks, mom. That’s my cue. I’ve been no contact ever since.

[@cloudbase7799]

OI! 😮 We can't choose our families. I hope you find healing from those hurtful and false words, and can forgive your Mom, and _maybe_ one day carefully build a relationship with her, built on mutual/reciprocal love and respect, with appropriate boundaries. Oh, and if someone has to make assertions like, "I'm the matriarch!" or "I'm the leader!", etc., they almost definitely aren't! 🤭 I'm close friends of children in a family where their Mom made a similar comment about never wanting children. 🤦🏻‍♂️ I know that is deeply hurtful.

[@Victor-q9]

My sister in law says she wears the crown....I'm assuming she is referring to matriarch...

[@lindabeauchamp4596]

So sorry. What a horrible thinv to say to her own children. She didn't deserve to have you. You can have an amazingling wonderful life WITHOUT her in it!

[@gregrobbins3840]

I imagine her standing on the coffee table while she says this.

[@stoicepictetus3875]

Wow. I can understand your action. What was your mother thinking when she said that ?

[@trischc]

One of the most empowering experiences I've EVER HAD was, after having another disagreement with my mother recently because of me trying to set boundaries (and her suddenly giving me the silent treatment), I cancelled my flight to go home for Christmas (a 6,000 mile journey)! I've never done this before (cancelled holiday plans). She still has no idea that I'm not going to be there. It felt and still feels enormously rewarding and freeing to make the choice that THIS HOLIDAY I REFUSE to be miserable. I cancelled everything without her input or knowledge. She'll figure it out on Christmas Day (when i don't show up). Since she wants to give the silent treatment - I'll honor her and stay out of her way for the rest of this year (including no call on Thanksgiving). I can AND WILL make my own decisions to be happy even if it means being alone! What's even more beautiful - it was a non-refundable ticket but to the glory of God, the Lord gave me favor that I received my money back (His confirmation of His approval to STAY AWAY from the demonic oppression). I'm DONE with the abuse.

[@annalynn9325]

@@trischc I applaud you and support you for honoring your self-worth and giving your mom the understanding that you really mean it and you will back it up. All I would question is the “gotcha” element of not telling her. Anyone would be angry in your shoes. But adding drama onto the narcissist’s drama can be counter-productive. In a ‘scientific’ sense, consequences to an action are most impactful the closer they are to the action and you might consider just being more businesslike with her by saying “that conversation we had, when you said xyz, I am not going to allow you to treat me that way. I don’t want to spend my holidays that way, so I cancelled my trip.”

[@trischc]

@annalynn9325 .....thank you for your kind words and the good place it came from. I believe in an ordinary circumstance, you are correct. However, let me give you more of a background for my decision: Last year my mother had colon cancer around this time. I dropped everything and flew 6,000 miles the same day I learned of her being in the hospital (imagine the ticket cost for that). I got there and helped take care of her for three weeks with no help from my siblings (I'm the youngest - three girls, one boy). She was condescending to me in the hospital, but I said nothing and forgave her. She humiliated me in front of doctors (even speaking derogatory about my physical appearance, but I said nothing and forgave her). She told me she really didn't want me there, but wanted my brother instead. That hurt, but I forgave and said nothing. After she got home (from having her surgery), my brother THEN FINALLY shows up to the house. The first night we argued (my brother and I) and my mother kicked me out of the house for arguing with him. It was late at night and I literally had NO WHERE TO GO (and please keep in mind that I'm 6,000 miles away from home). I had no choice but to go to a hotel which was quite expensive. It was either that or change my flight and spend thousands to leave the mainland immediately. My brother ended up moving in with her and he is STILL living with her to this day (a man who has NEVER had his own place a day in his life because he lives off women). When she kicked me out, my brother kissed her on the forehead thanking her. So, considering me, my mother and my brother have not talked about what happened (the argument that got me kicked out) - I needed to have closure with my mother and him about that incident BEFORE I got there for Christmas but she refused to discuss it. Moreover, she still blames me for the argument despite the fact I was her ONLY child who took care of her during her hospital stay of three weeks. Do you understand what that means? This means I could possibly go there for the holidays and have another argument with him (whether I'm right or wrong) and jeopardy the risk OF AGAIN being thrown out on the street (while 6,000 miles away from home). I will ABSOLUTELY NOT give her that authority ever again. Do you understand? In essence, I wanted to seek peace. So this isn't about "adding drama" my friend. This is about refraining from drama and protecting my heart - and being smart this time around!!

[@trischc]

@annalynn9325 ... @annalynn9325 .....thank you for your kind words and the good place it came from. I believe in an ordinary circumstance, you are correct. However, let me give you more of a background for my decision: Last year my mother had colon cancer around this time. I dropped everything and flew 6,000 miles the same day I learned of her being in the hospital (imagine the ticket cost for that). I got there and helped take care of her for three weeks with no help from my siblings (I'm the youngest - three girls, one boy). She was condescending to me in the hospital, but I said nothing and forgave her. She humiliated me in front of doctors (even speaking derogatory about my physical appearance, but I said nothing and forgave her). She told me she really didn't want me there, but wanted my brother instead. That hurt, but I forgave and said nothing. After she got home (from having her surgery), my brother THEN FINALLY shows up to the house. The first night we argued (my brother and I) and my mother kicked me out of the house for arguing with him. It was late at night and I literally had NO WHERE TO GO (and please keep in mind that I'm 6,000 miles away from home). I had no choice but to go to a hotel which was quite expensive. It was either that or change my flight and spend thousands to leave the mainland immediately. My brother ended up moving in with her and he is STILL living with her to this day (a man who has NEVER had his own place a day in his life because he lives off women). When she kicked me out, my brother kissed her on the forehead thanking her. So, considering me, my mother and my brother have not talked about what happened (the argument that got me kicked out) - I needed to have closure with my mother and him about that incident BEFORE I got there for Christmas but she refused to discuss it. Moreover, she still blames me for the argument despite the fact I was her ONLY child who took care of her during her hospital stay of three weeks. Do you understand what that means? This means I could possibly go there for the holidays and have another argument with him (whether I'm right or wrong) and jeopardy the risk OF AGAIN being thrown out on the street (while 6,000 miles away from home). I will ABSOLUTELY NOT give her that authority ever again. Do you understand? In essence, I wanted to seek peace. So this is about being smart and protecting my heart - something my mother has never done! I stand by my decision.

[@trisch-c]

@@annalynn9325 ... .....thank you for your kind words and the good place it came from. I believe in an ordinary circumstance, you are correct. However, let me give you more of a background for my decision: Last year my mother had colon cancer around this time. I dropped everything and flew 6,000 miles the same day I learned of her being in the hospital (imagine the ticket cost for that). I got there and helped take care of her for three weeks with no help from my siblings (I'm the youngest - three girls, one boy). She was condescending to me in the hospital, but I said nothing and forgave her. She humiliated me in front of doctors (even speaking derogatory about my physical appearance, but I said nothing and forgave her). She told me she really didn't want me there, but wanted my brother instead. That hurt, but I forgave and said nothing. After she got home (from having her surgery), my brother THEN FINALLY shows up to the house. The first night we argued (my brother and I) and my mother kicked me out of the house for arguing with him. It was late at night and I literally had NO WHERE TO GO (and please keep in mind that I'm 6,000 miles away from home). I had no choice but to go to a hotel which was quite expensive. It was either that or change my flight and spend thousands to leave the mainland immediately. My brother ended up moving in with her and he is STILL living with her to this day (a man who has NEVER had his own place a day in his life because he lives off women). When she kicked me out, my brother kissed her on the forehead thanking her. So, considering me, my mother and my brother have not talked about what happened (the argument that got me kicked out) - I needed to have closure with my mother and him about that incident BEFORE I got there for Christmas but she refused to discuss it. Moreover, she still blames me for the argument despite the fact I was her ONLY child who took care of her during her hospital stay of three weeks. Do you understand what that means? This means I could possibly go there for the holidays and have another argument with him (whether I'm right or wrong) and jeopardy the risk OF AGAIN being thrown out on the street (while 6,000 miles away from home). I will ABSOLUTELY NOT give her that authority ever again. Do you understand? In essence, I wanted to seek peace. So this isn't about "adding to the drama" - this is about preventing it, being smart and protecting my heart - something my mother has never done! I stand by my decision.

[@Memoreism]

I'm going through the same thing, my parents refuse to let me bring my partner to Thanksgiving and christmas. So I'm not going cause it feels too awkward. Like, who does that?? I thought only Mormons and Jahovas Witnesses do that.

[@MegaSinglechick]

Never stoop to a fools level. They'll beat you with experience every time.

[@suzannelee4270]

I LOOOOOVE this! I will be quoting haha!!

[@meabeck]

Thank you. Good reminder.

[@teresaellis7062]

What a great quote!

[@stoicepictetus3875]

Very well said.

[@LiveforHim73]

Great 2 liners!! Saving this ! Boundaries do work.

[@johnnytsunami9967]

Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you. - Matthew 7:6 🔥

[@ADude-f3z]

@@johnnytsunami9967 (chuckles) Not to dispute your faith, the Bible used properly is an excellent guide concerning how to live a virtuous life… This scripture in this context though? I would argue that dogs are the polar opposites of narcissists, and worthy of all of the respect and admiration normally reserved for saints. 🥰

[@PBerning]

Good point! This is exactly the behavior of a narcissist, isn't it? It's what they do with the truth when you try to have a conversation, and then they attack you. I will remember this! Thank you!

[@alden547]

@@ADude-f3z people from that area of the world don't feel the same way about dogs as we do. If you dig a little into how Muslims view dogs you will get a glimpse of how the writers of that scripture viewed dogs

[@natnielsen8472]

​@@ADude-f3zWow, you totally took the truth of the scripture out of context - and, to compare dogs to saints?? Totally bizarre and totally false! Dogs were not created in the image of God -- Humans were created in the image of God!!

[@ADude-f3z]

@ IMHO your interpretation of the scripture is blatantly egotistical.

[@hopelives7469]

Don't challenge them, test them or hope to change them. Stay away from them if you can. Never react. Stay calm and respond if you must rather than reacting. Disengage as soon as possible.

[@davidm4566]

Testing is just to see if they are a narcissist. Never tell them you know what they are when they are confirmed to be one.

[@CoachCreesh]

AMEN❤❤❤

[@briandrake6881]

Amen! Do not go to war with Narcs! They will drag you down to their demonic levels. WALK AWAY. Disengage emotionally in everyway.

[@Oakleylaurie]

I agree. Especially don't lead with a "you" message which can be read as criticism. Better to just talk about yourself in regard to your boundaries.

[@rwdchannel2901]

@@davidm4566 Grey Rock Method is the ultimate test to see if someone's a narcissist because a narcissist will double down on their abuse to get narcissistic supply.

[@briandrake6881]

Set boundaries. Bullies hate boundaries.

[@TMoniq]

Especially when they don't know your business they be so upset and visibly angry.

[@lazygardens]

The people who get upset when you start setting boundaries are the ones who benefited from you not having them.

[@RoxanneR8375]

When I finally set boundaries with my narcissist, he just ignored them. Completely. And because of circumstances beyond my control, there was nothing I could do about it.

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

Dad ignored my boundaries my last birthday, he was late and did not have a reason or apology for being late; he was entitled (he thought) to do this and I am not allowed to complain. He's a tyrant. I am 60, and don't live with him; he's a jerk.

[@tonygroves5526]

I once did this with a bad teacher from my kids' Christian school. She phoned me demanding that I volunteer to do something. I was waiting for major surgery and politely declined. She then tried guilt tripping, anger, manipulation to convince me to "volunteer" I then only repeated "that won't work for me." No explanation. She got extremely angry and slammed down the phone. I pulled my oldest daughter out of the school when she would've been taught by angry teacher, and homeschooled her. Angry teacher still won't even acknowledge me when we occasionally encounter each other. I always give her a BIG smile and say hello. The angry encounter probably happened in about 2006! 😂

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

That teacher tanks!

[@ninaerasmus6639]

I'm married to a narcissist for 55years and only realized it after listening to your program! I'm 76years and it's to late to do anything nou, but your advice helps me tremendously, thank you. Jesus was in all this years my navigator! I always gives my pain to Him and I love the LORD with all my heart!!!

[@marj03]

Wow❤. Am glad you have had Jesus Christ in your corner all this while. Am so proud of you Ma'am❤. Keep trusting Him.

[@sheriw4119]

I’ve been married too e for 44 years.

[@Rose4y]

Dear sister, you are a heroine! God bless you!

[@ninaerasmus6639]

@@marj03Thank-you

[@anonymous85953]

18 years for me, but it was necessary for me to get out.

[@dominique7490]

Why do you expect me to prioritize your needs over my own even when it hurts me? That question is worth all of the money in the world. Thank you Kris. ❤

[@stevemargolis5514]

@@dominique7490 once I learn the happy birthday theory and get it down Pat to where it works I'm going to throw that prioritize your needs over mine all the time theory question to my wife. What a blessed year this is going to be... Thank you Chris and also those that reply with what they've learned and are going through it really helps God bless you all ...

[@stevemargolis5514]

The only reason I just said that was because before I read the happy birthday theory I have already made up my mind this year I am going to leave, end the misery. But after singing happy birthday to myself four times last night and seeing how it worked the light went on. I have hope. God hates divorce and so do I but I'm sure he did not expect to people to live together like we have the last 23 years.

[@maylin1986]

​​@@stevemargolis5514 The one thing that helped me to get a divorce is "What Would Jesus Do?" This epiphany happened when I was looking online at relationship videos online. I came across a comment, I forget where. I know I did a screenshot of the comment on my phone, I just don't know where I stored the screenshot of the comment. Anyway, reading the comment was a breath of fresh air. I don't remember verbatim, but that your oath is to "love the other person, until death do you part." But getting heartbroken is a form of death. It's not a death of the person, but it's a death of the love that's now broken with the other person. If your heart breaks, it's because you feel cheated in some way. That's your hearts cue to alerting your heart has been betrayed. Could be by them, you or both. Both could be, not necessarily something you'd take necessarily at fault, as intentionally done. But you can gullibly betray what would've been best for you in this lifetime. In your instance though, your heart was betrayed by someone that sounds covert in their endeavors to have captured you, in terms of marriage. Divorce is sad, but God is of Love and love is of God. He wouldn't want his daughter with a disgenuine person. If you were to switch places and say, have a daughter in the same boat as you, would you tell your daughter to remove herself from such a person? In a heartbeat you sure would! You can always repent from divorcing someone you thought you knew in order to find that ultimate match God has waiting for you on the other side of those divorce papers. But you will be filled from so much regret and more anger, if you stick with someone you know is not right for you the rest of your life. It took 6yrs for the anger and heartache to go away from my very first marriage. I was told by a friend, they're pretty sure I had married an narcissist. It wasn't until 6yrs later, post divorce, I found out I'm also on the Autism Spectrum. I stayed in the marriage, just over 7yrs. I decided I wanted the divorce. I found out he re-married again in that time frame. He's actually happy now. Because we married too young. Albeit he was 3yrs older than me, we were still too young. I always tell kids, get that psychology 101 class in at a college, even if you do not plan to go to college to get a degree. Learn to protect yourselves, young and fresh out of high school. There are people who's been out in the world a lot longer than us, and therefore, you have a greatest chance of running into people who could do more damage to you, than good, if you're not entirely aware yet who you are. Had I known I was on the Autism Spectrum, I'd never had gotten married. But Autism awareness only started to be a thing in the past 15yrs or so. I ended up masking and didn't know. I'm sure that there were people who knew something was wrong with me, but refused to notify the right people, because it would've ruined the incentives for them. TLDR: Don't waste your time on someone who doesn't want to love you, how you want or should be loved as a human being. God wouldn't want that for you. I hope this was helpful. /hugs 💖✨️

[@maylin1986]

​@@stevemargolis5514​​​ The one thing that helped me to get a divorce is "What Would Jesus Do?" This epiphany happened when I was looking online at relationship videos online. I came across a comment, I forget where. I know I did a screenshot of the comment on my phone, I just don't know where I stored the screenshot of the comment. Anyway, reading the comment was a breath of fresh air. I don't remember verbatim, but that your oath is to "love the other person, until death do you part." But getting heartbroken is a form of death. It's not a death of the person, but it's a death of the love that's now broken with the other person. If your heart breaks, it's because you feel cheated in some way. That's your hearts cue to alerting your heart has been betrayed. Could be by them, you or both. Both could be, not necessarily something you'd take necessarily at fault, as intentionally done. But you can gullibly betray what would've been best for you in this lifetime. In your instance though, your heart was betrayed by someone that sounds covert in their endeavors to have captured you, in terms of marriage. Divorce is sad, but God is of Love and love is of God. He wouldn't want his daughter with a disgenuine person. If you were to switch places and say, have a daughter in the same boat as you, would you tell your daughter to remove herself from such a person? In a heartbeat you sure would! You can always repent from divorcing someone you thought you knew in order to find that ultimate match God has waiting for you on the other side of those divorce papers. But you will be filled from so much regret and more anger, if you stick with someone you know is not right for you the rest of your life. It took 6yrs for the anger and heartache to go away from my very first marriage. I was told by a friend, they're pretty sure I had married an narcissist. It wasn't until 6yrs later, post divorce, I found out I'm also on the Autism Spectrum. I stayed in the marriage, just over 7yrs. I decided I wanted the divorce. I found out he re-married again in that time frame. He's actually happy now. Because we married too young. Albeit he was 3yrs older than me, we were still too young. I always tell kids, get that psychology 101 class in at a college, even if you do not plan to go to college to get a degree. Learn to protect yourselves, young and fresh out of high school. There are people who's been out in the world a lot longer than us, and therefore, you have a greatest chance of running into people who could do more damage to you, than good, if you're not entirely aware yet who you are. Had I known I was on the Autism Spectrum, I'd never had gotten married. But Autism awareness only started to be a thing in the past 15yrs or so. I ended up masking and didn't know. I'm sure that there were people who knew something was wrong with me, but refused to notify the right people, because it would've ruined the incentives for them. TLDR: Don't waste your time on someone who doesn't want to love you, how you want or should be loved as a human being. God wouldn't want that for you. I hope this was helpful. /hugs 💖✨️

[@LadyIarConnacht]

Except that question is a trick. It leaves no room for the idea that perhaps the "narcissist" doesn't actually expect that. The idea that you can diagnose somebody in seven seconds is part of what's wrong between parents and children in this era.

[@SewingBoxDesigns]

The real laugh is when a narcissist accuses you of being a narcissist because you won't let them control you. Well then I guess I'm a narcissist.

[@pamelag7553]

You are an anti-narcicist, an overcomer. God is for you. Jesus is your peace..

[@LiveforHim73]

Control is his game on! Whatever is in his pocket that day he’ll throw at you . He loves to quote Scripture. He’s so self righteous he can’t see he’s a self righteous narcissist!

[@TheNaroCroc]

I'm guessing you are the narcissist, too.

[@OnlyHuman214]

I’ve worked in mediation for decades and as a matter of practice, we always use “I-messages” rather than starting a question with a “you” - it comes across as accusatory and will trigger anyone - not just narcissists. For that reason, the question would not accurately identify a narcissist, just someone who is offended. I would rephrase the questions as something similar to “I feel that my needs aren’t a part of the focus right now. Is there a reason for that?” A true narcissist will respond negatively since they lack empathy. Just a suggestion to prevent use of words that trigger a potentially aggressive response that could create additional problems for the receiver.

[@decimanightelf4135]

Narcissists are terrifying. As soon as you realize you are dealing with a narcissist try and minimize interaction with them as much as possible. Defend yourself and do what is necessary to protect yourself, but don’t try to take them on otherwise, you will always lose because they just don’t care.

[@13699111]

%100 terrifying

[@sablechicken]

Agree, I felt a little confused by this video. I thought this was a test for a new person to see if they would be safe to have in one's life. But it was more for people already established in it. If that is the case...why set them off? I just don't fight anymore, there is no point. Things can only quickly become full of nonsense with lots of gaslighting and I always lose, there is nothing to gain or any understanding to be had. I am now beginning to realize that going to Jesus is the best friendship I can find.

[@isomeme]

I'm not a Christian, but I decided to watch this anyway, because I've had problems setting boundaries with narcissists my whole life. I'm glad I did; this seems like some really solid advice. Thanks!

[@AndrewBlucher]

@@isomeme Congrats on keeping away from that god feller. Total narcissist and bully. No wonder so many so called Christians are the same.

[@mvbigmagic4048]

"I can't agree with that." "I'm not good with that." Thanks. Yes, I can see how that would work. If I actually do it. People-pleasing is hard to break.

[@jonideschane32]

@mvbigmagic4048 "can we try this/ that another way, I have a different idea."

[@edgelordpepper]

I had tell myself to stop being a martyr for these jerks. The first time you say these words to a narcissist will feel like breathing fresh air. You’ll never look back once to take the first step.

[@katieliaciddo5656]

I completely agree! I was on/off for years with a narcissist who would come around when he wanted to and I just went with it because I didn't want to upset him.🙄 I lost myself in the process. I'm so much stronger now but also more educated on narcissistic abuse than I was then thanks to a lot of therapy and helpful videos like this. Holding my own boundaries where I intended to keep them was, and always has been very difficult, but you can do it!! Just remember though, when you finally stand your ground with a narcissist they will likely continue to try to overstep that boundary. If they are still unsuccessful in making you fold then they will likely discard you. But that's when you are free and the healing can begin. ❤

[@almafely8040]

When I read "the happy birthday test" I thought it might be you could spot a narcissist when it's time to sing happy birthday to someone, they'll leave the room because they can't stand when someone else is getting the attention, especially if it's someone they've been "devaluing". Like my son-in-law towards my daughter, he stayed in the bedroom while the rest of us sand to his wife! (Such toxic behavior. 😢) They're going through divorce now.

[@KevinHackworth]

@@almafely8040 I was thinking the same thing. I think that’s actually a better test. Tricking someone into a “test” is not cool especially when there’s an underlying assumption. If you use the phrase given ur gonna get a negative reaction from the other person because they will assume ur accusing them of being hurtful. They will then try to explain themselves and be deemed a narcissist. It’s essentially labeling someone because of the way they respond to an accusation. Men will typically respond to an implied/overt accusation with an explanation of their actual intent either if they’re a narcissist or not. I think using the reaction to singing it for someone else might be more useful. I don’t think “tests” are appropriate. I Judge actions not words. Just my personal opinion. Great comment.

[@SFayeLewis]

Some people don't celebrate birthdays.

[@almafely8040]

@SFayeLewis yes, but this person had no problem when it came time to sing to him in his birthday.

[@rightaboutnao]

I've watched other psychology videos about NPD's being obsessed about their own birthdays, so I though it was gonna be something about that

[@vickyrun8796]

Me too. I kept waiting for her to explain their behavior on someone else's birthday. 😂

[@iwantcheesypuffs]

I was very disillusioned and a bit shocked to find out my spouse of more than 20 years is a tried and true narcissist. The poster child for narcissistic behavior. Thank you for the guidance in this video. You cannot imagine the pure RAGE with the first two questions when I asked them. "Why do you feel it is acceptable to speak to me this way?" Simple question. Pure RAGE for 30+ minutes. Thank you for helping me find the answers I suspected, but never knew how to confirm. Oh! That glare .... you hit it spot on.

[@knan75]

@@iwantcheesypuffs - I once asked my husband why he spoke to me in such a critical, demeaning way, and he had a short, simple answer…. because you deserve it.

[@Shirley-w8k]

@@knan75@iwantcheesypuffs I am so sorry you folks deal with narcissists 😣 May you find the peace and love you deserve

[@purgatorypoptart]

I used to try to maneuver around narcissists in my life. But at some point, you get tired. It's very freeing when you simply do one step. And that is to remove yourself from their life and focus on yours. ❤

[@Victor-q9]

Thankyou for inspiration...I'm praying can't wait....I'm doing as well ...ur words r encouraging

[@helioteran756]

Did that with. Friend of 25 yrs. He got extremely rude with me on the phone one day and I paused and said “take care of yourself”…that was 6 yrs ago, never spoke a word to him again and not going to

[@lauragood8564]

I went to a church for over 30 years with a narcissist pastor-it took a really long time for me to figure it out & even longer for my husband to figure it out also. I’m in a healthy church now but what a crazy confusing experience! I think so called”Christian” narcissists are the worst & hardest to identify possibly.

[@susannakotoff7095]

yes happened to us too, my sil is a covert religious narc who loves to play games and get people mad. Never is accountable or resolve. They act like they re being persecuted, they cause all the chaos. Then give their side in a bible speech directed at us. So Immature and entitled. Can no longer go church together with the wolves in sheeps clothing. Her husband is enabler and narc as well. Everything is about image and so competitive with everything

[@sandranodine1151]

The old wolf in sheep’s clothing scenario.

[@qwertytypwrtr720]

@@lauragood8564 Not such a thing as a "healthy church". Likely it's the same situation in a different scenario.

[@Leannot35]

@ Laura geez you're not kidding with that one

[@hepzirose]

You are absolutely correct. Christian narcissists are the worsts

[@samueljanderson]

Well, the moment I was gaslighted, I removed myself completely from their lives-PERIOD! I blocked every possible way to contact me. Since that moment, everything has turned for the better, and everyone I am working with and associating with is much happier, too. I gave this person every opportunity to do right and it happened again and that was it. The final chapter was written by this person and I closed it forever. God answered my prayer. My song: Don't Stop Believing.

[@melissaculpepper7663]

Same here! Praise God for freedom!!!

[@Vgaf99]

same

[@maiaallman4635]

Congratulations!

[@dgh5223]

Our ex pastor is a controlling narcissist. He was pastor only 3 years at my church. About 9 people left because of him. We been to the church 22 years!! That’s ok. I think it was Gods way of getting us out of there to do something else. The pastor will get his just reward.

[@INCYTER]

It's extra infuriating to hear this about a religious leader. He ought to know better. He will be judged more severely by the Lord. It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.

[@no-namecrown5510]

@@dgh5223 if you need a man to connect you with god, then you have a big problem. Church is for the fools.

[@rea7203]

It's not ok if a pastor of a church is a controlling narcissist because so many people are influenced by a pastor and a lot of times if there are baby Christians who don't know the word of God may be hurt badly

[@s.lew.2040]

I was just in a similar situation about a week ago with my best friend of over 40 years. He made a simple request of me and I said no thanks I'm good. I got yelled at, told to shut up, called petty. He told me that I would accuse him of gaslighting. I put in my ear buds and started singing in the car when I insisted he take me home, so he blasted the stereo. I guess he was mad I wouldn't argue with him. But he told me to shut up, so I did.😂 He has been told he should be a pastor because he is so kind hearted to others. He's a Dr. Jeckyll Mr. Hyde. Haven't spoken to him in over a week. Praying for strength. He'll never change. He's ALWAYS right.

[@chrisnixon9752]

He actually sounds like a pastor so they may be right. Rules for thee but not for me. When you're "called by God" you get to play by different rules than the regulars. And they'll pay him for it. Great response on your part well done!

[@julieaskingforafriend]

That's called being a covert narcissist. These people are amazing to the world at large, but absolute shits to one specific person.

[@yolandazach]

I asked my husband how he could continually hurt someone he's supposed to love, his answer, i never said i was in love with you, I've never loved you.😮

[@ladyllf48]

Thats what they say, I'll be praying for you.

[@ashton1952]

@yolanda They get a kick out of causing pain, just close yourself off, (in the sense of building a wall inside you, against that nonsense), because you can see straight through him and he looks like a bunch of broken eggshells inside, with nothing to offer you, nothing to give (just don't tell him that, they go into a rage) our peace of mind is important. The true pain and reality of the situation is that there is nothing we can do to help them; they are like that inside, broken shells, and that's why they behave like they do. Only God can save them out of that if they allow Him, it's beyond us, and not for us to do.

[@davesdoitallservice]

Nailed it!

[@margarita5155]

@@yolandazach so what will you do about it ?

[@margareth1504]

I think this type could only dream of the ability to love anyone. Pretends they have loved, did love, do love, and it is copying, a role play, they saw or read how another expressed love. Saving their empty feelings being exposed by fooling you. They dont love.

[@froggacuda1605]

All true. You are not allowed to ever win and you are not allowed to ever break even. You are only allowed to lose. It sucks. The "Christian" narcissist is arguably the worst. They will destroy everything: your life, your self-worth, your sense of self, your relationships, your walk with the Lord, and your sanity

[@sergeantfury785]

I took a break from watching any of these kinds of videos to seek God and what is actually happening. In that time I had one question: "Why is our life together ONLY about what she wants?". Then I come here after a few months and I hear "the question". "It seems like you are only focused on your needs and not mine, is that intentional?" See how that is the SAME question but just phrased differently? THANK you! Mostly, THANK GOD for the timing! Otherwise I could not believe this.

[@jdoveyk9422]

@@sergeantfury785 your question is a yes or no answer and “the question” in the video requires an explanation. That’s the main difference. A narcissist will gladly answer a yes or no and probably lie but when they have to explain you are going to really see what is driving the behavior.

[@sergeantfury785]

@@jdoveyk9422 Then what response should I look for from an honest heart that says: "I didn't know you felt that way?" I know a narc would say that and probably explain "why" I need a therapist and act like they have it all together, but what would a genuine heart say after they found out how I felt. I mean, I COULD be seeing things incorrectly.

[@froggacuda1605]

@@sergeantfury785 people who aren't narcissists are sad and even distressed when they realize that they have inadvertently hurt another person. Although It's human nature to initially react defensively when challenged, the difference with a narcissist is that they NEVER think any deeper beyond that they are right and you are wrong. Normal people will think over what you said and want to make amends or at least want to understand your concerns. A narcissist will always be enraged when challenged and punish you (in either the near term and/or long tern) for having the audacity to challenge them. A narcissist will NEVER sincerely say, "I'm sorry"; some narcissists may say the words but only to use it as a short-term manipulation tactic. Has your wife ever apologized, meant it, and changed her behavior? Does your wife respect your property and treat it with care? Does your wife do regular acts of kindness for you with cheerfulness and no obvious expectation of getting something back from it? Does your wife value your opinion and allow you to disagree with her without getting upset and angry? If so, she probably isn't a narcissist

[@sergeantfury785]

@@froggacuda1605 No, I am ALWAYS the bad guy. It is ALWAYS my fault in a roundabout way......

[@imFatman81]

The narcissist tells that many lies they can't keep up with what they've said.

[@brendaflax2173]

This is so true of my husband!!! I thank God for Kris teaching about Narcissist!

[@officialjordanmurphy]

THIS IS TRUE

[@maxsheerin8219]

But we are not thick and we know their lies. So when we stay around liars. Its our own fault, not theirs.

[@judyfreeman5193]

Also they don't care if you notice

[@salauerman7082]

“Why do you expect me to prioritize your needs over my own, even when it hurts me?” 🎶 - another great question!

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

@jackilynpyzocha662 1 second ago Dad ignored my boundaries my last birthday, he was late and did not have a reason or apology for being late; he was entitled (he thought) to do this and I am not allowed to complain. He's a tyrant. I am 60, and don't live with him; he's a jerk. Reply

[@greywolf850]

These people are everywhere… it’s scary and makes being single EASY

[@jdsheleg8332]

One thing has nothing to do with the other. Sounds like an excuse for your inability to connect with the right people.

[@lostintexas699]

@jdsheleg8332 No, they are everywhere. And it has everything to do with relationships.

[@greywolf850]

@jd Shhh …. No one asked you

[@birgittabirgersdatter8082]

@@greywolf850 actually, you made a public statement on a platform that enables people to respond to your comment. Essentially, you did ask for jd’s response. You just didn’t like it, which is ok. Being nasty about it is not ok.

[@WaterlooExpat]

@@jdsheleg8332 greywolf is right.

[@breathoflifeacres939]

A few years ago I blocked my entire family from calling or messaging me. I closed me social media accounts. I wish I had been able to do what you are talking about. I am just so overwhelmed with the problems in our relationships and there is no changing them. If you have a decent family be grateful and do what you can to make your relationships healthy. You have no idea how blessed you are. Many of us would love to have good families 😢

[@plutotoad203]

@@breathoflifeacres939 There's nothing wrong with just disappearing from toxic people. I think that way you don't have distractions, when you work for yourself and only yourself, good things can happen.

[@davidgold5961]

You can create a family based on friendships. You do not have to have any relationship with your biological family members. If it is unhealthy for you, find new friends that can be called family.

[@jeanjaz]

Psalm 68 He sets the lonely into families.

[@lazersly]

You and me both.

[@brooklyn6653]

Totally understand. In the same boat. And deleting all social media is a Must because otherwise they stalk and harass through it. God bless you, our families may be sick and warped but we have a perfect Father in heaven who sees us breaking free and is proid of us 🙏

[@lou5109]

Just got out of a 30 yr marriage to one... I finally had to walk away from it ... thru time I setup everything into an an/or on all titles to home an vehicles ... an I finally had to throw a hissy fit and leave. Alot of my affairs have been handed to one of my daughters to control so she can't do anything to them... I'm now giving her the silent treatment... I'm working with my daughters to try and get the rest of my belongings.. my soon to be ex wife didn't even pay attention to what I was doing while separating my important stuff from hers.. I told her that I was just consolidateding our stuff... but i was preparing for my way to leave the situation... I was isolated from my friends and family for way too long... I was made to quit jobs that I was advancing in.. she had accused me of affairs with my fellow employees and that if I didn't do anything about it she would cause a scene... now at the age of 54.. I'm having to start my life all over again... it's a rough time... she's still throwing lures into the water to see if I'll bite... I still haven't responded to anything she's thrown at me for the past 6mths.. I'm a broken person now... hopefully I'll be able to heal soon... I'm leary to associate with anyone at the moment.. my new job has been great help... some of my new fellow employees have given me the courage to stand up and on my own 2 feet... but it's still going to take time... thank you for allowing me to share my story... 😊

[@SunshineCatwoman]

I'm glad you escaped. If you never feel able to have another relationship, remember that that's okay, too. You're free to be completely yourself now. Take your time, and make sure your "picker" is fixed before you get into a long-term relationship with anyone else.

[@LadiboiJoy]

@@lou5109 blessings and peace ✌️

[@billjudge6021]

Good for you. My only advice is to develop a prayer life. You may already do that. Its a very good sign that you are staying close to your kids. You probably feel very vulnerable now. That's why i recommend a prayer life. God bless you and help you on your journey.

[@susandickerson2663]

My step mom gave me excellent advice right after my divorce. Get comfortable w yourself before dating. Be able to go places and do things solo. Then you are not looking in desperation but in peace for a new companion

[@kims2963]

You are not alone. It does seem it takes so long to get out. Reading yours helped me know that it is okay. We are going in the right direction. Freedom and peace will be worth it. Blessings in your journey.

[@mr.e8432]

You made an interesting observation there. Whenever I have a disagreement with my wife. The first thing she does is go to “I’m gonna cry like a 10-year-old”, which I fully understand is just a manipulation tactic. But the other thing she does, which I never really picked up on until watching this is she’ll use the line “Well, if that’s what you think about me!” or “it’s nice to know finally what you really think about me.” When I think back she’s used that line, or a variation of it quite a bit and it usually stops the conversation cold because I don’t know where to go from there. No, that’s not what I think of you, you’re missing the entire point of what I’m trying to say. But now I realize, she’s probably not missing the point of what I’m saying, she’s just intentionally trying to stop the conversation because it’s not going in her direction. 🤔

[@carboniignacious2607]

Been there and felt that. I call this tactic "Spin and Pin". You can never resolve anything with them because they own nothing!

[@Portia1416]

My husband does this. He proceeds with repeating whatever it is he thinks I think about him, over and over and uses it, to continue to justify his abuse. For instance, if I say, “you’re being cruel”, he will continue in his cruelty and end each statement with, “ because I’m cruel”. Over and over and over. And he will increase the cruelty of his words each time. And use my characterization of him to up his abuse. His way of punishing me for calling him out on his behavior.

[@Jcremo]

@@Portia1416 my husband does this too. It’s completely disarming. 😔

[@ElegantHamster-d7s]

@@mr.e8432 Since that's a passive aggressive line, just ignore it. It contains no information. It's purely manipulative.

[@kaythegardener]

​Could you try to switch the words around?? "I feel ___ when X is done, I need a cooling off period just now." Then move your body out of range!! @@Portia1416

[@RubeeRoja]

Completely blanking out and singing Happy Birthday in my head is it going to be the most amazing gray rock strategy I've ever used.

[@2dogs1tale81]

This was so helpful that I severed a 23 year friendship finally. I kept smoothing things over and trying to make peace because he had pushed everyone who ever tried to care about him out of his life including his own family. This friend would constantly say "I love you unconditionally" then end the friendship for trivial arguments because he was trying to control me. Little things like if I didn't like a comic strip he was working on because it had sexually explicit content. He would lose his mind because I didn't agree with him, even if I was measured and sensitive about rejecting the content by saying things like, "I don't personally like this version." In fact I tried not to comment when he sent it so he sent it 50 times (not exaggerating) and when I finally said, "I didn't say anything because I didn't want to offend you, but I really don't like this picture." One day he misunderstood something I said and blew up screaming at me on the phone then hung up before I could explain. When I emailed him that I never meant it "that way" he said as per usual, "We're done!" That day was different than all the other days for 23 years, because this time I let him walk away and said, "Okay." He regrets it now, but I figure if he hasn't changed in 23 years he will never change. So, I stumbled upon your videos and came to the conclusion that he is most certainly a narcissist. Thank you. From now on I will avoid having these people in my life. The freedom and relief of ridding myself of this toxic person has been invaluable.

[@alfredotomato2016]

wow you describe one of my ex's to a T! glad we got away from them. they were determined to make us "the bad guy." dudeman had very few moments of lucidity where he realized what he was doing wrong... but he was always so QUICK to do a 180 on that and make me into the bad guy again. i was scared to let him go in the end mostly because of how i knew hed treat me if i actually kept avoiding him. he left crazy screaming voicemails saying hes going to kill himself. its been almost a decade and im so glad i cut the ties. how brainwashed i was that i had been afraid of how he'd badmouth me! like really... hanging onto someone like that out of fear of being abused. i never thought id end up in that position, and im glad its over, happy for you as well.

[@AndrewBlucher]

Well done to both of you. It's not easy to work out this stuff on your own.

[@ateachableheart2649]

I've recently learned the best way to handle this. I typically say "I'll get back to you on that" or "let's talk about that later", or "I'd like to table that for now". Works wonders!!! They tend to forget what it was they wanted to badger you about. Problem solved!!!

[@thisorthat7626]

Interesting. This typically doesn't work on narcs as they have memories like elephants, and will bring up something you said or did years before to berate you over. It is a good plan for dealing with most people though. Cheers.

[@glendabreece9767]

You are so real, you know exactly everything about a narcissist! I wish I had learned all this when I was younger ,

[@SteveHartmanVideos]

This is some of the best advice I’ve heard in all the years of researching narcissists. Thank you for this.

[@debbiev.1311]

I'm singing "Happy Birthday to ME"...this is so helpful & I'm very grateful!! 🎉🙏🏼🕊

[@tml721]

I just got done dealing with a NARC. YES all she did was lie. She was a mean drunk and a thief. IF she ever comes back I'm calling the cops.

[@childoftheking2214]

I have been on the edge of suicide the last few years due in part to narcissistic people in my life. 😢

[@Kris_Reece]

I'm so sorry to hear that. We pray that your faith sustains you and that you allow our Lord to guide you into a new season. 💕 He can be trusted when all others let you down.

[@rubycorman469]

@@childoftheking2214 I'm so sorry you're feeling that way . I pray that you would cling to Jesus in your darkest moments and that He would bring healthypeople into your life. 🫂💕🙏🇨🇦🍁

[@Sharlene-x4q]

Know that they are demon lead and don't give them your power. They can't bring you down and keep you there without you allowing it. Don't argue or try to explain, just agree that that's how they feel and know that it's not how you feel and sing your birthday song in your head.

[@ashton1952]

@ childoftheking Jesus is in your heart and life, say the scripture out loud whenever you are feeling troubled ''You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world” (1 John 4:4).

[@hopelives7469]

There IS hope and a way out, you will make it and benefit from the incredible advantages your experiences have given you. Jerry Wise is a great help as is Jesus.

[@nardo218]

Hey, Kris, I did it, I said 'no' to a N coming into my life. And I feel really bad. But I still did it. It was someoen who wanted me to catsit, who I knew through an activity I'm part of but hadn't personally met. When I met him, the meeting was pretty unpleasant and his red flags were flying like a christmas sleigh parade. I also saw that moment when he decided I wasn't cool anymore and he instantly disliked me, but he still expected me to schlep to his house and take care of his cats (no mention of compensation even for the uber rides). So I told him that I'm sorry but I'm not available to watch your cats. I did offer to help the other catsitters if there was a need, but only bc it was short notice. I just didn't want to be involved with this person who clearly was toxic and had already decided not to like me. (there are many details re: red flags that I'm leaving out for the sake of everyone's privacy) So I just wanted to say thank you for your clear commnication and explanation about N behavior, what's normal in a realtionship and what isn't, and how to respond andshut down Ns when they are being manipulative and inappropriate. I'm starting to do that more, and i'm finding that it makes people treat me better. I'm hearing "i'm sorry' and "please" and "thank you" from people who used to used take me for granted and never used those words.

[@joem13yearsago73]

@@nardo218 a N? ⛹🏿‍♂️

[@deepaligupta9753]

The best part is , that for every episode of his rage , he holds me responsible

[@JiHu-d8c]

@@deepaligupta9753 I hope you stay safe, and find a way to escape. I escaped, and it wasn’t easy. But it was worth it.

[@edgelordpepper]

That’s what I call a master manipulator. GET AWAY as soon as you can. Your life depends on it.

[@ashtonisaacs]

@@deepaligupta9753 same here

[@Xianne027]

"That snake-like stare..." Yes, I've seen this even at the very beginning of the acquaintanceship sometimes, a sort of sinister smirk like they're sizing you up... like they're thinking "Ha! Gotcha! And you think you can trust me! Hee, hee, hee..."

[@cicin9313]

Unfortunately, I know exactly the look you are talking about. I rarely use the word "gleeful" but their eyes look gleeful in a sinister way. Its scarier than if they just looked mad.

[@Xianne027]

@cicin9313 "gleeful"! Exactly! Then you know exactly what I mean! Like a maleficent character in a fairy tale sizing up their next unsuspecting victim.

[@Esperandoonoivo]

Guys, never realized this until this moment. Their pleasure is not for getting what they want, but for bending us to their will.

[@cicin9313]

@@Esperandoonoivo Exactly! It's like all those little seeds they planted finally comes to fruition & they can't hide the giddiness. All the times they got you to tell them something personal (ammo), all the times they had to pretend to care when they didn't, all the times they secretly haaaated you due to their own insufficiency --- and here they come to their prize moment of all their work: manipulate & destroy mode. They savor it, like someone licking their plate & their fingers after a juicy meal.

[@Xianne027]

@Esperandoonoivo Ah! Well said! I never thought of it that way...

[@johnguill6129]

I'm a retired Corrections Captain from a state prison. Security employees receive training on mental health issues every year. Although I retired eight years ago, these topics still fascinate me. The ways incarcerated felons (and occasionally fellow employees) think and behave will sometimes give little clues about themselves. Good information here. I'll have to watch more.

[@Paul2024t]

I have been trying to set boundaries with my mother for about 6 years now to protect my wife and myself and now our child. It always devolves into a screaming match and the last time a couple months ago she asked why I was so cold to her and I told her that I feel no love from her and within seconds she said she was ashamed of me. Pretty much confirmed my feeling of being unloved by my mother. The previous time she was in my house she threated legal action against me because I was not a hard core democrat. Just a week ago she came to my house uninvited thinking that we were not home and parked in our driveway. I don't know what her full intentions were but I can bet they were not good. So I told her to get off my property and I will call the police if she comes back. I have said repeatedly that I will cut her out of my life but my wife who is a people pleaser always wants to give her another shot. This time I am puting my foot down and there will be no contact for a long time to make her feel the damage she has caused. Is this the right move?

[@alysong5568]

@@Paul2024t Absolutely the right move. She clearly has no intention of creating a warm and healthy extended family environment for your children, much less you. She WILL NOT feel the damage she has caused by you going no contact. It is important you understand this. In fact, she will probably go around to any who will listen about how horrible and abusive you are for doing this to her. You are also not obligated to explain to ANYONE why you decided to go no contact. You are going no contact for YOU, for your children, for your family. For the ability to build a healthy life and teach your kids about healthy relationships and boundaries.

[@elainesmith5313]

Great suggestions Kris! My favorite is to repeat the Serenity Prayer until the moment passes. The blank start also is a game changer, it a different kind of silence. It's calm, not contemptuous, just a complete nothing reaction. The silence becomes deafening for the disrespectful person. Great video! Thank you!❤

[@SunshineCatwoman]

Yes, most people cannot stand silence during a conversation. Make sure the narcissist is the one to break that silence first.

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

Yes. I will keep repeating it until I am over the narcissist. Dad doesn't care about(hardly) me, unless it is at his convenience and that he can lie about being a great dad, he barely bothers. I won't back him up. I am 60 and don't live with him, he is oppressive. I am done with his b.s.!

[@carly106]

Kris, your videos are brilliant and comforting. Thank you for your inspiring work. All glory to God. He has used you well. 🙏🏼💗

[@Kris_Reece]

Thank you. I'm so glad they're blessing you

[@TaylerKnox]

Watching ‘Christians’ over the decades has left me feeling like very few Christians have read the Gospel. God doesn’t care about the Monopoly money we accumulate in this game. In the end it meant nothing from the very inception. This is clearly stated over and over and over again. Yet we fail and worship the accumulation of wealth and admire those who have the biggest stack of belongings.

[@AlfredaJones-ei2bs]

I have never thought about Christian narcissists before. Until I watched this video this took me back to the movie Jim Jones when he was a narcissist when the believers trusted him so you have to be careful who you trust that you are not following a cult because there are a lot of church cults out there Amen 🙏🙏🙏.

[@juliewitt1411]

Oh, there are plenty of those creatures. A pity. 😈

[@timewilltell5476]

😊

[@melissaculpepper7663]

All of us are fallen! Being a follower of Christ doesn’t guarantee we never have blind spots in our lives where we need the Holy Spirit to transform us by renewing our mind.

[@Xianne027]

@@AlfredaJones-ei2bs Yes, narcissism abounds in all religions and spiritual groups. They are the ones who are "holier than thou."

[@Xianne027]

...and David Koresh in Waco, Texas.

[@jeanmariedenning62]

When I remind my husband when caught in the act of lies , I have said ,” You do realize you can’t lie your way out of hell , quite the opposite!”

[@RoxanneR8375]

@@jeanmariedenning62 You can lie your way in, but you can't lie your way out!

[@Harleylovinchelley1]

This really good advice. Be warned, if you manage to make it clear you will no longer be used by that narcissist, they may become vindictive. Since you no longer allow being used they will have resentment toward you. So they might start a whispering campaign against you, convincing others you have a problem.

[@kaythegardener]

Some respond with physical or financial abuse to you or your children!! Get good legal advice first. You are in a long term campaign to free yourself, not just a battle or two!!

[@wheatORweed]

I got silence for 24 hours then he was the victim saying something crumbled inside him when I called out his lying. He’d been lying for 36 years! I finally understood he was a covert narcissist, but I didn’t tell him that. I just listed a few of the lies from over the years.

[@ashton1952]

After they realize they've been seen thorough and unmasked, they go nuts: rage tantrums, screaming fits etc

[@julianneh.1768]

Ugh... This is my mother...

[@patriciarose2342]

Some do. Others are silent treatment. Never again for me. Unfortunately I have to put myself first, after God now. And others don't like that.

[@restoration2713]

I used to ask my now ex husband (after 42 years) “ why can’t you just treat me like you treat strangers?, you are. nice to strangers.” His response was, “because you’re my wife”. Now 3 years out I see how messed up that was especially for a “man of God” to say. God has blessed me and my adult sons tremendously since my leaving. I pray that my ex husband will one day truly come to know the Love of God and be able to walk in a way that reflects His character.

[@sumadaniel]

I just asked the exact same question to my husband today...exact same answer

[@almafely8040]

@@restoration2713 Amen. I am praying this for my ex son-in-law. I will pray for your husband to be born again

[@laurenharper1510]

Reading about David and the narcissist Saul in the Bible helped me survive my cruel narcissist “minister” husband.

[@jill3330]

@@laurenharper1510 can you please tell me where to find this in the Bible?

[@lynndurbin9476]

I think the best lesson I learned lately again is when you are in a friendship with a narcissist, now long distance over the phone, your worth to the narcissist diminishes so when you refuse to go along with their wants and you refuse with explanation...they ghost you. Done. Over on the part of the narcissist. Rejection may hurt but it's a relief not to be pulled in the opposite direction you want to go anyway, especially since it wasn't the first time. I also followed up by sending articles and information on becoming the Christian family man as leader and courses online and groups. Totally ignored. Last thing texted was, "I'll be praying for you." And I do. But no more contact, or self applied mind games of questioning myself like, "maybe I was making it out to be more than it really was," or "maybe there wasn't a real friendship or one with hidden stipulations."

[@VickiBowers]

This is great! The Happy Birthday is a great technique. Reminds me of something an old salesman told me once - "Tell 'em your product and shut up. The next one who talks takes it home with 'em," a technique I've used many times since then.

[@Pp4Gd]

When someone ask me why are you like that, you have problems, etc blame everything on me… I now respond with if you don’t like how God made me take it up with Him. Usually they don’t have a response and the conversation ends. As soon as I can go to God and pray for them. God doesn’t want us to relive it over and over, so in prayer… forgive them, bless them and release them. You may have to do it a lot it or just a few times. God loves us all and wants us all to be redeemed to Him. I like the idea of singing Happy Birthday in my head when I need that moment.

[@prairiegirl8977]

I like your response. But narcissists will not hesitate to say the same thing. My narcissistic mother uses the exact same line, but for a very different reason… tells us to take it up with God if we don’t like the person she is and the way she treats us. And just like that, she’s effectively ‘shut down’ all opposition from her 9 adult children and their spouses, and she feels like she has a green light to keep on hurting and manipulating. I’ve come to the place where I absolutely refuse to enable this ungodly behaviour anymore. I’ll be her daughter, but I’m done being vulnerable around her. It’s not worth losing my peace.

[@szlatnik]

I want to point something out. I'm not sure that just because someone gets irritated when they don't understand your boundaries, that that makes them a narcissist. FOR ME, I STRUGGLE when someone's boundaries don't make sense to me. IF someone sets a boundary that I understand, I never fight it- I'm content that someone set a boundary, and I always am respectful in that situation. Where I run into trouble, is when the boundary makes no sense to me. It's just the way I'm wired. I don't think the fact I am this way means I'm a narcissist, which someone might believe watching the above video. I'm learning that if at all possible, I need to accept boundaries even if they make no logical sense whatsoever to me, but... it's hard. I SUSPECT my autism might be playing into this, though I'm not sure exactly why "why" is so important to me. But FOR ME, the world is driven by "whys" and if I don't understand "why," I hate it, for any situation

[@duanefoster1196]

I'm not autistic, but I also need to know the "whys". If the why doesn't make sense to me, I have trouble with the what. If the why makes sense to me, I can usually get on board with the what even if I don't agree.

[@mcahunatv3590]

Yes, I agree with this. A sensitive empathetic person may be concerned when another suddenly sets a boundary that wasn't there before. This isn't because they have lost control, but because they worry they may have done something to upset or offend the boundary setter, so understandably want to talk more about it to try and resolve any issues. Being met by a stony silence from the boundary setter may just exacerbate the anxiety and paranoia of the sensitive person. And ....maybe its just me but singing Happy Birthday in your head whilst studying the reactions of the person beside you actually seems quite cold and manipulative. I don't trust this advice at all.

[@username00009]

This is the comment thread I was looking for. I understand that making algorithm-friendly videos can be challenging but the video seems somewhat irresponsible in its oversimplification. I would love a follow up to spot the differences between a narc and an autistic in context of using the tactics taught in this video - especially because the differences can be nuanced and confusing. Case in point - there’s someone in my life who I think is autistic, and another person thinks the first person is a narc. Knowing the difference can significantly change how we approach the relationship going forward (ending it isn’t really a valid option for reasons I won’t go into).

[@juelzm149]

@@szlatnik Respectfully, boundaries absolutely do not require your understanding for compliance. Period. However this doesn't make you a narcissist, definitely have to take everything into consideration as she said.

[@szlatnik]

@@juelzm149 Yeah, I hear you. It's a personal issue that I don't expect everyone to understand. All the same, I don't know that it hurts to at least TRY to give some kind of explanation. Sometimes people can't? But if someone is dealing with someone like me, it doesn't hurt. Sometimes the reason is deeply personal and it is awkward to share? Other times it's just because the person with the boundary can't stand even the slightest amount of discomfort, is uber sensitive and has a million such boundaries, and is therefore just a difficult person to be friends with. If it sounds odd for me to say this, well... I was friends with someone like this. Anyhow, I hear you, and I'm working on my issue

[@stylist62]

Thank God When you can break free from them, they are never satisfied, drain the life out of you Thank you for these videos they have been a huge help in my healing journey

[@OfSoulAndSin]

Never satisfied Drain your life Check and check😢

[@DoloresJNurss]

A trick that Christian narcissists in particular use to justify their rude or cruel behavior is to say that they're just doing it for your own good. The difference, though, between tough love and narcissistic abuse is literally love. There is nothing edifying about telling you that you are a worthless waste of air--there's no hope in that, no promise of redemption, no grief for your sake, nothing of a Christian nature. When a humble Christian rebukes sin, she tells you that things could be better, you have more possibilities, and Jesus loves you and wants to help. Narcissists just want to shove you down so that they can feel taller.

[@markhatfield5621]

'Lie to you for your own good' is a practice used by Jehovahs Witnesses. They will deny it but it is in writing in one of the publications on how to convert people. I read it.

[@DoloresJNurss]

@@markhatfield5621 Indeed. Lies serve only the Prince of Lies, not the God who created Reality.

[@peat_dont_repeat]

My song is.( He's got the whole world in His Hands). Please , when we call out lies. Know this it is calling out so many more lies that it becomes survival for them.

[@Kris_Reece]

Oooh, I like that one! too long for a thumbnail, but great song! 😂

[@PeriwinklePotter]

👑👑👑

[@Pp4Gd]

That is a great song and so true!! Glad you said something and I pray that when God puts before you someone who needs an to hear that you tell them or sing this to them.

[@peat_dont_repeat]

@@Pp4Gd I appreciate your prayer. Praise the Lord for people like you!

[@novembermiss]

I've seen a number of very good videos about dealing with narcissists. This is the best one I've watched. Really good explanation of the warped mind of a narcissist and great advice on how to deal with one. Thank you for this!

[@marypalmer1027]

After spending 13 years married to an emotionally and physically abusive narcissist, I will never place myself under the authority of a husband. Unfortunately, the Church gives these husbands a blank check to ride rough shod over their wives and family with one word, SUBMIT. With this, it dismisses the other commands about loving your neighbor as yourself or serving God with love and humility. " Oh Lord, what do you require of me but to love mercy, and to do justly, and walk humbly with my God" Micah 6:8

[@alvinhickling6118]

The church does not give any body any thing GOD gives the rule's ! if your husband is abusing you leave him and remain married ! But Knowhat you are talking about !

[@rebeccasnell2953]

The church tends to forget about the bit where it says, " Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church..."

[@alvinhickling6118]

@@rebeccasnell2953 sounds like you would be happier with out the church why dont you leave.

[@osowers6755]

First of all, it was you and not the church nor God that married the wrong man. Second of all, it was you that did not leave when abused. Third, you say you will never submit thereb stating you will not obey scripture and then proceed to quote scripture to tell the church you will disobey. I think the issue in all three cases is your obedience to truth.

[@alvinhickling6118]

@@osowers6755 Amen Brother !!!

[@erinwilliams1059]

My personal experience with Christians is that if you say no or disagree with them regardless of the subject, they put on this performative understanding routine. This is how they manipulate. They act as if they understand where you're coming from and want to listen, and show you how open and calm they are. Then they will hold onto your information to throw it back at you when it works for them. Sometimes, holding onto that info for years.

[@chrisnixon9752]

Bulls eye.

[@amandahopecampbell2602]

No group of human beings is a monolith. We should really avoid making blanket statements and generalizations about any group of people.

[@erinwilliams1059]

@amandahopecampbell2602 as someone who was never indoctrinated into anything and has remained so, though I don't like the word atheist, what I wrote above has been my life experience. I became aware of Christianity and its followers in junior high school. This was my experience then and still is today at 44. I've worked for people whose identity is heavily weighted in it, been in intimate relationships with them, and there have always been noticeable similar traits. I'll add to my comment above that they also are quite skilled at disassociating emotionally in a split second, most likely due to their ingrained faith or purposeful suspension of critical thinking.

[@amyteurlife9408]

They also lie by just making up stuff.

[@sagrammyfour]

I truly believe narcissism is the highest form of selfishness and cruelty, and therefore, straight from the pit of hell. They are the devil's own, even the ones in church who proclaim to be Christians.

[@home3330]

I found most male preachers to be narcissists, just talking their own unsubstantiated warped mind. Experiences with these questions has been that they won’t change. My life is too precious and short to engage with them, and if I have to HB 🥳🎈a thousand times! Thank you! My ‘go to’ question is ‘Is that what you think?’ And 99% answer has been ‘It’s THE truth’ , and that gives it away.

[@everydayisnew1831]

@@home3330 You might want to meditate more on the truth of that belief you just stated and ask the Lord about it. Ministers are humanly flawed like everyone else, but the disappointment you're experiencing is likely stemming from a different reason that is not narcissism.

[@Run4Ever77]

Does "what they think" match Scripture? If it does, then it IS the truth. Interesting that you specified most "male" preachers... Do you believe all Scripture is the word of God? May God bless you.

[@mirnacudiczgela1963]

My narcissistic mother's behaviour became even worse when I tried asking her similar questions.

[@kck9742]

The best way to deal with a narcissist is to not engage them at all if possible.

[@StrideOrDie71]

Mine started crying…”I’m sorry I’m such a TERRIBLE mother…” 😂

[@patriciarose2342]

Mine exactly. Anything serious with my mother is nasty insults, accusations, high pitched denials, sarcasm and the self pity of martyrdom. I used to be angry with my father for leaving but the longer I live, the more I understand. I married a narc too, when I was too young to know what narcissism was, or even dysfunctional relationships. But I divorced him, at least. Well done me.

[@mirnacudiczgela1963]

@@kck9742 Of course. I went no contact with my narcissistic mother.

[@willsagain]

That's classic DARVO tactics. Reverse Victim & Offender ​@StrideOrDie71

[@sherryab3964]

I just discovered this channel and so glad I did! Luckily, my parents were not narcissists and I’m not married to a narcissist. I have been effected by former friends and co-workers who are narcissists. My heart goes out to all of you who have or have had family members or partners who are narcissists. ❤

[@sonnysmom6017]

@@sherryab3964 affected

[@stephlau87]

Your new hair looks fantastic, so fresh and crisp! 👌

[@aprilmorrison9627]

Great tip!! and lets not forget how they seem to go out of there way to purposefully ruin your birthday....or forget it altogether. incredible....

[@tdhawk167]

Yup

[@patriciarose2342]

My Ex husband.

[@angeliqueguerra1631]

Going along with the birthday theme, I've always noticed that if someone disrespects your feelings about and on your birthday, that person is a narcissist. Examples include your mother never taking you to somewhere as cheap as McDonald's for a birthday meal when all you have at the time is her and a toddler in your life. Just that 15 minute meal to make you feel special is too much to give you. Or a boyfriend who argues about where to go to dinner on your "special" day, even if the place he wants to go costs the same. Or a boyfriend who is, unbeknownst to you, very allergic to the cats in your mom's house where you spent the evening b4 your birthday, then doesn't even call you or show up ON your birthday the next day. Or your "best friend of many years" knows you have trauma on that day every year which has jaded you, doesn't even call for hours after making plans to go get a birthday meal. My principal narcissist (my mother) passed away last April. We'll see if my trauma is lifted somewhat in January 2025.

[@elsesachse9117]

Narcissistisk people LOVES to spoil a birthday..😢😢😢

[@prayntongues]

My mother never said happy birthday, bake anything on my birthday nor my siblings but we always gave her cards and gifts. As a child I remember feeling sad, unwanted on my birthday, feeling jealous of how other children had parties. I felt like something was wrong with me. She belonged to different church groups. I remember as a teen I saw some gifts wrapped in pretty paper on the kitchen table. She told me they were for a lady at church who shared that she never received gifts or had a birthday cake growing up. All I could do was stare at her with my mouth open. I went to my room and cried. She could give a stranger birthday gifts yet couldn’t do it for me and my siblings? Even as we became adults we would all take her out to eat for her birthday. Of course she complained that it didn’t taste right, or too expensive. She’s gone now, but one thing I made sure to do was to make my kids birthdays fun and special. I learned how not to be like her by being a good mom and grandmother. I was bitter for many years but I have forgiven her. I love myself, have boundaries and no longer a people pleaser.

[@janetbrown8500]

Thank you! My mother will wait for a while & it seems that she is silent for a bit. However, she is brooding & eventually will call & talk or most times she likes to leave a nasty, snide remark that seems rehearsed & meant to put me in my place.

[@Mikesadventures-m2q]

I used to sit by a gal at my singles group and every guy she used to date was a narcissist. I never heard of the word till I sat by her. Then I realized she was the narcissist.

[@desertrat6373]

They made sure I'd be trapped. Oh dear God I'm trapped. I don't even know who I am anymore

[@tc1411]

Ohh, I'm so sorry to hear this. I have just gotten out of a narcissist friendship, & I can tell you, it's worth it!!! Do whatever you can to get out, you might have to start from the bottom to find yourself, but the bottom is still a place to start. Try to find resources that will help you (a local centre, community centre or something, anyone who will help, & MAKE SURE THEY DON'T FIND OUT). Where are you located?

[@melissaculpepper7663]

Jesus Christ came to set the captives free! Be found in Him and He will deliver you!

[@proverbialgirl]

You may have limited options, but you are not trapped. Hopelessness leads to death, so if you feel hopeless, you need help NOW. Call someone you trust, swallow your pride, and tell them EVERYTHING. Pray. Remember who God is, what He did for your spiritual and mental freedom. Pray to see the lies being used to bind you. Then do what animals do when trapped, what Aron Ralston did when physically trapped in a crater. . . cut off/out whatever is stopping you.

[@PBerning]

I pray that the Lord has a way out for you. 🙏 For now, I'm also in a difficult situation, but I found help through my Christian doctor and now I have a Christian counselor who specializes in NPD. I'm logging (So I don't unsee anymore, and go with a different narrative. This will also help me later on.) I'm learning all I can with podcasts like these. I'm reconnecting with friends and family and calling it self care time. My narc husband believes I need a lot of counseling these days, and I'm able to work with my therapist and use other time for "self care." He even went in and told them that I may have a brain tumor and I need a brain scan. 🤣🎥 This only helped my case and I need more time at the doctor's office and for counseling and self care. They gave me information for safehouses for me and our kids after he did that. I found with reconnecting with friends and family to be very helpful - they saw things I didn't, but they didn't say anything because they knew he would cut the relationship entirely. I also love reading my Bible, especially the Psalms which have every human emotion. I choose encouraging music, like Ian White and his Psalm songs. His "Something New" song is a theme song for me these days. After 25 years of marriage, I only figured out what was really happening a little over a month and a half ago. Like me, you are taking the first step(s), and it's okay to have baby steps. Careful planning and preparation under the radar are important. Learn how to gray rock. Remember all their accusations are projecting, and so you are learning that this is who they are - not you. 🎂🎵🎵📽 Some people have to stay. Some people are able to leave whether it's quickly or over time. Even if you have to stay for now, you are a person God has made and who God loves deeply. Whether or not you can express them, you are an individual person with individual thoughts. You have the right to believe something or not to believe something. I love to remember what Jesus says in Matthew 11: 28 “Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is comfortable, and My burden is light.” People with NPD create the wind and the waves to keep us unstable and focused on them. Their yoke becomes a trap, and their burden is very heavy. But nothing with God is impossible - NOTHING! I say this for you and for me. 🙏♥ We have every reason to hope in the LORD. "Be strong and let your heart take courage, All you who wait for the Lord." (Psalm 31:24)

[@78northwest80]

Thank you for this empowering message and information....I so appreciate your teaching on all of the topics you cover👍

[@Elemenohpea440]

Best way to not rise up and get angry with a narcissist? I’ve been saying to myself “this battle is not worth my immortal soul” Don’t let the narcissist lead you along the road to perdition! Follow CHRIST to HEAVEN instead!

[@lynnramreddi3244]

Absolutely agree with singing in your mind. It gives you so much peace. I sing a praise and worship song in my head,works every time.

[@daughteroftherisenking]

AMEN 🙏🏼🤍🦾

[@cooloften]

The narcissists I know will pretend they didn't hear me or understand me and make me repeat the question several times. No contact is the only thing that works with such vile creatures.

[@heatherpierro7266]

Praying for you and your family, Kris. Thank you for all of your help and asking The Lord to minister to you and yours in return.🙏🏼

[@robstubbs1176]

I served in a church for many years with a narcissistic Pastor. I was an Elder and in a position to see and personally experience his angry outbursts when things didn’t go his way. What a relief when my wife and I left. We’re in a much healthier church today and are very grateful for it.

[@Shanieceflordi]

Amazing video A month ago, my partnership of five years came to an end. The choice to break up with the person I love is something that really gets to me. Even though it's all for nothing, I've done everything I can to get him back, and I couldn't imagine my existence without him. I've tried everything to stop thinking about him, but I still can't help but miss him and think about him often. I don't know why I am saying this here.

[@Nancy2551-g6i]

Saying goodbye to someone you love is difficult; I know this from my 12-year relationship ending. But I was unable to simply let him go, so I made every effort to get him back. I eventually sought aid from a spiritual counselor, who was able to help me regain his affection.

[@Shanieceflordi]

It's interesting! How can I contact a spiritual counselor most efficiently, and how did you find one?

[@Nancy2551-g6i]

Father Obah Eze is a wonderful spiritual counselor who has the ability to bring back your ex.

[@Nancy2551-g6i]

He can assist you; he is Father Obah Eze, and he possesses immense powers.

[@Shanieceflordi]

I just sought him up online thanks to your helpful information. remarkable I just checked Father Obah Eze online, and he's really genuine. Thank you again ❤

[@Passionista916]

@Kris_Reece I am always blessed by your wise advice, thank you! ...and sidebar: your eye makeup is so beautiful! 🤩

[@JKE.JewelryLLC]

A narcissist is a child that never grew up. Adulting isn’t easy. They lack the skills and need you to do it for them. 3:26

[@DeadSeaScrollsReligion]

Not all boundary setting is done out of a good heart. People can set selfish boundaries. In a relationship, a couple is supposed to mutually love one another. If one spouse withholds love and affection for selfish reasons, the other spouse has a right to voice their disapproval. And to say they cannot, is itself a narcissitic trait. Never being willing to consider the other persons feelings and only caring about your own desires.

[@skulls.n.guns.2357]

Very true! If OP responds to your comment, _how_ she responds will reveal a lot about her.

[@ca-fl5he]

Sometimes, a person can set a boundary with a narc. But then they do their voodoo, and those in management dismiss legitimate concerns, which most people would get fired over. It sucks.

[@rosecalabrese2624]

"It seems you're only focused on your needs, and not mine. Is that intentional?" Answer, " It seems you're only focused on your needs, and not mine. Is that intentional?" Test failure.

[@brendarudman8806]

My sister is like this If you say no,she throws a tantrum from hell . "It's not about you! Pray for your sins in church on Sunday! The money's not going to take you to heaven! Youre going to get punished,you're selfish!"

[@KarenLeighMarais]

The guilt trip is a form of gaslighting.

[@brendarudman8806]

@@KarenLeighMarais It's emotional blackmailing ,trying to instill guilt into people because they set boundaries So unaware of self she is

[@teresaellis7062]

I wish I had this years ago with my struggle with a narcissist. I didn't know that she was a narcissist at the time. I don't think she knew what she was at the time. After I finally escaped the situation that kept her in my orbit (we were going to the same college) I labeled her an emotional vampire. She knew how to gather nice people around her to "help" her. I tried setting boundaries, but it was exhausting to keep them and I didn't have the tools you just gave me. After writing her a letter with all the reasons why I didn't want to be friends with her she showed it around. The looks of shock and pity I got were heartening and slightly amusing. She basically showed everyone around us all her toxic attributes I wrote about in my letter. Unfortunately, as I said, I couldn't avoid her and still go to college and she kept pestering me and nagging me until I finally gave up and said, "We are friends again," just to get her to stop as it was emotionally exhausting to keep saying no. I was able to keep her more at arm's length, but I made the mistake of going on a walk through the wooded areas of the college so she could "Bury the letter that almost destroyed our friendship," or some such garbage. As I said, she gathered nice people around her, me being one. After burying the torn up letter she picked up a long branch and started swinging at the underbrush and at trees. I thought she was just randoming swinging a branch around like I have seen children do, I didn't know to be wary. As soon as she worked herself up enough she spun and clocked me in the head. Thankfully, although a complete pacifist, adrenaline is a good preservation hormone and I was also a head taller than her. I managed to twist the branch out of her hands and put her in a headlock. A some later, on the edges of a woody section of the campus she picked up a branch and started hitting the underbrush. I immediately walked into the nearest building, the well occupied college library. She asked me why I left, acting all confused and hurt. I told her I didn't want to get hit again! She of course denied it, but I was careful never to be alone with her for quite some time. I am grateful I took a martial arts class during my time at college. I didn't know it, but it gave me tools to not be a complete pacifist, because some time later, the emotional vampire managed to follow me into an empty women's bathroom and took a swing at me. My new martial arts training kicked in and I actually punched her in the mouth with enough umph to split her lip. She never tried to physically dominate me again. Before I knew how toxic she was, I made the mistake of inviting her over to make bread and she also learned where my boyfriend lived. Sadly, it took me getting engaged for her to back off even more. She stopped trying to come to my fiance's house after angrily pounding on his front door. He came to the door and she told him, I kid you not, "You win. She belongs to you now."!! What!?! After college and marriage , I had the misfortune of bumping into her and she tried to "remind" me how we were best buds! Thankfully, she was at a Salvation Army collection bucket and couldn't follow me. I said "Merry Christmas." in response and kept walking. The next time I was with a group of people who she engaged in conversation and I literally backed away when she tried to engage me in the conversation also. The third time I saw her, she didn't see me and I hid behind a pillar until she walked past. Perhaps cowardly on my part, but she is THAT exhausting. I have since broken off the beginnings of friendships if I feel that same vibe I got from my emotional vampire "buddy".

[@rayzewiz8197]

@@teresaellis7062 dude that sounds like a movie and absolutely draining. Good job on getting away

[@Womenmatter2009]

If your partner asks you something and you say "I'm not ok with that", why isn't it ok to tell them why? If I really needed something from my partner and they said no I would at least expect them to explain to me why not. I'm not a narcissist!

[@lulu_9000]

@Womenmatter2009 I agree. I can envision asking follow up questions to make sure 1) I fully understand the boundary so I'm not accidentally trampling it in the future, and 2) there isn't some kind of compromise we could make that we're both comfortable with. Like, is the problem with the ask itself, or the just the date/time it needs to be done, for example. E.g., I'm happy to volunteer for certain events 75% of the year, but if the event is in Q4, I'm not killing myself to squeeze it in for your sake. But I know other people who have anxiety and wouldn't feel comfortable volunteering ever. And it's useful to know if a person is in camp A or camp B to determine if you should bother asking again in the future or just leave them off the request list entirely so they don't feel unnecessarily pressured.

[@kenp1013]

My mom, sisters, brother; all narcissists.

[@dragon13azalea]

I agree with this but I would add the grandiose/guilting/shaming response, "Of course I care about your needs! I'm your mother, I've been caring for your needs forever. Why would you even ask that? I just really need your help with this thing. Could you please help?"

[@salauerman7082]

“Can you answer why your version of the story contradicts what actually happened?” I hope I remember that!

[@tc1411]

This is gold!!

[@augol294]

Yes married to a “Christian” one for 26 years… 6 beautiful children….he also turned out to be gay. Watch out for wolves in sheep’s clothing. Because they really are wolves!

[@daughteroftherisenking]

Married to mine for almost 17 years with 5 children and one on the way. God bless you 🙏🏼🤍🦾

[@shingtome2179]

Oh my

[@annalynn9325]

A narcissist is like a burglar. They’re looking for the low-hanging fruit. These questions show them, you have self-respect and are not low-hanging fruit

[@CherylGormanAuthor]

I was raised by a narcissist and my grandmother lived with us for several years who was also a narcissist and the queen of passive aggressive. She wielded her passive aggressive behavior with a big stick of religion. They are gone now. Thank God!

[@lesleyM84]

a narcissistic bully who “acts” SO HOLY.. just popped up out of the hedges and was accompanied by my oldest friend from high school also SO HOLY.. just decimated the friendship..

[@computersciencemore8960]

"I cant agree to that" or "Im not ok with that" is powerful because its so much easier to say than "No"

[@bobbysingh2163]

Well if a Christian is a narcissist then they cannot be referred to as a Christian. True Christians are transformed in such a way that they don't rely on their self-righteousness. Their righteousness is based on the finished works of Jesus Christ that results in our salvation. Therefore they can claim to be Christians, but in reality they use the word Christianity just to put on the false appearance of self-righteousness.

[@OnlyOneTruth25]

@@bobbysingh2163 I agree with you completely. If they are truly a Christian they would be convicted by the Holy Spirit inside them and repent and seek change. This is probably for the “fake Christian “ who uses religion to guilt people into getting what they want I’m assuming.

[@carboniignacious2607]

1 John 1:6 "If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth"

[@bobbysingh2163]

@carboniignacious2607 Amen and Amen

[@bobbysingh2163]

@OnlyOneTruth25 Most definitely. The weaponize your Faith against you

[@bobbysingh2163]

@@OnlyOneTruth25 Amen. Very true