Rocks: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (Web Exclusive)

John Oliver discusses Kandiss Taylor, a prominent loser in the race for governor of Georgia, and fierce anti-rock activist.
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[@mdfilmguy]

A candidate driving around in a bus that says "Jesus, Guns, Babies" sounds like a Family Guy joke.

[@lizardog]

Taylor is a joke. Sadly, about 1/6 of the U.S. population votes for jokes.

[@rawx485]

It really does. I could see Peter getting caught up working for her while Brian follows them all around trying to prove Peter wrong.

[@GnarledStaff]

@@rawx485 And the stones would turn out to actually be satanic, right? So they'd have to team up with her to stop the threat. And the last scene is Peter abandoning her cause after the real threat is vanquished...

[@jiblitin1520]

@@lizardog I'd say it's closer to 1/4.

[@kuzmavolkov]

I bet her next slogan will be "Remember 9/11 terrorists for the Jesus babies and guns!"

[@owengette8089]

“with rocks, we must start with furries” “with furries we must start with the Georgia Primary” *straps seatbelt*

[@ZoanBlade90]

*Straps in as well* This is gonna be a ride, I can already tell.

[@theokkali467]

@@ZoanBlade90 Where is the part about furries? I know that he says the quote at the start.

[@djawesome3385]

This is gonna be a good one.

[@vinyl7764]

@@theokkali467 you get to the seven-minute mark, yet?

[@theokkali467]

@@vinyl7764 Gut there. Good art ngl.

[@rubymochicarlile7535]

“YOU PROMISED ME ROCKS GOD DAMNIT!” is exactly what I was thinking the first half 😂

[@FrankHeuvelman]

You want rocks? I'll give you rocks! kzbin.info/www/bejne/foCzqIuEe7pqpbc

[@winterbloomingroses7146]

gotta love how she lists guns before babys. reeeeeealy caring about the childrens' safety there Kandiss.

[@toughenupfluffy7294]

It doesn't say what she has planned for the babies.

[@Laecy]

I laughed at the order because it could be read as a particularly appalling sentence. Jesus guns babies. More at 11.

[@placeholderdoe]

@@Laecythat would be the “next up” joke at the end of an onion video. Would fit in right after the anteater researcher stiry

[@quitpayload]

Honestly I'm a little disappointed that this isn't just 17 minutes of John talking about his favorite types of rocks

[@derekstein6193]

I personally wanted to know what John thinks of igneous rocks. I think they hog the spotlight, ever the primadonna of geology. Metamorphic doesn't get enough love.

[@michaelmiller9107]

Ditto, I collect rocks so I was kinda excited to hear his thoughts on one of my favourite things

[@whiteraven181]

I thought it was going to be about specific types of gravel used for processing something that goes into a nuclear reactor, to be honest.

[@Karlach_]

@@derekstein6193 Facts bro, even crack rocks (my favorite rock) gets oddly left out of rock conversations and I was hoping John would talk about them

[@paleomagicksr.9880]

As an earth science teacher for >30 years, John had me hooked at the word, "Rocks." 😂😂😂

[@agentshawnee]

Her campaign strategy was literally a Buzzfeed article title turned into a whole campaign. Number 10 will shock you!

[@tmrevenge]

XD you bastard that was good

[@fenhen]

No 10 already shocked me with their heavy drinking and partying during lockdown.

[@danielcurren2119]

more like.... number 10 will rock you!

[@marshmallowdiptaco]

Here's your 666th like

[@intomnia3313]

@@danielcurren2119 sorry, stoned.

[@Hodoss]

As a European, this was a wild ride. Like visiting an alternate dimension of ridiculousness and insanity.

[@cruisepaige]

That’s definitely the US. I live half time each in the US and Europe and when I go to the US it’s always even more bizarre than the last time.

[@TARINunit9]

I'd like to remind you that the anti-vax movement started in Britain. The moment you think this can't happen to you, is the moment it happens to you; always stay on your guard

[@Hodoss]

@@TARINunit9 Uh oh. Gotta visit Stonehenge quick before it's destroyed.

[@jeffn9952]

​​@@cruisepaige"That's definitely the US. I live half time" -- Let me please stop you because you're literally describing the Dunning-Kruger effect. It should be mentioned for perspective that Kandiss received 3.4% of the vote in the Georgia Republican gubernatorial primary.

[@MsDrientje]

As a European im convinced the us isnt real.

[@Evaunit98]

The fact that John commissioned himself a fursona of himself as an otter is funny to me and being a furry myself I just love that

[@catboy6451]

John is a furry. You cannot change my mind

[@emilysmith2965]

Republicans: learn about furries ten years later than literally anyone on Tumblr Also Republicans: fail to appreciate that furries have had exactly zero effect on their lives in the time they didn’t know about them Conclusion: Republicans lack object permanence, and the only furry-adjacent being who can teach them this lesson is the Kool-Aid Man. (Drinksona.)

[@annaairahala9462]

I'm not a furry, but it was refreshing seeing someone embrace it rather than just make fun

[@Tonyhouse1168]

ChiJohn is my favorite thing ever

[@buddywriggles]

@evaunit98 THE FURRY DAYS ARE OVER WHEN I'M GOVERNOR. ILY the opening was just there

[@JAWNDOEmusic]

I *TRULY* respect the fact that they couldve titled this 'Satanic Cabal Stones' and lured everyone in but instead they sold us on 'rocks' and rewarded us with something far more entertaining - bravo...

[@vincentavangogh3636]

In my defense, only John Oliver could get my attention with a title like "rocks". You know the man is always going some interestingly hilarious place, so you pay attention.

[@himesilva]

Oh when I saw the 17 minute run time I knew I was in for a treat 😂

[@tedioussugar384]

I saw the word ‘rocks’ and I thought the punchline was going to be not talking about rocks for 17 minutes and them claiming at the end that she is ‘dumber than a bag of rocks.’ All that setup just to fuck with us.

[@bugdracula1662]

@@vincentavangogh3636 counterpoint, several people could get me interested with a video simply titled rocks, even those I don’t know

[@sluttyMapleSyrup]

I am mildly disappointed they didn't ever use the Roxanne But It's Just Rocks video

[@QueerCripple]

"Men with lipstick and beards in high heels" is basically our founding fathers. Just missing the wigs.

[@Maya_Pinion]

@martin stone .......when wives aren't home,and they keep lil bikini undies under those giant Marshal ( not Marshalls) 🤠 hats to fondle lovingly later,.....I heard......don't know if that's exactly the truth,BUT,that doesn't matter nowadays..😶

[@slaplapdog]

Noice!

[@monicaingram2970]

Wtw

[@dancepiglover]

Good point!

[@NotEnoughBooks]

Heels, the only shoes designed to keep you out of pools of blood.

[@norman_james455]

I love how the main recurring theme in these web exclusives is John basically telling us, his viewers, that “I’m trolling you,” “I’m going to explicitly and repeatedly tell you that I’m trolling you,” and “I’m going to continuously insult you for subjecting yourself to my trolling.” He is truly the master of his craft.❤😂

[@awillis2676]

Yes, it's hard to fight evil. But absolutely impossible to fight stupidity. And that's the scariest thing.

[@denverarnold6210]

That's why we may never outlive the effect of Trump.

[@IstasPumaNevada]

@@denverarnold6210 It's possible, it will just take a long while. Though it's important to note that Trump didn't start all this crap; he was only possible because the anti-intellectual, xenophobic, overton-window-shifting groundwork for all this has been being laid for decades, arguably over a century. If it wasn't Trump it would've been someone else. He just happened to be the person despicable and stupid enough to stand at the front at the right time.

[@klutterkicker]

Current incredible headline for Kandiss Taylor: "Trump loyalist who lost Georgia governor primary with just 3.4% of the vote is refusing to admit defeat"

[@jackadams3878]

" who lost Georgia governor primary with just 3.4% of the vote" the sad part is you could have left this part out and we could have all put the rest of it together before we were even finished reading it

[@1wildwackywoman]

Is it just me or when you see the word Kandiss, it reminds you of candy ass?

[@danitho]

🤣😂

[@jackadams3878]

@@1wildwackywoman "candy ass" i'm not sure if you did what you did on purpose...

[@kevinmcconnell9426]

If the thieves couldn’t get that 3.4% as well, how can they be trusted to run Georgia’s gubment?

[@katie-allen]

Honestly I’m a little disappointed that this didn’t end with John announcing that he had built his own Georgia Guidestones with “The Furry Days Are Over When I’m Governor” on them. He kind of let us down on this one

[@evanchartrand6663]

Alas, tis but a web exclusive

[@dzd2371]

I was waiting for it at the end... Am a bit disappointed as well.

[@TMS9918A]

I'm sure John looked into building it, but It probably wouldn't have been ready in time for the episode.

[@jmontign1]

I'd settle for a 40ft concrete rendition of his fursona on a discount plot of land they bought somewhere.

[@StephSunshineArtistry]

Right!? I was already thinking about people uncovering it in 10,000 years and trying to figure out what a furry is

[@inf0phreak]

I remember that snake bus! It was an advertisement for Copenhagen Zoo. Very impressive paint job to make a square(-ish) bus look like it's being squeezed by a giant python IMO :)

[@lisahenry20]

I was going to mention that. That snake bus looks amazing!

[@mdlampi]

If the Guidestones survived an apocalypse, they could be a modern version of a Rosetta Stone for future archeologists.

[@Lectrikfro]

Honestly with this show's track record, when he got to the end proposing someone build new-less racist guide stones, I was surprised John hadn't already commissioned them

[@KaladinVegapunk]

Haha have a big reveal at the end, totally. What's really shocking is they found out recently Georgia is actually predominantly a blue state, but because of shady districts, severely limited polling places that ends up with super long lines, and it's a felony to provide water or food while they wait, it's like the epitome of a minority of far right hicks twisting things to get a vote The anti trans panic and furry fear crap that isn't even related to kids they invent out of nowhere is so insane haha, invent imaginary fears and rabid evangelical crazy crap while denying serious issues like climate change to drum up support..these people would be out of touch in the 1800s

[@edwardchew5139]

I think it’s because it’s a web exclusive so no backing from HBO

[@smolneko9294]

​@@edwardchew5139 wait so the rocks don't have backing from hbo so *neither did the furry commission.* he bought that with his own money :)

[@proto303]

@@smolneko9294 honestly, I’d love to see the artist’s reaction to that message.

[@Dangic23]

I was waiting for John to reveal his own roadside attraction

[@sweetlorikeet]

Kandiss Taylor is an example of how it has become nearly impossible to tell if something is parody these days. I was so sure she was a fiction created by The Onion the first time I saw her.

[@lizardog]

I really hope she's talking from some Conservative Xtian script. If she really thinks the government should be guided by religion she needs to run for office in Iran.

[@415s30]

Jesus, babies, guns!! I can't believe we have to deal with these idiots.

[@daveroche6522]

Parody? YOU WISH! Simple test: if a candidate - ANY candidate - is as ugly on the inside as they are on the outside, they real...... (caveat: if they're Reptilian, they ugly on the inside anyway but tend to whisper their campaign message VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY LOUDLY.......). "THE BEAST IS YET TO COME (my invoice is in the mail)".....

[@johnkesich8696]

One can only hope that the 3.4% who voted for Taylor knew nothing about her except that she wasn't Kemp or Perdue - sadly, that's not very likely.

[@billermanthegreat]

Remember Greg Gutfeld has a comedy show.

[@fuzyfuzfuz2]

John Oliver is one of my favorite comedians! I never knew he was so good at mind reading though, because yes, I was thinking, "YOU PROMISED ME ROCKS!!! WHERE ARE MY ROCKS?" He's so brilliantly accurate ❤️

[@zeroisthebestalways]

John, I don't know what you have have to do to appease Daddy HBO, but we need a follow up web exclusive. She did it John...I can't believe she did.

[@zb3495]

Are the furry days over?

[@kiddo6393]

@@zb3495 I'll ask my furry friends

[@kamaucreque9566]

My younger brother is a furry. Walking into his room the morning after I saw this and yelled, "The Furry days are over when I am governor" was the funniest shit I could've done. We both fell on the floor laughing

[@noktilux4052]

I am Asian and my family would be humiliated if my brother was a furry.

[@kamaucreque9566]

@@noktilux4052 I'm black so it's not much better over here lmao

[@zenmasterorwhatever]

@God No I've had friends who were furries and I've learned a lot about them, they're a very misunderstood and publicly bullied fandom. Many people think it's inherently sexual but that's not true. There are no "rules" for being a furry other than being a big fan of anthropomorphic art. Everything else added onto that concept is what every individual joining the fandom makes of it for him/herself. Because of the ones who have made it sexual for themselves and have had the money to order or produce for themselves adult rated commissions from starving artists, and show off online, and because of online trolls, and bullies in the media seeking content to sensationalize for more views, it has the appearance of being predominately sexual when it's actually not. If you go to an actual furry meetup or convention, you will see what the furry fandom is about. Kids, families, people of all ages and professions, even doctors, lawyers and war veterans finding common ground in animalistic escapism and just being silly. Fursuits help people come out of their shells and fursuiters just love making people smile. At its core and it's very essence, furry is simply a beautiful and innocent thing and an incredible source of creativity.

[@cerebraldreams4738]

@@zenmasterorwhatever - In other words, people who enjoy dressing up like animal mascots. Makes sense. I could even see that being a thing back in the 1970s.

[@nebunecar]

@@cerebraldreams4738 a furry here; yeah, kinda. Those costumes cost thousands though, so not all of us can do that, mostly it's just art

[@ethanbell6762]

"The Furry Days are over when I'm Governor" is a level of hilarity on the level of "Don't Let transgender penguins fool you"

[@js66613]

Agreed.

[@at_oussama]

“it turns the frogs gay” comes close

[@greyjay5401]

@@at_oussama i mean the water WAS actually turning the frogs transgender cause of some chemical so he wasn't far off. alex jones is still a nutjob tho

[@demiurge2501]

@@Digital-2_4_6 which one?

[@Digital-2_4_6]

@@demiurge2501 kzbin.info/www/bejne/i5-2en-MjKl-gpo at 9:30

[@donaldpriola1807]

This segment is proof that this is one of the greatest f*cking television programs of all time.

[@adityavardhanjain]

I keep coming back to this piece. It's one of the best one John has ever done.

[@_Baku]

John Oliver may be the only man on the face of the planet to write off his furry art commission as a business expense.

[@sholem_bond]

I really want to know who got commissioned by Last Week Tonight to draw an official John Oliver fursona

[@CrunchyCrowe]

Objectively it is funny, but fun fact! - i actually do furry art as a business full time and I can write off commissions as part of my networking and advertising budget, and that's just me! There are surprisingly a lot of legit reasons to write off commissioning an artist as part of a business, no matter how furry the art is, so it happens more commonly than you might think!

[@seigeengine]

@@CrunchyCrowe I mean, people incorrectly doing their taxes is also extremely common.

[@someonerandom704]

@@CrunchyCrowe Just gotta say that the art you do is actually really important for longevity. Keep it up lol

[@edwarddeguzman3258]

Actually HBO is the one paying for it, and it’s they accountants that have to justify it John probably looked at the yearly production budget and saw he had an extra 1000 for it

[@Attikrow]

John Oliver sharing a commissioned art piece of his own fursona was certainly something I was not expecting to wake up to this Monday morning

[@gloriousexceptionalism2346]

With two members 😵‍💫😵 Really appreciate the novelty of the bit

[@monster-teeth5378]

Can you IMAGINE being that artist, getting commissioned by John Oliver to draw his Otter fursona 😂😂😂

[@Rattus-Norvegicus]

There's that word again, fursona. It's magical in that it just simply makes sense. 🤯

[@Nshadowtail]

The best part is, you just KNOW that's not the only picture of that character out there. Not because he commissioned more than one, but because there is going to be *a lot* of fanart of John Otterver.

[@cubsandculturemitch4250]

It was only a matter of time really. They have been building up to this a few times.

[@superPINEAPPLEmonkey]

This honestly might’ve been some of the best topic transitions I’ve seen.

[@AlexFord]

My god that string of puns and double entendres at the very end was hilarious and impressive. Well done script writers 😂

[@chuckinchina6926]

As a geology nut, the anticipation for rocks was unbearable

[@knutthecute]

Yeah, this was clickbait for us geologists!

[@brianamaro2850]

So true!

[@strayedarticle2838]

is your name Hank?

[@danielep.4076]

3:11 was very accurate, i WAS watching because i was promised rocks, goddamit

[@barrypizzdoff5579]

@@strayedarticle2838 THEY'RE MINERALS!!!

[@tonysax7464]

The cut when John starts counting to ten was fantastically done.

[@leahliddle324]

I like to imagine John just paused, explained the gag to the studio audience, and told them to laugh on 3 so that he could cut into the next bit.

[@amymason156]

@@leahliddle324 I like to imagine he just said after counting to one that he doesn't have time to count to ten and neither does the audience, so he's just going to say he did and move on while the editors deal with it.

[@gretebremseth1622]

@Titik Titik Go away bot!

[@thenation1575]

😂😂😂 I loved that

[@TooYoungToDie_TooOldToLive]

I came to the comments section looking for this. And if I didn’t see it, I would’ve made the comment. Good catch.

[@jamesappleman]

I think this topic needs to be revisited. These specific rocks seem to have been destroyed.

[@marcpeterson1092]

Was Kandiss the destroyer?

[@jpdemer5]

@@marcpeterson1092 "Kandiss the Destroyer" sounds like a character out of a comic book.

[@marcpeterson1092]

@@jpdemer5 Yep

[@josephstewart324]

Sadly enough, 3 weeks after Kandiss Owen's lost her Primary, "someone" planted explosions on the Georgia Guide Stones, and demolished them.

[@sophiamarquis]

Happily.

[@Bronxboyproductions]

Well, I’ll be damned. She really demolished the Georgia Guidestones.

[@FairlyCharmedonEtsy]

Here’s hoping her stupid arse is charged for it. Label her a co-conspirator or something.

[@csn583]

Yyyepp, that just happened. They were seriously disliked by the sort of people who express their grievances with IEDs. Jesus. Guns. Babies.

[@Sahri81]

This is what stupidity leads to. They got a conspiracy nutter as governor so this was bound to happen.

[@airbnbreviews693]

You should read the conspiracy-laden comments on those videos. Apparently its a sign of the end times, a false flag operation, done by lizard people, etc. This world is full of morons.

[@broken12smiles]

See this is why we can't have nice things.

[@jy3n2]

When I hear "no more furries in schools", my first thought isn't "they're getting rid of litter boxes", it's "they're getting rid of the football mascot." This might be because I have half a goddamn clue what furries are.

[@ontil68]

I thought the same dayum thing... Fkn nutters... 😂😂😂

[@darkshadowrule2952]

I was thinking little Lucy on her way to school wearing cute cat ear headphones only for Kandiss to smash through the wall like the Koolaid man with a hammer in one hand to smash the ears and an arrest warrant in the other

[@ontil68]

@@darkshadowrule2952 and don't forget they'll arrest her parents for being devil worshipers... 😏

[@darkshadowrule2952]

@@ontil68 charge the teachers for grooming, just for good measures

[@marcmielke]

The furries are the football mascot who gets much too in-character and sleeps in the suit.

[@marvwatkins7029]

"What they do do": very unitentionally a clever pun.😂

[@The987654321andy]

if only HBO had the budget for a few tons of granite to be placed somewhere lol.....

[@Jamandabop]

As somebody who goes to the school that the furry-panic was about, it was fucking hilarious watching how it went from an April Fool's joke down at the middle school to a hot-button political issue in a week.

[@gafls3151]

I think it's so sad that adults will jump to ridiculous conclusions and freak out and pontificate when all they have to do is ask kids why they are doing something. no wonder kids tend to think adults don't really care about them.

[@Isosyth]

@@gafls3151 But the freaking out is the point, why ruin perfectly good outrage with things like "reality"?

[@ct5625]

This is what Republican politics has boiled down to, though. I swear they spend 8 hours a day on conspiracy theory websites building their political policy from memes posted by 12 year olds. This is why so many Republicans appear to be clinically insane.

[@carnelianfox5010]

So they were the real April Fools?

[@valentintapata2268]

@@carnelianfox5010 Why limiting it only on April?

[@HM4Hill]

Watching a whole ass senator try to calmly explain a furry has got to be one of the funniest things I've ever seen

[@someonerandom704]

he's so wrong too lol, if someone tried to show him actual furry art I don't think he'd be able to eat for a week lol

[@Widdekuu91]

The furry community appreciates it when you distinguish the fetish-side and the cosplay-side though. I know two furries that are into cosplaying a furry for the fact that as a cat/dog, you're not a "sexy" human. Nobody sees your face or shape, but they respond to a friendly face. It's how they like to socialize. The sex-,part of the image of furries has damaged their social interaction. I am not a furry, but I do create cosplays and I know how much time goes into a costume. Sharing drawings of horny antropomorphic dogs is one thing, but believe me, a sexfantasy is not enough motivation to create a hyperrealistic wolfmask with expensive glass eyes and an automaticly waving tail and small ventilator for overheating. That's dedication coming from the love of the "fursona" (persona.) Their alter ego.

[@someonerandom704]

@@Widdekuu91 that's very true. Furries didn't even start as a fetish thing, just an art thing. Yes, fetishes play a big role, but it's not the heart of the movement.

[@SamWeltzin]

@@someonerandom704 Yeah, we're not really any hornier than anyone else. The bulk of the fandom comes from identity and the exploration thereof. The reason people think it's all about the sex stuff with us is because we're a very sex-positive community and far more willing to talk about/depict sex stuff than the average person, who tends to keep their weird-ass fantasies repressed. This open expression tends to freak out normies, so it gets more attention. Plus, a lot of the stuff we draw is really damn weird, so there's that too.

[@amandacrawford7340]

it is the most "oh hun" thing i have ever seen in my life!

[@SiRenfield]

Can confirm that “The Furry Days Are Over When I’m Governor” is really fun to say, recently sent that last image of the phrase carved in stone to a friend of mine who’s a furry as a WTF good morning message which he found hilarious but also went “Y’know what, it’s better if I have ZERO context” (he’s European and while somewhat politically aware, it’s not like he follows EVERY single American election)

[@laurenm3148]

That amazing throwaway joke - "That looks like how a cartoon snake would pronounces the word 'candies.'"

[@PinataFreaks]

Kandiss Taylor did indeed lose. And she immediately started claiming voter fraud and refused to concede.

[@its_w4yne]

Well that was unexpected...

[@fanasful]

@@its_w4yne tbh that is a very expected move.

[@tegantalks9612]

Like a true Trump follower lol

[@101m4n]

Yeah, that checks out 🙄

[@RSAgility]

This is the go to position now for politicians all over the world. After trump, the concept of satire or parody has been obliterated. Did you lose in anything...? Just claim & blame fraud, cheats, illegals, lie etc. with no evidence, clean your hands & you're good. The sheep will do the work for you. As long as you can tie up the system wasting time talking, the important stuff doesn't happen, and you will effectively do what you wanted, stop progress, anyway you can. Just keep "the conversation" going so no action is ever taken... ...and done, go home happy that you're literally draining the systems of money and time and effectively slowing down progress, so whenever it's your turn in power, you can say.... "see how 'they 'got nothing done!? but I will, I alone can fix things!" then the smart voices who are never heard say: "this isn't about sides But it was 'you' who made sure 'they' couldn't get anything done, good or bad, so what's with the brag? why brag that you were responsible (through action or inaction) for over thousands of deaths by stopping or slowing down the passing of say, an important medical bill or law that would save lives or help the poor? Why is blocking progress & human rights an achievement to the right? Religious beliefs tend to reverse everything.

[@rosebrandon0]

When Oliver started to pitch the "why don't you build your own granite monument..." I absolutely expected him to follow up with, "Which is why that's exactly what we did."

[@runed0s86]

Tune in next week for the granite monument I bet 😂

[@NarkySawtooth.]

It's a web segment and he already got the otter pic.

[@TonySidaway]

This is not a show, it's just John talking to us, so he doesn't have the budget to do real life stuff like he does on the show. Having said that, this was one of the greatest bits of TV that were not really TV. But it would have been better if he had referred to that great geologist, Maud Pie. kzbin.info/www/bejne/gZ_IfWt8rNudjNU

[@juzbunny]

Give him time!

[@ieradossantos]

Tune in right now

[@jamesopio4898]

I am a Geologist, and when I saw Rocks, I was invested. Still not disappointed though😂

[@davidlucas8487]

I marched into my roommate's bedroom and announced it was over for furries when I'm governor. It did not feel electric.

[@trentsage]

I'm honestly disappointed this didn't end with John announcing he had commissioned his own [state of his choice] guidestones in 7 different languages with ten vague commandments on them, with number ten being "The furry days are over when I'm governor."

[@Hotspur37]

I was thinking the same thing LoL

[@fizgig2016]

Give him a chance, likely it's in the works for the season finale.

[@TimestampsOFFICIAL123]

Atleast at the end of the day John asked US to create our own guidestones.

[@brittneyraeex3]

I don’t think web exclusive get the same budget as his regular episodes or I bet he would have

[@Mr3keestylee]

Yes, and I will be commissioning multiple fursona artworks of Adam Driver on the condition John is crowd-sourcing for 9 further suggestions 😀

[@scotts5308]

John : "We are off this week" and proceeds with a 17 min show. What dedication!

[@Swapna9]

Did John address uvalde shooting? I didn't see any episode on that

[@mangolassi_.]

@@Swapna9 It just happened and, as he says in this video, the show is currently off. So obviously he hasn't.

[@jasmineblocker103]

How can you take a week off when the jokes just write themselves?

[@waynefisher4327]

Rare form sir, rare form John. But they are making your job a bit easier.

[@marks99999]

Too early, the facts have not been developed, nor the conspiracy theories.

[@yskim2636]

I cannot believe Kandiss Taylor is a real person.

[@RobertMichael]

The snake candies bit was under appreciated

[@ratcrusher3251]

Whats really funny is that the entire "litterbox" thing comes from a teacher who wanted to see how gullible people were. Some teacher made up the entire thing and claimed to be "fired" on video, published it, and waited a while. She proceeded to admit that it was to test how quickly people would believe something like that, leading to a scarily good success on her believability.

[@PaladinGear15]

You could not pay me, or any furry I know to crap in a litterbox, it's never gonna happen! I'm sure there's some weirdo furries out there who would, hell I'm sure there's people fond of anime cat-eared girls have that exact fetish. But most of us are perfectly normal people who like cosplay and art. Not that I'm even fond of cosplay, but I do like the art xD

[@ratcrusher3251]

@@PaladinGear15 Yeah. I'm not a furry personally, but i'm friends with lots of them: They'd never do something wierd like that lmfao

[@mroberts566]

@Rat Crusher, is that true? If so, it’s hilarious.

[@snowwhite5842]

Shame on us then for believing what someone said. Where is the ministry of truth when you need them.

[@riiswaters]

Was it a white teacher?

[@PanzerYeena]

The funniest part about the whole furry outrage is the fact that some people evidently think that a fursuit is something any child can just casually afford. If a child is wearing a fursuit, you should be asking the parents some questions.

[@Ikajo]

Or they are the school mascot 🙃

[@kpepperl319]

Halloween

[@saylolcool]

just wanted to mention that the story was fake but you raise a good point. Those furry suits are hella expensive $$

[@PanzerYeena]

@@saylolcool Now imagine buying one every year since you're outgrowing them like crazy.

[@thomascattington1660]

I'm 55 years old. Ever since Ronnie Raygun got installed by huge amounts of dark money the same has been true of any fringe looney with $$$ and a crazy issue. Welfare queens that didn't exist. Every other sort of lie to get into office to serve the wealthy. Furries? I don't really care. That woman? Makes my skin crawl. Do I think she cares one bit about furries, guns, Jesus, or anything else but money and power. Strong no. She'll say anything to get power and wealth.

[@alagusankar9990]

"Damn it Marie. They're not rocks, they are MINERALS"

[@ghostlytavern129]

As a furry I literally crack up at the things old people come up with when they hear about us. First off I dress up as a fly sometimes to cope with severe ptsd it’s only slightly better than edibles. I love being a furry sometimes the community can be a huge hit or miss. So Kandiss, would you like to see me in my bunny fursuit or my fly fursuit?

[@npc6817]

I... never even considered the possibilty of fly furries... like I'm playing with the concept in my mind but I just can't find a way to anthropomorphize a fly. What the hell does your fly sona look like

[@louieo.blevinsmusic4197]

Do you dress up as a fly because it makes the world/yourself seem smaller? Maybe the fact flies don’t have time nor can think about anything that happened to them milliseconds before? Personally to deal with my PTSD I’ll get in small spaces. Like climb into a bathtub and close the curtain. I also started writing songs a few years back. Sorry that you’ve got PTSD. Mine had held me back for so long my brain broke for like a week once. 😂 After that I realized we only live once, sold all my shit, decided to write an album (soon to be finished), and will soon be traveling the states busking/playing small venues. Thought about train hopping but with a Martin…..yeah….no.

[@cruisepaige]

Old people INVENTED furries, hun.

[@shroomyk]

I have to admit I expected John to build his own granite astrological clock.

[@ForestRaptor]

I wonder how much it cost to make that original one vs how much it would cost to do one now... any experts?

[@northernnaysayer1240]

@@ForestRaptor hundred of thousands back in the day, millions today. Its expensive to get stone so large and perfectly tooled, shows the skills of a very skilled mason.

[@Peronioz]

Give him a few weeks, it's probably under production.

[@djchaiwallah]

He is welcome to do it here on my property in rural Georgia. There's zebras, camels, donkeys, llamas, buffalo, bison, and cattle on my road too as an added bonus.

[@tovekauppi1616]

Not for a web exclusive though.

[@joshyoerger5271]

"what they do do is" while talking about litter boxes is an underrated (and possibly unintentional) joke.

[@elissaraptor]

I thought the same and I assumed it was on purpose for those of us who would stop to go "heh, doodoo"

[@NinjaXchacha15]

I could smell a poo joke a mile away. 😏

[@ilarious5729]

Oh hey I wasn't sure I got that right cause I'm not a native English speaker and after reading your comment I'm truly proud of my English skills lol

[@coyote-bird1801]

As a geologist who is also a fan of John Oliver, this video was a rollercoaster

[@stevefilms1997]

I do definitely agree this is better than what he puts on TV. He really goes wild and it’s great.

[@shelbyherring92]

Rocks, Furries, and Georgia Republicans? I'm ready. *John's team commissioned a furry artist to draw him as a sexy 80s/90s dad otter?* Okay, I wasn't ready.

[@LexYeen]

I was. ( ͡ʘ ͜ʖ ͡ʘ)

[@snakeasylum7411]

Are you really surprised after he spent thousands of dollars on rat erotica?

[@mookinbabysealfurmittens]

Hbomberguy is going to be _so_ upset!

[@razorburn645]

Some artist on FA: I'm moving up in the world!

[@pollytix7271]

Gotta wonder if he never gets tired or embarrassed of appealing to all kinds of degenerates.

[@drawerganizer785]

John picked a species, came up with a fursona, and commissioned art. He now fits the definition of being a furry.

[@Faolan-qe9vl]

so he does :D

[@mb778_]

And with that, he lost any Republican watchers he had left. Doubt he had that many left at this point, but they're certainly gone now

[@whiteraven181]

@@mb778_ Don't underestimate the viewership of hate-watchers

[@richardsmith2719]

I don’t know if that cuts my respect for him in half, or quadruples it.

[@ernststravoblofeld]

He's famously been a bird.

[@cyberen]

They're minerals, Marie.

[@NettaWitDaHoops]

my family is from Elbert County. I am DELIGHTED by this.

[@Coretempest]

What will that biker do now? I'm concerned about his weekly energy absorption.

[@Karlach_]

Conservatives always find something that's "satanic" and "evil". I'm sure it won't take him long to find something else

[@jcsgodmother]

He has to find a new meaning to his life.

[@louhortonsculpture]

Me too!

[@strawbarry7834]

"Big ball of twine, I'm comin' for ya!"

[@pattheplanter]

Perhaps more energy leaks out of the broken bits?

[@kat-rau.]

I need these web exclusives to become increasingly more and more unhinged as John descends into madness.

[@LvGoddess89]

For sure; ABsoFuckinlutely!

[@grmpEqweer]

He's sort of descending into madness with our country... ... It's ok. It'll be okay.

[@k-popbiased1058]

I think you’re getting your wish

[@jorgegonzalez-larramendi5491]

sanity looks like madness in our Mirror Mirror purgatory planet

[@seattlegrrlie]

and more ferries (autocorrect rejected "furries" and I'm going to leave the change for the fun of it)

[@alanvatcher8374]

Thanks John and company!

[@denisemadigan1038]

I'm gonna name my next metal album, Jesus, Guns, Babys!😂❤

[@SidheKnight]

The joke about supply-side economics was excellent.

[@clumsiii]

googling econ - ohhh

[@Gobtik]

Though a far more amusing response to "no more fairy tales in schools" would be "so why do you want to put Jesus in schools"?

[@drchicken2477]

@@Gobtik I disagree. That's alright, but it's also kind of low effort. The economics joke is much better.

[@dannyarcher6370]

The world would be in much better shape if schools WERE actually teaching supply-side economics. Instead, we are saddled with Keynesian BS which is causing all the economic shit the world is going through right now.

[@SidheKnight]

​@@dannyarcher6370 The US is not a keynesian economy by any stretch. It's one of the most neoliberal countries in the world. Meanwhile, people in Western Europe and especially Scandinavia have a much better quality of life thanks to.. keynesian economics. Huh. Also: " _BS which is causing all the economic shit the world is going through right now_ " You know the great recession was caused by neoliberalism and the deregulation of the financial sector, right?

[@kathleenmccrory9883]

This was funny, but I could have gone my whole life without knowing Kandiss Taylor ever existed. Lol.

[@steemlenn8797]

Unfortunately I already know about her. I still haven't figured out what she thinkgs Jesus had to say about the usage of guns on babies though.

[@missgolgistain5801]

@@steemlenn8797 It's kinda funny how your politicians always mention Jesus and then continue to be total jerks.

[@jeffryphillipsburns]

@@steemlenn8797 Or what guns have to say about Jesus and babies, or babies have to say about Jesus and guns. Then there’s the question of whether this person knows what the word “babies” actually means. I suspect she is conflating babies and fetuses.

[@Mondfischli]

@@steemlenn8797 ...and I thought he was a carpenter 🤔

[@vincentavangogh3636]

Yeah, me too. I'm glad she didn't win though. She's obviously unhinged.

[@mikotomisaka8714]

Well.. John congrats.. somebody blew it up. XD

[@mikotomisaka8714]

GUYS!! NOW THEY ARE BLOWN UP THIS IS THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY!! We can replace them with the "Furry Days Are Over When I'm Governor" rocks now!!

[@GdoubleWB]

The Georgia Guidestones point to one of my favourite tropes about conspiracy theorists: How stupidly obvious they think the clues are. Like the woman that pointed out that "Delta Omicron" was an anagram for "Media Control", as if the Deep State was capable of controlling the fate of the world, but couldn't resist hiding the details of their plan in Sunday morning Word Jumbles.

[@kereminde]

It's like all villainous plots have to follow at least the same level of self-sabotage as the Riddler had to...

[@johncatty6560]

Yeah, the "chemtrail" believers point to the >40 year old "Stone Henge" of Georgia claiming "they" want to kill billions of humans by "spraying chemicals". When you point out that the population grew from approx. 4.5 billion then to almost 8 billion now, these nuts will call you "paid troll" :D

[@sonkeschmidt2027]

You have to understand that if you are under average in intelligence, then the world appears to be a very threatening place. Because then more than half the people in the world understand the world in more detail than you do. Just think about how you felt as a kid and then imagine how you still feel like that as an adult knowing that this feeling won't go away because you will not get any smarter in this life, only ever the other way round. So there are loads of people who you know can harm, trick and manipulate you to their will and you can't see it coming or prevent it, simply because they outsmart you. And I'm not talking about hawkings and Einsteins who you are never going to meet anyway, I'm talking about avarage people. And those exist in masses. Can you emphasize with how threatening the world must be for these people? Can you understand how obvious it is to see the whole population as controlled by invisible shadow man, as average people already act on a level of detail and complexity they can't comprehend? Think about how empowered they feel recognizing these simple patterns, finding a semblance of order in their anxiety ridden life and understand their level of cognitive abilities and how dependent it makes them. As I said, the curse of a child that will never grow up but not being mentally disabled enough to be unaware of that. Can you begin to understand just how afraid these people are? It feels very very uncomfortable to be at the wrong end of evolution. So what does the dog do when he is afraid? He barks and hopes there are other dogs who will come to bark with him so that he is not forgotten in the dark and eaten by the wolfs. Understand the responsibility you wield because you are probably one of those wolfes. You have real power over those people which you are unaware of. That's why they try to bark at you and make you afraid. But if you keep your distance you can see the little unloved and terrified child that is screaming at the wind.... I don't mean this as an insult but as a humbling acceptance of reality. They bark to make your afraid and therefore reactive. Don't let them pull you down and lower your intelligence. Win through understanding, you don't fear what you understand.

[@ct5625]

I personally love the Conspiracy Theorist belief that the Illuminati sends messages by placing symbols in music videos and Disney movies for weirdos on the Internet to see and "decode". You'd think an "all powerful" group of evil billionaires would be able to use email.

[@ZombieBarioth]

She was smart enough to recognize it as code, yet too full of it to realize its the Greek alphabet. It literally spells do. If there actually were a conspiracy these people just make the job easier.

[@Krypton_Risen]

Next week’s episode, “Papers” The week after episode, “Scissors”

[@Ikine557]

If they actually make that a running joke with the next web exclusive I will be so happy

[@jackadams3878]

followed by "Lizard" and "Spock"

[@JanterCyrano]

@@jackadams3878 we can only dream

[@LeeStJohn-ym4df]

Now THAT was very funny!

[@Rugelacharugula]

*FYI:* On July 6 2022, the guidestones were bombed in an act of vandalism, and local authorities removed what remained later that day.

[@user-cr6qv1bn2u]

Must be antifa

[@LerockJohn]

And this is why good writers are essentials for a good show!

[@jackfelder2560]

“I’m gonna talk about rocks, but I’m first gonna have to lay some significant groundwork.” I see what you did there…

[@yopueelin7300]

Oh, wow, I'm slow! Thanks for the enlightenment! 😅

[@Maya_Pinion]

He's a sly devil sometimes....

[@dare2liv_nlove]

"Ramp up". 😂

[@wildfire9280]

@@Maya_Pinion Otter, more like.

[@alextwt5901]

thank you john, for addressing the real hard hitting issues

[@Woozlewuzzleable]

Yeah, also furries and Air Bud.

[@arthurmartin4616]

Just don't take his enthusiasm for granite

[@user-fg3xw6wd6i]

Ba dum-tss

[@sofiadri2638]

I think he was very sharp

[@brandonayong5823]

I feel like this is a theme he is having this year. Recently he did " Airbud" ( one of his greatest) " Subway" And now " Rocks" 😂😂😂

[@jellef4704]

The Guidestone days are over

[@ebonstone2980]

I came for the Rocks. I stayed for the Rocks.

[@jasonthesnow]

“Must be able to survive cataclysmic events” Well that didn’t age wonderfully

[@rhyhaggen336]

I think it meant floods tornados hurricanes tremors that may occur in georgia, not bombs

[@Ozymandias1]

@@rhyhaggen336 It was built to survive a nuclear war

[@rhyhaggen336]

@@Ozymandias1 the fallout maybe, but not a nuclear explosion, this was no atomic bunker kinda thing, besides if you really think about it, large ordenance would bring this monument to pieces, but yeah i get ur point....

[@yuta5994]

@@Ozymandias1 the funny thing is that stone now blown up.. few hrs ago..

[@bethanyscarbrough3416]

Is it too late for him to get his money back?

[@TheAmazingphenomenon]

At the end I was expecting John to say "...and the reason I know this, is because we built our own functioning calendar in rural wherever and inscribed the teachings of our Lady of Perpetual Excemption on it".

[@NelsonDemifur]

Not on his week off. But it could always happen

[@jameshouck7462]

Great show. Knowledge is power and truth is the catalyst of the two!

[@generaljellyroll8737]

Destroying the guide stones is just book burning on a larger scale.

[@erikholmysti]

Only Jon Oliver can promise Rocks as a subject and totally get people to clap and cheer for it with honest excitement “you promised us Rocks!”

[@jamesbutler8821]

Who doesn't love rocks? They are the John Lennon of the Earth's quartet of rock, dirt, water and lava.

[@scottterry5927]

Not just rocks but specific rocks

[@wikidclownchris]

@@scottterry5927 I still have a rock that my little cousin gave me randomly when she was like 3-4 She came in my room and just handed me a rock

[@Ghalaghor_McAllistor]

And rocks we got.

[@hailonyourparade]

Been saying "The furry days are over when I'm governor!" every time I walk into a room. Sadly it took little time for my cats to realize I wasnt serious.

[@googiegress7459]

[ELECTRIC TRIMMER SOUNDS INTENSIFY]

[@placebojesus5652]

Furry days are here again

[@YukiKitty]

TwoSentenceHorror

[@FoodNerds]

😂😂😂😂

[@FoodNerds]

@@placebojesus5652 🎶🎶

[@KCStill]

Anyone else rewind around the 11:40 mark to make sure you didn't miss something? lol

[@joeschmoe3665]

They're not rocks Marie they're minerals!!

[@DavidJamesHenry]

Fun fact, in the 1970s Batman television show, every time Batman and Robin got into the Batmobile, a camera angle would show them buckling their bat-seatbelts. This was meant as a public educational tool to teach children the safety procedures they should follow before watching an episode of Last Week Tonight.

[@TheLemon333]

1966-68 btw

[@LexYeen]

@@TheLemon333 Shhhhh, I want to learn more about the timeline they came from!

[@AdrianColley]

Eugenics monoliths to power! Furries to speed!

[@imsmolandangery4274]

I love that kids TV shows can't have dangerous behaviour that could be imitated by children but if a kid can't do it it's fine, so you can fight gangsters and crime clowns but you buckle your seat belt first

[@danielbrant6740]

Seems funny that another Batman uses the complete opposite lesson of _"LIFE DOESN'T GIVE YOU SEAT BELTS!"_

[@Charlie-ss2ko]

As a geologist my heart fluttered when he said rocks, only to be disappointed when I found out it was about the Georgia Guidestones

[@jcsgodmother]

They whole thing ends with a bang.

[@sylvesteruchia5263]

Lol 😂. They gone now.

[@crinkly.love-stick]

I was disappointed, too. But let's be honest, he would've spent most of that time rambling on about gabbro being cooler than basalt, all while totally avoiding the fact that chalcedony blows everything else out of the water

[@eliasmg9144]

@@crinkly.love-stick an otter wrote this and is probably in love with John Oliver's fursona

[@larrysmith1966]

Getting mad about being tricked into watching a video about Georgia Republicans only to realize I am exactly the mark that this caper was designed for. Worth the click. 😂

[@SJxPVR]

The only man I can listen to for 45mins talk about rocks 🤣

[@OutdoorLonghair]

Holy smokes a 17 minute web exclusive! Thanks John and crew.

[@someone_one_one]

it would have been longer but no one needs to see a middle aged man count to ten!

[@mariobe3674]

*crew was off, I imagine for this holiday.

[@FaeiryneFaun]

John: We're off this week, but- Also John: *presents 20 minute segment*

[@mookinbabysealfurmittens]

DON'T QUESTION IT! HE'S TALKING ABOUT ROCKS! >:C

[@Keith-sh4lo]

@@mookinbabysealfurmittens If only he was talking about something else rock-like.

[@macaryl95]

17

[@mookinbabysealfurmittens]

@@Keith-sh4lo Yeahhh... "20" minutes was too long for you?

[@mediokay508]

This is what happens when you leave John Oliver unsupervised in the studio.

[@peetfaas1340]

the guy in the audience laughing🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@ErnestGaskin]

i wonder if the John Oliver effect makes things blow up now. and if so, if he would be so kind and do a piece about pipelines

[@louieo.blevinsmusic4197]

As well as Steven Crowder’s studio, Ben Shapiro’s studio, Tucker Carlson’s pants, every politician ever, Jordan Hare Stadium, (that one’s just for me) every Wal-Mart… Man, I could go on.

[@flamshiz]

I love how you can tell he's absolutely brimming with joy during the furry section

[@jknifgijdfui]

i still want a 17 minute episode of john talking about boulders and gravel

[@bwenluck9812]

If anyone could talk about boulders and gravel for 17 minutes (or longer even) it's John Oliver!!!!

[@Little_Lepus]

Especially if they're igneous rocks ♡

[@kitsunekage12]

after the Air Bud episode I was genuinely here for him giving me useless rock facts he knows for like 10min but this was pretty good too.

[@vaughnpardy2371]

WE WERE ROBBED, OLIVER!!! 😉

[@survivormary1126]

Haven't had a full belly laugh in a long time. Thanks John!

[@bunzguy6448]

woooo 10 mins in and finally get to hear about rocks!

[@nelethewitch]

As a german, I got instantly icky feels at the reproductive line. It was so weirdly specific, that I thought it might be racist/eugenics shit. And damnit, my gut feeling was right.

[@samwindmill8264]

Republikaner sind völlig verrückt

[@xdrowssap4456]

honestly the stones are pretty freaky

[@eemoogee160]

Overpopulation is giving the planet a more than icky feeling.

[@mitchmiecielica5017]

@@eemoogee160 you spelled capitalism wrong

[@joghurtodor4528]

Mismanagement of resources is a bit worse. Overpopulation is blaming the people and not the systems in place, like abundant food becoming food waste daily that would steadily feed countries or other unsustainable factors. It’s really interesting to delve into, if you ever have the time.

[@teststudent5091]

Lol I thought this would be about igneous, sedimentary, and metamorphic rock and my grade 6 knowledge would finally come in handy

[@TheDarkness1]

Naw, just a box of human rocks that run for power in the US Government. Par for the course.

[@scottbilger9294]

Who you callin' igneous?

[@Oberonjames]

My bet was on price fixing by the diamond industry

[@olive_garden8718]

Little did you know 😅

[@jessicazaytsoff1494]

I have as hoping to send this to my sibling, a geologist. Because rocks. But sadly, not enough rock content.

thanks for the great shows Oliver

[@Beechwoodhome]

I love John Oliver