Bernie Sanders Hints at Final Senate Term

[@evanjacob8463]

Bernie should have been a two term POTUS. He actually cares about the working class.

[@patrickryan7829]

We are the mirror universe. In the prime he was.

[@neonshadow5005]

In leaked audio, the head of the DNC told donors "Don't worry, we won't allow Bernie Sanders to become the nominee, ever." He wants to end government corruption and get money out of politics and those are not popular positions in the "Democratic" Party.

[@Gryzor88]

Which is exactly why the powers that be denied him.

[@carlinpugh566]

Thank Debbie Wasserman Schultz for that one.

[@CrabbyO]

👏🏼

[@caitymarie3975]

You’re Keeping me going, Seth! Thank you and the crew!

[@kellyroper5256]

Seth is so talented. His Improv skills alone are a national resource.

[@tystkanin9996]

Who uses the word "groceries"? Normal people, Don, normal people who shop for food use the word groceries. They have been doing it for decades.

[@MariaMartinez-researcher]

According to Merriam-Webster, the word has been used since 15th century...

[@djr3386]

2:44 Loved Seth's IT guy's voice. 😁

[@ejsshrink]

Coming to Seth as usual for reliable laughs, and ending up crying because the truth is surreal and horrifying.😭

[@mindikruse6938]

Only late night I can stomach right now.🤣🤗

[@KennethKlein-lc2mk]

🎉Yeah!🎉 I always enjoy opening KZbin and finding Seth at the top of the screen.

[@paulyricca3881]

👗⬅️ THIS YOURS?

[@sherinameless1618]

Kid Rock should have gotten the "Participation Although We Asked Him Not To" trophy.

[@paulyricca3881]

🥃👴🏻WEAR PAM ANDERSON AT????

[@juliaconnell]

agreed, though, hmm, - well maybe... I think that 'honour' belongs to Elon - (it's my only solace at the prospect of drumpf again .... I am looking forward to the, inevitable, day when drumpf & Elon are no longer BFF -)

[@paulyricca3881]

@@juliaconnell 😆PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY YEEEEEEHAAAAAAAW TRUMP WON 😆BWAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[@paulyricca3881]

@@juliaconnell 🥃👴🏻 REMEMBER WHEN DRINKING WAS SMART AND SOPHISTICATED AND NOT THE THING IT HAVE BECOME .

[@bsmeaker]

Who wants to bet Kymberly will be the first tell-all book for the new Drumpf administration??

[@sherinameless1618]

Ooh, I bet you're right! Now to speculate about the title; I'm gonna say "Driving That Train, High on Cocaine: My Life With Don Jr.".

[@matrisgallus6189]

Yea right, like books will be legal

[@nancychandler367]

With illustrations🍄

[@danielleN101]

Thank you Vermont, for years of Bernie!

[@barbarahering484]

When you are wealthy and you need a tax cut there is a word for it , it's called GREED !!!

[@shipwreck8847]

That's how Trump is going to fund the wealthy tax cut. The tariffs. He knew what tariffs were all along when people said he didn't understand them. Of course he knew what they were. When it comes to scheming and scamming he's not dumb, he turns into a genius. Back to the taxcut, that was his plan the entire time. You transfer money from everyone though a universal tax and that goes into a wealthy tax cut for the super rich. And 77 million bozo americans bought into it. Con man can only become powerful if dummies carry him to the finish line and that they did. They'll realize this in 2025.

[@Ninthofnine1969]

Nah...it's Groceries, but you probably haven't even heard of groceries as tRump just invented it😮

[@elliotbrent]

😂🤣🤣🤣​@@Ninthofnine1969

[@sherinameless1618]

Silly Seth, the escaped prisoner would never get a place in the Trump cabinet because he's not a white billionaire.

[@jessefowler2733]

To be fair, drumpf didn't know what groceries are until recently.

[@grizzlynad]

Like healthcare, “who knew it was so complicated?!”. 😜

[@johnbrown6189]

@@grizzlynad healthcare is not complicated.

[@grizzlynad]

@@johnbrown6189 I'm quoting Emperor Cheeto after his 2016 election 😜

[@patriciatoomingtheplantpar2558]

​@@johnbrown6189 that joke was an albatross for ya ehh? (You won't get☝🏼either)

[@unvergebeneid]

It's funny that Colbert and Meyers both did the Greece/grease joke.

[@gingergrant6759]

They often cover the same joke.

[@ConstantChaos1]

Sometimes the joke is just too obvious not to lol

[@paulyricca3881]

😆PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY YEEEEEEHAAAAAAAW TRUMP WON 😆 BWAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[@1028641]

​@@paulyricca3881What does that have to do with this post? Move on Billy Bob!

[@unvergebeneid]

@@1028641 he just wants to "trigger the libs" because that's what little children do to feel powerful when in real life they lack that feeling of agency. Just flag him for spam and move on.

[@NewMessage]

On the upside, somewhere out there is a Universe where the Quantum Computer joke killed.

[@MontyVerde]

Won’t Bernie be about 88 at the end of this term? As a Vermont resident, I would vote for Sanders again even if they had to do a “Weekend at Bernie’s” with him. Just roll his body out to the senate chamber for a vote. South Carolina did that with Strom Thurman for years.

[@tystkanin9996]

Oooh... what cabinet position is Kid Rock going to get? I can't wait for that announcement!

[@sherinameless1618]

He'll be in charge of the concept of the child care plan. After all, child care is child care.

[@vanessaadams3500]

The IT joke was the best...🤣😂🤭

[@RubyDoobieScoo]

"they call them groceries" *lists BLT ingredients*

[@shyft09]

what, I love a good groceries sandwich

[@Ironcorgi2]

The man fought the good fight. He should have been president, I don’t think we will see his like in the senate again for a long time

[@sherinameless1618]

So, who is the I.T. writer? I'm guessing Matt. But since you derided my guessing abilities so sharply, I don't dare even say that.

[@elizabethrue2372]

I think the joke was that it was the literal IT department.

[@sherinameless1618]

@elizabethrue2372 Seth wants to blame them, sure, but it was really one of his crack monologue writers who wrote that failed joke. And if Surprise Inspection has taught us nothing, I wouldn't be surprised.

[@rasmis]

Graphics are just trolling the Jackals. 8:15 “I've got a crippling addiction to button down shirts!” Graphics: Show photos of Seth's shirts, where only 3/8 are button down shirts.

[@gmun2248]

They are all button down shirts.

[@danieldib2286]

I’m so sure the actual IT guy sounds exactly like Seth’s impression. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@Elwaves2925]

Groceries prices will kinda go down for the mega rich. With Trump effectively saying he won't increase minimum wage, they won't have to pay their slav....I mean staff more to fetch them.

[@undefined40]

You got that "old saying" wrong. It is "If the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem looks like Loki."

[@paulyricca3881]

😆 PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY YEEEEEEHAAAAAAAW TRUMP WON 😆BWAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[@ImposterJones]

You been looking at those schmaga NFTs again?

[@moxielofton7679]

For Corrections: 'Quantum' is just referring to a discreet amount of energy (y'know, quanta, quantity quantitative). The idea of quantum computing has always been a buzzword; you might as well say you've invented a 'datum' computer.

[@sorenletore]

The way I said, "It didn't" as you flashed the board across the screen made me cackle.

[@LadyMoonboy]

In an ideal world Bernie would be completing his second term as president right now.😔

[@LittleTreeBlue]

The timing on the whiteboard was just chef’s kiss!

[@AussieDi_678]

G'day from Australia. I see you slipped in a rather distinct reference to people who watch and comment on Corrections. Nice and discreet there. Cheers. An old jackal.

[@BonkedByAScout]

Correction: A quantum chip is not a replacement for a traditional CPU and you can't play a video on one. They're going to be closer to accelerators that help some tasks than general-purpose processors that make everything faster.

[@deadpool569]

🤓

[@SamLowryDZ-015]

Still don't get how legally he can be sworn in when he has by his own admission disqualified himself by promising to pardon insurrectionists.

[@jonnyfendi2003]

Same way you snuck Kamala in without a second thought....

[@SamLowryDZ-015]

@@jonnyfendi2003 even as whataboutism - that was incoherent - is that you Donnie ?

[@jonnyfendi2003]

@@SamLowryDZ-015 yeah "orange man bad" boogieman..... YOU LOST, you lost big, deal with it.

[@JesseKearnsEverydayEveryman]

Is it just me or is this the funniest Monologue they’ve done in a while? Those were bangers and Seth delivered them.

[@stuartzoo]

The figuring 😂

[@sethsmith8638]

SAY HIS NAME!!! LUIGIIIIII!!!!!!

[@paulyricca3881]

🥃👴🏻 YES YES YES SAY HIS NAME LUIGI, LUIGI, LUIGI DATS MY SON MY YOUNGEST.

[@suplerb]

Um actually quantum computers have nothing to do with time travel so your IT guys are wrong, it does not track

[@sherinameless1618]

Are you saying that "Quantum Leap" wasn't a documentary?

[@danieldib2286]

Jackal alert 😂😂😂😂

[@puffthunder]

Maybe people are working longer because they can't afford to retire. I know I'll be working until I die and still be in debt.

[@Stoicisbetter]

How does a new department just pop into existence? Without any oversight? Wtf? No one elected Leon or Ramaswampy.

[@sherinameless1618]

They can only "advise," and make suggestions to Congress like "It would save a lot of money if we stopped the free e-filing that the IRS lets ordinary people do, and if we just let billionaires contribute whatever amount of taxes that they feel like."

[@Puschit1]

They'll just bully everyone. They tell you what to do and if you don't comply they'll put you on their "naughty list" which just means they are next on the chopping block to be replaced with the next best yes-man. Essentially fascism, but we all know that already, why do you keep asking, wasn't the past 8 years not enough to learn how Trump operates?

[@BabsKaz]

$$$

[@jessefowler2733]

World records have watered down their brand far too much. I should be in there for being the only person in the world with my social security number.

[@AlexFalkenberg]

Pay the $100 fee, and they'll give you whatever award you want.

[@shyft09]

why, what's your social security number?...

[@hellpoint7534]

Correction: Math in Bernie' s day was ' the gozintas'.😁

[@ricaard]

The whiteboard was the best.

[@lashendawest7509]

Good morning seth meyers fans

[@Studentspeaksout]

We need to raise taxes on the rich to pay down the debt incurred over the past 8 years. A huge amount of the Budget is going to pay interest on the loans we floated to keep Americans from falling into deep poverty during the pandemic.

[@MistyMoorsHomestead]

Daddy's got a crpling addiction to button down shirts... dead.

[@OscarSommerbo]

No, the quantum computer joke is why comedians should stay away from any technology more complex than a pencil.

[@ImposterJones]

The closest kid rock ever got to being a musician was when he made shots ring out at a case of but light.

[@paulyricca3881]

🥃👴🏻 DEN HE WENT 2 LINCOLN CENTER.

[@pepsiwepsi1952]

Happy Thursday!

[@yjwrangler7819]

Bernie just had such a great podcast with Jon Stewart. MAN did you guys miss out on a President who gives a sh*t

[@daynalein6865]

We are no longer living longer. Life expectancy is going down in America

[@redjacemory4404]

Please, don't call kid rock a musician. >:(

[@nannerz1994]

I don't think I can handle Bernie retiring so I don't want to hear it Seth

[@r00pea]

Sadly his brain is gonna be retiring whether or not he does, best to face reality

[@ProudPapaJD]

We’ll get exactly what we deserve over the next four years, though I’m not looking forward to it. Gonna be really hard not to say I told you so.

[@whattheflyingduck6878]

These Billionaires can solve the US Healthcare problem.........including Musk whos networth went 400 billion up.

[@alch3myau]

hey Luigi, have you met fElon the fraud?

[@ericcarlisle]

"Daddy's got a crippling addiction to button-down shirts." I wonder which writer lands the most Myers self deprecation jokes. 🤔

[@kitashay1987]

Lol he said who uses the word.... groceries

[@thepadonthepondbythescum]

Quantum humor is multidimensional...

[@sphe4047]

5:43 How do rockets go?😂😂😂

[@dafreedomfita]

That google joke killed

[@MaijaKarklins]

We need a new cabinet position. Secretary of Groceries.

[@MickeyStartraveller]

United States of FAFO

[@haldiskismul1551]

Based on the screen grab collage, it looks like you possibly own exactly 7 other shirts, in addition to the one you're wearing in this episode, tho'. Two of the eight examples are clearly the same shirt worn on different days...

[@PatriciaKeel-ig9ni]

I believe the wardrobe department provides the shirts he wears on the show.

[@trinity6993]

❤Seth

[@ether_sect]

Free Luigi.

[@matrisgallus6189]

And Mario

[@paulyricca3881]

🥃👴🏻 FREE WILLIE SUTTON

[@chrisdemarco-xs3xq]

Deport Luigi

[@paulyricca3881]

@@matrisgallus6189 👴🏻 AND P DIDDY

[@paulyricca3881]

@@matrisgallus6189 🥃👴🏻 AND HIS BROTHERS

[@DigitalChadLife]

For the IT joke that didn't work, have you tried turning it off and turning it back on again?

[@KenCrandall-ot7uv]

Term limits , get these old farts out ! 😂

[@gorak9000]

3:47 that sounds like a bird chirping. Do you have birds living in the rafters of the studio, like at a hardware store where they come in through the garden center?

[@CrabbyO]

He drained the swamp.... Now, it's easier for the monsters to eat the fish.🤦‍♂️

[@MsMak12356]

Oh no!! I'll always feel the Bern!! I don't blame him. It's a hard and thankless job. He should have gotten the presidency nomination. Hillary was okay; Bernie better. I'll be very sorry when he leaves.

[@sammyrc]

Hey Seth, your IT Guy sounds like Tim Cook :D

[@AlbPerNil]

Theo Von's podcast with Bernie genuinely changed my life, it made me realise how messed the healthcare system in the US is, and there needs to and there will be change.

[@sunderapps]

Maybe for corrections - obviously a faster computer wouldn’t be released before it was invented. Also there’s nothing quantum about the joke 😢 I would have gone with, “Google on Monday unveiled a new quantum computer, but it immediately became a regular computer after someone saw it.” The joke is about the observer effect, where a particle in superposition collapses into one state upon observation. And I’m just gonna add that an observation has nothing to do with human perception. Basically it’s just smacking the particle with a photon. Another alternative: “Google on Monday unveiled a new quantum computer. In related news, all of your banking accounts have been hacked.” That one’s barely a joke. We’re not there with quantum computing power yet, but when it happens our current encryption methods will be obsolete… hope the good guys come out with better encryption first…

[@yocean14]

I love this show. Don't need the stench of Mooney anywhere near it though. Please let him be forgotten.

[@bewmdogg]

Funny fact: people actually voted for Trump. Again.

[@kennyn1992]

Quantum joke writer forgot the live version would have an audience.

[@luqeprisecaru8507]

you tried so hard, Bernie, get some rest.

[@monicawallace-jn8tl]

Kimberly will fit in nicely with Greek’s ANCIENT, Tragedy and Comedy masks! (Sorry, someone had to point out this glaring 2-pun comment…)

[@travJ420]

Thank god

[@TheBizarrodragon]

This title filled me with so much stress - what will we do without Bernie fighting for us?!

[@JAllenKaiser]

If it weren’t for Citizens United, Bernie would’ve been president.

[@Stoicisbetter]

I hate Rupert Murdoch

[@RHCole]

Build us all a bridge and get over it already, we need y'all in the present and facing forward, not 8 years ago and facing back.

[@JAllenKaiser]

@@RHCole you institutional democrats are never ever going to get it, are you?

[@JAllenKaiser]

@@RHCole Citizens United was 2010, and no, we can’t move forward with that in the way.

[@blakecandesign9628]

America dropped the ball. Simple. I’m not surprised though, which is kinda sad.

[@tylerhendrix7550]

Is there a reason that this is the same "Closer Look" as yesterday?

[@SharonVlaar]

😂😂😂😂HAAAA thanks for the laughs Sharon from Ohio😂😂😂😂😂❤❤❤❤ Haaa the hamburger that grew up to be a garbage man😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@paulyricca3881]

🥃👴🏻NO REALLY WHAT IS THIS JUNK????

[@nevillehoward8736]

Yep. Gotta say "There's a trending Tweet that says...".

[@DanielJStromme]

I wonder if that's one of Elon's 20+ children on his shoulders, or someone else's kid all-together?!

[@sherinameless1618]

Maybe it's the child he offered to give to Taylor Swift, but she didn't want it.

[@monicawallace-jn8tl]

I just bought a big box of tide for about $22.94…. $22.94 - before the sales tax is added!!! About a month ago, it was about $3-$4 less. Guess where? The same monopoly that gave willfully obedience to #45 by ditching their DEI stance…. 😔 So, if the tariffs go thru’ and the packaging, chemicals, etc. in delivering this product, that factors into around $30 -31…. 😵‍💫

[@prudencemontague3600]

Thumbs up 👍🏻 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻💯💯💯❤️❤️

[@JamesSimmons-d1t]

Grosseries, the hole series.

[@twilightgardenspresentatio6384]

After the last decade, I’d have already given up caring about a sick nation that doesn’t want to heal Because that would look gay

[@kennyn1992]

Why do people keep using chopsticks for jobs more efficiently done with a knife and fork?

[@moonliteX]

bernie 4 president!

[@juliaconnell]

wait, what (what, wait...) Eddie Redmayne is here (there, ya know what I mean 🤯🥳 ) oh ok *ON* the show (soooo excited...) Eddie Redmayne as in Eddie Redmayne, as in *Day of the Jackal* 🦊as in Eddie Redmayne (red-mane, seeee, see - it's _HIM_ our KING 👑🦊👑) oh joy & happiness, the _'DAY of the JACKAL'_ has finally *arrived* 🥳🎉🤸🤸‍♂🦊🤸🤸‍♀🎉🥳- _at long last_ we Jackals can _finally_ resolve our many, varied, various grievances with Seth 🦊🦊🦊- oh joy at the mighty red-mane, our king, our hero! 👑🦊👑 (j.k. obviously, I just couldn't resist...) 🙃😉😂 & seriously Eddie is such an awesome guest, human being, person -😊

[@naylas3908]

No, Bernieieie!

[@TeeJayDeluxe]

Worried about the working class in America. Stand up to them. Protest!

[@patti21125150]

Yes, and now with your tariffs, we'll be lucky to afford them at all!!

[@paulyricca3881]

👴🏻🥃 FREE LUIGI

[@irinaphoenix2169]

YOU SAID that you didn't have ANYTHING TO DO WITH Day of the Jackal - LIAR!!

[@meganh4011]

😢 I looked at the title of the clip. All the people who actually care about us are leaving or dying. The new ones just wanna sell us crap

[@patokev3691]

Please don't make Trump your main source of jokes for 4 years. There is a lot of other material out there and he is not the driving force in your viewers lives. Thanks.