Accepting My Sexuality

[@queen_of_domination]

Hello all! I’m here to show respect to those struggling with their sexuality. I’ve lost two every important people in my life, as they were embarrassed about their sexuality. So, as a heterosexual woman, I am always out to look for videos to empower those struggling with themselves. I lost two cousins, who were both gay males, and they were like brothers to me. One cousin killed himself, as he grew tired of suppressing his sexuality. My other cousin died of HIV, as he lived a secret homosexual life while active in his church. Honestly, if it weren’t for these two men, I probably wouldn’t think of these issues. But, I’m glad to have had them in my lives, and are happy, as I can now support those that are gay. Gays, bisexuals, etc., know that you are loved....

[@introduceintroduction30]

what advice you think you would've given be by ur experience from ur cousins ,coz i have thoughts of killing my self but i know it's a sin according to the bible but don't worry I won't do that ,i just wanna be understand by everyone

[@spadrine]

I spent the majority of my teen years in the Apostolic church. They represented to me a feeling of true family, true relationship to God, and spirituality in its purest form. To say that I fell in love with the church would be an understatement. I spent almost every day at church and was very much involved in all of its many activities. While I knew deep down I was gay, I also hoped that God would "heal" or "deliver" me from it. As I grew older, I realized that the church folk weren't as loving as I thought them to be; the church shut down and I found out all the sordid activities that went on under my oblivious nose. Oddly enough, I don't regret the my time in the church; in fact, I wouldn't trade it for anything because it gave me my foundation of spirituality. But I realize that they were ignorant and blinded from really seeing the truth and I've made my peace with it. Thanks for sharing your story about self-acceptance and what a long & difficult road it can be.

[@rjcarter2904]

Religion is supposed to be all about love and acceptance and comforting people; but most of the time it's about hate, guilt and shame. Crazy....and the most traumatizing thing people experience.

[@leandrosilvagoncalves1939]

As Schopenhauer said "A man is free to do what he wills, but he cannot will what he wills" You decided to be true to your nature and you were extremely brave. Congratulations on your self-acceptance.

[@bakaushiyarimundesu]

Beard is on point!

[@alicia_nicole444]

I love watching your videos cause the you present yourself comes off very humble and I feel that you are truly sticking to being who you are now. I'm going through the process of accepting my sexuality and you give me hope. Thanks

[@dollface3005]

my girlfriend and I broke up because of all the hate/negativity we were receiving. I loved her, I still do! its sad to see people bashing other people for something as stupid and small as sexual orientation. I wonder who told people that you could choose who you like and want to be with. only my older sister knows but she is very against it but it's okay though, they'll accept me eventually!

[@marlonmalcolm1738]

mbali zibani Go back to your girl and love her.denied you for people love and acceptance will not change a thing, People will hate you regardless of who you are. I am gay and I live for me.

[@benw9949]

I am still unlearning / relearning and dealing with being gay, even though I've been out for a few years; and I'm still realizing, coming out is a continuous thing when you meet new friends and decide whether to come out to them. We've made progress since I grew up, only to see much of that progress trying to slip away lately. I spent too long in that closet and don't want the world to shove me back in. -- I grew up in a very religious family. I never thought I could talk to my parents about being gay, even when I first realized I was having gay feelings. I now think that if they ever knew, they never said anything that let me know they knew, and I think they chose not to see it because they didn't want it to be true, to face it. As I grew up, I realized there were a few things like that, despite that I had a loving family for the most part. I did not fully realize just how overly controlling my parents were, even though I knew some of it. The thing is, they thought they were doing the right thing. They weren't. I feel it permanently harmed my ability to make and keep relationships in subtle ways I still don't even know really. So I grew up with it not being OK at home or at (public) school or at church, for a boy like me to be gay, while at the same time, from elementary school on, I got called those names, bullied, etc., and I spent my teen years very conflicted about my gay feelings, questioning if God loved me, not able to accept myself, even while defending a few friends who were, like me, rumored to be gay. (Not physical defense, but I spoke up and stood up publicly.) If any guy friends liked me (in a gay way) I sure didn't know it. I think I was sending out a massive vibe of, scared, in denial, too conflicted, religious, gay and closeted, do not approach for that. Or possibly, any of my friends were just as messed up about it as I was. So I had pretty much no positive experiences, and very little "experimenting" and negative experiences that were either pretty bad or just bad enough to hamper me. In college, when I finally had to admit to myself that yes, I was gay, it wasn't going to change, I couldn't pray it away or be magically turned straight, I didn't deal with it well at all, and spiraled into depression and confusion so badly, I flunked myself right out of a good scholarship and out of college the first time. (I later got a two-year degree, but it's pretty useless.) It would be years before I came out, after my parents were gone. I wish very much I could have accepted myself as gay while in my teens and come out sooner, I wish very much I'd had some friends to talk to about it, and some friend or other who could have reached me somehow, to help me thought it, and yes, for those positive experiences and fooling around. If I'd had some of that, I think it would've helped a whole lot. But also, I do not know what could have reached me back then, I was so mixed up inside. And yet, more than anything, I wanted that love and to be loved. I couldn't think of "boyfriend" either way, back then. But I did want a special friend, and I did want to try things out. I just had no idea how to find any of my friends who might've been OK with that. (Oh, there were some pretty funny and unfunny fumbling attempts and crushes, but no, nothing positive enough.) So I grew up way too alone on this part of my life. I think it's terrible that people can be so homophobic that they make any nice kids feel so bad that they can't find love the way that straight kids do, with no problems. And I wish anyone might have thought to tell me it was OK with them if I was gay. I also wish anyone could think of the possibility that, hey, if you ask him repeatedly if he has a girlfriend, what girl he likes, and he keeps saying no, why in the world is it too taboo to say, well, that's OK, do you have a boyfriend, is there a boy you like, or even suggest some nice boy he might like to meet. (I realize how iffy that is, but see, no one ever once made that leap with me. It's funny how church people are loving and celebratory if you might have a girlfriend, but will never, ever, think it might be OK to suggest a boy might want a boyfriend. Oh, they might even suggest a nice girl, but they're not likely to suggest a nice boy. And school friends, guys and girls, don't do that either, in my experience. I wish it could be OK to do so.) So...yup, it is not easy, but if people accept themselves earlier, I think they can work through it and have a better life sooner.

[@jtdilauro]

Be yourself you can change the world

[@dennisr3738]

Always remember---- there is a Difference between Sex and Love-------- lots of people confuse the 2-----

[@mitchellbarnow1709]

Thank you for sharing the difficult process of coming out. I know that your work will help those that are stuck in the closet where there is no support system.

[@KingKhanWorldwide9]

So Proud! What a beautiful story. Keep sharing. You are who you are.

[@fenriu]

Woou your story is so touching, i can related to that so much. I don't use this like and excuse and I really know its my problem but here in the south of latin america been gay its alot harder :/ i'm almost 24 years old I'm finishing my architect studies and i'm still in "the closet". I knew i was gay since i got memory but i got a super religious house. I know i'll disappoint my entire family ( my father got 6 brothers ) and i was the first one on my generation to get into a great university, i got to take music classes, atletism, a lot of extracurricular stuffs just because they want me to do the best, also my mom dream about me having kids a wife and bla bla bla, of course my entire family ask me for girlfriends and it's kind of overwhelming. So, sorry about the opening, i just feel right to share this here publicly on your channel. And thx u for sharing your experiences and i'm glad because just listening to you guys ( a few youtubers ) i feel better. PD: Sorry about my english, it's rusty already

[@jean-pierrecastillejo5477]

Love your openness and sincerity. Your introspection is very refreshing!

[@kouyoumdjianzaghig4146]

I can agree to every single aspect of this video

[@loveiseverything5138]

Thanks for your helo Ive been running away from my sexuality for so long i cant take the pain self hate and hiding anymore. I just want to love myself for who i am i just hope i get there

[@nobody3888]

love is everything are you available to talk?

[@Barnaldomort]

Powerful video. Thank you Simon

[@alicia_nicole444]

I thought I was going to miss the atmosphere you set in your videos but i didn't cause I felt, I seen it. It's happening!

[@okimlistening2u]

Simon, for all of us, the factors that influence our concept of self are: society, religious institutions, family and our peers. When someone has homosexual orientation, several or most of those factors are sources of negative feedback and so the gay individual learns to hate himself [or herself]. But, for those fortunate enough , they are able to 'grow up' and slough off the ignorance and misinformation they grew up with. Sometimes though, that is impossible and they are held back and stunted by that misinformed feedback for life. It is channels like yours that help young people, and older folks as well, to realize that they were given a lot of false and erroneous feedback. Thank you, Simon, for the help you give.

[@benw9949]

I would say it's not impossible, but it takes a ton of work for some of us to get past those negatives we grew up with. Also, those negative messages don't end when we become adults, from people around us, and too much of it can get internalized. I know I'm still trying to get over the emotional damage from others and that internalized junk. But I've made some progress, enough to be vocal at times. I just wish it was as OK for a kid/teen to be gay as it is for them to be straight. The emotional damage has a long-term toxic effect, and that diminishes lives of people who could otherwise be happier and contribute more, and should get that chance.

[@KnightRaymund]

And this is one reason I kinda hate religion. I remember back in my late teens, early 20s, when I still kinda believed. I remember praying sometimes to find a girl, make certain thoughts go away. A few years later and I'm totally cool with myself.

[@B0x1ngF1r3]

I have trained myself out of thinking about my sexuality but I start uni next few days and want to start fresh. I think I'm bi, not really sure. is the best way just to push myself into getting with the opposite sex to see how I feel? any help appreciated.

[@neilliam3640]

ive been in his shoes too, well at least at the religion and hate part.

[@EuphoricVibesMusic]

We LOVE you for telling your story. This will help so many people. God bless you! :) #ItReallyGetsWayBetter........

[@TheJustinglen]

hello Simon thank you for sharing your story. you have been through a lot and are strong person. take care

[@scarletheartmedicine]

Omg can u do more videos qbout how you healed religious trauma ❤

[@introduceintroduction30]

I'm struggling up to this day about being gay , actually i talk about my sexuality to my sister and i think she do tell my other family member , although i knew I'm gay , I don't want to be so womanly gay but a manly gay. ,and i struggle about what others might think or say and i feel so drain and sad hearing from them who i am . and I'm not that sunshine person I'm very timid sooo timid person but i a smiley person to others, what should you advice me? i need your help, please

[@keephurn1159]

I hear this. For me, religion didn't hold me down; I did. I didn't want to stick out, be the oddball any more than I already was. Which is funny, because I was always the odd man out. If I had the confidence, well coulda woulda shoulda... As it was, I was really invested in a particular image of myself, didn't have the confidence to change that image, and feared the potential of it all going horribly wrong if I did. It took me a very long while to gain the self confidence in myself, be honest about my sexuality to myself and others, and be open to the potential for positive changes instead.

[@B0x1ngF1r3]

+Keephur N Hi there, do you have any advice on how to speed up the process. I feel like I cant fulfill my true purpose until I accept myself fully. I am unsure of my sexuality (think bi), will experimenting help?

[@keephurn1159]

Too much advice, perhaps :) You're a work in progress your entire life. Respect yourself as you are, uncertainties and all. Try out different things and don't beat yourself up if that particular thing doesn't work out. Mistakes help you figure out what does/doesn't work for you, right now. I took baby steps: I spoke to those whose opinions mattered the most to me and explained my situation. I asked for their support and understanding as I worked things through. I did things that tested my boundaries, a little at a time. I made sure to be mindful of the risks I was taking and that I would be okay regardless. Experimenting might help, as long as your partner at the time is okay with taking part. Emotions are involved, so it might get murky and weird. Just be true to your own needs and ideals (and try not to harm others in the process). Don't let anyone pigeonhole you or force you into something you're not ready for. Also, I still don't know my true purpose. I just know that I am a happier individual than I was before. I am not who I was before, and that's cool.

[@B0x1ngF1r3]

Keephur N Thanks, so just take small steps and surround myself with positive people. I am currently in the situation where I start uni in a day, I feel like ive suppressed my feelings all life preventing close relationships, I told my older gay brother that I might be bi but I didn't really feel better (probably because I haven't truly accepted it). When I go to uni I don't know whether I should tell people sort of straight away because otherwise I will stay how I am (in a safe zone) when I feel I need to get over this to unlock potential. Its good to hear you are happier, as for "purpose" its probably deep down somewhere, I suppose just keep trying and be true (although I cant really talk haha)

[@keephurn1159]

If bi doesn't feel right, then don't apply it to yourself. Questioning is a valid answer. I know, it doesn't help you with that unresolved "I don't know who or what I am" feeling, but it's okay, you'll work it out. Depending on your uni, they're likely to have support groups and chances to meet other questioning people.

[@B0x1ngF1r3]

Keephur N Gratitude!

[@mikemcfly4297]

I accept your perfect jaw line.

[@rui7552]

SIMON!!!!!!

[@chewingful]

You are so handsome! ^_^ And also, you seem like a really nice person. :D

[@nexttsar]

If you don't have a job, how do you afford to live in Southern California?

[@theoriginalsimon]

Freelance is my job right now.

[@Laughwithmelol]

Are used to hate my own sexual orientation I thought everyone thought this way we just don’t talk about

[@zachevens4271]

Great vid

[@blakej1892]

Wasn't this on your personal channel?

[@theoriginalsimon]

I uploaded to the wrong channel somehow.

[@nwlman]

It's hard to accept. Especially if like me you have a strong desire for your own children.

[@granmisticoful]

wtf?

[@Jamie16611]

Wtf

[@s.a.yeanish9989]

I n my own teen years fear ran my life. I hated school-bullying-and then religion making me feel like I was doomed to eternal hell/doom/nothing. I was very unhappy and my 2 sisters were my only real friends (one younger, one older.) I sucked in sports, even though my father coached basketball (middle school) for 35+ years. I was tall and lean, and if I were coordinated or interested I would have been his athlete of all my other 3 brothers.. I wasn't a nerd- but I was picked on for being quiet/meek/loner. I loved art. Drugs really hit the mainstream late 60's so I of course had no part of that. I wasn't feminine, but the fear and weakness (never got in a fight) made me a target. Kids can always sense the weak one. The "fairy" and "queer" names followed. (Not faggot in my day) It was hard to see your siblings see you picked on in school-embarrassing to say the least. Couldn't wait to get out of school) College was a dream. I became popular, got better looking and had a major growth spurt at 18. I wasn't used to be complemented on my appearance. I made friends and even got hit on. It was a whole new world. I was still affraid of being gay. We are so similar it scares me. Good to see you find your place and grow. You were fortunate. I was a coward.

[@therulesapply_6327]

Is it rude to ask what religious congregation were you apart of. I'm personally grow up seventh day Adventist and I had to hide my sexuality. I was just wondering.

[@JSchaefer93]

+That's Gay How old were you when you finally accepted yourself? Or realized that you were gay

[@Lotrelrond]

Os seus olhos são bonitos.

[@ropko2012]

Your story sounds like mine

[@Dolan8350]

❤️❤️❤️

[@yourmajesty8913]

Ffs none of the gay guys where I live look like this

[@yanitzajuarez6482]

💗

[@ians3305]

Why are there so liitle hot gay guys? I mean all the hot guys are straight, it's so annoying. Can somebody tell me a few HOT gay guys?

[@Julien-bt7fd]

is all centered around a lot of self-hate a lot of self-hate inspired by religion... dude, you probably never took a look to jesus! religions and churches fuckt up a lot of things in the past if there is heaven and hell then there is only one way this decision can be only made by yourself by now it should clear that's the way your born think about it for instance a blind man would say he is condemned of his blindness of course the majority is in a way blind and they don't understand never look to people even your best friends can disappoint you look to jesus

[@matthowland1770]

I'm so sorry that religious idiots did that to you God loves you even now these people are wrong he has never hated you and his real people love you don't judge God by fakes and religion God hates thoes things to