Sadly, I am heading down the cynical route. I wish I’d prayed back in the 1980s as my late mum kept telling me to do. The pain of my present situation is the major fight in my yearning to pray. The silence is truly deafening and I need answers and no more internal conflict with my equally internal tears. I am a very tired man.
@kevinchan30362 ай бұрын
Have you ever thought of considering praying through a lament? It sounds like there’s some pain that needs to be processed. What might it look like to process that with the Lord?
@itsititsit6984Ай бұрын
Paul, I recognise in a very personal way where you’re at and feel deeply for your pain. Sometimes the pit we find ourselves in feels too deep to climb out of, sometimes for really long seasons; often, we don’t even have the spiritual, emotional or intelectual energy to try. Yet we feel guilty or afraid that we’re failing. Resentment seeps in partnering with a sense of hopelessness leading to more apathy… Seeing apparently no change, no relief, unbelief and inner turmoil become our brutal reality. Vicious cycle. Paul, remember that our Heavenly Father formed you very deliberately - not randomly. He named you before your mother did. He invested His deepest love in you, undersigned in His own blood. Who else would do that for us? You are that valuable. To Him. Remember also that there are very real malevolent spiritual powers ruling the air, that never relent from trying to undermine and influence your emotions, thoughts, actions, beliefs, choices. Please don’t give up on yourself. Or on Jesus. He is your answer. He - not all the blah-blah Christianese- is your saving grace, your peace, your home, your truth. He IS ALWAYS THERE, loving you and seeing you, even if you can’t see or sense Him. It’s the honest truth! Even a single syllable prayer is a prayer. Even a single word or sound can be worship. Can I encourage you to vocalise these, whenever, however, despite how you feel. Vocalise Scriptures, randomly, whenever you can. This is truth and truth dispels lies, by default. Don’t overthink. Just trust Him; He will take the tiniest speck of faith if you give it to Him, whichever way, and will use it to lift you up. Trust Him in expectation of His goodness and love for you (God’s words, not mine). The thing is to keep trusting Him, be honest about where you’re at, be prepared to listen and give Him open permission to speak. This guy , (Pete Greig) is very well balanced and I found this particular talk so helpful. Can I recommend online viewing pastor Allan Jackson, James kawalya (recommend to start with his testimony… heavy stuff), Dave Bryan (again, his testimony is a good place to start), John Ramirez (ditto), Lisa Harper, Phillip Yancey (author), Bill Johnson (his books rather than the mega church stuff), Josh McDowell (I think I’m getting spellings wrong now!) John Bevere (especially his books “The Bait of Satan”, “Killing Kryptonite” and “Good or God”)… Sorry, there are so many I could recommend. But above all, get the Scriptures into your head and heart - it’s your firewall and your sustenance as well as your weapon. I pray you will be lifted out of the ashes of your frustration and pain to sing in absolute awe, joy, praise and fruitfulness of your life redeemed in Jesus. Warmest wishes.
@itsititsit6984Ай бұрын
PS This side of eternity, it is NEVER too late to start praying! :-))