Life in Canada: Raising Kids Alone Is Not Easy, I am struggling!

[@oladoyingbolagunte7278]

My daughter also did something similar when we moved here. I realized she started copying the kids in her daycare because there’s usually little to no consequence for them. All her 5 magic words went out of the window, she would throw herself on the floor in the grocery store e.t.c. It took a lot of verbal reinforcement, withdrawal of privileges and also paying attention to what she was watching during her screen time. Screen time was also reduced to just the weekends. Children have feelings and they are unable to regulate themselves or fully express it. I sit her down and let her say affirmations that would enable her process how she feels. This has worked for us tremendously.

[@BemiBadmus]

Wow this is amazing!!! Thank you so much for sharing! Kinda feels good to know moms who have been through this phase.

[@madeidanimo8963]

Omooo you really kept your cool o😮 not an easy thing.

[@euniceadesina529]

I must applaud your patience while being firm with Tise. Praying for God's wisdom every day as you continue to raise her in the right way. Sending you big e-hugs and kisses, mama 💜🥰😘. That sauce entered my eyes o. Was that fish before the green thing? Please what was the green stuff you added too? Thank you

[@BemiBadmus]

Amen!! Thank you! Yes it’s fish oh!! And the green thing is frozen spinach!!!

[@ceciliaamehey9864]

I take green tea too . Green tea is good for skin, hair and other parts of the body too.

[@BemiBadmus]

It just calms me down.. so Yh

[@evenewbeginnings]

Shalom dear sister Bemi💞. Tise is missing her dad and the separation anxiety which is new to her too is showing up. Sister Bemi, God bless you for patience, love and standing your ground as the mother👏🏾. You both need to have a talk with the dad on the phone (involved). iPraying for you and yours in this season and know that you are almost at the light at the end of the tunnel. May the devil NEVER take your joy, amen. Remember that Father God will NEVER leave you nor forsake you and your family in Jesus Christ name, amen🙏🏾🙌🏾💐🥰.

[@BemiBadmus]

Amen!! Thank you! Her dad and I are definitely having a talk with her everyday before she goes to school and when she gets back home. Thank you!

[@enya.7868]

Well done sis. You are doing an excellent job. I can imagine your frustration. As someone with a similar aged child in Daycare in Canada, here are my 2 cents. There "may" be a few more instances of such tantrums/exhibitions. It could be the shows she's watching, it may be another child rubbing off, they just found out they are "allowed" to do anyhow and are trying to test you. You handled the situation well. However, in my opinion, try to avoid calling her dad when she's having a meltdown in public as she's going to see it as a way to get his attention. Stand your ground on what you want her to do and try to talk to her as calmly as possible till she's over it. 😊 Then Daddy sessions should be when you are back home. And she should be strongly spoken to that there would be consequences. Withholding her tab, treats, whatever you find passes along the enormity of the situation. You both should let her know "you" are the active parent on ground and she should listen to what mummy says. Also, I let some little things I may have gotten worked over in Naija slide. I mention it o, then I tell her well done enjoy. So that when the "unacceptable" tantrums occur, she herself knows when mummy is talking, I have done it🙆 Sending you love and hugs♥️ 🤗

[@BemiBadmus]

Wow this is it! This is helpful advice and a practical one too! Thank you so much! I really really love this! Definitely started the taking away tab and treats thing and she will cry and cry like her life depends on it! But we are working towards it!

[@MaryObasi-Eze]

Mummy Tise applying your skincare on damp skin will help. No need to pat down with tissue. I don’t really have any advice for handling Tise but I wish you both all the best and hope her dad comes back soon. Maybe it’s new environment and all that.

[@BemiBadmus]

Oh on damp skin? Okay! Thats something I will start doing! Thanks for this!

[@adaa23456]

Just a little tip (I work in skincare) - spf 30 is fine! but you can really use just the 50 if that’ll make you feel more comfortable. Layering sps can be tricky because there’s a few rules to follow

[@BemiBadmus]

Thanks for the tip! It will even save me money 😂😂

[@anjolaoluwaacquah6280]

Children will test you. God is our strength

[@BemiBadmus]

They will test you oh! It’s to pray for grace and strength to overcome

[@olubunmi3257]

I’m not even a mom yet but I imagine it must not be easy May the Lord strengthen you and grant you the grace you need in this new phase

[@BemiBadmus]

Amen! Thank you 😊

[@moyosoreshobitan8862]

Children......they will teach you patience and long-suffering. Welldone Momma. We never japa o, but even in naija here its pretty daunting. I have 3 boys and 2 of them are on the spectrum. The tantrums and meltdowns no be for here. The side eye i get when we are outside and ppl expect you to give them maximum beating. Ive learnt to ignore, do the beat i can and continue to pray to God to help me. You are doing well Momma 🤗🤗May God continue to strengthen us. 🙏🙏🙏.

[@BemiBadmus]

Welldone mama, you are doing the very best you can do, God will continue to give us wisdom

[@moyosoreshobitan8862]

Amen

[@gzk3353]

Tise offed me when she said 'now it fits'. I love how you stood your ground, children try us everywhere, the trick is exactly what you did. Stand firm, control your emotions and your children will behave. Keep it consistent and she will understand that throwing tantrums will never work with you. I'm glad you didn't give up and shout out of frustration.

[@BemiBadmus]

It took everything in me not to give up! Every single thing! But we thank God she finally saw that it fit!

[@lifewithnnedi]

Thanks for sharing this experience, I learnt a lot

[@BemiBadmus]

Glad it was helpful!

[@obianujuakinlolu3260]

Oh Bemi, your such an amazing mum. I’m not this patient, and I’ve really learnt from you. This generation cannot be trained the way we were, may God give us wisdom in Jesus name

[@BemiBadmus]

Amen! God will continue to give us wisdom in Jesus Name! Amen 🙏🏾

[@okanlawona.t.1794]

Not married or a mom yet but I’m taking notes on how you have been navigating this season of your life ❤

[@BemiBadmus]

Oh thank God this is helpful!!!

[@raheemvictoria2593]

Weldone mama watching the video my patient was tested😩you really did a great job handling the situation may God strength you 🙏

[@BemiBadmus]

Amen! Thank you 😊

[@user-sc5tx9oe3n]

Please be careful not to hit her in front of anyone. God's your strength. Children will test you.

[@BemiBadmus]

Lool I don’t hit her not to talk of in front of anyone

[@officialfiwa5000]

Thank you for sharing. I'm learning ❤

[@BemiBadmus]

You are so welcome

[@Annsheddy_Diary]

Hmmm children it is only God that we will help us mum weldone ma the lord is your strength

[@BemiBadmus]

Amen! Thank you so much 🙏🏾

[@dharmseladegboyega]

I remembered the day I took my nephew to Walmart, wanted to do sweet aunty oo. Immediately we entered the mall, he just removed his hand from me and started running, I was like 😳😳, what if he start taking things or break them. I had to do Olympic this day oo 😂😂, I ran after, panting and so angry at myself for bringing him. People were laughing at us, thinking we were having good time. As soon as I was able to get hold of him, I just carried him to the car and drove back home without buying anything 😩😩 cos I’m already irritated. Is like they just want to behave that way once they are outside but God will give us the strength to train them well, honestly it’s not easy at all.

[@BemiBadmus]

Lmaoo that’s what children will do to you in this part of the world Kai! Sorry but you are preparing now 😂

[@Dimma_Charles]

Chai, it’s not easy. God is your strength

[@BemiBadmus]

Amen ooo

[@obehiomokhui]

Tishe don't stress mama for us 😅😅😅 We love tishe❤❤❤

[@BemiBadmus]

Haha she’s trying!

[@graceimana9590]

Talking from experince as a.mum who relocated to Canada with a child close to her age.Expect to see more of this behavior. Trust me, it's normal. She has just left everything she knew behind, and children arent often very vocal about expressing their feelings. Relocating can be especially hard on them. Understanding this will make it easier for you. Sometimes, they even know you cant discipline them the way you would have in Nigeria, and they play on that intelligence. Just be patient with her, continue what you're doing, and pray. She will get through this phase with time.

[@BemiBadmus]

You may be right, I’ve asked her tho several times if she misses home or if she’s feeling frustrated, I always want her to tell me. This day was just so different. But you may be right! Thank you for sharing 😊

[@helenekquaynor]

Well done Mama. She may have learnt it from other children in her school bit having said that website to remember that children especially her age do not know how to manage their emotions (even some adults don't so why do we expect children to). What you did was perfect, you allowed her to have the tantrum and eventually helped her to calm down, next you need to teach her how to deal with similar situations when she gets frustrated. Children will always cope what they see which is why I said she has likely seen it as school but next time you get frustrated you exhibit how you handle it and I bet you she will start doing same. We all go through this with our children because this is their learning phase and how we react is extremely important but I think you did very well and I'm happy it was at school rather than at home where you may not have remained so calm (because that too is how she would have behaved because that's what you would have shown her).

[@BemiBadmus]

You are right! We learn everyday! God will continue to give us wisdom to raise these children right!

[@landesilva9388]

Im learning parenting as a FTM from the comments .....well done Mama

[@mz_elizabeth_]

Same!!.. I no get advice oo, but I'm here scrolling and reading 😂 i have a 6 months old.

[@BemiBadmus]

Thank God for our little tribe here, we learn everyday!!!

[@AsyDarlynVlogs]

Tise of life😂😂😂 which one of you two did she take after? Cause you can’t just be blaming my babe like that😝🤣🤣 It’s almost like those teachers were waiting for you to lose your mind and act up, so they can report you. May God continue to grant us wisdom cos me I’ve learnt from your video. Children will test youuuuuuuuu

[@BemiBadmus]

My Asy of Canada! Thank you sis… amen oo we need wisdom from God for this phase.

[@biolaluv]

What she should have done since😂😂😂😂😂 the Lord is ur strength and give u wisdom

[@BemiBadmus]

Amen!! 🙏🏾

[@Debbywin]

Someone like me would probably be in jail by now. I know living abroad is not for me until my kids are grown. We can only visit when money comes

[@BemiBadmus]

Hahaha it won’t be that bad don’t worry 😂

[@oyinkansolaadefehinti5048]

God really gave you wisdom ooo. Na abara straight.

[@BemiBadmus]

😂😂😂 you cannot abara here ooo

[@ChichiEfe]

Ah Tise don vex 😂 yep kids do this o, when we moved my kids started emulating their other classmates, the culture difference can be a challenge in terms of dealing with tantums, ko eassy o, the Lord is your strength

[@BemiBadmus]

Amen! These children, God help us!

[@modesolamichael1867]

That's good you didn't succumb to her manipulation. Infact if it were here a sound abara on her back would have easily put her in check. God will give you more wisdom and calm to raise her peacefully for His glory my dear

[@BemiBadmus]

😂😂😂 Amen!!! 🙏🏾

[@maryamabeku5628]

How old is Tise ?we just moved to canada 🇨🇦 and my daughter is almost 3… I am learning ma’am

[@BemiBadmus]

Tise is 4 😊

[@modeleodebiyi1967]

This might be a bit late but please when you have the serious talk with Tise, keep it off KZbin. You can record for your private viewing but do not show on KZbin. You handled the situation very well, and may the Lord continue to give you patience. Even with both parents present in the home, children act out, but as long as there is agreement between you and your husband about training your children, the child/ren will know their boundaries, acceptable behaviour at home/ outside and manners.

[@BemiBadmus]

Why do you think it’s a bit late. Lol I don’t post everything I do on KZbin. I already had the talk with her and I didn’t even think to film it. Thank you for this tho! It will be very helpful! 🙏🏾

[@modeleodebiyi1967]

@@BemiBadmus Thank you for your response, Bemi. I tread very carefully when responding on some posts because I do not want my words taken out of context. In saying I thought my response was late, I meant that you might have already resolved the situation with Tise by the time you see my comment. I am happy to note your use of discretion when posting on this platform, I wish some other KZbinrs applied the same discretion. Stay blessed and focused, the good Lord will see you through all challenges.

[@BemiBadmus]

@@modeleodebiyi1967 ohh I understand now. Thank you very much, I really appreciate you!! 😊

[@zwashebangani8328]

Kids will tire you man😂, the patience in you will be drained

[@BemiBadmus]

😂😂😂

[@ObA287]

God is your strength. But if possible try to do the discipline at home. Prep her at home and have serious strong conversations with her at home. She can understand you and she will yield. If she refuses begin to take away some of her privileges. And let her know it was because she disobeyed.

[@BemiBadmus]

Yes I have started this, you need to see the way she will cry and cry like they are maltreating her. That was when I knew haaa I have more work to do.

[@ObA287]

@@BemiBadmus Tise is very strong willed so you will also need to be strong willed when disciplining her so that you are not tempted to revoke the punishment (obviously age appropriate punishment). But don’t let her manipulate you.

[@BemiBadmus]

@@ObA287 you are right!

[@teekayskitchen]

First to comment💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼

[@BemiBadmus]

Hiya mama 😊