Why I DON'T have a Wedding Ring + Why I DIDN'T have a Wedding

[@megd1435]

I didn't have a wedding . And I don't regret it . I have my husband I'm happy.... I wasn't paying all that money for people to watch us kiss.

[@jessicam.149]

meg Gabrielle I didn't have a wedding either! I knew I couldn't afford the wedding that I wanted so I didn't want one at all Lololol. That's just how I am. I am also introverted and have a hard time thinking about getting all of that attention lol. So my husband and I went to the courthouse. I have thought about maybe doing a big reception with a wedding cake and all at our 10 year anniversary. Just no wedding lol

[@SaloneDutchess]

Jessica M. Thats also the way i think lol if things like this dont go my way i dont want it lol...

[@temiadesina]

exactly I just wanted my husband. y'all can have the rest hahaha

[@temiadesina]

lol I def feel you Jessica the courthouse was where it was at lol

[@Kells7928]

😂 this comment made me chuckle. So true tho!

[@iamhermonica6331]

A lot of people want to get married instead of be married.

[@temiadesina]

Just to be clear. I am NOT telling others not to have a wedding or wear a wedding ring. Nor am I judging/bashing anyone that does it. I am just giving my personal views on why I decided not to pursue either

[@loulousworld92]

As a Nigerian you are one of a kind, our culture is Obsessed, I repeat !!! Obsessed with marriage lol but I like that you are different and you stick to your decision.

[@temiadesina]

exactly Motunrayo and Loulouella I feel like its even more pressure being Nigerian but I aint got time lol

[@lillianushurhe9124]

yes all my family is like when is the wedding they actin like i aint get married at the court house lol

[@ghanwin]

This is so true ! I don't even want to get married..

[@tesskamuanga8789]

I think it's all Africans, I'm Congolese and we're also OBSESSED with weddings and marriage.

[@deborahakhimie3144]

I agree but I married my hubby without family. Just the two of us.

[@annettemint]

I got married in April. My husband is originally from Ethiopia and I'm from a big Southern family. I immediately knew that I didn't want to have a big wedding. We got married at a small intimate chapel with just my parents and a close friend. Now a wedding ring is a different story..haha I have several rings. (don't ask) Now a lot of people tried to invite themselves and few were upset...but we did what was best for us. At the end of the day I was looking for a marriage, not a wedding. Great video!!

[@miss.prissss]

annettemint we’re about to do the same thing and my mom is not having it, but oh well... we just wanna get married already and do not have the money for all the extra stuff

[@mwatts-riley2688]

Perfect. Simply perfect. M, il.

[@beckysilky2868]

Oh my...My whole attention has always been on your hair that I barely noticed you don't wear a wedding ring. I believe in people doing what works for them than following trends or doing what anyone does. I do love your simplicity really ❤❤

[@temiadesina]

thanks so much.ur always so supportive

[@beckysilky2868]

❤❤

[@ashafuller6798]

Wedding rings don't prove love nor marriage. The proof is in the people and the love and loyalty they have for one another. Me and my husband got married intimately just me him and our son. No ring..

[@monyc1004]

My husband is Nigerian and I'm Jamaican. When I heard of the traditional Nigerian wedding I was like oh hell nah lol. I'm to much of an introvert for that. So we went to the court house and had our reception at IHOP with our two whiteness. We have been married for 6 years and together for 13. To this day his parents still say we HAVE TO have a wedding lol. I'm not about spending that money either. I can totally relate to you on so many levels. I thought I was the only one who shared the same thoughts as u lol.

[@temiadesina]

lol ur def not alone. Girl our parents wanted us to at least do a traditional I'm like NO. Im glad your husband was supportive of the decision cuz I know how these mother in laws can be lol

[@mommyjudith1358]

@ NaturallyTemi u didnt have a white wedding nor a ring for that one i understand. But also not a traditional wedding so how did u guys married ? i'm trying to figure it out how did your wedding date go ? was any pastor involved ? plsss i really want to know :)

[@OhThelma]

I don't blame you girl!!!

[@preyekwalmi3251]

Did he pay your bride price?

[@mirandaokon]

@@mommyjudith1358 🗣She probably went to the court house with two witnesses. Forward 5 years and now going through a divorce🧨 Hmmmm

[@nythebest1]

Anyone can have a wedding, but not everyone can have a marriage. I also plan on not having a wedding. Or if I do, it will be really small. I'm Ghanaian, so I might be burned for this at the stake, but fuck it lol.

[@temiadesina]

lol hahaha very well said

[@EvelynKlompmaker]

nana adjoa am a Ghanaian too. and I didn't had a wedding only court married and the small traditional thing. people talked about it but I am happily married with perfect husband and beautiful 4 kids😊

[@lillianushurhe9124]

nana adjoa. chai all the aunties go die ooo lol. but do whats best. for you. I haven't had a big wedding yet only court wedding

[@Brwniee95]

lol I'm from Ghana too & im thinking the same I want something small, intimate or not at all 😅 can't stand the attention

[@beatbynatasha4488]

nana adjoa fuck it Mann u just do you !! Weddings are overrated 😭

[@loisamy15]

I've followed you for a while and I love your videos , but this one is one I'm really grateful for you uploading because I can relate to this video. I'm not about the big African wedding or the ring . I told my bf if he wants to do the ring thing he better just buy a band and keep it pushing . People put too much pressure on the ring and make it seem like it's the most important thing in life . I need a successful marriage not a piece of jewelry that I might lose in the bathroom sink 😂.

[@Windgoddess78]

Amy Nya I feel the exact same way! I thought I was the only one that felt like this

[@temiadesina]

EXACCTTTLLLLYYYYYYY our parents were like you have to at least have a traditional. I said how you gone get me to show up?

[@loisamy15]

Windgoddess78 get me to show up 😂😂 that's funny. But our parents want too much

[@Windgoddess78]

NaturallyTemi 😂😂😂😂😂

[@notwrongorright2853]

Amy Nya 😂😂😂😂

[@Windgoddess78]

I'm also on the extreme end of the introverted side. I go on vacation by myself and had no problem staying at the hotel. i only went out to get food lol! And I really don't want a huge wedding, i would elope if I could. And yes I am not about that wedding debt life. I am here for this video, thank you for this!

[@temiadesina]

thanks so much for watching. lol when my husband leaves me home by myself when he travels when I tell you I be starving because I refuse to leave the house girl when I pick him up the first thing he has to do is take me to get something to eat before I pass out lol

[@Windgoddess78]

NaturallyTemi Bahahaha I feel you! That's why next time i gotta do the all-inclusive joint so i can never leave 😂😂

[@cdmccaffity]

+NaturallyTemi yessssss! I totally get it. When I tell you I will starve. I will starve. 😂😂 It feels good to know there are other people that understand.

[@eybaps9177]

I totally agree. I feel like America put all the pressure on for weddings and rings. My grandparents didn't have rings and they were married for 64 years. It's about uniting not all that extra stuff.

[@Hannah-sy6pw]

E Bap It goes back to Rome

[@renecialbrewton9859]

I don't wear a wedding ring either. I carry myself as a married woman so that's how men know I'm married.

[@theresatoomer5578]

That' s interesting. I am single. I don't wear a wedding ring but men don't think I am married. They ask if I have children or if I am married.

[@Christimony222]

amen!

[@maggiekabongo843]

When I saw the title of this video I was omg Temi you don't want a wedding or a wedding ring! Then I watched the video and it opened my eyes that people spending a lot of money on 1 single day... then I remember when Kim kardashian had that expensive wedding and was only married for 72hours....my parents never had a wedding and I never understood whyyy but you help me understand that it's best to have a secure marriage then have a successful wedding.

[@OhThelma]

because many people get divorce because of financial issues since they spend money for their wedding.. smh. that's why i never want to have a big wedding and ring.. no thank you.

[@ladybeans153]

Weddings start so many issues I know. Finances being one

[@treegreen7206]

I love your uniqueness & individuality. I'm a firm believer in not wasting money. I told my hubby not to bring me flowers because I can enjoy those in my yard.

[@temiadesina]

lmboooooo hahaha yeah my husband use to hate that he bought me flowers and the next day it'll die he was like dag can you at least put it in some water and act like you care

[@ebengah13]

NaturallyTemi tr

[@itz_tocalana]

Lol i always said flowers is waste of money ...2 to 5 days and they go to the garbage...no ring for me i do like vacation so my preference is the honeymoon, no body will eat and drink my money 😁😁😁😁

[@inga.simone]

Watching this video was like watching myself!!! I am an introvert also! I tried to "plan" a ceremony for maybe 2 weeks and it drained me. Hubby and I said F this and went to the courthouse. People would keep asking "Don't you want a real wedding?" I've been to weddings and the marriage didn't even last! We have no regrets 7 years later 😊

[@adrianadye123]

I love your honesty! I, as well, did not attend my prom for the same reasons. I didn't have friends in high school. I worked a part time job while attending high school. Ironically, I'm drawn to people who are extroverted because I'm an introvert. I LOVE the 3 friends I have because they know I HATE going out. I'll meet up with them one on one...not in a group setting. I work nights just to avoid as many people as I can. TRUST, your views and opinions are not strange because I have them as well.

[@temiadesina]

lol I use to work shipment in the back before the store opened so by the time the store opened up I would be clocking out. Dealing with people has always been draining for me but its something that I'm working on lol

[@latoyaskinner3310]

My husband and I didn't have a wedding and we do not wear wedding rings either. I'm with you 100% on everything said here.

[@lydiadavis1763]

I had a nice wedding. We did it within our budget and kept it simple, so we didn't have to charge anything or have debt when we got married. The best wedding is however you want the wedding. If you and your husband are happy with how you got married that is the best wedding. I have a wedding ring, but the wedding ring is just a symbol. You took your vows before God and that union is permanent. No ring need. All these things are just material things. The most important thing is honoring that vow you made before God.

[@PurpleReign413]

Many people say I'm not a true introvert because I do KZbin videos. But the gag is I don't mind talking to a camera by myself. Didn't attend prom and didn't have a wedding. So I feel you on so many levels. P.s. Many people say we look alike, we're both Sagi's and we have a lot in common. How scary is that? 😩

[@angelface4774]

No prom, didnt even attend graduation, n did a courthouse wedding. I started w a small ring, n then asked for an upgrade, but once i got that upgraded ring, i hated the attention it brought! Stopped wearing it altogether.

[@asnoguenld]

yeah man im nigerian as well, and is like you do the wedding not for yourself but for other people. i just wanna be married to my husband and maybe make a little tour to meet family and friends all over the world. plus at wedding there are so many people that wont be there for you anyway

[@LizardAMcC]

As someone who is Nigerian.. I can definitely agree with having strict parents. It has made me a shy person and someone who is reserved and rarely likes to go out.

[@simplyevanescent]

Elizabeth Akindolie I thought my family was the only one. I always knew other African parents were strict, but in my family it was a whole other level. My parents did not even want to associate with "family" so we do not know anyone. It is just me and my siblings. We stayed at home all day, could not go anywhere even in high school. Now my parents wonder why I don't have many friends. 🙄I suffer from the same anxiety being around people, it makes it so hard for me going through life especially in fields where you have to interact with people. Thank you Temi for sharing this because I thought I was the only one with this upbringing. It has made me somewhat resentful and I'm working on changing things as an adult. I feel as though it has affected me a lot.

[@LizardAMcC]

I couldn't agree more. My parents still to this day do not associate with others. They're always suspicious of others lol. Idk if you know how that goes haha. Lucky enough I have an "auntie" here in the states whom I'm pretty sure is my mom's only friend. It can be difficult to deal with as a young adult especially since this millennial generation is all about going out and being social. Although, I'm glad that I can recognize it and learn how to be better in social situations.

[@paulayator985]

i feel you about the whole wedding thing. i am also that girl who never dreamt of a white wedding and so never did. married 8yrs now and happy with my decision. had my civil wedding and of course no white gown or anything close to a gown, with only 6 people in the room, and that includes my husband and i. being an introvert too, i am very private and have a close circle of friends, we invited relatives and friends for lunch to announce our marriage at my parents house after my parents insisted. if not for my parents that luncheon would have never happened either lol

[@therenee2467]

I was never the girl that dreamed about her ideal wedding and didn't see the importance of having a wedding. I always felt that people would put more effort and energy into that one day than they would on the marriage itself. I allowed my mom and mother in law to persuade us to have a wedding, but it wasn't extravagant and we didn't incur any debt from it. At the end of the day, I think people should do whatever makes them happy, but I could have done without it. The ring, however, was a MUST! 💍

[@GloryOkings]

I'm half Nigerian and most of my friends are Nigerian when I tell them i want a small wedding they look at me confused.

[@Wanjiro81]

So glad there are other people like me who feel this way about weddings. I've NEVER been interested in having a wedding! I'm more of an introverted extrovert, though. I love being out and about, but I equally love being home by myself in peace and quiet.

[@temiadesina]

interesting so your in between

[@vickyd9584]

N Williams are u aries? lol because am aries and just want to be alone most of the time.

[@Wanjiro81]

Yes! It's crazy.

[@Wanjiro81]

Nope! I'm a Sagittarius. I'm very outgoing, but also very introverted. It's weird. I go through long spells where I just don't want to be bothered, and I mostly like going out by myself.

[@alwaystatiana595]

N Williams I'm a Sag too and the same exact way

[@naakai6397]

You are right. It's all about the actual union, not the extras. I stopped wearing my ring cos it got tight and now gives me rashes when I wear it. my hubby's ring to tight and he took it off. we've both not been wearing rings and neither one of us have an issue with it. Love is all that matters.

[@temiadesina]

yes yes yes love is the main goal, I'm not too concerned with anything else

[@OhThelma]

i m gald you took your wedding ring off...I learned about wedding ring has behind message. I was like wow!

[@TheInsiderBeauty]

I agree with you! But I do want a ring. Lol

[@nedrabell6339]

Such a great video! I completely agree! My husband and I just got married in January and we went to the courthouse. We were not trying to spend all that money on one day. Its not that serious! We are more concerned with making our marriage last MANY years, rather than spending all that money for ONE day!

[@mwatts-riley2688]

My wedding cost 440$. We were married at a court house, (30$) had 14ppl, my little white dress, his best suit, a few candles, two cakes and a Crock-Pot of Italian beef, Mac salad, and a fruit plate. That's it. M, il.

[@queentosheable]

You are so brave to talk about all this & THANK YOU!! OMG I am the SAME way!! We just went to the court that's it! I didnt like the stress of the wedding planning, the money, I didn't want the attention!! I'm still like that to this day... I'm more of a introvert!! I went to prom though!! I understand all that you talked about...you're not alone girlfriend!

[@temiadesina]

yay thanks for sharing you own story. I CANT be bothered lol

[@queentosheable]

NaturallyTemi okaaay?? Right on! me too girl, me too!👍👍

[@jelicianorwood24]

I am the same. I just don't want wedding and I don't like being in the center of attention.

[@devinhenderson1127]

I believe it is absolutely amazing that you follow your heart and don't allow anyone to mold your thoughts, parents, friends, or colleagues! I also did not have a wedding, I married at 20, I felt sure but I wasn't really sure if I had made the correct decision and I wasn't willing to put my family in debt over my uncertainty! And we are here still standing 10 years into our marriage! As long as God recognizes your union, weddings and rings just don't matter! Good Luck Temi😘 You are so beautiful and smart! Best wishes!!!

[@temiadesina]

thanks so much and I'm so glad you shared your story. Even tho you were uncertain I am glad that you and your hubby is still together

[@soulfullyroyalnita]

I didn't have a wedding either, I respect those Queens who dream of that day and wish them well! But having my main squeeze out of the deal satisfies me! Keep that amazing content coming!

[@temiadesina]

thanks beauty

[@rosettelillehei7730]

I got married 12 years ago and spend $ 25.000. After spending all that money we went to live in appartement. I regret spending that money even today. We could had put it on down deposit and get our house.

[@KiboBetts]

this was a new perspective for me... Im african as well as was raised similarly. I would like to have a wedding but small because i only want close friends and family and not trying to go into debt. I respect your decision because i also know how much Nigerians dont play with their weddings and you took a stance for what you believed in no matter what!

[@Nwadiogo]

I do want a wedding and a ring but I just don't understand the fuss over diamonds. There's so many reasons to avoid them.

[@ladydiamondt891]

I'm EXACTLY the same way but because I KNOW A LOT of people, many refuse to believe that I'm an introvert to the max! My exhusband refused to believe it. So once we began living together, it became VERY clear to him and even though we BOTH worked mad 12 hour shifts, his meals were cooked, house and clothes were clean, EVERYTHING was in order no matter what, BUT because I am the way I am, he had the audacity to call me lazy! THAT did something to me and nothing was ever the same after that, and needless to say after 14 years together, 10 years married, it ended. I agree that NO ONE can judge another, it simply is what it is. No matter what Temi, be happy doing you, and it seems as though you are. I've learned that the way people love you is for them, and how they love you satisfies them, and at times, they act as if they're doing YOU a favor. If people cannot love you how you are and where you are in life ~ BYEEEEE! Continue doing and being the best person you know how to be without dealing with the status quo's expecting everybody to be down for whatever they're down for. Much love.

[@ninahurd5371]

Your husband didn't appreciate you at all all that cooking and cleaning you did he's call you lazy I'm glad you left him be yourself let nobody tear you down have a wonderful life

[@kamaaiiyah8768]

Same here never thought about my wedding day. Got married no ring either. Simply put a ring and a wedding is not a requirement to get married. Feeling you 100%

[@lovelypuff9]

I never dreamed of the traditional wedding either. My husband and I also didn't want to do a court house wedding. We went to the national parks and got married near a river as pirates.

[@queentosheable]

Are you a Pisces?? I am & we are sooo similar... I'm so private & march to the beat of my own drum too...curious

[@temiadesina]

hey boo I'm a saggitarius

[@queentosheable]

NaturallyTemi Hey Boo! Oh ok thank you! ha! same sign as my daughter! ❤

[@olliebee-dk9fq]

Queen Toshe lol it's true!

[@cdmccaffity]

+NaturallyTemi I knew it!!!😂😂 I am one too.

[@SusieSue242]

I'm a Pisces Sun and Sagittarius Moon & I feel the exact way she does.

[@AshleyMorgan]

People are so materialistic. If a man treats you right , provides stability, protection, and makes you happy that's the reason for marriage. I would just automatically assume you didn't want a wedding. I don't want a wedding but because my partner is Ugandan he wants it sooo if we get married lol I have no choice lol I'm all about making him happy so as long as he's smiling I'm happy

[@B.Christine_W222]

This is how I feel when folk try to force their beliefs about having kids😡😡😡 on me!!!

[@dundermifflin1888]

i completely agree w you when it comes to not letting others push their thoughts onto you! great vid! girl as long as your marriage is Happy and it lasts who cares if you didnt have a wedding or a ring?

[@temiadesina]

PREACHHHHHHH

[@sankaryl10]

I came across this video looking for words of encouragement cause I am in the same predicament. I’m West African as well and currently planning a wedding but my heart is just not into doing all this only for an event that lasts several hours. The marriage is most important. Plus I feel the exact same way as you introvert to introvert lol. I love weddings, but just not for me. I don’t feel like it’s really worth it. After talking to my partner we both decided to just cancel the big Shabang because it’s not who we are and it’s not what WE really want. We were intimately doing it for our parents. We haven’t told them our decision YET, but this video boosted my confidence so I’m just here to say thank you.

[@GracefullyKaren]

I mean it's always good to see things from a different perspective. My parents did a court wedding but had an engagement party. I know a Nigerian girl who got married/had a wedding but doesn't believe in wearing rings. Everyone is different. To each is its own. If a man wants to holla, you just have to let them know you married. ✨😊

[@innerworkpodcast9929]

My fiancée wats a big wedding I want small,though love my ring and I can't wait to get my wedding ring.

[@popvmonv97]

I grew up with the same type of household. I have anxiety too, I'll literally freak out on simple things and I'll make things 10x more complicated than it actually is.

[@CUBS83]

I feel the same way. I'm introverted. I love ppl, but prefer one on ones. I don't believe in unnecessary stress and performative customs so... yea, I'll take the marriage & skip all the wedding woo woo. :) But yes-- good to be open to more based on flexible comfort points.

[@stephanieosei3775]

This is definitely an interesting POV and a different perspective altogether. I have watched you over the years and I agree with you that no one can make you do something that you do not want to do and it isn't practical to go into debt for a wedding or sometimes even spending the money within your budget for others to come and chop. I understand from your perspective how you aren't big on jewelry unless its like a glam choker or a special event or KZbin, however, for me I think that perhaps a wedding band may be my only piece of jewelry in marriage because of that. I agree that a man can try to talk to you wedding ring or not (smh). It is symbolic of the institution of marriage despite the fact that it isn't in the bible lol - I'm young so this perspective can change as a I get older as well. At the end of the day, the marriage and maintaining and growing that is what matters - I pray for partner who is understanding of my thought process similar to yours and above all, supports and respects it. If I may ask, how old were you when you got married and did you have a traditional wedding or just went to the courthouse? Thank you for sharing! 💕

[@MissmayaV]

THANK YOU ! When i tell and explain people i dont want a 'big ''wedding, they don't understand. No need to feed people there eyes for a few hours. And the stress that comes with it ....:/

[@MuzikPerson]

I admire this, especially because of your cultural background. I clicked the video to see your perspective because even though I have thought about my wedding for years, my ideology around marriage and weddings have vastly changed, mostly because of the history of marriages, society's expectations and my role in my family. And I also have anxiety lol. I think it's really dope that you made that decision and that you and your husband stuck to it together.

[@staceychellz]

I totally respect you. It's great that in this world we live in people have a different perspective on how they want to live their life. A wedding and a ring does not warrant the love that you and your husband have. It will not increase nor decrease it. The most important thing is love and respect between the both of you. I wasn't raised the way you were but I totally understand it and respect it. Stick to your values girl. And YES the Bible does not say a big £\$ 20,000 and a ring must be done for a couple to be married. 😊😊

[@temiadesina]

lol thanks so much sis. yea the different mindsets is always crazy and its always good to get someone else outlook on things.

[@thechrissiewise]

I feel you boo! And Yessss strict African homes are no joke!! My mom (is Liberian) and she didn't play that so I know the feeling girl!! lol! But I wouldn't have it any other way!

[@temiadesina]

girl I would have it another way lmboooooo only slightly tho

[@doingthisforclass]

I definitely applaud you for standing your ground and knowing exactly what you want ESPECIALLY with Nigerians pressuring you 🙄 But I do think there needs to be a distinction between being an introvert and having mild agoraphobia which is what it sounds like you're describing (idk I'm not an expert). Introverted just means you get your energy back by being away from other people. You can still love socializing and exploring and be an introvert, it just means you need time away from others to recharge. But the anxiety you talked about having with going outside is more in line with agoraphobia. I'm an introvert (a weekend all to myself is the best feeling in the world) but I love traveling and exploring and being adventurous. Anyway your makeup looks great!! One of my 2017 goals is to learn how to do makeup like this.. it's almost July and I haven't learned anything 😩

[@fatsani27]

doingthis forclass I agree! My parents were exactly like hers but I realised that what it built in me was a fear of the world not introvertedness, which she's kind of hot confused in the video.

[@MzDeAndraJhene]

doingthis forclass Yes. That's exactly what being an introvert is. I don't get why people assume introverts are anti-social and never leave the house. I'm introverted and I have to leave the house at least once a day, talk to someone and be social for a little. Only thing is that after 3 hours a person starts to drain out my energy. But I do like going out to clubs and other things. I might not talk much cause of my anxiety but introverts don't just stay in the house.

[@classycassie1118]

doingthis forclass yes. I'm introverted and I love to travel and go out by myself or friends. I like to go out and do things by myself too. But some days I just want to stay in the house alone.

[@fayeethh]

Yes preach! I am soo comfortable in my own space on my own but definitely love to be around people and out and about too. I just need that alone time to recharge and relax. I don't want to overstep at all, but I agree and do think Temi's situation is more unique in terms of her level of introvertedness. The anxiety may be there but you can overcome it! (Again, I don't want to sound judgemental or anything and know I don't know you personally, but just wanted to give that little bit of support because I've been there!) Also I love that you're doing you and aren't letting those around you sway you - I need some of that strength of character in my life lol!

[@JamCanGurl]

This video just totally changed my point of view. I didn't have a wedding and I thought I was missing something but I'm not. Thank you!

[@princesspink5944]

my husband and I got married at the court house in a private ceremony with our moms present. This what we both wanted. We are both very happy! Don't worry about other people's opinions, do what makes you both happy.

[@GretaMimi1]

i wish my parents will let me do my thing.everytime i say i want to get married in a jean and wite t-shirt i always receive a slap. now i am force to make them happy by paying for a wedding.

[@justcyleen6721]

i wont lie, your comment cracked me up😆😆😆😆

[@asialeslie1995]

U not forced to do anything. Gotta break out of the year of your family and just cling to your husband. Y'all should do it the way y'all want to do it.

[@dinorastic3877]

I'm a non-religious Liberian and let me just repeat my words coming out of your mouth..."my nos are my nos and my yes are my yes"...."don't try to make your thoughts what I have to do" 👏👏👏👏👏👏. Its important to respect each other's individual choices, especially as a couple. It makes a stronger unit.

[@theresabrown1636]

just curious! how did you meet your husband? and how did you get to the point of wanting to share you personal space, time etc with someone forever (being as though you are an extreme introvert).

[@Brwniee95]

Theresa Brown good question she has a video on how they met but I would love to hear the POV of her being introverted lol

[@sophierees9208]

well,to each its own! if that works for you,then do it.I am very traditional so i like all that Serenren.

[@natalielioeanjie6160]

you are right....people spent alot of mony for a wedding ..but after the wedding when you have problems nobody will be there......

[@TheSilverCrownNaturalGreyHair]

We got married in my home. Private wedding with 7 people. Nine years later we still have the same rings and each other. Whatever floats your boat, I say!

[@Christimony222]

I completely agree ! Not tryna spend all that money for one day or just to perform for others benefit lol Marriage is about union with two people and God. That’s all I need ! I would like a vacation together as a honeymoon :) but it doesn’t have to be immediately. We can just put money aside until we have enough to go.

[@mayodada655]

Totally agree with you because everyone looks at me when i say i don't have an idea of how a wedding should look like and how outrageous it is for one to have a big wedding

[@temiadesina]

lol yes ooooo some people just aint built that way lol

[@reebar1364]

Thanks for sharing, me and my husband have been married for 8yrs and we don't wear rings but i do regret spending unnecessary money on our wedding though.

[@africanodyssey4805]

As a fellow Nigerian and introvert who had a very similar background to you in not being able to go out to friends houses thus further shaping my introverted-ness, I've had the thought of not having a wedding either. But at the same time I want one, all extravagant and Nigerian lol. On one hand the thought of spending so much money and having everyone one looking at me and potentially judging me is off putting and scary, but I feel like I'd regret not having one. I've always dreamt about my wedding since I was a kid celebrating with fam and friends and I'll prolly end up having one, but I resonate with you on not having one or having a wedding ring.

[@user-xt3gx5yu3b]

I agree with you 100 %. I've always said I march to the beat of a different drummer. I do my own thing.....regardless of what other's want to TRY and push on me.

[@LawrenceDailyVlogs]

I didn't have a wedding either, we just celebrated our 8th year wedding anniversary yesterday actually! Girl it was a mess planning my baby shower so I know planning a wedding would have been even worse, nor did I want to spend a ton of money when that money could go towards bigger and better such as the home we purchased and the next home we're going to purchase. So I feel you.

[@TCToni]

I grew up in a Trini 🇹🇹 household the exact same way. I was homeschooled and had 0 friends and my parents had no friends. Couldn't go anywhere and I lived in the country with nothing to do. I have terrible anxiety in public. It has gotten better and sometimes I enjoy being out but my boyfriend is the only one that can make me feel at ease when anxiety kicks in.

[@SuperDemodiva]

...just literally explaining my personality. I'm a deep thinker and always want to know more of "why" i should rather than take someone's word for it.

[@RB-kv8my]

I RESPECT THIS SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm Nigerian too and I want a HUGE wedding, but I TOTALLY let everyone around me DO THEIR THING. I am SUCH a strong believer in letting people do them 👌🏾 love this

[@monkey.dchomsy9464]

I've mainly followed you on insta and I'm a big fan, I mean you are basically my hair crush, my hair goals, my hair everything! I love all of your tutorials however, I'm so glad you made a video about this as I don't see many people with the same mindset. I like your honesty and the way you tell it like it is. Tbh I'm not really into relationships at all and haven't been since birth but based on the experiences my friends had, I'd like to think I would make the same decisions if I became interested. I'm an introvert too (introverts unite!!!) and I also had strict African parents just hope I'll soon be as fabulous as you.

[@tahjrose-fagan6742]

I always said that I didn't want a wedding. so many people are so pressed to fulfill this façade.... This extravagant wedding to please everybody else but the union is in shambles. I rather any day to have a humble ceremony, babe, myself and maybe one or two witnesses and we have a happy and successful marriage DEBT FREE if I may add ... Than this fairytale wedding and we have a strained marriage.

[@temiadesina]

exactly some people need to worry more about whats about to happen after the wedding

[@Veelovely28]

Nice video and I totally agree with!! But i saw your picture on IG (the one where you talk about the same subject) and let me tell you that IM IN LOVE with the hair style...I would love to replicate the same for my own wedding next year. My mom wants be to put a weave (uuh ..hell no..i did not went back natural for no reason) but i want to rock my natural hair. You looked gorgeous and you are!!! Xxx

[@JustMeg29]

I totally feel like this. I got engaged last year. I asked my boyfriend. We're not eating engagement rings at all. We both don't care to waste money on buying engagement rings then wedding bands. I recently bought myself an engagement dainty ring and I thought I would like it but I really don't. I don't want people asking questions and being all noisy.

[@fayeola6616]

My goodness! We are twins! I also. Never aspired to have a lush, expensive white wedding. I just wanted to find an amazing man! And I did ❤️. My hubby is Nigerian, a man of God, gorgeous, educated, and out chemistry is crazzzy. We now have 3 children, a beautiful home, and a great comfortable life together. I can't imagine spending alllll that money for one day! It works for some, but not for all. God bless you for sharing your story 🙏😊

[@ZenLioness]

This video makes me feel better about not wanting a wedding. I've been trying to figure out compromises in my head, such as a small outdoor one but I'd be happy without even that. I'm introverted as well.

[@temiadesina]

awww make sure its fine with your honey first lol

[@AlexaNicolexo]

I appreciate another woman coming out and saying she doesn't want a wedding. I would much rather put the money towards my savings, down payment on a house etc. I see people have these lavish weddings they go into debt for, and they barely get to enjoy them! It's mainly for other people. Plus the waste of food and beautiful flowers and other resources is appalling to me. I could forego the whole marriage part too. Makes no difference to me. I do have an "engagement" ring though, because yo' girl likes some bling lol. People compliment me on my ring all the time and then ask me when I'm getting married. The looks I get when I say "never." 😂

[@purpleplus678]

Good for you! A wedding and a ring have NOTHING to do with the quality of one's marriage. I know many couples who spent big bucks and they are not together anymore.

[@fantamegful]

My parents (Africans as well) would not allow me to hang out with friends or let my siblings play with other kids for a while, but this is very extreme 😧. Being sheltered has had an impact on all of us but attending college has allowed me to be less introverted and go out more. Now, My siblings play all day, go to the movie theater with their friends, and invite them for birthday parties. Socializing with others is very important, especially at a young age because the lack thereof can result in low self esteem, distrust, anxiety, inability to interact with others......etc. So I understand but It's also sad 😔

[@ngarubiram]

I hear you girl. Hubby and I were pressured into having a wedding. We went thru with it and I did not enjoy my "special day". Neither did he...

[@missdreoutlaw]

I'm getting married in Oct this year and I dont have a engagement ring and I'm not stressed about the wedding bands bc we don't wear jewelry or watches. A ring isnt anything bc at end of day with or without the ring, as long as YOUR STATE say your married YO AZZ MARRIED. So do you boo and congrats to you both. Stay blessed.

[@OhThelma]

I completely agreed with you sis! Wedding dress is waste money for ONE DAY and wedding ring is not worth it plus pay preacher at church, driver, wedding planner, and more. this is why reason I don't want to wear wedding dress and ring too...I wanna African tradition wedding because it is my true root ancestors and I show my respect them. I want to be happy and have family. just saying.

[@Briwiththebighair]

I completely understand being introverted. I am so content being alone in my room for days at a time. lol my mom thinks I'm depressed but I'm just fine. I do like going out but only with ppl I'm close to or family. I love being in my own space.

[@Cocoshort2257]

Love all your videos! And your lippies! I know this video is older but if you see this what lipgloss is that? I love your make up as well as a your hair styles. Would love to see some GRRM make and hair videos.💖

[@yellacreole]

that is so true I am so much like you home is where I'm comfortable but it makes it hard for me meet anyone. the way a child is reared does affect who you are as an adult.

[@mariecharles9758]

I agree, and I'm the same way. Very interesting, people thought i was being cheap or because we couldn't afford a wedding. Which is so far from the truth.

[@temiadesina]

yea its so far from the truth. how about you ask me what my reasoning is, I'm honest if I can't afford it I would say that but I didn't so,,,,,lol I def feel you

[@ElleAyeCurlz]

I enjoy getting to know you more. Also, although I would want a ring and wedding I wholeheartedly agree with you in regards to goin broke for a bunch of people who won't even be there when you experience the ups and downs of marriage. I always preferred intimate not so flashy settings/accessories/clothing etc. Every now and then it's cool to go all out but At the end of the day it's the marriage that matters not the wedding.

[@niccpatrick964]

New subscriber, here, and already, I love your channel! Although I'm equal parts introvert and extrovert, I completely agree with you on this topic. Most people think I'm crazy to not want a wedding ceremony, when it truly isn't what's most important! At the end of the day, a wedding is, simply, a way to include your loved ones in the process, but none of the guests will be necessary to sustain and maintain the marriage. Also, the ring is just a symbol... If you lose the ring, it breaks, or is stolen, the love remains. 💙

[@folakemiokiji6140]

Loved this video!! You really don't need a ring to signify you're married!!! Yessss!

[@temiadesina]

thanks babe you're so right

[@241Genevieve]

interesting I feel the same but mainly not wanting a western white marriage. I just want a tiny tradational one, so we can be married in culture. (not sure if that makes sense). however because to make it legal in the UK I always plan on having a court marriage. it's a shame even in Nigeria that we need to do this for marriage to be deemed as legal.

[@Eddiecation]

You really nailed it. It comes down to tradition. Most people are followers and will do things because "it's tradition" and not question it. I'm an extrovert and I still knew I wasn't having a huge wedding or wearing a diamond ring. LOL!

[@kangoselassie7218]

same here hunny we ilabrated our 10yrs of marriage, no ring or wedding was not about to pay for fake family to back stab me in the end and it did hurt my family but hey life go on

[@bahatiyake8347]

You're fine, I also didn't have a wedding & no rings! we're doing good & am happy.

[@azumi19able]

I appreciate your beliefs. Thanks for sharing.

[@jesslocd]

Girl yess! I just got married last week. We eloped at the court house. I've had the hardest time making people understand that me not having a wedding is not because I can't afford it, but because I genuinely didn't feel the need to have one. Like you I just never grown up dreaming it. Plus i've always felt that it's more special when it's just you two as opposed to a crowd of folks just there to spectate lol. He and I are also starting a business and would rather put the money there, than waste it on flowers and food to give away. No thanks! #nowedding #nodebt #wegood

[@temiadesina]

EXACCCTTTLLLLLLYYYYYYY my sentiments exactly and then you can never please people after you ate all the food and danced you will still complain and say the food didn't have enough salt or the dj wasn't playing the right songs. Please sit down

[@TheKhrissss]

I'M THE SAME WAY!!! I don't like attention or leaving my home really either! Be it recognition, praise, anything 😩😭. I try to force myself to go out and be sociable because sometimes it makes me feel like life is flying by and i am missing experiences but i really love being at home 😩

[@wildflower462]

Good for you two. My husband and I didn't have a wedding either. We just went to the courthouse and that was it. Of course the extended family was really upset...so much so that we only received one wedding gift. No biggie. The whole wedding process was a hot mess, loss of friends, ppl you haven't heard from in over 2 years being invited, ppl over charging just by saying the name wedding, a future mother-inlay going to cover the chimney of a building, just cra cra. Hence eloping.

[@tracey-annwisdom2874]

I'm single as hell, but you sound a lot like me. Lol! I lived the same sheltered lifestyle in the country part of Jamaica too. I couldn't even look next door too hard. My pastors are Nigerian, and I mentioned the other day that if I'm getting married, I want to elope. You woulda thought I'd blasphemed the Holy Spirit right at the altar. Oh my goodness! They spent an HOUR trying to tell me I'm being selfish and what about what the man and his family would want, etc. I ain't marrying his family and he ain't marrying mine. If we get to the point of marriage, then it'd mean we're on the same page, no? So I need to find me someone who hates the hoopla as well. Lol Also, I'm cheap, hate crowds--I'm wary of people in general (good luck finding a man then, hunny), flowers send my sinuses into fits, the garter retrieval thing makes me gag, and the whole PRODUCTION of it all just makes me wanna hyperventilate. I tell everyone that they'll just see an email from me with the subject line, "WE GOT MARRIED!!!!" and a pic from the courthouse or beach or wherever. Just me, the dude, the pastor, two witnesses (one of whom will be my awesome photog friend), #theend. I know some family members will malice me for life, and my mother will grumble until the Rapture, but MY wedding is not gonna be about what YOU want. I want a ring though, but ix-nay on the diamonds and whatever. I'm not trying to get held up on the road for some impractical bling.

[@sieshadees]

I love your way of thinking as far as your moral values you still got married you just did it your way!!! That's good to me