Limmy's Show: Laptop

[@thomas_2412]

Teacher: "don't worry, the listening test is not that hard" The listening test:

[@peter-ut1eq]

😂

[@SemiMono]

Even the auto captioning ai got an F.

[@bigman9970]

Aye fuck off ur not funny

[@murderousjarvis]

You must be deaf if you can't hear it all.

[@joelagrue8266]

Bh

[@gfindlay1376]

Possibly the best sketch on the show that isn't connected with any of the reoccurring characters.

[@Checkyoselfb4]

g Findlay she turned the wains against us

[@my_other_account6008]

@Isak Dahl going down a 1 way street, the wrong way? 🤣

[@vacuumboots69]

Step da touched him

[@blakebailey22]

Nah, I would say WKUK is the best

[@lucacottle5692]

He is a reoccurring character tho

[@sadgiraffe6669]

"how about I give you something more valuable than a laptop." "like what" Captions:"methane"

[@realcartoongirl]

i heard "nothing"😂

[@emp437]

I turned captions off after i read methane 😂😂😂

[@SahilP2648]

Fun fact: methane can be found in farts which makes it even more hilarious xD

[@pepperprovasnik]

Meth then

[@jenbervis4352]

Imagine needing captions lmao

[@TheSuperQuail]

Limmy ain't parting with his Counterstrike.

[@____7465]

Yeah you can see that going through his brain haha

[@mrlocorio4291]

Counter-Terrorists Win.

[@jamnmikefx]

Eurotruck simulator

[@RobeonMew]

or Minecraft

[@slinkerdeer]

Lol captions said "its a fucking laptop!"

[@iamthecommentman]

02:06 he literally dies like an NPC

[@SahilP2648]

That was the first thing I noticed and I was lmao literally

[@Corzappy]

Usually your body goes limp when you get your cranium absolutely obliterated by a man slamming his 2001 Toshiba laptop onto your skull. If he didn't die it would probably be more stiff and he'd probably curl up or maybe spasm from the head trauma

[@SahilP2648]

@@Corzappy xD

[@cl759]

☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

[@mcbadrobotvoice8155]

*CRITAL HIT*

[@D1GDUG]

Captions / Subtitles from a Glasweigan. *Guy* : Alright mate? *Limmy* : Alright. *Guy* : Are you lost? *Limmy* : Lost? No mate cheers. *Guy* : It's just you dont look like you're from around here, y'know? *Limmy* : I'm not, just passing through. *Guy* : ... What's that in your bag, is that a laptop aye? *Limmy* : Aye *Guy* : aha I wish I had a laptop, man. *Limmy* : Ach you're not missing much; you can do half of the stuff on your phone nowadays can't you? *Guy* : Right, aye. You wouldn't miss it then, eh? *Limmy* : Well, I wouldn't say that. I've got quite a lot of - *Guy* : Gies (Give me) your fuckin' laptop! *Limmy* : ... Don't mate. *Guy* : I'm not your mate, gies the laptop! *Limmy* : I'll tell you what, how about I give you something more valuable than the laptop? *Guy* : Like what? *Limmy* : My time. *Guy* : I don't want your time! I want your laptop! And I'll have your phone anaw (anaw=and all=as well) *Limmy* : I know you're hurting. *Guy* : What? *Limmy* : I know you're hurting. *Guy* : Don't try to work me out! *Limmy* : Am I wrong? You've got to be hurting to do what you're doing. Robbing people, robbing them of stuff that's important to them. Knowing how much that will hurt them but not caring. I think the only way you can live with that, is because people have hurt you. But they didn't care, so why should you have? Well, I care mate. Alright? Take the laptop, take the phone anaw I can always replace them, but talk to me! Tell me how you got into this mess. You never know, might just help you out of it. *Guy* : Alright. What have I got to lose. So about 5 years ago, I had this big fall out with my step-Dad. Like, ken [y'know] this couch he got off of his brother? Sort of carrying it along and we get a bit knackered no (y'know) like, and stop for a wee break. So were sitting down and were chatting away, getting on brand-new. Then after about 3 or 4 minutes- Fin

[@spectral1064]

I understood most of it, but you cleared the rest of it up. Thank you.

[@alvisetancredidellaporta3228]

that fin got me

[@alasterkenway9773]

Thank you so muchhh!! As an Asian lad I've studied many accents but this is some nut job level (thx m8)

[@GlennSantoso]

Soo much thanks. Good work mate!

[@gobelgomen4143]

I needed this 😅

[@thetruth5084]

You had the perfect opportunity to change this mans life but now he'll never trust anyone again

[@AyeAyeKane]

good chance he won't even remember

yeah he shattered 3 of the fellas vertebrae guys paralyzed for life won't forget that soon.

[@DrakodanSRL]

It's not real.

[@pussycats456]

Fuck him! He’s a robbin Dobber!

[@nake89]

@@DrakodanSRL Your rectum isn't real.

[@dreads9536]

*Glaswegian walks into a patisserie* "Is that a Macaroon or a meringue" "No you're right enough pal"

[@crumblecrow1643]

Just tried to wipe an eyelash off my screen.

[@stephenoldham9586]

@@crumblecrow1643 Me too mate. For a good ten seconds before I realised.

[@gunsharck]

@@stephenoldham9586 Ya couple o fannies lol

[@tswizz4268]

2 years later and the "eyelash" tricked me too

[@medalion1390]

@@tswizz4268Use Dark Mode and you’ll never fall for it again.

[@Timbobs]

The auto-generated captions are having a stroke.

[@pabloascencio7397]

They're doing their fucking best, okay.

[@Timbobs]

@@pabloascencio7397 I know, but maybe someone should call 911 just in case.

[@berlinocelot]

She's turned the captions against us...

[@tomimpala]

1:00 "A meringue?" I'm fucking dying.

[@joonefps]

WHEN HE SAYS AM I WRONG IT SAYS MERINGUE

[@alpharisc]

I almost died when I watched this. It brings me endless joy

[@Kelly14UK]

Aye. Protagonist won big time.

[@brahimilyes681]

It would bring me joy as well, if I understood a single a word of it beside "laptop".

[@gunsharck]

@@brahimilyes681 Learn Caledonian

[@gunsharck]

Shame that, im not lucky enough

[@bartholomewlyons]

😄😄😄😄😄 this is so funny ahahahahaaa

[@OzMediaOfficial]

reverse iroh

[@dhanlon870]

I’m glad you found your way

[@JBLebosada]

HHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

[@kotarojujo6365]

Damien

[@TheManinBlack9054]

true

[@CodfishJoe]

Hori

[@iBoondox]

Rip Benny Harvey, miss you big man

[@shockwalton4361]

Gone but not forgotten

[@psmanici4]

Is this how he died?

[@psmanici4]

It was limmy all along

[@Tony36271]

Never a day goes by without me saying to myself, Benny would absolutely love this.

[@gilles466]

gone but not forgotten

[@Seminal_Ideas]

The acting on each sketch is flawless. Talented people. I wish Limmy would give us more of his wonderfully skewed comedy.

[@bluekhakis1073]

Have you watched Limmy's Homemade Show?

[@munmunyee]

1:20 Despite the sketch format, the minimalistic post-production really allows the talent of the actor to shine through. I believed in the hurt in his eyes.

[@calummccracken1154]

Comedian Brian Limmond Was Seen Assaulting a Homeless Man at a Block of Flats in Glasgow

[@calum1741]

Aye

[@lewis821]

Sounds fairly plausible

[@Davenzoid]

Ya meant apartments?

[@erikruder3360]

@@Davenzoid I don't think he did mate

[@gunsharck]

@@Davenzoid Lloydspharmacy one word

[@joaquinbarbosa3904]

The ragdoll physics on this is amazing

[@KarlHerzog]

This was my first Lemmy sketch. I understood nothing but was intrigued. After completing everything it was recommended again and it's like day and night!

[@jockmackay9582]

Check out "she's turned the weans against us" ( if you haven't already)

[@Charlie-X-Ray12]

Only one I have found, just discovered it.

[@prodigalretrod]

The supporting cast in this show are great - all good actors!

[@HalfdanVT]

thats a purple burglar

[@dukranli]

*pohrpol bugalarr

[@jpm199]

He didn't need a purple burglar alarm

[@smilessantana2049]

The funniest part is how he casually looks at his phone as he walks away like it's just another day lol

[@bobsnow6242]

This is an average day in Glasgow tbf

[@nevertrustgoogle]

​@@bobsnow6242is Glasgow full of specky bums?

[@benf340]

This is probably the hardest one to understand

[@leoncook524]

I Hate PT Cruisers can you no understand scottish

[@88omair]

Gies yer laptop

[@kdmedia1534]

I find this easier to understand than some heavy English or Australian accents.

[@SensitiveDilemma]

I beg yer parden!

[@clray123]

Can someone translate it into human language please?

[@elizabethkierere5806]

Once your ear adapts to their accents, this is really funny stuff.

[@Will_Hallett_Art]

Spotted the American

[@brickrar]

@@Will_Hallett_Art aus and it started off as legit gibberish

[@jzen1455]

Closed captioning gets it totally wrong.

[@Potaogirl-qm3ys]

As someone born in Scotland, I’m proud of you.

[@TheAluvisify]

@@Will_Hallett_Art Not everyone who speaks English on the internet is American mate.

[@Edboy33]

2:06 the way this man takes his last breath lmao

[@victorradial1179]

xD

[@kingstannisbaratheon7974]

What i'd give to be able to see that scene again for the first time.

[@bartholomewlyons]

It is funny as many times as you watch it, with the build up, the sad background melody when he tells the story and as soon as he bows his head, gets hit by the laptop 😄😄😄😄😄

[@DaNuker]

Limmy : " Am i wrong?" Auto Captions : "meringue" 1:00 lmao

[@ANONYMOUS43Y3R]

You have an underrated channel wallpaper.

[@JoeZUGOOLA]

That mans coat would be worth more than a laptop these days

[@omegs]

To a finnish person, this sounds like Chinese

[@thedave7760]

I grew up in Aus and have spent half my life in England so I have no problem with speaking English at all some would say I am quote good at it although my spelling is a bit suspect sometimes, but I can get about half of the words he is saying he is speaking English but with heavy Scottish accent. I have been to Scotland quite a few times over the years and have never encountered such a thick accent as this. I think it's from Glasgow.

[@Juniper458]

Don't worry I'm English and it sounds Chinese to me also

[@loch502]

@@thedave7760 It's Glaswegian, the actual comedian who the show is named for is from Glasgow iirc. Not a shock most people don't really understand it since Scots is practically its own dialect.

[@Schwaaaang]

I live in England and this is in all likelihood Chinese

[@DigBipper188]

I'm a Brit. We live pretty muchg next door to 'em... doesn't make it easier when they have a really heavy accent XDD

[@andreiosypchuck5081]

"How about I'll give you something more valuable than a laptop?" "What?" "Methane"

[@tammushican4823]

Turn on captions at 0:43 "How about I give you something more valuable than a laptop?" *"Methane."*

[@prla5400]

Let's go to the local milk dairy eh?

[@ralek592]

Love how he drops like a ragdoll and Limmy is like "Lol funny meme"

[@MrDevidu]

Genius. Truly. This show was gold.

[@pgrothschild]

Literally burst out laughing first time I saw this, Limmy really made us feel for this character and then suddenly... BAM lol

[@andrewclark1758]

A translation for anyone who struggled with the accent: Mugger: Alright mate? Limmy: Alright? Mugger: You lost? Limmy: Lost? No mate, cheers. Mugger: It's just you don't look like you're from around here, no? Limmy: I'm no, just passing through. Mugger: What's that in your bag, that a laptop, aye? Limmy: Aye Mugger: Ah, I wish I had a laptop man. Limmy: Ah you're not missing much, you can do half the stuff on the phone nowadays, can't you? Mugger: Right, you wouldn't miss it then eh? Limmy: No, I wouldn't say that I've got quite a lot of - Mugger: Give me the fucking laptop! Limmy: Don't mate. Mugger: I'm not your mate, give me your laptop! Limmy: I'll tell you what, how about I give you something more valuable than the latpop? Mugger: Like what?! Limmy: My time. Mugger: I don't want your time, I want your laptop! I'll have your phone and all (as well)! Limmy: I know you're hurting. Mugger: What? Limmy: I know you're hurting. Mugger: Don't try to work me out! Limmy: Am I wrong? You've got to be hurting to do what you're doing. Robbing people, robbing them of stuff that's important to them. Knowing how much that'll hurt them but not caring. I think the only way you can live with that is because people have hurt you but they didn't care so why should you, eh? Limmy: Well I care mate. Now right, take the laptop, take the phone as well, I can always replace them. But talk to us! Tell me how you got into this mess, you never know, it might just help you out of it. Mugger: Alright. What have I got to lose? It was about five years ago, I had this big fall out with my step dad. Like, getting this couch he got off his brother, sort of carrying it along and we get a bit knackered you know like "we'll stop for a wee break" so.. We're sitting down and we're chatting away getting on brand new (really well) then after about three or four minutes he-"

[@Infinity_Gamer10]

Holy shit, I wasn’t expecting that. I was too busy trying to focus on what the hell they were saying.

[@CodfishJoe]

"you can do half the stuff on your phone nowadays" The half you can't do on your phone: 2:06

[@xbenci]

didn't understand a single word besides laptop

[@BK-201]

same :D

[@BK-201]

or maybe 1 more word - "alright"

[@leporid257]

there's a comment doing subtitles a little up, visible via top comment sorting

[@derangedcrouton1864]

You good yeh Aye That's a laptop you have in there innit Yeah You can do lots on that eh Yeah we got phones now that can do all that stuff nowadays though innit GIVE US YOUR LAPTOP Listen I know your hurt You what Your hurting. Else you wouldn't be robbing people now would ya Sod off Tell us then Well my da and I we found a couch and all we'd take it out, have chats with a wee bit of break (breakfast) and after 3 or 4 minutes (Smash) Basic rundown not word for word. I don't want to go through the entire script

[@derangedcrouton1864]

@Mr Respectable "why kill me"

[@DangItRed]

that's the funniest thing i've ever seen, i love the doll replacement in shows and movies whenever someone gets mauled, it's obvious but that's the best part

[@DRAGONS147]

This is one of the best comedy sketches i've ever seen over the years.

[@coolterminator99]

Benny Harvey RIP

[@loKillominecraftXD]

GBNF

[@lefti8370]

1:55 it looks like even Limmy can't understand his accent and is just playing along

[@kdmedia1534]

No, just you that doesn’t understand it. This is how he speaks. Your shitty attempt at humour wasn’t funny.

[@Brib8888]

@@kdmedia1534 wow, the youtube comments section is as unnecessarily brutal as always

[@kdmedia1534]

@@Brib8888 What can I sayyyy except you’re welcome?

[@henry7696]

the edit is perfect. really one of the best cuts ive seen on the telly in ages

[@noobermin]

Probably broke his laptop, though...

[@MichaelrDolan]

Well worth it.

[@dhvsheabdh]

@@MichaelrDolan she's shite

[@____7465]

Its a hefty weapon

[@kevshearer3245]

hes not missing much

[@johndarland3633]

It's fine, he had repair and support plan from currys pc World

[@TwistableGolf]

oliver tree's looking a bit rough now

[@scarymonsters9130]

This looks really sad, really wish it was in English :/

[@jakobchristensen7860]

Yes the ending is really sad

[@marvil9205]

im three months late but AND SUPER CREEPS

[@hriddhimandutta6597]

What are you talking about mate this ain't English

[@monarosberg6036]

Dieggo

[@omairsh8]

Can these comments just die already on limmy videos

[@tommcthornberry1064]

Coming up on the 10 year anniversary of this gem

[@ralek592]

Love how when he tells his story the captions somehow turn it into a story of how a coach got off his brother.

[@LowescC]

.heartwarming........

[@Pope_Juice]

Brought tears to my eyes, beautiful

[@fishfashfosh]

I’d like to think that he couldve caved him in anytime he’d like as soon as he was baffled but he chose not to do it and had him reminiscing about his past first before doing it. Now that is really psychological

[@buzzin_fly7509]

Haha emotional scarring him

[@diavasmamevroxi]

I understood nothing but this still got me in tears

[@totalrecall4131]

THIS HAD ME CREASED! FIRST TIME SEEING IT.. ANOTHER LIMMY BANGER

[@puertoriconnect4611]

What does he say at 1:39. To me it sounds like he's saying, "I had dustbag photo with my step dad". I can understand everything else perfectly clear, just this one line I can't comprehend.

[@avrathilelmheath5538]

"I had this big fall-out with my stepdad" I believe is what he's saying.

[@Rossilaz58]

I had a big fall out with my step dad

[@Yarp-xj3rd]

A big falling out.

[@chrispowell8121]

'I know yet home what year a meringue' Never has anything more powerful been said.

[@jacquesmesrine8031]

Im from Chile, living in Scotland for over 10 years and Limmy sketches like this one have been absolutely instrumental for when i had to understand the psyche of the boys at the construction site when i worked as a labourer. In fact, this sketch its the kinda story you'd hear from my fellow labourers at the tea break. And as a foreigner i still dont know whether its outrageous, hilarious or just weird af 😂

[@Xottapchenko]

Chile is the best country in Chile!

[@jacquesmesrine8031]

@@Xottapchenko aye bud. We help youse getting the Falklands cos we don't like Argentines

[@Xottapchenko]

@@jacquesmesrine8031 dude, I’m Russian

[@jacquesmesrine8031]

@@Xottapchenko I could not be happier for you. You belong tae Glasgow then pal. You must be overwhelmed with the support you're getting these days

[@oight]

i'm scottish and that's amazing hahaha. appreciate the thought about the falklands/malvinas although most of us here don't care about it. that was just the government. chile even can have it.

[@Seminal_Ideas]

The nasal drawl and slow delivery is pitch perfect. Along with Limmy himself the supporting cast are talented.

[@RandomDude647]

i like to think that Limmy is playing the same character as the guy in "do you wish you could fly?". he just convinces people who are feeling down to do anything for his own benefit or for a laugh

[@АндрейСнайперКузнецов]

AutoCaptions: Are you venomous, Anna? Whatever you do, stay away from Anna.

[@LaurieKiwi]

Aye the laptop's broke now but nay bou'eur.

[@jjj8317]

Sounds like reading Macbeth after licking baterry acid

[@SirWickedDude]

0:31 - Caption "Are you venomous Anna" Deep.

[@jjrussell_gallery]

The way he slumps gets me every time 😂

[@malcolmjcullen]

Same laptop bag as me. It's got an "airbag" in it, apparently.

[@Osmann45]

Airbag? Like a cars airbag? You're gonna have to explain that

[@RahulYadav-hq2yy]

Teacher: The listening task will be easy to understand. The listening task:

[@CK-ov6bj]

He didn't even care about his laptop, he just wanted to hurt him for messing with limmy, that's why he hit him with his laptop.

[@KMEECHY]

The noise at the end of the sentence at 1:27 perfectly demonstrates Glaswegian. To translate, he says “out of it” but he says it like “oot ae it” but merges it together to make the sound “ooaeih”.

[@ooftygoofty5711]

No it perfectly demonstrates someone who needs to take speech therapy

[@addresssimilar3738]

Might just help you out

[@asterginete3812]

At 0:47 I thought he said "My thing"

[@softtaco3991]

when the story is so painful you're not concerned about the mugging anymore

[@Gerrypotterpoet]

Yes this is a sketch, most definitely a sketch but the expertly pathos written and brilliantly subtle performances from both actors are way beyond the boundaries of the sketch format. There's a wealth of story being told here, so much about the human experience. Then bang! Love it. Gx

[@fraserhshehe4319]

Gerry Potter-Poet fuck up

[@crabato001]

??? Everyone knows its a sketch Limmy's show is a popular SKETCH show idiot, also why are you signing your comments like some narcissistic prick? Fuck off would ya

[@puffpastri]

what's popping

[@MrGenedancingmachine]

Gerry Potter-Poet relax there tosser

[@god-xy1hc]

ok boomer

[@hankwicklund2182]

1:00 When you see a confectionery made of whipped egg whites and sugar

[@srenknudsen5201]

hahahhaha i laughed out loud

[@jockmackay9582]

Am ah wrang?

[@YOYO-mx6ie]

This is Arden carnwardic thornliebank kennishead in 2019

[@pixiwix]

Several years ago, this video was my introduction to the Limmysphere. Still here.

[@rhys2002]

I jumped so hard at the end

[@logan3576]

The funniest part to me is that they missed the head completely, but kept the take lmao.

[@1fareast14]

Head injury in the name of comedy isn't worth it

[@logan3576]

@@1fareast14 agreed! But he hits a mannequin lol. They could have just done another take.

[@El__Silbon]

The way he swung that laptop, was like a viking in execution mode, I don't think it mattered where he struck - that was a kill shot lol

[@LeeRobinsonn]

Never laughed so much in me life

[@tehonlyFreeman]

oh i actually wanted to hear the end of that story 😪

[@joannemc27]

Belter....didny expect that lol :)

[@Darren-f9z]

I think limmy wrote this out of frustration of growing up in Scotland. Im also from north east of england and get the words fine. Scotland and the north east share the same slang

[@AnAwkwardlyPlacedSausage]

Can barely understand a word of this, only Limmy is translatable lol

[@KC-bg1th]

From the little I’ve seen of Limmy, this video has the exact same energy as his streams.

[@fayizmujeeb8041]

*Excited for the english translation*

[@apertureemployee215]

Man, Limmy has beautiful eyes

[@solomon5ty]

Such an underrated program!

[@hamsterdoom360]

Watching this is amazing. You almost get the sense that they're communicating. Somehow.

[@TheMicrogram]

Was just thinking of this sketch this morning, strange :)

[@garrysmith815]

of course you were thinking of it when you decided to watch it

[@sneakycheeky531]

The Microgram was thinking of replying to your comment today and when I her send it replied. Strange

[@sneakycheeky531]

Hit *

[@davidmelvin7147]

Are u a wizard?

[@shamusbob7969]

As much as your comment means Recommendations, this is fucking hilarious out of context. Like if you rented a movie and while you were watching it you were like "was just thinking about this movie on the way home, weird"

[@SM-ok3sz]

I pressed the CC button and my phone turned off

[@tobynsaunders]

For those wondering: KZbin's closed captions are highly inaccurate for this video.

[@numberonedad]

this show is such a great combination of mundane and surreal that i imagine very well reflects scotland

[@Shmeve0]

Who has the balls to actually do this when they are getting held up

[@bedford4383]

Limmy.

[@Roguhr]

to be fair, it wouldn't work, you'd find yourself on pointy end o the blade there. junkies don't want fixed, they just want their fix.

[@Shmeve0]

@@Roguhr true

[@Andy9grey]

Watched it twice cause once wasn’t enough - still pissing myself 👏

[@wesleyh.2397]

0:14 what does he say here it's been a while since watching limmys show

[@WakiTheCroc]

"It's just you don't look like you're from around here, now."

[@wesleyh.2397]

@@WakiTheCroc thanks!

[@tomimpala]

"It's just you don't look like you're from around here, no?"

[@aidangreen419]

Love the way his body just slumps after giving way

[@mcgelloe]

So this is what English sounds like to people who don't speak English?

[@antonxuiz]

Nope, phonetically sounds different (nicer to me lol). Different r's, different vowels, the fluidity... to us standard English sounds like when limmy speaks like he's from the us or england.

[@SensitiveDilemma]

Hell no, I can't even understand a single word they are speaking except the Word laptop lol

[@toasthead]

@@SensitiveDilemma you are earliterate

[@Tiotic_Destiny]

More like Polish for people who don't speak Polish

[@toasthead]

Crazy this man went on to murder villagers

[@nollix]

this is easily one of the funniest comedy skits i've ever seen in my life

[@BRIDGES102]

I 'laptop'd that up. Laptop Laptop Laptop Laptop. Say Laptop 17 times in a row. - out loud mind - it stops sounding like a real word. Same wae Strimmer

[@drexlspivey5828]

I did that once with 'tractor' In the end I started doubting the word even existed

[@addisonm.2685]

That accent is so thick I can’t tell what he’s saying half the time. It’s awesome

[@ponacykasztan5262]

Unfortunately I don't speak any russian so I don't have any clue on what's going on there

[@kdmedia1534]

That’s good as this isn’t Russian. You muppet.

[@drt8990]

I tried this approach once and ended up in A&E with a punctured lung.

[@INeedJesus4sure]

Danish is a weird language

[@cocobunitacobuni8738]

This was my first Limmy video.

[@yurtle13x]

Is this a new language

[@garyking1986]

Old as time

[@anfrac3700]

This is like bartering with the thief in Skyrim and killing them after