Living in the UK: Things I wish I knew | Lessons Learned

[@nontozamotsetse1289]

This was really informative, thank you so much. 😊❤

[@anu_T95]

Hello, get thick fluffy socks, thermals - camisoles/ vest , warm trousers- get the ones which are lined. Uniqlo has a good collection at reasonable prices Shoes go in for trainers which are suitable for hiking / walking. Wear a jumper and socks inside during winters to keep heating bills down. Try and find free activities in your area - there are plenty especially in London.

[@PsychIRL]

This is so helpful thank you! I have noticed that trainers do feel warmer than boots which is very different from shoes I’d “go for” in South Africa. I’ve also been living in Uniqlo to be honest but their heat techs (which I was told were the best) didn’t do much even with layering so I double up 😂. The lined thermals are the best but I need oversized pants for those cause they are so thick 😫 but we are learning and I’ll definitely come back to this when the winter starts creeping in so thank you! 😊 When I get to a stage where the heating bill is stressing me, I’ll befriend a hot water bottle although your face still freezes to death even with it 😅

[@louleg23]

Hi - so sorry you had such a lonely start to living in the UK. Yes, we Brits do tend to be reserved (in the South at least, people tend to be friendlier up North) that must've been tough. Very glad to hear things are looking up now!

[@PsychIRL]

Hey hey, things are definitely looking up and I’m grateful for it. I’ve learned to show grace to how people are here and that’s made me more understanding and not personalise things. I guess I also navigate spaces very differently than I usually would now that I have this understanding. I need to visit the North more I’ve been consistently hearing good things about it! 😊

[@louleg23]

@@PsychIRL oh I'm so glad - and yes it's SO not personal it's just sadly how it is down here, I suspect it's down to a general lack of space in the south east, especially London (I'm from South London) but it does thaw eventually! My husband's from the North and when I go up there I'm still taken aback how immediately open people are, it's lovely.

[@Izzymill]

Perfect account of living in the UK. it's not easy - I wouldn't advice anyone come especially now out of Europe

[@PsychIRL]

I don’t I think not advising is a strong stance, I always encourage people to because our experiences are very different and they might be shied away from something they’d experience completely differently but I do share some more realistic perspectives of what those who went before them have shared as being their experience so they can approach it with an openness of knowing that if things get hard they are not alone.

[@BiNcedisana]

But yes i agree my mental health went down a bit in uk

[@lemonzest77]

Sis how are you from Matat and you're not used to cold weather? 😂

[@PsychIRL]

In my defence it's only the mornings and evenings that are cold in Matat when the sun comes up it gets warmer. Here, there's no sun coming up it's the ice cold wind from the mountains we get and that's all day for 3 to 4 months then it stays cold the rest of the year and just never really gets warm and the Matat warm weather breaks make the winters bearable 😅

[@lemonzest77]

@@PsychIRL oh man. Hope you'll get used to it.

[@BiNcedisana]

I didnt have a problem dating in UK. You have to be open to dating apps

[@PsychIRL]

Yes, I feel dating apps are how people find partners, I've always just struggled with the concept of swiping through people in a literal sense even though one might argue we do that in person as well. I still hoped for more in person experiences but I guess one needs to move with the times.

[@Rebecca-bz6ph]

If you’re trying to date British men know that they are kind of dry. They take time to crack compared to some other more forthright countrymen like Americans. Also it sounds like you have a lot of things about the uk you don’t like. If you can’t find ways to talk nicely about British culture it might be hard to connect with a British man. Also I’m not sure whereabouts in the UK you are but cities have different flavors. Generally speaking the north is warmer than the south. Shop staff have made small talk with me my whole life in the north but down south especially in London people might not. I hope you find some ways to enjoy the uk. I hope you make some British friends and learn from them rather than sticking to a South African bubble. I’m British myself and living in South Korea right now and so I get it’s hard. The key is to assimilate and be open minded to the locals ways.

[@PsychIRL]

Hey Rebecca, thanks for sharing this. Very open minded about dating so not just focused on trying to date British men and have found some things I’ve appreciated which has made the experience meaningful. Focused on the negatives because those felt like things that made it harder that I hadn’t anticipated but like I said it gets better. Yes, the South isn’t the friendliest which is where I’m based and coloured my experience. Hope you’re also finding ways to make the most of your experience, I’ve had friends live in South Korea for several years and described having more challenging experiences than I could even begin to imagine.