How Schizophrenia Affects our Communication | Relationship Series

[@LivingWellAfterSchizophrenia]

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[@Marc16180]

When I first became aware of my/our plurality, I sat down with my husband to talk specifically about how to talk about our spousal mental health situations going forward. We agreed that we would be fully open and honest with each other about how we were feeling or anything we might notice in the other. We recognize that we cannot discern mental health problems in ourselves as well as the other might notice, so the open communication is very important for us.

[@elliyo4286]

Having BPD I struggle a lot with fighting with my partner. But it has gotten so much better, through therapy and working on myself. :) we use safe words when it gets too much, have pauses. We try to say sorry when we hurt the other person. But it still is hard to communicate

[@DANRBEAM]

I know for me I worry about loosing my partner to his schdsoaffective disorder and when he’s upset he wants to walk away and shut down. I have to believe he will come back and talk to me and he does. But I find that so hard to let go and have faith it will be ok.

[@leahschaefers]

Me too

[@abbievandoorn1888]

THIS X

[@snaify]

I agree entirely with what you both have shared here. One thing that helps in my relationship with my husband is asking the other person if they are in the space for whatever the topic is before launching into things. Thank you for being so vulnerable and transparent here.

[@deena3895]

This helped my relationship with my fiance. I'm getting alot better. thank you for making this video..Your channel has been a blessing to me.

[@glorycalabrese9705]

I find that trust is a big issue when communicating with my son who falls under the spectrum. Lauren I agree taking the leap of faith of knowing and finding security in Rob’s love for you is key to combating the trust issues.

[@janismorse3921]

Wow, I know this is a year later, but my best friend/partner and I have some of these types of issues.He likes to say I don't listen to him when I do. Sometimes, I just need to ask him to be more clear in what he needs or wants. Sometimes, it is so confusing trying to understand what is trying to communicate with me. Thanks, Lauren and Rob, for your videos. They have helped me to understand him, and his needs better

[@salutsoleil3682]

Rob is an extraordinary human.

[@ChloMikell]

I so appreciate you both for all your hard work. You're truly incredible people. Thank you so so much for all you do! 💕

[@troy528986562]

It's good to recognize the other person's feelings when we're joking around and to show compassion and concern when they're not having a good day that's for sure

[@covenant157]

Horrible friggin disease 😢😢😢😢 thank you HaShem for your love ❤❤❤❤❤

[@miss_drama]

Idunno what to say other than cry because this is so so relatable and the struggles are so fucking real. Me and my partner absolutely love each other and although the struggles have led to some insane nights and times apart, we are not giving up! ❤️

[@rayconrad6971]

Living with schitzophrania being with someone with bordeline personality disorder that acts out emotions in explosive anger she needs reassurance attention and my daily episodes showing no emotion i believe that everyone wants to hurt me or get me locked away so show no trust make false accusations which set her symptoms off she explodes sending me into complete psychosis...wish us luck trying to work on finding a common ground to ease both of our outbursts because there are children involved

[@jeannepeters8181]

You two are such a great couple😊🙂🤗😍I am 57 still single with schizoaffective, bipolar, type...never been able to hold down lasting frindships/ relationships...good tutorial..!😊👩‍❤️‍👩Good for you two👩‍❤️‍👩👩‍❤️‍👩

[@rick3747]

I am 56 and I am in the same boat. There are many of us.

[@a.p.4599]

It is so hard dealing with a partner under the spectrum. Even a simple conversation with maybe a small disagreement or misunderstanding sends him into a panic attack. Then he shuts down. It’s not easy. He’s also constantly at the doctor because he thinks something is constantly wrong with his body. I love the person but hate the disorder. I just prayed tonight for patience. I would like for us to get counseling but we’re only dating now but I think it would help still with communication.

[@77777sadie]

Hope things are better. Sending you a hug and a prayer ❤

[@eddynorf]

Talk therapy and knowledge of the esoteric mind has been what’s allowed me to realize where I’m feeling what I’m feeling how I’m feeling it and trying to process my emotions into language

[@Sohralein]

thank you so much for changing my idea of this illness .. You are so helpfull! Thank you

[@timarnold6473]

You both are the coolest couple on the you tube, hope to see more of your videos on the you tube, and I really definitely enjoy watching all of your channel on the you tube ❤

[@itsonlyme1517]

Your vulnerability and honesty is refreshing and helpful. Your last comment may be one of the most important though. Communication is unique between the two people in dialogue and is a very personal thing. There may be general human truths to communication, but the combinations are unique and there’s no “one size fits all” template to use every time. It requires care, respect, selflessness and often a significant investment time to grow properly. In our instant gratification, social media saturated culture it is important to recognize you don’t achieve mutually beneficial communication quickly. Patience, perseverance, humility, vulnerability, honesty will get you there.

[@andrew13339]

Thanks for helping Understand this mental illness Unfortunately with all the work I've done the girl still doesn't want to be in relationship ever now. I don't know I am hoping I can still be friends with her. Mental illness sucks especially when you fall in love with someone that has it. Glad you guys are doing well with your relationship wish it was the same for me. Thanks again I learned a lot.

[@ninguemsmm]

It’s nice to see how you communicate and understand better ways to manage conflicts and you are very good at it, you are very open to each other. It’s very important to talk to each other, and also talking with individual therapists so you can understand yourselves and then communicate.

[@kavitadeva]

Hi Lauren and Rob. Good communication is something to me that is actually sacred. To be able say what you're feeling what you need and to know deep down that the other person is on your side and that they are an ally takes time and it takes work. What I find very difficult to understand is being that you have schizoaffective disorder Lauren how do you keep that knowingness that Rob is on your side and wants the best for you when you are really in a crisis and part of the crisis is not trusting people, feeling paranoid and your mind is playing tricks on you? That would seem so difficult and I'm curious how can you keep those truths about your love for one another your desire to grow closer and make sure each other feels loved and cared for heard and known and seen and understood when your mind is very disturbed? I truly enjoyed this video and opening up to how to be more present and more sensitive when communication gets off kilter. I wish for you both deeper trust, intimacy and love. Thanks for this exploration ❤️

[@tcort]

Thanks!

[@LivingWellAfterSchizophrenia]

Thank you!

[@Ali-yu2pv]

Thank you for your precious advice (valid for any type of relationship tbh) and for being so open.. wish you the best!!

[@russellmanweller6694]

I like schizophrenic people. I've always enjoyed the ones I've met. So it's sad that I don't really know how to be a good friend to them, because I don't really understand what they need or want. I imagine that they need human interaction, and because I enjoy there company, I'm happy to be that for them. But I've never been able to build a relationship with them, because I don't know what each person's role should be in that relationship. So I don't ever become a part of their lives, and usually just spend time with them when I bump into them on the street. But I feel bad that I don't know how to build a real friendship with them. I feel like they need real friends. All the schizophrenic people I've met have all been alone, and have no content companionship or people in their life on a daily basis. It's a shame, because they really are wonderful and interesting and friendly people for the most part. I hope they are as content as they seem to be while being in their delusional reality. They seem to be okay, other than I worry because they are vulnerable to being taken advantage of or harmed by people who have evil intentions. I always try to be kind and helpful to them. Make sure they get a ride, or have clean clothes, or are warm and dry and safe if they are homeless or need to get somewhere or acquire something. But I would like to understand them better, and know how I can help or be a better friend, because I do get something valuable out of enjoying their company when I spend time with them. Like I said, they might be somewhat out in a different place, but they are nice and interesting to be around. Usually pretty talented, artistic, and funny or just fun to spend time with and have good personalities. But they definitely aren't always living in reality, and they are not the easiest people to have realistic interactions with. It's definitely not a friendship based in reality. The only ones I've met live in a delusion all the time.

[@glorycalabrese9705]

Love your sense of humor! 😂🤣

[@BeingBetter]

I'm seeing many parallels here to my own relationship with my husband. We use sarcasm and humor to communication for the most part.

[@Angiethebhadie]

My mom often asks me to communicate my feelings and it either doesnt come out right or I dont say anything at all. Sometimes I stutter and make sounds instead of words.

[@andrewphillips-hird3761]

Honestly I think in the right context (e.g. when there is sufficient trust in the relationship) sarcastic/cutting humour can be healthy. It fits with benign violation theory - the implications of which are that, basically, taking the piss out of each other can have a poignant subtext of "people are supposed to behave in X way and you failed to meet that standard, BUT I love and accept you like this anyway"

[@glorycalabrese9705]

This is a very helpful video… thank you!

[@peternolan814]

Hello Lauren and Rob, For me while emphasising I never married the male thinks in a linear focused way - I certainly do - whereas the female can juggle many ideas at the same time and forgive me Lauren it's not that Rob is not listening to you but that like all males he might struggle like I do to cope with the multi-dimensional way of the female. I'm thrilled to see you now have 177k subscribers and growing. All the best and many thanks, Peter Nolan. Ph.D.(physics). Dublin. Ireland.

[@Har2h]

Hello Peter and Nolan, I have also watched this vid. Cool you did too. All the best and many thanks, R2R, Phat.D(orally). Assex. England

[@peternolan814]

@@Har2h I was hospitalised having schizophrenia with just the one symptom delusions in May 1987, October 1988 and November 2007. I'm 69. I have however stress induced psychosis and in that way my case is different to Lauren's and many others. All the best and many thanks, Peter. Dublin.

[@duke8708]

My gf is schizoaffective .. She had a meltdown on Christmas with her family now.. I haven’t spoken or heard from her since then.. I’m so lost on what to do.

[@AskIvy]

Thank you

[@punam2151]

I love your insights, thank you for sharing so openly. What if Rob could learn how to read your mind? There is such thing as telepathy. We just need to maybe slow down our thoughts a bit, so we could learn it better. Like children… play around with it… I’m sure we can read thoughts. These awful thoughts about him during conflict and the feeling that you can’t trust him… I don’t know if that is paranoia. We are only humans and most likely we are not perfect. Maybe it is karmic and the feelings are actually true. Just unconscious because they come from a different sphere/ past life where some people have better access to than others. I am just telling my thoughts, no clue if they are right. No judgement and the solution is definitely trust and love… always. If we dive deeper maybe healing of these feelings could happen. I also have this problem and my trauma in this lifetime was way too little to cause such feelings. And last point… females have a natural born talent to read thoughts. Because we learn from our children. One flesh, one blood. We ARE connected. Maybe read the books of Diana Richardson. Slow sex… a tantric approach for healthy relationships. Good luck!

[@kavitadeva]

Hi, thinking we could read each Other's mind or thoughts I feel is the problem not an answer. I have read that book by the way.

[@punam2151]

@@kavitadeva No,, the problem is that we are unaware if it. Nobody teaches us, so it is an undeveloped skill. It needs practice and I am sure telepathy is something we can learn, just like any other language. You wouldn’t expect to understand Chinese in a couple of months. And also we are all different in our mental capacities to learn a new language. I am not saying that this is the solution, I just see it as something that is important for the future. And we always have to start at one point. So much to say about this, it is a spiritual way… to wrap it up maybe. Thank you for letting me state my opinion. Much love…

[@kavitadeva]

@@punam2151 I understand. Thanks for further peeling of the Onion!

[@JoeSmith-pu9hi]

Great video. Time for you two to have a date night!

[@hayleyprice8345]

I struggle with communication to

[@jaiyashodanandan]

Hey i need your help I've spent 5 years with diagnosed schizo now and my triggers is mainly getting attracted to someone and falling in love. Any help for me? So i mean love causes psychosis trigger for me

[@andersonsystem2]

Good video

[@rogerclark7418]

CROSSING LEGS TRADITIONALLY - Males usually cross by resting the calf of one leg on top the opposite knee, making a open triangle with the knees-apart_upper-legs apart_crotch-open. Where as females upper-legs are parralell_crotch-closed_knees one resting the other. Lower legs are crossed.

[@davidcalvelage]

It's not entirely clear to me why the couple dynamic is contentious and not more or less calmly condensed. Best!

[@elee6606]

I think you need a direct broadcast instead of a recorded video.

[@bdegrds]

Wasn't this posted yesterday

[@rainbowtherapy3388]

Yes!

[@nikkimorris7850]

My husband is on social media too much. Please advise. 😢

[@sense0fpurpose]

Lord help me out of this spotlight. I need to see something. Oh no not literally. My stomach couldn't handle this in extreme pressure. Please let this end. Like at the end of a rope, anything just stop.

[@99bobcain]

Like looking in a mirror.. TY

[@CH3COCH384]

[@a_d_s5361]

They’re having two completely different conversations here a lot of the time. My wife has psychosis so I know the frustration.

[@robertoromerro]

I am worried about anorexic girls. I am worried about Princess Beatrices health. I am annoyed by some lack of action. I have considered that correct foodtastes offered to anorexic may help. 2 eggwhites 3 teaspoons of sugar to 4 teaspoons. one litter overall mixture, one banana, two tablespoons hunched sour cream. 2 tablespoons of whippedcream. Drink three times per day. (dont add eggyolk but perhaps just 1 one times per day). This is coolish, like the body feeling. Some exersice like dancing.

[@shahbazqazi6786]

First

[@rsjcmp2285]

She doesn’t seem schizophrenic

[@nashnamusafr]

Start niacin

[@ambassadorcartwright7720]

Not a fan of your husband, personally. I feel he could be way more supportive, and he gives off a vibe like he's just dealing with it cause he's stuck or some shit. I don't care for his tone and the way he speaks like you're a child because you have a mental illness. It feels like he's annoyed and waiting for your illness to just go away. Idk....

[@OrlanduHolySwordsman]

That's because he is stuck. And he's on the spectrum so it's going to be 10 times harder for him to leave. People on the spectrum always struggle with relationships and communicating By the way he's allowed to have his own interpretation of reality. He doesn't always have to agree with everything she says.

[@ozb10]

It's not easy having a gf with schizo. They're delusional. Always arguing, and they never seem to understand

[@ambassadorcartwright7720]

Man this video made me mad based on his "communication". He has zero good input and regardless of your diagnosis, he sounds like he could be gaslighting you in some ways. He had no response to half your comments and argues with others. You need a more supportive, compassionate and caring partner. I get such a yucky vibe from this guy.

[@hayleyprice8345]

Rob and lurain?I think those shirts are to old for you

[@brendastover267]

Wow🎉 I really appreciate watching the two of you struggle through, to a successful point. Amazing and Gracious of you both… Thank you for your expression of Love and Commitment before the World… Would love to speak with the two of you sometime…🤍

[@lorettadittrich3148]

Thanks!

[@LivingWellAfterSchizophrenia]

Thank you Loretta!