Longtime Companion: Surviving HIV in the 80s

Back in the 80s, "longtime companion" was the code that newspapers used to describe the partners of people who died of AIDS. And it's the title of one of the first films to talk about epidemic. I watched the movie last night and I've only just now stopped crying and hugging my partner long enough to make this video.
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[@jimmodes8434]

I lost my partner in 93 from AIDS, I did hold his hand and tell him to let go, it was the hardest thing I have ever done. He was such a beautiful young man, I still miss him.

[@ThePenguinbabe]

I'm so very sorry for your loss, Jim. Bless you for your love and strength.

[@christmastiger]

I'm truly very sorry. by sharing this you help their memory to live on and I think your partner would be proud of that and loves you very much

[@mylesid]

I'm sorry Sir, for your loss!

[@purplegrrl711]

So sorry for your losss

[@EyeLean5280]

I'm so sorry for your loss, Jim.

[@harrylaube770]

OMG! I remember this time too well, but it never is bad to be reminded. My husband and I met in1981 and after 34 years together(since the night we met) we are celebrating our first LEGAL anniversary in 2 days. Still amazed that we lived long enough to see this day! We still celebrate our actual anniversary (and will continue to) on March6th.! :D Thanks, Matt

[@gazepskotzs4]

Awesome message!

[@kafkaseyebrows]

belated congrats!! I hope you've had a beautiful life together so far.

[@rubencohen2936]

Because you stayed together in your relationship, you probably saved each other's lives. I was so in love with my former lover and pleaded and begged for us to stay together, but he wanted to run the roads and see other people. I had a premonition before we broke up that he was going to get infected with AIDS and eventually die. It broke my heart when it came true in 1999. You are so lucky you two have love and to be together after all these years. ❤

[@josephutsch4936]

Congratulations fellas, you're an inspiration ❤

[@Florilegium1]

Happy (approximately) 10 years!!

[@Teutonic-Twit]

Watched this movie a few years after it came out. Mainly because I am hiv+ and full-blown as of 1994. I had "tricked' with a bartender from the DC Eagle in 1980, he died in 1981. I tested poz in 1988. I stopped counting friends who had died after I hit #43, and that was around 1998 or so. My lover died in 1991 never coming out of a 2-week coma. I've had 2 poz lovers since him and both of them are still alive. It's not been a fun ride considering over half my life has been spent being hiv+, and that's 37 years now.

[@alexkx8599]

Is there some way I can chat with you to ask some questions so I can learn some things?

[@williamsiller80]

how can you be full blown since 1994?

[@InvectivePleasure]

Eugene Munn I'm so sorry. I wish I could give you a hug, you sound like you need it!

[@heaintloveu]

Wow, I don’t even know 43 people

[@vikvik16]

williamsiller80 if I remember correctly, once you get to AIDS from HIV, even when your cell counts goes up. You keep the AIDS classification.

[@hankaustin7091]

I lost 90% of my friends in the late 80s and early 90s to the AIDS virus... there's hardly ever a day that goes by that I don't think about them and all the fun times we had in the years before they died. 1, 000,000 thumbs up to you Matt, for all your wonderful work on these incredible videos, they're just fantastic to watch!!

[@edwardcooke7875]

Hank Austin I graduated from high school in 81. The 80s were so scary and I lost most of my friends. Even 30+ years later I don't think any of us who made it through will ever be able to forget.

[@LoesserOf2Evils]

According to my uncle, AIDS was called GRID for a few years. GRID stands for gay-related immune deficiency. He lived through those years, but he was only in his late twenties and early thirties. He stayed in the closet then, and he's still in the closet now. That's how he survived, especially when conservative religions and their allies began beating up gay men. He says, they blamed gays then and still blame them now for everything that's gone wrong in society. He's never experienced love, a boyfriend, even a hookup. Just fear. He may not admit he's gay to others, but I see how he looks at other men, especially ones my age. I know he's gay, even if he won't say anything. I wish there was something I could do for him, but he won't let anyone get close to him. So sad.

[@InvectivePleasure]

Sam Loesser just be there for him, and maybe express positive views about gays coming out in front of him sometime. Perhaps he'll open up. If you get the chance I mean. GL!

[@dramac333]

Your uncle is not the only one who fits this description. I am 61 years old and came out of the closet only two years ago. I am married to a wonderful woman, my best friend for over 35 years. She knew I was gay long before we married, so our marriage has everything except sex. And like your uncle, I have never been with a man. Even if I chose to change that now I am no longer healthy enough to have a sexual relationship, but I made my peace with my life many years ago. And after all that, what made me finally come out? June 12, 2016 and the massacre at the Pulse in Orlando.

[@rubencohen2936]

Don't you just love it when straight people say being gay is a choice ??? Why would your uncle choice such an awkward and confusing lifestyle. It is the way God made us and it is a misunderstood gift. I hope your uncle finds himself and love someday. 🏳️‍🌈

[@samph3315]

@@rubencohen2936 it is a choice. to deny your true self or live truthfully. I was one of those chumps who took way too long to come out (42!) and never told my parents. But I got very lucky when I met my future husband at 57.

[@rubencohen2936]

@@samph3315 Sam, I think that's terrified that you found someone very special in your life. We sometimes have to go through hard and awkward times in order to get on track. Sounds like your life is really interesting and on track with love ❤

[@zuglymonster]

I'm 37 so I grew up watching the AIDS crisis. My favorite uncle was gay and positive. My parents were never hateful or homophobic and let him stay with us in the late 80s when I know some of our neighbors would have FLIPPED had they known. Sadly he died in 1991. I wish he'd lived to see the way LGBT people have come so far and treatment for HIV has actually saved and prolonged so many lives

[@Arthur5260]

Excellent video. I'm a survivor of that period and stopped counting how many friends I lost to AIDS from 1983-1995. To include my oldest brother. My suggestion for a film would be Parting Glances. It's a fantastic film that captures the mid 80s Gay life perfectly.

[@earthworm4255]

It's so interesting watching you youngers discover these artifacts of our history and react to them. Fascinating. And also gut wrenching.

[@lpforever6273]

+Earth Worm Indeed, some of us who lived through that time only made it through by accident perhaps. Matt you might like to have a look at "A certain kind of death" (its on YT also): one sequence is the sequel to 'Longtime companion", after the first 'companion' passes away, there is no one around to care for the partner left behind and that documentary has an example of an unbearably sad death of a man from HIV, alone, without visitors ... we all need to reach out to anyone around us who needs a friend.

[@jessica23claire]

I'm a younger and I hadn't heard of this movie until I randomly clicked on this video and now I'm definitely going to check it out.

[@michaeltutty1540]

@@jessica23claire Be prepared to have your heart ripped out. Have a full box of Kleenex handy. Fabulous movie, but heart wrenching.

[@AB-qe8cs]

it's sad we're not taught these things in the education system and have to go search for it. Everything gay-related is just kept this huge secret when there's an entire history associated.

[@soft_serve_666]

My mom lost a lot of friends and a cousin to AIDS in the 80's. She isn't necessarily an outwardly emotional person. I've seen her cry maybe a handful of times in my entire life. One of those time was after watching "And The Band Played On" with her when I was 13/14. After the movie was when she opened up about the friends she lost. It really had an impact on me and made me want to research every book, documentary, movie I could on the history of AIDS in America. This movie does a great job at showing how devastating it was in the early years. Thank you for this video.❤

[@SeanDavidson727]

I haven't been able to watch Longtime Companion since it came out. That movie wrecked me. Even this video brought be to tears. If you haven't seen Longtime Companion, you owe it to yourself to grab a box of tissues and watch this amazing film.

[@caseypride]

I love this film with all my heart. I still have it on VHS (shows how old I am!)--I was one of the lucky ones, and I'm eternally grateful, but it was hard to lose so much of my crowd. I started having sex in 1978 and stopped cold turkey at the end of 1981. No sex at all for years. We didn't know condoms could save lives until 1985 or so. Even then, it was terrifying to get back into it. The freedom we had in 1978 was gone, but responsibility took its place once we knew how to deal with it. Again, I'm a lucky, lucky old thing. I'm no better than any of the guys we lost.

[@MsSoundguy]

I worked for a PBS station when this was broadcast nationwide. I was so proud of the station and the network. I've watched this movie many times since. Several characters are like guys I knew, was friends with, and who died without any sympathy from the general public...or, in many cases, from their blood families. In a way I think that decade and a half hardened my heart and made me suspicious of straight people. That continues to this day with The Truly Religious. However, two things come to mind: 1. Lesbians have never been thanked enough for the selfless help they gave patients and friends during this horrible time. (I'm a gay man who was bestowed "Ms Soundguy" by YT during a particularly frustrating episode of trying to get registered. It was one of those things that became so ridiculous I said "fine...what does it matter?") 2. "Jeffrey" is a wonderful, human comedy about the fear of intimacy in the '90s. It's worth your time. And congratulations to your friend with the Berkeley collection, an antidote to anything.

[@tommymarx391]

I loved Jeffrey.

[@shawncharles9980]

Jeffrey was SO GOOD!!!

[@rubencohen2936]

Others too are, COMMON THREADS, 1989 TEST, 2013 IT'S MY PARTY, 1996 HOUSE OF BOYS, 2009 HOLDING THE MAN, 2015 WE WERE HERE 2010 I lived these movies and the young gay and bisexual men have no idea what we went through. They need to see a piece of history to realize how thankful they are today.

[@davidthaler7018]

I watched it then too. I hadn't come out yet, but the story was no less heartbreaking--I was depressed for weeks afterward.

[@DamienMalfoy]

@@rubencohen2936 It's My Party had ne crying for days... it was the first film about AIDS I ever watched my love for Margaret Cho was born of that film... I then saw And The Band Played On... I was devastated.

[@wilv79]

My husband was a wreck watching this review. My father died of "HIV related complications". I personally feel that watching movies like this is important. They serve as reminders of how awful things were and help us appreciate how far we've come. We're lucky to live in a day and age where things like Truvada exist but that wasn't the case not too long ago. Too many people died and they should never be forgotten.

[@KyeKaiN]

WilC79 AIDS related complications

[@rubencohen2936]

Thank you for your loving comments and caring. It was a strange time for us Gay men to live and go through. I too lost friends, former boyfriends, and former partner to AIDS complications. ❤🕯

[@donlevy3141]

Thanks for talking about this film. Young gay men have no idea what it was like to live through the early years of the AIDS epidemic. It's amazing that it got made at all.

[@rubencohen2936]

I'm in the same boat. It's called survivor's guilt. 🙁

[@lawriefoster5587]

Thank you Matt for this. My Husband and I met in 1983 and we often say we saved each other's lives. We watched as many friends passed. It will be our 40th anniversary this March 13...Hurrah.....what an adventure and that we are still here for each other...Priceless.

[@sleekoduck]

Eerie seeing this two years into the corona pandemic. My cousin died from AIDS in the early 1980s, my older sister spent a lot of time with him when he was dying. I think it's part of why she's a nurse today.

[@michaelkantner6420]

I had a lover that died from AIDS related complications, not only did he have HIV, he also had Hep B, and unfortunately, because of his Hep B, his liver gave out, and the HIV medication that he was taking, stopped being effective. He passed away in the early 2000's, and I really miss him. R.I.P. Ron, I love you still.

[@johndean4727]

He 💚💚s you too.

[@michaelkantner6420]

@@johndean4727 Thank you, I know he does

[@fangsabre]

You should watch Jeffrey if you haven't already. My queer film history professor played it as the AIDS film in the curriculum instead of Longtime Companion because he watched it with his other class and just couldn't stand to watch it again so soon. It's one of the first comedies about the AIDS crisis. It's got a wonderful message about how, well AIDS sucks, more than anything else in the world, but you can't be afraid to love or laugh because if you let the fear shut you down then you're not really living.

[@shawncharles9980]

There were so many great scenes and amazing cameos in that film!

[@thegeorgeblake]

That movie informed my decision to date an incredible man who is now my husband.

[@Arthur5260]

YES! That is a great movie!

[@jwb52z9]

Longtime Companion should be compulsory viewing for young LGBT kids and teenagers.

[@essentiallykim4286]

+Jwb52z For ALL kids. They have no idea anymore about the devastation of HIV/AIDS. I've never heard of this movie. I have to go look it up.

[@jwb52z9]

essentially kim I saw it when I was a teenager a few years after it was finally on TV. I do wonder what life will be like again one day when we can actually be free of deadly sexually transmitted diseases including living with them as positive people do now. I see a couple of negatives which I hope don't come true with all of the good.

[@EyeLean5280]

I'm fortunate enough to be able to teach a class on queer cinema this coming fall to high school students. I will be including this film.

[@andreamaronn4510]

Should b compulsory 4 EVERYONE.

[@dawn5662]

How to Survive a Plague is also vital viewing.

[@johnwilliamtuckey2796]

I'm 57 year's old and remember THAT movie and the time that we lived through. Was a pallbearer 9 times in the year 1992 . No one can contemplate how horrible it was.

[@alanmac1085]

I cry everytime I watch this film. so miss my friends from the 80/90's who candle burnt so bright for so short a time.

[@FRADAVE02]

I was working in the Village during this period. Watching friends and lovers dropping like flies. I would wander the streets wondering when my number would be up. By some miracle it "passed over" me and within a few years I met someone who was in the same boat as me. We were happy for almost 30 years. He passed away last year (heart attack, although I'm sure HIV had something to do with it).

[@beartails]

Dear Matt, Try watching "It's My Party" it is a tear jerker and it is about a guy who develops aids and his partner can't handle it

[@pilgrim1952]

I lived through this, there were times I thought I'd have no more tears. Thankfully I did. [Glad Mark Finley was there for you.]

[@stischer47]

When the movie came out, I looked back at my diaries trying to place the dates in the movie with what was going on in my life. I remember discussing with two very good friends about this "gay plague" and they told me it was just people who weren't eating right and exercising. Both died of AIDS.

[@TimothyMathews]

I know when I first started making gay friends in the bay area, longtime companion, parting glances, and the band played on... were considered compulsory viewing. I wonder if today's young gays are watching these must watch films, or if they don't think they're relevant to them. I worry about that.

[@heaintloveu]

Timothy Mathews I’m 38 and gay and married legally to a wonderful man. Those movies are very relevant to us.

[@stephenberry1205]

When COVID first hit I joked to my doctor - "I tried dying in 2004 - and it did not work". My longtime companion is HIV - 39 years out of 69, since a trip to the US in October 1983... Not a good time to Come Out. I have a few acronyms reflecting on 56% of life with HIV... = Healing Inner Values; AIDS - Assists Individuals Develop Spiritually... and PML with recovery from a very sick fella - against the medical odds. Potential Miracle Land.... and... LIFE - Loving Invitation From Eternity - to grow your Heart..... Blessed with a loving partner of 25 years... like two school kids in love ...In Australia.

[@jnyfmg]

I'm part of the generation of young people who weren't around to experience this, (I'm a lesbian, and I was born in 2001.) I think it's important to learn about our history, so I spend a lot of time reading books and gay magazines and watching movies like these. My grandfather was gay, and he passed due to complications with AIDS in 1993. I never met him but I miss him every day just from the stories I've heard about him... he ran group therapy for other gay men in the late 80s to remind them that their lives were always worth living. He was a beautiful person and I wish so badly that I could've met him. I'm grateful for the people who are still here.

[@triryche3]

Every time I watch this I sob my heart out. When Willy says "I just want to be there.", the weariness & longing in his voice just breaks me!

[@QuntessentialND]

I just came across this review. Longtime Companion was the first movie about gay men that I ever saw. I remember watching it late one night when I was about 11. It caught me with beautiful men and then kept me with the story. I didn't know any openly gay men growing up, as we were a very religious household. And while this movie made me (and still makes me) sob, I was never afraid of coming out. I looked forward to having a group of gay friends that would openly welcome me, and to have a longtime companion of my own. I am thnakful that this movie was made and feel that it shoudl still be regular view for young LGBT+ people.

[@frankabate]

Thank you, 5 years later. YOu just made me cry by reminding me that, at 56, I am the only one standing. We were 12, only I survived.

[@WrenChastain]

I’m 55 and so many people i know are gone. This film will rip your heart out . The next generation coming o age have no idea of what we went through. I’m sure I have died if not quit having sex. Anytime I would mess up I would panic and get an HIV test. I remember the days when you had to wait 2 weeks for results. I had a lover /husband who was HIV+. We were both very careful and educated on safer sex He passed away several years ago. I have lost so many people esp my mom around a year ago that is killing me I am alone and I will die alone

[@WrenChastain]

People are still dying of the virus. They have not eradicated it. Just maintain/ control it.

[@Kramotac71]

😢 i don’t know what to say. I am a survivor too

[@clairenollet2389]

The scene at the end, where the surviving characters have a vision of their dead friends on the beach, caused me to burst into tears,

[@RowanWarren78]

I'm in tears. I have no words.❤️

[@williamsnyder5616]

Matt---I'm so glad you talked about this film. I was an editor at the Bay Area Reporter when it came out. I saw a sneak preview of "Longtime Companion" and it devastated me then because not only had I lived through some of these scenes, but we obviously didn't have the meds we have today. It is importsnt for young LGBTQ people to see this film and protect themselves and their loved ones with future facts.

[@GradyBroyles]

im shaking. I still haven't watched this movie. Of all the guys I was friends with when I was 21 in 1991, only three of us are still alive. I just can't bring myself to watch it. I attended at least one but as many as three funerals or memorials per week for years.

[@Greggory1987]

I witnessed the AIDS crisis of the 1980's. So many of my friends and former partners are no longer here and it still breaks my heart. I also saw the movie Long Companion when it came out in 1989. The movie is still heartbreaking to watch even after 25 years.

[@rubencohen2936]

The same here my friend. I have so many people and my soulmate on the other side. ❤ love is a powerful force.

[@marvinhedgecock5656]

I have seen this movie is have seen 15 times and it still gets to me. I am 79 years and remember that Era well. I lived in New York City for 20 years or more. I heard a lot of negative comments. Some religious groups where saying it was a judgement from God. How unkind. AIDS is not a judgment from God. In the movie I saw great compassion for each other. Thank You for the review. Marv of Utah

[@InvectivePleasure]

Marvin Hedgecock sounds like their god is an ASSHOLE! Sheesh. What a shitty way to live, just hating people you don't understand.

[@just_passing_through]

I simply can’t rewatch this movie. It almost killed me the first time around. I don’t think I’m strong enough to endure it twice.

[@lesliefitzgerald2354]

I invited a man with AIDS into my office when he had business to conduct with me. He hesitated to come to the office, fearing rejection and humiliation. After some convincing, he came to my office. I was horrified at his appearance. It was skeletal. He was thin, but his face was just flesh on skull. Almost frightening. But I welcomed into the office with open arms and found myself leading him around the office to introduce him to my co-workers, who all accepted him and shook his hand. None of us were afraid of him (we worked with nonprofit organizations and were very compassionate about all kinds of conditions. As he left, he had such a look of relief on his face that I KNEW I had done something very good. He was accepted and was treated with respect. He did die, but he at least had one moment of dignity. I know now that moment was a peaceful one for him, and I feel great about what I did. We did not know if we would get AIDS or HIV at that time of history, but we went forward and did the right thing. PS We worked together for many more years, and no one developed HIV or AIDS. That may be my proudest moment.

[@lesliefitzgerald2354]

forgot to say it was in the eighties

[@nelliejohnson-u6z]

I lost my big brother in 1994😢. He was everything to me

[@benw9949]

I took care of my grandmother for many years. She had Alzheimer's. I watched her slip away by inches. I loved her very much. But she could not live forever, and her last few years were something I would not wish on any human being. So yes, if you truly love your partner or anyone, you can be with them through the good times and the very bad times. It takes its toll. You manage to move on, though it may not be easy, it gets more possible to bear. You have to look for the good, because it is so often not apparent.

[@kmaguire7161]

The fantasy scene at the end when Campbell Scott is hugging Dermot Mulroney kills me every time. I started crying just watching the clip here and hearing you talk about it. One of my top 10 favorite movies. I should watch it again.

[@rubencohen2936]

Me too, i hope it will be like that when I cross over to the other side. I'm so looking forward to seeing all my friends and former love of my life again ! Believe in the power of love 💓💓💓

[@cor2250]

My Uncle is still alive ,he have Hiv Aids in 1981 this days last 20 years good medication 🙏🏼

[@yesimsixtyfive]

I saw the movie when it was released and once more time a few years back. A beautiful, heartbreaking reminder of those horrifying days. Lost my best friend from college, he died in 1995 and was only 37 years old. The world would be a different place if all of those young men had lived. May they all rest in eternal peace and never be forgotten.

[@jamescoffey5903]

Crying like a baby. I lived this. A group of us were close friends, say 10 or 12. One by one, they died. Some swiftly, some slowly. Some chose to suicide. Some used AZT, and did so badly the went off of it, wanting to die instead of suffering the side effects. Those left helped as best we could. We wiped butts, and called ambulances, and washed wasted bodies to try and stop bed sores. We dealt with families who had disowned their children descending like vultures to take away the things shared with the deceased partners, leaving them nothing. Out of that dozen, only two are left. We were the lucky two who could take the available meds, and were able to get past the side effects. Thank you. We need to remember this, and to never again allow it to happen.

[@TimothyMathews]

Matt, please don't forget it's not manageable for everyone. The cocktails don't work for everyone and even today people still die the way they did in the 80's despite advances in medication. I'm with Chris, I love Parting Glances. I would also recommend, with a box of tissues and someone to hug, watching 'Silverlake Life,: the view from here.' It's not fiction and the KS is not makeup. The couple died and a friend had to finish the film. Watching it is enough to make one consider becoming a celibate monk, even if, like me, one is an atheist.

[@leonwilson1089]

I am in 70's and watch a lot of friends both distance and close die. I started volunteering at a place called Karumah in 92/3 which started in the late 80's to support people living with HIV. I am 1 of the few who made it through that time still is HIV negative

[@brentbraniff]

I saw this movie back when it was out and it killed me then. That ending tore me apart. That said, recently I've had 8 people in my life pass away. 4 of them were far to young to be dying. One was a dear friend of 42 years and one was my Father. The past months have been pretty empty without them. So, I guess I know how some of this feels. When it comes to the older folks its kind of expected even though still traumatic. But the younger people, especially the ones younger than me it's at times to much to bear. So, at this point in life will I willingly watch a film like this? Probably not. Give it another few months or a year. These days I cry at episodes of Doctor Who so things are a little to fresh. Thanks for this review, tho. Very good!

[@poky1958]

i have lived with disease since 1986

[@fuzzybeargville]

I am heartbroken I lost my Partner on May 1st 2001. after months in the hospital My Douglas just couldn't fight anymore. It has taken almost 20 years before I found another man to live and love with. Douglas died of pneumonia and it was awful.The Movie can't convey the horror of watching someone you love strain to breathe, fight for every breath, fight for life. We watched this movie together many times, to honor our friends lost, living it total denial that our lives could end this way. I was a coping mechanism, its how we lived day to day well into the nineties. When it was our turn all I could do is cry. I miss him every day. The feeling never goes away. You never forget, and that is good, it comforts you on lonely nights to know once you loved and were loved. I just discovered this review. You did it beautifully, thank you.

[@MattBaume]

Thanks so much for sharing your story -- I can't imagine what it feels like to experience a loss like that, which is why it's so important to listen to people who have experienced it.

[@KnightsAndDarths]

I think this is the first time I hear you mention your relationship :) Good for you baby.

[@MattBaume]

+Knights&Darths Oh I do a podcast with James where we have lots of weird banter! It's called Defining Marriage, and it's in the iTunes store and on Stitcher and all those podcast places.

[@CountWannabe]

Watched this once and couldn't stop crying - I lived through this and saw so many people die from this including my best friend whom I knew for over 25 years he died at 30 years old. For another perspective see 'And Then There Was One' starring Dennis Boutsikaris and Amy Madigan about a straight couple trying to conceive and after many attempts finishing with in vitro the have a baby girl who gets sick and they discover that not only does she have AIDS they both do as well - have LOTS of KLEENEX handy.

[@vikvik16]

Jim H. Omg thank you I was trying to remember that movie. Both are great but you need some icecream and tissue after both

[@tommymarx391]

I watched this on PBS when they originally aired it, and I cried the entire way through. I also started asking why I was being treated differently because I am attracted emotionally and yes, physically, to guys instead of women. This movie was one of the first major influences for me in terms of refusing to accept that I am less because I am different.

[@rubencohen2936]

It had a powerful impact on your life too. Others to see are. COMMON THREADS, 1989 TEST, 2013 IT'S MY PARTY, 1996 HOUSE OF BOYS, 2009 HOLDING THE MAN, 2015 WE WERE HERE, 2010 Take care brother 🏳️‍🌈💗

[@Biotechman10]

By 1990 I had lost 22 friends. I stopped going to funerals in 1987. I had enough, I was 23. Lost my best friend, my sister lost her best friend. But I remember the first one in our group who got sick and kept it a secret. Big handsome strapping blond hairy muscular hunk. Big lovable bear. His loss was the worst, because it was a shock to all of us. One by one, we began to die. Three of us survived to make it to 2024. It was a horrible nightmare. Unless you were there, you can't imagine. Those that caught COVID at the beginning, can sort of imagine it, I am sure. But AIDS was monstrous.

[@JeffinIC]

This movie wrecked me the first time I saw it, and does so on repeated viewings. When I was 20, my mother and I volunteered as Hospice caregivers for a friend of ours who was in his final weeks, and were there with him when he slipped away. He was 42. His very conservative Catholic family wouldn't talk about him having AIDS. His obituary said he'd died after "a brief illness", another frequent euphemism of that period.

[@colourfastt]

Just rewatched the movie and am still crying. I turned 18 in 1981 and had just graduated from high school when the whole thing started. I went to more funerals and memorials than I want to remember.

[@redqueen6802]

I don't know if you have watched The Normal Heart. It's a movie from 2014 that deals with this very issue. It's based on a play. It's a great movie, with great performances. I strongly advise it.

[@MattBaume]

Oh yes The Normal Heart is great. Pretty emotionally hard to make it through, but then again so is Longtime Companion!

[@redqueen6802]

Matt Baume Agreed!

[@curvy71]

I seen that also.very good movie.i cried

[@thatgirl9759]

One of my favorite movies!

[@curvy71]

mine too.

[@peggy7744]

I just finished watching this film because of this video, and I wanted to say thanks. That's gonna stick with me, that one. How did they make it so intimate feeling, so quickly? Anyone else considering watching it, go and do it. It's lovely.

[@MattBaume]

Thanks! It's SUCH an important film for understanding what life was like back then.

[@garykelly6669]

I saw a lot of my friends lose their lives to Aids during the 1980s and 90s which was so heart breaking, I also remember watching long time companion and thinking what an amaxing and relevant film , although I found it tough to get through and couldn't stop crying as it brought back memories of my friends who had passed on

[@WilsonHardcastle]

I still can't bring myself to watch this film. I'm in tears at your commentary. Although the love and devotion exhibited during the worst of times will be a nice counter to the viciousness exhibited toward each other during the relatively good times in "The Boys in the Band," which I finally watched again last month. Both were scarring to young gays, and in very different ways.

[@TerriKash-NEO]

OMG I am weeping. Long Time Companion is a must see film. So many people just do not know what it was like back then, terrifying, and this film is like stepping back in time. It took me years to finally sit down and watch this film and it is one of the best that depicts the era. Beautiful and heartbreaking film.

[@Xenos1]

The year after this movie was made, Bruce Davidson was nominated for an Academy Award for giving the the most brilliant performance his career in it. The Academy. in a thinly veiled bout of homophobia, gave the Award to the one-note Joe Pesci. I have not watched the Academy awards since then.

[@bkdmode]

I can understand being pissed off when that happened, but you do realize that just 3 years later another straight actor, Tom Hanks, won Best Actor for playing gay man who had AIDS. I mean in 1999 I was pissed that Crash won Best Picture over Saving Private Ryan but I got over it.

[@jokerz7936]

@@bkdmode Shakespeare in Love beat Saving Private Ryan. Second year in a row the best picture lost IMO LA Confidential should had beat Titanic.

[@Mikeinthetundra]

Didn't Crash beat out Brokeback Mountain?

[@katiekuchen9694]

@@Mikeinthetundra yes Crash did beat out Brokeback Mountain which was certainly the people’s favourite

[@cameronkanachki]

Joe Pesci was incredible in Goodfellas. But Bruce Davison was at the top of his game here.

[@jeffreywelling7427]

You had me crying like a baby as I did the time I actually saw it in the theater when it first came out. The scene where he is encouraging his friend to just let go wrecked me then as much as it just did watching the clip you played. I to lost many friends from it & It made me appreciate my longtime companions even more.

[@carlroger4475]

This movie came out when I was in high school, and I was not out yet though I knew I was gay. I came out the year Philadelphia came out. My family disowned, and I moved in with my aunt and her partner Lucy. I was so scared I would get it. It seemed every gay movie about gay men they had aids or some disease...I remember watching the documentary "Bridegroom" and when the guy talked about watching "Philadelphia" saying...'I am going to die like that' I felt the same for so long. I am 47 now, and negative, but, I have had many close friends die of this terrible disease. It is nice to see the younger generation watch these films and protect themselves. This diseases is not gender specific, color blind, or a 'gay' disease. We need to keep teaching the younger people straight and gay how to protect themselves. Thanks for the video Matt, and the tears...Dermott Mulroney is still my man crush and he gets better with age every year. If you have not seen 'Bridegroom' I recommend it. If you cannot find it I have 2 copies on dvd I can send you one...so sad, but a great story.

[@skiingowl]

I can't listen to the Village People's song Ready For The 80's without crying, because nobody was ready for the 80's as it turned out. :(

[@stevenweston6563]

such an important movie!! the first time i watched it, in 1990, it wrecked me for days. what an ugly portion of our country's history, truly. i loved being an AIDS buddy. but you know what, i LOVE NOT having to be an AIDS buddy anymore!! where is the quilt, btw.

[@RobbnCO]

saw this in the theater back in the day , it still remains one of my all-time favorite movies ... and reminds me of all my friends who are not around today

[@arcadian48]

This is so special. Thank you, Matt.

[@EyeLean5280]

I lost friends and professors to the epidemic in the 80s and early 90s. I still miss them, I still cry.

[@alankent]

I saw this when it came out. I had come to terms in the early 80's at the same time I was hearing about this new disease. The impact of AIDS caused me to be very cautious sexually. By the mid 90's I had known many who succumbed to this. Here it is many decades later. So much has happened since. (impeachment, a president without the popular vote, 9/11, the economic crisis, the 1st black president, gay marriage, another president without the popular vote, Covid-19, January 6, the possible start of WWIII...) I seldom think of those who passed anymore. It is sad since there is still no cure.

[@MitchGrooms]

I LOST OVER 300 FRIENDS, IT WAS TERRIBLE, I AM 55 ANS NEGATIVE. THEY ARE ALL GONE..

[@fernandomazzini4326]

This movie is a great movie; and I like your analisis very much. I have lived mostly through a Lot of similar situations. Here in my country, only 5 cases were mentioned un the news papers un 1985. Today, two of My friends have hiv + and they have medication and are doing great. They are like brothers yo me

[@rain73ful]

Longtime Companion was an excellent movie. I'm glad I had the opportunity to see it.

[@sureyeahwhynotamiright8226]

I love this channel so much. Really makes me appreciate where we are and how far we’ve come. My heart goes out to everyone that was/is affected by this ♥️ we are one family and I love you all 🏳️‍🌈

[@PacificBlue51]

Excellent analysis Matt. And your strong compassion indicates that you get what it was like. If you lived in SF in the 80's, the experience will never leave you.An awesome film that expands on the Longtime Companion scenario is "We Were Here". An absolute must see for you Matt. And pretty much anyone else interested in the history of this epidemic.

[@esslar1]

I've loved Zane Campbell and Mary-Louise Parker ever since seeing this film many years ago. One of the best films ever made about what was going on in the 1980s and 1990s with gay men and AIDS. The ending has always brought me to tears.

[@saga4646]

I lost my whole circle of friends in the 80's and no movie captured how it was like this. Each week someone else was sick and slowly it became just you and memories. I had to move out of L.A. because the emptiness was devastating. Beautiful movie with some incredibly touching performances.

[@TheMediaDirectory]

Hi Matt. I recently found your channel and great videos and I enjoy them tremendously. Congrats on all of them!! I have just watched this one and am not sure if you made a video on this movie but in case you have not, here is my suggestion: An Early Frost from 1985 starring Aidan Quinn, Gena Rowlands, Ben Gazzara and more. I read it was the very first feature film ever about AIDS either for tv (made for NBC) or theater release. It is very powerful. Thank you and I hope you will do many more videos! ❤

[@bradleyholmes6548]

Honey, I have seen this film at least twice. Matt, thanks for reviewing this movie. It brings me to tears everytime

[@jhhone]

Saddest film ever! Every character dies! Only watched once, need to take another look. Great insight, Matt! Love all your videos!

[@benw9949]

I graduated high school in the mid-80's. Our freshman biology profs in college, some of the best scientists in the country, could not tell us at the time for sure, enough details about how HIV was passed or how it could be prevented. They had discovered it had made it through blood transfusion filtering at the time, and so were not taking gay men as donors. Ryan White, a pre-teen boy, had caught HIV from a hospital blood transfusion because he'd had an illness or medical condition. He became a poster child, almost literally, against the raging homophobia that developed claiming HIV/AIDS was only a gay disease and divine punishment and blah-blah-blah. -- It was bad enough for the straight kids growing up, but could be truly scary for the not-straight kids. Either way, if you were seeking a relationship (and/or sex) you could be risking it all. -- I was still struggling with self-acceptance. I'd had to admit to myself (duh) I was gay, but I didn't know how to deal with that, even though (oh boy, yeah) there had been clues since I was in 5th grade at least, big crushes in junior high and high school, and so on. -- I made it through those years and eventually came out, but while I was in that awful closet and not letting myself find anyone (and no one was finding me) many gay men in my generation died. -- That said, oh, I wish I had accepted myself back in school and I wish I'd had good experiences with friends to figure it all out. In the 90's, it shocked me to come home to hear on the news that Matthew Shepard had died. I would say that was one turning point for me. And the internet made a big difference for the better for me. -- So, yes, the 70's and 80's, growing up gay, were rough, with rampant homophobia, laws and social norms that treated it as criminal or mentally ill, and public perception that you were wrong, that you'd "chosen" the gay "lifestyle." (Baloney, I didn't wake up one day and decide to be gay like you'd change a shirt.) It would be years before it became OK to even talk about it, and laws began to improve. But much of that tiny bit of progress is in jeopardy due to this recent wave of ultra-conservative backlash. -- I hope for kids growing up today, that they will somehow have a better, safer world in which to be gay or not straight. There has been progress, but we must continue to stand up and speak up for ourselves, to keep from being marginalized and ignored and rejected. Regardless of what some people think, gay people do exist, and so we deserve to be treated like any other human beings, with decency and fairness.

[@BryanPike]

It's hard even watching this being reviewed all these decades later. Having worked in Provincetown, and miss so many faces.

[@MattBaume]

It's just impossible to grasp the magnitude of the loss -- so unbearable.

[@malehuman]

It is hard to watch. I've been wondering why I have so few friends my age. Then it hit me, they died. Still crying, I shouldn't have watched this

[@mmps18]

Such an important film with one of the most gut wrentching endings of all time. Thank you Matt!

[@Girrrrrrrrrrrrrl66]

Maybe I'm just a super emotional and weak person but I still havent gotten iver the trauma of what I witnessed in the 80's. The skeletal patients, the visible signs of how the disease impacted thier bodies, the smell the dozens and dozens of boxes of medicines piled up. It totally screwed me up mentally. All but 1 friend of mine passed away. I saw this movie in a theatre with all of them and shortly after they all died.

[@rmm9574]

So many of our close friends died on the aids epidemic in the late 80s and 90s. But we still have some friends HIV+ living and being sexualy active today, after 30 years of being diagnosed....

[@keliipuuwai]

Unfortunately, although we've come a long way, this is still true for some communities. Disproportionate health disparities, little-no access to comprehensive healthcare or affordable medication. We cannot be complacent and leave communities behind

[@GregBurns-j4v]

My lesbian boss and I went to see this movie in an artsy fartsy theater near Yale. There were 4 obviously straight teenage girls sitting directly in front of us. By the end of film, they were all sobbing uncontrollably. So this story affected everyone... 😢

[@choryferguson2196]

You've brought me to tears. I loved this film.

[@sparkers70]

I watched that movie when it first came out.... my friends and I were living this, perhaps not to the same degree, though. Perhaps more ravaging than the disease itself was the psychological toll it took on non-sexual intimacy. For a long time there was a lingering doubt whether sex was the only way to contract HIV.

[@MitchellWaldrep]

I keep hoping the finale scene will really happen, except instead of here, in the afterlife when we reunite with all those we have loved. I know some don't believe in life after death, but for those that do, it brings hope.

[@PaulAdler11]

Watching this during the pandemic and tears are rolling down my face. Thank you for making this.

[@DavidAndersen84]

I am glad this movie inspires the community to build our families. In the end, all we have is one another. You did a good job.

[@atrocchia]

When I was attending junior college 1990-1993, I met a student living with HIV/AIDS who told me about the movie. The student went home to Ecuador to die. If you do not cry when watching this movie, you are heartless.

[@WilsonHardcastle]

And now KZbin wants me to watch An Early Frost. I can only assume Kleenex is a sponsor.

[@mikedavis3840]

Matt, thank you for this. I lost 14 of my best friends to AIDS. And like the guy involved in the production of this film, I am the only one left. It was a horrifying time for us. Fear, prejudice, even hatred. I can assure you that if this disease had surfaced in the heterosexual community, the feds would have put millions into research immediately. Look up Legionnaires disease. 34 people died of that disease when it was first diagnosed, and government action was swift and decisive. Not so with AIDS. We were ostracized, marginalized and even blamed for the disease, or worse, it was “god’s punishment” for being gay.

[@jonathanfarrell2196]

Your videos are excellent breakdowns of history. History we are still imbedded in. You’re videos can really help and educate. Thank you

[@Stephie2007]

*sees the ventilator scene* Isn't interesting how history likes to repeat itself?

[@vincentroux842]

No one will see this post but here it is. Well, I was one of those who also got hiv in the late 80’s. I recall all those difficult moments but we all still tried to have a good time and deal with it in our own way. Yvon Andre, if you are reading this from above, know that I am forever sorry to not have been by your side in your last moments. I know how hard this was for you. Even after over 30 years, i still cry when I think of this, and I hope you will forgive me as I was also trying to survive this illness. Your death came way too fast. I am forever thankful to have survived the worst years of this epidemic, the worst humankind have seen with an almost 100% fatality rate.

[@TheDoctorsTimeVlog]

I've been very interested in the 1980s AIDS epidemic since I decided to do an extensive research paper for my high school history class and I had never heard of this movie until now. I'm very thankful you mentioned this video because I am not sure I would have found it (or maybe I would have but not for a while). I can't wait to watch this movie, Saturday night is going to be so much fun (with lots of crying).

[@rubencohen2936]

I lived it and it was a scary time to be a young gay man. Watch the movie, TEST 2013.

[@billharnet]

Because you question your ability to hold a friends hand while they slip away I would guess you could. Holding hands, endless hours in hospitals, cooking, cleaning and bathing him you find that you can do it all. I just hope I never have to do it again

[@AdamTh1]

Another thing I found interesting about this movie is they begin each "chapter" with a screen showing just the date - Month, day & year. The chapters are roughly 1 year apart . I found myself thinking about where I was on those dates; where I was physically, career-wise and dealing with the fact that I'm gay.

[@ToniHinton]

When I saw this in the theater, after the "longtime companion" dinner scene Matt showed, they cut to the date card and people around me whispered, "Oh, no," because they knew what that meant. People sobbed outright at the next scene.