Lost in life and need advice importantly!

Had a brain injury and am living in supported living somewhere near London. I'm looking for help as to what to do next as I feel stuck!

[@trevorwest3457]

Who you are has been changed by injury, you want healthy explorations to test what you are capable of as you are now. I'd definitely recommend trying something physical, it teaches you to listen to your body, breathe correctly, and cope with hardship. Don't overdo it, keep whatever this is regular i.e. almost every day (rest days guilt free when your body tells you to, but only one a week). The memory part of your life you'll be working on for a long time, take the support. Try not to stress about it or get too caught up in overworking yourself... balance work and rest, it isn't wasted time. This goes for all other challenges you are facing, trust yourself to do better. There are some things no one will be able to help you with, you need to figure out some new tricks to living. It's frustrating and a bit boring until you find things you like doing, find a few things to do with life, this is what real security is. You are looking for things that you lose time doing, that you can get completely occupied in, they are challenging but also familiar and relaxing at the same time. Best of luck, have some fun with whatever you choose to try next.

[@rowlandadelagun-manwomanmy892]

Thank you, man.

[@FortyTwo6x7]

the good news is the old you is still in there somewhere, everything is not lost. Get a piece of paper and write down 5 things you know about yourself. Read it often, like 10 times a day. When it gets to the stage where you know what the next line is going to say every time, add another thing. It will take a time, but time is something you have a lot of. Good luck mate

[@rowlandadelagun-manwomanmy892]

Good idea! Thanks

[@CitymanIreland]

Hi Row Ad, you are near Slough - a couple on miles north east of Slough centre.

[@driversuz44]

You ARE making progress, but due to the severity of your injury it's a slow process. The best thing you can do right now is to continue to "exercise" your brain. You can build on your strong verbal skills. Keep recording. Write things down - not just typing on a keyboard, but drawing each letter with a pen. Over and over again. Depending on your injury it may be hard but it's a skill you can re-learn. You have MANY skills that you can probably re-learn, but it will take time and it will take a whole lot of repetition. In the meantime we've got your back!

[@rowlandadelagun-manwomanmy892]

Thank you!

[@rowlandadelagun-manwomanmy892]

Just to add, yours was a very nice message.

[@CitymanIreland]

Hi Row Ad, Can I tell you that you seem more coherent than you did a couple of months ago, so I hope that your neural networks are slowly getting better.

[@thoughtsfromthedryer9908]

is there a social worker there? whatever you call it in the uk? ask them for some psychiatric help then talk to them about a plan for what your goals need to be to get your own place when i had my stroke they set goals about where i needed to be before i could go home part of that was proving i could handle day to day stuff like medications start logging a summary of your conversations on your phone so you can refer back if you have a question

[@rowlandadelagun-manwomanmy892]

Thanks for advice!

[@davey1602]

Start small with online gaming. Pick a genre of game you enjoy (first person, turn based, real time strategy, etc.) and build your competence at that game in offline mode. I realise the main aim is to converse with other people, so join a Discord server connected to people you watch on KZbin. Mobile phones are certainly handy things to have, but joining Twitter or Facebook will help you reach out to old friends or acquaintances - especially if you use your real name. That carries other risks too, like revealing yourself to the wider public and incurring any wrath due to your actions - or perceived actions - in your "old life". Many single people are suffering under this lockdown, so don't forget you're not the only one. That will make it easier to connect with others as they have the same goal; getting in touch with other humans. Take things steady, Row and never let it all run ahead of you. One last piece of advice would be to grow a thick skin. There are many in this world that would hate you simply for being you. Maybe they don't like your message or what you stand for, but they will find you and it's better to be prepared. It's a mess out here, but if you can weather the storm, you'll feel so much better ;)

[@rowlandadelagun-manwomanmy892]

Thank you for your thoughtful message.

[@davey1602]

@@rowlandadelagun-manwomanmy892 Good to see you have your typing abilities back. Keep on trucking 👍

[@duartecid3978]

I really don’t know what to tell you mate, other than don’t be put off from engaging with the people around you, some of which will probably be much better placed to help you (or at least refer you to those who can) than we could ever be, no matter how well intentioned any advice you might receive here; the key is to be polite but persistent, they are there to help, but they are also human. You asked what any of us would do in your position, never an easy question to answer (let alone contemplate), but from what I can tell you’re essentially asking for help with three specific things: Firstly, help with the psychological consequences of waking up and trying to understand who you are and what you’re going to do with your life. This is where talking therapies should be able to help you, so if it was me, I’d be asking my carers to refer me to any people within the system that might be able to help me in that respect. Secondly, help with the physiological consequences of waking up and realising that you have problems with your memory, tasting food, reading, etc, this is where specialised medical help and physiotherapy might be able help; if it was me, I would be asking to see either the doctors/consultants that originally dealt with my case, or someone else within the system that was best placed to take on that role. Lastly, help with reconnecting to old friends and past-times. This is where a mixture of professional help and the outside world should be of use to you, I’d be inclined to get the above two rolling first, and then ask to be put into contact with people who specialise in social rehabilitation, helping to put me in contact with groups, organisations, or even employers that might help reconnect me back to society and social living. It ain't gonna be easy for sure, but where there's a will, there's a way, and I'd say you've got that bit pretty well covered.

[@rowlandadelagun-manwomanmy892]

Thanks for you excellent message!

[@redtalks4274]

I would recommend keeping a journal to write down important things you want to remember. Also my advice is to not be overwhelmed with this process of rebuilding your life. If you spend every hour of the day trying to rebuild your memory you will get frustrated and be in poor mental health. Take time to just enjoy something entertaining or distracting. I know you have been enjoying listening to music lately and things like that are a healthy distraction from this difficult process. Video games and books might be good as well. Maybe you can watch some Taekwondo videos on KZbin and work on remembering your patterns.

[@rowlandadelagun-manwomanmy892]

Thanks man. I might look into TKD patterns online.

[@rowlandadelagun-manwomanmy892]

And how did you know I did TKD?

[@run_down_mid8480]

@@rowlandadelagun-manwomanmy892 you mentioned you were a tkd instructor or something along those lines on your old channel man women myth you should watch all your old videos also don't forget to check out mgtow.tv and try to find a church when the lockdown is over

[@redtalks4274]

@@rowlandadelagun-manwomanmy892 you mentioned TKD in a previous video and we had a few comments with each other about it. You told me you were a 4th degree black belt in ITF style.

[@rowlandadelagun-manwomanmy892]

Sorry for any trouble. but are you saying that I used to have a previous KZbin channel? I have a memory problem, so I don't understand you. So, what was this "old channel", please?

[@stephykendraliu6672]

Row, it could be worth making some enquiries and asking the good people who are looking after you (or in charge of your day to day upkeep and care) to: 1) Put you in touch with an: Occupational Therapist (these are specialists who tailor emotional and practical support for folks in particular environments e.g. post injury - recovery et al) 2) Your GP should be able to help secure one on your behalf 3) As may your social worker. 4) Things can get lost in the system, so its worthwhile to check in with your GP and or Social worker at regular intervals (e.g. Once a week or something like that) and see how your requests are being handled/managed. Get much better soon good sir. X

[@stephykendraliu6672]

Additional UK charity based Resources: www.aftertrauma.org/recovery-information-useful-organisations/useful-organisations also another directory of Brain Injury and Recovery support resources here: www.braininjurygroup.co.uk/brain-injury-group-directory/charities-support-groups/

[@stephykendraliu6672]

Free (but still awesome) online gaming I really enjoy include: - World of Warhips worldofwarships.eu/ and World of Tanks :-) - worldoftanks.eu/?

[@stephykendraliu6672]

If you have any family, Neighbours or colleagues who knew you fairly well (before the accident), it could be a starting point, by reaching out to them and seeing who else they could connect you with, they potentially could provide a piece of the jigsaw puzzle for you, which might in turn lead to other jigsaw pieces (information about other friends or distant relatives). x

[@rowlandadelagun-manwomanmy892]

Thank you!

[@rowlandadelagun-manwomanmy892]

@@stephykendraliu6672 When I get organised I want to check your suggestions out!

[@SomeGuy-xf9bc]

Row, I hope this commentary finds you well. You do not know me personally. Your work with ManWomanMyth though, helped me through a very difficult time in my life. It is for this reason that I endeavor to do what I can to help you with your memory issues. After thinking about it, I think the best way I can help is to keep a running list of the things you have told your subscribers about yourself. Frequent repetition is the only thing I know of that can perhaps help get your memory functioning again. The day you tire of reading this will be a happy day indeed. It will mean your memory is on the mend. First off, you need to understand that nearly the entire world is locked down because of a global flu like pandemic. They have named this virus COVID 19. This is one reason you are not receiving visitors. Hopefully the lock-downs will end soon and more people will again be able to come and visit you. Things I know about you that you have either mentioned in a video, or in the comments section of those videos include: You created a most excellent video series under the name ManWomanMyth that helped countless men through times of personal crisis. You have eye problems that make reading and watching TV difficult. Another commenter suggested you explore audio books. You seemed genuinely open to it. You are showing improvement, but your memory issue prevents you from recognizing this. You have lost your ability to taste food. This causes you a great deal of distress. You remember having had personal property such as a car, but you don't know what happened to them. You worry about your financial situation. You were married at one time, but do not know the status of that marriage. You have two children, a boy and a girl. You said their names are James and Sophie. From the pieces I have put together, they are probably around 12 years old. You worry about your kids, even though you don't really remember them. You've suffered from a serious brain injury. I believe it was from a fall of some sort. It likely occurred in 2015. It is now 2020. You live in a care facility called "Supported Living". I am not clear if that is the facility name, or simply the type of facility. At one time you were a Tae Kwon Do instructor. At one time you had several IT related companies or endeavors that were very successful. You can't remember the staff in your facility providing you with physical therapy. You have two tools with which you can communicate with the outside world. A cell phone and a computer. You had many more videos on your channel. Very recently most of them where deleted. Nobody seems to know why. Perhaps you deleted them and don't remember. So far, this is what I know. Even with your injuries, your good heart shows through in your videos. I wish you well, and a speedy recovery.

[@rowlandadelagun-manwomanmy892]

Thank you so much for your brilliant message! Please tell e about the deleted videos. I don't remember this issue. Were they manwomanmyth vids?

[@SomeGuy-xf9bc]

@@rowlandadelagun-manwomanmy892 No, they were videos you made a few months back. I don't know what happened to them. They just disappeared from youtube.

[@rowlandadelagun-manwomanmy892]

@@SomeGuy-xf9bc I'm confused! Whatever videos are now missing from youtube are probably still on my computer I hope. Can you tell me anything about the missing vids to help me know what I'm looking for?

[@SomeGuy-xf9bc]

@@rowlandadelagun-manwomanmy892 I'm afraid I can't Row. I'm not a youtuber. I don't know if a local copy exists or not. I wish I could, but there were several more months of videos that are no longer there. I guess if you have a directory where you store the videos you make, I would look there.