My Boyfriend Says I'm Not Wife Material Because I'm Too Good In Bed -Reddit Stories

[@catpatrick3838]

Story one guy sounds like he's the type who wants a wife who only does missionary and will use that to justify having a side piece that will be adventurous in bed. She needs to run for the hills. He's not husband material.

[@thebacklashwaveV]

Naw, this is a excuse to not marry lpl

[@deepindigo1937]

He wants a fbuddy not a wife, all that crap was just to save face

[@Iflie]

Exactly, when he's married to his classy girl that doesn't remind him of his embarrassing kinks he'll keep wanting his old adventurous girlfriend back and he'll start cheating because he wants to keep what he has and some adventure too.

[@moimeself1088]

Yup, just posted this

[@natytambasco]

Sounds like a possible cheater in the future...

[@Russman67]

Story one: I bet that if the boyfriend goes off and marries someone else, he will be back in OP's DMs complaining about how his wife is so vanilla and asking "WYD?" Dump this clown

[@heatherhenderson1826]

I completely agree.... He will try and slither back into her hooha... She needs to run and never look back

[@jamilyribeiro7739]

Yeah... This happened to me... F*ck this Guy...

[@pollypockets508]

Agreed so much!

[@pollypockets508]

@@jamilyribeiro7739 :-(

[@fakelu8576]

I know I’m dumb but, what does “WYD”?

[@Breevis29]

Now that you know how he feels about you. Leave him, he's wasting your time. You gave him five years of playing house.

[@rwilliams8736]

You know how he feels. Leave and and hes not husband material. Atleast you're still young.

[@juliemcgugan1244]

He was just stringing her along, but when she put the smallest amount of pressure on, he said that so that she would break up with him. He doesn’t want to make any effort whatsoever, so he said something that would make her do the breaking up.

[@DrownedInExile]

I suspect all that crap he was spewing was just face-saving. He didn't want to marry her because he had nothing to gain. He was already getting all he wanted. Too bad he couldn't be honest about it. Glad OP broke up with him, he's not husband material.

[@MaryTheresa1986]

@@DrownedInExile Heaven help the poor woman who *does* marry OP's ex. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[@amyrussell860]

To paraphrase poet Maya Angelou, when someone shows you who they really are the 1st time, believe them. To paraphrase something one of my brother's said when i was a teenager, he's here for a good time,, NOT a long time, and therefore he's not good enough for YOU! Remember, you are missing the fun and the good time you two had e.g. going to parties, dancing with each other, and just enjoying life. Your not missing the way he or others, treat you. I was you at one point in my life. The right person is out there, and he will appreciate your being adventurous, especially as time and your relationship go on.

[@thisisavivistanaccount7866]

Story One: She’s wife material but he’s not husband material. Plus she did the experimental stuff that HE wanted to do. She can do better. It sucks that she’s hurting, bc she truly loved him. I hope she’s happy in the future.

[@bobydigital2450]

Before the update I would have said yes. After I would say no

[@maranaomi8235]

@@bobydigital2450 Then he shouldn't have dated her in the first place if he is so disgusted by her body count.

[@sadtitties222]

@@maranaomi8235 Exactly! This guy brought all of this on himself, lol. If he didn't want to date someone who has a "high body count" then he shouldn't have wasted both his and her time. He can get bent. 😂

[@MizTameRumors]

Sexually adventurous fun woman who wants to settle down? She’ll be more than fine 😂 and her future husband will be a lot happier than that weird dude with his vanilla boring wife.

[@tinydancer7426]

Would be interesting to know HIS body count.

[@ToxicSunrise132]

What OP 1 should say to her boyfriend: I have taken your suggestions about how my sexual adventures with you have disqualified me as wife material. I love you and want to make this work! And so, to help conform to your more traditional views on relationships, I will refrain from sleeping with you until we are married. I want to prove I can wait for you! ❤ Oh, and as our previous adventures is bed seem to be such a turn off for you, all relations post-marrige will be in the missionary position only. I want to respect your boundaries 😇

[@kitsumekat]

Thank goodness I finished chewing because I would've died laughing 😂

[@MaryTheresa1986]

This is funny as Hell, but I'm glad she dumped his ass.

[@moimeself1088]

Yeah, but then she'd have to marry him. Ewww!!

[@troubleinthevalley5884]

Yes!!!!

[@bobydigital2450]

It wasn't the sx but her pt that made her bee seen as none wife material she was disingenuous in the original post

[@Caffeinatedwife]

I slept with my husband on our first date, we've been together 9 years and our son will be 1 next month. If a man wants to marry you he'll marry you.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

This is true, if a man wants to marry you, he will marry you. Granted, there does have to be a level of respect as well but I don't think sleeping together on the first date should even be in the conversation regarding respect. I had over 500 sleep on the first date experiences and I didn't marry any of them because, at that time, I wasn't looking for anything long-term. I actually didn't sleep with my current wife of many years until the 6th date by my choice. We are still happily married and probably would be forever but she has an illness that will take her away from me and our Triplet girls within the next 6 months.

[@DrownedInExile]

Congratulations!

[@jnnamartin]

Same & we've been together 13 years, 3 kids! (:

[@carolroberts4614]

Thomas Joseph, so sorry to hear that! Best wishes to you and all your girls.

[@erynwells2463]

That's true. I moved in with my husband after a few weeks. We got married after a year and had a baby after two. My son was at my first anniversary party. A relationship progresses as fast as the people involved. I am happy but that doesn't mean what I did will work for everyone.

[@moimeself1088]

Story 1.. that guy's def gonna find himself a "good girl" to marry and get preggo then cheat on her. For damn sure.

[@grumpygi9777]

I was married for 15 wonderful years to someone like you. We enjoyed every minute together and it was wonderful. You don,t need to change you for someone else.

[@jalilrodney1667]

Damn what happened

[@grumpygi9777]

@@jalilrodney1667 Sadly my wife passed away from pancreatic cancer in 2018.

[@olanrewajuihenacho178]

Sorry for your loss😢 Thanks for your empathy and compassion. Hope things have worked out for you in the end 👏🏿👏🏿🙏🏿🇬🇧

[@lotuslady9821]

First story: Poor girl has nothing wrong with her. She just choose the wrong man to be with and anyone in the og comments telling her she deserved it need to jump off cliffs. Fun doesn’t negate marriage and I hope she finds her perfect partner.

[@mikeb3717]

There's plenty wrong with her. In her update she mentions that she realizes she was a pickme girl, and that BOTH of her parents had serious addiction issues which she almost certainly inherited.

[@lotuslady9821]

@@mikeb3717 You don’t inherit addictions. You may pick up those addictions but it’s not something your prone to. And being a pickme girl isn’t wrong if they’d been together for so long.

[@carolroberts4614]

Mike b she didn't say she was a pick me girl, she said one of the commenters suggested she was....that's not the same!

[@callia8877]

So he wasn't allowed to want to date someone he didn't want to marry? He isn't a bad person or bad boyfriend just because he didn't see her as wife material.

[@lotuslady9821]

@@callia8877 Not for the bullsh*t reasons he gave. He’s a coward, it doesn’t take five years to realize you don’t want to marry someone.

[@BunnyQueen97]

Do not EVER “cut down on” the stuff that makes you feel like you. He sees you as a fling, if you don’t feel the same way about him then DUMP HIM. Also, Freud was a hack. That’s not a valid complex he has, that’s immaturity. Period. I’m sure his mom fed him every word of that.

[@demonic_myst4503]

Freud is the basis of all therapy and modern paychology he was half rught half wrong nit a hack he a founding father of modern paychology

[@Yllania]

@@demonic_myst4503 Literally was not. Wilhelm Wundt was. Freud furthered psychoanalysis , which is only a part of psychology. If you want to talk about modern, he wouldn't even be the father of that, as theres no one father of modern psychology. Its a wide field and Freud only specialized in one part of it.

[@demonic_myst4503]

@@Yllania he a big part of modern practices tho and hewas one father of one the more used practical fields

[@BunnyQueen97]

@@demonic_myst4503 Plenty of people who founded things were later proven to be hacks, you act like those faucets of identity are mutually exclusive. Much of what we consider psychological consensus is, at it's core, just the obnoxious ramblings of men like him, and they hold the entire field back. Plenty of psychology academics and professionals agree with me.

[@demonic_myst4503]

@@BunnyQueen97 apeal to authority without even having a solid consensus that doesnt prove he a hack

[@theunknownone5663]

Story one: he seems to be a red flag.

[@AntisocialclubSJ]

OP in 1st story was too good for that trash dude. He’s surely not husband material regardless. OP sounds dope and she’ll meet someone worthy of her.

[@trinitylane2202]

Sounds to me like OP's boyfriend in the first story isn't going to be good husband/father material. He sounds like someone who will cheat on his wife.

[@Drezha3]

Story one: Bf: how dare you *insert depraved, disgusting sexual acts that he wanted* that makes you not wife material OP: alright I’m out then. Bf: wait a minute now…..

[@delilahbelle2125]

That guy who's into kinky stuff, but doesn't want a wife who will do it with him? He will never be faithful to a wife. He'll have numerous affairs or mistresses because he'll find his sex life rather lacking in his marriage if kinkier stuff is what he's into.

[@callia8877]

That's a lie.

[@stephanien6237]

Time will tell!

[@Endonia-ym3sl]

Honey, you're 23. You have all the time in the world to find someone who respects you and won't demand you change to suit his impossible standards. So your fun, outgoing, caring, a great girlfriend in all aspects but he won't marry you? What he wants is all the fun with none of the commitment. You're better off just dumping his sorry butt and finding someone better.

[@ddavis8988]

We really need to stop telling young women they have all the time in the world. That is not true. Once you get past 27, the odds of getting married and staying married drops greatly year by year. Don't waste your 20s on a man who doesn't appreciate it.

[@VanityDivined]

@@ddavis8988 🙄

[@sadtitties222]

@@VanityDivined Same dude, same. Jfc, that poster sounds delusional, lol.

[@amandaconstanza]

@@ddavis8988 27? I am 29, like all my friends, no one is married, people get married now after 30 something, and you can get married at 60yo if you want.

[@ddavis8988]

@@amandaconstanza i didn't say you couldn't get married. Read what I actually said.

[@susanlayton2143]

Story 1: OP is 23, of course she can change some, it's called growing up. A lot of women I know are almost completely different at 35 than they were in their early to mid 20s. Her completely changing who she is just to suit this person is not necessary.

[@GinHindew110]

" A lot of women I know are almost completely different at 35 than they were in their early to mid 20s." Well, yeah, because hey cannot rely on their youth anymore, the question is if they changed because they wanted or because they had no other choice

[@stephanien6237]

@@GinHindew110 what’s with the creepy misogyny here? Women AND men change throughout their lives. When men are different at 35 va early-mid 20s do you write “because they can’t rely on their youth”?! Somehow I doubt it. Big yikes. It’s almost as if you don’t think women have as much to offer as men in terms of being a loving, life partner to someone…

[@AlphaMakuko]

@@GinHindew110 Headshot

[@shells500tutubo]

@@GinHindew110 It is called maturing, and realizing that it is not on them to carry a relationship, but to have a partnership. Also, many men have the "Dad bods" at 35, so there is that. None of us can depend on youth forever, and a person who is attracted only to youth is not someone who has the depth to be a god partner anyway.

[@katwelch3042]

Story 1 - if this guy has kinks but won't marry someone who will share in them I pity the woman he does marry because he is certainly not going to be faithful. Personally I'm a firm believer in a prenup with a penalty for adultery.

[@sarahjaneuldricks6729]

"Let's just enjoy the time we have left." "Okay, bye then." "Wait, no, you were supposed to stay until I'M done!!"

[@halleyangel1706]

Being someone who hadn't thought she'd get married 7 years ago before I met my now husband. I had to learn a lot from my previous 2 relationships. I was like OP I had a bad idea of how relationships were. I thought I had to change and be everything he wanted at the expense of myself. And the things that made me happy. Being a dumb 16-18 year old. It took him cheating on me with his ex. (who later left him and their baby) A lot of reflection and time to discover who I was. I'm someone who I'd homey, nerdy, weird, and autistic as a boot that's painted red. And I never thought a man would find me attractive. If you had asked me what I thought would happen in my life at 20. I would tell you I would expect me to be a bitter divorcee or cat lady because I felt like I couldn't be what a man wanted. Turns out I'm the exact person my husband wants. And adores of me. He encourages my hobbies and understands me. Autism and all. And I am thrilled to call him my husband.

[@jbgra2566]

I love this comment so much! Something similar happened to me. But you see, I have always been a "no crap" person, everyone always thought I was always mad and I have no interest in being social or anything. When I met the person I ended up marrying I was done with relationships (crappy friends and a crappy romantic relationship) and didn't talk to him in the two years I met him at all. Somehow we ended up dating and we are now a family with a beautiful girl and a lovely cat. He accepts me how I am and I accept who he is. He's my best friend and partner in life and we are both happy together.

[@halleyangel1706]

@@jbgra2566 I cam be very no crap too. But I had to learn they're should always be limitations to when a appropriate time to be like that is. Thankfully I haven't had to get too real with anyone since maybe 2 years ago when my mom got hurt badly and someone wasn't taking her best interest and being selfish.

[@sadtitties222]

@@halleyangel1706 I'm really glad for you and your positively splendid new relationship that has you feeling good about yourself! I'm autistic as well (Aspie), so I understand the self doubt about whether anyone could truly care about me or not. Hang in there and continue to flourish with your life! In all honesty though, even if you had ended up as the "old cat lady", that sounds SO much better than being with someone that makes you feel like crap, at least to me anyway, lol. I'm probably gonna become the crazy old cat lady in the future, but I don't mind considering I don't really care whether I ever end up in a relationship or not, but that's just me, haha. Hope you are doing good and staying safe! ❤

[@halleyangel1706]

@@sadtitties222 I don't know if it's revelant but my husband has disabilities as well. I think that helps him understand me as well. But his are physically their minor

[@markgoodwin6266]

@@jbgra2566 how it should be!!

[@wumpus3719]

First OP's boyfriend is a literal troglodyte, he had a chance to marry someone who loved him unconditionally and he still managed to mess it all up and hurt op in the process pathetic

[@15oClock]

First Story: Chances are your parents have had sex and are still having sex if they're still together or with other people. Just because you don't see it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Second Story: Who could've guessed being a typical petty manager would've changed things for the better in a roundabout way? Third Story: This is the driver's version of "Your shoe's untied."

[@kanteannightmare]

Exactly, why do you think your parents forced you to play outside so much? You really think they thought you needed that fresh city air?

[@despinasgarden.4100]

@@kanteannightmare how does he thinks he come to life?

[@catandrobbyflores]

I'm coming up on my one year wedding anniversary, been a couple for almost ten and I can say op needs to freaking run. My husband has never asked me to change myself and stop doing what I love once in our entire relationship. She needs to raise her standards and move on. After update: who the freak cares if she had sex on the first date or the tenth. And I guarantee this guy will cheat on his vanilla sex wife as soon as he can.

[@ladosis5596]

I had one job at a German company where we had to ask permission to stay overtime at the office. We would be notified if we were late arriving for more than five minutes, or if we were late LEAVING for more than fifteen minutes. The rationale was that if we needed to stay longer we were either being unproductive during the day, which needed correcting, or we were being overworked, which also needed correcting. I appreciated that a lot.

[@indiashante1560]

What person wouldn't want to be married to someone that isn't willing to experiment sexually? That's a win-win in my opinion. 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@sadtitties222]

So trueeee! Honestly a lot people (especially cis straight guys of the "horny" variety, lol) would have slapped this guy in the back of his head for turning her down. A wife who is up for the most kinky stuff that you can think of? SIGN THEM UP! 😂

[@cisio64123]

@@sadtitties222 As the Usher song _Yeah_ said " We want a lady in the street but a freak in the bed ". This guy really had a girl who loved him and wanted to please him but blew it because he didn't see that he had what most guys want.

[@pollypockets508]

Right

[@RudesMom]

Glad to hear he's an ex-boyfriend. The guy is an idiot in more ways that one, luckily for her. By telling her, he lost his f-buddy when she realized he had zero respect for her. He could have easily strung her along for another five years while looking for his virgin bride. If he marries, the woman will need to have ice water in her veins to put up with him and he'll use that as an excuse to step out.

[@AFAskygoddess]

First story: I'm sure there were other, more subtle red flags before he dropped the relationship kiss of death atomic b0mb. But she loved him and didn't see what an a$$h0le he was until she confronted him about their future. I'm glad she didn't keep doing the pick me dance. Now she can go and a decent guy. Life is all about lessons. She passed this class.

[@rhyswheeler858]

That first OP will never get married because men don’t Marry self proclaimed “party girls”. I personally know a lot of women that are like that and none of them have Managed to get married or have more than one long lasting relationship. Her bf is probably the typical Chad type however her party girl style will probably lead her to be miserable and alone after she hits the wall.

[@stephanien6237]

@@rhyswheeler858 on the other hand, I know several people who were party girls earlier in life who grew up and are now married with children in happy marriages. So, glad your experience isn’t universal. It’s… it’s almost as if you don’t think people grow and change as they are. Lol! I’m sure you are exactly the same as you were 10 years ago?

[@rhyswheeler858]

@@stephanien6237 I do agree it’s not all women, it’s just a well known fact that decent men will not marry those girls because they don’t mature outside of drinking and sleeping around, I know many party girls and they’ve all had the same ending to relationships that this OP had.Though as I say, I know it’s not universal amongst women.

[@susanlosey9511]

Don’t change yourself. There are better men out there that will treat you so much better. Drop this looser.

[@Mimikinn]

I thought men wanted the whole ‘lady in the streets, freak in the sheets’ deal? Either way, the guy is clearly not husband material so OP should just keep pushing on to find that one.

[@boro8073]

Story 1, yes op's ex is definitely going to marry some girl whom he considers 'wife material'... ... and then cheat on her because she's not satisfying him in bed. What a jerk.

[@marilu3173]

Story 1: I wish I can tell OP that she did nothing wrong. Sex is healthy, fun, and beautiful. If she wants to have a one-night stand, go for it. Just be safe and focus on themselves 100% to heal any trauma (if any).

[@SilentDecepticon]

1: OP has wasted enough of her time on this judgmental hypocrite. He says breaking up with him is a mistake but he’s just trying to use her until he finds a woman that fits his idea of “wife material”. He’s made it clear that it won’t be OP. And I agree that he’ll eventually get bored of his future perfect wife, and cheat on her because she doesn’t do the things that he looks down on OP for doing. 2: The bosses should realize that nitpicking every minute and being hardasses doesn’t inspire people to work hours of overtime for free. 3: I often wonder what the deal is with people like this. Laying on the horn, screaming at other drivers and flipping them off doesn’t make traffic move faster. All it accomplishes is raising her blood pressure. One of these days she’s going to piss off the wrong person and get beaten up or killed.

[@Ater_Swe]

I just love when men judge women for the same things they are doing themself..... O the misogynistic irony.

[@co7314]

"When someone tells you who they are [slutshamer], believe them the first time". That guy will never change. Don't ever accept disrespect.

[@greenmoon7349]

Well I just got my lunch and 50 seconds later LG posts a video. Today is going to be a good day.

[@owl7072]

Leave him. I never understood why you would date someone if you don't plan on marrying them, and let them get so invested while not knowing that you don't feel the same. I can understand if _over time_ he changed his mind, but he's known the whole time that he doesn't plan on marrying Op, knowing fully well that marriage is something she wants. Why would you date someone when you seem to hate damn near everything about them? He's wasting your time, just leave. Edit: "I just can't see you as a wife or mother after some of the stuff we've done" you mean the things YOU wanted to do? In that case since they were YOUR ideas, that automatically disqualifies you from being husband or father material. Oh but don't tell him that, it might hurt his pride

[@TechnoMageB5]

"he's known the whole time that he doesn't plan on marrying Op, knowing fully well that marriage is something she wants" - this is why I consider what this guy did unforgivable. A woman's ideal time to find a mate is 18-27, as those are her prime attractive years, and he just used her for the majority of them with no chance of return on investment for her. If this were a business contract, the court would likely hold him liable for FRAUD.

[@stephanien6237]

@@TechnoMageB5 sigh. Omg. Your old fashioned “best time for women to find a mate” rhetoric makes me sad. The fact that you seem to focus primarily/only on her looks/attractiveness when finding a mate is telling… Otherwise I agree that he was wasting her time if he knew he didn’t want to marry and that she did. He’s an asshat!

[@Pastel_Dreams]

1st Story: Well if he's going to become a senator, he's going to need a Jackie not a Marylin. All jokes aside, OP did right by herself in dumping this jerk. She can and will do better, but it will take some time for her initial heartbreak to heal.

[@dianebraberry317]

Story 1: OP, your bf is cheating on you. Pretty sure of it. That was the same bs my ex gave me but actually it was because he had a sidechick. Here is also the deal, my husband and I slept on the first date and we were definitely not marriage material. Every min, we go at it like rabbits and it continued through the 4 years we’ve been together and we’re engaged. When we had our daughter, we toned down a lot and became and trying to be the best parents to our daughter. So what I mean is…. What he said is absolute bs and you can tell he is a narcissist from the answer he gave when your broke up with him.

[@Khiarika1]

I didn’t come to this conclusion, but I also suspected that dumb ass reason he gave wasn’t the real reason he didn’t want to be with her. But the way he seemed surprised that she wouldn’t allow him to keep wasting her time tho…hilarious!😂

[@stephanien6237]

The question the OP needs to ask herself (when she considers whether she loves/values herself) is whether she said yes to his kinks when she really didn’t want to do them. Did she betray her own wants to say yes to his-in hopes of “pleasing” or “keeping” him. Otherwise, I am not sure why people think she does not love herself enough. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@Nikkimommyof4]

It breaks my heart to hear how OP in the first story keeps beating herself up. This is just crazy. Yeah there is always room for all of us to improve in our lives. As we grow and mature what we did at 18 will probably not be the same at when we are 30 but still. She should not have had to settle for the garbage her ex was shoveling her way. You don't use people like that it's just wrong and it played with her emotions. She deserves better than that scumbag. I hope she can spend some time getting to know herself and appreciate herself more. Maybe then she will attract a better class of partners in the future.

[@raeishimura]

Not wife material because you have fun and tried his kinks? Glad she told him that he wasn't Husband Material, because he isn't. Honestly, should have been way more petty than that and made sure to throw it all back in his face. "Real husband material wouldn't have asked for the kinds of things in bed that you have and then holds his desires over a partners head." OP as a person is fine. Nothing wrong with your personality. Your ex is the biggest problem there. The only mistake you made was wasting five years on a douche-canoe who was stringing you along.

[@britvica]

To prove? You don't have to prove him NOTHING. leave him. Stop swearing and find another guy.

[@hesherette]

as someone who's experienced LA traffic on the 405 freeway, I really appreciated that last story! how genius to tell a douchey driver that they have a flat haha perfect

[@randomlazygamer344]

Like that you're an actual person and not a text to speech program those are honestly annoying and you have a good voice for this

[@LostGenre]

Thank you Randomlazy!!

[@Metonymy1979]

First OP needs to see that his excuse is just that, an excuse.

[@awesomesause]

Story 1- what he was trying to say was, "Marriage sounds like fun, and like a benefit to you, but why the hell would I, when I already have the benefits with none of the negatives, right now as is?"

[@Bleg94]

1. Story: so ... does her boyfriend prefer someone that never has sex with him and if you ever had sex your only sex position is "the starfish" ? oO but I must agree with the friend saying that OP doesn't respect herself enough, why else would she ask on reddit what she did wrong?

[@CristianMetin]

I disagree, some people want some opinions and to see if something is wrong. Some people go to Reddit, friends, parents or therapists. And if the friend want to imply being open for kinks or new sex positions or whatever. It is disrespectful to yourself. I disagree on that idea as well.

[@seleneyue]

@@CristianMetin No I think it was the fact she wanted to change herself you stay with this guy who completely disrespected her and used her that disrespectful to herself

[@leen-treeske]

My ex told me I had to lose weight, get a breast ocmantation and a bigger savings account and then I could come back to him. At first I was really sad, than I was angry but now I laugh at him

[@timtompkins8774]

It's sad that OP thinks there's something wrong with her when there's not. She should not change she'll find somebody

[@arunapache91]

i'd pay to see the guy's face when he see OP with kids being a great mom and him being a hobo

[@eoliver3557]

Sounds like the only thing you need to change is your boyfriend

[@der23]

If the first op isn't mom material for trying out the guys kink then the guy isn't dad material for having those kinks. 😑 What is the logic here?

[@stephanien6237]

Logic has no place in his brain.

[@elinazariel]

Its ridiculous because if he will have a wife he "can respect" he will very likely end up cheating when the kinks desire grows too high. Its dumb. Why not to rather have a person you can get everything with?

[@Phoenix_DarkMoon]

That first story was my ex to a T. 7 years wasted on that asshole. And he did eventually dump me when he thought he had found "the one". Too bad for him, she was only using him to pay her bills and once the money dried up she dumped his ass. He tried hitting me up again, but by then I had met and was with my now husband. It's been 10 years and he's ripped some other poor girl into the position I was in. She's been there for 8 years. I hope she sees the light.

[@beverlynaquin1256]

Dump his sorry behind. If you live with him move out and tell him he isnt husband material

[@wildfyah]

Never change a part of yourself for respectability politics fashioned by a hypocrite. I did and I'm still waiting for those divorce papers

[@lilianapruitt155]

Guy from first story is a tool, glad you dumped his sorry behind. Wish you a life full of happiness Op, hugs 👍

[@tinak2576]

Had an ex (many years ago) say I wasn’t “a lady” because we had sex quickly. How do some people feel they can participate and judge like this??

[@MissDeniseR]

1st story, Don't change yourself for this idiot, the man does not deserve you, find someone who will appreciate you for who you are, and let him find his Stepford wife and he will be bored whittles.

[@chasefrost1401]

For the petty revenge story, you have no idea how many hours that'll add on to her journey through the 405 parking lot. It really is perfect.

[@stevecarey2030]

OP1: I have to disagree with LG when he says she shouldn't change. At 23 she's a party girl which is fine. I was a party dude a 23. But she absolutely better change. It's called growing up. If she wants to stay a party girl all her life, well, good luck with that.

[@theresatrahan6282]

He's not HUSBAND material

[@beatmywheat7074]

The first story; the op boyfriend sounds like he’s trying to call her a sl@t

[@gerardc6070]

Story 2: I work for a fairly large bank as well. I feel like the conflicts could have been avoided by having simple communication. I've been in these situations but I've just communicated with my manager "hey, I don't think I'll get this report done, do you need it by tonight or should I hold off until Monday?" or "I've had OT yesterday, we're not busy, should I leave early today?"

[@deniseallen5233]

Story 1 When a man says he's a jerk believe him. Best advice I ever received from a very nice man. I suggest you take what he is telling you.

[@axepagode33626]

Story one: This is a tough one. This is good info to have. His reasoning doesn't really matter. For whatever reason, he doesn't see a wife or a mother when he looks at you. This isn't about right and wrong. Your wants and needs are just as important as his. If those wants and needs do not match, then a successful long term marriage may not be possible. Are you willing to show him that his concerns are invalid? Are you upset with him that he doesn't see you as a wife or mother? You need to work that out one way or the other.

[@BunnyQueen97]

YOU ARE ALLOWED AND ENCOURAGED TO SAY “PICK ME” TO SOMEONE YOU BELIEVE HAS ALREADY PICKED YOU. THAT IS LITERALLY CALLED A RELATIONSHIP. People are so damn dumb omg

[@singaporesammy]

If they have already picked you, you don't have to say "pick me". If you're saying "pick me" to someone that already picked you, it's because they are, at the very least, considering changing their mind about it. If they have decided to consider picking someone else after having picked you already, they aren't worth having and you should be saying "F you" instead.

[@BunnyQueen97]

@@singaporesammy Can't disagree with any of that!

[@troubleinthevalley5884]

He says let's enjoy whatever time we have left, I saw lets not waste one more second of my time. Byeeee!!!

[@hothotheat3000]

He told you what time it is. If you continue to give him your time and body, you deserve the heartache that is coming.

[@justine8387]

Honestly I want to marry the woman from story one. She sounds like an interesting and amazing person. So glad she didn't stay with his horrible arse.

[@indicus5279]

He does not deserve you. Run

[@Lizmarie775]

Story 1 update:YOU GO GIRL!!!

[@LoucheWoman]

I once logged 50 hours of work between Sunday and Wednesday and then got denied permission to leave 15 minutes early on Thursday. Let's just say I should have learned more about my boss from that than I did at the time.

[@Azulakayes]

Oh OP in the 1st story, am so sorry. Your ex is an AH, that's not on you.

[@MizzShortai]

Guy isn't going to be happy with a "good girl" he'll end up regretting it. I think so anyways.

[@kitsumekat]

It sounds like the boyfriend wants a plain, virgin wife who will do whatever he wants. Also, no, he's husband material for any woman right now.

[@idalia799]

Except supposedly fulfill HIS kinks?!?! God what a hypocrite.

[@msichanahuzuni]

We didn't sleep on together on our 1st date, but we have experienced each others kinks, I swear too much (but can hold it for family, kids & kids parents), wear whatever I want. My hubby & I are BFF's and love that we can be honest & open with each other. I know people who are in marriages where one SO has all the "power" and loves to show off their trophy SO. That sounds like the most miserable terrible marriage. Good for her for leaving.

[@carolcarol9982]

First story: OP is already the side piece and doesn't know it.

[@reginella6]

Op RUN and don’t stop until you are far far away from this jerk !

[@Jamesdylandean]

As an employee of over fifty years, remember that rules are for the benefit of the management, not the employees. Of course, unless they are enforced by a union or governmental agency, then they are a pain in the neck to business bosses. Document, document abuses. I did and it saved me thousands of dollars in medical costs, and prevented them from doing anything about it.

[@deepindigo1937]

What the first guy wanted is a fbuddy, he is not marrying anyone and chances are he would never look twice at a girl that is plain on the bed, all that crap was just to save face, he would ghost OP ay the first sign of not getting the crazy s he wants. Sadly some creeps think of people that give s in the first date as easy prey and have no remorse on stringing them along until their toy breaks or they find a new one.

[@Tomoeine]

OP's (ex) boyfriend sounded like he actually only wanted a live-in FWB that he could easily ditch when he was ready to "settle down." I wonder if he realizes that usually you're supposed to have a great girlfriend before you have a great wife?

[@louellacharlton4425]

Tyvm LG fabulous stories. Stay safe. Peace

[@ammaulani6386]

Story 1: OP needs to boost her self-respect and stop pleading for love from people who can't even appreciate her. There's a lot to unpack there.

[@kristn6513]

If no ring after a year?!? He's not that into you, period. It doesn't mean that you are bad, but who wants to be with anyone who doesn't adore you?

[@manwows5597]

Props to the op's boyfriend for being honest at least, most men actually view dating that way as a "fun time" and view sexual attraction different to relationship attraction. I still think he's naive though, he could've lead her to the qualities he's looking for.

[@catherinetiernan5888]

If you have to prove to someone your value you don't need them in your life. Run now

[@pattiwerts8633]

OMG, I love the voices!!

[@ttp513]

I was in a bar in Hawaii, in line to get a beer when I looked over at a lady being hit on by 2 guys, and she smiled and winked at me. I smiled back but waited to get my beer. I walked over and said hi. Her: Hey Sailor Me: How'd you know I was a sailor? (Navy) Her: turns to sisters* - Hey ladies, he's a sailor! Her: if it we're any other day, I'd take you back to my hotel room and blow the shit out of you. But I have a bet with my sisters and can't do anything tonight. Me: *shocked at what she said but not showing it* "that's cool, I don't kiss on the first date." Her: oh this is a date now? *turns away smiling, pulls me into her and lays the biggest kiss I ever had from a stranger*. Me: *laughing in the inside cuz I can't believe what's happening* "you made me break my rule! You owe me a beer now" Her: I have a better idea, let's go across the street to the beach and go skinny dipping! I had to save her from drowning (not really but sort of). And while doing so her sisters went through my phone. At the end of the crazy night, we end up having sex in the bathroom of their hotel room while her sister is banging on the wall for us to STFU. And that's the story of how I met my wife...happily married...

[@lwood9294]

Not sure if this is a true story but it’s a great story! Congrats

[@ttp513]

@@lwood9294 OH yea it's true. The other pat of that story is, the reason I was in that bar to begin with. It was for a shipmate of mine who had just reenlisted. This was a country bar, mainly military. I hated country at the time. I saw he wasn't having a great time, just sitting there quiet. So I asked him if he wanted me to find him a girl (I was that kind of wingman). He said, "Get on your job". So I did. After she kissed me, I told her to hold on, cuz I was on my way to go get my friend. I was going to introduce them and let him hang out with her. I was just gonna stay n flirt with her sisters. But my group was nowhere to be found. Apparently, while I was talking to her, they left the bar. They called me and asked if I was going to go with them or stay. I was so pissed off cuz they just straight left me. I had only gotten to Hawaii from my last command a month before and this was my first time in downtown Waikiki. I told them to screw off, I decided to hang out with this lady and her sisters. Figure out how to get home later. And that's the rest of the story.

[@RyuThe3rd]

How long have y'all been together? Is your now wife from Hawaii?

[@ttp513]

@@RyuThe3rd she's actually from Northern Cali. One of her sisters was finishing her degree at BYU in Hawaii. She broke up with this dude who she caught cheating. She was all messed up about it, and her sis told her to go live with her in Hawaii. She paid for the ticket by making her ex believe she was pregnant and he had to pay for the abortion. When she landed in Hawaii, she called him and told him, "next time someone tells you they're pregnant, make sure you get proof, a-hole." Then went on living her life. So there she was, done with relationships, there I was, not wanting a relationship. And here we are over 10 years later.

[@t.l.c7481]

Story 2: your manager is jealous of you. I had one of those from my last employer. Toxic af!

[@greenbeacon394]

In the movie the “Wedding Singer” remember the old lady telling Adam Saddler about how many man she slept with?

[@mavinajfan]

The first story reminded me of my friend and her bf. My friend has been with her boyfriend for 11 years, they dated since they were in high school and lived together for about 5 years now. She offhand mentioned something about when they’re married to him and he said that he doesn’t really see himself ever getting married to her because she still has a lot of things about herself she needs to work on. She asked what he meant and he said you know you’re in therapy and some other bullshit. I looked at my friend who’s one of the kindest and no joke because it really shouldn’t matter but still she’s one of the most gorgeous girls I’ve ever met, she has a 4.0 gpa in her masters program, and has a job lined up for herself after we graduate. I told her to dump him, screw those 11 years. Every time I looked at him I’d feel slightly betrayed and like it was all a huge waste of time. She’s such a catch. They broke up for a month once a few years ago and they both came to each other crying that they needed the other. She’s still with him but as she wants to get married and have babies I hope he’s changed. It’s ultimately not my life or relationship. She’s in therapy, that really killed me. Why is taking care of your mental health care a bad thing? Answer, it’s not!

[@axepagode33626]

Story 2: OP you may consider this some form of malicious compliance, but in actuality, your management did you a favor. If a business is being managed well, over time should be severely limited. You should be able to do you job, take your breaks, go to lunch, and take your vacations without fear of losing your position. You said it yourself, the oversea team started giving you the information sooner to meet your 6 pm deadline ... as they should. They helped you reduce your hours and be more efficient.

[@vashtibalkaran8076]

The next time you see him say this." Thank you for pointing out to me, that I am not wife or mother material. I have come to realize that, you are not husband material also. Thank you".

[@MorganVsTheInternet]

Yh the fact that he was 21 and she was 18 when they started tells you everything you need to know. She’s just a fun bimbo that he can duck without having strings attached.

[@Citizenesse8]

Story 1 OP doesn't have to prove anything to him. She shouldn't put herself in some sort of box for him because she will be subsuming herself for him and he will take everything.

[@reneepallo7779]

The 405!? Damn! I have only been on that freeway 1 time where I was able to go 50, most of the time its a slow crawl or dead stop!

[@keepdancingmaria]

He's not going to be a good husband. To anyone. Make certain that anyone he isn't a good husband to isn't you.

[@TaliPolk]

it's so fucked that he would tell her he loved her and kissed her and held her for FIVE YEARS and never meant a single word of it. that's evil

[@standupstew1645]

So..............You slept with him on the first date,you have been faithfull to him for 5yrs,you have accomodated his sexual fantasies willingly,and with enthusiasm.you are fun loving and supportive.You are definately NOT wife material......for him......If I had known you,I would have married you so fast,it would make your head spin!and then spent the rest of my life congratulating myself that I had found a girl like you.