[2025加州大火---挖苦問與答] 問:2025這次的加州大火,燒得很不一樣啊。 答:一樣是燒房子啊!老戲碼了,有什麼不一樣? 問:燒到富人區了,以前沒燒過富人區的。 答:嗯,這樣說來,是有點不一樣。 問:我就納悶,一月7日剛開始有火時,民眾報案,為何消防隊不理? 答:因為加州的傳統規則是,讓火自然焚燒,咱要尊重自然生態。 問:很快的就燒到市民居住點了,為何消防隊還是沒救火? 答:因為都是沒繳錢的住戶,消防隊沒必要動作。 問:後來燒到富人區了,他們應該有繳錢了吧!? 答:那時發現,消防栓沒水。 問:那水庫應該有水吧!? 答:水庫也沒水。 問:那不是海景第一線的海景房嗎?已經是海邊了,海有水吧!? 答:因為用海水撒在陸地,容易造成土地鹼化。 問:都燒到家門口了,還在擔心鹼化? 答:怕土壤鹼化後,降低當地土地價值。 問:那燒完之後呢?可以拿到火險理賠金吧!預估可以拿幾成理賠金? 答:沒有理賠金! 問:為什麼? 答:因為早在幾個禮拜前,保險公司就已經通知保戶,加州自2025年起,除非願意另外簽訂高額保險契約,否則自動解除火險賠付,絕大多數的住戶,已經失去保險給付資格。 問:那災民該怎麼辦? 答:根據經驗,聯邦政府將提供緊急援助,協助修繕和重建房屋,雖然必須經由國會通過,但從經驗上來說,應該是會通過。 問:也就是說,無論這次損失有多大,聯邦政府都會解決? 答:你答對了!不愧是美國人! 問:聯邦政府有那麼多的錢嗎? 答:咱美元有印鈔機啊,印完之後,問題就解決了。 問:印完之後?那你這樣印錢,誰來還錢? 答:全世界啊!全世界的人,只要有用到美元的,共同分擔啊! 問:怎麼分擔?誰願意分擔啊? 答:不用他們同意啊!等到他們感覺到通貨膨脹後,自然就知道了!" --------------------------------------------- [2025 California Wildfires - Satirical Q&A] Q: The 2025 California wildfires feel quite different this time, don’t they? A: Still burning houses! Same old story. What’s so different? Q: It’s burning through the wealthy neighborhoods this time. That’s a first, isn’t it? A: Oh, you’re right. That is a bit different. Q: I’m puzzled. When the fire started on January 7th and people called 911, why didn’t the firefighters respond? A: Because California’s golden rule is to “let nature run its course.” We must respect the natural ecosystem. Q: But soon enough, the flames reached residential areas. Why didn’t they fight the fire then? A: Those residents didn’t pay their dues. No payment, no service. Q: Then it spread to the wealthy neighborhoods. Surely, they’ve paid their dues? A: By then, they realized there was no water in the hydrants. Q: But California has reservoirs, right? They must’ve had water! A: Reservoirs were dry too. Q: Wait a second. Aren’t these beachfront mansions? There’s literally an ocean right there! A: Using seawater on land can cause soil salinization. Q: The fire was at their doorstep, and they were worried about salinization? A: Damaged soil could lower property values. Q: After the fire, homeowners could at least claim fire insurance payouts, right? How much do they expect to get? A: Nothing at all! Q: Why not? A: A few weeks ago, insurers notified policyholders that starting in 2025, fire insurance coverage is void unless they pay for a premium contract. Most didn’t. Q: So, what’s next for the victims? A: Based on past events, the federal government will step in with emergency aid to help rebuild homes. It’ll need congressional approval, but it usually passes. Q: So no matter how much damage there is, the federal government will fix it? A: That’s correct! You’ve got the American spirit! Q: But does the federal government even have that kind of money? A: We’ve got printing presses, don’t we? Just print more dollars, and problem solved! Q: What happens after you print all that money? Who’s going to pay it back? A: The entire world! Everyone using U.S. dollars will pitch in. Q: How will they pitch in? Who’s willing to do that? A: Consent is irrelevant! Once inflation hits them, they’ll figure it out.