Best spectator comeback " how'd you do that?" Magician: "if I tell you I have to kill you".... spectator: : then just tell my wife"
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
ouch !!!
@jakemccordmagic Жыл бұрын
Houdini was a stage magician that used traps doors in his magic act. Unfortunately, he was only going through a stage.
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
:D
@galaxycaptain672 Жыл бұрын
After all these Jokes can you PLEASE do a review on some GOOD magician jokes so I can replace the ones I still use? Thanks David
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
or maybe you could write the next BEST joke
@codeartisan Жыл бұрын
"Make your mind go blank... That was quick" The tag to the hand joke "No the clean one..." (spectator switches hands) "Oh, my mistake"
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
wamp wamp wamp waaaaa
@rogerreeves7969 Жыл бұрын
Watch my fingers and make sure they never leave my hands. Roger Reeves Worst Joke not mention.
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
lol
@MichaelLawrenceMagic Жыл бұрын
That's funny.
@randycape8706 Жыл бұрын
Love it...thanks for sharing!
@craigchadburn4298 Жыл бұрын
Now here's the trick you've all been waiting for... My last one !
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
lol
@i-sarank8505 Жыл бұрын
Penn and Teller are like a married couple. One gets to speak 😂
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
i've never heard that one
@htmagic Жыл бұрын
'I learned that from a old Chinese Magician, Foo Ling Yu!' 😂
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
WOW! can't say that one anymore
@stevenmurdoch4783 Жыл бұрын
Is that fair? Good, I wouldn't want you to say I'm cheating. I will be cheating... I just don't want you to say it!
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
lol
@jamesedwards5702 Жыл бұрын
Magician shows one sleeve at a time: "Nothing here! Nothing here!" Then points to spectators head: "Nothing here!"
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
Lol
@greggscott4319 Жыл бұрын
"Folks, the tricks gets better... but the jokes get worse!" or "Take your time, I get paid by the hour!" TBH, I love the corny jokes. Most ppl have never seen magic live and most ppl can't remember a dumb joke they've heard before.
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
"Take your time, I get paid by the hour!" that's another one he said !!!
@cramermagic Жыл бұрын
How is a magician not like a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of 4!
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
Yep
@KevD_ Жыл бұрын
I performed some Rubik's cube tricks for my friends little boy. He was impressed. He said to me, "How did you do that?" I said, "Can you keep a secret?" He said, "No." So, I said, "Well, I am not telling you then."
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
lol
@tomcooper4841 Жыл бұрын
I was thinking of when they shuffle the invisible deck and you say "best to take the cards out of the box first!"
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
lol - yup !!!
@lewisturner6865 Жыл бұрын
And….oh, you dropped a card
@stevenmurdoch4783 Жыл бұрын
"Have you ever helped a magician... well you sure aren't now."
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
YES! the magician I saw SAID THAT ONE ALSO !!!
@stormyweather9917 Жыл бұрын
"You want me to do it again? What are you trying to do, steal my act?"
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
Lol
@LaurenceHudierez5 ай бұрын
I also got “can you make my wife disappear or gf” and I said “I’m a magician not a miracle worker
@magicorthodoxy5 ай бұрын
🤣🤣🤣
@dmontes133 Жыл бұрын
Most, if not all magician’s jokes are bad, old, or bad and old.
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
yup
@SeanDevine Жыл бұрын
When performing invisible deck, and you hand them the imaginary cards and ask them to shuffle. "No, you have to take them out of the box first!". PLEEAAASSE stop using this, guys.
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
yep
@Trevorious2010 Жыл бұрын
A Magician's favorite pickup line: For my next trick, I need a condom and a volunteer!
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
yuck
@mactrigun1 Жыл бұрын
They call me Mac-N-Cheese, because my name is Mac, and I'm cheezy. 😁🤓
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
yikes
@salbarajas Жыл бұрын
Spectator: Can you do that again? Magic Dealer: Once for Show Twice for Dough.
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
lol
@edward2785 Жыл бұрын
After having a card signed you say "I'll take the pen, that's how I got it". Woops, I see someone already used that one. OK, when doing strolling magic, how about, " I'm the wandering magician, and I just wandered if you'd like to see a trick."
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
ha ha
@Rhewin Жыл бұрын
On the mentalism side, “we’ve never met before, right? You sure seem happy about that.” It works if your name is Richard Osterlind or Banachek, otherwise just don’t.
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
lol
@Dave062YT Жыл бұрын
Here in Great Britain all forms of having fun[ and sporting events] have been canceled but I'll be sure to drop back after the funeral
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
all forms of having fun?
@Dave062YT Жыл бұрын
@@magicorthodoxy Yeah even Rugby !
@Dave062YT Жыл бұрын
The Great Norht Run [ half marathon] was allowed to go ahead because everyone knows running is no fun.
@jhutsebaut Жыл бұрын
Audience member: Tell me how you did that! Magician: I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you. Audience member: Tell my wife! 😃
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
wamp wamp waaaaa
@philmiller99 Жыл бұрын
When you hand a spectator the deck to shuffle...after they start shuffling, tell them "Now if you could just put the deck back in the original order that would be great."
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
lol
@stormyweather9917 Жыл бұрын
Magician performs a trick. Guy: Hey, how did you do that??? Magician: I could TELL you sir, but then I would have to kill you! {short pause} Guy: Okay. Then just TELL my wife!
@lewisturner6865 Жыл бұрын
Now, be honest …. Have we ever met before? Then how do you know it’s me? Can you tell one card from the other? What’s the other? (When a spectator joins you on stage) Can you please stand a little closer to the floor? Where are you from? (Spectator announces location) I’m sorry (Spectator repeats location( No, I heard you the first time, I’m just sorry (Spectator on stage and is in agreement with your question / statement) Cup your hand, as if you’re holding a cube of sugar and lift towards spectator’s mouth, while saying good answer or that-a-boy Just to be sure I can’t see, I will turn my back Yes, I’m aware that’s how Lincoln got it Ask spectator where they’re from (If they say the same community or city where you’re performing) Whew … you must be exhausted (Spectator selects a card) Show them the face of card and ask them to remember it and it they see any strand markings. Turn the card around, so that they are looking at the back of the card and ask if they see any strange markings on that side (You’d be surprised how many spectators are amazed when you announce the name of their card. The audience is in on the joke but not the spectator)
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
lol
@MyTardisGoWhoosh5 ай бұрын
Tbh some of these are actually pretty good
@magicorthodoxy5 ай бұрын
🤣🤣🤣
@MyTardisGoWhoosh5 ай бұрын
@@magicorthodoxy 😅😅
@Fast_Eddy_Magic Жыл бұрын
In the '70s, we used to say, "Hold out your hand...no the clean one...oh that was the clean one" and when you borrow a ring "Oh look, there's a space for a stone and everything!" Luckily I've never said these, but I have said "Now I'll make a magical pass...Hi there." a few times, changing it to "How YOU doin'?" after "Friends" came out.
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
lol
@MusMoroglu Жыл бұрын
Magician: “Say the Magic word” Volunteer: “Abracadabra” Magician: “No, just say the word ‘Magic’”
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
lol
@schwartzmagie9315 Жыл бұрын
But we must not forget that we perform for lay people, not for magicians - and most of these corny lines just deliver great reactions, the lay people don't know them and they enjoy them
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
very true ...
@roncalhoun2749 Жыл бұрын
How do I do it. With a lot of practice and a high degree of skill. Ron Calhoun
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
"...very very well"
@LaurenceHudierez5 ай бұрын
So I have one and filmed it 😂 so it’s with double cross when I dropped the X in there hand and I said “did you feel that?” No? Funny that’s my gf said anyways!”
@magicorthodoxy5 ай бұрын
nice
@KarstenJohansson Жыл бұрын
From my local magic shop: life's been tough. I was born at an early age.
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
ah, I see what you did there
@SoCalDan530 Жыл бұрын
spectator states "I know how you did that". the performer looks at the spectator and states "Great! let's not tell anyone"
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
yup
@presto709 Жыл бұрын
After the spectator signs a card I've heard magicians gesture for the pen and say "that's how I got it". I didn't understand the joke until I realized that the guy was repeating an old line without understanding it himself. The idea is supposed to be that you caught the spectator trying to steal your pen but you have to have the right body language and timing to convey that.
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
aahhh
@john12152 Жыл бұрын
How do you get a magician off of your front porch? Just pay for your pizza...
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
ive heard that joke but with a bass player
@jacksonsmagic Жыл бұрын
To a heckler.... "like to help you out sir, which way did you come in." .....or stronger, "when he was circumcised they threw away the wrong part"
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
yikes
@thestreet9537 Жыл бұрын
One of the dudes I tried to carry for a while ended up on AGT and told sharron ozborne “I don’t go to McDonald’s and bother you while you are working.” Line I knicked from Gazzos book. It’s about delivery timing and context. There are kings of Hack and I salute them. When someone asks if I can make his wife disappear I answer, “no but with that attitude I’m sure some other dude is already working on it! Smilesotheylikeyou
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
wow
@robh913 Жыл бұрын
My opinion on these "tired" jokes. If you are a performing magician, you've done your tricks hundreds of times. But, your audience is seeing the trick for the first time, in many cases. You have to make that trick believable to them. It's the same with the one liners you all are complaining about. While magicians have heard them over and over, your audience hasn't. Even if you are copying a line from a famous magician, if you don't sell it, they won't laugh. "Have you ever helped a magician... well you sure aren't now." - I haven't used that one... yet, but I probably will now. It made me laugh. The audience I tell it to hasn't heard it. Many magicians have no sense of comic timing and it shows when they try to deliver lines (I've been a professional improv comic for 20 years). You have to have proper timing and the ability to sell the line AND the trick. So, if you can't sell the line, don't use it. If you are gifted as a comedy writer, by all means, write your own material. Personally, I'd rather concentrate on practicing my tricks for my show than memorizing lines.
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
truth
@DJRosen Жыл бұрын
I got a call out :)
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
yup
@magicmedianews6594 Жыл бұрын
At 4:52, did you say stupid as*hole? Lol best joke name yet if so. If not , sorry Stu.
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
I didnt even notice that ... his name is Stu
@Wizard_433 ай бұрын
I went back and herd it 😂
@presto709 Жыл бұрын
Many of these lines have their place. For me, the problem is when magicians want to fill every pause with a line.
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
agreed
@jhutsebaut Жыл бұрын
I once pulled an entire truck tire out of this top hat! That was a Good Year... I used to work with a dove but he died of the flu. He flu into my ceiling fan... These are Bicycle brand cards. I got them from a peddler... 😅
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
lol
@kardtable Жыл бұрын
The magician flicks the selection out of the deck and fails to catch it. (and the card drops on floor face down) He turns to the spectator and says now for those of you that missed it, like I did the first time around...I'm going to do it again.
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
lol
@michaelprincipato9980 Жыл бұрын
At a kids birthday you bring up a 9 year old and you say "Are you married". Hahaha This was fun. I try to not say them but for some reason one might pop out of my mouth during a show and think to myself what an....that was not funny. Loving the membership section.
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
Exactly!!
@d1g1m1 Жыл бұрын
Excellent..! 😂
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
Thanks 😅
@CharlesAyrtonBlakeCobb Жыл бұрын
why did i thought of pigcake 🤣
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
I dont know
@markditullio4575 Жыл бұрын
If you ever find yourself using one of these (I know I have), just apologize by saying, “I’ll show myself out…”
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
YUP !!!!
@tilkka_ Жыл бұрын
Allready liking it. Just from title.
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
lol
@tilkka_ Жыл бұрын
@@magicorthodoxy "That's what you get with ××× years without a girlfriend." From Jason Maher. 😏
@westonding8953 Жыл бұрын
I need to come up with some of my own jokes and gags! 😀
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
we all do !!!
@jhutsebaut Жыл бұрын
If the jokes are bad enough the audience will supply the gags... 😁
@RobertBallMagician Жыл бұрын
OMG l have heard many of these. Thank you for sharing David. 😂😂😂😂😂👍🤜🤛🙂🙂
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
No problem 👍
@gonzalochoque5660 Жыл бұрын
Now the best ones 😁
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
:D
@jaytpmc Жыл бұрын
I'll tell you what the most overused phrases of all time are "like so" and "just like that" I think every single magaican everywhere has said "just like that" at some point
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
Ooh good one
@egonmilanowski Жыл бұрын
I don't mind heckler lines being used if there is a heckler. The goal is to shut them down and move on with your show. And while clearly not a heckle, I also do not mind positive statements to the question, "How did you do that?" Saying, "Quite well" or, "With years of practice" provides a quick line with a degree of honesty to it and lets you move forward with your show. Saying, "I have no friends" certainly doesn't help your image, unless your character is a hapless nerd.
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
#truth
@janvolleberg4829 Жыл бұрын
Some did make me laugh....
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
:D
@allanrubinstein382 Жыл бұрын
Gail....that was my name when i was a?Girl
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
gail?
@keithwolfe-festivalandstreet Жыл бұрын
@@magicorthodoxy little girl
@zachcalametti Жыл бұрын
Sounds like you were watching a G.W. tutorial...? He's great, and I love him, but his performances are FULL of these jokes!
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
??? nope ... I dont know who that is? Greg Wilson?
@zachcalametti Жыл бұрын
@@magicorthodoxy yeah, it seemed like you didn't want to call the guy out, but I've got a lot of his tutorials, and I thought for sure you were watching one of them... I would have bet that you had just watched his 24 Karat Fold... he's got some "zingers" in there =)
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
@@zachcalametti nope not him
@nick0703 Жыл бұрын
I saw a kids magician ask the audience “what’s the magic word?” And a kid shouted “please”
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
thats a good line for a magician! The audience member says "Abracadabra" and you say ... "No, it's please."
@emmanlichangco3425 Жыл бұрын
nxt review combo wallet by TCC
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
I dont have that one yet
@drumman1185 Жыл бұрын
Excuse me while I pull out my deck…
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
YIKES !!!!
@jackAndrews666 Жыл бұрын
I can’t believe you read my comments.
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
:D
@jerryRp90x Жыл бұрын
Lol, great stuff
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
:D
@calvo_en_moto Жыл бұрын
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
🤣
@paulkelly1162 Жыл бұрын
"How does it work?" Ancient Chinese secret: Chi-ting. **does dumb magic gesture** "...that's it." Every invisible deck line: "Do you see the invisible deck?" "Shuffle them for me...don't forget to take them out of the box" "This guy is actually playing along". I still get a kick out of Bill Malone's ID routine. Unfortunately there are are so many exposure videos, calling it the "invisible deck" is a dead give away. There was about three months where every 100 people, someone new the invisible deck. Then I put an "X" on the front and back of the pairs, having them all face the same way. No one is the wiser. I personally still use horrible one liners occasionally. I'm pretty self-aware about it, so I usually play it off for cringe laughs. Then you can use dumb "(e)x" jokes. It's fun to combine with doublecross.
@magicorthodoxy Жыл бұрын
lol
@keithwolfe-festivalandstreet Жыл бұрын
I hate you for this David you know how much time money and energy I spent to learn these jokes? Now I got milliniels on my pitch thinking they're funnyman. Smilesotheylikeyou