Making a Dress to Avoid Responsibility

[@velvetvert9431]

Once I was teaching a friend a craft skill. I demonstrated. She said, "well what if I skip this one step?" I said, "I strongly recommend that you do all the steps." She said, "I think I'll skip the step." I said, "I guess if you want to try that you can, but I wouldn't." Well, she skipped the step and her thing didn't work. And she said "you didn't tell me I had to do that step." So now I no longer strongly recommend things, I just say, "you need to do it this way." Love that socialization to soften things that don't need softening!

[@melissad7855]

I coach women to substitute the word 'unfortunately' for 'I'm sorry' if the feel they absolutely need a sentence starter to soften it.

[@leecarlson9713]

Great idea!

[@SparkleFeyed]

The reason I say "I'm sorry" in a situation such as a wrong number is not because I did anything wrong, but because they may be embarrassed and I am expressing sympathy toward them. I say "I think" because I come across as a know-it-all when I don't say it, and it ends up with a meeting with HR 😕. If I say "I think" people don't take it so hard. Basically, both phrases are used to soften the blow and be mindful of the recipient's feelings rather than anything actually necessary on my part.

[@aquaaurora2747]

Wrong # messages: use to say “wrong #”, when someone started texting still I just don’t respond now and automatically block them. Don’t need the drama thank you. I got stuck with the “I’m sorry” response habit due to a roomie I had for half a semester a long time ago who used it CONSTANTLY. I hate it, and have to really concentrate to not use it. It’s become almost an acknowledgement response instead of a ‘need’ for apology.

[@tezzanoia]

Regarding putting "I think" at the beginning of a sentence… I usually add things like that on absolutely everything I say that has even just a 0.1% chance of not being correct. In my case it's really just my autism wanting to be super uber mega correct and therefore making sure I emphasise even the slightest bit of being unsure

[@Ellaodi]

The wrong number thing, I do the same. We've been trained as women to tread lightly, apologize, excuse other people's behavior and make others around us comfortable. I think is the same, but also considered politely telling someone theyre wrong You got this girl.

[@dawsie]

Yep I get them a lot in the past few years lol, I find it funny as I have had the same number since 1993, that’s when I bought mine and hubbies first mobile phones which gave us running numbers so we never forget our numbers. If they leave me spoken message I ring the person back to let them know. I never really stopped to think why I apologised to them as you say we are brought up to be polite.

[@LoriPeace]

See? I should have come down here to find your comment -- I just spent ten minutes typing the same basic thing! LOL

[@carlastevens5717]

Hey at least it's better than my go to "Bless your heart" 😂

[@Gandellion]

Yeah, I’m always softening myself to not come off as too assertive

[@LoriPeace]

@@Gandellion Isn't it a shame that we feel we have to do that? How dare we be "too assertive"? 😥

[@irisl2508]

My favorite response to a wrong number text is " it's done but there's blood everywhere". It can get really interesting from there 😂

[@leecarlson9713]

I smiled a lot when I read this! Thanks!

[@oakdream]

You saying "And I don't think that I'm sorry about it. Progress!" Brought me so much joy, you don't even know! haha

[@rebecca7766]

It’s nice to see a fellow “I want to figure it out myself instead of look it up” person 😂 It’s so much more satisfying to me if I can figure things out myself and don’t have to follow a tutorial or pattern

[@AmPlant]

I don't think I ever had the "I'm sorry" thing, but I did have one wrong number that REALLY should have apologized to me. It was a nursing home in another state that called, asking for a name I didn't know. I ignored the first call. Then they texted me, and I told them they had the wrong number. Then they called me two more times, the second of which rang through my "do not disturb" because they had called twice, and awoke me from a much needed nap. Then they called me again and were going to wake my fiancee up from his nap...which I was not dealing with. I picked up the phone and told them to stop calling me because they had the wrong number. The person on the other end went "so...do *you* need senior care?" and I was like NO! leave me alone! Then they called me AGAIN and I blocked the number. *That* should have come with an apology from the nursing home

[@karolienvd4341]

So I found your videos because of the sewing and while I really love that part too, I actually really like your videos because of your fun personality and random chats, love it! :D

[@aimee-made]

BEST way I've found to turn long, skinny stuff: find a reusable straw - I think the one I have is on the "fat" side. Not a corrugated one, just a straight one. Get a chopstick. Put the tube over the straw. Using the chopstick, push the closed end of the tube INTO the straw and out the other side. And as for that "I think that," "I just want to", or "it might be...." I have made a very conscious effort to strike these from my business email language. It's weak. It makes it sound as though I don't know my area of expertise, when I DO. If I don't know, I'll say so. If I do know, I say so. Words matter! Your self-awareness of the way we use language is so relatable to this proud word nerd!

[@gettheetothestitchery]

Ooooo okay straw and chopstick on my list of tricks to try! And I so agree - words matter a lot! I am all for people being honest when they truly aren't sure about something and apologizing when they've actually made a mistake, but I just find myself overusing those phrases so unnecessarily, as though I never know what I'm talking about and I've always made a mistake. Being aware is the first step forward though!

[@updownstate]

@@gettheetothestitchery When I moved from New York to Arizona in 85 I would make a simple declarative statement (I don't want to see that movie. I like mine fried. I keep the door locked. No dogs on the furniture.) and people would accuse me of being aggressive. That's pretty much worn off though recently a friend told me that a mutual friend had said to her, "Diane says what everyone thinks."

[@rosiethornock4794]

I have a gadget called a fasturn that I love and it's the fastest, easiest tube turner... Same concept as a straw & chopstick. They still sell them, but I found mine vintage on eBay

[@lydiaschumann3945]

Happy to collude on the avoidance of adulting...for the length of this episode anyway...looking forward to more episodes 😊

[@MedEvil1c]

Felt right to watch this while I was avoiding adult responsibilities 😅

[@dawnfitch9206]

Wanted to let you know that there is a technique for pockets. Instead of taking the entire pocket up to the waistband, you use a piece of twill tape. You sew it to the top of the pocket and then sew the other end into the waist band or seam. Hope that makes sense, I am bad at explaining, also can not find the video I sew it in. Maybe Bernadette Banner or the Closet Historian videos... Anyways hope this helps.

[@lynn858]

I had the same thought. It's a Bernadette Banner video. I believe it's in the black velvet dress she sews for costume college when she was still in NY.

[@bunhelsingslegacy3549]

@@lynn858 Also I think in one of the early victorian walking skirt videos Bernadette drafted from Keystone book

[@OrthodoxMidwife]

@@bunhelsingslegacy3549Yeah, I think it was a walking skirt video too. This community is so cool

[@wee_haggis6374]

I saw it in something the other day too,, I want to say it was a ren fair or a cosplay skirt :/

[@lisapage4270]

I am amazed that you can whip that dress up without a pattern. How very creative you are!

[@goodfriendacres5633]

"I'm sorry." Thr problem is our society uses "I'm sorry" to cover both sympathy and apology. We don't say " I appologize". So we no longer have a clear difference. And then ppl think we are apologizing all the time. It's clearer when "I'm sorry" can be used to express sympathy for someone, sorrow for their mistake, awkward situation or whatever. And "I appologize" for when we make a mistake, cause offense, inconvenience, etc. We'd have richer communication with each other if we could just simply used these words properly.

[@custoMary.designs.creations]

I love that the drawstring has falls in a way that it creates a very neat visual, like a button front and it's super cute!

[@kathicudney3594]

I have watched all your videos. I watch you half for the content and half for your hilarious commentary.

[@lauramurphy]

Wishing you good vibes! Also, if you take requests for bad ideas, you should make lace pants. Not like cute lace shorts, but like honest to goodness pants. I haven't been able to get that idea out of my head since I thought of it.

[@gettheetothestitchery]

LACE PANTS! They're going on my list!

[@kathyjohnson2043]

I've seen a picture of stretch lace leggings.

[@updownstate]

@@kathyjohnson2043 So have I and I advise everyone to wear underwear under them.

[@kathyjohnson2043]

@@updownstate 👍

[@Gandellion]

Thrills and Stitches has a good way of turning rubes right side out! She sews the tube, then hand sews some thread to one end and pushes the blunt end of the needle through.

[@pamelapruitt2558]

I've used various tools to turn a tube. A long knitting needle or an actual bodkin works well. And there is a 3 pack of progressively sized tubes commercially available. I saved a diaper pin from the late 70s and use it to run elastic or a drawstring thru a casing.

[@lynzilancaster-xx9jf]

You've just reminded me of the nappy (I'm from UK) pin that my Mum kept. She passed 16 yrs ago, so it ended up with me! I use it for elastic too. My Daughter has just had her 3rd 🚼 3 months ago, it will probably end up in her possession when I go.

[@app103]

Sew a long skinny shoelace inside your cord, then sew over the end to attach it, then pull the shoelace to turn it right side out and cut off the end of the cord/shoelace.

[@debbiesnyder4778]

You make me laugh!!! I’m amazed you make your clothes without patterns. You are very talented

[@kayn70]

Love the dress. Stepping in the gravel barefoot is dedication

[@gettheetothestitchery]

Hahhahaha I have feet of steel!

[@christinegoetsch3843]

I’ve been sewing for darn near 60 years, since I was 5 years old…you do the math. I have yet to trust myself to make anything without a pattern. You inspire me to give it a shot. I love your sense of humor and you are really talented. I’m happy when you don’t care if you are doing something the way it "should" be done. Your instincts are spot on!

[@TheGardenKitten]

I just found your channel. I love the silly and fun way you sew. The chaotic dress, turned out wonderfully. Thank you for sharing .

[@EmmaFromEly]

Sending good vibes! 🤞 all the adulting goes smoothly and you can return swiftly to stitching and chill times. I for one enjoy the chatting.

[@Magnificent_Mo]

I literally have that “store bought” dress in 3 different colors and I came to get inspiration for making some replacements since I wear them so much…

[@RoundMtnDryGoods]

I seriously like the comfy with a drawstring idea. I think I'll try this idea with sleeves!

[@elizabethgeorge8463]

Love this dress, if I saw it in a shop I would have to buy it- it’s a dress with pockets- the holy grail for dress wearers. I’ll try to make it one day.❤ your channel

[@catherineliu06]

That "i'm sorry" and "i think" tangent is so relevant to my life I stopped apologizing for every little thing. But almost to the detriment of my relationship Things I think don't need an apology. But the other person would feel better if I did. I was simply trying to train myself to stop apologizing for things all the time and I. WENT. TOO. FAR.

[@AngelCCD]

Part of that is because it’s a way to be polite. We feel sorry for the person not getting the person they wanted. They will probably end up apologizing after they realize they goofed. If we had other words, we would probably use them. My hubby always makes statements like they are true. He can’t prove them, but he is right even when he’s wrong. By using these phrases, we can keep an attitude that if someone proves us to be wrong, we don’t look so foolish 😊

[@raraavis7782]

Ah yes...procrastinating. My favorite pastime, as well 😅

[@rhonddalesley]

Saying ‘I think’ is far more preferable to me than saying ‘I feel’ or ‘it feels’ which is being said completely out of context and way too often these days and it drives me mad! Two crappy examples: ‘I feel that this skirt is too long for me’, ‘I feel that this soup needs more salt’, what? We feel emotions and sensations and they can’t be applied to physical things in the way people do. Watching the Great British Sewing Bee has been getting excruciatingly worse as every season goes by: ‘it feels like there should be more gathers’, ‘it feels like those colours don’t really go together’, ‘I feel like the zip is too short’ etc etc aaagghhhhh! Is it just me?

[@gloriaash7511]

So cute! I need to get over my irrational fear of sewing stretchy fabrics.

[@leecarlson9713]

I am right there with you on that! I love knit dresses, but am terrified of sewing one! And right now, I am doing a lot of hand sewing-I can’t imagine how trying to hand sew a knit dress would go!

[@makerjanedesigns6405]

For the straps, sewing in 1/4 inch clear elastic along the seam will reinforce the seam and help prevent it from sagging on the hanger and when worn.

[@ironrose888]

Beautiful dress and a drawstring is a great idea. I usually use elastic but I really like how it turned out. I have been sewing my own clothes for most of my life and your videos are very entertaining. 😊

[@m.jewell9107]

If you're trying to turn a long narrow strip of fabric, sometimes it's easier to fold/iron the long edges to the center, press and then fold the folded edge to the center, press again and topstitch on the right side/outside. It seems to make a stronger drawstring too, but the stitching does show...

[@vickipeck3624]

That turned out cute!

[@gubjorggisladottir3525]

7:14 starting with "I think" or "sorry,..." is a way to avoid confortations. I also use "as far as I know" or "I´ve been told that..." also to avoid any "attacts" I also have used "it seems as..." just to not get answers like "you are racist! "you natzi" and so on... I am telling what I know to be truth... but putting it as if I am not sure, just to avoid being labeled with nasty concepts.

[@mistiwhitea4896]

You can still use the embroidery floss what you need to do is tie a knot in the end then sew it

[@gettheetothestitchery]

Bahahaha yeah I can't believe I didn't think of that...

[@karebear3152]

from what I've seen of bird videos, it seems like many birds lay one egg every day or two until their "clutch" is complete, so yes, one will be less developed than the other usually as they were laid, and hatched a couple days apart. 🤷‍♀ As for the dress. It's cute! I definitely prefer the "empire" waist line with the full skirt situation over something lower due to how I'm built.

[@judithcollins3744]

Love your thinking out loud.

[@nommh]

There is 1/2 inch stretch bands of interfacing to stabilise such things as side seam pockets. Maybe a little hard to find, but well worth the effort of finding and using itl

[@sharonwarbler6550]

I am a little scared of knits but have made this empire line dress (self-drafted as I've never used a pattern) in wovens with an elastic waist. All my pockets are secured into the waistline wherever it is. So what if my pockets are 14" long from top to bottom? They're fab, all my friends love them and ask if they can be added to their clothes. Of course, but I'm too busy with my own fabric stash to do it for you. My mum can't thread a needle and I've learned everything from KZbin. I say, if it feels right, go for it.

[@CootiePootieTootie]

Haha, unfortunately, those are still probably spam. I've gotten so many of those that now I say, "Hey, I think you have the wrong number. Out of safety for myself, I'm going to block your number, because there's so much spam out there. But if this is legit, I hope you can get hold of your friend". My observation when I use "I think" is when I am trying to help someone from feeling stupid and I apply the I think part onto a statement that wasy second choice to say. Like, if I say "I think you have the wrong number", what I am trying to soften is "you typed the wrong number," which seems significantly harsher. Just my two bits on how my brain processes it. 😂

[@christiamccubbins3251]

You and I have the same sewing machine, and I love watching your videos. You have helped me so much. Much love.

[@carriemeaway9837]

Bodkin! I turn all my tubes that way and have never had an issue.

[@gettheetothestitchery]

Yeah I hardcore need to get one!

[@robintheparttimesewer6798]

Yeah I say "I'm sorry" all the time. You dial the wrong number, walk into me whatever I will apologise. It's a trained response like what I say when asked how I am. I always say fine. Even at a doctor's appointment! Adulting sucks sometimes. I will send go vibes after I ask the kids about it! But really sometimes you need a break it's not like the laundry is going anywhere. Or really any of the boring domestic crap that we do, it waits. The dress is brilliant it looks comfy!

[@villagesteader3552]

Any birds most vulnerable time is when they spend time on the ground after leaving the nest. The parents are probably near to troubleshoot!♥️

[@TheKjoy85]

I broke a needle on my mom's sewing machine as a teenager. I didn't know that there are different types of needles for different types of materials. I was trying to fix the back pocket on a pair of my brother's jeans. The thread had come undone on one corner and inexperienced me thought that I could fix it while sewing through at least 3 layers of heavy denim. I didn't get very far before the needle gave up. I don't know for sure, but I think I was using the wrong type of thread, too. I clearly didn't know enough to attempt what I was attempting, but my mom didn't get mad at me. There was a point where my dad, my brother, and I all wore Carhart denim or duck canvas pants. My dad wore them for work, and it was usually the heavy duck canvas in brown or black. He worked as a fiberglass grinder for a boat manufacturer. He washed his work clothes separately from the rest of our laundry. My brother was training to be a welder. I was taking animal science in high school and spent 2 hours a day on our school district's farm learning how to work with, care for, and show livestock.

[@smchalk3535]

My response to a wrong number text is either a no response at all or “oh my gosh I’m so sorry I’m not so and so I hope you find the right number for so-and-so and have a great day.” The dress turned out wonderful.

[@Rhyzal_]

To the wrong number thing: Yep, I do it, too. My new approach: "I'm afraid you have the wrong number." 👍

[@sonjadalglish6544]

This is pretty amazing!! Wonderful video. Thanks! Love your thinking out loud.

[@juliabillman4693]

A way to gather evenly is to sew two rows evenly apart and then pull both threads at the same time

[@Harphoney]

Your dress is super cute on you! Good job.

[@helenbrown3337]

Gorgeous dress...looks super comfy x❤

[@BumblingBee-xm4dy]

6:22 bc the words “i think” come off as less of a threat/ less aggressive and make you sound more polite its exactly like saying “i believe you have the wrong number” its a natural response to try to lessen the embarrassment of others by being sweeter or more polite idk its a mental thing which sounds nicer? “Yeah, you got the wrong number” or i think/believe you have the wrong number” in therapy its called using “i feel” statements which make you take Responsibility for your own emotions rather than accusing someone by telling them their action made you feel such and such its a means of avoiding conflict lol

[@LoriPeace]

To your non-point about saying "I'm sorry" or "I think" when replying to a wrong number text, saying those phrases softens your tone. If you just say "You have the wrong number," it can come across as rude or a slap in the face to the other person. "I think you have the wrong number," even though it's a text, sounds to me like you're smiling. But yes, we women have been socialized to preface our statements with "I think" or "it seems to me that" during discussions as a way of coming off softer and more feminine. Men are less likely to use those phrases.

[@janetj3072]

Dress came out super cute. Not a weird length at all.

[@evatate8213]

Your mind is amazing!!! 🎉

[@jenedge5579]

I would say, I’m sorry, to start that text. It’s not an apology, it’s the same kind of sorry when you say it to someone who had a loss. You’re just recognizing they may experience discomfort at the receipt of your text.

[@convenientlycrafty3278]

I love this dress. Im hoping by listening to your videos while I work, it will cause my brain to miraculouly beable to sew something, even just an apron would be a nice start. Thanks for the inspiration.

[@stephaniehudson4762]

I am coming to LA area in Dec. can’t wait to take a trip during my visit to Remnants! Thanks for your introduction!!!

[@m.jewell9107]

Remainders?

[@stephaniehudson4762]

@@m.jewell9107 you’re right.

[@lindabrotherton1225]

You are such a beautiful genius ❤️

[@n3rdygrl]

This dress looks perfectly comfy! I'd love to figure out fitting the bodice. I have yards of a stretchy knit I'd love to use up! If you had extended the embroidery thread past the end seam and tied a knot outside the seam it would have worked.

[@gettheetothestitchery]

Yeah, definitely a face palm moment there... Hahaahahah

[@RebeccaTreeseed]

I fold and iron, then sew the seam on the outside. No turning. I have fully lined tops for decades, much better.

[@karisteinbacher4535]

Use a safty pin to pull through your ties

[@barbarawalls9040]

I love how you think. LOL I think we are related. 🤣🤣🤣

[@MeadowoodRanch]

Sending good vibes!!! May moving go smoothly.

[@StrongImaginationA]

I don't understand the mechanics but I'm very proud of you for figuring it all out! 😂

[@fwogboy]

i actually think (hah) that the "i think..." and "im sorry" quirks are not inherently bad - as long as you're not actually feeling bad that you did something wrong. personally, when i use those phrases, im saying them not because i am apologizing for something i did, but because i want to be considerate to the other person who may have experienced an inconvenience - even if its not my fault, or really anyone's fault. or in the case of "i think", i don't want to be overly assertive, and i want to leave room for someone to add their thoughts, especially if it's a sensitive or personal topic. of course these phrases are tied to being socialized in a way that is directly caused by systemic oppession, but i don't think these social politenesses are necessarily bad (again, as long as it isn't actually self-degrading).

[@Mamasmovietime]

Very very cute dress.

[@libby2012]

Very pretty dress

[@makerjanedesigns6405]

Maybe you can say “unfortunately you have the wrong number “ you acknowledged that it’s a bummer for the other person but also you are not assigning guilt to yourself.

[@sewwithmsjones1196]

"I think" both the "I think" and the "I'm sorry" in this case would indicate politeness, rather than indecision or regret. 'Tis all about civility even when addressing a stranger.

[@OrthodoxMidwife]

I hold the same opinion about politeness. One has to be very intentional using language that is both sure and polite. I would send to the number something like “You’ve got the wrong number darling, but I hope you have a pleasant day and reach the person you’re trying to contact.” Haha

[@annetaundry3690]

Hi! looking this video to avoid responsibility, in France

[@updownstate]

I got a Singer Simple to supplement my 1929 Singer with zigzag stitch. Where is the best place to get bobbins and needles for the Simple? It makes me crazy by threading front to back instead of side to side btw.

[@bunhelsingslegacy3549]

Aaah, procraftination... my house shows definite signs of the same.

[@mirjanbouma]

Procraftination is a brilliant word!

[@AllTheHappySquirrels]

The way I would rather be sewing right now than working. 😅

[@stephaniebriggswilton1954]

My wonderful husband MacGyver'd me a tool out of a wire clothes hanger for turning tubes.

[@kathyjohnson2043]

I think the fit is perfect and I like the length, especially with flats (or barefoot).

[@carolreid9755]

Sending tons and tons of good vibes lovely❤❤

[@kellybryson7754]

Cute. For the wrong number, you could say, "Oops" that way you neither apologize or accept responsibility.

[@dunkel429]

Just curious what you do with your “I don’t think I’m gonna wear this” garments.

[@gettheetothestitchery]

Right now they are in a tub in the closet! Don't want to get rid of them anytime soon because they really tell the story of my sewing journey, but maybe one day I'll try to recycle them!

[@kkcliffy2952]

I would've just made the drawstring out of tshirt yarn. No sewing on the drawstring and no turning it right side out

[@BettyOs]

Ironing for posterity 😂, I used to call my folders of selfies back in the day for posterity.

[@daalelli]

This is super cute! I'm sorry you missed the first flight.

[@middlemuse]

I’ve gotten wrong number texts in a similar vein that actually were still scammers. Like if I answer that it’s the wrong number, they go oh, god bless you, you’re so kind, what’s your name?

[@magswilliams-fuller8879]

No judgement here, I'm watching this to avoid responsibilities and I'm way old enough to know better.

[@Hans0001]

Watching as I’m putting in pockets

[@Simplesavemoney]

Very cool, buddy.

[@mapleleaf0]

I like the length :).

[@galegleim2306]

How about when people order in a restaurant. They ask the waitress “can I have……”. Are you asking her permission? Why?

[@anastasiagallant4297]

I don't think you're wrong on that one

[@sarahnichols9639]

I have never sewed knit fabric. Is this something you just have to jump in and learn or do you have pointer you could share?

[@lforsey1899]

I'd definitely recommend watching at least one knit-specific tutorial.

[@gettheetothestitchery]

Getting some info from videos or books would definitely be helpful, but honestly - I just dove in! I think the main thing to remember is to not stretch your fabric at all while sewing it and use the proper needle for knit, but I really haven't had too much trouble sewing with it - I think it's one of those things that gets a little more negative hype than it deserves!

[@CM-xn6xc]

Cute!

[@raraavis7782]

Very pretty. Lollipop colors 🍭. Have to try this method of doing a self lining. Very clever. I had a text message from a stranger only once in my life. It was a perfectly innocuous message, but the guy promptly tried to hook up with me, when he realized, I was a woman 😆.

[@gettheetothestitchery]

Uuuuuuuugh that's the worst! (creepy stranger texts, that is)

[@gailrodgers3079]

I hate it when my very expensive machine makes that kinds of noise. Well I have always hated it no matterr the cost of the machine, but if I killed my expensive one, I don't think I have enough tissue in the house for crying. As to ironing for posterity, was that really you ironing? No face was seen, perhaps it was your husband??? I like your dress! Clothes for me also have to comfortable, and more comfortable and have pockets.

[@carriemeaway9837]

Househunting ?!?