Maladaptive Daydreaming vs Mind wandering - How To Tell the Difference

[@asia1360]

I usually spend HOURS in my room, isolated, listening to music, and dancing back and forth while I maladaptive daydream. It is addicting! My trigger is music. It's hard to stop and it started when I was young.

[@DevTheDudeRN]

OMG...CAN I TALK TO YOU?! I've been experiencing this for years and never knew it was an actual thing !

[@Mrixna]

Me too! I'm 28 and this started when I was around 10 and it still continues but it's not as severe. I always need music too, that's why I still love long trips by train or car where I can find relax and contunue the storyline 😅 Or during walks. There have been soooo many "lives" that I've lived in those dreams. It's as normal and automatic as breathing 🎶

[@xorsama]

Same...i usually do it with music, but not always....not always happy tho... sometimes i imagine killing n torturing people, other tines getting famous ... sometimes world domination etc,. These days is really bad cuz i have a crush on someone lol

[@asia1360]

@@DevTheDudeRN I know, its refreshing to hear that someone else maladaptive daydreams!

[@asia1360]

@@Mrixna Same, I lived so many lives as well! It started around 10 for me too and I'm 27. I've talked to my therapist about, but it's like they dont want to dive deep into it because theres not that much info. Best of luck to you.

[@qcooper2004]

I never knew this was an actual condition. I’ve done this my whole life to deal with loneliness and other negative emotions.

[@melly1974]

I didn't either. I just thought it was part of my personality. I never saw it as a problem cause like you said, it helps deal with things in life

[@BrigadieraRanaLogica]

@@melly1974 same

[@maximwilson1482]

I miss doing this when i was a kid...much better coping mechanism then those that I engage in now

[@jasminesanders4268]

SAME, girl. I thought I was the only one... virtual hug 🌻

[@adlinreese]

they said it technically wasn't a condition (thankfully) but a description of mannerism, it seems somewhat common enough for there to be a term for it

[@lexlixatkwa7nelson3]

I've accidentally made myself cry so many times (I don't cry often) because of things happening to my characters, and the stories get so real I'll be spaced out for hours trying to fall asleep. Usually when a new character comes up I'll rethink and reorganize their life stories multiple times, and then go back to the main storyline...

[@paulovemx2222]

It's incredible how many people have this same weird thing, every comment I see I relate to a 100% and this is no exception, I do this too and I thought I was mad crazy but I guess it's just a way to release something we feel?

[@rojalinipanda7736]

Holy shit exactly, it's so hard for me to sleep coz I want to sleep but I want to still be in the scenarios, my feets are injured with how much I walk around the house and cry out of nowhere, my parents hate it tho they think I don't have good habits but it's the only way to cope with life

[@mrmustashio274]

I do this so much and I have to hide that m crying because of my daydream because I share a room with my twin I honestly relate to everything you wrote, especially the last part

[@mitzy8182]

wow, huge same. sometimes I even get scared about it

[@your-regina]

I do that as well, I re-start stories all the time too

[@jordanthompson1418]

This comment section has to be the most comforting I've ever read. Thought for a while I was going crazy. Due to the pandemic I've spent way too much time alone and that means escaping deeper into my fantasies/alternate reality storylines. I never think about myself or my life, that feels weird (is that weird? lol). But to read that a lot of other people do this (especially to fall asleep! I can ONLY sleep this way, like reading myself a story without the visual stimulus) is soooo comforting. Thanks for sharing everybody. Whoever you are I love your intentional daydreaming and stories. : )

[@nekoeko500]

Same here. I started long before the pandemic though

[@goodx_charlie4142]

I spent 42 years of my life doing this. In me it reinforces that I'm not good enough in life and is a response to tasks that will move my life forward but cause fear and anxiety. This the first time in my life that I haven't allowed myself. I previously stopped for a few weeks but having accomplished a few meager tasks I gave myself a daydream treat. Just a couple of hours is ok. 3 weeks later and 1 very intricate narrative later, I decided I could no longer give myself any quarter. That was a month ago. Life is taking a slight upturn and I'm trying to build on that. .....they're as bad as heroin for me.

[@Orion-midnight]

Wow reading you comment is crazy, cause is the same for me: I can only fall asleep if I imagine a story, wether if I'm a character there or not. I have done that since I can remember and I don't know any other way to fall asleep

[@sonatestd2085]

i thought for a second that you were jordan peterson

[@alicedesseria9366]

LITERALLY! The fact that some ppl just fall asleep without needing a daydream storyline blows my mind

[@stephaniespivak6225]

For me it’s always been fantasies that satisfy the needs that aren’t met in real life. Support, connection, non judge mental, love, friendship. As a kid I was alone and bullies by friends and family because of my neurodivergences. In my daydreams I was accepted and the only drama I had I controlled. It was sad but it got me through childhood

[@blubbblubb6239]

I also started with MDD when I was around 13 years old. I realized that it comes up, when certain needs are not met. Feeling seen, taken serious, getting enough emotional attention etc.. I have high functioning depression (which got chronic) and MDD often coincides with getting worse depressive symptoms with still functioning outside and feeling left alone by other people. Unfortunately even most professionals don't get it and tend to label it as normal daydreaming or as a vacation like relaxation, which it is definitely not. It feels addictive and kind of heartwarming, whereas I dream about bad things not feeling good...

[@charitylankford9987]

Hi, I think this all makes sense. I’m in my head a lot and can become very preoccupied and come across to other people as apathetic and then another time happy because I’m not in my head. But this is where I get confused. I’m not sure if I call them fantasies or ruminations. I think about thanks I want to do and accomplish, but I deal with depression that it really bad PMS so I’m good to go for about a week or two and I’m happy and then the rest of the month I’m in my head thinking about all the things that could go wrong, or all the things that will never be right and it’s almost like an obsession. And I can’t let it go. I also have some thoughts that feel intrusive like One of my kids getting hurt in the image that it plays in my mind. It’s scary. If I don’t take citalopram then it’s worse. Almost like I’m paranoid super high strong and hyper vigilant frozen almost

[@charitylankford9987]

Does this happen for anyone else. I’m just really confused about the fantasy part.

[@rubycubez1103]

It gets me through adulthood lol

[@RosheenQuynh]

😭 The love part hit me hard, I feel so alone and with my self-loathing, this is the only way to love myself and feel loved...

[@gg-ke1gp]

Honestly I could cry. I’m 27 years old (female). I’ve been doing this since I was a child until now. I pace around, listen to music, use body motions and gestures, and even voice out entire dialogues between fantasy “me” and other characters. I need to be alone, away from other people so I will go into another room, or even shut myself in a bathroom or closet if I don’t have a room. It feels like an urge that must be satisfied, like thirst or hunger, so I’m compelled to daydream and act my fantasies on a daily basis, even for a short time. I know I am daydreaming, yet I imagine experiencing stories in great detail, so I cannot focus on what is going on in reality. I become so emotionally invested in these stories, like others may become invested in books or movies. There’s nothing that feels more weird than having to lock myself in a bathroom to pace around and gesture what’s going on in my head, and, for a lack of better term, I just thought I was just a f*cking weirdo. Knowing there is a term for this, that it’s recognizable, that I’m not ALONE and so many others can relate...it gives me such a sense of relief I could cry. It’s been my “secret” for DECADES and now I can finally explain it.

[@noamshavit485]

I relate so much to every word you said ❤ lots of love

[@mutterbuffin6916]

Thank you! I do EXACTLY this! Omg I thought I was going insane!

[@Impala-ui8nl]

i just realized that I'm not alone in this and it's incredibly relieving...like I really thought I was weird on a whole other level

[@vanb8675]

Me too.. for 27 years i thought i am weird and that noone's gonna understand this feeling of mine. I even thought this as my weirdest/darkest secret but heyy i'm not alone! Such a relief that i am human afterall

[@ruthabera1159]

THANK you I love you more than you know❤️❤️❤️ I’ve been strugglingg with this for the past decade and I feel like it’s robbed me off life

[@robbiesmith8055]

My daydreaming almost always involves pop culture. If I'm into a story (usually tv or book series), then I will craft a narrative that will allow me to logically fit into the story and be friends with all the main characters. The amount of time I spent devoted to these daydreams often depends on how long my fixation lasts.

[@katelynjacobi1289]

I do this too! It's always taking place in a separate narrative, almost like I'm a character in a fanfiction.

[@poppycatscratch8630]

I have done this ever since I was really little. Spending fifty percent or more of my waking time in my own little wonderland. The fact that these dreams are so important to me should probably be concerning but at this point I couldn't care less. No one I've talked to seems to understand but at least now I know I'm not the only person on the planet like this.

[@robbiesmith8055]

@@katelynjacobi1289 I always describe my day dreams as fanfiction that I don't write down, so I know how you feel

[@robbiesmith8055]

@@wildflower2016 Does he ever verbalise his 'dialogue' when he thinks he's alone? I'm terribly guilty of that

[@laklomp]

OMG, this is literally me since covid. So normally I always made my own storylines and everything. But since covid, I watched even more tv shows than normal and instead of creating one, I put my self-para (myself character) in the story as a main character. I don't use friends or family tho (I often delete friends in my mind and family is often dead in my paracosms or non-existent, since it kind of messes with my "plan"). So now, every tv show I watch Grey's Anatomy, Hearland, Supernatural, I'm like: Now I wanna make myself in it or a spin-off of it :)

[@increduleingrate83]

I started daydreaming at around 11/12 years old. I was a very insecure person with low self esteem and found myself creating this paracosm where I was different. I would daydream about being independent, courageous, being extremely intelligent to the point of amazing everyone, and being pretty. This maladaptive daydream has carried on from my teen years until now and it has gotten a lot more delusional (I am 21 btw). I spend my 90% of my days fantasizing anything; romance, being a singer, being a genius, … damn I could write a lot of fiction books about the different characters I have portrayed in my imagination. Personally, I think my depression and social anxiety have further worsened my condition when it comes to daydreaming. Daydreaming has become one of the things keeping from committing suicide. In reality, I am a shitty person and a good-for-nothing and daydreaming just helps me distract my attention from these facts

[@mocro15A]

I feel you.. The most challenging part of getting out of the state of maladaptive daydreaming is the fact that my daydreams are closely related to reality and partly realistic. The daydreaming is usually about myself earning recognition, respect and especially proving the rest of the world the opposite of what I have to offer. Partly i used daydreaming as an escape of the dull reality and a way to cope with my traumas. It has gone to the point where I've neglected my life to a great extent. I think we should use this capacity for creative purposes.Through photography/videography and storytelling

[@mocro15A]

I started daydreaming at a very young age as a way to cope with stress, but also creating an ideal and glamourized version of myself.

[@tatianac323]

Omg that sounds almost 100% like me. I always daydreamed of being a singer, extrovert, tons of friends, popular, and especially about being in romantic relationships. Pretty much all the things that I always wanted but never really had since I have BAD social anxiety. I'm 25 now and I've slowed down a bit but I've never had a boyfriend so I always picture myself in a relationship to help me sleep and I've been doing that since 11 or 12 years old too!

[@MarcosLoweVideos]

You are not a shitty person nor are you good for nothing. You're valuable and priceless! We need you around!

[@pragyaraghuvanshi3172]

That's totally me you described

[@billyjoesmo8251]

Daydreaming is a vacation from chaos

[@jos.8655]

Absolutely!

[@FlamingSwordful]

Yeah! As gaming addiction, cigarettes, alcohol, xanax or even heroin.. Same purpose.

[@rubies200]

@@FlamingSwordful I thought so--but then, none of those things lead to building creativity. "Maladaptive Dreaming", so-called, is simply a well of unexpressed talent.

[@billyjoesmo8251]

Daydreaming worked to my benefit I'm a professional Entertainer have been for the last 30 years

[@delgryphon6633]

@@billyjoesmo8251 they are talking about maladaptive daydreaming. If you remember in the video it states that there's a healthy/normal level of daydreaming any person can have.

[@Nooooooooooooooooooooo7913]

This was literally how I got through middle school and high school lol even a bit of college. I literally would dream of relationships/romance while never actually dating. It was my escape from all the loneliness I was going through. I’m glad now as an adult I’m more invested in the real world and have actually found a real life partner. It’s so interesting that this is a real thing people do though.

[@spheres0082]

Yep, same here. It helped me escape through high school and college when it was all too much. Glad there’s actually a term for it. And I’m glad to find that other people do it as well.

[@JoyfullyShea-Marcella]

Omg I did the same thing! Unfortunately this type of daydreaming kind of did a bit of harm to me in school. I didn’t do well all the time because I was always in my head daydreaming for hours. I honestly thought for a long time that I had ADHD or something, but I think this might be the answer to that burning question I’ve been asking for a few years now

[@derpface9624]

@@JoyfullyShea-Marcella same here but during the pandemic its been getting worse. My cousin amd i have been meaning to move out and rent together. And to myself i legitimately thought that it was fine bc i already planned to with another group of ppl who were characters in my compulsive daydreaming. I stopped myself and realized i rlly thought for a second i was moving in with characters i made up. I left to cousins house bc i had to get out of mjne.

[@o.b.c.6377]

That's literally what im still doing now

[@yuriishiharaa]

I'm still currently going through the daydreaming about it part but this took the words out of my mouth

[@deedee0619]

I spent YEARS doing this. I had characters, their personalities and complex storylines. I'd think of a scene then "rewind" if I didn't like a scenario... it stopped around my mid twenties.

[@calaglinn5570]

Do you have any tips on how to stop it?

[@shrey549]

That's exactly what I do rewinding till its perfect

[@katherinebourdiline7521]

I still currently do this. As long as it doesn't interfere with anything else, is it necessarily a bad thing? I've thought about using it as a skill to start writing. I'd just need to learn how to sit down, type it out and stop fantasizing about it, lol.

[@jadakiss9099]

@@katherinebourdiline7521 I thought about that. I've done this since I was 8 and I'm 21 now but I don't think it's an issue, it's about me and how I want my life to be and I aim for that and if it changes then so be it. Is that negative if it's not interfering with my reality? Im an actress so it's actually helped me in my craft so I don't think it's negative at all but watching these videos it makes me feel like people feel it's an issue

[@doraanderson7403]

Yes! I do this too!! The world, characters, plots... etc... And then rewinding back to redo a scene if I didn't like how it played out.

[@shahana_style]

I just call this my #1 coping mechanism. Like when my anxiety levels are super high. It's calming. So i don't know if it's something I actually want to stop doing. Lexapro isn't enough.

[@andersondawn3631]

I helped me get through my shitty high school years. I would daydream and use it in writing.

[@akriandurin151]

Same. I use it as a coping mechanism, have for as long as I can remember - though I haven't been able to find any meds that work for me without unmanageable side effects. I don't remove myself at random times to do it - reserved for when I have free time, or when I fall asleep. I usually pace or walk when I am not doing it before sleep to get some physical activity from it. If I didn't have this I would truly be miserable.

[@JSinuYasha]

@@akriandurin151 Same.

[@mihaicrisan9946]

I do that all the time time and you are right that is a coping mechanism but in my opinion I could work and concentrate on something that would get me closer to a dream life.

[@Daisika]

@@akriandurin151 Same. Without it, my life would be ten times shittier than it already is.

In my daydreaming, I become the person I will never be, do things I will never do, own things I will never have. Not because I can't do or own these things, but because they are outrageously impossible. I entertain myself with these crazy dreams, and it's a very effective way of running away from reality. Sad, I know

[@melinamartins4419]

I feel something very similar :/ Hope u are doing well o/

[@kayla3972]

I do the same thing. You're definitely not alone.

[@jennecorpuz5577]

Same

[@Nikkiole84]

Dam facts

[@Anthony-tw3oi]

Relatable

[@lavi_t]

For me I create entirely new characters. Decide their features, looks personality and have a whole new fantasy world for them. I have one main character or ‘protagonist’ which I think represents everything I idolise and want to be.

[@zenta2454]

I created my own world and have so many people in them. I need to write a book and could make a movie about them. Then other times I don’t want to share them with others. Only a few know.

[@nyaziasajdah-bey8115]

meeeeee. she's like the perfect version of myself kinda. But I don't think about her as "me" if that makes sense. Like she's her own person in my head with an entire different name, personality and friends, but she's everything I would want to be.

[@shanemorris3554]

My characters are all either aspects of me or aspects I admire in others

[@Zoeシ-e2w]

I do the same thinggg I don’t think I have maladaptive daydreaming though

[@noo361]

omg!! same! i never insert myself directly but through main characters that, like you said, represent traits that i idolise and want to be!

[@francessealexis160]

I literally spend my whole day daydreaming and talking to myself. This started around 11. I don't really do it around people because they would think I'm crazy. But when I'm alone anywhere I just start having conversations with imaginary people. It's very time consuming, but it makes me feel good about myself. I have another life with other parents, friends, and people, in other places. Music is the main trigger for me, but I can still do it without it. I didn't know there was a term for it, now I don't feel alone.

[@gray_rain]

You say you start having conversations with imaginary people. I'm not a maladaptive daydreamer, but I do daydream a lot. One thing I run into all the time is getting hung up on details that don't come to me intuitively. Like how would the person I'm imagining *actually* respond to what I just said. Or what does the floor actually look like? etc. etc. Sometimes it interrupts the daydream and prevents the story from continuing. Any ideas for how I could more easily move past these details?

[@francessealexis160]

@@gray_rain When I have conversations, I tend to play all the characters at once.

[@salenamarie9562]

@@francessealexis160 I do the same thing! You’re not alone! I’ve done this since I was a kid.. and actually I love it haha.. but like you’ve said.. We don’t do it around other people because they’ll think we are crazy. I just think we have a great imagination 😆 but I do this when I am alone.

[@samaabood1730]

I am the same and it helps me to cop with my life drama caused by others in my reality

[@AngelicDiva1988]

Omg I thought I was the only one. I was really bad when I was younger. I had a whole other life. I had two sons, multiple boyfriends and other family and friends. I forced myself to stop because I thought I was going crazy and mental health runs through my family. I was so ashamed of myself.

[@tanstrongdubya]

As a sexually abused and bullied kid, I would use daydreaming as a way to escape the world around me. Now that I’m older, it has taken over my life. I can’t get out of bed because of it. Sometimes I use my shirt to cover my mouth so my family won’t see me act out my daydreams. It is relentless.

[@nekoeko500]

Damn! I find myself trying to write something meaningful or helpful and failing. This is like the tenth attempt. You're not alone. You're not the only one. You're valuable. I know nothing about you, true, but I know people who have gone through that kind of stuff and in every broken person I've met there's always a surge of brillance only they have trouble seeing. As a daydreamer myself I know that part of what you're going through, I wish I could offer advice but unfortunately I'm not clever enough. I just hope you do well and have a great life because you goddamn deserve it

[@littlepawML]

My adoptive mom is a malignant narcissist. And i had no peace or happiness in my life except in my fantasies and day dreams.

[@azelandthedragons1190]

I especially love long car rides because it’s the perfect level of passive attention that allows me to completely submerse myself with some music and the passing landscape. Something about the monotony with the constant motion is better than just walking or pacing around my room. I’m working on writing out my main daydream at the moment.

[@ferretunicorn838]

That’s me too, I love car rides for that reason.

[@efoxkitsune9493]

I relate to this so damn much

[@cashmereclown8512]

this is me, but with walking

[@gretch23yearsago74]

Sameeee, I love long car rides because its the perfect excuse, something I don't have to pay full attention to. every day I spend about an hour or two pacing back and fourth in my room, daydreaming about my favorite characters, it gets in the way of my work sometimes

[@gretch23yearsago74]

@@Courtney-vx3bw oh lol sorry I meant just riding in the car, not driving. I'm still learning how to drive, but paying attention is still a problem for me, that's why I don't trust myself on the road just yet, even tho I technically have a permit

[@soupman5836]

maladaptive daydreaming is just writing fanfiction about myself in different realities tbh... regardless, I'm doing a research about the psychology behind escapism and this is really helpful!!

[@ashleyjlucio96]

I daydream exactly like that. It can be a realistic day dream about myself or a completely fantasy daydream. I used to do this every night in order to help me fall asleep because it would coax my mind into falling asleep and turn that daydream into an actual dream even though my dream would change. I still do this but not every night due to being tired and actually falling asleep. I have a very active mind and it's hard for me to quiet it down to go to sleep. I also daydream to help me go to sleep so I don't think of all of the alternative things that could have happened if I chose differently that day and not think about my worries.

[@greetingsfromnarnia5016]

I have never related to a comment this hard before

[@reishad598]

This 100%. I'm literally so stuck on some of the dialogue I've created in my world and just love how it sounds and write it down to maybe capture it in other writings.

[@bread-kp5mg]

ive never related to a comment more- i keep going over one part of the same daydream forever until it’s perfectly how i want it, like writing a fanfiction. it sounds so weird explaining it but makes perfect sense!

[@sai-ze3xy]

this exactly describes my experience in maladaptive daydreaming lmfao

[@laianepeixoto698]

For me, Maladaptive Daydreaming is more like a book without an end. I choose when to ready, and usually, it is during my free time, or I bored. It never interferes more than any other hobby, like playing games or actually reading a book. I have friends, and I can concentrate on order stuff just fine. Although I admit that sometimes I choose Maladaptive Daydreaming often than other stuff, I will generally spend a lot of time in it. I don't have any trauma or use as a coping mechanism. Actually, when I'm anxious, I do it, to make me feel better, but usually when I have time. It helps me a lot.

[@elenanojkovic2554]

Pretty much the same thing. Except, I do occasionally use it when I'm highly distressed and I have to finish something important. Let's say I just had a right with my grandma, I'm crying but I have to finish reading up a chapter for a class. I might pretend I'm a character to start it and then I stop pretending and keep doing it. I do this less often now then before, and usually it just stays in the 'book without end' type of thing. But if I'm busy doing things I like, even if they are not considered the most fun, I don't feel the need to since my mind is already busy. For example, i volunteered in COVID department for three and a half months and while I was doing my shifts, which were 12 hours, I barely ever even thought about it.

[@laianepeixoto698]

@@elenanojkovic2554 I remember that when I was younger I thought about using a character to start doing something productive, like studying. But i lack determination 😅 I got what you mean, the desire to grab the "book" is only when I'm not doing anything. I understand that some people might have difficulties balancing out tough. Is indeed very tempting to just put aside other stuff in your life if you do not recognise that you need balance.

[@hxkouu]

I relate to this!

[@taradreams3]

Same for me, although I have struggled with depression off and on. I do it mostly when I'm working out, or when I'm cleaning or doing something else that doesn't require a lot of brainpower. I agree that it's like a hobby. I've never had it interfere with work or my relationships. I think there's probably a spectrum to it.

[@Eeben93]

Daydreaming to deal with anxiety sounds like a coping mechanism.

[@nyam635]

A real problem is losing control/ loss of control when you want to "rein in" your thoughts. I always used to daydream and daydream and daydream throughout work, during car rides, or just sitting around until I found it harder and harder to focus (and maintain focus) in my present. Add that with disturbing intrusive thoughts and I was having long headaches and crying because I couldn't. Stop. Thinking. Daydreaming is fun and engaging with characters is enjoyable but tbh it's good most people don't have this because there's something terrifying in being trapped in your own head and losing the ability to shut it up and engage in the present again. Practicing control is important y'all, and remember that though daydreaming can be fun, maladaptive is a slippery slope and you don't wanna see yourself heading to the bottom with a mind you can't control. Even now I struggle to focus and my attention span is abysmal.

[@mocro15A]

The most challenging part of getting out of the state of maladaptive daydreaming is the fact that my daydreams are closely related to reality and partly realistic. The daydreaming is usually about myself earning recognition, respect and especially proving the rest of the world the opposite of what I have to offer. Partly i used daydreaming as an escape of the dull reality and a way to cope with my traumas. It has gone to the point where I've neglected my life to a great extent. I think we should use this capacity for creative purposes.Through photography/videography and storytelling

[@oamendez00]

Wow this is exactly what I needed to see, thank you

[@erinmeyers-t9w]

yeah this happened to me i could never get my brain to be quiet and was constantly in a daydream state

[@farwajaved6814]

Yes i need the solution too..i wana abondon it but I can't

[@wxlfgang9950]

There is definitely a dark side to daydreaming it makes switching between dreaming and reality weird things seem to feel less and less "normal" or connect for lack of a better word

[@angelialeah8780]

It’s a coping mechanism you create to relieve yourself from traumatic experience. Giving yourself a different life than what you’ve experienced.

[@49ersfoldem]

I wonder how long it lasts because I've been that way my whole life. I enjoy it tho

[@angelialeah8780]

@@49ersfoldem It takes work, much like someone who uses other coping strategies.

[@missmarthafawker]

It’s also a way to work out self abuse. It’s so unsafe. People call it shifting now and they don’t understand that this is not ok. They think their going to a different dimension and don’t understand that it’s not.

[@ingredi8409]

I don't think it's just about coping with trauma. You can have no trauma and still do It....

[@ingredi8409]

It started very inocent with me. I was like nine, my life was great lol But then I got addicted, and sure, it became a coping mechanism for stress, uncomfortable feelings, lack of happiness.....

[@michellecnebrown6792]

I do this purposefully, I use music to keep it going, I started doing it as a small child. I was not socialized properly as a child and I was alone a lot. I lost both my parents early. I am an awkward person and I don't have friends and I have social anxiety very bad. So I can do it for many many hours and at least it's somewhere where I am who I wish I was. Better than suicide.

[@moved4567]

Same. Im sorry that you've had to go through such traumatic things since you were only a little child that should've been safe and loved. You didn't deserved that. No one does. And I hope that it gets easier for you. Keep on fighting. You got this!

[@aylacas9766]

i do too. I'll do it all day. It's worse when i'm all alone.

[@chelseymichelle9115]

wow, so brave of you to be so honest with this

[@RileyAzzadina8864]

I can relate so much to this, I didn't lose my parents though but I've never been good at socializing and talking so I've only ever had a few friends, but I would never hang out with them outside of school so I would be by myself a lot. Honestly I think I started mine purposefully not due to trauma but from the rush of energy and excitement I would get from my ideas. My whole family knows that I do it because I literally run around and prance when I daydream. Everyone can hear me. But since I've done it from like 4th grade to now (high school senior year) I literally have like no friends and not really any crazy high school experiences because of it and other reasons.

[@thatsdope9571]

The last sentence really hits deep. Hope you're doing ok

[@DoctorandtheDoll]

I honestly thought everyone on Earth did this. Only recently heard the term and I'm pretty stunned. I never would've thought of it as a coping mechanism for my anxiety, but I guess it makes sense... It is extremely addicting.

[@pebble8978]

OMG same!

[@jules7125]

Same here!! I do this often and have done it for years, and it normally happens when I get easily overwhelmed with things in life. I can't sit in one place for two long, gotta escape into a song or something. It's definitely a coping mechanism

[@catherinepoteat]

Yep. I use it to escape the stress or when the stress gets to me and my anxiety just pulls me on a trip. My anxiety in particular likes to rewatch my past and see what I would do differently, or play out every possible future. It sucks because so much of it is negative.

[@Sora-bo5qv]

Yeah also satisfying

[@bibianka1412]

Same I’ve done this for as long as I can remember. It really is addicting

[@AmyNoelleReads]

Wow, Im in my late 30's and have been doing this practically my whole life. I listen to music, rock back and forth and daydream. I never realized there was an actual medical name for what I do! I started when I was very very young, around 5ish, and it has never gone away. It has increased and decreased at different points in my life but its always been a daily practice. I don't know how or why this video showed up among my suggested but I'm glad it did! This was really interesting. I don't see this as a problem currently, and its not something Im interested in getting rid of tbh, its just nice to know I'm not alone.

[@cosmospray]

I can relate ! 38yo and as far as i find myself alone it's my imaginative world where I speak to whohever I want whenever I am bored... I though it was just me being a little too imaginative, used to be alone because I am an only child... But I am now very troubled to find out this isn't actually normal... I just can't function in another way as far as i am concerned. I just closed my phone and find myself starting to speak alone again lol

[@cosmospray]

@@Mondoshawn you are so right! That's exactly how it is... thank you 🙏🏻

[@NHarts3]

@@Mondoshawn you're right about that. I have lately used this more and more as entertainment rather than tv or games. But like everything it can become problematic when it interferes with your life. I dont normally have that issue and have used it as a creative tool, but sometimes when the Big Sad gets me I use it as a coping mechanism which is very consuming. So yeah, positives and negatives I guess.

[@beccadotelpy]

Same! Didn't know there was a name for it.

[@MichaelrAngora]

Oh my God! Me too! I've been doing it forever. I'm 33 and really stressed

[@Yawnty]

I'll be honest. The idea of trying to train myself or put myself through therapy to stop my maladaptive daydreaming is stressful and upsetting. I find so much comfort in being able to sit and escape reality whenever I feel overwhelmed and tired of what's happening, and nothing else has ever helped to quickly soothe my anxiety and stress. Even the conscious, more 'healthy' coping mechanisms I do practice feel exhausting to perform, whether they're habit now or not, and do not provide the same kind of long term relief imo. I always saw it as a self soothing behavior in myself. The same way fussing with hairties, the hem of my shirt, biting my nails, or bouncing my leg are self soothing. So much of reality right now is out of our control as the general population. I see the news and feel angry and stressed, and though I do what I can in my community, nothing ever feels enough. In a reality where someone COULD be the best version of themselves, and still die, suffer, be wrongfully convicted, attacked, etc. for no valid reason at all, it's exhausting to commit to it. It's relieving to pretend, just for a little while, like you are someone else, somewhere else, in a place you can control. For me personally, I would feel very robbed and anxious trying to train myself not to do it, of like one of the very few things that gets me to go the hell to sleep at night.

[@butasimpleidiotwizard]

I never targeted I through therapy but therapy still decreased the amount of time I spent doing it, not by ever stopping me from doing it but simply by decreasing the frequency with which I felt overwhelmed or tired or lonely or bored, thereby reducing the things that made me need to daydream in the first place

[@Yawnty]

@@butasimpleidiotwizard this is how it’s been for me too! I definitely can acknowledge that after like 6 years of therapy, I do it way less now than I did as a child still in my toxic environment. Instead I just plan for times to decompress and daydream after long days or difficult situations.

[@Elpaisdelosguapipos]

That's interesting... I've been trying to reduce my daydreaming after doing it for more than a decade. Like everyone I felt so much comfort and pleasure being in my head but then I realized that I was stuck even in my own daydreams. It's weird to explain but I would purposely stay home just to daydream, cancel on every dates etc but then I would daydream of the same scenario over and over again. It's like it no longer brought me that much happiness but it was still taking so much of my time

[@Yawnty]

@@Elpaisdelosguapipos I definitely understand that, even if I don’t think I had the exact experience. My childhood, where I experienced the most severe of my daydreaming, I was unable to even have opportunities to visit others or try new things because repeated trauma ‘taught’ me it was unsafe, so I just stopped trying and opted for daydreaming, art, and isolation. Being older now, I definitely have to overcome the urge to stay home and ‘create’ (daydream lmao) to maintain friendships and general mental health, but I still value and find comfort in the time I do spend doing it. I think, personally, like many other coping mechanisms or soothing behaviors, it’s something that can be worked into a routine instead of feared. I can feel safe going out with friends and doing errands and such because I know I will get to go home and decompress and daydream or do art. I guess it all depends on the kind of person you hope to be through therapy or personal growth.

[@hyperfox0934]

@@Elpaisdelosguapipos I definitely feel you there, freind! For me, targeting the sorce of the problem really helps. So for me, I have ADHD, and I was using my dreams to keep my dopamine levels high enough for functioning or just,, not slipping into depression, so once I was medicated, I stopped dreaming almost automatically. There's plenty of ways to find out what the root is if you don't know, btw. Look up DBT exercises- apparently all my tricks are really similar to or exactly what they teach you to do, haha!

[@marygraham1709]

I find that many creative people use this technique. Maladaptive daydreaming is the construction of stories and mythologies. It’s raw, unadulterated creativity.

[@butasimpleidiotwizard]

Which would be great if you could ever stop for long enough to get it out of your head

[@hyperfox0934]

Hahaha it really is! I eventually found a way to harness it recently, and slip into a dream that focuses on my work or what I'm doing at school. ...it's a lot harder to hold onto, and half the time it ends up slipping away from me into fantasy, but it works. ...I also have medication for the sorce of my dreams though, so it's significantly easier for me to moderate them, haha

[@hyperfox0934]

@@sophiependragon2467 only in some people! For many of us it's something else entirely, like she mentioned in the video.

[@AmberyTear]

With this thing constantly attacking your thoughts, you don't have time and mental capacity for ever creating anything. You're just held hostage by your brain 24/7.

[@starr2shine738]

CORRECT! Also why most if not all creatives have a playlist for their project as well, to help in this process. ^^

[@jolimarie6744]

I’ve never related to a comment section so much in my life. I literally was hiding in the bathroom (bc I share a room) with music blasting in my ear buds, acting out the scenarios in the mirror, even though I was in the middle of preparing to study for my test tmrw and knew that if I wanted to sleep early, I needed to study. It’s so bad how the day dreams get in the way of me doing my hw and study clean my room or like… anything

[@s_beetlebum_s]

Not the hiding in the bathroom with music blasting in my earbuds... i feel exposed

[@bluepotato4564]

Bruh same like everytime I need to do a task I just start maladaptive daydreaming for hours and moving and voicing out the scenario like I love to do it but at the same time it's really troublesome when you have responsibilities

[@gretch23yearsago74]

Yea I don't get enough sleep because I spend hours before bed pacing around my room dreaming that I usually don't get to sleep until past midnight

[@tanu8662]

this me right now.

[@politaart6619]

I also share a room, hide in the bathroom and act out my daydreaming on the mirror wth are we twins?

[@pettypsghetti]

as a writer, I never want this skill to be taken away from me. the complex narratives and the ability to hold multiple storylines in my head is a superpower. plus, on the bad days, it gives me something to do for hours! sounds like jazz to me!

[@jeym7207]

If it doesn’t affect you negatively, it’s not the disorder analyzed in the video. Then it’s just called daydreaming, without the maladaptive part. I suppose most writers of the world have this positive superskill! Also, a message to aspiring writers/creators with MADD reading this: healing out of MADD won’t deprive you of the positive, creative aspects of daydreaming that we hold so dear to our hearts. As a person who has just healed from MADD after 2,5 years of taking SSRIs (4 different kinds of psychotherapy didn’t help in my case, it was that severe), I can assure you that you never lose the skill. You are just finally able to control it. I can finally tell myself to stop after 1-2 hours of relaxational daydreaming and go back to my productive work. No more dissociation for 7-8 hours a day straight. What’s more: once you heal your MADD (with meds/psychotherapy/both), you will finally have the mental capacity to actually sit down and WRITE the creative stories which to that point you had been only daydreaming about. Your brain will simply start working like the brain of a mentally healthy person. Trust me, you won’t regret your new life. And you’ll never lose the skill of daydreaming. You will be finally making the rules concerning how much time YOU want to spend mastering your stories in your head - not your brain.

[@SonicLion2]

@@jeym7207 Thank you for the words

[@Spudst3r]

I always suspected every great writer and filmmaker does this to invent compelling scenes and set pieces.

[@liz-oi9dp]

Being a young author, I lowkey relate to this

[@fernthaisetthawatkul5569]

i spend so much time daydreaming about how the story will turn out, that i spend far LESS time actually writing the story and polishing it up. once i actually get to work writing the story, it ceases to be enjoyable and becomes a hard, burdensome task!

[@chaotic_goose6853]

Does anyone else get really angry when you can’t daydream or your daydreams get really violent and/or scary? Or if you don’t like a “scene” you redo it until it feels right?

[@bohemianraspberries3418]

Yes! or when you replay a scene until it's perfect

[@XxCupcakeHoarderxX]

@@bohemianraspberries3418 this

[@kyleiwalker3603]

yes, sometimes i will be stuck reworking the same scene forever

[@systemend1580]

Omg, yes. We redo scenes over and over again so they're just perfect.

[@Nickys_Corner]

I redo scenes that I either like don’t think it feels right. It’s kinda weird, but comforting. Like rewriting parts of a story because it sounded weird, and then rereading the improved version

[@lindzs7619]

Before I knew this was a thing I just assumed that everyone has a huge detailed inner universe that they custom create for themselves and I was curious about the secret inner worlds of other people. Finding out that most people don't have one felt weird and sad, like I'm super lucky to have this rare gift of being able to create my own reality, while most people are just stuck in the greater shared one that sucks.

[@whimsylore]

That was my experience too. When I found out most people don't contain whole worlds, stories, characters I felt shocked then sad and bereft for them... then realized that they self-soothe by gossip or imagining-reimaging their perceived current world thru complaining. I think we're all creators on some level. It's a gift to be recognized, pointed out, and then to look at the effects\consequences and see if we find them acceptable.

[@NicholsKT]

Wow. I didn’t realize until reading these comments and, of course, watching the video that most people don’t do this. What!!! So, is that why my aunt is always calling me and telling me she’s bored. I can never relate. I rarely, rarely get bored. There are multiple alternate worlds I can escape to whenever life around me isn’t engaging. This is crazy. How the hell do other people cope all their lives without being able to do this?

[@kerusan7352]

yoooo this is literally me;; when i ran into a random video about maladaptive daydreaming (psych2go) I was genuinely confused and thought everyone did it ;-; Hmm.. guess we're all finding ways to cope during this pandemic, huh?

[@pvp6077]

Literally I am just finding out now that this is not how everyone lives, I just thought other ppls worlds were more boring than mine. Like I'm dreaming Game of Thrones and Leverage, and they're dreaming Maury Povich and Real Housewives. Like is this not just how writers and artists do things? I write songs based on the fantasy scenarios in my head, imagine whole worlds before I try to write stories in them, and rewrite the stories dozens of times before i even think about writing them down. I choreograph dances, stage performances, and music videos in my head when I listen to music, design costumes for imaginary plays or fashion shows, and make plans for a zombie apocalypse. Like ... Is that wrong? I absolutely will *not* consider training myself outta that. Like yeah it can be stressful when I have to go do things when I'd rather stay where I'm at and think about stuff, but frankly my brain is better company than most of my social circle so if I gotta choose ... I choose me. Work is a different issue but if I can eventually monetize my maladaptive daydreaming like other successful writers and artists then its not a condition, its being ~Creative~🌸✨🌈

[@TheBigChubbyBunny]

I know what you mean. I spend so much time in my created worlds with my many characters and their story lines that it is hard to imagine that others don't also do this

[@atmo85]

I am 35 and have done this since I was about 7-8. I hate that I do it, but it's enjoyable in the moment. My daydreams always involve an idealized version of myself (usually as an actress, singer, or someone super successful). Oftentimes I will act out scenes from my favorite media (movies, shows, video games, etc). Music is a trigger for me, but so is any other type of media. It sucks because I love stories and used to want to be an actress, but in real life I am awkward and anxious.

[@brendacastillo8146]

My God! You are me. This has ruined my life, I never thought it was a thing, I never speak about this, I am too embarrassed to even mention it to a person , they would think I am crazy, a grow. Woman doing that, but is exactly like you say , is my alter ego, a super glamorous star, with a successful career and love life, the hottest man. I even imagine fights and getting back together, lol. Thing is real life is boring in comparison that is why it hurts me, I have done it since I was a teen, is true , is a coping mechanism for a bad childhood , in periods of my life when I have been in love , the fantasies become less And less, to even none for long periods of time, loneliness triggers mine, this is like a drug and it ruins lives.

[@jordanj8431]

Atiya you are not alone. I started daydreaming around the same age. I use music and imagine myself in different worlds. Often the ones in my favorite books or movies. Daydreaming about being friends with the avengers or being a famous rock star. I am 28 so we have been doing this for a long time. It is nice to know that there are other people out there and you aren't alone. It has been my secret that I have hide from others for so long because I was terrified people would call me crazy

[@LaCréé.e]

@@brendacastillo8146 Woow girl are you me?? This WHOLE entire comment is what I do lol especially the hot man! I'm just like you I've never told that to anyone because of how embarassing it is! Sometimes I would even get very annoyed when someone in real life talk to me and interfere with the dreaming. I'm very encouraged to see that I'm not alone in the struggle tho. I'll start seeing a therapist soon because I've been doing this since forever, literally a kid in middle school and it's time for it to be dealt with xD

[@brendacastillo8146]

@@LaCréé.e great to know I am not alone, is incredible to me to find out a lot of people go through this, I hope therapy helps you, the amounts of famous actors I have mentally dated is hilarious, some of them aren't even alive , I go from black and white times, to now.

[@LaCréé.e]

@@brendacastillo8146 Same I'm laughing of relief while reading this comment section because one of the reason why I've never talked about it is because somehow I thought I was the only one or a very rare case experiencing this. Glad to know I'm not a never seen before type of ""crazy"" lol. I hope it helps me as well and that you find a way to deal with it too. It's insane how addictive and out of control it can get.

[@daidai2975]

I've never related to someone as much as I did now with everyone that commented. Mine started around 11-12, which is around the time I was bullied and didnt have good emotional support at home from my family. I'm now 20 and my life is so much better now, but yet I'm still stuck in this habit. I imagine myself as this flawless,confident, smart, and talented person that everyone likes. When I ask myself why I started to see myself as this alternate person, the only answer that comes to mind is that if I were like that second me in reality, maybe others would finally like and accept me. It's a very big problem for me because it causes me to procrastinate and waste time. My triggers are music & boredom Any tips on how to stop anyone? Also this is what I usually daydream about: -Being in some random anime universe and being the strongest protagonist 😎 -Creating these random characters in stories with some actual good plots 🤔 -Being in shape, pretty, popular, and pulling all the guys 💅 -Living the best life with my crush...and doing some other stuff with them😳 -Being a famous singer( I cannot sing for shit in irl😂) -Being rich & providing and enjoying life with my family and friends -And lastly random sad situations that actually make me cry sometimes. For ex: someone I love or myself dying 😭

[@gloriawaritimi5286]

Oh my gosh!!!! This is exactly me, other than the anime. Some weeks back, I was telling my friend how I was becoming addicted to daydreaming

[@daidai2975]

@@gloriawaritimi5286 I haven't told anyone yet, I never even understood why I did it so often and became addicted. Kinda shy to speak to someone about it, I feel like they wouldn't understand. But I finally found others who go through the same thing on this video:) i feel less alone.

[@Alpha-nc6ie]

I'm a famous singer, actor and dancer in my universe. A fucking triple threat 😂

[@ablankspace8113]

I NEVER RELATED SO MUCH TO SOME WTF

[@arsenaladdicts.7283]

All those happen to Me plus Talking to myself sometimes, though the only thing is that me I don't Cry for sure but the thing disturbs me mentally and on a daily basis, I've reached in a Period of life where I can't even remember what I read man, it's soo hurting seeing myself stupid and a mediocre now yet I was the Cleverest in the class😭😭

[@nanamikado999]

That's me in a nutshell. But there's NO WAY I'm willing to stop this. I love doing this so much

[@Hakajin]

I mean, if it's not interfering with your life, I don't think it's maladaptive. As long as you're not sacrificing friendships and stuff for it, I think it's fine. It works for me.

[@claireierullo5948]

Yes! For me I can only describe the idea of losing it like losing a piece of myself and the world dulling. Me creating my own fantasies, thinking up my own ideas, creating a world and creatures and characters, experiencing it all in my mind like a movie, using things around me... nothing can really replicate it

[@lestranged]

Yes, same. I don't see a reason to stop. I've been doing it for 50 years. It's interesting learning the name for it and that other people do it too, but compared to a lot of other coping mechanisms or addictions, it seems pretty harmless for my real life. As a kid, I used to never understand when people say they are bored because I never got bored. I can always turn on a fully imagined multi-season tv series in my head to entertain myself on a long flight or whatever. Like why would I want to give that up and then just live with a blank empty head? It would be like losing one of your senses. Going blind on purpose. I also just learned in the last few years that some people don't have ANY internal monologue... I had always assumed that internal monologue was normal and universal, but my version was just a more extreme or detailed version of that. I can't imagine existing with no internal monologue, but I suppose the people that never had one can't even imagine what it is or what it feels like. I feel like the negative label "Maladaptive" is kind of the usual neurotypical habit of making anything different a "disorder". If it was average for people to only see in black and white and then some small percentage of people could see colors, the average people would call that a disorder or a delusion. For the color-vision minority, switching to a grey concrete world after living a lifetime in full color would be a disorder.

[@farzaneh163]

Oh my gawd thank you and sameeeee I was reading the comments and everyone seemed like they really wanted to change it, but when the doctor talked about how to not do it It felt like I would die inside if I ever stopped... like yeah it does interfere in my daily life from time to time, but it also helps alot of the times and it's so pleasant. I live the things that no one will ever be able to, in my fantasies and sometimes it's better than the sci-fi movies and stuff. I just don't understand why anyone would ever want to stop doing it... the world is a disgusting thing full of ugliness and limitations but then you can scape into your utopia where everything is the way you want it to be...

[@lestranged]

@@farzaneh163 As long as we know the difference between the daydream and real life, I don't see the problem. It's pretty easy to tell them apart: If it's painful and disappointing and innocent people suffer while bad people are rewarded, then it's real life. If it all ends happily , then it's a daydream. Easy peasy. I have a lot of sci fi in mine too.

[@Mayaotsu]

I pass hours of my day running around my house when I listening to music, I have conversations friends even family that only exists in my head.

[@zyragr]

same i act out a scenario in my head like answering questions of my friends and family that i am fully aware that it's not true but i just do it and pretend like i am popular, intelligent, has a lot of hobbies and a confident woman when in fact, in reality i am far from that. I just act it out and pretend to have some conversations with them so that i would feel powerful and confident even just a little bit

[@sevin6060]

@@zyragr EXACTLY

[@anastasiadicoski9591]

@@zyragr bro same. I also feel the emotions I would in the dream. Start crying, feel an adrenaline rush, it's like taking drugs.

[@annipsy2185]

@@anastasiadicoski9591 sometimes im like....if this happened in real life i wouldnt even cry but when im imagining it, im even more in touch with my emotions

[@jijisflowerpot5689]

OH MY GOD FINALLY SOMEONE WHO DOES SOMETHING SIMILAR WHILE DAYDREAMING. I pretty much do the exact same thing apart from listening to music while doing it

[@l.a.catron452]

I know I'm a bit late to be commenting but just wanted to share: Writers and other creative types deliberately use daydreaming to craft their works. In my writing degree, we were taught to use it as a tool. As long as you are in control of when and where it happens and you responsibly budget time for it in a way that does not isolate you or replace real relationships, there is nothing wrong with enjoying purposeful daydreaming.

[@ladyredl3210]

As a writer, I was looking for this comment.

[@l.a.catron452]

@@ladyredl3210 You’re welcome 😉

[@MsCurufinwe]

Yes! Exactly! As a child, I was often isolated so I began to use it then. And as a teen I started writing down the stories I played out, and as an adult I'm turning them into a full fledged series! I still have a life outside of it, so it's not doing any harm. In fact, it helps me get out of any depressive thoughts by focusing on other character's problems. Win-win in my book. ;D

[@ladyredl3210]

@@MsCurufinwe* friendship hugs*

[@MsCurufinwe]

@@ladyredl3210 * big friendship hugs back *

[@christa8891]

I get so immersed in my own stories I sometimes pace around my room for an hour straight while dreaming. In my experience, alot of the time I stare at a certain spot for a really long time and when I snap out of it i get so confused. I tend to dream about things that I dont have in real life, usually its friends or a romantic relationship since i have social anxiety and its extremely hard for me to communicate with others

[@ruthyy3978]

Y’all ever construct a character in your mind, with their own distinct facial features and personalities and then wonder if someone that looks like that actually exists somewhere in this world? And if they’re anything like the character you’ve created?

[@LaurenLinguist]

Yess!!!! I have a vivid image of a man I've invented named "Ryan"

[@kawrreliz]

yup.. I made a female character named "Blair" in my fantasy world.. I even made her own facial features and personality.. and I don't even know if she really exists in real life : / *sorry for my bad english

[@NiaG34]

I read somewhere that the mind can not create new people so the people you imagine are most likely people you’ve already seen but haven’t realized. Like say you’re walking passed someone in a store, you don’t really pay attention to their features but your brain does.

[@ruthyy3978]

@@NiaG34 that’s honestly so cool 😳 It would honestly be so awesome if I bumped into one of my “characters” one day, I don’t think I’d know how to react 😂

[@kawrreliz]

@@NiaG34 oooh! So that's why when I imagine "Blair"... I feel like I know her face. but i forgot if i ever met her in real life.. thanks for the info!

[@danieladelcastello3622]

I know maladaptive day dreaming isn't healthy, but without it I find it really difficult to soothe and protect myself from boredom, anxiety and depression. Most times the only way to feel like a worthy person is to be the one I built in my internal narratives. Of course when real life interrupts those narratives it causes a great deal of stress.

[@seawrightstudios]

I don't know though. I am willing to bet actors, actresses, book writers, play writers, movie script writers probably do this.

[@alien5643]

@@seawrightstudios They do definitely, I'm using it to help me write. I've been doing it for years anyway so it's nice to feel like It's useful for something other than a coping mechanism.

[@lmarshall7000]

Whoa. I've done this my whole life and it's embarrassing when someone catches me talking to myself or acting out a scene in my head. My daydreams are good that it's caused me to believe that I could be a writer. Unfortunately, I'm horrible at getting my ideas down on paper and am very lacking in vocabulary in comparison with my age.

[@KFA8piece]

Having the skills to write well is only half the battle. You can write well on a technically level but be horrible at actually creating a plot and well developed characters. Just work on your vocabulary and look for resources on learning to write well and you could probably do well. It’s a process.

[@ningster6144]

It is really really really embarrassing sometimes you don't even know they caught you daydreaming and its 2x embarrassing

[@bethj714]

Oh gosh same lol. esp. the acting out and moving your mouth like your talking lol

[@tunge881]

@L Marshall This!! Always had a hard time. Am currently trying to write a book now, on my fifth chapter, I have no idea if it makes sense, one of my friends says it's great, but we'll see

[@thisbelindaangel2841]

I was once so desperate to continue with my narrative that I messaged my husband to fetch the kids from school later, so I didn't have to stop. Definitely addictive. Even when the storyline was traumatic I had to finish, even if it took days.

[@whoisjohngault3270]

This is how I’ve always settled down for sleep even as a child. I’ve created entire novels in my head. Then once I tire of them I come up with a new one.

[@jeng6786]

I honestly thought this is just how people write stories for books/novels

[@jordanthompson1418]

Ever go back and 're-check out' a book?

[@janinabaezakottirsch9546]

I thought everyone did this...

[@taylorm7777]

ME TOO! I even wrote some of them down.

[@mariamiragaia3632]

I actually created a novel in my "world" and i put i on paper.

[@s.d4001]

I day dream every single day and night about the same story line and characters I made up 7 years ago when I was 12. Every time I try and study I catch my self talking to myself and day dreaming every 20 mins 😭😭😭😭😭

[@artemischen4086]

Omg I'm about the same! I keep repeating the same scenarios again and again for 6 years.

[@apossessedwarlock-4386]

Oh god me too XD. I read this and I was like, hmmmmmmm thats a little too familiar

[@xorsama]

Yaaaa this happens mostly to me when im in distress i think, like when someone makes a stupid comment on the internet, i can spend hours thinking about it...these days ive a crush n this really fucks me up, cant focus on work, make up unrealistic scenarios, get horny etc, then feel bad cause reality is different idk I also do that while watching movies ,so id take multiple 30 mins break in an hour of episode, but it gets lot worse if movie makes me feel uncomfortable or distressed....then it will go on for hours, i imagine what i would do in that situation... sometimes i didn't sleep an entire night cuz i watched a sad film lol

[@alelux4959]

It happens the same to me. I was so scared that people would know about it, but now that I found out others experience this, I feel I am not alone. I also have one story that I have created years ago. And when I have to study, I need a break to daydream. Lately, I found out I could daydream about the actual exam (final exams are oral) and I imagine the questions, answers and reactions. Lol.

[@Captain_MonsterFart]

Oh wow me too. Never have I heard of anyone else doing this. The same story has been with me since I was about 6. I'm now 43! I use it to fall asleep. It comes to me a lot less these days, but I don't really know why. I feel less imaginative with it than I used to be also. The story progression has been stuck for ages.

[@sunflower_zz]

I don't think it's a bad thing for me, it's more like a hobby. I imagine characters from books, movies, or my oc's even without music, which is like my trigger for this daydreams. I tend to rant to myself about anything that is on my mind just to put my thoughts in order, bc I think about a lot of things at the same time and lose focus a lot, so doing this is very helpful for me. And I can control this daydreams, I don't do it in front of other people, so they don't think I'm crazy lol. But let me just say that reading this comment section made me so happy, as I know I'm not the only one who does this :)

[@zz7073]

It makes me feel better that there are other people similar to me in this sense. Thank you for sharing

[@sunflower_zz]

@@zz7073

[@stephanievu3893]

This is exactly what I do! It really is helpful to see others do this too and that it isn't harmful. I always likened it to "watching my own movies", and it's like that! If it's okay to sit and stare at a screen and watch other people imagine, I don't think it's wrong to dream in your own mind for the same amount of time.

[@suoutubez19]

It can be a good thing! Most creative people are daydreamers. Some of them are diagnosing themselves with illnesses just because they occasionally daydream..

[@anonymouscausewhynot]

Oh yeah me too! It one of the main things I do tbh. I tend to walk/sprint whenever I do it, so it helps me exercise too!

[@elliphant760]

I once talked to my (sober for over a decade) Addict dad about my Maladaptive daydreaming, & how it’s affected me. The parallels & similarities he was drawing to his experience with addiction were way too many to ignore. It made me realize that this wasn’t just a fun hobby I had, & that it was genuinely hindering my life & mental health.

[@RhythmAddictedState]

MDD *is* an addiction. I'm glad you have an honest enough relationship with your dad that you can talk about this, that's very cool :))

[@rogue8059]

I feel like this is causing me from living my full life. Been doing this since I can remember. When I was a kid I'd isolate myself and just play inside my head. Now as an adult I can't function normally because I've had spent too many times inside my head that I'm left behind in real life things and I honestly don't know how to deal with reality when I actually have to do it rather than just think it inside my head

[@weird1663]

i feel exactly the same way

[@citrusciderr]

Same. How will I ever be in a healthy and loving relationship if Im in love with my main character in my head…

[@niteskies]

I can relate to this

[@feline_star]

Finally someone who is tired of it as I am

[@lurxius7084]

@@feline_star there are ways to quit

[@0quin0]

It's so validating hearing other people share their experiences in these comments

[@Nova-n0v4]

Yes, indeed

[@baileysmith2646]

I never knew this was an actual thing! For years now I’ve spent hours alone with whatever stories my mind cooks up. I’ve always just thought I was some kind of crazy person. It makes me feel better to know that I’m not the only one who’s like this.

[@username01675]

Lol me too

[@gray_rain]

So I'm not a maladaptive daydreamer, but I do daydream a lot. One thing I run into all the time is getting hung up on details that don't come to me intuitively. Like how would the person I'm imagining *actually* respond to what I'm saying. Or what does the floor actually look like? etc. etc. Sometimes it interrupts the daydream and prevents the story from continuing. Any ideas for how I could more easily move past these details?

[@AngelicDiva1988]

Same here. I thought I was the only one.

[@sunshineinspace6207]

@@gray_rain Nope, I have the same problem.

[@TheHelveticanbarbie]

@@gray_rain Tbh I have the same problem and this might not be a perfect solution, but maybe time skip a little to the next scene and see if your brain fills in the blanks based on the new scene? Like you might want another plot point to happen but discover it can't happen until X person has done Y thing actually etc etc

[@lll-bm1cp]

I did this to deal with loneliness. When I was a kid I had no friends and was bullied constantly so I daydreamed about having friends all the time but it's gotten better now. My hypothesis is that my brain was simulating social stimuli because I was lacking it irl. Even today, on days where I don't socialise much , I notice that I start daydreaming again

[@s.c.6377]

Simulating social stimuli because you lack them in reality is SO relatable!

[@archetype253]

OH MY GOD THIS IS WORD FOR WORD AN ACCURATE EXPLANATION OF MY PROBLEM TOO.

[@AijuahWilliams-mu3oe]

Explained me down to the T!

[@stonecake313]

i ended up failing a lot of classes in uni because of this and struggle to stay on track in work because of how addicting it is to slip into the fantasies for hours. I guess it does negatively impact my life, but I would never want to stop

[@dariakohler4209]

Same here. At this point i don't even care about the negative impact, i just go with the flow. Im used to taking a longer route to my school only to daydream a bit more, even if it means i will miss one or two lessons

[@emmeocean]

I fear that I could never be creative if I ever stop doing it

[@AmberyTear]

I stopped once I moved away from abusive environment and I would never go back to that fantasy land, as comforting as it seemed back then. You have only one life and little precious time. Maladaptive daydreaming steals it from people and weakens them, their focus, memory, productivity... Life is much better now that I have a healthy relationship with reality. It can bring you peace over time.

[@AURIELLA333]

I relate. It's truly an addictive. If i dont make time for it the daydreams will happen during other times in my life like at work, driving, school or while im supposed to be sleeping. So i just work around it now. I usually do it for a few hours a day. It sucks but its what i do

[@alpacafish1269]

@@emmeoceanomg bruh same. Like I feel that if I were to go to therapy to minimize or eliminate my daydreaming then all that creativeness would just disappear and I wouldn’t be myself anymore. And plus daydreaming helps me be in a better mood and feel happy.

[@N0ASAURUS]

i don't think I'm a maladaptive daydreamer but i have all these stories and characters in my head that i act out when I'm alone. Sometimes I spend most of my day acting like I'm one of those characters. I'll do my usual tasks like eating studying or even going out while pretending it's my character who's doing it. I basically implement my daily tasks in my stories. I can carry on with my day but my mind constantly goes back between my real life and my daydreams. People around me don't know about this because it's all in my head and I keep it to myself but when I'm alone i can word out the scene in my head and act it out. I guess you could say I'm constantly roleplaying like children do lol

[@disneybunny45]

That's basically maladaptive daydreaming. I think it's a spectrum.

[@lil_weasel219]

thats maladaptive daydreaminG I mean sounds exactly like it

[@N0ASAURUS]

guess I should look into it more...... thanks for the replies!

[@Enilaelom]

Maybe It can be immersive daydreaming... You should search about this as well

[@N0ASAURUS]

@@Enilaelom i quickly looked it up and it may be it. I'm not distressed about it since I can carry on with my life but to be honest sometimes I spend like 80% of my day daydreaming and i don't think it's that healthy to live my life through someone else. Thanks for the reply I'll definitely look into it more!

[@karimohlman52]

Interesting to hear others experiences. I didn't realize it could be a negative thing for people. I do it all the time (driving or pacing/dancing around my room while listening to music, or when I am on the edge of sleep). I also technically do it while reading , since I "see" the world in my head as the story unfolds. It is just another creative outlet for me. No traumatic childhood, and I have good friends, family, and a wonderful hubby. Though took my husband a bit to get used to me pacing in the bedroom. Took some explaining to get him to understand I wasn't just dancing around and that I didn't want to do it around other people/out in the main living areas with everyone around. He accepts it fine now and let's me have my space when I need or want it.

[@texmex3650]

I try to never do it around my husband, although he has caught me pacing around random parts of the house a few times… it’s so embarrassing to me! lol I just tell him this is a private moment for me.

[@cule65]

I find that quite eccentric

[@gray_rain]

Visualizing what you're reading is definitely not maladaptive daydreaming. Not saying you don't maladaptively daydream, but that specific part of your comment has nothing to do with what maladaptive daydreaming is.

[@karimohlman52]

@@gray_rain That is the only way I can describe what I am seeing when I daydream. The same thing I see when I am reading and picturing that world. It is different, but describing how my brain forms images of worlds I'm thinking about ig? Though honestly, I'm deeper into picturing it when I read because I become totally unaware of what's around me. I have had people yell at me while reading and it has taken them several times to get my attention or they have to break my eye contact with the book

[@karimohlman52]

@@texmex3650 Lol I know the feeling. I made sure to break my husband in gradually to some of my weird habits.

[@tanL22]

I began this at 8 when my family started falling apart. And it just never stopped, and I'm 34. It doesn't interfere with daily life where I cannot function. No one knows about it, but it is very addictive.

[@ijustdocomments6777]

This, pretty much, a bit older than 8 (a bit older than 34 too). Started when I got too old to playact with toys.

[@monicaiscool]

I've done this Since I was 5 at least, but I can't imagine anyone wanting to stop.... its what gets me through life lol.

[@thatsdope9571]

I want to stop it because it's taking over my life. I'd rather daydream alone in my house than go out with my friends. It's not fun anymore and unstoppable

[@farzaneh163]

Same... to me this kinda feels like an advantage instead of something I would want to change

[@everyone4352]

For some people it's severe enough that it makes them hate their real self or the real world, get distracted from doing anything else and not be able to do somethings that they usually do

[@laklomp]

Same mate, without it, i'm lonely and my life feels empty. I got all the things other humans have, but without MaDD, I don't know how I can be? Like, can someone not daydream? So weird concept to me and makes me think about all the paracosms I would lose, all the paras. Nah :) gotta stick with MaDD, sticked with me loyally during tough times, now I am going to stick with Madd :)

[@LaCréé.e]

I want to stop because the reason I (and I'd assume many other people) do it is because of severe discontentment in life (sometimes even depression). I want to be happy in real life, not in a fantasy that consumes me.

[@madisonabigail6097]

For me it’s like I put myself into books or movies that watch/read. I know that I’m doing it and do it on purpose like when I’m going on a walk or trying to sleep. I also do this with music kind of like put myself into the narrative (I think). I’m not diagnosed with any mental illness but do anxious sometimes. I think I mainly do it just for fun.

[@delliehan5290]

Pretty much the same with me! I take inspiration from the books/movies I like and deeply indulge myself in my daydreams. I saw this from another comment but mine is basically just a fanfiction in my head that I'll never write. However, I think in my case, it's just regular daydreaming since I don't pace around or accidentally say a character dialogue (at least that's what the others experience is based on this comment section). Like you said, it mostly happens when I'm going a walk or trying to go to sleep.

[@suoris]

Yeah! I usually place myself in already created fictional worlds or make characters for those worlds and just make scenarios for that, I’m not that so creative as to create my own universe… anyways I’ve also found that it’s a coping mechanism so that’s good too!

[@imacastaway543]

Same

[@jaynik32]

This is me! Thought I was the only one. It’s comforting knowing that I’m not.

[@catzamutter]

I’m the same way. I’ve done this since I was a small child. I’ve even gone so far as to use some of my stories to write actual fictional stories for my writing class. Most of them are just for me, and I can just sit in my room and imagine for hours. I think in some ways it makes me a better writer just because it such an immersive experience, and because I sometimes have used the same daydream over and over I can write stories pretty quickly which was always good for school deadlines lol.

[@SOFreddie]

I've tried to turn this 'negative' habit into a positive one through fanfic writing; turning the daydreams into a creative activity and some form of productivity.

[@angelleonardo5850]

Now this is such a good alternative to get rid of daydreaming in a productive way.

[@SOFreddie]

@yamaagamingyt Try freewriting. Where you just type all the thoughts in your head (like journaling). Your daydream/story will start to evolve in pieces as you get the thoughts out of your head in between mad ramblings.

[@elisabetamicske5717]

My daydreaming has helped me immensely through alot of trauma. I still daydream but try to keep it in check.

[@DrTraceyMarks]

I’m glad it served a useful purpose at least

[@thesoliloquist1940]

@@DrTraceyMarks This is hard to describe, here it is tho: I feel inhibited all the time. Even in my thoughts. Just the thought which includes a word related to a bad memory makes me cringe. Example: the word 'make' is a trigger word bc a guy told me I 'make him frustrated'.. The past is always with me and is easily triggered like that. I will be out walking and i will start to feel strange and tensed up from ruminations. Talking is hard Im almost mute bc i am sure no one wants to hear what i think.

[@StressinAbtLife]

For me, I take characters from books I'm reading, movies, shows, etc., and shape the story into whatever I want. My trigger is music, and I don't have much of a problem. It's interesting how this negatively effects some people. Depending on how much I like the characters, I can be immersed on and off whenever I want in that particular story for months or just days. My longest one is currently still going, almost every day for a year now. Other ones have usually only lasted up to a month.

[@itzjia_6005]

Do you insert yourself in them? I do this all the time with musicians i like, make hole complex storylines and all, regardless of how they are IRL ( i still keep track of how they actually are though and respect them) but i never insert myself into the "fan fiction."

[@StressinAbtLife]

@@itzjia_6005 Sometimes I insert myself, I especially did in the past, but my longest one right now I haven't inserted myself.

[@itzjia_6005]

@@StressinAbtLife ah ok. I think i did in some in the past. And i still do sometimes but they never last more than a few hours, i dont like inserting myself really.

[@reckonerwheel5336]

You’re a fanfic writer at heart, even if you don’t do the writing part. 🧡

[@StressinAbtLife]

@@reckonerwheel5336 I relate to your comment so much 🤣

[@MeccaGenesis]

Daydreaming has given me a false sense of productivity and success. The journey to relearning myself is so liberating!

[@princessbanana4625]

Oh shit I do this I thought it was somewhat normal. Was literally just day dreaming before watching this but it doesn't effect my day to day activities just when I'm lonely or sad but I can do it for hours to keep myself entertained.

[@ashtrathewitch9]

I refer to this as pacing, or my "walk around" since physical movement and music was my trigger. I grew up very isolated and very lonely as a child, things never went the way I wanted, but they did in my day dreams so I would walk around for hours in my dreams, feeling what my character felt, being the center of attention, having my family whole. It was my safe haven and often it was my savior when it came to suicidal thoughts. It kept the self hatred and anger away. Now if I find myself alone or not busy, I put my headphones in and do my "walk around" for a while, or I'll take my dog for a walk and just let my dreaming pull me away for a short while.

[@rossyvizcarra1927]

That sounds nice.

[@rona0223]

I do the same thing but I find it crazy that you being alone a child made you more lonelier kinda of because I have a lot of siblings like I have eight siblings so it can get really annoying and like they're loud voices and whatever so I would isolate myself in a room and close it and I will put headphones on walk around too oh my God it's so crazy how you can connect with someone on the internet

[@ashtrathewitch9]

@@rona0223 no I had a sibling though we're closer now, we utterly hated each other as children. But i understand, I delt with a lot of chaos as a kid to, I'm sure most who have the disorder have.

[@lkntgkltrndfl]

oh thank goodness, it's not just me. also, it's so damn embarrassing when someone walks into the room while i'm doing that (especially since sometimes when the music is kinda getting fast so i start walking faster too, and it looks weird)

[@ashtrathewitch9]

@@lkntgkltrndfl I feel ya, it was super embarrassing when my parent would come in mid *jump,run, facial expression*

[@tayzonday]

This channel makes me wish Guinness tracked a world record for simultaneous DSM-V diagnoses. I might hold that record.

[@virginianykanen4694]

We gonna fight for the gold medal! Good to know that there's someone like me.

[@DrTraceyMarks]

😃

[@degrassiglee2]

Hello Mr. Chocolate Rain!

[@funeralangel8262]

Having one diagnosis is so yesterday and boring. You must have at least _two !_ 👌☺

[@tayzonday]

@ballisticrholo I swear, no joke, I’m at about thirty DSM-V word-for-word. I feel seen. And it’s beautiful. (But to be fair, I’m only at three in professional diagnosis).

[@pangolinfalling]

I've been doing this as long as I can remember, and I never knew that it was maladaptive daydreaming. I've been pretty isolated for a lot of my life, and my at-home situation was not great, so I turned to my imagination as a way of escape. I loved to read as a kid, so I would make up a character and put them in the story that I was currently reading. They would interact with the characters of the story and form friendships with them; they would participate in the story as if they had always been apart of it. I still do this to some extent today. It's never felt bad to me; it was always just a way to not be in the real world for a little while. It gave me comfort then, and it gives me comfort now.

[@mariahlove4405]

I do this too. Reading is my way to escape and daydreaming is my way to be free( if only for a short while until im pulled back into the real world) I wish I could write my daydreams down. I have so many worlds and characters😭

[@smsmsmsmsmsm]

Yeah I agree 100%, it’s comforting and keeps my mind alive I feel

[@calyssmarviss]

Yeah it’s NOT bad. People with no imagination are just jealous they can’t escape as good as us xD

[@vivianfoster702]

I suffered from a few childhood traumas, sexual abuse and bulling. I started doing this around age 12 and never fully stopped, but it's definitely less now. If I didn't do this, I would ponder negative thoughts, which was worst. My alternate world was fun, positive, and I was liked. I had to listen to music and pace around my room, sometimes for hours. When I grew older, and left the abusive environment, I did it less and less. I didn't even realize it. I sometimes I do it now when I'm stressed. But whenever I did this, I was fully aware it was my fantasy and I put myself in that zone. I still really enjoy it sometimes. It's the only chance I get to be a world famous singer or tennis player or whatever I want. I had different names, different looks, lived in different countries, had different occupation, etc. I never told a soul until now. I'm reading the comments and wow, the similarities. Now, I'm realizing it's a coping mechanism and it helped me alot. I guess the only bad thing is I grew to be an introvert, homebody and even when going outside, I like being alone. No buddy is ever as fun and kind as the friends in my make belief.

[@SayItAintTso]

As a musician, I depend on maladaptive daydreaming in order to formulate creative ideas, and those ideas give me meaning in my life. But that’s why it’s so addictive for me. I forget to actually pursue my goals and take action. Too much is too much, and I’m experiencing the consequences of that now.

[@jjcrazi]

It’s only a problem if you feel it’s impacting your life negatively. I considered myself weird for doing it but I don’t want to stop.

[@MissMattMello]

I feel the same ! Quite conforting to know other people are doing it tho

[@mandrumi045]

It's hard to tell tho Idk if it can count as a hobby or is just me procrastinating

[@MissMattMello]

@@mandrumi045 i guess if it impacting your life too much it can be harmful but as long as it just help you to relaxe and you can focus on other thing after I think you can see that as a hobby 🤔 I'm not a specialist tho + I'm not sure I'm being clear 'cause english's not my first language so... Sorry if I'm not making any sens

[@pixelkid2808]

I’ve suffered with MDD for years and it’s literally ruining my life. I can get engulfed in a “day dream” that lasts literal days. It’s like I’m awake but sleeping. I’ve lost entire weeks when my MDD is at its worst. It’s horrible.. I pace, whisper to myself etc.. I’m so embarrassed by it because I’m a nearly 40 year old woman.

[@stevengreidinger8295]

There is no need to feel embarrassed. We all have things about us we might like to improve, and there are people out there who can help if you seek them out. I like to have some safe people to talk with as well, who I can rely on to listen to an explanation about something like this and not judge.

[@pixelkid2808]

@@stevengreidinger8295 I appreciate your kind words. Thank you 🙏🏾

[@ladybaabaa3294]

I'm 42 and although I've always engaged in MDD as far back as a kid, over the past 10-15 years it's become much more frequent and this past year, it's become apparent just how strong this need is. My partner lost her job in March 2020 and ever since, I get pretty much no time alone. I daydream probably about 70-80% of the day, and get really tense, unhappy and irritable if I can't because I'm not alone, so I have to react and respond to reality. I can no longer talk to myself to outwardly verbalise the daydreams, but I do whisper (I even do this sometimes when out in public, usually walking, where I get so bored, I daydream to pass the time.)

[@NicolasMassu1984]

I have the same problem as you and now that I know that this stuff is called MDD (Maladaptive Daydreaming) I can't seem to get hold of my life and get my act together. I am glad that I am not the only one with ADHD and Bipolar Disorder that has this condition and it's controlling my life in every aspect of it and I want to get out of it. I am a 36 year old Male and the things that are going on in my mind they are horrible to even describe it. I just wish that there is magic pill or support group that can help people deal with this MDD weather it be in Spanish (I was born in Chile and now I live in Western Australia) English or any other language just as long that the people that are in it can share their stories and how they have impacted my life and that of Others. You are not alone I am with you all the steep of the way. Thank you for reading this.

[@ladybaabaa3294]

@@NicolasMassu1984 Western Australia? Hello neighbour! I'm over on the East, on the Gold Coast! I'm pretty sure there must be some sort of online discussion forum about this...

[@Alexa-dv7ni]

Wow. I’m 30 and this whole time ever since I could remember I constantly escaped to my room or to be alone just to set aside time to daydream. I never once thought it was a problem because I could always stay on task when I needed to. I just loved playing out stories or scenarios in my head. 😅 I often do it when I drive (maybe I shouldn’t lol). Never knew there was a name for it.

[@gailneal]

I'm stunned. Never imagined anyone else did this - my parallel life. Don't know if this will change anything, but it's good to know there's a name for it and that I'm not alone. Thanks for posting.

[@mostHumblePersonAlive]

Me too, I was equally stunned. No one talks about this and I had no idea anyone else did this.

[@rb2807]

♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

[@Softpastelkat]

I started doing this as a child when I couldn’t sleep. I’d imagine entire stories to keep my mind occupied until I eventually fell asleep. Luckily it has never interfered with everyday tasks, it’s kinda in the same category as picking up a book - when I have free time. I definitely used it as a way to imagine comforting scenarios for make-believe characters when things were a little crazy in real life. Still do it to this day, still adding and rewriting all the “stories” in my head 😊

[@eleonora0916]

same girl!

[@angelamarie4137]

I've done this my entire life to fall asleep.

[@malu8380]

This is me I also do it when I’m bored, and as an artist, I love designing characters and stories, so… I guess is only natural for me that sometimes I take part of my days to make their stories in my head. But I find it useful, it helps with creativity I guess.

[@serasilva8214]

It's like a hobby to me. Enjoyable, immersive, and calming. It doesn't cause issues which I'm grateful for since I would never want to be forced to stop for my own good lol.

[@dorcaswinter8296]

Same 😀 I’ve even taught myself to imagine the perfect scenario where I can fall asleep within minutes.

[@arabiansandboa]

I've had Maladaptive Daydreaming as long as I can remember. My main triggers are music, movies, KZbin videos, pictures of my idol (Michael Jackson) etc. It's ruining my life but it's helped me through a lot. It makes me happy. I feel like if I never had MDD I'd have severe depression

[@__THRILLERAUDIO_]

Same

[@ilovemichaeljackson58]

I started back when I was really young as a way to cope with my parents who were always fighting and sometimes taking their anger out on me. When I was 9 years old, I created a whole story centered around being best friends with Michael. I spent most of my childhood alone in my room because it felt better to continue my story of spending time with Michael than it did to go out with friends/family. That daydream lasted for a little over 5 years and I'm only now realizing as I'm writing this comment that I don't really have any actual memories from that time. The only "memories" that I can reminisce on are the ones that I made with Michael for the duration of that daydream. And it doesn't help that the only reason this one stopped after five years was because my grandpa (who practically raised me) passed away. I fell into a deep depression and as a way to cope, eventually started up a new daydream that consisted of the same thing (being best friends with Michael) but now Michael let my grandpa and I live with him so he can be taken care of for his cancer. It makes me sad thinking about it but it also worries me because I spend a lot of time talking out loud and reenacting so many scenes going on in my head. The quarantine we've had for the last year has only increased my daydreaming and I've created three more stories that I've been trying to maintain for over a year now. The only thing that really worries me is that it's becoming increasingly harder to differentiate my daydreams from reality. I was just talking to my older sibling and asked if they remembered how much fun we had during this one trip as a whole family and they were so confused. They asked me to clarify what I was talking about because that never happened and then I just told them to forget about it. They said I must have been thinking of a dream I had last night so I just agreed because I wasn't about to tell them that I have a whole other universe inside my mind that I sometimes act out in my room.

[@arabiansandboa]

@@ilovemichaeljackson58 I wish you lots of love and stength my friend😊❤

[@lariocean_]

SAME

[@latoyambetshu740]

@@ilovemichaeljackson58 omg this was literally me!!!!!

[@genmyth9513]

Oh my god, this explains so much.. I did this for years for hours at a time. Sometimes I'd pace around my room acting out my fantasies, talking, laughing, crying and I'd completely lose track of time. My favourite though was sitting on my swing (the repetitive motion helped with the daydream). Sometimes I'd just get the random urge to go to my swing just so that I could fall into my daydream and spend time in my fantasy world.

[@gelb598]

Lmao the swing though. I would go hard as a child day dreaming on a swing set. Definitely can relate to that. Good times lol it was a hobby in itself and I have zero regrets

[@Spudst3r]

I loved waving around pencils ✏️ repetitively or sticks. Staring at the motion to get my fantasies moving. Lots of sound effects when it got intense.

[@Dentist-ne7bo]

I’ve done this since I was a child. I can’t imagine getting rid of it. Its helped me escape my anger, stress and suicidal thoughts. The story lines have changed over the last decade. I’ve always dreamed of complex worlds with many characters and even listen to songs to ‘feel’ my situation. I even whisper to myself and try to keep myself isolated. My parents constantly try to ’catch me acting crazy’ but it’s what’s kept me alive. I wouldn’t want any treatment even if it was available

[@mandrumi045]

I stopped reading comments and inmediatly imagined myself in a game show where I explained someone how maladaptive daydreaming affects me personaly, but it was a made up me that I created a couple days ago that is one of my personas when daydreaming

[@SkeleLock]

Oh my God, I also do this! I imagine myself on some Talk Show as if I'm famous, and explaining my life to people who REALLY REALLY want to hear about it!!! If I'm alone, I'll "talk" to the host and audience for HOURS if I get too absorbed.

[@eleonoradelpiano8635]

@@SkeleLock yep, thats me all over....

[@BunniiBlossomBleum]

I legit pace in my room alone In the quiet for hours and start fantasizing about what I’d rather have and where I’d rather be.I start humming- mouthing words- I hate that I have to escape to my world because it isn’t true and it really hurts. It takes hours to finally get there. And then hours just stuck in my dreams.

[@Pond721]

I find myself whispering or smiling maybe even tearing up because of my daydreaming. I do mostly manage to keep it inside my head and make my exterior normal while at work, but some seeps through. I also forgot what I was doing sometimes. I'm not certain if it's maladaptive daydreaming, but I certainly use it as a coping mechanism.

[@angryotter9129]

I’ve been doing this forever, but my triggers are when I’m doing mundane things, like washing dishes or taking a shower. I have to actually set a timer to prevent me from standing in the shower for an hour, especially since we got a new water heater and the hot water never seems to run out 😅 On the plus side, I’m a writer and I can use these intense daydreams to work through scenes.

[@drawingdragon]

Yes!!! My family has had this running joke for years that I can't shower and get dressed in under an hour. It literally is impossible for me - and the reason is because I will stand around in the hot water and daydream for ages before I start actually paying attention and showering.

[@corinne9394]

I'm a writer and I also use them to work out scenes and plots! But it does sometimes become a loop of me "re-watching" a scene a bunch of different times to see what happens when I tweak things just a little.

[@shanemorris3554]

I bet a lot of writers have this

[@aneledragondreamer173]

@@drawingdragon Ohhh!! me too!!! XDDD I got the perfect excuse that it my hair ( I have curly hair and i need to untangle and brush my hair in the shower) but they don't but it anymore XDDD. my father always tell me to do it more quick

[@aneledragondreamer173]

@🌼Brianna Jenell🌼 yes! For me it both Drawing and writing, I liked doing both , so sometimes I draw and sometimes I write, it depends what I think Is More better to express it! ( I kind of have more skill in Drawing than writing, becuse I thent to draw More than write , but I am working on both now)

[@JadeDRail]

I used to use maladaptive daydreaming all of the time. When your life is completely unbearable, it can be the only escape. I don't think it is always a bad thing like you said, it can be a coping mechanism that keeps people alive. But when life begins to become more bearable, it is good to slowly peeter all this daydreaming. I don't think I still use maladaptive daydreaming. I usually only intentionally daydream before bed to help me sleep or if I need ideas for a video or story.

[@lil_weasel219]

It has kept me alive I considered even making a book out of that sh but dunno feels creepy so ugh no i dont think so

[@JadeDRail]

@@lil_weasel219 If you want to try writing a book, you should! Daydreaming about a particular storyline is great for writing!

[@lil_weasel219]

@@JadeDRail might be, but it might also be too much to revive all that to such a degree, it makes the yearning for it to be a reality even worse You see every time I'd read harry potter in the last 5 years,as I got to the end of the book, I would get a horrid, separation crisis. Id get a really bad anxiety attack because my comfort distraction was over and the piercing silence and terror of the real world would just hit me like a wrecking ball. Well you get the picture, this way its more flexible and I can just let go much more easily, if I ever get better. Im glad you at least got better w whatever you had to go through.

[@pilaracevedo2078]

Same, it helped me to literally survive. First it was memory blocking, but when I started to consciously remember things and seeing reality, the only option was escaping through my imagination. I'm sure I'll get to the point I can control it at my will as you do. Hope you're doing well

[@saniah842]

how did you stop it?

[@kiraharuoko2491]

I started maladaptive daydreaming when I was around 8 years old, I was mostly alone because I am an only child and my parents were always busy. I would talk/act/imagine for hours in my bedroom as if there was someone with me or as if I was in a different place/situation. I also do it before sleeping or when waking up for hours and end up sleeping late. The emotions/acting were so intense that I can cry on point if told because I am used to it when maladaptive daydreaming. It feels good because I can put myself in a situation that i want. I still do it today and sometimes my daydreams are toxic like i would imagine i was in a toxic relationship and it's not good if i see myself in that place in reality. I used to do it in school for minutes and go back listening to the teacher and then maladaptive daydream again especially if i dont like the subject.

[@claudiabetes]

Yes! This! I can easily have any emotion while I'm daydreaming! That's so weird!

[@nairisdoesstufg1261]

This very similar with me even down to the age, since im the also an only child my dad is usually absent half the year because of his job so im always with my mom. Im scared I might get too sucked into it so I just stick with my character stories, AU, and talking to brain therapist. Though i usually daydream while multitasking like scrolling through my phone or sweeping the floor. Im glad that im not the only one that has this sort of thing.

[@HyuugaSamurai202]

I did this exact same thing. It’s a miracle my grades were as good as they were then, but boring class subjects quickly sent me into dream mode. By the end of school, I had participated in very few after class activities to prevent it from interrupting that time, even if that meant my college resumes weren’t as impressive as they could be. Tbh my only regret is not being more social; it’s something I genuinely enjoyed when I could finally pull myself back into reality.

[@niteskies]

Literally same!!!

[@svemirzeka]

I'm 19 now, and I have been doing this since I was a child. My parents used to call it "playing inside my head", which it sort of was. I'd close myself in a room, walk around, and imagine tons of scenarios or things. I don't do this as much as I used to, and I have no special triggers, but I do feel restless if I don't get to vent literally though this process.

[@IReadBooksForFun]

This was me when I had my worse depression. I also have ADHD. I haven't escaped in a long time though since I've found supportive and grounding relationships and took active steps to improve my life.

[@monicdavis6150]

I have felt this way. I didnt know it had a name.

[@IReadBooksForFun]

@@monicdavis6150 yeah. When I was at my loneliest, it felt like the only way I could cope was to live in another world. I'd literally use going to bed as an escape so that I'd have uninterrupted daydreaming time. I'm glad I don't have to do that anymore and I haven't for years but I know I could relapse if things get bad enough.

[@IReadBooksForFun]

@B G most of my daydreams involved me (but my mind's actor being prettier, smarter, more athletic, sometimes having superpowers, etc) but I would create friendships and relationships in my head. I didn't have many friends and I was a late bloomer when it came to romance (I didn't date until college not because of my parents but because of awkwardness). Having stronger relationships now that affirm me make it more bearable to stay in the real world for me. My worlds were built out of loneliness.

[@IReadBooksForFun]

I definitely still daydream but it's mostly just to music now instead of spending hours staying to myself and not wanting to do anything but imagine myself in another world.

[@Pumpkiwi47]

Right? I have bipolar and I didn't realise this until now, much before my diagnosis, I think almost all my life since I was a teen I did this 70%-80% of the time. I often had this background daydreaming going on deliberately even when I was with people around. It's surprising to see how less it is now after being on meds, having treatment etc

[@yeyeliz]

It’s really comforting to hear I’m not the only one who does this. I would lock myself in my bathroom, pace around while listening to music and just create AMVs in my head lol I’ve done it for over a decade now and I always thought it was only me being weird. But I guess the one good thing that come from them is the breakthroughs for my stories or even new ideas. I end up writing or drawing those daydreams so not all time was wasted I’d like to think. I don’t do it as often or as long as during my teens but it’s still a thing I find myself doing when I need a break from reality. At least for me it helps and even adds to my creative process now by not letting those fantasies stay only in my head.

[@uzuxmxki]

im literally in shock i relate so much

[@yeyeliz]

@@uzuxmxki eeeey! good to hear there are fellow creative daydreamers out there! Keep on daydreaming! 😊

[@sydneydufauchard]

Yes in the bathroom!

[@scarlett-moriko1543]

Holy fuck I genuinely thought I was just being childish and everyone was just too afraid to talk about it? Do you ever imagine fictional characters watching you while you dance/ listening to music or just daily tasks? I’ve been imagining it for years and I genuinely convince myself that these characters are real even though I KNOW for a fact that they aren’t.

[@yeyeliz]

@@scarlett-moriko1543 not to that extent no. But I do that on long car rides, sometimes? Imagining a character running at top speed or doing parkour to chase our car lol

[@seulver]

I used to wake up feeling sad on the fact I couldn't hold some of the pieces of my dreams. Sleep was an paradise, and daydreaming was better than paying attention on my surroundings or ppl around me. I hope none of you get to there, getting out of that takes time. It gets better (if you put some effort, in my experience), I'm not as immersed as I used to be in my dreams. Hope all of you who are going through this will eventually get out of there.

[@creditcard5346]

I there.. but I don't mind..

[@hyperfox0934]

I was there for a while, turns out I was using it as a method of coping with ADHD, and my way to get out was essentially getting medication. With it, I don't need my dreams as much anymore. I still have them, and love them when they're here, but I don't need them, and that makes it so much easier to moderate. :)

[@rbkb6037]

I literally have been experiencing this my entire life. Everything I've learned here about this condition, it makes so much more sense to me and it clarifies some things I've always wanted to know about myself and this condition. I have lived a lonely and sheltered life, and I always done this as a way to entertain myself and cope with all of my stress and my problems. As I've grown into an adult, I've realized how disruptive this is and how much it tends to interfere with my daily life. I am glad i found your channel and this video in particular.

[@sparklydandruff]

I've been like this for my whole life, but only recently started noticing that I'd spend at least 4 hours, sometimes more, just fantasizing about things, talking to myself and listening to music while imagining things. I still don't know what triggers it and I started thinking that I'm becoming more unproductive with time, this is what worries me because I'm becoming busier and I need to have control over the usage of my time.

[@calaglinn5570]

Same here. I have been doing this since I was 5 years or so and have been trying to stop since 7 or 8. Lately, it is making me less productive than usual. It makes us feel really guilty, right? Well, hope you can find a way to control it. Also, about the triggers, I think when we do this during our whole life we end up with lots of triggers... I started with movies, boredom and sleeptime, now besides those also music videos, music, excitement, sadness and even happiness... not sure if this info can help, but maybe you can recognize one or two of your triggers here. Only recently I found out that when I am too happy I daydream my way back to a neutral feeling and it surprised me a little.

[@vi_toria_]

você é brasileira? / are u from Brazil?

[@claraale2685]

meu deus eu

[@calaglinn5570]

encontro de brasileiros kkkkk se eu soubesse teria respondido em português

[@burtjulia0]

I find it really can steel away your life. It just sucks up so much time and attention, and causes me to be more isolated. It's so hard to stop tho

[@dorcaswinter8296]

I wouldn’t consider it maladaptive for myself. It doesn’t negatively impact my life. In fact I find it really soothing and it creative. To be honest, I feel so bad for people who can’t or don’t do it. It’s the most amazing thing to be able to create whole universes in your mind.

[@cocoaplayzgacha1577]

Same!

[@AtlisDe]

Same here, i like drawing character concepts so it really helps in the artistic and writing domain for me. To me, its like watching a movie, reading a book, or playing a game that you created. Since i was a kid I've done this to help me go to sleep too. Unless I'm too tired and then i end up going to bed instantly lol.

[@nicoleporquez687]

Are u grasping the definition of MDD? It's not a gift at all,the sad part about people who have mdd excessively daydream of themselves but a better version usually it's because of their insecurities,they daydream about having a better life than what they have and so much more, it's a survival coping mechanism

[@Daisika]

@@nicoleporquez687 Yeah but I think that's why I like it so much. Mentally, I suffer reallyyyy bad and the daydreaming helps me. I have a hard time connecting to people too, so, once again, it helps me. I think I'd feel worse about it if I actually felt a real connection to this world, but I don't. I derealize a LOT. Nothing ever feels real. I don't have any friends. I hate my job. Part of me knows it's a coping mechanism and form of escapism, but when I turn to my normal life, I feel like it's obvious which one is better in my mind.

[@trystandupre1663]

Since I have aphantaisa I cannot visualize, but I'm still capable of daydreaming, So I can watch movies and play games and all sorts of complex tasks with my daydreaming going full throttle in the background at all hours of the day. It used to be a coping mechanism, then as I got older it became a problem, but in the last five or so years I've integrated it into my writing process. It went from a coping mechanism done off the rails to the beating heart of my creative process.

[@nancyweber7974]

I use MDD as a way to fall asleep every night. It always has the same theme and characters. Since having a stroke, MMD has become very easy to slip into and always welcomed.

[@ladybaabaa3294]

I also daydream every night to relax me into sleep.

[@jennecorpuz5577]

i thought i'm just the one experiencing this.

[@lil_weasel219]

MDD is normally an acronym for major depressive disorder

[@aerynstormcrow]

I do this when doing something boring, like driving, taking a shower, laying down to sleep, etc. It’s crazy how real those people feel to me. I ended up writing all my daydreams down in the form of several novels, which really helped a lot bc it gave the characters permanence that I could revisit without daydreaming.

[@Kaku24]

I’ve had this since little and just called it “my imaginary world”. At 33 only just found out it had a scientific name. It helped me like through some of the worst trauma imaginable and I don’t think its necessarily a bad thing, it just another coping mechanisms. I guess it depends on if you can do this and still ‘function’ as an person.

[@lita2336]

I think it's bad if it consumes so much time and energy that you cannot function normally anymore. Since I was a child I've always imagined various characters and worlds, then draw some of them. I never even thought there's anything wrong with that, otherwise how any of the fiction book or movies would be born?

[@yusurkassem4174]

Yh been doing it my whole life and wouldn't say its generally bad, but for me recently it has been affecting me more negatively. I can't keep using it as a way to escape my life. I've realised that I hate everything about my life and am only happy when daydreaming, which makes it SO hard to stop, and makes life even more depressing when I'm forced back to reality and it's shit compared to my 'imaginary world'. I'm not even living my life for myself, my purpose throughout the day sometimes is to fantasise and make up new scenarios for 'alternate me' who has the life i want, while go through my own life like a robot. I wake up being excited about continuing my fantasy and my fantasy only, not my actual life. That's when it becomes maladaptive and I'm at a point where i don't know how to balance it anymore. I don't want it to stop because it's my comfort zone and something I've done forever, but I don't want it to be this big part if my life either

[@lauhanne3338]

i woul called it daydreaming because it was not the same as night dreaming xD

[@yusurkassem4174]

@Eme A it was a little like that for me before, but it's too unrealistic to use it as a vision. I can't get into the reasons why but most daydreams are quite a step from my real life I used to use daydreams like that sometimes, but idk the older I get the more I realise it's just a fantasy that I'm using as a distraction. I think I have to care about my life first before I can view daydreams that way

[@yusurkassem4174]

@Eme A aw thank you that’s very sweet🙏 I hope you find happiness and peace too

[@winebox]

Don’t know if I’ve ever told you but God bless you for all you do.

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Thanks so much I really appreciate that! 😊👍🏽

[@anna123americangirl]

I literally have done this since I was a child....it helps pass time or when I'm in a stressful situation

[@lydiaconnor4924]

Everyday since I was six years old I would spin in circles, swing, or jump on the trampoline to escape. The fun ny thing is that my fantasies involve actual people that exist in my life or in movies and I intermix them. I am 19 and just found out this existed today. I feel relieved that I am not alone. My parents always got angry at me for spinning and severely punished me, but I couldn't help it and knew I needed help, but as religious people they are like if you trust God hell help you bullshit. And I even did pray, but knew that I couldn't help myself.

[@maur_sault750]

Amen to this comment

[@norawantstobattle]

i’ve had this one “storyline” that’s been going on for almost a year now, there are at least 11 different characters. it started when i was trying to drop a really toxic friend and was insanely lonely, watching this video makes me feel called out 😭

[@mrithikasivakumar]

I feel you! Not related to what you said but I’ve been writing down the different ‘universes’ that I create so whenever I feel bored or get tired of my usual daydreaming, I check this list and get lost in it again💀 it’s a never ending cycle lol

[@jeng6786]

I just thought this type of thing was called planning while writing a book.

[@gogogetter]

Mine is really similar to yours except I have over 30 characters 🥴. They all have birthdays, full names, hobbies, jobs etc. i have been doing this since I was about 11, im 32 now.

[@ijustdocomments6777]

Oh man, so many people in the comments! This is one of those "I always thought I was alone in this" type of things that makes you feel less weird when you find out you're not. You all have my love and understanding. This is something I've done since I was fairly young, maybe pre-teen (37 now). I just took the lives and adventures I had always acted out with my toys and internalized it so no one could judge me. I went a few years without doing this as much recently because I'd gotten really into online roleplaying. Then one night I realized I hated everyone I'd surrounded myself with in that venture, and went back to engaging in storytelling I had control over. I did use it to write a good bit for a while too, albeit within the framework of someone else's world-building. This is an effective tool for that, I would think.

[@ashironikko5860]

I don't think I can even stop tbh. My daydreams are so good, I literally do it everyday! Its what keep entertained and happy,I'm scares one day life will be miserable and lonely again without it.

[@jvmeel7454]

Same... I dont understand why someone would want to stop it tho... Its so nice

[@lenamonroe2961]

@@jvmeel7454 It can become a terrible crippling addiction for some. Same way that heroin users enjoy getting a hit so do people with severe MDD. It can ruin school, work, and relationships just like any other addiction.

[@jvmeel7454]

@@lenamonroe2961 I work with mine... It fuels my creativity

[@lenamonroe2961]

@@jvmeel7454 That's fantastic! I'm so glad it is positive for you!

[@jvmeel7454]

@@lenamonroe2961 Thank you

[@mideygar3766]

This actually helps me a lot. I’m a choreographer and I was diagnosed with the disorder. I can visualize stories, lives, programs and basically anything. I can spend hours and hours doing nothing and just imagining. It sometimes does get a bit bothersome but I’m glad this has a name. I thought everyone could do this

[@how_tragic]

The thought of stopping maladaptive daydreaming is so distressing because I’ve grown so attached to the characters and the various stories they’re put into that I don’t ever want to loose them because it would be like loosing the biggest part of myself.

[@yadiravazquez2865]

I don't know why, but hearing the explanation I have such a hard time putting into words makes me emotional. This has taken up so much of my life and never knew how to describe it to anyone.

[@anaidprz]

I didn't know it was a condition. I've been doing it ever since I was a child. As several friends pointed out I should put those stories on paper, it encouraged me to pursuit a career as writer. I'm halfway there, with a couple of published books. Now whenever I daydream it's a great fuel to write down those thoughts and create new stories.

[@chloehart4412]

I hope your writing career goes well! I love that you’ve realised it can be a gift sometimes🙏

[@caeligood6607]

When folks say it is "Maladaptive" or "a Condition" that sounds so negative. granted if it interferes greatly with the world around you .. sure.. but if you can funnel it into creative stuff. I did it because honestly... the real world sucks and folks were such assholes that I would rather be in my own creation... safe.

[@mrithikasivakumar]

Wow that’s so cool I’m so happy for you!! Even I tried writing them but I always lose interest after the first chapter or so cause I can’t think of anything more lol

[@olivituss5140]

I don't necessarily think I have maladaptive daydreams, but a lot of this does strike a chord with me. Like many others have said I have a series of fictional characters that I spend a lot of time thinking about, with the dreams ranging from minute-long shorts to hours of continuous "writing" and "rewriting" the events the characters go through. It doesn't really affect my life negatively. I sometimes tend to walk a bit behind others in order to daydream a little extra, but that's only if there are more people there, because I wouldn't want to ditch someone just to dream, lol. I'm also an introvert, and I do enjoy time to myself, during which I often dream while I do everyday stuff. Like most people, I'd assume. Idk what my triggers are. Music makes stuff easier to imagine, but I don't really need it. I can start dreaming whenever, basically, as long as I'm not too stressed out or too focused on a task. Idk, I've done this since I was a child, so even if it is maladaptive daydreaming it's not caused by trauma, at least. It's ok by me tho. It's pretty neat to get to direct my own movie in my head, lol.

[@daniela421]

omg you just described me! i walked into this video thinking this could be some sort of disorder and i was kind of worried but these scenarios that i create in my head doesn't really affect my real life that much, i can easily distinct what is real and what is just dreaming. i do this mostly just to pass the time (my life got really boring after quarantine started), when i go to sleep and sometimes when i'm listening to music. but i rarely daydream when i'm really focused on something or stressed out, just like you said

[@0rchid71]

This is exactly what i’ve done since i was about 4, of course i only started listening to music and daydreaming at the same time. I create completely different scenarios sometimes but with the same characters, sometimes i just zone out and daydream but usually i’m in control? some of my friends said that what i do sounds like MDD and some others said it wasn’t. So i’m just kinda lost, idk what it is.

[@LordofFullmetal]

@@daniela421 If it helps, it doesn't really affect my life either. I would describe it like my caffeine addiction - there's definitely a compulsion there. If I had plans to dream, and I suddenly can't, I'm going to be annoyed. But I can live without it when I have to, and it doesn't interrupt my real-life tasks. So you're not alone!

[@daniela421]

@@LordofFullmetal good to know i'm not alone 🙏 i think i mostly do this just to deal with the fact that i'm a very lonely person, i dont have a lot of social interaction so daydreaming is my way to deal with that

[@hiii4636]

Same. It's still much better with music though.

[@aileen_7292]

I’m definitely a maladaptive daydreamer. I used to lay in bed almost the entire day pretending to be asleep, but really just creating scenarios. I used to not eat or do anything for HOURS. It was addictive. I stopped doing it when I entered highschool and spent all my time on homework. But I noticed all my wandering thoughts and alone moments (since then until now) are spent trying to recreate that time I spent daydreaming all day

[@viihleen]

I don't see many people talking about this, this is something very complex and we need to be heard!!

[@Sibunamember101]

I've started doing this since I was a kid and now I'm in college and I can't stop. I'm so excited when I'm alone in the house so I can put my earphones on and walk around and act out my fantasies. I've lost count of how many deadlines I've missed because of this.