Total War: Three Kingdoms - Part 3 - The Great Dong Race

[@tomm5663]

Jon: I don’t swear on the main channel to stay family friendly Also Jon: T H E G R E A T D O N G R A C E

[@Lostangel1000]

Yet he still isn't technically swearing since both one the cities they are taking and one the people he is up against are named Dong...

[@BenWGray]

@@Lostangel1000 Urgh

[@rwp0079]

Dong is pretty tame, I think the bigger contradiction is how often he says cock lol.

[@DZ-1987]

Well cock also means Chicken.

[@ollyclass]

@@rwp0079 Also cock was allowed on the BBC. Well James May said it enough.

[@tomaszskowronski1406]

34:54 "You fight like your wife" "I fought my wife, thats a compliment" I too love Liu Bei.

[@Zecholocation]

Jon is really having fun with the titles.

[@superbun277]

MATN Presents: “Carry On Three Kingdoms” 13:17 - “I don’t want him to have Dong, I want Dong for myself!” 13:25 - “Ooh, that’s going to be tricky, how could I potentially get Dong for me?” 22:29 - “Liu Bei is totally going for Dong!” 23:11 - “it’s going to be really tough, but we might be able to get Dong before he does, and that would be great!” 44:19 - “So, lets talk about Dong!”

[@nicwalker882]

Lmao Jesus christ 😂

[@Screamin9Ea9le]

50:26 - "Dong is now a lot 'harder' to knock down"

[@SRosenberg203]

This should be a pinned comment lmao

[@aethonz]

How hard was Claire laughing as she edited this?

[@benjaminmiddaugh2729]

aethonz asking the question we really want the answer to.

[@alexwilliams8365]

You need to get Kong Rong married so he can get a faction heir. He won't live forever.

[@iain.sm.c]

This video is immensely improved by Jon wondering how he can get Dong.

[@Musive99]

"Trebuchet on trebuchet action, the sexy content you all subscribed for." Yes, indeed Jon, yes indeed

[@BaronVonMott]

Hearing Jon talk with such enthusiasm about the actual "Romance of The Three Kingdoms" story, I'm really considering reading it myself...

[@benjaminmiddaugh2729]

I haven't read it either, although I've consumed enough content based on it that I have a reasonably good outline beaten into my head. Unfortunately there's never enough time to read all the stuff that deserves to be read.

[@oneofmanyjames-es1643]

I've been doing my own Kong Rong campaign and this genuinely might be the best Total War game ever imo. They've FINALLY cracked diplomacy, and I've been having so much fun. It ain't perfect (UI I'm staring daggers at you), but has nevertheless shot up to my current game of the year.

[@ManyATrueNerd]

The blend of food, territory trades and diplomacy is especially delicious.

[@calumable]

Yeah diplomacy is the best in any total war game by far

[@SixWingZombi]

34:55 *OH SNAP THAT'S A ROAD TO EL DORADO REFERENCE*

[@CountPatchy]

I'm glad Jon got his hands on Dong, although I did expect it to be harder than it was

[@justderp5713]

Despacito 5 Announced by “Big Dong” Kong Rong

[@DZ-1987]

Kong Dong, is never Rong. No wait, King Kong's Rong and has a Dong. What? Wait, Kong Rong's never Dong. Ara, Ara, DZ, what am i Saying. Last go, Kong Rong Has Dong.

[@DZ-1987]

Big Dong. And there's nothing Rong with that.

[@jonhillman871]

after this series ends can you do another Total War: Three Kingdoms series. this is a really good game with a lot of content to show and your enthusiasm for 3 kingdoms really makes this a really good show.

[@Gigas0101]

Cao Cao and Liu Bei are amazing foils in Romance o' the Three Kingdoms. Both perform meritorious actions but have wildly different intentions, both go to similar lengths for similar goals, both are shown to equally hold each other in contempt but also in high regards. It's amazing if you can get use to the literary style.

[@reazonozaer]

I really feel like Jon was challenging himself to see just how many times he could say Dong legitimately.

[@Foxtrot369]

38:54 - _"Zhang Fei meanwhile, the Legendary 'Drunken Brawler' oh he's going to be great, as soon as he finds an enemy, he is gonna murder the hell out of them"_ Something about you saying that while he was just running by himself along an empty battlement, made it seem as though he'd managed to get lost and was ready to take his frustration out on the first person he came across. XD

[@sebf1249]

You’re the only Three Kingdoms playthrough I watch! Keep them coming

[@philgan9911]

wow you know the characters quite well. Yes that makes the game more interesting

[@maxfieldjoyner5244]

The city is battered because of the seige you put it through.

[@anguswilson6234]

I wouldn't have even watched this normally but when the notification came up... that title man, I just had to see it.

[@j.murphy4884]

Honestly I watch every youtuber's LP of this game just to see how they react to the immense amount of Dong.

[@calumable]

J. Murphy Jon is definitely one of the bigger fans of the dong

[@dustin4926]

I need this series injected straight into my veins.

[@SunSwipePrime]

There's so much dong in this episode there's enough to make a wall, the Great Wall of Dong made by Kong Rong. The world will marvel at the wall and wonder how such a great feat could be built so fast. Little do they know. The secret is to whisper to the people of Dong and stroke their heads gently, telling them they are good people, kind people, large people of great fortitude and stamina. Tell this to them enough and one will witness and see men coming from Dong, all bulging and surging with the blood of a hundred thousand, eager to prove Dong's superiority. They will work long and hard thrusting with shovels into the moist earth to erect the wall, a great monument in the name of Dong. All shall kneel before Dong.

[@fuhrab]

The cadence and tone of your voice made it really easy to imagine the huge smile on your face as you signed that coalition pact and then went back in for Dong. Well done, sir!

[@polishenglish8356]

15 minutes in and Jon starts talking about dongs :D It will be a naugty episode I feel :D

[@DZ-1987]

As hard as the French were During the Battle of Agincourt.

[@JinTrixx5291]

Best series on youtube, loving these, keep up the good work Jon :)

[@JoshuaKevinPerry]

In Liu of peace, I could Han-dle more Kongquest

[@DZ-1987]

Sir Joshua. I'm quite proud to say i Parried your jokes nicely. Parried=Perry

[@JoshuaKevinPerry]

@@DZ-1987 When you explain it, it loses the zing of punditry.

[@DZ-1987]

Yes, i know, but there are people who simply don't get it. Did you at least smirk before reading the last bit?

[@JoshuaKevinPerry]

@@DZ-1987 no. Sorry.

[@DZ-1987]

Mm. Shame.

[@Ringlord7]

When you just want to sleep but then Jon uploads a total war video. Sad/Happyness

[@MillzySawUs]

I just need Jon to upload more three kingdom videos. I am addicted to this game and the footage he provides!

[@Nickunparalleled]

No one: Me: Yes, I've been refreshing this damn page for 10 minutes because this is literally one of the most exciting things of this week. You happy? You wanted to hear me say it? Fine, I said it. (breaths).

[@Jayfive276]

What the hell are you on about? Why did you have to say that in the form of that stupid meme?

[@dio2420]

No one: Nick Christie:

[@DZ-1987]

Still don't get this meme.

[@80ki68]

@@DZ-1987 What's dumb is that the "No one:" bit is supposed to convey that nobody is saying anything, but it actually says by the laws of fucking logic that there is not a single person who isn't saying something.

[@METALFREAK03]

@@80ki68 No one Me: And, the white knight is talking backwards, and the red queen's off her head. You: REMEMBER! What the doormouse said!!! Together: FEED YOUR HEAD!!!

[@iamnotalpharius]

The diolauge between the two generals, at 34:57 , is a reference to the old Disney movie "The road to El Dorado".

[@tacticalnuke5673]

John, keep an eye on the shattered Phrygia in Imperator Rome! In couple of nights ago I had a dream where, despite having a smaller number of cohorts and territory compared to the rebellion, they began to seize territory off of the revolutionary Phrygia in the northern most piece of the torn-in-two area of what was once the Phrygian mainland. Although it might just as well be a dream, the chances of it actually occurring in-game is possible.

[@monoboy81]

Jon I love this so much, please carry this series on!!

[@davidwidner8258]

"I must get to Dong first" *Immediately asks for help from the guy he was racing there.*

[@ruhruhmero1330]

my favorite series right now. i want more!

[@penthief83]

I've been legit waiting for this video all week!!

[@TripletheCheese]

I swear, this is basically single player shoutcasting

[@paulschumacher4308]

I thought I was going to be able to resist this game but thanks to you I know I'm going to buy it.

[@jasonyang5413]

14:10 the wall is already destroyed because of siege escalation. The longer you siege a town for, the more wrecked their walls will be when you attack.

[@lithiumvids9448]

**insert dong joke**

[@80ki68]

Wrong dong.

[@DZ-1987]

Kim Long Dong. A legitimate name.

[@Владимир-л1ц9о]

Wow man we need more! I'm simply dying while waiting for Kong Rong and his friends.

[@Presario3440]

Enjoy your video from three kingdoms. Please continue the production :D

[@HaixThePro]

47:05 "Cao Cao's a dick" Says Kong Rong, the ruler of Dong

[@charleyellis2251]

Really like the new series on my toes for next part.

[@DorfVG]

I DROPPED EVERYTHING AS SOON AS I REALISED THIS VIDEO WAS UP YES!!!!!

[@Jawhosimawhatsit]

After taking the city, do you think... Kong Rong rung Dong's gong?

[@DZ-1987]

Fuck you, Fuck your life, Fuck your soul. For it is the best thing I've ever heard today.

[@iPhoneeditor]

"I want to have Dong for myself." Oh boy this province name is going to make for so many hilarious quotes.

[@SuperJay23]

Its nice for a change to see jon's Faction is considered "trustworthy" The Medieval II Denmark play through was flagged "untrustworthy"

[@DZ-1987]

I think its impossible to be considered trustworthy in Medieval 2. LIke, in my Teutonic campaign, i'm just betrayed left and right, and yet i'm considered untrustworthy. Thank the black cross for my Knight brothers (RitterBrüdder) because without them, i might consider that run shortlived, like the knights Templar. Haha.

[@JustinCirillo89]

Jon in RTW - Create one unit armies to mess up your Roman allies when they try to siege a city so that they screw themselves over Jon in TW3K - Convince an ally to do most of the heavy-lifiting while you siege a city and take the city for yourself

[@ochlin5290]

"Dong is now a lot harder to knock down" - Jon, 2019

[@2d20kobolds3]

Finally, I've been waiting for this.

[@ruhruhmero1330]

34:15 what is this tomfoolery I hear? Does Jon pretend that a wimpy little catapult can match the superior siege engine?

[@greenguy1408]

omg man xD Best Murder Friends Forever....sooo good. Love this playthrough

[@chasesheldon2080]

Jon, please use fire on the towers! It will make everything so much easier. Two trebuchet flaming shots can take down towers.

[@rolland890]

I like the series, keep it up, this is top notch

[@unlivethesystem8634]

I was waiting for this vid! Keep it up, very nice game!

[@redlion145]

Aye, video title got a subscribe from me. I shouldn't be a child, but sometimes, I giggle. And I like it. Hadn't really watched before the release of Imperator Rome, but I like how you personalize your campaigns with a bit of history. Makes for a longer video and (I suspect) a longer wait between uploads, but that's alright for quality content.

[@suborbitalprocess]

Jon wants Dong very badly

[@Danzyao]

Dong Min's negotiation skills are way down the shitter. I feel quite sad for the people of his faction; at least they can put their trust in Kong liberating them from being under the rule of a complete moron.

[@DirEnGay]

With Cao Cao I played mega aggressive and owned the world. With Kong Rong from what I've seen on these videos is I want to corner myself off with allies surrounding my border and just work on building up my cities, and then eventually when the Emperor seats open I can cross my allies territory to each of the 3 cities and own them. That's my gameplan at least. I hope it works. I had a bad experience with allies in my Cao Cao playthrough as they just forced me into wars and got mad at me for declining.

[@zdinc7268]

Guan Yu isnt just nicknamed a god of war, in chinese mythology he LITERALLY BECAME A GOD OF WAR

[@danieljohnson2131]

this is my favorite series, I hate that you only bring out episodes twice a week.

[@SanguinaryRain]

Dong means north in chinese if anyone’s wondering

[@TheLanguageSponge]

Just so you know, it doesn’t. Dong 东 means ‘East’. 北 ‘bei’ means north. As in 北京 Beijing, the Northern Capital.

[@casswedson2892]

This is the sexy content I suscribed for.

[@tjmurphy4015]

Need to do these vids more often

[@Sleepless493]

I about lost it when he said let's talk about Dong.

[@comyuse9103]

jon, guan yu isn't nicknamed the god of war, he is the god of war. he is worshiped in multiple religions.

[@DZ-1987]

Damn it Jon, i want to see the Trebuchets fire.

[@DHunt88]

Shu ftw. Always my go to faction when playing anything involving the Three Kingdoms.

[@yeahhbuddy3932]

1 hour video! Ive had enough DONG for today.

[@Tookashet]

When Bei forms a coalition with u

[@harmacist6623]

*"Now, let's talk about DONG!"* O lawd I'm laffin'

[@Learnos1]

"I don't want him to have Dong. I want to have Dong for myself. How could I potentially get Dong for myself?"

[@shinra6913]

Am i the only one that really likes Cao Cao in most things he's portrayed in? i mean he has Xiahou Dun who i would argue is one of the biggest badasses of the whole three kingdoms story. :D

[@DorfVG]

did you say you liked catapults better than trebuchets? THIS IS HERESY!

[@Ledrang]

I think Dong I mean Jon needs a lesson on friendship because I don't think Dong quite gets how it works seeing as he lets them do everything, also nice to know that you really wanted Jon, Dong. 😂

[@CMUHW]

Tao is pronounced as in 'Taoism' Qian is pronounced more or less like 'Chee-An', but as 1 syllable instead of 2

[@steepo101]

Was that a Road to El Dorado reference at around the 35 minute mark?

[@Vermbraunt]

Them arrow trails...

[@starkillerthatoneguy6128]

Love this series

[@BlueDragon257257]

Am I the only one that loves Cao Cao?

[@DZ-1987]

I'll dip you in some if you wish? (In the Philippine language, one of them anyway, the word for dip is saw saw, pronounced exactly like (How Jon says it anyway) Cao Cao. Just said it so you'd get what i mean)

[@OsidiustheEmphatic]

The lengths this man will go to for dong.

[@emiledlund9559]

When catapult fired I was half expecting the enemies to be thrown aside and get back up. I play too much fantasy

[@jacksonbermingham2168]

when wang xiu face changed when assigning devent attendant

[@srgforge2993]

A cruel pacifict. Now i've seen everything

[@cory6266]

"Guan Yu will murder anybody!" Bruh let me tell you about Lu Bu. To put it in a context you're familiar with, Guan Yu is Prince Hector, but Lu Bu is Achilles.

[@DZ-1987]

So, if i remember correctly, Sir Hector kills Achilles? No, i'm wrong... Or am i?

[@HRPufnsting]

@@DZ-1987 Paris kills Achilles.

[@hoodie4439]

Ah finally my por- i mean a third episode is uploaded

[@austincantswim3383]

I’m mean, there is the title. So it counts.

[@javiercs006]

Others have their smut. We have a game about Chinese history played by a classics major.

[@Crypto_Lan]

Kong Rong, Liu Bei, and Te Qian are allies in the romance of the three kingdoms if I'm not mistaken

[@imtootiredforthis7694]

Thank you so much for this title Jon. I was on Facebook and there was a "the last thing you watched is the name of your sex life".

[@thfab4831]

I cant wait for when Kong Rong becomes king :D

[@jejeakle]

I love MATN’s comment section

[@hugmonger]

Oh cool we got that Kong Rong Dong

[@alexali3589]

In this episode Liu Bei helps Jon take Dong. the city.

[@marshie1337]

lol i love listening to you give orders to your subordinates, lol you'd be a rough boss i feel like no offense

[@kiarancarlile5175]

The siege affects the city so if you siege long enough it’ll weaken the town

[@irtifairshad2646]

I'm amazed why you haven't reached a million subs....More so not 10 mil...

[@trashpandapaladin8989]

For some reason, I remember there being a person in this era named Dong Rong, but I guess I was wrong about that Dong.

[@RexTheAlbinoGecko]

*Rong about that Dong

[@tactictoe]

It's all gone Kong Rong.

[@jackbowes3700]

I would like a bit of Dong too