Mark Kermode - Bad movies competition

[@sternchild]

Simon: 'Battlefield Earth' Mark: 'Have you seen the directors cut' Simon: 'Of course not'

[@lukedoyle2770]

Green Street absolutely did have one redeeming feature- Charlie Hunnam’s accent was fucking hilarious

[@jasrust]

'He's not a fackin' journo!'

[@AJARyan-yn2uv]

But the worst movie I actually have seen is The Legend of the Titanic, a movie so disrespectful that it blatantly states at the beginning that nobody was killed the night the ship sunk. It also has a plot where the main character obtains the ability to talk to animals because one of her tears landed on a dolphin, who merged the tear with magic it somehow got from the moon.

[@nifralo2752]

+Andrew Ryan With a giant octopus saving everyone at the end?

[@AJARyan-yn2uv]

Toad Lash Yep. That's the one.

[@CJODell12]

The sequel to this film (the one with the rapping dog and the Mexican mice) was actually LESS offensive and closer to the real story than the original

[@thecinematicmind]

AJA Ryan1994 Agreed!

[@TheEntity0]

Guess I know what I'm doing tonight...

[@kennethmccrindle6972]

Revenge of the Fallen, Walked out of it atrocious

[@raisedonpopcornwithgrant9670]

“i know what you did last supper” is one of the funniest one-liners i have heard “snow dad’s better than no dad” is a close second

[@lindateitelbaum1334]

I'm relieved to hear Jack mentioned. Easily the worst movie I've ever seen. It is repugnant, vile misery porn which manages the hard task of being both utterly miserable and utterly preposterous. It has as much class and merit as an exploitation film, which it kind of is. A family film exploitation movie. Just the worst the I've ever seen.

[@greengunner4749]

I have a soft spot for Green Street I first saw it when I was 18 and I liked it.

[@TheDriller-Killer]

Didn't mind The Football Factory either. Can also recommend I. D. and The Firm (The original not the remake)

[@TheValeyard92]

I'm surprised they were allowed to say the word "baise" by the producers... particularly given that they were only allowed to say "Inglourious Basterds" once. I'm also surprised that nobody mentioned any of the thousands of those vile "parody" films like Epic Movie.

[@VarietyVideoGamer]

TheValeyard92 The English public would not have taken nearly as much offense to the word "baise" as they would have "basterds (even if it is spelled incorrectly)" because "baise moi" isn't really known by anyone and British people wouldn't have known what "baise" meant anyway.

[@TheValeyard92]

VarietyVideoGamer Mmmm. I suppose that is true. Then again, there was another occasion where Mark was pretty coy about saying the word "quim", which is also something that not a lot of people would get.

[@adriancronin533]

I think 'Baise' more readily translates as 'rape' rather than the f-bomb itself.

[@bolshevi3187]

cat in the hat - that film hurt

[@martinmcniffe]

The only film I hate more than The Cat in the Hat is Foodfight.

[@Anton-wk8lv]

The person who suggested Bullers over Broadway needs a psychiatric evaluation.

[@johncody6404]

Dude Where's My Car. Oh dear

[@MegaIkedog]

It's a pretty stupid film, but still funny!

[@johncody6404]

@@MegaIkedog To be fair, it's definitely not the worst, I think I just found it irritating as I have a friend who insists it's the best film in the world.

[@rossprior]

Kermode sounds like Chris Morris here.

[@livinginvancouverbc2247]

"White Chicks" by the Wayans Brothers.

[@calummacdonald6115]

LivingInVancouverBC oh god, I'm still trying to exorcise that pile of crap from my fragile mind

[@garysiddons2157]

One of the shittist films ever

[@anthonybradley1555]

they should do a small segment each week reviewing one or two classic movies to mix things up for example a movie celebrating an anniversary, but maybe its just me wanting to hear sex lives of the potato men being roasted once again.

[@JackTonyMontorrence]

Maybe it's not the worst film ever, but if you narrow down the category to American popcorn comedies then Paul Blart:Mall Cop tops the list.

[@themoops811]

Jaws 3D has a brilliant score

[@WAAAAAAAAAAAY]

"Snow dad's better than no dad" :)

[@josephgarvin3998]

The Cell has one (1) redeeming feature - the costumes, by Eiko Ishioka.

[@lennartmeyerstenfjeld9473]

You don't think the costumes made The Cell even more pretentious and superficial than it already was?

[@somberlight]

***** on the ending third? oh lord yes. still, the first scene in the kids head? made sense. not perfect sense, but enough sense to qualify as a redeeming feature. imo.

[@cygil1]

Joseph Garvin It rips off some rather good art by Damien Hirst. (I don't believed they paid him, though.)

[@nicholasholder6925]

The garbage pail kids movie is, by far, the worst movie I've ever seen.

[@jimmypadilla3441]

Certainly the ugliest movie I've ever seen

[@blokey8]

@badhead do you have any way of getting the Attack of the Clones review? I know we'll be treated to one of the 3D rerelease, but the more rants the better.

[@squamish4244]

The Expendables - absolutely horrendous unintentional parody of action films with old guys running around looking for their Depends.

[@3george7]

Someone please introduce Mark to 'The Room'. XD

[@badhead]

they only started to do podcasts in 2005. Long after AOTC came out

[@W00DSMAN]

The films of Richard Driscoll are truly the worst things anyone could ever see. I wont even name the films here as I don't wish anyone to investigate further. They are truly awful and they will kill a part of you.

[@dontmakelemonade]

S.Darko enough said.

[@EdPlays1997]

When was this recorded?

[@Jordannadroj20]

Couple years ago

[@henman09]

The Room.

[@jd899]

Some good choices

[@LoN3wOlF5tudi0s]

Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, Santa With Muscles, Jurassic Park 3, Batman and Robin, Billy Madison.

[@jd899]

Interesting choices

[@UKNOWIT88]

The Cell? Really? Visually awesome

[@christhomas9221]

anyone else think green street is a british cult hit?

[@Nathan-hk3dk]

Hahahahaahahahahaahahaha

[@Slowburn_-lk4oh]

Your right but it was never gonna be a film critics like

[@randomsamno9]

A lot of these are pretty well known bad movies, if you really want to discover films with utterly no attempt at any merit have a look at some of the Cinema Snob reviews or even Red Letter Media's Best of the Worst. Some funny gems in those reviews but ultimately just an awful lot of dreadful straight to VHS kind of things.

[@ChernovFan100]

So what ones have you seen? Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction and Django Unchained are amazing. Jackie Brown is good, Death Proof sucked (apart from the awesome car crash scene in the middle) and Kill Bill was decent.

[@TheHitherto]

I can't agree with Mark about Baise-Moi being "terrific", but I recently watched it a second time and it wasn't as completely unwatchable as I remember it. Glad to se Jack being brought up. That was truly an abomination. I kinda liked The Cell. Zero substance, but lots of nice things to look at. Several movies can't even get that right.

[@dennett316]

A recent addition....The Boy. The ending "twist" had the entire audience laughing their heads off. It ruins all that came before it in the movie - and that was B level haunted doll shlock. Unbelievably, laughably terrible.

[@DT-ml3hf]

When I was visiting Indonesia, I came across a bootleg move titled Titanic 2. It was set 1000 yrs after the events of Titanic where they make a replica of the original ship, yet it looked like it still set in current day. It was all green screen and the actors all looked like former porn stars. I kept on thinking a raunchy sex scene was gonna break out but it was straight the whole way. Quite a remarkable piece of garbage lol

[@lw3646]

The Haunting of Sharon Tate. Birdemic. The Exorcist II The Swarm Supergirl Mac and Me Sheena When Time Ran Out Anaconda Batman and Robin Freddy's Dead Leprechaun in Space Shakma The Wild West Halloween Resurrection I know who killed me The House of the Dead Red Tails Food fight The 5th Wave The Bye Bye Man

[@undesirablenumber1]

Did he just say "3D is alright"? :O

[@Goochbot]

New Years Eve

[@waynedoyle5584]

" dirty grandpa " ....wtf ????.... de niro....WHY ????

[@kennethmccrindle8886]

Hellboy 2019 Highlander II Theatrical version Max Steel Gotti Jaws the Revenge Mac and Me Return to the Blue Lagoon United Passions (a movie so bad the Guardian called it Cinematic Excrement) Cats Superman IV the Quest for Peace Jack and Jill the two Grown Ups films 47 Ronin Inchon Bio Dome Jury Duty The Mummy with Tom Cruise The Emoji Movie

[@Tisply25]

You know what movie that people say is bad, but i really love? Steven Spielberg's 1941. Have you ever seen it?

[@kennethmccrindle8886]

@@Tisply25 I have seen it and i really liked it. not quite Spielberg's worst, that honour goes to Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the crystal Skull

[@EagleEyedViewer96]

Any Seltzerberg film or Keith Lemon: The Film.

[@TheAsherLasher]

What no. do they talk about white chicks?

[@DoncoEntAgain]

I saw a small Japanese film in 2014 that would absolutely fit the bill. It was called Why Don't You Play In Hell? and it is the worst film I've ever seen. Nonstop, mind-numbing violence made by people who wish they were Tarantino but clearly have no talent. It also has some of the most excruciating acting I've ever seen, with every character screaming at the top of their lungs right into the camera. An utterly miserable cinematic experience.

[@silobandnj3967]

Funnily enough the director of that film has made some really prestigious films like “suicide club” and “love exposure”

[@thejoker0123]

movie 43

[@paulhudson563]

A list like this is down to opinion. If you don't agree, you are not putting it on the list. It's not your list

[@suth2984]

Battlefield Earth is without doubt the worst film ever made. As a Sci-Fi obsessed 13 year old, my older brother (who saw it before i did) described this film to me as " the kind of film that makes sci-fi fans ashamed of admitting to being a sci-fi fan"

[@vorjay]

ps Wonder Showzen is lesser Trey Park and Matt Stone.

[@samturver2880]

*equestria

[@bobleroe3859]

Disney's The Black Hole. Dreadful.

[@EuphrasieF]

Some scenes were a bit cheesy, and I imagine if you're British her accent sounded bad, but I wouldn't say it's the worst movie ever.

[@StickyManMaxxx]

that film wit linsay lohan where she plays an american kid and an english kid. AWFUL

[@halkitchen1838]

Hobo with a Shotgun is my go-to answer for the worst film I've ever seen

[@stephencampbell2115]

I hated hobo with a shotgun it was just awful awful stuff

[@Optics2024]

Gladiator? Wow really? Whoever sent that in has terrible taste in terrible movies.

[@nikosvault]

It's a guilty pleasure for sure. But it's still dressed up macho revenge porn.

[@michellegermaine7051]

The only film I walked out of was the Chronicles of Narnia: Price Caspian. Even the kids hated it. Rubbish. Worst film I watched at home was Solaris. Awful.

[@AbbeyNO]

Grown Ups was horrible

[@terratrema]

Attack of the Clones has Natalie Portman's bare midriff, so it's not a total waste. But close. I'd nominate muh-fuckin' Ali G in da House and Funny People. The only two movies I've ever walked out of. And I'll never, ever walk back in.

[@FCD844]

Annoyingly if the film, the cell, had someone else, not j-lo, it would of been alright.

[@VarietyVideoGamer]

Worst film I've ever seen is "bad grandpa". Nothing good about it at all.

[@vorjay]

I said Trey Park and Matt Stone. Some of there work on South Park. Quest for Ratings, pray the gay away, You Have 0 Friends , oh and lets talk "With Apologies to Jessie Jackson" episode, etc. The Book of Mormon Team America World Police

[@nlole]

The Last Jedi

[@benkylo8015]

Worst film ever goes to batman and Robin.

[@somberlight]

Ben Hibburd that's light. they saved hitlers brain is worse

[@AlexaExtraordinaire]

I walked out of Pirates Of The Caribbean, the first film. I hated every second of it and could barely endure 15 minutes of it until I stormed out of the theater. A bigger pile of smelling crap is hard to come by and I never want to see it again.

[@gamleskalle1]

U fail in life

[@johnPaul-qn3dg]

Pirahna 3D Jesus I paid into see that total utter and utter crap, their is NOTHING redeeming in that film and they did spend a lot of money on it.

[@ChernovFan100]

That zombie film set in the casino "Remains" was absolutely dire. The acting was genuinely god-awful. I think I enjoyed Rec 2 more than it and the teenagers in that film are unbelievably annoying.

[@vorjay]

dude you called Pulp Fiction and The Book of Mormon garbage. You also choose a third rate program like Wonder Showzen over South Park. I bet you think it's better than Monty Python and This is Spinal Tap too. You are utterly failing!

[@truBador2]

Borat.

[@somberlight]

truBador2 borat makes sense up to certain extent (awkward-porn), but if you want a bad one from that guy, i'd go with his Bruno. jeez.

[@Sock1294]

Battleship, total pointless drivel that no one ever asked for staring people who no one wanted to see act.

[@TheDensley7]

" Jaws 3 w2as alright, well, it was rubbish". This is the sort of thing I love Kermode for.

[@TheGamanic]

Birdemic: Shock and Terror is without doubt the most utterly inept movie I have seen. It fails in every department; acting, script, direction, sound etc, it is just a horror.

[@danieltester5897]

Throwback to when Simon Mayo bothered to contribute to the discussion.

[@venicebeachsportsnetwork6677]

Is he lazy now?

[@SecondQuantisation]

6:11 "Full frontal I'll give you". No Mark! My eyes, the goggles do nothing! Oh.... you mean the film.....

[@newaccountforfilms]

Cool as Ice, Rebel without a cause remade for the 90's with Vanilla Ice starring.

[@kennethmccrindle6972]

Battlefield earth was the first film I ever walked out of

[@heatrayzvideo3007]

House of the Dead - the only film i walked out of, I could not take anymore!! Thankfully it was at a film festival so I just killed time till the next film. It may be bad form to mention a Troma movie but I married a Vampire - has no redeeming features!

[@razaa09]

Gladiator was an amazing movie.

[@vorjay]

no...actually I was referring to the way you referenced it. Crime satire and Black humor is what I was referring to. Goodfellas and Pulp fiction are A+ examples. Pulp Fiction takes the stories from the black mask magazine and other pulp magazines and the works of great crime films, The Killing(Kubrick), Breathless (Godard), Goodfellas (Scorsese), and turns it mixes it into a blender. The Boxer, The Dame, The briefcase, Drugs, and Redemption. If you can't appreciate it, that's your problem!

[@EdPlays1997]

I'm not the biggest fan of Gladiator but I wouldn't go as far to say that it had no redeeming features.

[@textthing]

Still, I can't believe how much it's been over-praised. It is not even a good film.

[@BigDaddyZakk420]

textthing I agree, I have no idea why so many people love it so much. I mean, i don't think it's not a *bad* film, but it's really not good either.

[@PauLtus_B]

textthing I believe it's good, just good.

[@Mardenski100]

The only issue I have with Gladiator is that it takes every aspect of historical fact and throws it all in the bin

[@bevbo42]

Mardenski P the thing is, it's a film, not a documentary

[@blokey8]

The only reason I rank Revenge of the Sith higher than Attack of the Clones was because whiny Skywalker finally gets boiled.

[@neilevans8204]

"Heaven's Gate". GET ON WITH IT!!!!!

[@robertmcelwaine7024]

Ok, here's one that I think it's safe to say has no redeeming features and earned itself a 0% score from critics on Rotten Tomatoes because it's that bad: Police Academy: Mission to Moscow.

[@SuperThumpasaurus]

Troll 2, Manos Hands of Fate, Waterworld, Batman & Robin, and Battlefield Earth.

[@MagnificentFiend]

SuperThumpasaurus _Waterworld_ is half a decent movie. The rest are too funny to be irredeemable.

[@EuphrasieF]

The Nostril-Picker? Is that a real movie? Off to IMDB.

[@stevemodeen]

Haha I enjoy his reviews more than half of the movies he is reviewing! Love the good doctor - LegEnd

[@sebulon1985]

The Last Airbender is the most poorly directed, inept major potion picture I've ever seen

[@seamusburke639]

I remember one of the original storyboard artists from the show talked about how incompetent the framing of shots was, even without comparing it to the original show. Like that scene with the servant girl giving the foot massage! Did M. Night really need to "reveal" her as he did?? What was that about??

[@thecinematicmind]

Film Socialisme.

[@luismgoncalves]

Well Little Man and Son of the mask come to mind, both horrible and nothing good about them really

[@potterpotty01]

micheal bay's.......fill in the blank

[@Jimbo8012]

Worst films I've ever seen are: Death Proof; xXx; Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen; Blair Witch Project; 8 Heads in a Duffel Bag; The Business; Run For Your Wife; Sex & The City; Batman & Robin; Gangster No. 1; Essex Boys; Nativity 3: Dude, Where's My Donkey? Nativity 2: Danger in the Manger Highlander 2: The Quickening; Highlander: The Source. None of these films have any redeeming features whatsoever.

[@billymabum3514]

The Blair which project is pretty good

[@silobandnj3967]

6:14 can someone write out the movie he is talking about I can’t understand the name or language …”bess maur”?

[@videohits4ever432]

Baise-Moi a french film from 2000

[@playthatfunkymusicrobot]

Movie 43. Jail for all involved

[@UltRCharlesFoster]

The worst movie of all time is After Last Season.

[@guitarreilly]

green street was a comedy i thought the accents were hilarious it should have had a laughter track every time frodo was on screen

[@neilevans8204]

"Love, Honor And Obey". Absolutely no redeeming features whatsoever!

[@wozzywick]

Attack of the Clones is one of my favourite Star Wars movies!

[@jamesblames2]

I walked out of The Cell as well..........and Boxing Helena was atrocious

[@leumasnonnahs348]

Nostalgia critic needs to listen to Mark kermode

[@billymabum3514]

Green street was brilliant

[@KSRugby]

redeeming features of attack of the clones: Part of a bigger story? possibly with the clone troops joining the republic and palpatine's emergency powers (Though how he got them was an utter farce), and the obi-won vs jango fett fight on kamino was cool, but the horrible writing of the love story was cringing n insurmountable to me.