Matteo Lane - British Dirty Talk

[@matteolanecomedy]

See you next week Atlanta, Cincinnati, and Cleveland!! Tickets here: matteolanecomedy.com/

[@kylelee9420]

Love your Australian accent

[@thealione]

5mn 40 "She's going straight to hell">>>DO you think gay people go "Straight" to hell? 🤣🤣🤣

[@catlee8064]

You need to get your arse over to the UK mate, do the Edinburgh festival....you would crush it.

[@mizsab365]

when are you coming to the UK?

[@TheZekedurham]

Soooooo.....you're a touring artist?

[@sapphiiee]

Coley, he's a gentleman in the streets and a freak in the sheets. What more could you ask for 😂

[@elsagreen1476]

Literally

[@LeBlondReroots]

I can vouch for that been with a Brit for nearly for years! LOL

[@beejuice7972]

It seems the implication would be... if he was an asshole was treated her poorly, this would be more consistent (in her mind) in the bedroom and wouldn't "take her out of it" and the sex would be better. Matteo is right. WHAT DO THEY WANT!?

[@philbleach8252]

Apparently money sadly!

[@kbhprinsesse]

How about someone who hasn't been brainwashed by porn into seeing abusive behaviour as sexually exciting?

[@Smoof29]

he can't choke you at lunch 😂

[@najadahmer4862]

True tho! 😂

[@GK-up6xz]

Exactly 😂

[@ingloriousbetch4302]

With enough planning he can, tho. 💅

[@BreandanAnraoi]

Not with that attitude

[@callarati]

😂😂😂

[@SnickleFritzzzzzz]

Been on a binge of Matteo. The combos with Nick are saving my sanity while i sit in my cubicle lol

[@Ivanoverthere]

Christ what did u eat ahaha

[@OzmaOfOzz]

Those 2 have the best chemistry ever 😂 also look into Jessica Kierson. She and Matteo have a few clips together, and they're HYSTERICAL 😂😂😂

[@SnickleFritzzzzzz]

@@OzmaOfOzz I love Jessica!! The 3 of them together would be epic

[@TMish73829]

lol Matteo is the best! Nick isn’t my cup of tea, but he has some solid zingers!

[@OzmaOfOzz]

@@SnickleFritzzzzzz ❤️❤️❤️

[@Bluerider79]

“He’s from Texas.” 💀 And somehow it still makes sense.

[@travelchannel304]

Exactly. I'm in WV..totally git that! 😅😅

[@Bluerider79]

@@travelchannel304 I’m not far from you-same.

[@fvances]

christian texans are a whole denomination

[@coasternut3091]

Mormon - "we believe that when you die, you go to heaven and spend eternity with your whole family" Stephen Fry - "What happens if you've been good?"

[@ekdaufin1485]

😂

[@Guyonthecouch420]

Matteo is one of those comedians that make me want to binge watch their clips. he is hilarious 😂

[@gabrielncali8999]

Okay, hang on! The accents are the best! 🤣

[@lauren_WI]

@@gabrielncali8999agreed!!! He’s got a gold stand up based on his impromptu with the audience 👏 👏 👏

[@jessicabw]

How did Matteo immediately go into a bit about a British man with a foot fetish 😂😂😂

[@britaninicole]

It’s like this has happened to him 😂😂😂😂

[@LeBlondReroots]

It's not un common in Britain believe me!

[@VividIsSleeping]

:/

[@Simon-lt6fe]

​@navileblond9981 maybe not in your friend group 🙄

[@LeBlondReroots]

@@Simon-lt6fe 🙄🙄🙄✌

[@YesYouAreAbsolutelyCorrect]

This world needs a Matteo Lane Kiwi Special. The whole show in a NZ accent.

[@linden5165]

That was NOT a NZ accent. I don't know what it was 😂

[@Chrisnz12377]

It was pretty close, but the use of the C word is definitely Australian!

[@alamedadanceparty]

Deffo sounded Australian, but I loved it. 😂

[@YesYouAreAbsolutelyCorrect]

@@alamedadanceparty okay, let's have an Australian one, and TISM will be the soundtrack.

[@fatherburning358]

I'm a kiwi aussie. It was an aussie accent carnt

[@BouillaBased]

Every time someone tells me I'm going to hell, I say I'll meet them there, since it wouldn't be hell without them.

[@foxjacket]

😂😂😂 damn you're good

[@AD-jq7ow]

Yeah and say it: it wouldn’t be hell without you

[@BouillaBased]

@@AD-jq7ow Oh, I definitely do say it.

[@Desi-Designs]

Lady with the polite British boyfriend! Just flip your thinking around! When y'all are having dirty time~ just be like "Oh wow, my polite boyfriend can get SO DIRTY. He can be so bad when I need him to be, what else will he do 😳😳😳" and bam! It's hot as fire! My husband is the sweetest man you'll meet, but the thought of things he's capable of is like OH MY!

[@lajawi.]

Imagine just flipping the whole thing. They go shopping, and in the poshest voice he asks for help for a new T-Shirt or something, and then she suddenly remembers how bad he can be in bed.

[@Desi-Designs]

@@lajawi. (Fans self)

[@APG19912009]

@@Desi-Designs right?! People always comment to me how of a gentle giant teddy bear I am as a guy. But in the bedroom, I’m a nasty man! And while I haven’t found the one yet! The guys I have been with, always have said they love how sex positive I am! You do you! If it’s fun, and makes you happy! Do it!

[@ijustwannabehappier-v4973]

@@APG19912009 Sadly the sweet and gentle giants like you are always gay or bi with male preference and we have the useless stra8s.

[@MST3Kfan1]

Matteo is so hilarious 😂 he’s very clever and witty.

[@Guyonthecouch420]

I am a straight probably Republican guy. And anything with Matteo in it makes me want to check it out. He is fucking hilarious

[@jlshel42]

“What the f**k do women want?” Even the gays are asking, yall have to say SOMETHING

[@damaracarpenter8316]

the best thing about having a lovely british man talking dirty is that he's a lovely british man lol!

[@rsmith1820]

As a woman even I'M CONFUSED about what she wants 😮

[@sufyanlowel4631]

Because she thinks that sex is dirty thing but bf is so nice, she's can't combined these two things in her mind, it's not a rare problem.

[@AD-jq7ow]

He is so nice in life but in bed he is a beast and dominant So she finds it unsettling…

[@ManyArmedMooseDei]

As a non-binary, I haven’t the foggiest what straight women, and that one in particular, want. It’s rather a confusing situation.

[@lmcb8447]

Idk every person is different, obv including women too, maybe she's just not into dom men, some women aren't into that... Basically no group is a monolith 🤷

[@billwheeler1213]

As a man I am confused of what she wants,,, don't choke your partner, can't see that as sexy

[@BoredPandaNomNom]

If she doesn't want him, I'll take him. I'll take 100 of him 😂

[@OzmaOfOzz]

"You gotta leave him." 😂 Truer words have never been spoken 😂

[@josef2012]

"Anyone who says they're going to Heaven is the last person I want to spend Eternity with." 😂 Amen+Hallelujah 🙏💗

[@Kathy_1991]

Amen!

[@sweetypietwo]

Omg I will never get that voice out of my head 😂😂😂

[@aimsmazinspirit7182]

I absolutely love when he makes himself laugh

[@xenotiic8356]

4:27 OMG THAT RESPONSE, I ALMOST PASSED OUT LKMAOOOO

[@JDMimeTHEFIRST]

The first person is just describing a Dom. 😅. Yeah, respectful people can have dirty minds. It’s awesome

[@lurklingX]

the BEST crowdwork!!!!

[@Cygnusart0843]

8:13 I love how disappointed people sounded when he said his family was from Connecticut 😂

[@lunaldonate]

Istg the whole part with the british accent was pure gold. I love Matteo 🤣🤣

[@Zorbino88]

I've never heard of Matteo before tonight, and god damn I can't wait to watch everything available! It's been a while since I could say that about any performer or media outlet.

[@bilindalaw-morley161]

@0:10 Core memory unlocked for Matteo?

[@arisaunters2915]

As a Brit, the accent is so accurate 😭🤣

[@TheNicoliyah]

That impressed me too😂

[@D3DW1TCHCHIK]

"Oh they're Italian? GO ON"

[@kiwiguy72]

Matteo, as a Kiwi, I'm deeply offended by your attempt at a NZ accent, that was in fact Australian! 🤣

[@PersonWithStupid37]

You got to admit that there is a very fine distinction between those two that a foreigner might not know.

[@dean5422]

Wasn't even properly Australian. Sounded like his British man character doing an Australian accent lol

[@JuQui228]

He sounded like Rhys Darby to me so I don’t know how more accurate you wanted him to be 🤷‍♂️😆

[@mattcolins9264]

@@JuQui228 Why Darby doesnt have a typical kiwi accent - thats why he is 'funny' and 'weird' to us. He has a unusual voice, hence his 15 mins of fame

[@alyskabb]

Way too many vowels 😅

[@IkeCamron]

Matteo’s accents n impressions 😂….. he’s a goofball! 😂😂

[@mi-da2920]

51 seconds to a Matteo Lane video. Love it!

[@theromanshow]

Please, please please do Nick’s voice with the British accent of the dirty guy.

[@josef2012]

"When he's choking me out,I forget how nice he is."-Some broad 2024

[@cweretelnyk]

no, it was "he'll choke me out, and I'll remember how nice he is"

[@taxidancing87]

Wild times we're living in 😂

[@delsings]

Which would also work as a line from a serial killer documentary 😅

[@sopha4089]

calling a woman “some broad,” we’re getting a little too comfortable huh? 😬

[@kyleanuar9090]

Exactly like that book Shade of greys?

[@kromaveil]

If there is any comedian that will mention the illustrious Yma Sumac it is you Matteo! Malambo No. 1 is forever a classic.

[@jeffredfern3744]

"I've arrived!"

[@glittering_trash_]

I have never come across someone who can nail the New Zealand accent.... and I'm still waiting lol!

[@samsbin]

"You filthy top of the tea"

[@bea4156]

Please more Mateo British voice! 😂😂

[@gking407]

Matteo is such an amazing talent I hope he is around forever!!!

[@CoffeBuz]

We need you on a big show Matteo!!!!!!! You’re the new rising star!!!! I can’t waitttttt!!!

[@charlesb7019]

“Oh my dear fellow, I do believe I’m arriving…”

[@sarakatharina2928]

Brilliant as always ❤

[@zaccaustin]

"He's from Texas!" 💀

[@birgitpost3675]

Matteo is better with the advice than moms and grandmas!

[@birgitpost3675]

I love "this is the worst question ever!"

[@jonbettson7435]

Probs my fave stand up I’ve ever seen from you! I love you always, but that was outstanding. Maybe I’m more baked than usual? 😁❤️

[@thehealinghotspotjuliesund3601]

It’s exhausting to laugh so hard 😂❤❤❤❤❤

[@StinaB9]

He can’t choke you at lunch!! 🙄 YESSSSS, Matteo!!! 😂😂😂

[@keystolifemusicschool]

“I’m from Connecticut” “ohhh” 😂😂😂

[@aalihte3378]

*audible laughter* Matteo is the best

[@percivalyracanth1528]

Gay man realizing how glad he is to be gay Straight men in the audience realizing how much easier it'd be to be gay

[@sicknashty3837]

It really is easier, dudes know how dudes work

[@1jotun136]

gAyMEN

[@frcluc]

I had the same thoughts!

[@georggswan8133]

Matto love u excellent comedy ! U r the best

[@jimmy_bby]

as a British guy, I disagree with you the British accent can be sexy as hell for dirty talk

[@baklazha]

Did any woman said that to you or do you find it this way cause you had a British boyfriend?

[@jimmy_bby]

@@baklazha my ex boyfriend said my voice was pretty nice in that context

[@ManyArmedMooseDei]

As an enby with an English accent that makes me sound like a superhero movie villain when I talk lewdly, I concur. Having “dead eyes” certainly adds to the effect. It adds a whole new meaning to “bad” in that context.

[@baklazha]

@@ManyArmedMooseDeigiving how you talk it feels like you’re a teenage girl who read too many fanfics then someone this question was addressed to (a male)

[@annhedges4243]

As a British woman, l wholeheartedly agree. 😂

[@masonedwards]

Matteo…that wasn’t a Kiwi accent. It was Aussie, all the way! 😂

[@selam1353]

Terrible questions 😂but he did amazing

[@myboibill]

Well it is quite clear that you have not lost your magic touch. I am always super delighted when it’s not a short video on KZbin. Tonight you were especially funny but Mary also had that I love it when you and Nick are together and I look forward to those videos. Don’t say it I really do have a life that I watch before I go to sleep. One of these days I’ll catch you in person. You girls girls

[@ActualChef]

Matteo Lane is officially the funniest comedian on KZbin.

[@MoniqueLa.93]

Quante lacrime 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂adorooooo 🫶🏼❤️

[@frumpypigskin8009]

In the uk we don't come we arrive.

[@CasualViewer768]

Coley, on behalf of British women, PLEASE SEND HIM BACK 😂

[@melizab2424]

Dr. Mateo!🧐🥸💙

[@NelliSmith]

According to book talk, this bish is living the dream.

[@BruinPhD2009]

Right? Exactly what was her problem?

[@taotuber]

6:46 I never heard this accent?? Im from spain so i'm so unsure but I love it

[@williamevans9426]

Wonderful ... and a passing reference to Yma Sumac, too. (You must be a true music afficionado!)

[@willie3262]

When he does the New Zealand dirty talk, I have to picture Rhys Darby saying it all.

[@Autumnrainz69]

Not him becoming Rhys Nicholson with the NZ accent 🤣

[@SilverDomUK]

They want it all Matteo! They want it all!

[@ReallyBama]

You com tease. I want to hear the Italian jokes at the end!

[@achillesakanga117]

Same I'm even more invested. Release the special

[@lavenderrose2139]

The accent made me Die 😂😂😂😂😂

[@williambunce241]

I'm. From UK (Wales ) absolutely love matteo can't wait to see his shows btw in uk we say cunt with a K lol 😂I told were posh 😂🤣😂🤣

[@becky2235]

Another Welshie 👋 I've only just discovered this guy any recommendations? Thanks!

[@UgoRosano-v8s]

He can’t choke you at lunch 😂😂😂😂😂

[@chriswarzenski8652]

Please come back to Springfield MA. !!!!

[@aishajimenez137]

Omg.. this is giving Johnny Depp as Mordecai 😂

[@maryannejcarey5876]

coley was trying to find someone to tell her to dump him

[@jesshollowaydyker5]

When are you coming to the UK? I would ❤ to see you do an advice special here.

[@BcBaxley]

My Man 😂😂🤣🤣

[@The_Super_NOVA]

With that accent, he belongs in a black and white era WW2 movie.

[@JackBlackNinja]

More!!

[@clararob9869]

His English accent is amazing 😂😂😂 from a brit ❤

[@natalieLeeLee444]

I LOVE Yma Sumac!❤

[@goody5544]

you sir are hilarious

[@teresasavi8821]

Matteo’s New Zealand voice reminded me of Damien Power (comedian from down under in more ways than one 😉)

[@lumiao1685]

I'm a British woman but didn't date any British men for 7 years because I lived abroad and THIS! I was so surprised at all the dirtiness and naughtiness coming out in the bedroom with all these affable middle class English gentlemen! Not complaining but it's quite funny when people with this accent talk dirty, a part of me can never take it totally seriously.

[@willvr4]

Matteo handled that weird crowd so well. Only the first question was fun/funny and the others just sucked the air out of the room.

[@Diana02400]

I think he added to the boredom of the second question by complaining about how boring it was. He could have just made a quick joke and move on :/

[@SiunneDragon]

Love the fact that he mention Ima Sumac ❤

[@jonldn]

Yma Sumac

[@alfredbonnabel7022]

LOLZ...😅😂

[@DeanLafitte]

your new zealand is my absolute favourite 😹😭💀

[@kirang9759]

His New Zealand sounds like Australian 😂. So funny though

[@sogolbahremand688]

When is the full version being released? Can’t wait!

[@thisisbgm]

Honestly, I feel like “he’s from Texas” is all the clarification I needed on what type of Christian he is 😂

[@distructerdistrorer6328]

He really does nail the Freddy Mercury voice!

[@BigMuff75]

The first lady totally sounds like Dawn Wong - and her husband is indeed british!

[@SarahRNeill]

Coley, if you don’t want him, ship him to Texas for me.

[@fantasticfreddie]

Yma Sumac mention, I like it!

[@GOON-MAXX]

nigel thornberry 😂

[@stephe1506]

Nigel is also voiced by Tim Curry who played Frankenfurter in the Rocky Horror movie 😅

[@minero1775]

As a Brit I can confirm we all sound like this in bed 😂

[@theflowerhead]

Nooooooo. 😂

[@Hairybloke95]

Your British accent is better than mine and that's very concerning

[@thetheatreparkinglot9802]

Sooooo Southern Baptist 😂

[@earlofcockgobblingshire3666]

Halfway through and we've already had three different accents!