Medical PTSD. What it is and what I am doing about it

[@cloudsinvenice]

Thank you for talking about this; I've had a lot of traumatic experiences around feeding tubes, among other things, and now I'm being treated for medical trauma. It's so validating to hear other people talk about this kind of thing. I think the issue of having clinicians get mad at you for being in distress is often a huge part of the trauma.

[@courtneypeters652]

currently going through this after 8 surgeries for Crohns/Colitis. Also in trauma therapy for nightmares about hospitals, mood swings, anger/lashing out, dissociating, and also the SMELL of hospitals for sure. Its the dehumanization of us as bodies and not as people. Especially sick bodies. It is good to know Im not alone

[@Polecat-qz5om]

I’m sorry hun.. hope you are doing okay. I have stomach problems too that I have to get checked out and I just had spinal fusion surgery they went through my back stomach and hip. Sucks!!!

[@KickingZebra]

i didn't realize how many others had this as well, i know many others that do but never realize so many people do. It should not be like this. Some days i would rather let something go really wrong and not get help for it than walk into another medical setting. I had a skull fusion in 2016, and since then it has been one trauma over another. And these simple things now - they terrify me. I am panic every time i even have a small appointment. I think our souls are just tired. we cant live without medical care when we are sick or permanently injured. at the same time we can't handle it anymore after a while. it is just one thing after the other. it is never ending. and i can not see a life and future full of this can continue. I feel for you so much as you are so young. mine happened when i was 39. we can not live with it , and we can not live without it. it has given me a nervous breakdown before, i can never find a day of peace because there will always be another shoe that drops. and then dealing with the pain and sickness on top of it. I understand wanting to be done with it. As long as you have people to help you , hang in there. THere are those of us who dont have anyone anymore, they are dead and gone, friends move on. We are doing this alone. utlize the xtra help as long as you have it and hopefully this stops for you

[@YouAreSoLoved962]

oh my gosh. i almost started crying because i was so happy i’m not alone. i have medical ptsd but i thought i was the only one. thank you for making this video.

[@jasminesturr6127]

I wish i saw this sooner! I am going to make more of this series. It is so important to talk about it. You are not alone! I am sorry this happened to you too. If you havent seen my blog jasminesturr.blogspot.com, I have written about med ptsd there :) Sending healing thoughts ❤️

[@inkbendyfan23]

My psychiatrist diagnosed me with medical PTSD the last time I visited her a month ago. My dreams have not been pleasant on most nights and I'm having to take OTC sleeping medication just to sleep most of the time. I can't even go into a medical office without taking a medication that my psychiatrist prescribed to me and even then, it just prevents me from having a panic attack. How I got diagnosed with PTSD is because when I was thirteen years old, I was having severe constipation. At the time, nobody knew what was wrong with me and it never occurred to me that constipation was a thing. So I was going through all of these tests. But there was one doctor who made it so much worse. I was already nervous around needles so I brought a little figure that I liked to just hold in my hand to distract me. No big deal. As soon as I stepped in the room, this doctor snatched the toy right out of my hands which already set me into anxiety. I hesitantly get up in the chair and he's fiddling around with everything to do a CAT scan. He takes out on an IV (which I've never had before) and I'm just trying to get the doctor to give me my figure back. He starts shouting at me because I needed the figure but he gave it back to me eventually. I guess that made him severely angry (or he was crazy like I believe) and when it came time for the IV, he started to insert the needle again and again and again with an evil grin over his face. I will never forget that devilish grin that gave me complete terror... He inserted the IV at least ten times into my arm and my grandfather said that he got so angry that he wanted to punch him. I'm just laying down on that table, sobbing my eyes out and silently praying that was the last stab. He left a huge, deep bruise on my arm for over two weeks. The good part of the story is that my grandfather immediately reported him to management and his boss fired him right on the spot. The boss then apologized to me which I didn't accept. I just wanted to leave. Every night, this memory haunts me and it's all I can think about when I'm in a doctor's office. I've had a lot of horrible experiences with needles that have built up over time into PTSD around doctors /and/ needles. I refuse to go to any hospital unless I'm dying. The last time I have been to a hospital was a few months ago when I fainted at work. I just wanted to go home but my sister decided that it would be best to go to the hospital. I always have a comfort item with me so I can cry into. It may sound silly but it's something nice in a terrifying place. I'm glad that I'm not alone with medical PTSD though and that there are people who DO understand.

[@jamielco]

Thank you for this, I know it was two years ago, but I really needed it tonight with all I’ve been thru. 💜

[@BlessedBaubles]

Good for you for doing this!! I went thru crazy hell& have severe medical ptsd. I’m desperately looking for help so thank you!!!

[@cowatarian.]

Really needed this video right now. Thank you! Appreciate your sharing.

[@kchandlr]

Thank you. Today I had a panic attack triggered by being given a prescription I didn't understand or agree with, and I felt so silly for all that happening "over a pill", even though I know the pill is not the cause only the trigger. Even you shared about your experience with signing your name, it really resonated with me, and helped me so much to feel less alone. Thank you for sharing

[@jenblack4689]

Jasmine, you are very brave and I see so much strength in you. Thank you for taking the time to share your story, and I agree that you would be an amazing medical advocate working in a hospital someday... making sure that the patients are heard. Keep that dream alive, for yourself, and for all of the potential hospital patients that need you. I have been struggling with my own form of medical PTSD after watching my 8-year-old daughter go through her third brain surgery in 3 years (last surgery was 4 days after you posted this video). My main issue is that after the second surgery we were told that her problems were gone, so for about 3 weeks in September of 2017 I was finally able to relax after the rollercoaster that we had been on for the last year and a half. Sometime around the end of September, after an emergency MRI was required due to some unexpected EEG results, I learned that she was sick again and would require another brain surgery. So now I have this impression that if I stop worrying about my daughter, as I did last year, then her illness will come back again. I am unable to relax, no matter the setting, and this is impacting my ability to function even in my day to day job of being a wife and mother. I have to be within a 15-mile proximity of her at all times, or I start having a panic attack. I have been under the care of a therapist since my daughter's first emergency brain surgery in 2016, trying to make sure that I was coping well enough with everything that life has thrown at me... for a while I was doing really well but now I can't focus on anything, it is almost like the rational parts of my brain aren't online, and just the emotional parts are working. I haven't been able to return to work yet, because work is beyond the 15-mile threshold that my body seems to require, right now. I feel like I am being held hostage and that my mind and my body are out of sync. I have committed to a yoga practice to try to help reunite my mind and body again, and I have also started an art journal to alleviate some of the stress. I so feel for you, and what you are going through. I hope this comment finds you well, and that the baby steps that you have been taking will continue to move you forward. Keep that momentum going with patience and kindness for yourself.

[@jasminesturr6127]

Parents absolutely can get med ptsd too. Im so sorry its rough. I wish i saw this comment sooner. Thank you for sharing, sending you and your daughter good healing thoughts ❤️

[@sarapate6508]

My therapist is introducing me to medical trauma. I had a ton of surgeries growing up because of scoliosis. Like you, as well, dentist appointments are damn near impossible. I have to take my mom with me. You are awesome, and thank you for this video. It is difficult. I work in a Pediatric hospital, and sometimes get flashbacks at work. Feel free to PM me for support.

[@BlessedBaubles]

Ok, now That I’ve heard you I can tell you I really relate. And I’m really in awe that you’ve done this so openly@;$ so kindly!! “Being kind to ourselves”. Wow! That was awesome! I want you to know my story too so you know you’re not alone. But how? Do I tell it here? Are you even still doing videos? Well, here goes anyway... I had my third planned c-section but the anesthesiologist put the spinal in the wrong place. Before surgery, I felt the pin prick test so I asked the anesth if he was prepared to put me to sleep if I felt anything. He promised he would. 3 Times! But once the doc started cutting my head went back and I heard my own screaming! The scream just came out like it was from another person. I’m not a fragile person. I never scream. I’ve never had emotional or mental issues. But this was severe pain!! And because I was thrashing around, the doc yelled, “Give her something, give her anything!” So the a-hole anesthesiologist doc who wasn’t even certified fumbled through his plastic drawers, dropping stuff, then gave me 3 shots of Ketamine within 20 minutes. I went thru feeling all the cutting while also on a trip to hell! So the time frame to my brain was 3 days of torture while the real time was 45 minutes. I can’t tell anyone what I saw and went thru during the Ketamine trip and the cutting but I did see every second I ever lived, saw, breathed, smelled, tasted, experienced, second by second! It just kept flashing, and it really was every second of my life flashing in front of me while feeling scissors cutting up my insides, and worrying about my baby! During recovery my foot was dragging. I didn’t know I had spinal cord damage and foot drop. My foot and calf were hurting so badly, like a giant bee sting that never ended.. I didn’t know I had neuropathy pain. I have spinal cord damage, tore both shoulders, both knees, herniated several discs, so much pain, completely changed my life. My family won’t even acknowledge I have a single injury never mind a full disability! So after all this, guess what I needed? A bunch of corrective surgeries!! But do you think I can get in another OR room? NO WAY! I can’t even get an MRI without freaking out! This was 14 years ago. Today I have gallbladder issues but will not let them scope me. I have 3 hernias I wil not let them fix. I have severe neuropathy burning pain in my feet from the spinal cord damage. The law suit I had I got so screwed on! The attorney was also a snake in the grass! So now I can’t work, I’ve lost everyone, I live in a housing project, on disability, way below poverty level, and no one understands medical PTSD! The psychiatrist who first diagnosed me put it the best. He said, your body is trying to avoid this happening to you again! So any situation that looks or feels similar, your body will try to escape it. Like touching a hot stove! Next time you will avoid it because if you’ve learned it burns really bad. Well, same with PTSD. That’s it in a nut shell. People can understand that explanation better than telling them we have a mental illness because PTSD Is not a mental illness. It’s a physical reaction to severe trauma where your body is doing the right thing... protecting itself. But the flashbacks are horrible. The state of mind and panic is horrible. The scrambled life is horrible. I was desperate for help today so I finally decided to search yourtube for medical ptsd. Not too much out there, but I’m so glad I found yours! I hope there’s a part 2! I’m gonna look now. God bless you!! I hope things are better. Please consider listening to Dr Robert Morse on KZbin, search his name along with Parkinson’s. I think you’re gonna find a lot of hope!

[@Polecat-qz5om]

I’m so sorry you have been through that hell. You are such a beaut! Don’t let this shit world get you down. I didn’t have brain surgery but I had stomach and back spinal fusion surgery. I’m two months post op and a complete jerk face psychopath. I also work in medical so I’ll be taking my butt to the doc for some Prozac I guess. Oh yeah twilight sedation pahlease 😆

[@LampWaters]

I'm learning more and more that ptsd has a lot to do with control

[@professorg7387]

Thank you for your contribution to a better world! You are a beautiful soul! We have OSDD and ASD and our story is absolutely heartbreaking. We feel we were left for dead. We were gaslit, abused and even raped in MULTIPLE MEDICAL FACILITIES because our ASD and OSDD prevented us from remembering the trauma or being able to express what happened. We thought about starting a movement in which ppl share their medical trauma stories, just like ppl shared sexual assault stories with #metoo. We’re thinking of calling it #leftfordead. . . What do u think!?!

[@dot4555]

i'm apart of a did system and honestly your comment is so reassuring. we formed after our caretakers neglected the onset of pneumonia and ended up doing so until it became life threatening. we were induced into a coma and later overdosed on steroids seven times the healthy amount for a four year old. our bpd & did prevented us from remembering anything crucial about our hospitalization but since it was so long ago, we had to ask to find out the truth. thank you so much for this comment, i hope you have a great day and i wish you luck with your integration (if that is a goal of yours)

[@TomWalterTX]

My heart goes out to you. You would be excellent to have in a hospital, I can not think of a better medical advocate! Follow your dreams, for me Parkinson's and Cancer is one heck of a journey I never thought I'd be on, but those few wonderful advocates have made it easier. My name is Tom, I need my medication on time every time, wake me! I was so adamant about that, they got me meds immediately post op!

[@jasminesturr6127]

Hi Tom, yes!! So important to have meds on time! Thank you for your kind words, I am applying for med school this summer. :) Good luck with your health, sending good thoughts!

[@MamaTriedSolo]

Ive been sexually violated by 2 different doctors. Anytime im "REQUIRED" to disrobe, I go into fight or flight. Usually both. I am a mess.