Raven Drone - Campfire Stories

Amphetamines, Arms Across America, and incompetence.
🔥 / mikeburnfire
👾 / mikeburnfire
👾 / zach_hazard

[@sks2000]

I'll tell my "almost joined" story. My mom found out is was talking to the army recruiter and sat me down told what it was like watching Grandpa die slowly from lung cancer related to spending the 1960s cleaning/fixing the inside of B-52 fuel tanks without proper protection from the jet fuel fumes.

[@RuSosan]

👑👈 Your mom dropped this, I think.

[@metetural9140]

Your mom's a real one

[@Kaarl_Mills]

Tell your mom that was pretty cool

[@prylosecorsomething3194]

I'm currently in the air force cleaning the inside of kc135 fuel tanks and I'm probably gonna die. Thanks for reminding me

[@henryofskalitz4879]

​@@prylosecorsomething3194that is pretty dark actually

[@zantanzuken]

the fun part about that lost f-35 was a guy found it, told the military about it, and then was almost arrested for having found it, like he wasnt supposed to or something.

[@subtlewhatssubtle]

And they wonder why they can't rely on citizen assistance anymore...

[@jackmeyers7805]

Same principle is what blows my mind about magnet fishermen. All those failed abortions have to do is shut their mouths and turn off the camera and they will face literally zero potential consequences.

[@silvertalon007]

This is how you end up never finding your next missing piece of military tech because it instead gets hauled to a salvage yard and cut up never to be heard of again.

[@thegrandestcherokee7161]

​@silvertalon007 considering that HMMWVs have aluminum bodies and do not need keys, I'm shocked that hasn't been done more often to them. I'm sure it's happened though, depending on your location it could be an easy way to make money lol.

[@kellyalger2394]

Moldy barracks, homeless vets, and a useless VA. And people wonder why the military has a recruiting crisis lol. Loving the content from the DD214 Mountain!

[@Kaarl_Mills]

"guys were not meeting our quotas help!" "Have you tried paying people better, not letting the absolute scum of humanity run our bases, looking after our own, and not driving away the actually skilled and motivated?" "No"

[@warped_rider]

​@@Kaarl_Mills"Best we can do is a rainbow colored recruitment ad. It doesn't mean anything, but it scapegoats the gays for our lack of competence when conservatives get mad at us."

[@kellyalger2394]

@@Kaarl_Mills Nah, that would be asking too much, only the best for our soldiers!

[@kellyalger2394]

@@warped_rider Emma and her two moms would be proud of our military

[@jacpas2012]

“Do as I say, not as I do” - entire chain of command. sir everyone that can read just left.

[@Jesus_and_my_trap_phone]

The fact that listing to zach talk about ordering his ADHD meds made me remember that I have 3 pills left and need to oder my ADHD medication 😳

[@ImperialGuardsman2]

It's been four hours. Did you remember to get that refill. If not, you better hurry. Because there might be another shortage again.

[@keyanklupacs6333]

Yep concerta was like that for me too.

[@lilmisscyndi6617]

@@ImperialGuardsman2 ugh yes the shortages, don't remind me.

[@larrychilders6599]

Op needs his meds

[@Jesus_and_my_trap_phone]

​@@ImperialGuardsman2I did indeed forget until my workmate bullied me about it, we good now

[@deltarno7502]

Anyone else love when he says "If anyone higher up in the military is watching", it cut to a couple of gangsters?

[@Bubben246]

No. Gangsters are more honest about their shady dealings.

[@tachyon8317]

I was lucky. My LEADERship was actually people that LED. My capt told our mechanics to sup' up a 5-ton like a race car, asked our welder why there weren't any flames or art on his welding helmet, and tried to get suppressors for our m16s by writing them in as "generator muffler silencers". Our battalion XO called that one out and stopped it, sadly, lol

[@Fordring1776]

insert smedley butler quote

[@fn2s145]

​@@tachyon8317those are the men the country needs.

[@CassandraFortuna]

In the context of the game they use as a backdrop, those guys are basically the shady Feds of post-nuclear west-coast America.

[@SynchronizorVideos]

Zach’s right to mention the Coast Guard for those interested in military service. They get overlooked or made fun of a lot, but they do really important work. And they have a lot of cool MOSs that don’t necessarily involve getting yo-yo’d from a helicopter or shooting drug smugglers.

[@Spartan322]

Being one of the two "civil military" branches also lends them to actually helping people, if someone goes missing at sea its usually the Coast Guard's job to find em.

[@Ozzianman]

Good point, probably one of the few branches where you actually keep your sanity as there is a purpose to what you do

[@FerretPirate]

@@Spartan322 What's the other branch?

[@davebaton8879]

@@FerretPirate IDK which one he meant but there are actually three uniformed services that are not part of the DOD under normal circumstances. Coast Guard (DHS), US Public Health Service Commissioned Corps (Health and Human Services) and NOAA Commissioned Officer Corps (Commerce).

[@FerretPirate]

@@davebaton8879 Wow. I've never even HEARD of the other two.

[@siristhedragon]

Both my grandfathers were in the military, and both of them essentially forbid all their kids and grand-kids from joining. The grandfather on my mom's side was a med evac pilot in Vietnam, and he told me that the shit he saw was the stuff of nightmares and he regretted every second he spent there. I took his word for it...

[@mankyscotchgit4986]

I had a great-grandfather (or possibly great-great, I forget) who fought in the First World War. The guy was extremely taciturn, my mum thinks he was likely autistic (or OCD, he had things like having to put on his shoes in a certain order, always had the same meals, refused to take his coat off in summer etc.), but he was awarded a medal for bravery. The interesting thing is that he apparently never spoke about it, never told anyone what he was given the medal for (and I don't think he ever wore it). According to his wife, it was for saving the life of an officer. The only war story that has been passed down from him is about the crossing of the Rhine at the end of the war, he described how they had to cross on ropes in full kit, none of them could swim, and there were dead bodies in the water around them. I believe he also used to talk disapprovingly about how they were given rum before an attack, he didn't drink at all in later life. I get the impression that the war left him very mentally scarred, hence his compulsive tendencies and refusal to accept praise or glory for it.

[@saudade7842]

@@mankyscotchgit4986 My Grandfather was a paratrooper during WW2 (501st) and I sadly never got to meet him, so all I have are stories from my mom (half of them she got from people who fought alongside him because he didn't tell her much, and he died while she was young). He got a few medals, I don't know what most of them were for, except the purple heart for losing half his face to a Nazi tree burst in Bastogne. I remember my mom telling me about how when she was growing up she'd sometimes overhear him and her uncle (I think on her mom's side), who was in the navy and took part in the 'clean up' after Pearl Harbor, just drinking and sobbing together when they'd hang out at night

[@NinjaTyler]

My great uncle served in Vietnam as a platoon leader, he was leading his men through the jungle and the men kept begging to take a break in the hot jungle heat, after a while against his better judgement he gave in and let them rest. They were then ambushed and all slaughtered, he only survived by hiding under one of his men's bodies. He carried that guilt the rest of his life and did every substance known to man. He was a kind loving man who loved to laugh, but he was forever haunted by that event. Between that and losing family in Iraq and a second cousin losing both legs to a car bomb, yeah military is a hard no for me but I will always respect the troops, just not the privileged assholes that send them to their deaths.

[@spec_opsgaming]

​@@NinjaTylerit's like the CCR song "fortunate son" "Some folks are born made to wave the flag Hoo, they're red, white and blue And when the band plays "Hail to the chief" Ooh, they point the cannon at you, Lord It ain't me, it ain't me I ain't no senator's son, son It ain't me, it ain't me I ain't no furtunate one, no Some folks are born silver spoon in hand Lord, don't they help themselves, Lord? But when the taxman come to the door Lord, the house lookin' like a rummage sale, yeah It ain't me, it ain't me I ain't no millionaire's son, no, no It ain't me, it ain't me I ain't no fortunate one, no Yeah-yeah, some folks inherit star-spangled eyes Hoo, they send you down to war, Lord And when you ask 'em, "How much should we give?" Hoo, they only answer, "More, more, more, more" It ain't me, it ain't me I ain't no military son, son, Lord It ain't me, it ain't me I ain't no fortunate one, one It ain't me, it ain't me I ain't no fortunate one, no, no, no It ain't me, it ain't me I ain't no fortunate son, no, no, no It ain't me, it ain't me..." This song speaks about the millionaires who send others to war for their gain, while pulling strings and paying people off to keep themselves from fighting, and also that some people are BORN to fight in war, they bleed red white and blue and LIVE to fight for this country...armed service is for some people but not everyone.. but i'd say we would have a lot less war if we would FORCE the ones who want war into fighting their own battles

[@plantainsame2049]

​@@mankyscotchgit4986l

[@PewPewBeets]

Growing up, my mom BEGGED me to go into the ROTC and then go into the military. I have autism, Asperger's specifically, and I didn't act like a stereotypical good Catholic boy. She wanted me to learn "self-discipline", but I'm thinking her real reasons were that she didn't want to spend every minute raising me and she desperately wants a family member in the military for the clout. I never joined because I was lazy and saw joining the military as suicide.

[@sweetsucculentcontentnectar]

Smart man.

[@13legomania]

My dad was the same way. Kept pressuring and even threatening to drag me down to the recruiting office to join the Air Force. He told me to my face he didn’t believe I had anything wrong with me and was just “ungrateful” and needed to get “straightened out”. No you bastard, I had untreated ADD and autism. No level of discipline, punishment, or military training will help that.

[@teslashark]

You could very realistically be hazed to death or addiction if you joined!

[@Cynic_6489]

your mom thinking ROTC is gonna "instill discipline" is a mark of parenting failure on her end.

[@red_d849]

kinda rude of her if that was the case

[@DSFARGEG00]

The assistant to a regional manager at a McDonald's wields way more authority and responsibility than an Army corporal (and it's marginally better-recognized, too, though everyone still hates them - just like a corporal).

[@richardgadberry8398]

Not to mention access to the ultimate WMD: The McRib.

[@jacpas2012]

I wonder if the regional manager has access to the gold card too.

[@DSFARGEG00]

@@jacpas2012 Most corporate staff at the GM level or above have a p-card, but the company monitors those and you will get caught if you use it inappropriately.

[@markswang8987]

what did regional manager do exactly? are they managing city wide operation or bigger?

[@niklausvenzendt]

A regional manager oversees multiple stores in a certain region, usually the corporate Hey-Ho who stops in to "observe" the team to make sure they're "Arby's"ing correctly, and to make sure the management isn't making them any more su*cidal than they need to be.

[@vinnypunkcyber]

My dad fueled jet planes next to burn pits or whatever in the military and died at the beginning of this year, and the VA took way too long to pay for every assisting device or accessability option to help him out when he needed it. Everything was about two months late when he needed it most. My mom had been filing for support before the PACT act was passed and she likes to think she had a hand in it by getting factual evidence, contacting his higher-ups and everything, almost being on the phone with the VA three times a week. Yeah it was all messed up to a degree, but my dad only cared about if we were ok without him, and that much I'll be sad about for him, and proud of my mom. Just all fond memories from here, and baking cookies like he used to.

[@vadimtherooskie1174]

I’m sorry for your loss, he sounded like a great man.

[@Roggor]

As someone old enough to remember when cold medicine actually used to be good and effective, before they took out the good bits because of meth heads figuring out you could make meth with over the counter cold medicine, I 100% get the hate for those that sell Adderal to junkies and screw over those who actually NEED the drug.

[@UpbeatMisanthropist]

drugs, winner of the war on drugs for 50+ years

[@daltongarrett3393]

Personally I blame the government for perpetuating the war on drugs and leaving the economy in such a shit situation that selling drugs is a really good, if not the best option for a lot of people

[@Jack-hk4nn]

Yup. In the UK, we have Sudafed “Blocked Nose” (can be sold in any store), useless or Sudafed “Decongestant” (containing pseudoephedrine that actually works) which is pharmacy only and they’ll only sell you 1 box at a time

[@JDTN1985]

​@@Jack-hk4nn Basically the same situation with those meds here in the US. In fact our FDA recently admitted that the over the counter stuff is no better than a placebo.

[@diegonunez3492]

​@@JDTN1985where'd they say that

[@Stuff8522]

In the Air Force, we have police call, but we also have Foreign Object Debris or FOD walk. There was a rumor that there was a golden bolt somewhere on the airfield and that you'd get a day off if you found it. We never found that damn golden bolt.

[@L337f33t]

Almost assuredly that was a lie to get you to look harder. 😂

[@dudelesanimation3672]

Or maybe someone found it and the people supervising just decided to not tell anyone

[@Sleptanimations]

Wtf is this? The Disney movie Holes?

[@gavingross2174]

I can confirm the existence of the golden bolt, at least at Little Rock AFB. Not because i persoanlly found it, rather because one if the new guys found it like 2 or 3 times

[@katarjin]

Did you find the roll of Flight line?

[@thatwelshman2713]

Mike being a goober and putting OP-4 instead of OPFOR lol, love him.

[@Kaarl_Mills]

He's a marine, words longer than 3 letters give him headaches

[@thatwelshman2713]

@@Kaarl_Mills you're right i expected too much from a marine lol.

[@MidTennPews]

​@@Kaarl_Millshe was a reservist though right? I think they only eat crayons for special occasions when they go that route but I could be wrong. There's just a lack of "rah rah ogga booga rah" .

[@Jessforprez]

@@Kaarl_Mills they probably put lead in the crayons to limit their power

[@alastair852]

So, I grew up in an RV park owned by my grandmother, and one of our tenants was a marine. When he joined the marines, people tried to convince him to be a helicopter mechanic, but he wanted to be a machine gunner, and so he became a machine gunner. He said he wished he'd been a helicopter mechanic instead, because that's a skill set that transfers over to civilian life, unlike firing an M60.

[@alexlongfur2515]

I am currently watching my neighbor who served in Vietnam as a base radio operator slowly die from Agent Orange. He has been to the hospital at least six times this year alone for a combination of surgeries, or falling due to muscle issues.

[@Alpharius-Omegon]

Yes the mold issue is insane here at Fort Bliss, my agents have to scrub twice monthly and it still returns…

[@juhokuusisto9339]

You can't just scrub off mold. It is part of the building. It should be torn down and rebuilt and kept dry.

[@demonkingsparda]

@@juhokuusisto9339 that costs money uncle sam would rather spend on weapons

[@bradylow5196]

@@juhokuusisto9339he can because he is alpharius

[@minister6736]

@@juhokuusisto9339 how on earth can they not keep a building dry in a desert

[@sirjmo]

​@@minister6736swamp coolers, basically cooling down the air by filling it with cold moisture. Replacing the problem of heat with the problem of humidity, until it stops working and you get both.

[@RyuTheAsian47]

Honestly Zach, what you said about being at least an American soldier is kinda what stopped me from joining. I dreamed of the idealized version of a service member as a kid, but what stopped me is realizing how little the US government cares about it's service members post contract and even during their service. I've been very fortunate to have talked to many different service members, both active and retired, and I've gotten a lot of different responses, but consistently, they mention how much the military took out of them, which granted is part of the job, but I've come to the conclusion that so much of it is unnecessary and that what you may get out of it, may not make up for what it takes from you.

[@Zach_Hazard]

This is a really good comment. If you’re going to join, you better hope you get as much out of it as they take from you.

[@soupcangaming662]

@@Zach_Hazard "Like that's ever gonna happen."

[@dark2023-1lovesoni]

I come from a long line of military men serving since WW1, primarily Army, usually Army Aviation. I'm literally Ernest the 5th. As a high-schooler I mentioned to my father that I was considering military service. He was a commissioned officer before he entered the IRR and retired, a Major, with a moderate-length career as a helo pilot and instructor at Fort Rucker. I'll always remember him telling me that every "Ernest" before me served, and that instead of considering it a tradition, I should consider it a patriotic duty/debt that has already been more than paid. He basically said that the US military has gotten just over 45 total years of service from my direct family line (practically equivalent to 1 full lifetime's working career). All of my forefathers gave many of their best years to the military and that was more than enough. He wanted me to do literally anything else, he reiterated that they sacrificed their youth so that I wouldn't need to. So I went to pharmacy school at Wingate instead. However, that honest conversation has always stuck with me.

[@galaxy-eb9sp]

zach i want you to know that a pal of mine asked me if he should join the military and i showed him your rants and he changed his mind pretty much instantly

[@Zach_Hazard]

You’re doing the lords work

[@blakebobgamez1946]

@@Zach_Hazard You also changed my mind with your rants.

[@D.b._Lord]

@@Zach_HazardSadly it didn’t work for me, but at least I joined the “smart” branch

[@soupcangaming662]

@@D.b._Lord puddle pirates or jet-fuckers?

[@garybrown2039]

​@@D.b._LordChair Force?

[@phantomthiefirwin9631]

21:39 Appreciate the shout out brother! Been in the Coast Guard for a year now its the best thing I ever did. People either dont even know we exist or make fun of us for being "not real military" We've always been the red headed step child (now the Space Force is a thing we arent alone anymore lol) but its a far better quality of life and going out and actually helping people. Cant ask for a better gig in the military.

[@Skullhawk13]

Wait space force is real?

[@Jarl3169]

Yeah people don't realize what all the Coast Guard does, Coast Guards are heroes on the homeland, hanging out of helicopter saving civilians, going headfirst into deadly hurricanes to save civilians, busting drug smugglers, plus they still get deployed in times of war, not as much as other branches but something I never knew until recently they were deployed in what Kuwaite I think? Some were also in the Vietnam War they became part of the DOD and fought alongside the navy, protecting US and South Vietnamese ships, attacking North Veitanmese ships, and rescuing lost troops. So that's cool defenitly the real military lol

[@soupcangaming662]

@@Skullhawk13 It aint real till they got space battleships.

[@theboyman8035]

I tried to join the marines, apparently playing chicken disqualifies you from being able to join the military but if you have severe mental issues that could cause you to snap out and try and kill your squad you're fine to join. At least according to what the recruiter said.

[@BillehBobJoe]

You got a traffic ticket for playing chicken? What was it listed as, reckless driving?

[@norrecvizharan1177]

I mean, arguably that could still be the same action if you end up being the driver of a vehicle. Really puts every passenger (and thus squad mate) at risk, so I can see why they wouldn't allow it.

[@Kaarl_Mills]

Oh you meant with cars.... I was about to say, soldiers play chicken in the baracks all the time and don't get in trouble

[@bthsr7113]

For me the absolute worst part of refilling my meds is that I forget to, then face heavy anxiety over it. So even before the Pharmacy or doctor's office screws up, I I have to get myself up over the emotional hill to call.

[@geoffreyentwistle8176]

Good God I feel that... Doesn't matter how many times I've called before or how polite they've always been, that fucking anxiety has got my back!

[@anusername8350]

The NHS over here in the UK is equally as sluggish and infuriating when trying to get my ADHD meds. At least it’s free

[@MachineMan-mj4gj]

Zach is having trouble with the VA, which is government run. I can speak from experience that the for-profit outfits do not have this problem. You just better have rock solid insurance.

[@tachyon8317]

Not free. You're hyper-taxed salary pays for it

[@thecursed01]

@@tachyon8317 always hate when ppl say "free". we have the most expensive health system here in germany..and it sucks...lost my career/job becasue of mental illness (can't do tasks or focus). now there would be unemployment money and health coverage...nope.. first they want a diagnosis....first appointment i got is...march...2025....am expected to pay health insurance and several other mandatory things...rent..food..out of thin air until then.

[@finonevado8891]

@@thecursed01 fucking hell lad I hope you're exaggerating, march 2025 is madness.

[@thecursed01]

@@finonevado8891 no. That's my appointment. If I pay 800 out of pocket or have private insurance (2nd system available for ppl working for the gov or have high income), I could get on in August 2024. Mental health is not really seen as as real thing by our gov/healthcare system. Extra frustrating: all i need is a prescription. Could have kept my job with it. Don't need weekly therapy or anything...just a prescription..tried for a year, now job is gone.

[@austinclements8010]

10:18 literally every person i've spoken to who was in the military and not a recruiter says not to, i learned my lesson XD told that recruiter i had homicidal thoughts and that i loved selling meth and he left me alone after the first call

[@ltntwafflz9043]

Omg I wish I had thought of this when a recruiter called me in high school.

[@soupcangaming662]

"Homicidal thoughts!? You're perfect for infantry!"

[@DoctorPortal_IX]

A friend of mine hit em with the old “I’d rather serve crack than serve this country.”

[@Skullhawk13]

@@DoctorPortal_IXserving the COUNTRY is fine. But soldiers are forced to serve politicians. Big difference.

[@nog0dsnomasters]

If I ever somehow get drafted, all I have to do is mention that my eyes are mad fucked, and pull up my small novel's-length list of severe mental health issues. Being in a failing mind and body does have its perks-

[@Confucios1118]

Oh man. The last story reminds me of when I was in the Boyscouts. At this yearly camp place we went to, the last day we had this big competition where each troop had to build their own raft from scratch, and use it in this canoe race. We built ours with two inflatable tires and two boards, and covered them with garbage bags. We then took a bunch of logs on top, and made it into like a raft. It was already approved by the higher ups who even saw it before we covered it with trash bags to hold the bottom part together. Took us all week to get this thing together, and we were proud of it. But because the bottom part with the tires resembled one of the floaties they used for lake fishing, this one other troop would not stop complaining that we had clearly stolen one, and just covered it with trash bags. To the point that they threatened to block everyone from competing in the canoe race until we fessed up. Mind you, this wasn’t just the other scouts, but their master (full grown adults) as well. Finally the counselors gave in, but instead of letting us poke a hole in just the garbage back, one of them took their pocket knife, and sliced into it, puncturing the tires, and basically just destroying our raft. So instead of us getting to use this cool raft we spend all week making, because these other scouts had to be punks, we had to use just one of the tires, because it wasn’t buoyant enough to hold anything more than one person, and awkwardly paddle to the buoy in the middle of the lake and back, while everyone else got to use their own rafts and canoes they built.

[@justin2308]

I’m honestly not surprised, especially the counselors doing that. My own problem is with the movement as a whole, though. Towards the end, a lot of troop leaders and the scouts that were joining were just complete jerks through and through. I was part of three troops and all three had at least one bad apple somewhere. My worst experience was when the scoutmaster of a neighboring troop invited us to camp on their land. A nice forested area that they would host camps on, and they even built their own personal clubhouse. It was great! Problem is, when we went there, we got rained out while setting up camp so the scoutmasters moved us into the clubhouse interior to sleep. Turns out, the scouts of the other troop didn’t like that and they proceeded to treat my troop horribly at every turn. At least one scout on our side got physically hurt while others were harassed. We never went back after that and…actually, I think that troop was forced to relocate due to the scoutmaster having problems in his personal life? Then there’s my mom and dad. They joined Woodbadge because I was a scout and they were constantly getting overruled, sidelined, and even having their ideas stolen by other scout leaders, including those they considered friends. What broke the camel’s back was when they came up with an idea for integrating a merit badge college into an annual Woodbadge convention so that normal scouts could have sometime to attend alongside scout leaders, and it was (and still is) a huge success- such a huge success, in fact, that the other leaders wanted to swoop in and take it over. Not only did they do that, but my folks were essentially forced out of EVERYTHING they were involved in.

[@ILikeTheThingsIDo]

The irony where chainsmoking cigarettes was probably the less hazardous thing to your health when you were cleaning the mold off the walls.

[@plaguedoctorjamespainshe6009]

Zach you forgot about the barracks that were built over an nuclear waste site

[@nolife9737]

You fucking what

[@ianthompson2802]

Think that's bad my high school was on a site where uranium was enriched and tnt was made

[@AgentDanielCross]

​@@ianthompson2802did you get yourself checked eventually?

[@ianthompson2802]

@@AgentDanielCross I get checked regularly since I have family history also but it was usual for at least a person a year to get cancer or pass from it.

[@AgentDanielCross]

@@ianthompson2802 well i hope that you get lucky

[@paintedfennec]

Zach I feel your pain on refilling ADHD medications. I’m on Concerta and have to go through that struggle of getting refills every month. Last month’s refill was extra hell and it took two weeks to get a refill. I feel like US healthcare doesn’t understand that not everyone abuses the system and some people actually needs the medications to function in society.

[@evanrieux668]

I am also on concerta although I don't share your experience, I am Canadian and while we have restrictions my family doctor has known me for years and so has the pharmacy so for me it's somewhat easier and thank god my health insurance covers my medication, hope it gets better for you

[@TheExtremeDoomGamer]

I have a prescription that I can't get because my insurance doesn't cover it so now I have to wait for god knows how long to get a different one

[@arctrooperecho2654]

I'm on methylphenidate and it's also a massive pain in the ass to refill

[@yolobathsalts]

I was part of the trials for Concerta. It's really cool to see people using something I had a hand in to improve their lives

[@yolobathsalts]

​@@arctrooperecho2654Concerta is literally methylphenidate.

[@LitmusPapyrus]

“Navy you gotta live on a tin can” Hey, we have the awful bureaucracy too!

[@antoniusp3295]

As A Corporal, you're only an actual NCO when it's convenient.

[@BlandSpagetti]

I thought they were the designated fall guy for when shit hits the fan

[@antoniusp3295]

@BlandSpagetti Yes and no. Unfortunately for some, it's true that shit rolls downhill. I dual-wield positions higher than my pay grade, so I get left alone, thankfully. Play the game to win, right?

[@Lo-tf6qt]

I always thought it's strange how inflated US ranks are compared to the UK cus over here even a L.Cpl is considered a proper NCO and is expected to have the same level of responsibility as other NCO's

[@antoniusp3295]

@@Lo-tf6qt It's SUPPOSED to be like that here. It's a cultural issue

[@soupcangaming662]

@@antoniusp3295 the military IS the culture

[@VexdGamer]

I'm the living embodiment of Mike's cautionary tale of "don't go into college without a plan". Don't just have an idea of what degree you want, know what kind of job you want, or rather, can get, with that degree. If you're still not sure and can handle math well, a business (or accounting) degree will open the door to most basic office jobs. And barring that, there's technical schools for stuff like being an electrician or plumber.

[@shanemurphy3186]

This or go to your local community college until you figure out what you want to do and then transfer your credits to that university

[@irisrosenicholas5339]

My great uncle was in the Gulf war, and he was in charge of making sure everyone had enough masks for gas attacks. Needless to say after all the test drills, they were low when they actually got attacked so they were all exposed to whatever and got sick. The government was doing the same song and dance, that doesn’t exist!

[@Snapdragon0112]

Hey Zach. Wanted to thank you. The marines came to my university to try and get me to join JAG. They almost had me too. They said “I’m 28 and own two houses” and “I’ve had three kids and never paid a dime.” I then remembered every single horror story you have told for these past few years. Then it also didn’t help they would require me to stop taking my ADHD meds.

[@fluffskunk]

Lost my adderall access for that same reason. First time they tested me, it didn't show up even thought I was taking it. So I spent months worrying that I wouldn't pass again, and I'd lose access, and I got so depressed that I didn't go to the test, and then when I tried to fix it my doctor ghosted me.

[@Jarl3169]

Adderall has a short half life pretty sure, I think it doesn't show up in urine after like 2 days or something, pretty sure anyway if I'm right tho it would be dumb to piss test someone for it cuz if u ran out or forgot to take it twice in a row which happens often for people with ADHD your screwed

[@patrickguidroz]

As a resident of nowhere Louisiana, I'm always suprized whenever anyone mentions Alexandria. Glad to see you survived the horse-flies and mosquitoes.

[@tkdmike9345]

My Grandfather worker on Defoliants at Ft. Detrick in the late 50’s. He took a deferment to go to college instead of risking the draft. He never confirmed he worker on Agent Orange, but he definitely worked on Agent Orange. He died of a sudden Heart Attack in his 50’s. Literally every other man in my family lived to atleast 80 since 1820. So yea, the government killed my Grandfather and I still have his dog tags. On an unrelated note, my wife’s grandfather worked on the Manhattan Project during ww2… so my combined family is full of wmd makers…

[@solaireastora5394]

kinda cool but kinda fucked

[@starliner2498]

Based

[@generalgrievous2202]

More than orange, he probably worked on multiple rainbow agents (the collective term for all the colour-named defoliants used by the US military)

[@protogenxl]

Zach, Take your old pill bottle paint the Cap bright pink then put 10 days pills in it. When you crack that bottle open you order refills.

[@musicman3351]

Speaking of agent orange, my grandfather was exposed to it while he was in nam and got cancer from and recently died from it and the government said something along the lines of “not service related” cause I guess they really didnt want to give my family compensation for all the chemo and other medical costs

[@justin2308]

Which of course is absolute bullshit because they made it.

[@beck-nightengale]

I really hate how effective Adderall was for me, because I legitimately have ADHD and it was one of the few medications I ever took that actually worked, but getting it is so freaking difficult that I just gave up on staying on it consistently. I really do need it again, but the medical system makes it so complicated for people like me to stay on it. Unrelated to that, but I also remember almost joining the military, but was discouraged because the recruiter basically tried to convince me to starve myself to get down to 120lbs when I was gaining weight working out due to muscle mass. And that sure as hell wasn't happening with my body type unless I became some weedy little flower that would crumble when the wind blew, so I just thought it wasn't worth it and kept working out and building muscle instead and living my own life. The fact that they prioritize numbers on a scale over actual strength and muscles is just BS. I had a friend who was a big guy when he joined the Marines, but he had a strongman type body. Dude could lift several hundred pounds like it was nothing. Military was so obsessed with scales and tried to starve him to get him to lose weight until it was nearly killing him because his body was being deprived of nutrients. Stuff like that makes me glad I never enlisted.

[@hariman7727]

Sadly, the military/government bureaucracy treats soldiers like disposable guinea pigs/numbers... at best.

[@soupcangaming662]

"We can't break you down if you just lift up all that baggage to begin with! The drill sergeants will be jealous!"

[@justin2308]

“Let’s kill this man who can actually take what we can dish out in terms of heavy-lifting!” Seriously. They’re psychopaths!

[@MaskedSongbird]

Left ROTC in college for a lot of reasons, but mostly because I was having trouble juggling that and an engineering degree with a minor in math at the same time. It's been half a decade since I graduated and started my current career and sometimes I still occasionally feel pangs of regret and thoughts of "what if?" when I think of how I ended up never serving. Every time I watch one of Zach's Campfire Stories, I feel much less doubt and more secure in the feeling that I ultimately made the right choice. Truly, y'all are doing a real service with these videos. EDIT: What's especially funny though is that for a period of time I had worked for a company that in addition to being a manufacturer of civilian products was also a military contractor for aircraft. Turns out, I still got to witness my fair share of inefficiency, horrifying ethical lapses, and infuriating bureaucratic incompetence that has made some of Zach's stories feel unsettlingly familiar in retrospect. Lol. I'm so happy I don't work there anymore, you don't even know.

[@kirknay]

F 1-222 at Eustes had this issue back in 2016. Supposedly the entire barracks was condemned for a decade, and they had been housing AIT soldiers fresh out of basic in them. Basically everyone in that company got pneumonia at least once, and two of my classmates were MD'd due to cardiovascular issues developing while we were in that damn mold trap.

[@bwynn8215]

45 minute campfire stories lets gooo

[@a.gravemistake3061]

I like that the drone had one of those cat collars that said 'I'm lost as hell '

[@Aladica]

3:30 In an ironic twist of fate, having the urine of a shark would basically be having the urine of a human since mammals, amphibeans, and sharks (cardiligous fish) all produce urea

[@ConnerADavis]

Thank you for reminding me to schedule my psychiatrist appointment like I've been meaning to do for a month. I was due for a check up in August lol.

[@detsalb5789]

Your series is like an insulin shot for my wanting to go back to the army. Thank you Zack for breaking my eyepro shaped nostalgia goggles

[@gavinellsworth1565]

I'd love to hear these guys talk to Angry Cops and Eli. I wanna hear the funny stories they all talk about

[@mantha6912]

I know Angry Cops, but who's Eli?

[@ethans7914]

​@@mantha6912eli double tap

[@justin2308]

Specialist Zach having a conversation with Drill Sergeant Angry Cops? Oh boy, that can only go so well… 😂

[@noahv1479]

This reminded me of when two military recruiters found me outside of the technical college I’m attending. I got stuck there for a good 10 extra minutes in a back-and-forth with these guys on why I should or shouldn’t sign up. I didn’t want to be mean to two guys who were probably ordered to look for people and badger them into joining, and the only way I was able to get them to accept that I wasn’t going to sign up THAT DAY, was to imply that I had a self-deprecating attitude and I wanted to be more useful before I considered signing up. I don’t even understand what made them decide to pick me to approach in the first place, I’m a short and somewhat scrawny person.

[@HandchoiceEnterprise]

Thanks, Mike and Zach. Always appreciate the campfire stories. I'm a civilian, and my best mate is a British Army Lance corporal. Always enjoy the perspectives of service personnel. Particularly, their rants that make perfect common sense. My buddy once ended up in nearly an hour long diatribe about a jentsn deployment. Reminds me of Zach when he pauses and goes, "Oh, wait. What were we talking about? Oh, I just went on a rant. Jeeze!". Meanwhile, we; the audience are leaning forward in our seats going: No, please go on!

[@filmandfirearms]

I can't even describe the level of stupid grin I had on my face hearing Zach quoting Al Pacino in Heat. Best goddamn heist movie of all time, one of the best movies, period

[@NotHarrisPen34]

I almost joined the Marines at one point. Even went through their PT sessions for a few months while waiting to get enlisted. Then I listened to the numerous stories of bullshit Zach had gone through when serving and that finally told me, "Maybe I don't wanna go through with this." Pretty sure I would've been miserable during the 4 years I would've served, but now I'm happy with my life as of right now. So... Thanks Zach

[@WhiteIkiryo-yt2it]

Zach's body just went "full power to legs!" With that snake. It is both amazing and nuts how powerful the body can be when it has to.

[@Hollow_Phoenix]

The levels of gun repair thing seems easy to understand, personally. Shooter -> Distributor/Maintenance -> Repair -> Manufacturer. Also damn, that drone story hits home. My brothers both bought one each and love to bring em out when we meet up, they're so casual about sending them super far away that it gets me worried they'll end up exactly as happened to you :P Granted, they have live video feed and one even has a friggin VR headset, flashy stuff.

[@LazerWolf21]

I was in pretty much the exact same situation with my adderall prescription about a month ago. I got an engineering job with the Navy (in a civilian capacity, to be clear) and I forgot to get a prescription in before I moved down to my duty station. What I found out when I got down there was that Adderall was almost impossible to get (the DEA may be somewhat responsible for this, but there’s apparently a local supply deficit). I ended up having to go without it my first day of work. I’ve had to resort to calling like 2 weeks ahead to a CVS in the middle of the nearby big-ish city for future prescriptions, but at least I can get refills now.

[@FortuneZer0]

In Switzerland its basicly 4 tiers. The user The weapons mechanic works for all positions on a company level and does quite a lot The logistics base which is civilian run The Industry As we have personal rifles there is no such thing as an armorer taking in and handing out weapons. Thats just a weird concept. Anyways I started as a weapons mechanic, after service I did half a year in a logistics base and now im in the industry.

[@Xmasta420]

Man, I remember my grandmother telling me about a childhood friend of hers who was drafted during Vietnam. They brought him in, found out he was Puerto Rican, and sent him to Vieques for his training. He figured it was a great deal: Except Vieques was where the US military was testing Agent Orange. Less than a decade later, he had bone marrow cancer. My grandma would donate marrow to help him, but it only extended his life a few months and he died less than a year later. The government wouldn't acknowledge their role in his death and compensate his family until the 1990s.

[@aidanpysher2764]

Prior F-35 ejection seat mechanic here. An F-35 ejection will zero out the aircraft's computers, including the transponder in case you eject over enemy territory. It automatically turned the tracker off, therefore making it invisible.

[@worshipwormking2327]

man Zach, i feel you about the meds. i get testosterone prescribed, and getting my prescription refilled is like pulling teeth i stg. the clinic i go to absolutely sucks, and I have to call and message them every day trying to get a person, usually like 5 times before they say anything. we call, the pharmacy calls, and we finally get someone. and they're like "well really we prefer you use the portal to message us." We Did. And You Didn't Answer. anyway. hate that place

[@warlynx5644]

@@Constable.ChauvinProbably either hormone therapy or trying to make up for a bodily deficit (yes there are medical conditions where your body can underproduce certain hormones like testosterone or estrogen)

[@astra6640]

​​@@warlynx5644 I simultaneously love and hate how sime people (not you or anybody in particular for the record) are so weirded out by the concept that your body can have a medical issue and need exogenous sex hormones. Like bruh you're gonna accept conditions like hypothyroidism but then squint at somebody having the literal same issue with their testes or ovaries? Not to mention injuries or diseases resulting in not dysfunction but straight up loss of the organs responsible for making the given hormone. Like getting cancer.

[@Alchmeitect]

What I got from this is that, corporal is just the shift-lead of the military world. And I also had a friend that joined the army that did it for the sole purpose of wasting taxpayers dollars.

[@callumdonington2227]

Based

[@ForsakenLiye]

Honestly not pissed about that the government already wastes it

[@PlebNC]

The Area 51 thing turned out to be trash fumes, possibly from burning tires but I can't remember the specifics. Basically up wind on base they'd dispose of trash by burning. The fumes would blow downwind towards troops guarding the perimeter or posted in stationary outdoor positions. The wind had a consistent enough direction that the fumes eventually poisoned the troops. Didn't know about the stuff after that though.

[@joshportal2808]

The Air Force used to use a leave on cleaning chemicals for rubber. When this chemical is burned it becomes radioactive for about a week. Basically it was cheaper to burn the tires and replace them instead of plugging the holes. When the sick people got to the hospital there were signs of radiation poisoning but also select chemicals poisoning. The Air Force refused to explain the chemical which killed 6 soldiers, injured 23 soldiers, and gave cancer to about 500 people in a span of 40 years. After tons of reports, lawsuits, and trials the information became public. The families didn’t want Area 51 to become public but the chemicals used to become known. The Air Force gaslight everyone until 2013 and released all the records on the cleaning chemicals used from 1946 to 1996. Turns out the cleaning chemicals were originally used by the Soviets in WW2 to clean tank treads and the Air Force wanted it to clean planes. In 1945 the United States purchased 85 billion gallons of this cleaner from the Soviets and label the transaction double top secret. The chemical came from the same place in Russia where the world’s supply of asbestos comes from. The United States government was more willing to talk about their most secret testing base than about all the things they bought from the Soviets in the end of the war.

[@PlebNC]

@@joshportal2808 There's an irony to the US military buying old stuff from Soviet Russia. Not as ironic as the McDonalds on Red Square in Moscow, but still ironic.

[@putthewrath9450]

HOW DID THESE GUYS COMMENT 4 DAYS AGO?!

[@jsharpzt]

Idek bruh

[@daltongarrett3393]

Was the video hidden or something?

[@jsharpzt]

I don't think so

[@blablabla798]

patreons get early access to videos

[@jsharpzt]

Wait there's a patreon ?

[@GhostBear3067]

I am glad my doctor does not make it difficult to obtain refills for my ADHD meds, but lately the problem we have been having is that there seems to be a national shortage of that type of medication, especially Adderall.

[@EchoByrnes]

Ok, just a funny medical story from a random person on the internet: when I was in my first year of highschool, my right cheek swelled up like I was trying to smuggle a Mandarin Orange through customs. It was sore, but it wasn't terrible, funnily enough. I went to the emergency room and they pretty much took me back as soon as they saw me, fearing I had a massive pocket of infection in my cheek. They *did not* ask me my pain level, they just pushed the good stuff. (They may have asked my mom because I was having trouble speaking, and she exaggerates everything.) Basically, I ended up having a blockage in my salivary gland, and that was basically just backed up saliva, but by the time they found that out I was in an episode of Star Trek

[@M3D1C2121]

One of the nice things about my psych is that they have a dedicated refill number you call and leave your name and your medication you need refilled and they usually have the prescription refilled by end of day, or the next day.

[@whiterabbit75]

Zach: At what point has anything I've talked about, sounded fun? Guy: You sounded pretty excited when you got to play around with the grenade launcher... Zach: (>ლ)

[@Sundaeys]

Zach’s ADHD experience is basically mine. Couldn’t keep on meds for most of my life because I’d forget to take them, bought a pill organizer, taken them every day for months now.

[@Gigaknight1]

Zach speaks of being on Adderall, and I know immediately the difficulties. I too am on Adderall, I relate, prescriptions can be tough to get refilled for no reason.

[@DrMalpractice2]

My grandpa was in Vietnam during the war, and was exposed to agent orange. His bones are partially fused together and he's slowly losing the use of his body, it's an awful thing that does happen.

[@2-Way_Intersection]

the only times ive ever thought a out going into the military was when i was like 10 and wanted an excuse to play with guns. by the time i hit high school, i knew i was not the type for that, but could still understand it for the jock types. every story i hear from zah makes me more and more convinced that i would rather be homeless in a ditch than be in the military. at least there, i could be seen as a person. plus, i have a vr headset now, if i wanna play with guns, ill boot up boneworks or h3vr edit: also, its really funny that the source for basically every area 51 conspiracy was just from the government refusing to say 'its a thing.' like, i doubt anyoe would have ever cared if they had just said it was real at first, but here we are.

[@soupcangaming662]

be homeless in a ditch vs be homeless in a ditch with PTSD and bone problems "not service-related"

[@Gunanest]

some guy: throws his rifle out the window Zach: "patrolling the swamp almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter"

[@Lazerman1234]

Thank you for blessing us with another long form campfire story🙏🏻

[@spooky4124]

12:00 Helicopter pilot is a great choice. They send you to Fort Polk and you just take off flying!

[@VikingArelius]

Took 50 years to acknowledge my uncle getting poisoned by Agent Orange in Vietnam. After he had a massive stroke and was bedridden for the rest of his life where he died a slow, painful death.

[@hariman7727]

Reason number "I've lost count" to NOT trust the government, bureaucracies, and especially not government bureaucracies.

[@thegentlemanpirate13]

I love when you add some additional stuff with the editing. It's not just you standing there talking, you include stuff like the military higher-ups watching you from their screens. It's neat.

[@redmercer4158]

Imagine getting in trouble for pissing cold on a drug test

[@crocidile90]

@20:00 my scout master was a tunnel rat (like MACV-SOG) and out of his group that was "showered" with agent orange, he was the luckiest because all it did was make his pancreas no longer function in his 50's unlike other people who even had kids with birth defects.

[@Maosn1290]

Zach's reason for wanting to join sounds so much like my own childhood.

[@ravenreaper754]

Just listened to the entire CoD Zombies storyline last night while working, and in that Groom Lake is a testing site of Element 115, so hearing Zach mention it without knowing that its area 51 was wild for a second

[@Kalijah2020]

i'm glad to see this series is still going

[@WaterDragonGames4]

Now that im in the Army i understand and enjoy so much more of this. Also, i'm in AIT for 68W, and i already know that some of my fellow medics are going to be EXACTLY how you described medica

[@bakomusha]

Dinosaurs and autistic levels of obsessions with guns! That was me as a kid! Also my grandfather was a WW2 vet so I was raised on stories of the great adventure that was killing Nazi's. I first wanted to join the Airforce and fly bombers cause of my grandpa, then I was told I was colorblind. Then I wanted to be an Artillerymen, then I was diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder, and my life absolutely fell apart. I really dodge a bullet, cause I would have been first wave in Iraq if I had.

[@toxiclakerfan4304]

Navy put me in brand new barracks that had only been there a year. My shower had black mold when I got there and the caulk was peeling. My fault apparently. I applied for bah on shore duty and my chain sat on it for 2 weeks and I could get bah anymore due the barracks percentage dropping. Two examples of why the navy can be annoying asf

[@kennethpeterson7524]

Mike, you can feel proud for being a Marine Corporal. That meant you were an NCO, whereas army corporals are enlisted

[@soupcangaming662]

Non-Competent Officer

[@flatbomber7883]

Only a few months ago did my grandfather who was in the NAVY during Vietnam away from the shore was finally given money for agent orange exposure. He was on a ship, never in a combat zone and still was affected. I feel bad for those who were on the ground and never got the help they need

[@ToastyMozart]

In Boy Scouts they called the arms-out line search after breaking camp the "FOD Walk." I assume they picked the name up from the nearby Air Force base.

[@Sunrie]

I lived in a condemned building in Ft Lewis as well. Brick fell off the building one day and almost killed visitors. They didn't move us

[@insanegaming613]

Hey word of advice try and see if you can switch from aderal that has a high and is easily sold to methylphenidate which does not have the same effects. Also see if you can get someone other than a doctor to do your meds it can make it much easier and see them once a month so if you are low you can get a refill plus seeing someone in person can make getting those drugs a lot easier from my own personal experiences with having ADHD. I also feel your pain about forgetting to do shit I am the same and it is very hard for other people.

[@Happy-sh8yx]

You just reminded me to call my prescription in , thanks

[@secktur8279]

Dont join the military, dont go to a 4 year school, go to a trade school. Trades need able bodies, pay well, and are fulfilling satisfying work.

[@novaiscool1]

My great uncle died of agent orange related cancers back in the 90s. According to my grandmother the Army wouldn't accept any fault for it unless my family shipped his body to DC for a "special doctor" on our own dime. Then IF they find enough evidence of agent orange exposure they would compensate them and pay to ship him back to us, if they didn't "find" enough evidence they would not only get nothing and be left with the bill to ship his body home to us. My great grandparents decided that it was not financially reasonable at that time and a VA doctor told them that he hadn't heard of anyone actually being compensated for the mess.

[@EyItsZay]

My dad was exposed to the burn pits in Iraq, and caused him to develop brain cancer. Just this year he was able to get full disability for it. USA, baby...

[@STUNT_GRANNY]

I did try to join the military when I was 18, because I was facing homelessness, and I remember my high school making a big show of the signing bonuses that a bunch of my classmates were getting. But I was rejected for having club feet that kept me from wearing approved footwear. All these years later, though, I'm in a much better place, and these stories help remind me of all the bullets (literal and metaphorical) I've dodged.

[@yaboiglob7209]

17:30 is almost exactly what happened to one of my dads highschool best friends i can't remeber where he was stationed but he got poisioning from something and died while the army did nothing to help him RIP Bow

[@DarthVinatiss]

I just got the notification for this video while listening to Markiplier talk about HIS ADHD prescription problems

[@Mattsothelioma]

Oh my god I can already tell I finally have one to relate to because getting my adderal was a real struggle around the pandemic. It was just a massive pain in the ass. If my memory serves the shortage was because a bunch of people became restless because they were stuck and *thought* they had adhd…

[@Jarl3169]

This still baffles me apparently there was a huge shortage that I never noticed somehow even tho I live in bumfuck nowhere our supply of ADHD meds never got low, glad it didn't but it's just suprises me cuz everywhere online whenever someone mentions ADHD meds especially amphetamines a bunch of people post about how hard it is to get and the shortage I'm like "is there seriously a shortage dang glad it didn't hit here" lol is it still a problem?

[@random.junk1e710]

11:45 you underestimate how dumb/crazy people are

[@tehnarelhok718]

I have an arm across america story of my own. So, it was the first field exercise I was a part of, and I had gotten attached to an aviation unit in Hawaii. We were doing flights at night, and some officer didn't properly strap in his pistol while on a helicopter, and it obviously fell somewhere into the jungle below. We spent the next several days searching for this fucking thing, and the higherups were telling us that the person to find it would get a 4 day pass. I dont think we ever did find it...

[@sazr9569]

Day 3 of asking Zach and Mike to play Baldurs gate 3: please play baldurs gate 3 together

[@creepercthulhu591]

I know and feel your pain Zach. I go through the same thing.

[@random.junk1e710]

i feel that cottonmouth story. me and my homies were drinking and smoking in a creek like 2 miles from their house. we decided to go a little further up it, take maybe 10 steps and the one farthest up goes "FUCK BABY SNAKE FUCK THAT" and books it to the shore and i stg i've never jumped out of the water so fast in my life. it was balled up like 5 feet from me maybe. we all ripped out the water and booked it a good 25 feet through branches and vines before we stopped and agreed we done with the water for the day 😭

[@Ovokor]

We had to PMCS some vehicles and I walk up to a Humvee and the engine was gone. There is an entire check list you have to do that if the engine is gone you cant do. So I deadlined the vehicle. Leadership got pissed and sent someone else to check, yep engine still missing. The amount of paperwork a deadline vehicle requires from management is amazing. lol