Shame & Humiliation after a manic episode + 36 week preggo update

[@kathleenr.9406]

This does hit so close to home. I think about my manic episode on a daily basis. I’m an attorney and I sent these insane emails to people I worked with and the courthouse. I was thankfully not on social media but I was arrested too and that news spread all in my professional circle. I was single when this happened last year and I wondered if anyone would ever want me. The whole thing is so mortifying. I too lost friends. There are people who don’t want to deal with me because my mental illness makes me a pariah. I have been called bat shit crazy. I too lacked boundaries with my clients but I wonder if this is a bipolar trait. It is absolutely horrible to think of what became of me but I wouldn’t change any of it because the blessings I have received have outweighed how horrible the experience was. I still have nightmares of being in a locked facility and not being able to get out but all I can do is advocate for better more compassionate treatment of the mentally ill as opposed to the treatment we received which traumatized us more.

[@MeganAmaya]

♥️♥️♥️ thank you for sharing Kathleen! We have so much in common! All this has made us stronger and shown us our true people. Hurtful in the moment but a blessing in the end!!

[@TallGrass44]

I know it’s 3 years later, nut thanks for sharing your story. BOTH of you. Is life better for you two now? My heart breaks for the OP.

[@makingit7792]

You just helped someone a lot. Thank you! You have a huge ❤️ heart. God holds you close.

[@MeganAmaya]

Thank you so much! You’re so sweet 💖

[@tonymedina6493]

I drove 110mph on highway and it felt like 50mph. Just could not get enough of that psycho mania feeling. I was also arrested during manic episode and police took me to jail instead of the hospital. In jail my angry “manic” out bursts led to having my water shut off. I was forced to drink toilet water for 15hrs and given no food, clothes, medication or basic human care. I was so crazy angry that I wrote “f*** you” with feces backwards (so they could read from other side) on the large window. The sheriff’s were so appalled and intrigued that they took pictures. I was wrongfully arrested for two days until posting $2,000 bail on false charges that were eventually dismissed after 7 court dates (two years). I received no treatment, assistance or simple apology while losing two days of my life and $2,000 for my manic episode. I’m just blessed the police didn’t shoot and kill me during the episode like many others who lose their lives every single day. Mania can be deadly so please take medication or see a psychiatrist because my depression (crash) lasted 3 months. Sorry, just being completely honest and I never knew I was bipolar until last month…God Bless!

[@MeganAmaya]

Thank you for sharing your story! Mine is so similar. I appreciate you 🩷 feels really good to relate to others and not feel alone

[@buzzy524]

Watching you discuss your episodes and the consequences from them helps my recovery process so much. I strained relationships and fell into debt as a result of my first experience with mania with psychosis. I wasn't in control during it, but I know being self-accountable is important for moving forward. It just hurts a lot. Your videos give me hope that I can reach my financial and educational goals in the future and making my BD I part of my life story rather it just being a "death sentence" like you said. Thank you!

[@MeganAmaya]

Wow thank you for this wonderful comment! It means everything to me that my videos are helping you and giving you hope! Hang on- it does get better ! I promise. I didn’t see how I was ever gonna be happy or free ever again cuz I was so low, humiliated, embarrassed- all of it. Things will fall into place and everything will be ok. Just keep taking steps forward! Always here xoxo

[@alyceday4989]

You are an amazing human. Sharing your story helps so many people. You are going to be such an amazing mom. This little girl is so loved. Xoxo boo

[@MeganAmaya]

I love you ❤️💕 thank you so much!! I can’t wait to meet her !!!

[@jonesilvasilva]

Hey there, congratulations on your video and channel. It's truly impactful for many. I resonate with your journey as I too navigate bipolar disorder and ADHD comorbidities. It's been quite the uphill battle, but I've found stability over the past year by diligently following my psychiatrist and psychologist's guidance. It's transformed my life, proving that a fulfilling, "normal" life is achievable with the right support and commitment to self-care. I want to emphasize the importance of maintaining regular sessions with both your psychologist and doctor. Never underestimate the power of this dual support system. Remember, you're never alone in this. Your resilience is inspiring, and though I'm thousands of miles away in South America, I genuinely wish you continued progress and wellness. I personally find great solace in my weekly sessions with my psychologist and monthly visits to my doctor. It's a routine that grounds me and fosters growth. With the right medication and therapy, I've been able to be incredibly productive. As an attorney, I work extensively, and yes, with treatment, it's entirely possible to live a better life. Keep pushing forward, and know that every step counts. Your channel has truly resonated with me, and I'm grateful for the opportunity to connect, despite the distance. Wishing you all the best on your journey.

[@MeganAmaya]

Thank you so much for your kind comment. It means the world to me. Thank you thank you 🩷🩷🩷

[@gianna1109]

I really appreciate you for sharing your experience and story. I relate so much and it feels really comforting knowing I’m not alone. Shame from my manic episodes is something I struggle with intensely. This video has helped me so much. Thank you 💖

[@MeganAmaya]

Thank you so much for this nice comment ♥️ it means a lot to me! You aren’t alone! I share because I felt SO ALONE when I went through everything. I didn’t know anyone personally with Bipolar Disorder! Feeling shame is a natural part of the disease but it helps lessen the shame when we can talk about it and shed light on the illness ♥️

[@fiddleandsqueak6504]

I have been recovering at home since spending a month in hospital from a second Bipolar manic episode. It’s an illness that I’ve accepted will always be with me. Watching this video has been really inspiring as I now know that others have made it through & I can too.

[@MeganAmaya]

Thank you Jules!! I’m so happy My video has helped you realize you can make it through! I’m sorry about your recent episode- I know how painful and difficult it is to recover!! You will get through it !! Keep taking baby steps forward and eventually you will feel so much better! Sending you love and good vibes 😘💕🙏🏻

[@agnesm_23]

I relate to so much of what you said in this video. It helped me a lot, loved the analogy at the end of letting go of whatever is just not happening naturally anymore! Thank you!

[@MeganAmaya]

Of course! I’m so happy you liked my video!! We are in this together 🙌🏻♥️🥰

[@Kay-mn6mp]

Omg this is so unbelievably relatable. I am pregnant right now with my first child and you have brought so much comfort to me knowing that I am not the only one that has gone through this in my past and present.

[@MeganAmaya]

🩵🩵🩵🩵

[@deenibeeniable]

all day every day. "I am terrified by this dark thing That sleeps in me; All day I feel its soft, feathery turnings, its malignity." -- Sylvia Plath.

[@DeepakKumarPSIR]

Thanks for sharing. I appreciate your courage.❤

[@MeganAmaya]

Of course 🩷🩷 thank you so much for this nice comment 😊

[@siriusstarlight9881]

I hope your baby angel has arrived here on earth safely! She picked you to be her mother, always remember you live for two now 💕 Proud mother of a 14 year old Mensa teenage boy. I’m bipolar 2, 34 female. Never give up! ❤️🙏😇♾

[@MeganAmaya]

She is here! Born on her due date 🥰 12/9! Gonna be doing a birth story video soon! Just trying to adjust to motherhood first 😂 thank you for sharing and thank you for the kind comment! I will never give up/ we are all in this together ❤️

[@jamielauro2623]

Your beautiful thank you for going over this I have more shame in a depressive episode

[@MeganAmaya]

Thank you so much!! I’m glad you found me and can relate🩷🩷 sending love

[@gunsANDraybans12]

I relate so much to this , thanks for sharing your story

[@MeganAmaya]

Of course !!!! Thank you so much 😊

[@mariasal8793]

Beautiful

[@MeganAmaya]

Thank you ♥️

[@littlewoodchopper2659]

Third video and your telling my story

[@MeganAmaya]

I’m so happy we can relate! It brings me comfort 🩵

[@ratahtooie]

I totally relate to this

[@MeganAmaya]

🩷🩷🩷

[@wizardofahhhs759]

I have a question...why does a bipolar person in a relationship have to step outside of the partnership? Is it impossible for the bipolar person's mate to satisfy them sexually?

[@MeganAmaya]

I don’t feel like it’s a fair statement to say all bipolar people cheat on their spouse / significant other. Hypersexuality can definitely be a symptom but isn’t the case for everyone diagnosed with bipolar disorder ! If you’re dealing with that I’m so sorry 😞

[@wizardofahhhs759]

You wanna hear embarrassing!? My wife made a video of her playing with herself and sent it to the guy she was cheating on me with, he turned around and posted it all over the Internet.

[@MeganAmaya]

I’m sorry you experienced that! I don’t feel like all people with bipolar disorder should be labeled as “cheaters” everybody is different. However it sounds like you’ve been hurt and for that I’m very sorry! I hope your healing journey is good 😊

[@wizardofahhhs759]

@@MeganAmaya Well, if she would have put in as much effort figuring out how to f**k me as she did him I'd probably feel a little different about it. I wouldn't call planning out how to spend an entire day with another guy an"impulse"