Men Ignore Red Flags In Women & It's Making Things Worse

[@daveblackman816]

If a woman doesn’t laugh with you, ride or die with you, isn’t by your side at your best and worst; she isn’t worth it. Dating apps have totally changed the culture sadly.

[@ibashcommunists6847]

Stupid women needs to be ignored. Go your own way, get ur passport and marry somebody else abroad.

[@KonkeyDong968]

Some of the shi(r)t and low times my parents went thru (getting laid off w/ a 3rd kid on the way, Mom working 3 P/T jobs to help make ends meet, my Dad eating what was left to dinner after a 12 hr day so his kids can eat better than he did growing up etc). I appreciate the sacrifices they made for me and my brothers. Women nowadays who talk about them being "Bad B-words" and "Boss Babe" can't hold no candle to women and mothers from 1990 and before. My Mom and the Mom's of my friends growing up were the OG Bad B-words.

[@Thatdud3]

Your DP makes this comment a level better than it already is my friend

[@Joel-pg4yi]

She is but for very limited time

[@ryandeffley7652]

Really great comment! 💯

[@basslover1345]

I am a 60 yrs old man who walked away from a 29 years marriage right in the beginning of the pandemic because I had enough of her narcissism. I went through a difficult time but I am in a better place now with new house and everything in place. Trying to find a good woman to share my life but it is very very difficult. I keep myself as young as I can, and open heart and mind. I fill like the longer I stay single more scared and selective I became. Woman nowadays wants man to give them security without them bringing anything that makes me feel safe and have a peaceful life with the time that I have left. I think peace, maturity is the most important thing to look for in a person.

[@_Martine_]

Stop looking for a good woman be the good woman yourself , be a crossdresser .

[@basslover1345]

@@_Martine_ it is not because you turned in a woman that every body has to do it. I know who I am and what I need. 😂 good luck being a woman

[@_Martine_]

@Bass Lover trust me you would have more 🐱 that you can handle it , im crossdressing , I can easy sleep with women without even putting much effort, I just don't sleep with them because I'm not a perverted or want to abuse the power but some open to me and pretty much just want a man who can paid their way in life.

[@basslover1345]

@@_Martine_ unfortunately this world is full of people with a empty head and heart. Seek please need help

[@_Martine_]

@Bass Lover I don't need help you need help you are the one the one is looking for a good woman you have nothing to offer except your money, but if you play the game , you would fine women that really like you for you. Right now im hanging out with a beautiful girl , she can easy get most men but they are only going to use her because all she has is her beauty to offer.

[@VeryAwesomeSheep]

Being alone is way better than being with someone who makes you want to be alone

[@danjenkins21]

Amen!

[@LordHolley]

Tell me about it!

[@samohtlion]

Been there. Got the postcard!

[@majorbloodnok7127]

Been there, done that

[@three5581]

*Modern women* (generation of feminism): have no value *Traditional women* (generation of submissiveness 100 years ago): offer more to men

[@jzwalz51robin45]

Being alone is different from feeling lonely.

[@Mrs.Deanna_Ember]

Well said 👍

[@jericoba]

Oh, absolutely.

[@Matanumi]

Good wordplay

[@pinetworkminer8377]

Best comment ever!

[@hastensavoir7782]

Being alone for TOO LONG can get lonely.

[@PepeToTheMooon]

Ignoring red flags is why being a divorce lawyer is such a high paying job.

[@zenar30]

Damn right, if it wasn't for being engineer, I'd do that

[@ilai7893]

Same with being delusional and marrying one of Courtney's interviewee friends $$$$$, if the guy doesn't mean her expectations she gon walk!

[@Jacob_J_Green]

As Metallica would said: "Sad but true"

[@wecx2375]

No, it's the laws on the books.

[@D_Jilla]

Oof

[@pholdenxx1]

I am almost 30 and never been kissed, much less been out on a date. Growing up I have always been given labels, disgusting names and mostly ghosted. I find it hard to keep my standards high and find the right partner.

[@tancreddehauteville764]

Damn right.

[@MEHTbl_MHE_HE_KEHTbl]

You are lucky, later you'll understand.

[@brianmccauley339]

Praying for new beginnings for you ..contentment and grace

[@novaseline4u]

I can definitely relate. I don't have quite the lack of experiences that you state you have, but it's close.... and I will be 70 this year. Have not dated since age 30, and NO relationships. I went my own way some time around age 35, and went solidly MGTOW at 40... before it was a "thing". One thing I have learned is that women become vastly different creatures, depending on who is interacting with them. Around Chad, they can be Traci Lords. Now, I am very short, 5 foot 3, and I don't resemble George Clooney in any way. Not surprisingly, I never got Traci. I got Medusa, and then ignored. My young life was miserable, and I nearly did not survive it, but I have since decided that for me, women just are not worth it.

[@Firesword534]

100% agree with you that men need to have standards and not just go for anything. Before I met my wife I started working with a woman who was attractive, had a few similar interests, and seemed to be easy to talk to. Then I really started to pay attention. Found out quickly she had some habits that were red flags for me and after the initial "be nice when meeting someone" phase kind of wore off I quickly found out she had a pretty abrasive personality. To this day I'm glad I never pursued anything further with her as I'm sure it would have made my life miserable. Fast forward a few months from meeting that woman and I met a charming beautiful young lady who not only met but exceeded the standards I had set for myself when looking for some one to be in a relationship with. We've been married for nine years now. Guys I know it's hard out there. Stay strong for you and for those who come into your life. There are still good women out there. It's not all doom and gloom.

[@shaybapple]

You should always have high standards for yourself no matter what you do in life, including with women. Never sacrifice your dignity to be with someone who sucks.

[@undefinedvariable8085]

Where or how did you meet your wife if you don't mind me asking?

[@Firesword534]

@@undefinedvariable8085 At her college. We had both gone to a student improv comedy show. Mutual friends were on the cast and we met while standing around talking in the same circle afterwards.

[@minabotieso6944]

@@Firesword534well college is over for a lot of us

[@Firesword534]

@@minabotieso6944 Maybe so, but there's still plenty of places to meet people outside of a dating app. The gym, adult education classes, various clubs, houses of worship, volunteering activities. Yes it's hard and it requires effort, but it's also still possible.

[@CommentorX]

I've been alone for years. I've saved thousands of dollars on first dates. I can cook a nice dinner for two at home. I don't need to spend $150 + tip to sit in a dimly lit restaurant and talk.

[@firstnamelastname9955]

You *couldn't care less.... You care *so* little that there is not a smaller amount of care that you could provide.

[@CommentorX]

@@firstnamelastname9955 Thank you for pointing out my grammar. I edited my comment to be reader friendly. 😁

[@chandidasmishra6514]

"The red flags you ignore in the beginning are often the reasons things don't work out in the end anyway"- Well said.

[@sleazybtd]

Ignored red flags in the beginning are the things that will cause it to end, and in the middle will be a lot of pain.

[@HeavyMetals1969]

There is nothing wrong with forgetting the whole parade of meeting someone, dating, finding a mate. Go climb mountains, learn how to fly, find out what you really love about life. That is where you will find yourself.

[@frenchfan3368]

Yes, I agree but disagree. Finding and pursuing hobbies are great, but guys should not just ignore dating altogether just because it has become extremely complicated and frustrating in the twenty first century.

[@historyandhorseplaying7374]

@@frenchfan3368 I think you missed his point- during the course of pursuing your hobbies and interests and business and pursuits, you are going to meet all kinds of women, in non-dating situations. These women will already have a lot in common with you, and you get to observe them and interact with them in everyday non-dating situations for months or years first. That’s where people have met their mates for hundreds of years. Beats trying to go to a bar to meet random people or worse, use an app.

[@frenchfan3368]

@@historyandhorseplaying7374 No, I don't think I missed his point or perhaps I did. I'm just saying there are too many guys (including myself in the past) who become fully jaded with the dating scene and just abandon it altogether. Ignoring dating altogether is not the answer and neither is putting all your effort into it either.

[@minabotieso6944]

For everyone who truly thinks that, what are you doing on a dating advice KZbin channel?

[@minabotieso6944]

@@historyandhorseplaying7374that’s not his point, his point is that being single is not a big deal and there’s more to life than getting a girlfriend. Your point is dumb because in many men’s circumstances no the women aren’t going to magically come to you

[@aleidius192]

I think the decline in social skills generally has some bad downstream effects. Being comfortable talking to fewer and fewer women creates an artificial scarcity. So when the rare case comes up when a girl is actually willing to talk to him, the dude is on that like white on rice even if the rice is crazy.

[@oglocbaby520]

In an ideal set of circumstances, men would be regularly talking to many different woman that are also into them as well. The problem is that most men have very few real opportunities to meet or interact with women that are also into them as well, as you mentioned. Then when they finally do meet a woman that seems into them they become easily hooked on her and ignore red flags, are more willing/likely to put up with nonsense, etc. A lot of guys could literally go months or even years without a single date with a woman. It's a reason why many are glued to the one's they are in relationships with because of this fear. To make things worse, many women are quite aware of how easy it would be for them to meet another man. I've heard stories from other men about women they are with saying stuff like how they could have another man lined up within a week. It's a super messed up thing to say to a man you are with but it's absolutely true lol.

[@minabotieso6944]

I hate this kind of statement. Adults out of college in car dependent America are not regularly meeting tons and tons of new people. We are very isolated in the US with few truly public spaces. The social skills aspect is played up too much. If you were in the situation where you are regulars meeting tons of new women then none of this would be an issue

[@Will-fr9hg]

For real though the girls I’ve talked to don’t have add much real value to a conversation. It’s usually benign hollow talk not about real subjects. Same experience anyone?

[@ViPER5RT10]

@@Will-fr9hg girls have dull personalities. Especially the pretty ones. I have way more fun and way more engaging conversations with dudes. Some females feel like I’m talking to a damn child.

[@joshua50101]

@@Will-fr9hg yeap. Gotta agree on that 100%

[@eddievalino8074]

I'm 37 and dating 15 years ago in my twenties was alot easier to meet women. During the times of no dating apps and we still had flip up phones and actually had to put in an effort to meet someone. The world's changed so much and I mean that in a negative way, in terms of the dating world

[@lubnan08]

Agreed

[@johngonzalez4298]

100%

[@NealIRC]

False. It's been the same. Women still go to nightclubs and such. But I'm an incel, it's just women are more likely to be on their phones on public transportation than looking out the windows. I use the Internet to get known by women, even if I'm not in msging with them.

[@MiguelMedV]

@@NealIRC Why do you call yourself an Incel?...

[@amodernalchemist432]

@@MiguelMedV Incel means he is involuntarily celibate.

[@SurgicalStrike41]

"And I also think a lot of men are ignoring red flags because of a woman's beauty, which I understand, but then you end up bamboozled by some crazy person." Most of us make that mistake at least once but yes, some guys just keep doing this over and over again. They either never learn or they just can't help themselves.

[@brent4073]

Women do it too. Often those domestic abusers are really jacked, good looking bad boys that women love to hate. Both sides are guilty to getting involved with toxic good looking people.

[@Mrs.Deanna_Ember]

Yes, theres lots of women aswell that equally get with the most horrible types because subconsciously they feel like thats all they can hope for

[@thatHARVguy]

@@Mrs.Deanna_Ember Or worse, "I can change him/her." 🤦‍♂

[@Mrs.Deanna_Ember]

@@thatHARVguy oof yeah, that's an awful cycle.., I went through that phase myself in my early twenties. Later on down the road I realized I was just hooking up with guys who were MORE damaged than I was to mitigate my own issues that i was ignoring at the time, while feeling like i could nurse their own wounds somehow. Looking back i cant even believe it, i mean I've dated guys who maybe weren't physically that attractive but had an awesome personality, but those ones had neither lol

[@mrwayne6277]

Cost of a bouquet of roses: $45 Cost of a first date: $200 Knowing when to walk away from red flags: Priceless

[@deathblaizer]

Pretty sure it’s after you smash that.

[@nathanlamont9920]

Paying 200 on a girl who don't really know yet is your fault. Up your game.

[@paulcooper5748]

@@deathblaizer Smash and dash.

[@Yamaazaka]

More like no flowers bc theyre cliche. And a first casual date can be like 30-40 bucks.

[@danielm4949]

I really like this video. Toxic, disrespectful, entitled, and super selfish women will gladly make your life worse than if you were to be alone. Ignoring red flags, eliminating standards, and disposing of discernment will only create more chaos and deeper heartache. Courtney, you are right on 💯

[@nutcracker247]

Yeah. This video is 100% accurate. Dating can be so difficult, we do feel like we have to ignore red flags sometimes, because options are limited. This really sucks.

[@ebrowntaylor1]

You're so right. The truth is these women have an allusion of an "abundance of options." Most of these guys thirsting after them could truly care less about them.

[@TSierra]

A lot of men (and women) ignore red flags or sometimes don’t know about red flags. It’s super important for us to learn about red flags because if your partner is giving you a lot of red flags, it’s time for you to go.

[@GangdamStyle20]

Sry, the red flag concept is BS. Everyone has red flags because we are just human. Instead we should just accept some red flags or even more carzy actually work on them TOGETHER!!!

[@dillonc7955]

@@GangdamStyle20 Depends if it's a small red flag or a big red flag. If the girl I'm dating has a bit of a budgeting problem, I'd gladly address it and work out a better budget with her. However if she's running me broke while she goes to the mall every other week, and goes into denial when you try addressing the situation, that's a red flag you can't just coexist with your entire life.

[@GangdamStyle20]

@@dillonc7955 Totally agree. The problem is that WOMEN see red flags everywhere. In contrast they don't see their own red falgs at all...

[@deltaxcd]

If you select partner according to love then love is unconditional and flags dot matter even if that person is pure demon spawn that will change nothing. On the other hand if you are choosing partner according to calculations then it is a gigantic red flag by itself that your relationships will end badly.

[@GangdamStyle20]

@@deltaxcd You confuse butterflies with love. Nobody is in love with a demon, to have butterflies for a demon, absolutely possible...

[@Rizzy_K]

Dated a girl for 2 years and then got engaged for 1, so 3 years together. When we first met, she wasn’t the most conservative with her clothes, and it was often an obstacle for us (well for me I guess). After the first 2 years and after getting engaged, she became more conservative, however after I went through a temporary struggle with graduate school, she left a week later and went back to wearing non conservative clothes. I should’ve known from the get go but I learned that you can’t change a women unless she wants to.

[@RR-et6zp]

same goes with people

[@Irish_all_day]

Just broke up with a girl that I've been dating for almost three months. I'm guilty of ignoring some of these red flags. She literally called herself a brat in a conversation we had 🚩. She's a good person though just not very mature. We were just starting to invest in eachothers families and lives more. She also kept mentioning how her jewish parents wanted her to dating a jewish man however im not jewish. We were planning dates right up till the day before we parted. She went to her parents the following day and made the call. She gave no valid reason, she didn't even have the courage to actually break up. I didn't beg her to stay together, i said if we aren't in this together then it's not going to work. Maybe it was the religion thing or maybe she just wasn't feeling it. Just do yourself a favor gents, don't turn a blind eye to things just because we like someone. Keep your heads up and keep dating. Don't stop being a good / nice human being just to attract a toxic woman. It only takes one gents. Be good!

[@nocapnobs7845]

41 year old here, religion excuse is a farce. She just didn't fancy you anymore, most men are too easy, I totally get it now in my age. We're too AVAILABLE, too predictable, too easy to manipulate ie. we're not fun! Most of us think you either have to be an a-hole or a doormat. All you need to be is more difficult=more disagreeable, not for the sake of being disagreeable but because you have boundaries, values, virtues, code of ethics, congruencies etc. which if any of us did in our 20s/30s we would not be interested in 99% of them lol but we throw all these out just to get with someone. Either way young man, i would say, focus on yourself/build your empire and when you're 35-38 then start lookin for 26-28 year old to take seriously.

[@icm65]

Yea religions…if she is looking for a religion type and you’re not it…get out immediately. You’ll be battling her and her Familia and friends who might share that religion forever. Been there done that..

[@mahditaherifard9981]

Beggers can't be choosers. My therapist told me to be less picky when it comes to dating to be able to find someone. When I finally found someone after two years of searching, she turned out to be a pathological liar. Then my therapist told me to be more picky after two years of wasted effort. 😂😂 it's a lose-lose game, I'm going MGTOW...

[@jodizellmer994]

That therapist sounds very unprofessional, and should've lost her license.

[@JasonMoir]

I've said it before and will say again: I'd much rather be alone and happy compared to being in a bad relationship and miserable.

[@frankcardano4142]

I’m the latter right now. 😢

[@CourtneyRyan]

As you should!

[@Primitive_Code]

Many of us guys have only one option and that's to stay alone.

[@markymarknj]

@@Primitive_Code NAILED IT!

[@shaunharkin1928]

This may be an odd thing to say, but I worry if there are so many people of all genders opting for being alone, will that lead to a dangerous decrease in population/population growth?

[@josephbrown4768]

It's great to lift weights at the gym listening to your videos. Trying to be my best self before trying to find a lady. Thank you Courtney for what you do!

[@wizard5233]

Described my two exes and me ignoring the red flags only because I was happy to finally be dating someone. It didn't help that my guy friends (who are all in long term relationships), would tell me some red flags were "normal" because "my wife does that". Makes me question if they chose the right partners.

[@PaperRaines]

Everybody's got a different threshold for tolerance and temperament, plus you'll never know what really happens between two people in a relationship in private. Your friends could be completely lying to you or omitting things about their relationship. Don't bother making comparisons or correlaries to them, it won't add up.

[@moleahy6880]

Without specifics as to what the Red flags are, it's impossible to know the truth. For any relationship to prosper, three things must be present - shared values, shared goals, and mutual respect. If a Red Flag is that one of these doesn't exist, then that relationship is doomed to fail, sooner or later.

[@pavel_tsys]

I get you there mate, same thing happened to me. And this guy friend of mine is still married on a woman he can openly tell 'to go f*ck off' and it is normal in their family. Meh.

[@scott8934]

My personal big picture hypothesis for why people are largely single lately is individualism and isolation. After a lot of introspection I’ve found that I would rather be single than date someone who doesn’t share values. I’ve become so self regulating that often the thought of a relationship seems like more con than pro, and I’m not sure I could be there emotionally for someone else. Couple that with working from home and you have a really hard time meeting people.

[@undefinedvariable8085]

Great insight. And I can relate, in the same boat, moseying on down the same river.

[@ajtaylor8750]

That comment couldn't be more true and it's sad to see with some guys trying to cure their loneliness. Having someone to share your life with is totally normal, but doing it at the expense of overlooking red flags and obvious indicators of a bad match isn't worth the pain it'll cause you in the long haul. It's better to be alone than to be with a woman who is a nightmare of a partner.

[@TSierra]

Facts, I agree. I would rather be alone than to be with a woman who’s a nightmare.

[@CourtneyRyan]

Absolutely agree!

[@braddockakalatis2]

@@CourtneyRyan Hi Courtney, Please have Jimmy Song on your show to discuss the root of the problem...thx. kzbin.info/www/bejne/l56lp4OufrGId5o

[@drewhessler4698]

I can't lie, I've ignored a good amount of red flags bc I just really don't want to restart and find a new girl. But it never works and I always regret it. Listen to your gut fellas, know your worth.

[@robertcaviness5300]

And don’t forget how social media has caused this “grasses always greener” mindset with women, if shit isn’t exactly how she envisions it then she’s on to the next one that she thinks is some kind of upgrade (which in my experience is not a upgrade but she doesn’t figure this out until she’s totally destroyed the relationship she is leaving )

[@DutchDansing]

and her pair bonding ability goes down as her body count increases...

[@andersnielsen6044]

@@DutchDansing Are you an islamist who only want virgins/kids?

[@DutchDansing]

@@andersnielsen6044 lol I'm atheist and I don't want kids

[@vfamezz9193]

Facts

[@aquacomplex513]

This video needs to go viral for all men in the world to see. Women have had the power of love and manipulation for too long. Dating apps and social reform needs to happen.

[@x-man5056]

You are 100% correct Courtney. The first comment you put up, unexplained the conundrum well. The Pavlovian response you described (the more men ignore Red Flag behavior, the more it happens) is occurring. Social media, dating apps, are making it worse by providing a vehicle that practically encourages the ill behavior. TikTok?, say no more. I do understand it. Men are not wired for celibacy. What's happening is NOT Feminism. It's just women acting horribly/ selfishly/stupidly to their own detriment as much as men's. IDK how this gets fixed. Eventually, we all die alone this way.

[@AgentAO7]

Thanks a lot Coutney for this. This came at the right time. I almost fell on to this trap & I’m starting to give up on dating women. I’m already in my late 30’s and I sometimes feel the pressure from other people especially family members & friends who keeps on asking why I’m still single. And by forcing things to happen, I always get blind-sided by women who have these red flags & sometimes completely ignoring it & giving the ladies a chance over and over again.. and it has become a cycle of wrong things which eventually pile up & I end up being unhappy.. But I’m not giving up hope that someday I would still meet that woman who would really compliment me.

[@pavel_tsys]

I am 38 as well, and mate I can tell you for sure - we will both get what we want, not what other want/force us to get! Keep in mind who YOU really want to have by your side, and keep looking. Life is not limited in cell phone (thank god), so offline meetings still perfectly possible - we just need to keep our eyes (and ears) wide open.

[@Ordell-L-Jackson]

Same here brother! In my early 30s & definitely feel the pressure from friends & family.

[@thecategoricalcringeperative]

Great video, Courtney, as always. I do want to say that I think men ignoring red flags is still a symptom rather than cause of these issues. You can't demand respect from others when you don't respect yourself. What's missing is that men (and women) today are alienated even from the ideas of respect, health, growth, honor, and overall "goodness" in their own lives, so, lonely to themselves, all they crave is some magical external validation that will fix everything, and they will be stuck there until they rekindle their relationship with themselves and their lives. When we do that, then demanding that others around us also live good lives comes as a natural consequence. Again, great thoughts and thanks for all you do.

[@ryandeffley7652]

Ultimately it's about setting boundaries and having the ability to stand by your beliefs and actually tell a woman "no". She has to know you'll walk away if she's disrespectful. I think it's 100% true that so many men are desperate for any sliver of female affection, that they're too easily manipulated.

[@FrakBeats]

This is true in my case. I dated a girl I knew was rittled with red flags. I kept it up against my better judgement because I thought she was cute and was admittedly lonely.

[@TradingTheta89]

33 y/o male here, 5'5''. For nearly 6 years, I've been actively looking for a girlfriend. Dating apps, going random places, doing random activities, talking to random people, working on myself - thinking I'm bound to run into someone. in those 6 years I've gone on 4 dates in total. Less than 10 matches through all the dating apps combined in the same time frame. Finally found someone who replied to my messages and seemed to be interested. We ended up dating for 6 months. She introduced me to her family and we had holiday dinners together. However, I was the only one ever initiating to hang out. She never told me she wanted to see me, or wanted to hang out. Things went great when together, but apart it felt like I was the last person she thought about. The last time I brought that up, it took a 15 minute talk for her to decide she wasn't really sure why she was like that and that she wanted to break up. She "wasn't treating me the way I deserved". The end result was a relapse in extreme sadness, loneliness and depression. There really is no hope for some of us.

[@deepthinker999]

There is hope, it's called a brotherhood. There are a lot of us out there so it should be easy for you to join.

[@walterparada1530]

It's really quite crazy how Courtney is giving this advice to men thinking that we have any options. We don't we are really getting screwed out here and that's why we are checking out of dating. The return on investment is not worth it. Modern dating is really quite depressing as a man.

[@prussiansocietyofamerica]

Of Course. Courtney is all in this for her own gains and not for the benefit of Men, but she is trying to give a false hope in Men and to make them still think that there are those who have empathy. She feigns empathy. Believe you me, she is with her Man all for his money, she is no fool in that. All of them are about the money only.

[@eazymethod01]

@@prussiansocietyofamerica Don't expect women to be our mothers. The trick is to only entertain someone who is totally interested in us rather than someone we have to work to impress. Basically men have to select from selectors, he cannot select and waste energy on the ones who are lukewarm.

[@prussiansocietyofamerica]

@@universal3024 100%. Glad you are also on top of it and see that just as well.

[@Adrian-yi8fl]

You do have an option though. If you can't find a woman who isn't going to treat you like dirt then opt out. It might not happen in our generation but if enough people do this eventually women will have to change. It is depressing but that's the reality of the situation.

[@biggerbitcoin5126]

Go abroad....and don't bring her to the western world....many men have done this and are happy

[@theguynextdoor4978]

The problem with online dating is that our impression of someone is often inaccurate. The only way to know if the chemistry is real is to meet in real life. Women often swipe themselves into their own dating demise. The best is to meet people the old-school way.

[@ronniestring182]

Well said sir, you need to meet up in person, or it is really just fantasy.

[@andrewbateman7534]

This really hit home with me. I do know two amazing women who are single, but I don't think they see me as more than a friend, if that. I do have standards, but I tend to lower my standards when I meet someone. Very few women meet my standards, and I realize this. I am not talking superficial, but things like kindness, caring, intelligence, humor, etc. I am at a point where I want to give up entirely. I swipe right liberally (on several apps), but I am lucky if I get one match per week, and she is usually a scammer, escort, or sugar baby. I only get a few legitimate matches per year, and I may not go out with any. The ones I do go out with are usually toxic. I went out with a woman last night who walked outside of the restaurant and left. I have not seen her since. No argument, etc. She was happy when she left. She said she was going outside to take a call from her mother.

[@bedtimestory1318]

🥺

[@maxhouse2409]

Don't you mean "mother" (note the quotes)?

[@SLRModShop]

What are you doing here exactly? This is not a rhetorical question. Say it out loud, with simple terms, describe in one simple sentence what you're trying to achieve here. You're trying to find a wife, on a dating app... Dating apps are like a 40 years old man watching anime, society has come to accept that but is it really acceptable? Is it? KZbin is filled with adult men talking in front of shelves filled with literal toys (btw, 40% of ALL toys are sold to adults... and not for their children...). No one says anything, it's the most banal thing. But is it really acceptable? My point is: Dating apps are hurting your chances, not increasing them Maybe I'm just fringe but if I was a woman, a man who uses dating apps would probably look to me like a guy with a complete set of Nintendo dolls... Again, maybe I'm the only one to see it that way but it's hard to think about something less manly than a guy on dating app... It doesn't take courage, you're not leading, you're anonymously swiping on a screen and waiting for the woman to pick you... Aren't we supposed to do the exact opposite? Aren't we supposed to pick a woman in a crowd and shoot our shot? I consider myself a pretty humble guy but my ego wouldn't let me download a dating app. I'd find it humiliating and I can't picture a good woman picking a man on a dating app, knowing that the guy had to humiliate himself just to be on there... Maybe it's just me, I'm 36 years old and already a thing from the past...

[@Gothicc_senpai]

@@SLRModShop dating apps and in real life dating is the same. women have options so why would they care if the same ugly guy asked them out in person

[@SLRModShop]

@@Gothicc_senpai Goth: emo bs thicc: internet meme senpai: anime trope None of what I said applied to you because nothing can hurt your chances at this point ^-^ My best regards to your pillow wife

[@davem3708]

Well said . Quick story. I divorced a horrible alcoholic. 2 Years ago. It took her 6 months to find a “serious “ boyfriend “ and from what I can tell she has done little to improve herself. Meanwhile I’ve put in ALOT of work to improve my life, a lot self reflection, journaling over 500 pages etc. I stil rarely get dates on dating apps. Frustrating.

[@PushingThroughThePain]

I can say from firsthand experience, this willingness to overlook red flags is TRUE! I did this 18 years ago, and continued doing it throughout my marriage to the point that my wife was pissed that I kicked her out to live with her boyfriend after she told me that she's been cheating... As to say I'd been accepting the rest of her BS to that point, how dare I NOT tolerate this too? 6 months later we're almost divorced, I have the kids so she can be free to be freaky and I can continue to be the responsible one. While I would like to find another woman to love, it's looking pretty scary out there... I got burned pretty bad, and I don't want to put my boys (8&11) through all that again, and with a woman who isn't even their mom this time. 😮‍💨

[@johnhakes7161]

This presentation resonates big time with me. I experienced a couple of dating app scenarios where the woman had been totally mistreated by an existing or previous relationship. I gulped and thought there was no way they wouldn’t like a decent and forthright guy like me. I was ghosted and cut off in short order. The modern dating scene is definitely difficult.

[@historyandhorseplaying7374]

That’s because using dating apps is not really dating. It’s so much better to meet someone in PERSON, in a non-dating situation (friend or relative of a friend, fellow student, coworker, fellow enthusiast of a certain sport [participating not watching sports] or activity or hobby, etc etc). That way you get to observe them in every day situations, for months or years first. Apps are for the birds.

[@jbr84tx]

@@historyandhorseplaying7374: Never used a dating app, never will.

[@gamingguru2k6]

So, having an abundance mindset will make me twice as successful at dating. Two times zero is still zero.

[@Mrs.Deanna_Ember]

I think sometimes people make dating in general too much of a priority sometimes, often because of peers, family, etc..its nice being in a relationship but they come with their own set of headaches aswell

[@raftguy1376]

Id phrase it like this: Don’t compromise the integrity of your relationship decisions, even if you’re on a major dry spell.

[@rickcheyne]

Forget red flags. The system is geared for women and some men are fed up with it. It's just not worth it.

[@walterparada1530]

7 matches a week?!?!? I don't know any man that is getting that many matches and I wouldn't say they are ugly guys either. Me included I was on dating apps for like 3 months and never got a date. And more often than not when I got a match they were bots trying to scam me. That's why I deleted all my dating apps and am no longer on them. They are a giant waste of time for most men.

[@Pikawarps]

I’ve been on dating apps for a year and have had 7 conversations, 0 have led to in person meetings

[@walterparada1530]

@@Pikawarps it's pointless bro. Just delete it. Not to mention it makes your self esteem plummet

[@Pikawarps]

@@walterparada1530 I’m no longer on it to actually get dates, i just swipe on everyone so i can get practice conversations for when i find someone worth talking to in real life. So far I’ve learned how to avoid a few dead end topics so it’s not totally valueless

[@tiereon]

Loneliness is processed in the same part of the brain as pain, so it’s also part of why we ignore red flags. Also a woman told me she only recently learned that “men deserve to feel safe in relationships too.” Meaning if a man flirts, or makes a move, it’s not always to get laid or play around, it’s because there’s genuine feelings there and sometimes women brush that off as “he’s just being silly” and not that was a vulnerable action.

[@R89iv]

I’m just at the point where I’m just tired and willing to just be alone. I never even made it to a date (besides a coffee one, but it felt like not a date). I’m tired of being miserable about it. I’m 33 and learning that whomever I’m supposed to be with doesn’t exist. I know I can be a better match for a woman if I applied myself better in life, but when you work 6 days a week it’s a struggle to make proper life changing progress.

[@eddiewillers1]

Peace and strength to you, Brother - you will prevail.

[@moleahy6880]

You're better off working and earning more money rather than wasting your time catering to a woman who offers little other than chaos and drama.

[@ramjam-zv7mi]

change life dude, my advice. try something you always dreamt to do and go for it whatever it takes to get there

[@brianwaller7383]

Same here. I feel like I’m perpetually stuck in the endless loop of dating. I’m tired of asking/answering the same questions over and over and over again, because I get talking to one then it fizzles out, then a month or two later the cycle repeats itself again and again. Because she always find a better option. I’m so tired of it, although I’m lonely at times, I content of just living by myself. I’m 44 now and struggled all my life. I’m just done with it all

[@chadspencer7976]

Passport bros, it'll blow your mind when you go elsewhere and woman are suddenly interested in you.

[@nocapnobs7845]

I'm MGTOW since February 2018. My life MEASURABLY has gone up 10x in every facet. I'm data driven and have measured, and recorded/journal everything. From family life to friendships to travel, to starting a business etc. etc. EVERYTHING has gone up! There is no wmn, not even my dear mother who could convince me to go back to the plantation. Note: "Wmn have more options" - Quantity doesn't = Quality. In 20 years, they'll accumulate more psychological issues but when you go MGTOW in 20 years you'll be retired in the Amalfi coast and a boat. Your choice fellas.

[@timothyscavo8510]

68 years old, was married for 32 years, now a widower, not at all in the market, just watching from the spectator stands so to speak. I like your advice content, much of it I agree with as an old guy. However, you didn't mention what the long term results are of women playing manipulative games: They usually end up as old spinsters and they become just as invisible to men as most men are to them. That's a very bitter fruit that their cruel game playing produces. Also, the window of opportunity for women to get a man and have children by him is way shorter than a man's window of opportunity. My wife gave me a daughter when I was 41, that kid was my first born. When I was 42 she gave me twin boys. So you see, as a man I had far more time to raise children than women have. Young women are so myopic that they don't see "the wall" coming at them. This is all personally damaging to women. But my greater fear is what this is doing to our culture.

[@scotter]

Thanks for sharing awareness I see as important! In my "Practical Empathy Play Group," many (most, sadly) men who show up are so low-T and/or desperate that they will compromise almost everything.

[@TrueMakedonia]

My standard for a woman is extremely low because im desperate. I just want a friend. The types of women I've met scares me.

[@e.paradigm7415]

100% agree, I’m a dude and I’ve been there. As men we get sooo blinded by a woman’s appearance that we ignore all the bad characteristics of that person. One of my very first relationships was like that, that ex was hella toxic! But I stayed with her for a long time because I felt it was the best deal I was going to get. 😂 I had poor self image and just didn’t think I could do better, I also thought I needed to help her; she was amazingly attractive but once the relationship ended and I got older I realized what I stood up for and what I wanted in a relationship. You would think that most men would understand this, yet this is far from it. Plenty of people out in the world, just gotta find the right one that you connect with.

[@thespiritofhegel3487]

Thank you for your wise words. I was dumped about six months and I am still suffering. It is worse than grief.

[@josesantana770]

You have to considered one of the two abnormal, either the fact that break ups happen, or the way that you have managed the issue.

[@nocapnobs7845]

Who's suffering? you as in your ego or you, as in your soul? think about it for a second/hour/month/year. Just ponder on that. When you truly understand that question, and come up with an answer, your life will change.

[@winston-churchill]

It is grief...

[@richardw3347]

If you were able to get another 10 girls like the girl that broke up with you would you even care. Just a perspective shift can be helpful. Also Allow yourself to grieve and feel the feelings that come up and eventually the emotions become less intense, etc., over time. Keep your self busy to and do more productive things so you can eventually attract another one if u choose.

[@davidespiritu6759]

I quit dating American women 30 years ago, and now I only date in Mexico and Latin America. Best thing I ever did.

[@natskivna]

The one thing I've learned about making it to my late 50's...I can handle being alone. It's not ideal of course but then again, my resources are MINE alone, my freedom is intact, and I have the time to nuture other relationships with family and friends. Companionship? When I need that, I have my dog. And honestly, sex means so little to me now as opposed to 20 years ago that it's become a moot point. Being single and alone isn't as bad as I thought it would be.

[@Memofonseca]

This is true, ignored all the early red flags in my previous relationship because I believed things would change but that was my worst mistake. I got straight finessed. Take things for what they are not what they could be, and do not make the same mistake twice.

[@DallasSniper]

A female with 3 or more kids before the age of 30 is a red flag for me, especially if they're from multiple men who aren't involved with their kids.

[@roolyfe]

Baby momma are trash 🚮

[@SergioKoolhaas]

For me, it depends. If she never got married and had children by multiple men, yes that's a HUGE red flag. What if she was married and had multiple kids with that man but he died in an accident? Is that a red flag?

[@hersses]

I am so thankful of what you do for men with this channel. I came upon it yesterday and I've watched a few of your clips. What you do is so important because so many men have absolutely no idea of how to talk to women. And it's heartbreaking to hear how little is needed, how low their standards in women are. Like they completly light up if a woman as little as give them a smile, or talks to them or actually listens to them. My best friend is a girl in her 30's and because she's very friendly and takes interest in other people, guys often mistakes that for her having interest in them. So even bald old guys in their late 50's she met at improv or yoga starts to woo her, guys who often are sad and lonely with no real chance of giving her the family life she wants. Guys that say they never in their life felt so validated like when she listens to them. It breaks my heart because that is often the case with young men too. And life is often a hard game on the hardest difficulty with few to no ones who can explain how to interact with others. And I'm so glad you are acknowledge people who are introverted or on the spectrum, I'm on both. I do get girls but it's been a long way of taking notes and listen to advices because these things are not self-explanatory. What you do is so important! You are helping so many men even though you have no obligations to. So thank you!

[@CB-hd4fi]

Having dated off and on over the last 25 years (depending on whether or not I was in a relationship), I have to say I have never experienced more demeaning, entitled or heartless behavior from women than in the last 5 years. I cannot count how many times I have been stood up without so much as a simple text or the slightest regret from them. It's truly disgusting. I have met wonderful women too, but gotta say that dating isn't for the faint hearted. I thank god that I have a thick skin, because a sensitive, introverted male doesn't stand a chance in this environment.

[@antonboludo8886]

Regardless of gender, being a good overall listener is the prime communication skill. Most of what the other person is saying is not coming out of their mouths.

[@Whiskey04]

So true! Just went through this. Had a girl throw herself at me then a couple months later turn around and give me the cold shoulder. I got the feels, mourned the loss and now feeling much better. Not down to go through that again.

[@brettstarks1846]

Dating for men is like applying for jobs, with all the exhausting hoop-jumping and humiliation that entails. At least with dating, men can opt out and keep their dignity intact, whereas job seekers have to take what they can get.

[@peterjmcadam9358]

A lot of men are also hesitant to point out red flags in case they get labelled as misogynistic/sexist as well

[@als7594]

I can't tell you how many single women I know in their 40's though their 60's that have alcohol problems. I'm talking about how they start drinking the moment that they get home from work and all day on their days off.

[@jimstowell1166]

AS a senior in age I found your video very refreshing.. I should have heard it 45 years ago when I was first married...but then I wouldn't have had such a wonderful daughter out of a horribly ending marriage. Fast forward to marriage number three, I am finding pressures put on me that I never agreed to, namely of the financial support type, and I am going to have to stand up for myself even if it results in divorce number three. How to express my concerns to an otherwise wonderful partner of many years who has her own dreams will be the challenge, hopefully without ending what we have together.. Your video is a help toward those ends.

[@boris1387]

I ignored the red flags, cos I'm stupid and was dazzled by her looks. Red flags cost me dearly and while the 2years we'd spent together, were 'ok', those years taught me a lot. I thought she was 'the one' However due to her screwed up past she had immense sense of entitlement and Princess syndrome. Happy being single. Forever. 👌👍🏻

[@ludovictrottier425]

Alright everyone, let's raise our standards. Here is my list: - The things she says align with the things she does - Does not think I'm weak for showing my emotions - Does not order me around like a butler - Lifts me up and encourages me when I feel down - Asks my opinion and cares about it - Wants the best for both of us - Has long-term plans about our future - Can compromise if necessary - Does not think I'm sexist for wanting high standards from her - Contributes financially to the best of her capability - Says thank you and is respectful - Values a healthy lifestyle - Compliments me as much as I compliment her - Can accept I'm private about certain things Feel free to add more in comment section. Thanks for video Courtney

[@ethanmiller5487]

This is why I dated a girl that told me near the end of the end of the relationship that she stopped showing me affection of any kind because she wasn't getting what she wanted. When asked what she wanted, she never answered plainly, it was always I wanna feel this or that. At this same time I was dealing with the sudden death of my father. She didn't seem to care. Glad thats in the past. Red flags are important!

[@raulcoolmeister]

I went through the exact same thing.

[@ethanmiller5487]

@@raulcoolmeister I'm sorry to hear that. So much needless pain. I wish I had taken off the rose colored glasses sooner, just gotta make sure to not put them on again.

[@Sevalecan]

Very on point that you made this video just now. Admittedly I'm 34 and single (have been all my life). Struggled with my weight for some years, lost most of it, then gained it all back plus more. That plus social anxiety that I've worked very hard to overcome (and have had a lot of success, and can still get better yet) have all held me back. Right now I'm about 200lbs from my target weight. Finally found the key for myself to turn that situation around, but I'm realistically up to a year or two out from being near my ideal weight, and likely being able to have success in garnering any interest. I am your poster boy for someone likely to be in a scarcity mindset. I want to believe that when I get there, I won't settle for someone where there's no affection and who doesn't value me and show it. I want to do these things, and I want nothing less. That said, a lot of your videos and a few others who are respectful of men making relationship videos have been useful in calibrating expectations and interpreting behaviors, but honestly with the low interaction rate (due to aforementioned social anxiety and weight) made it very hard for a long time to calibrate myself to the things you explain about whether someone is interested or not. Won't lie, I've had at least two women seek my attention with no intent or desire to do anything more. The plus side to this experience is that I know that everything I hoped for never existed with someone like that. I won't hang on waiting for things to change in the future. I'll draw boundaries on their behavior around me. Someone mentioned in another of your videos that the best way to deal with this is to confront them. Not aggressively, but asking someone out who is giving you mixed signals puts them in the position of having to decide whether they want you, or just your attention. If you can't get an unequivocal yes, then I can now treat that as a no, with no regret, and it's a way to move to draw that boundary. Did it successfully twice now. And you don't have to be friends with women that want to friendzone you. At the end of the day, do what's best for your own wellbeing. If being their friend does not work for you, freedom of association(or lack thereof). I wouldn't feel guilty if another man wanted to be friends with me and I did not want the same and decided not to.

[@ollysombrero8427]

You always emphasize the abundance x scarcity mindset in your videos, and slowly but surely it did fundamentally change the way I think, feel and behave. I appreciate it a lot.

[@CourtneyRyan]

This makes me so happy to hear. Thanks for sharing with me ❤️

[@deltaxcd]

Unless you are delusional schizophreniacs it what matters is reality not mindset.

[@minabotieso6944]

Like 2 videos ago she said don’t have a scarcity mindset but then said the situation of a lot of men truly is scarcity. You can’t magically make tons of women appear with a new mindset. Women are real physical things that you have to go out and pursue

[@joshua50101]

@@minabotieso6944 she's still a woman. A walking contradiction.

[@MrCjchamp2001]

@@joshua50101 I’m not hating on Courtney but she always contradicts herself. All these dating experts do bc there simply is no formula for dating. People are individuals . Women and men aren’t all the same. Eg. Courtney says women often respond to the exact opposite of what they say they want. Yet she constantly interviews women to help guys see it from their point of view. Which is it?

[@andrewthacker114]

Good advice,as a Brit living in Dallas I’ve found it very hard to connect with quality women.Almost impossible, so yes I think get what you can get is true to a large extent. I’m in a bit of a complicated relationship.I think most American men are treated like crap from women.

[@Leondrius]

Haha. When you talked about ignoring red flags because of a woman's beauty, that resonated too hard. When I lived in China, I had a Chinese friend who was unbelievably gorgeous. I knew it was doomed from the beginning, but I couldn't help myself. 😂 She was my friend for 3 years before we got started, and I trusted her, but there was some dark feeling that overshadowed the entire relationship. I never suffered harder because of a woman before or since. Not even close, but it was still a great experience. I learned so much about what to do and what not to do. No regrets, but I wouldn't do it again. 😊

[@undefinedvariable8085]

What "dark feeling"?

[@Gunner4Drones]

No regrets but you wouldn't do it again? Sounds like regret to me.

[@Leondrius]

@@Gunner4Drones No. Just don't need a repeat. I don't regret skydiving, but I wouldn't do it again. Do you see?

[@Leondrius]

@@undefinedvariable8085 It's hard to explain. There's something very cold and dark about a lot of Chinese people, but certainly not all. They can be very subtle and nebulous. Hard to pin down. It's because of the complexity of their 5,000 year+ history. They've seen things we weren't even around for. Layers upon layers of experience that live on in the people, but of course not all of that is used for the benefit of others.

[@undefinedvariable8085]

@@Leondrius Interesting. I've never heard of another cultural demographic described in that way. Thanks for sharing.

[@zacharyperdew4007]

0:51 That is totally true. I got to the point where I’d rather be alone though. I’m 35 single, never married, in the best shape I’ve ever been in, and I have a pretty good job. It’s not enough. It attracts…. women that are going through a divorce and have a stalker on top of that. Why would I even entertain the idea of this? Because I really just want to hold someone for awhile. Even if my arm goes numb and I can’t sleep. Then I have to work 13 hours. Don’t settle fellas. Don’t put yourself in a disaster.

[@ShadowLord3220]

Dating apps are destroying the real dating world. For many people and not just women, all this become one big game. So how man like me can now find a good woman that just want to have a family? Some of my friends found love online, but it was like 10 years ago, and in my opinion, nowadays its like searching for a treasure in the middle of the ocean. This places are so full of girls that 'wanna have fun', and dont even pay for themselves. Im 35 now, and i dont think i will ever again fall in love, i dont think i could even meet the girl that i would like to try to love.

[@jeanbarrett9073]

Fall in love with yourself, take the time to continue to work on your personal health, physical, emotional, social, spiritual, intellectual. Embrace your loneliness season to practice deep self love. You seems a nice guy but also you should be aware of yourself at your 35 years old. You are talking about a family, maybe you see marrying the love of your life (are you behaving as a future husband or the person that will honor god and your future wife!) - Stop searching and become what you want to attract. I’m older than you and I don’t just believe but I have faith that one day god will bring the right person to my life.

[@Andrew--S]

@@jeanbarrett9073 The WORST thing to say to a man is 'you're a nice guy'

[@jeanbarrett9073]

@@Andrew--S In the literal sense, the term describes a man who is agreeable, gentle, compassionate, sensitive and vulnerable

[@Andrew--S]

@@jeanbarrett9073 That's the WORST thing to tell a man. Men that get told that are not looking for sympathy. In today's dating market, men that have those qualities are ignored. It's not a successful behavior for men. I don't make the rules. I'm just the messenger.

[@jeanbarrett9073]

@@Andrew--S I disagree with you. To a nice guy winning the dating game is not important. Would rather to let her go or let the other guy win. Here is more about a nice guy: a man who puts the needs of others before his own, avoids confrontations, does favors, provides emotional support, tries to stay out of trouble, and generally acts nicely towards others. In the context of a relationship, it may also refer to traits of honesty, loyalty, courtesy, respect and more. Since the beginning of the conversation I practiced empathy. I don’t believe you need to be a bad guy to attract good woman. I believe you will attract the wrong woman. Also you don’t need to change your identity to attract any woman because you will loss yourself in the process. Andrew you don’t have to agree my comments but it was good talking to you.

[@jaidev777]

I wouldn't go about referring to "red pill, "MGTOW" etc. as "all that crazy stuff," because that's extremely demeaning towards men just for trying to find answers to their problems finding a mate - it's the whole punish-men-for-their-weakness thing all over again, meanwhile sympathize-with-women-for-their-weakness. And whereas male independence (eg. MGTOW) is mocked, female independence gets a televised standing ovation. We do have a toxic anti-male culture, and the very fact that many people reading this, alone, may feel a knee-jerk reaction to ridicule as opposed to sympathize with men precisely for being wounded (and treat regard for male suffering as somehow anti-woman - and surprisingly a _lot_ of people have that reaction), is proof of it. As for the red flags in women, not only do men tend to ignore these - they essentially internalize and justify them as therefore "normal" and acceptable. Same of course goes with the sexes switched, although there is generally more pushback against misogyny but not much against misandry (most people don't even know that word exists). Toxic femininity exists, like toxic masculinity does.

[@blu3661]

We live in depressing times unfortunately

[@blu3661]

@@daniellehotsky1776 Yeah i do work on myself and try bettering myself but it doesn't change the fact that the world is looking a lot more bleak. You can work on yourself and sure it might have some knock on effect on the people around you but it only changes so much. Unless you block out everything but your immediate family and friends, there's no way outside shit cant get to you. 'Manning up' only gets you so far

[@ErnieDurham]

Courtney, I have watched your channel for quite a while and appreciate (and mostly agree) with your advice. The reason that many men ignore red flags from women is because they have no respect for themselves. They also have issues about what (or who) defines them. I am not defined by how many likes I get or whether a particular person likes or dislikes me. Men, must respect themselves, have values/standards/principles and act rather than react. We are not required to believe what people say about us, true or not, and we need to be consistently improving our heart, mind, and what we value. I treat everyone with dignity and respect. I am a Navy (Combat) Veteran and maintain a healthy lifestyle. This is how I choose to live, and life is about choices Choose wisely and you will respect yourself and those around you. :)

[@MintyLombax]

Dude, I am lucky if I get one match a year with online dating and I'm not fat or a hideous goblin. Not even joking. And I have ignored red flags before and it got me into a highly abusive relationship (from online dating, no less). Never again. Dating today is simply tragic and it is such a drain on my mental health.

[@Fletch85uk]

Some guys don't care about red flags and just dive in, whatever it takes, whatever the cost, which ultimately makes them simps. Because to them, sex comes first so they need someone for that. I lost a friend to a woman who was toxic, he just couldn't see it.

[@jeremygilbert7989]

Ironically, my perpetual lifetime bachelor status has actually helped me STOP settling for less regarding women. Younger me would turn into a doormat at the drop of a hat for a "nice" girl that shot a smile my way and would be repeatedly be taken advantage of as a result. Current me has neither the time nor the inclination to indulge such parasites any more. Do I want love and companionship at some point in my life? Yes, absolutely. Will I ignore blatant red flags just so I don't have to be alone anymore? Nope, never again. I've gone 36, nearly 37, years flying solo already so I've got nothing to lose by being more particular in who I show interest in. Hell, I know a lot of guys just swipe right to everything they see on dating apps just to get a few more of those rare matches but me? Nope. I'm checking your pictures, your location, and reading your full bio before I even consider swiping right which, of course, means I mostly swipe left lol. Likewise I keep my own profile honest and straightforward to best reflect who I am. Sure, I get maybe 1 or 2 likes a month as a result, if that, and even fewer matches by doing so but I'd rather miss out on a hundred selfish and vapid hotties if it means filtering the well down to just one meaningful connection.

[@tunit5238]

In a dating world where being toxic, manipulative, and having unrealistic standards is the norm, it’s beyond great to hear this from you Courtney. Thank you for your videos, I needed to hear this

[@innocentrage1]

I use to be a take what I could get and now I am much happier being alone then being with someone who isnt that great.

[@moleahy6880]

And I'm sure you've also realized that the vast majority nowadays aren't that great.

[@mistersaints4482]

I'm so glad you said this on 5:58 . It really does feel like that. A lot of times I think to myself is it even worth it. Solitude doesn't seem so bad if I get to keep my peace of mind.

[@anthonyfelix2972]

Dating apps do more damage than most realize. Had Tinder on my phone for 8 years, swiped on thousands of profiles (even on girls I didn't find attractive) and never once got a match. Even friends of mine who're very successful with the app tried helping me out but where shocked that I got the same results.

[@JKRuc]

Had tinder for 5 months, no likes or matches from women. It's super depressing 😞! I since then quit all dating apps. I came to realize that dating apps mostly benefit women and only the top 10-20 % of guys.

[@reubenmurphy7053]

Suddenly everyone has to be so guarded, zero margin for error etc. I guess its because society exploits individuals now instead of supports them, so they just need one can opener in the relationship and it comes with a red wrapper.

[@SigmoidConMan]

I was supposed to visit Snowport in Boston with someone I haven’t seen in ages and when I made a plan on how we were going to go about our day, she failed to get back to me and when she finally replied she was like “Oh no, I’m so sorry. Been having a rough time with my family. Can we reschedule?” Once I rescheduled, I ended up driving 2 hours to her place, only for her to not even be home. Then, I messaged her letting her know I was there and she was like “Oh my God, I’m so sorry. I’m still at my nana’s and forgot about our plans. Can we please reschedule? I’ll write it on my calendar.” But that time I didn’t actually go anywhere. Not only out of suspicion she’d flake once more, but I also found out she has a police record for theft by deception dating back to 2017. That’s when I said to myself. “Not taking that chance.” Remember guys, it’s not only what women say, it also has to do with their actions as well.

[@wizeyy]

I have been on dating apps for 10 years and literally have gotten maybe 200 matches, about 50 unmatches after I reach out, only maybe 30 responses, mostly 1 response then ghost, 0 dates. Yes, 0. I have not been on a real date since my ex-gf in 2015. I'm not exaggerating here, among apps like Hinge, Bumble, Tinder, OKCupid, a few Christian apps, this is literally the result. I have seen your videos interviewing women, and when it came to height, those women would always choose a taller man even if the shorter man was making like 300k and has a good personality. I am 5'4", so I am living proof of this problem. I'm 34 pretty much thinking I am not deserving of love and delt a pretty bad hand. Whenever I meet women in real life, even if I find her attractive, I simply don't bother because I know she's looking for a taller man she sees above my head

[@keonhobgood1551]

Hate to be that guy but you might not be that attractive….go to the gym and workout try to maximize your looks. Also makes some friends preferably female friends cause nothing helps more than having a supporting cast to vouch for you. This is coming from a 5”6 broke man that gets many women.

[@jakediaz1310]

To any man or woman out there. I recently split from a 4 month relationship. The a girl was a stalker. She actually stalked my ex gf from a prior relationship. I didn't indore the signs. We fought constantly over trust in the relationship. It finally ended by my doing. I want to tell you all. If there is no trust and respect. You have nothing... Please look at the red flags and run.

[@MrJoseBarnes]

I tried putting some expectations on women back in 2017, have been alone for the past six years as I found not a single decent woman to date beyond a date haha.

[@JamesSullivan-pu1og]

Some men DO see the Red Flags and are faced with a difficult situation. She may STILL be a whole lot better for him than other women with supposedly no Red Flags.

[@ChrisW1019]

Hi Courtney, can you do a video clarifying the differences between being passive, assertive and aggressive in regards to how men interact with women? You've talked a lot already about confidence/insecurities, red flags/green flags, etc. I think it would be beneficial to know how we can be assertive, which I think is the healthy median between being passive and aggressive.

[@thomasg6362]

All the red flags in the world will not matter if men treat themselves with respect and learn boundaries. The women with red flags will sort themselves out

[@williamgroome5485]

The most important green flag for me is a woman who doesn't mind being challenged. It makes for a far more open and honest relationship.

[@TheCoolProfessor]

Not me. I was involved with someone who told me I wasn't as good a friend as another one she had. It's disgusting to play with people's feelings.

[@jonmatrix2033]

I gave up years ago on women . Was in an abusive relationship where she would hit me got off that relationship. Then started dating a few years later an that was a mess 5 horrible dates then meet a new woman exchange numbers talk for a day then being ignored nan never picks up the phone. So yea us men we don't need woman in our lives for what to complicate our own life no thanks. Guys get a hooker they come over you do what you need to do an pay them to leave . There is no disappointments an you move on . Us nice guys never win or get the girl . Anyway money makes me happy nowadays a future billionaire in the makeing women have become more of a problem if anything .

[@bobbruce4135]

If only your solution, renting a garden tool, was easy everywhere. Some places it's not.

[@tiltedgame-room8846]

I'm guilty of spewing women shade and mgtow mentalities. However, there are many women dealing with the same things I fly off the handle about. I just came back from the gym and when I was arriving there a very heavy 20-30 ish woman walking right behind me. I noticed her and I said I'm gonna see what kind of reaction I get for this. I held the door behind me for her. She was very appreciative and said thank you. She passed the first shit test. The second set of doors I literally held it open for her and let her go first. At first she didn't notice cause she was in her own world and looking down, then she noticed. I could tell she was shocked and almost stuttered saying thank you while shyly looking me in the eyes and then quickly looked down because I hold eye contact when interacting with people which probably made her also uncomfortable because I acknowledged she exists with very simple kindness. I however never hold doors for 8's and above. My experience is they don't acknowledge you or say thank you like your a f-ing doorman at a hotel. If your in Cincinnati and a NY guy lets a door slam in your face that was me or I stared at you while the elevator door closed in your face, also me. I could tell society has been doing a number on her and I felt bad and angry at the same time. No one should feel like their world flipped upside down just because a door was held for them. I feel people were really becoming a-holes prior to covid and post covid they really need a f-ing humanity check. I was considering having a friendly chat with her but I'm 43 and dating someone and didn't want to come off as that old guy hitting on women at the gym. The point I am trying to make is this shit is out of hand and women are also invisible with scarcity from value partners. Start treating the gods gifts to the world like sh*t, and raise up the down to earth people. Stop validating a-hole women, stop chasing after a-hole women, stop letting these people walk on water. If a lot of people did this who knows what might happen. Until then I'll still be in my trench spewing venom at privileged women. 😂

[@funkysoulman3861]

I've been single for over 15 years. I see things way better than when I was younger. Women will need to pick me up because I just don't care about dating anymore. I spent too much money on women for too many years. I'm not enough of a loser to go on dating sites.

[@prussiansocietyofamerica]

EXACTLY Right, and I will tell you for sure that Women who DO like you, Will literally even pick you up, in every sense of the word. Even will give you a free ride if they see you, or other special things. They make it known. If a Woman is not treating you with the enthusiasm and ways that they treat their pet dogs, then you know she is not really all that into you.

[@antonvoloshin9833]

So true. I've learned it the hard way, every time I allowed my emotions and my anxiety to take the best of me and lowered my standards for a girl, because there was no one else, it always ended up in disaster. Now, being aware of this, I keep my frame and my standards - can't say it made me more "successful" in terms of dating, but it certainly gave me a peace of mind and saved a lot of time and nerve.

[@psychologysignals]

I really appreciate the fact that a woman made this video to help men. Love the content from this channel BTW! 🙏

[@RM-jb2bv]

Simp

[@archangele1]

I believe the term is desperation. As a man gets older they realize the pickings become slimmer with every new year for them. I still remember a line in a movie where the guy said something like 'you're at the age where you start becoming invisible to college age women'. If the guy truly wants to and hopes to find a life partner he realizes, upon looking in the mirror, that he isn't that buff dude he was a few years ago and is more willing to 'settle' for a lot of crap that a few years ago would have been red flags. This obviously is more for guys as we get older. And yes, even the mid 30's is older to a woman who is in her peak at around 18 - 29 years of age. And then there are the constant little unintentional jabs from friends and family like 'So where's your girlfriend' or 'are you seeing someone now?" and the like. as well as the ultimate. The party where you are the only one without a partner. Yep those are great social engagements. Nothing like being the odd man out. So there are a lot of pressures to find someone and all too often one over looks red flags and settles for what eventually turns into a nightmare.

[@sukhmangat5544]

It's either ignore the red flags or be alone. No options.

[@rob9999]

Thanks for the encouraging words. I relate so much with what you are saying, especially when it comes to the imbalance in the dating market. I have made a lot of decisions to improve my life and have accomplished a lot of self-work. Sadly this has resulted in me having no support system with some of those decisions in mind. So I find myself very isolated some days and have to plant new roots. The urge to look passed red flags arises. But I have come too far in life to be that lenient, and know I deserve better than that. I have had too many controlling women in my life, including women in my family. I really just need a woman who at least meets the bare-minimum.