The Male Loneliness Epidemic & Silent Hill 2

[@MertKayKay]

Get 30 Days FREE off your Brilliant subscription over at brilliant.org/MertKayKay/ - the best place to learn essential STEM skills and advance your career! Act now: the first 200 to sign up will receive 20% off! Thanks to Brilliant, I can bring you this video with zero mid-roll ads. I hope you enjoy the show.

[@PhantomDiegesis]

That segue to the ad was pretty... Brilliant. 😎

[@aisnota5192]

In all honesty I think there's a number of ways James' story could be looked at in a way that makes him sympathetic. I call the term "a Monster Calls to Silent Hill". Both of those stories deal with a troubled person watching someone they love slowly die of an illness. They hate it. A part of them wishes they would just die so they both don't have to suffer. They hate themselves for feeling that way and a Supernatural Force makes them have to admit this horrible truth. Yes, James killed his wife which makes it difficult to like him, BUT if he didn't feel any guilt about it I doubt Silent Hill would have called to him. He loved Mary. A part of him never stopped loving her. Love is..... fucking weird. Especially when it comes to death by illness. The dread. The anxiety. The emotional harm. Yes James gave up.... but that doesn't make him a bad person.

[@LOP4795]

Anyone who has ever taken care of a terminally sick loved one can sympathize with James more than the average person. There is a lot of guilt after the loved one dies because one thought that runs through the caretaker''s head, whether they admit this or not, is "it would be easier if they would die" or something along these lines. That does not mean the caretaker truly wants them to die, but rather that everyone's suffering would end. So when it does happen, there is always guilt for simply thinking that because the suffering has not actually ended. It just took on a new form.

[@worldscoolestperson7672]

Fuck, man.

[@portofthoughts4477]

Considering he's the reason she's dead... Lol

[@lergoth]

my grandma was terminally ill, she was supposed to live about 3 months but somehow she lived for a whole 2 years, in which she was in pain and mentally completely gone, she didn't know who she was, she didn't move, or eat or get up, she was too old to get surgery, the last thing she said when she could still talk was "i'm suffering", the family took turns taking care of her and every need she had, but she was like a living corpse, i couldn't take her words of my mind, i wished for her body to give up and let her rest, it was horrible, terrifying and a painful experience for everyone, i did feel shame for thinking it but i still wish she died sooner

[@LucyTohsaka]

Totally... there are always intrusive thoughts in the back of one heads saying "ugh, things would be easier if this person just d ie" or other horrible stuff like that one can only feel guilty about... Also, I've always wondered if what is shown about Marys death is really how it happened, or if it's some kind of fake exaggerated memory the town created to make James feel even more guilty about having ended Marys suffering... "I did this because I love her and wanted her pain to stop, or I did this because I was tired of all this and selfishly wanted the pain for me to stop?"

[@GrimRX]

@@portofthoughts4477 She was dying with or without his help. The only different factor is how much she suffered on the way out. Which is not to say that it was the right thing to do. However, living with a partner who has a degenerative condition that will kill them sometime in the future; a condition that causes them deep pain everyday; a condition that has no cure or solution that the healthy partner can access... Well, it's a thing.

[@anxiousopossum]

When my mother developed a disease that required a liver transplant to save her life, she was required to have a caregiver with her at all appointments before and after the procedure. She had to have her caregivers registered before the hospital would even put her on the transplant list. While my dad was her primary, her doctor told her she *had* to have a backup caregiver besides a spouse, in case he left. My brother (who still lived with them at the time) became that backup caregiver, but it always stuck with me that part of my mom’s appointment and prep was having the staff warn her spouses (especially husbands) often leave when they can’t handle being a caregiver. She’s doing much better now, my dad didn’t leave and her transplant did not reject.

[@Matthew-xz7vl]

I'm very sorry your mother went through that, I'm sure it was difficult for you and all your family. I'm glad they're doing well.

[@jameseustice7144]

It's mostly a male thing though, very clearly show in many cases. Most men leave their female partners when they get sick. Most don't stick around. It's not really a thing for women, they almost always stay by their partner.

[@markjacobs3232]

@@jameseustice7144 Not true. It just functions differently. Men are more likely to leave a terminally sick partner, and women are more likely to leave a jobless partner. It's for function.

[@jameseustice7144]

@@markjacobs3232 yeah, big difference, one is someone dying for something out of their control. The other is just you being a lazy piece of shit. Speaks volumes about the difference in character.

[@anubis7457]

@@jameseustice7144Women are socialized (and possibly experienced) in caring for another person. It’d be harder for a man to do that unless he has a specific personality type or was already socialized/prepared to do so. Men also tend to value partners in relationships based on appearance as a primary (though obviously not sole) factor, as well as the ability to have intercourse. Neither of which will likely be satisfied as the partner deteriorates. So a man will likely neither be equipped to function as a caregiver nor is he likely to feel like his own needs are being met. This isn’t a judgement statement, just an explanation. People enter romance with grand ideas about how “love conquers all” but really people just get together because they have needs they want met. If a partner doesn’t meet those needs, regardless of if they literally can’t, many will consider or go through with leaving despite promises otherwise. This is why many long-distance relationships fall apart, no matter how strong they were when they were in person.

[@arthurhex]

Life has become this depressing spiral of trying to get enough energy to survive work, then being so drained by work that I have no energy left to socialize or anything. Then rinse repeat.

[@arthurhex]

I know why I’m lonely, I’m just too tired to do much of anything about it. I’ll survive.

[@fauxspox2383]

I’ll play my violin for you

[@arthurhex]

@@fauxspox2383 thx bro it really sets the mood.

[@wareforcoin5780]

I thought these things were supposed to be male loneliness problems, but every single description I read I identify strongly with. Shit, I'm lonely too guys. (Which is wild, because I'm in a relationship.) Lets form a club and just sit around separately playing video games.

[@futurelama5123]

worse thing is being with someone but u still feel alone

[@7sidedspectrum130]

For me at least, the hardest part is constantly having to initiate connections with others, while almost never receiving any invitations to connect. When you try so hard to form and maintain connections but get no support from the other side, it leads to a lot of self doubt and burnout.

[@Nickulator]

This has been my biggest issue as well. I DO give a fuck about people, but they don't give a fuck about me. That leads to a lot of resentment, bitterness and.. You guessed it; Loneliness.

[@scary5455]

That's the male loneliness epidemic in a nutshell. Men trying to connect with women, but getting no reciprocation. Even on forums where people complain about being forever alone, the female users then complain about getting offers to talk from the men there, and they ignore the men.

[@MinuteBracelet]

So true. I dont like how the presenter seems oddly dismissive of James and by extension the men he represents in her argument, seemingly saying that they just need to put more effort in with no regard to how much effort was being put into him.

[@Getreidekeks]

Just because you put effort into some doesn't make it good. Social skills are just that: skills. It's a learning curve. Effort doesn't equal quality sadly

[@scary5455]

@@Getreidekeks As an autistic person, effort is futile. But I find it really easy to talk to my girlfriend, and she finds me really interesting. No effort needed.

[@abbypierce4196]

Silent Hill 2 and 3 are absolutely some of my top games of all time. The way they were able to tell two stories, one completely centered around male perspective and the other about birth, girlhood, religion, etc. is just amazing to me. Heather and James are such amazing characters and so different from one another.

[@futurelama5123]

Henry never gets any love:(

[@abbypierce4196]

@@futurelama5123 I actually love the SH 4 as well. But I love it more for the horror/psychological aspect more than him as a character. The idea of your “safe room” becoming a place of fear is soooo good to me.

[@justmonika2345]

@@abbypierce4196 Yeah tbh the strengths of SH4 are its themes and story. Henry is kind of a vessel for the player's perspective but has a bit of a repressed, lonely personality marred by bad and cheesy voice acting for his character. SH4 deserves a remake as well at some point in the future. I think the next game to be remade will be SH1, then SH3, then SH4.

[@animelover12261]

They do good on certain aspects but on gender alot of things are still wrong on many levels you can see the creators outlook on certains things and like many said you can see he has a sick perspective thats wrong and flawed on many levels but on certain ones he did great

[@morganalabeille5004]

Silent Hill 2 also pretty heavily features a female perspective. There are four female characters and only two men. Maria’s got her whole feminist existential horror Galatea thing going on, Mary’s the whole fulcrum the game revolves around, Laura’s implied to have gone through some shit, and Angela is Angela.

[@pinkb9876]

Is kinda funny to me how all four characters (James, Angela, Eddie and Laura) all were called into town at the same time. Obviously, it is because there was a story to be told. But still I cant from my mind the image of Silent Hill just trying to match up the schedules of each character like "Ok guys, blondie just killed his wife, so I already called that Angela girl and the kid from the hospital. And get this, there is also a guy that just killed his high school bully's dog and shoot him in the leg. Oh yes, the symbolism is gonna work great in this one, I can feel it!!"

[@goranisacson2502]

And now I'm oddly sympathetic with the abstract concept of Silent HIll as an artist who TRIES to create these situations for the sake of intriguing social experiments, but at one point he had to do commission work for these creepy religious people (because nothing in life is free and sometimes you think money is money who cares of I do some weird commissions at the start) and now they just WON'T quit! All of SIlent HIll's work now HAS to revolve around them, when all it desires is to ensnare random broken weirdoes for its fucked up little morality tales. But alas, we seldom get to choose our reputation...

[@datguyuno98]

SH2 is what happens when you let blood cook for too long

[@thinginground5179]

lemme just give him a pizza

[@sedwards3995]

time is not necessarily linear in silent hill, there is a line from Laura that Mary died three weeks ago, and its ambiguous who is truthful.

[@pinkb9876]

@@sedwards3995This was a joke comment... But I am up to believe the eight year old over the murderer with delusions.

[@mimicmey]

One thing that occurred to me while watching the video is that James says his wife "died 3 years ago", which is not true, BUT it's also mentioned that Mary was given 3 years to live from when she was diagnosed with her illness. Therefore, I think the moment Mary got her diagnosis, she was already dead to James, even if he may not acknowledge it.

[@StevenKirby-uq5jk]

That makes sense with another line stating that when she was first diagnosed, that she lashed out and treated everyone she loved horribly. Especially James

[@JoeBradley151]

Or it could be that the Mary he knew died after the diagnosis. There are several things that can happen to people that severely alter their personality and leave their closest friends looking at them like strangers

[@eddyb2302]

There's a part towards the end of the game where James remembers a conversation where he was told she was going to die by a doctor

[@ladyzoe5734]

I won’t lie, I feel immense anxiety about how Angela will be handled in the remake

[@ParagonBourne]

OH MY FUCKING GOD I DIDNT EVEN CONSIDER THAT

[@SnuSnuDungeon]

Don't get your hopes up it's Bloober Team, they're gonna fuck it up

[@3ndlessL00p]

​@@SnuSnuDungeon I think that's the point mate. That's the source of ladyzoes anxiety.

[@SnuSnuDungeon]

@@3ndlessL00p it's going to suck so much 😭

[@rustyfisher2081]

​@@SnuSnuDungeon what do people hate about bloober team anyways? Their games were alright when I played them, but Blair Witch did kinda fall flat in terms of replayability and making the protag memorable.

[@demiurgentcare]

I read somewhere that while the butterfly can maintain some of the caterpillar's memories, they are separate animals. The caterpillar dies and dissolves in the cocoon and the butterfly is more of a virus that transfigures the DNA of the caterpillar goo into a butterfly. Maybe that's why Maria bears the butterfly motif. She was infected and killed by the Silent Hill virus and then Maria was born from her, sharing some of her memories but a new entity. Just a thought, great video as always.

[@CoolMagmar]

Butterflies keep all memories of their caterpillar stage, because I'm not too good to explain it I suggest reading about it.

[@Cuiasodo]

​If I remember correctly, there was once an experiment done to see if memories would persist between a caterpillar and a butterfly. Researchers would introduce test subject caterpillars to a particular smell, of something that would normally be innocuous or appetizing to it, and then administer a harmless but painful electric shock. They repeated the process until they got a reliable pavlovian response just from the smell; the caterpillar would "flinch" or avoid the smell when it caught it. The researchers then waited until the caterpillars metamorphosed into butterflies and then introduced the smell to the butterflies. The smell produced the exact same response, meaning that memories persisted from phase to phase.

[@demiurgentcare]

I heard about that one, but I think the butterfly's offspring would also share the trait to a degree. The article I read though it had to do with epigenetics. But at least some species of butterfly do retain some portion of the "brains" and nervous system through metamorphosis so who knows?

[@Cuiasodo]

@@demiurgentcare It's difficult to tell how much remains after that kind of massive transformation, especially since we can't just interview the butterfly before and after and ask it detailed questions like we could with a human, or even ask if it feels like the same creature. But if you look at humans, and life in general, memory and continuity is kind of the only thing we have that justifies we're the same person over the years. The human body replaces every cell gradually over the course of 7 years or something like that, so in terms of building blocks, you're not the same. But you'd hardly say you're an entirely different person, since you remember being that previous collection of cells and there was a transitional period between when you were that and now, if that makes sense.

[@HeatherHolt]

What a philosophical yet scientific comment section. I like it.

[@nobody4248]

As somebody who suffered from extreme pain when I was younger (I am fine now), that remained undiagnosed for months (and at times was suspected to be chronic) my personal opinion on the "Mary question": is that she did not want to live in her state, but didn't want to die either. Also in my opinion James acted without Mary's consent.

[@uniwiz666]

I relate to James only because my dad was sick with an illness for 5 years, and I had to take care of him and do what nurses aren't even paid enough to do Sometimes, he was unpleasant and I wanted to kill him. But he was scared and knew he was going to die. I wanted my life back And he wanted me to have my life back But he didn't know how to express it. Mary's letter is almost a word for word letter from my dad to me Silent Hill 2 helped me cope with his death RIP dad

[@Elijah_Esther]

Reading this is devastating. RIP

[@sennadesillva]

I hope you are better now. I feel the same way sometimes but am on the other side of it all. I'm 38 and live with my parents again. I have chronic pancreatitis and epilepsy. My seizures are frequent and random enough that living on my own is not viable. I don't know the number of seizures i've had but there have been at least 2 where i'm sure I would have died if it weren't for them being close by when it happened. It limits my job options, dating, I can't drive a car and ruins so many other things for me. Probably why I've felt such a strong connection to this game since I had it's original release back on the PS2 (also my name is James, just made the SH2 story even crazier to me). I just want to be normal again and I want my parents to be able to enjoy their retirement lives without having to either worry about me or plan their daily schedules around me. I feel like Mary, just a burden to those whom love you. Then you have days where you feel like shit or are in pain or whatever and then you lash out at those closest and 10 seconds later you mentally feel like shit too for yelling at the ones who are trying their best to help. It's a never ending cycle. I don't know you or your father yet I can still promise you he loved you and the anger wasn't directed at you, just the way his life was. I know I ranted a bit here lol but on top of me getting this out of my head, I hope it helps give you some insight from the other side of what you had to deal with.

[@ryand.7650]

I just finished the remake, which was my first experience with a SH game, and when Mary read the letter I burst into tears because it felt like it could have been from my mom.

[@uziel1447]

One of the funniest thing ever is that i am a guy who was over 25 years old and could relate/understand Fiona Belli from Demento/Hunting Ground. Not because somebody tried to impregnate or objectify me at some point in my life, but because emphasize how fucked up her situation was.

[@concerninghobbits5536]

Yeah I think her total helplessness there can be relatable to anyone, life can force you into a lot of unfair situations where you're like Fiona, unarmed and afraid, in an unfamiliar environment

[@uziel1447]

@@concerninghobbits5536 I would not say that it is only her helplesnes. It are the things that could happen to her, if you fuck up. It is even more fucked up if you consider that the motivation of the stalkers are not that fantastical....

[@concerninghobbits5536]

@@uziel1447 that's also true, they're all fictional but in reality a lot of people are very messed up

[@indigokozy9251]

The number of men who can relate to Fiona Belli more deeply than a large portion of women is small but not zero.

[@cleverlydevisedmyth]

that game was so awesome that when I played it years ago I called off from work for two days pretending to be sick to play it non-stop until the end! I still sometimes hear Fiona's voice yelling "Go, Hewie!" LOL

[@fattiger6957]

I feel like James used to be a normal man who lived a normal life. But Mary's illness damaged him in many ways. I assume the same can be said for many men with spouses with a terminal illness. I think something most people gloss over is that James is only in his 20s. He looks like a man at least 10 years older. The pain of watching Mary suffer has taken so much out of him. I don't know if James' story could be tied into a male loneliness epidemic because James' loneliness is founded in trauma. Most men don't go through what James did. James' backstory doesn't have anything to do with overworking or societal pressure or any of the mundanity of life. I find that a lot of theorycrafting about James comes with loads of speculation. The problem is that we know nothing about James' life other than his marriage to Mary. We don't know what his job is. We don't know what he does in his free time. We don't know what he did before he married Mary. We kind of know who his father is, but we don't know who his mother is or what kind of relationship he had with her.

[@MertKayKay]

I agree! I thought he was 40! We do know what his job is: he's a store clerk and I believe he works in the shop his dad owns 😁 but beyond that, yes, a lot is omitted about him

[@fattiger6957]

@@MertKayKay I wonder if James was intentionally written as a blank slate so players could speculate. Unless they are specifically using a silent protagonist, most video games tend to give their protagonists more of a backstory or at least more hints. We don't even know what James' personality is really like since he is in a state of shock throughout the game. That's the reason why Heather is my favourite SH protagonist. Harry and Henry are pretty bland and James is shell shocked. Heather is brimming with personality and we have a pretty good idea what her life was like before her game.

[@karlosvonestabonsaltion915]

​@@Artesian_miragewhat is blud yapping about 🗣️🗣️ ☝️☝️

[@sumsumiii]

@@MertKayKay oh i didn’t know about his job.where exactly that was mentioned?maybe i missed that in game

[@Ziko577]

The upcoming remake especially nailed that part of James as he physically looks significantly worse off now.

[@mattmolloy636]

Damn Mert, you have no idea how much I needed this. As someone who lost their significant other six years ago to a long term persistent disease, I can identify with the loneliness and the inability to let go. It's as if your mind is trapped in a perpetual purgatory that cyclically repeats from beginning to end, day after day. She was the center of my universe for 12 years, and I'd do anything just to have another single moment in her company. There isn't a single point in time where she isn't on my mind, and I find myself spending all my time in my own thoughts since it's the only place where she still exists, to the effect that I'm incapable of moving on. It's like reading a chapter of a book time after time with the inability to turn the last page of it and continue the next chapter; I know there's no one out there who would match the perfection that she embodied, and I can't rationalize that there's someone out there who could fill her shoes in my life. From being involuntarily committed to a hospital to constant daily therapy with trained and educated professionals who care enough to root for my advancement towards something anew to a laundry list of medication going on several years now, it's been a hard road to cross despite all of these resources. If I didn't have loved ones who are lovingly committed to seeing me at my best I probably wouldn't be here able to leave this comment right now with my mother in particular, and I'm just hoping that I can finally get out of this pit of merciless torture before she's gone so I won't follow her lead into the next plane of existence. Here's to hoping that I finally relegate myself to the notion of her being somewhere out there within the realm of space time, and that eventually in this infinite universe I'll finally get to cross paths with her somehow 🤞🏻

[@ud0ntevenkn0wme]

I lost my wife a couple years ago to addiction and have also been teetering on the edge. I just don't think "making friends" is the solution I need. I always maintain a handful of acquaintances I communicate with about special interests once in a while, and I've never found long term friendships to be fulfilling or worth it. They felt more like a burden, where the other person keeps expecting more and more from you, time and money and doing what they want to do. And even if you put that work in and sacrifice those resources, they can still stab you in the back, which is so much worse than never even having them in the first place. I have found it much wiser to learn tools and skills I can access at any time, like meditation and motivating contemplations that I can draw from to deal with problems as they arise, and meditation is something I can do with free time to not feel bored or agitated.

[@AsterisSleeping]

My mother was sick from the time I was 4 and passed when I was 22; I am 30 now. Grief has no true pattern, rhyme, or reason. It comes and goes. The experiences that come with watching a loved one get sicker and sicker are so damn difficult. Mary's letter in the In Water ending broke me because I know that A) it described my mother's feelings all too well and B) it held an apology that I needed to hear but never truly got. Once we are used to the routine of caring for another, even through that harshness they may show us - once that routine falls apart, it can leave us feeling lost an empty. Remember to be easy on yourself, show yourself patience and kindness and, if someone else ever crosses your path - remember that she would likely want you to be happy. I hope you are taking care of yourself and getting by as best as you can.

[@SerpentineDeity]

One thing I forgot to mention about James is that the trauma of watching the person he loves suffer has stunted him psychologically. After you shut in for a while you begin to lose your ability to connect with others. You can see it in his weird behavior with all the other people in the game; James understands what is the "right" thing to say but does not FEEL it because he is psychologically compromised. After you experience enough trauma it gives you brain fog and you can not think or feel correctly which can actually become near permanent brain damage. Once you lose your last lifeline, forming new bonds feels like an insurmountable mountain and some people are not able to get out of that hole. James was not a bad person, but a compromised person on the brink of the point of no return and the endings are possible outcomes real people go through depending on their choices and situations when they are on the brink. Brain fog...A condition that involves memory problems, lack of mental clarity, ability to focus and connect. Sorta like Silent Hill.

[@williamtenkate2789]

Absolutely. I experience this myself, and I don't really know what to do about it. After immense, continuous losses, it seems like I've lost the ability to feel close and safe and connected. It's not me *refusing* to reach out or try. Lord knows I do. But that connecting function of the brain just... doesn't seem to operate. It's incredibly lonely and depressing. I know I'm surrounded by emotional abundance. I just can't experience it or partake in it.

[@SerpentineDeity]

And you are not a bad person for it in the least. The long term neurological damage that comes with this brain fog is something that you can only heal as gradually as it took to get you in this state. Consistent positivity that will help you heal until you start becoming more like your old self. At a certain point you even need medication because the brain has forgotten how to produce those feel good chemicals and adapts to misery. Don't give up even if others give up on you. @@williamtenkate2789

[@soggybreadman4035]

Bro connecting silent hill as a whole to the concept of "brain fog" just blew my mind.

[@ud0ntevenkn0wme]

It's not just rejection. It's the excessive judgment men receive if they don't put in effort trying to make friends or maintain a social circle. It's seen as "creepy" or whatever. I had just got married and my wife's coworker found out I didn't have any friends. I had just moved to a new State but still didn't have much interest in making friends. Most people are selfish and fake. My wife didn't have a problem with it, until her friends took her aside and told her I was probably a serial killer or something, or I would just use her because I was desperate, which doesn't even make sense. It's you normies over the top reactions to loners that makes loners miserable more than anything else.

[@Daelyah]

Always feeling like I'm fighting through brain fog, usually in tandem with maladaptive daydreaming. Yet, I also feel bad with how my compounding health issues usually make me feel like I'm a burden to my partner. He does what he can for me, but I worry sometimes that I may wind up being his Mary. I'm wishing some day to improve in all those areas; I'm just...sometimes worried if I even can.

[@abbypierce4196]

Beautiful essay! I had never made the connection of Pyramid Head gaining the great sword after Jame’s holds onto Angel’s knife. Crazy there is still so much to dissect in this game after so many years.

[@MertKayKay]

Thanks Abby! My friend had to point that out to me, I never would have noticed myself otherwise

[@LukulluTV]

Okay. I have a couple problems with this interpretations that I will try to voice here. This is not to attack anyone or invalidate their perspectives. Just adding my own. I never got the impression that James doesn't connect with anyone because he is just inherintly incapable. It looks to me as if he would, but processing his trauma and coming to terms with himself and what he did stands in his way. That's why that is his priority. You cannot help anyone if you cannot help yourself first. Put on your own oxygen mask first and all that. Seeing him as "pathetic" instead of someone struggling is also in my eyes a gross injustice to him and everyone that identifies with male loneliness. It is akin to just telling them to man up. No empathy. No support. Him coming to Silent Hill (for me) signifies his willingnes to process and confront his in this case literal demons. He definetly has enormous character flaws. Eddie is pathetic. He starts to process his problems by coming to Silent Hill but is consumed by them never making a single step in the right direction. In the In Water ending James looses a fight he actually fought. In the leave ending he wins. In the Maria ending he starts fighting but then puts it off. That last ending is the only one where I would describe James as pathetic. He found a way to distract his psyche away from what has to heal and jumps into the next thing which can only ever be toxic with such a lousy foundation. (Which I am in no way making Maria's fault) Furthermore making James responsible for Angela's outcome feels weird. They are both in this town to deal with their problems. Yet it is his moral responsibility to look out for her? This is either a moral failing on both of their parts or neither.

[@LobselVith13]

If I remember correctly, the part of Mary's muffled screams was omitted because someone, I don't remember if a developer or the publisher, thought that it was really a bit too much, it's really more of a censorship thing for something more tasteful than a full artistic choice for player interpretation I think

[@domonictabango3255]

so, here's my thing. I was raised by a single mom, dad in prison, moved a lot and never really established any lifelong friendships. wasnt in a relationship until i was 25 and it lasted nearly 2 years. it was all i had then, the only real connection i knew. when it ended, it was a sunday and there was a fire burning in a nearby town. ash and smoke everywhere, set up for a selfish death spiral that took a year to run out. call it a perpetual fugue state that I only just escaped. that self bemoaning for the sake of context aside, enter my personal connection to SH2: this feeling of void that the developers were able to convey is akin to a mirror; I firmly believe it must have come from a personal place for them . the way James interacts with the other 'victims' of circumstance in the story are absolutely derived from the way a longing and lost person would be. James doesn't care that Eddy is a murderer, he resents his actions but not the person. Angela has so much pain that she can't help but inflict on others and herself, but James just accepts it. You can see his loss of self identity in the way he interacts; He really is trying to find himself again by helping others. It's a coping mechanism, primarily, for guilt and loneliness. At least, this is my own flavor to add to most other observations. My own ex was very emotionally neglectful, overbearing, relatively cruel when he wanted to be. I can imagine a time or two when I wished he was gone, certainly, and the guilt that made me feel was intense (obviously talking about breaking up here, not freaking murder). I felt like I had a duty to see that relationship through, you know, man up and deal with it. And when it ended, even though i knew it was for the best for both of us, i felt like i had failed at life. People can do terrible things to themselves when they feel like they have failed, and people can accidentally wear a great cage on their head to hide from their own disjointed nature. Maybe that's what being Pyramid Head is really all about. I guess this is the first time I've really viewed that figure as an extension of James' own hidden personality, rather than a divine punisher or a being born from sadomasochism. That would make it's sudden and symbolic suicide far more in line with the rest of the games' theme and story, and I'm really grateful you brought it up. The act of placing a head on a pole, the way Pyramid Head kills itself, is in it's own right linked to several divine beliefs about the soul and purgatory. But I'd like to point out something a lot of people miss or enjoy glossing over. This game has positivity. There is a good ending, and there are pointed messages aimed at the power of forgiveness and self acceptance. While you control James, you are actively helping him in the way he is trying to help others. The people he wants to save are doomed, but it is up to you to decide whether or not James is doomed as well. This meta-narrative is so well woven in the gameplay you might not even notice it. You are empowered to aid James, the very way a lonely person may desire to help a friend. It's designed to reach us, to communicate to the loneliest people. As much as this game conveys a male archetype of loneliness, it's really designed to appeal to one whole core group : victims. And victims, or even their victimizers, are typically lost so deep within themselves that they can't get back out. They see things that aren't real, they forget important memories and forge false identities for themselves. Sometimes they even create imaginary people to talk to. But within all the negativity, there is always a positive choice. The game's bad ending is actually hard to get without knowing better, you really need to put yourself in that position to experience it. They designed the game so most players would experience the 'forgiveness' ending first, and I feel like that speaks loudly to the message of the game as a hole. Silent Hill 2 is not meant to be an endurance test for sorrow - It's a game about being a victim, and forgiveness. There is a line in the game slightly akin to a Zen philosophy, 'There was a hole here - It's gone now.' You have two choices when you dig yourself a hole. Fill it in, or jump inside and bury yourself. Men are expected to always have the power to do the prior, it's ingrained in our way of being. We almost always end up doing the latter. History supplants this argument. And yet, in the end, I think there is a message here that deserves pondering. If the phrase 'man up' came to be, did it not come to be due to our emotional capacity for loneliness? Who derived that phrase, and why does it still pass by these days? Is it a moniker for us to remember, to chant to ourselves as we walk through our own hazy fog? Or is it truly a damnation of our emotions? And if it is a damnation, I think it only speaks to the position of whoever invented the phrase. Frankly, we will never know. They may have been trying to be supportive, they may have been belittling. So I guess we're deciding what it means ourselves. Two way phrase. Man up. Thank you so much for making this video, this just made me think about things again with a new perspective. You inspired me and I wrote a small essay, fml lol

[@niono1587]

Good read bruvva

[@ShaddySoldier]

You as the player are just as much a part of the story as he is, i suppose. I like that read on it.

[@rusteddamsel5848]

The statement of "I'm your best friend or I'm just in passing" is a statement I've struggled with in councilling cause I struggle to make true connections when I don't have energy left from existing. Just resonates.

[@tristanmoors7835]

Babe wake up new Mert video just dropped

[@alexroy5854]

Actually what I say to my Fiancée lol

[@olympiaoshiadahail9216]

YES HONEY

[@rushrushw]

the video is about the lack of babe

[@mirandawhittaker8481]

You remind me of the lack of babe.

[@LuciferHunter-kt7pm]

Babes slumber until certain videos pop up on the KZbins. Then…. The babes arise to view said videos on the KZbins.

[@b1akn3ss93]

You don’t have to go through something to empathise with someone

[@SomeSunshineOutside]

that's sympathizing

[@therealPT302]

yes you do

[@SomeSunshineOutside]

@@Cobweb_Cow well alright, so what would one need experience to have?

[@prouddegenerates9056]

That’s sympathy, not empathy

[@MyAccount217]

@@SomeSunshineOutsideempathy doesn’t mean you went through the same thing the other person did

[@concerninghobbits5536]

I get a little tired of some of the silent hill 2 video essays because they can feel a bit samey, but Mert seems to always give a really interesting take on things so this is exciting! Especially being a lonely male myself, very interesting connection.

[@MertKayKay]

Thank you! I'm so glad I managed to deliver that fresh take for you

[@WynneL]

I completely agree with you; I've seen a lot of SH2 video essays, but none with such a genius level of insight. Typical Mert. I hope things get better for you soon. 🫂💐

[@scary5455]

Why don't you put your socials in your KZbin bio, and why don't the people liking your comment try get you to contact them?

[@ud0ntevenkn0wme]

I felt pretty dismissed and talked down to as a mentally suffering male by this video. Like she was just accusing James and lonely males of "toxic masculinity" the whole time.

[@ReubMann]

@ud0ntevenkn0wme sorry you came away with that view man. I on the other hand came away from this video with a more nuanced view on the matter.

[@burntgrahamcracker2866]

While I don’t like commenting on subject matter I don’t have direct involvement with having never played any silent hill I have watched a lot of videos on it and I’d like to add a personal perspective. I do think James tries with people but his depression has seriously impacted his confidence and thought processing to the point he knows what he should do or say but lacks the drive or lucidity to properly act on it. The final scene with Angela is a good example as tries to stop her and backs off when she mocks his attempt. I take it that he knows he can’t be the one to do that but still believes others would he’s just left mute not knowing the appropriate response since I’ve done this before when people share sad stories, you want to avoid cliches whilst also being comforting. Anyway I hope that’s useful and not way off the mark

[@agentspliff]

"laura is real" - guy whro wrote the game.

[@UniversalConscript]

I'm a man and I have problems building connections. I feel lonely sometimes, but I have been alone for so long, I have kind of gotten used to it. It's true that society encurages men to keep their emotions to themselves, especially unpleasent ones, but there is something else. Maybe I'm a special case since there was a lot of neglect in my family, but from what I remember, nobody ever really tried to build a connection to me. My parents didn't care, but the teachers didn't either, nobody really. I learned that I am somebody who nobody wants a connection to and so I shut myself off from everybody else.

[@the_kekromancer9779]

I sympathize so much. I was bullied in school and my teacher always blamed for shit i never did, i was always the quiet reserved kid and never bothered anyone but i still got dealt such a shitty hand in my early developmental years. I only had few friends growing up, and those that i had a connection with either bettayed me or just contact with. This is exactly the reason why I don't bother initiating any connections with people unless they do first because i am really fucking tired of people's bullshit

[@100organicfreshmemes5]

I relate to this a lot, often feels like trying to make connections would just lead to a feigned friendship out of pity or a rejection.

[@ConnorJara]

I think this succinctly describes what I went through. At my lowest, I remember walking aimlessly around places with tons of people for the better part of a year. I think i was looking for a single interaction from anyone, negative, positive, didn't matter just some affirmation of life. It never came, and eventually I found work and became social again through that. But I'll tell you, as soon as I stop engaging, like you said...not a single person would take interest in me or want to interact or engage with me. I think that is the crux of male loneliness, a fundamental understanding that the majority of people are indifferent towards you. No one has interest in you, and you have to create you opportunities. But what if you don't want to always be creating opportunities?

[@Skullnaught]

I really have to disagree with the idea of James just being lazy to form connections. He is likely in shock after what he has done and depression massively effects any social drive

[@gagepalmer6234]

same here. to me if he lacked as much empathy as she claims he wouldn’t have been bothered at all to agree to take the knife from angela. and even tho he killed his wife he was still remorseful about it when he remembered and was really upset when he killed eddie as well

[@runswithbears3517]

Just typical of society these days: when men face problems, it is because there's something wrong with them.

[@theMaxTero]

There are some mistakes: -Pyramid Head has nothing to do with the letter going blank. It happens after fighting Eddie and there's no evidence that suggests that encountering PH triggers the letter going blank (you can argue that PH has something to do with it since the other PH appears after James killed a 2nd person, but it's super farfetched) -What dissapears after the confrontations from the 2 PH is the envelope. The letter itself dissapears after James watches the videotape I really liked the video and thoughtful insight that you made but I highly disagree with your statement of James not trying to help Angela. James is in a state of delusion so, no matter what, he can't help anyone else because he isn't able to help himself. It's not from a lack of not being able to connect with others, it's from a lack of not being able to connect from himself. The man just killed his wife so, why would he be connecting with ANYONE? He doesn't even connects with Maria, even tho she tries really hard and he awkwardly accepts only because she reminds him of Mary. So your point about that was extremely weird because A: we have our playable character that, besides being a piece of trash, he doesn't even values his own life from the get go (literally, when he encounters Angela on the cemetery he says something alongside the lines "I really don't care if the town is dangerous or not, I'm going, which on your 1st playthrough you may think that it's a noble thing but when you replay it, you can tell that he just doesn't care anymore) and B: Angela has an extreme fear of men. Even if our main char would've been the most empathetic and understanding man, Angela wouldn't open up to this random dude in this foggy place (and this is an oxymoron because if you're in SH, usually, it's not for a good reason). So I highly disagree with your statement that "if he would've talked with her, she would've been saved" because James, from the get go, wasn't even able of saving himself. I mean, his delusion is so big that a big muscular dude with a pyramid HAD to appear to tell him "bitch, wake up"

[@raymondmurdock8603]

I agree to me James seems to be shut down and cut off because of trauma not malicious but he's also literally an insane psychopath that murdered someone so either way he's not a good example but then to extrapolate that he's an example of why most men are responsible for their own loneliness feels like a stretch just like in the game IRL the world is a cold hostile place you learn really quickly that you can't trust people and you know people don't trust you so not being able to bond with these random strangers while you're struggling with your own deeply fucked up shit feels very appropriate!! this just feels more like more let's shame men and tell them to do better bs men say we're sad and lonely and she delivers a 30 minute essay on why you should treat your wife better? IDK that doesn't feel very fair to me!

[@vicho451]

@@raymondmurdock8603 I highly disagree with the characterization of of james as "insane psychopath", he is just insane. He was driven insane out of grief, frustration and guilt. If he was a psychopath he wouldn't care nor felt guilt about his murder of his wife nor the self-defense killing of Eddie, where he is worried enough about him to check whether he was alive or not after the boss fight! Also, the point about about "all that was needed was a talk to get meaningful connections" is fucking stupid here. Could she saved and made a meaningful connection with Angela? Someone who is more broken than him? No. Could he have helped and made an ally of Eddie, a blood thirsty killer? No. Could she Could any of them helped James with his troubles? Fuck no. Only James can help himself, which he does in the leave ending that she mostly ignores. Also, Angela rebuff the mere idea of having James help her, mocking the idea in her last scene. Why? Because she is also suicidal as James. I highly agree with the sentiment that this video fails to to be an example that men are the makers of their own loneliness, because while the world may not be actually be a cold hostile place, Silent hill fucking is. Furthermore, Angela is a akin to james: both dealt with factors outside of their control via murder (Angela's horrific abuse and Mary's terminal disease in James case), murder which didn't bring peace to neither of them and became catalysts for their own self hatred. Lastly, he can cares about Angela, and to a lesser extend, Eddie. To each person Silent hill looks different (This is confirmed in silent hill 3, where Claudia and Heather perceive god in radical different ways.), hence why Laura isnt scared to being in there, she doesnt have a reason to be there and she is too innocent to be tormented by the town; why Angela's own otherworld is in constant fire and why Eddie's boss arena is filled with hanging meat that look like torsos of obese men. The mere fact james can see their otherworld is proof that she can empathize with them.

[@EntertheFray1]

The whole video is a stretch. Listening to this is more like a feminist trying to relate this to some form of 'toxic masculinity', as opposed to anything to do with SH2 or trauma in general. The way she viewed Eddie as opposed to Angela is interesting. Eddie was framed as an insecure toxic male that essentially chose destructive paths that refused to do the work to overcome his traumas. Meanwhile, Angela gets no such criticism, despite being in the same position. Yes, Angela is destructive. She's just internally destructive as opposed to what we see Externally in Eddie. Neither are good. But there is no reflection or consideration that perhaps Angela refused to do the work to overcome her traumas as there was with Eddie. In fact, the next part in the video goes on to list James as being partially held responsible because he could have done something earlier to save Angela, rather than any critique towards Angela. I watched the full video, but I can clearly see the prejudicial views formed on both here based around sex. I think this analysis of SH2 should be considered with that in mind.

[@ud0ntevenkn0wme]

​@@EntertheFray1yeah I just turned her voice off after a few minutes so I could read the comments and I'm glad people are calling out her bigoted ideology.

[@GenesisBoi]

Also i thought it was confirmed the giant knife represents the immensely guilt or burden of Mary that James had to drag around. Never associated it with angela

[@du0lol]

>masculine traits >wears only a green jacket I feel attacked

[@jkas95]

As someone who had to be hospitalized for just a couple days under quarantine (back in like 2017) where no one would stay very long & everyone wore PPE the whole time, the thought of having to live like that for YEARS is horrifying

[@SagaciousDude]

OK so first watch just kind of noticed something... James does have multiple opportunities to make deeper connections with the other characters through the story. However there is something seemingly overlooked. None of them actually asked him for help. I only mention this because that is often the solution presented for "lonely" men. Ask for help. Open up. However notice that in this analysis it seems that James is the one that is expected to take the incitive in these opportunities. He could have done more, reached out more etc. It can be hard to be the helper when you need help. Also if he reached out that doesn't necessarily mean that his loneliness will be remedied. Helping others can be beneficial but can also just be used to distract yourself from your own problems. Men are expected to solve their own problems while everyone admits that they are also not taught how to. Literal sink or swim... In water actually makes a lot of sense.

[@dungeonsanddobbers2683]

Yeah, it's always weird to me when I see people make comments about how James "Should have tried reaching out more to Eddie/Angela" because...well, the guy is, himself, _extremely_ fucking depressed. On top of that he's having to deal with receiving a letter from his wife who died 3 years ago, a town full of monsters, and the slow unravelling of the personal delusion he created for himself to cope with the horrific crime he committed. The man's got enough problems of his own to deal with without having to act as a therapist for other people.

[@CyberWoof]

I agree. Throughout most of his encounters with Eddie and Angela, James had to accommodate them even though he was suffering in his own way too. One could argue that Eddie and Angela could've met James halfway. In life, relationships and even small interactions are incredibly complex so it's easier to point fingers when things go wrong rather than really think/empathize. Sure, James could've handled some of those interactions better but the same can be said about everyone else he met in Silent Hill. The tragedy was that everyone was too wrapped up and too far gone in their own suffering to save each other. The game doesn't make it clear about what everyone else was perceiving so we're left to guess, which is exactly like real life. It's hard to know exactly how someone will perceive something we may say or do until it's too late, especially strangers. This can be applied to male loneliness as well. As a 24 year old male myself, I have seen and experienced plenty of scenarios where you reach out to other men and women alike only to be shut out or even used. It's especially infuriating when you're told that everything was solely your fault when things didn't work out. Yes, you could've done things better but you tried. Sometimes you're even punished for trying in the first place as you can be confused with those who have bad intentions. It can seem like you're damned if you do and damned if you don't which is why many men just give up. Ideally, we should all try to put a sufficient amount of effort in cultivating and maintaining relationships regardless of what "side" we're on or what we're going through. It's important to determine who has good intentions and if they're willing to learn from their mistakes. We should all try to meet each other halfway because most of life's burdens are too heavy to handle by ourselves. We're all accountable/responsible to a degree.

[@TYR1139]

Or maybe this video is just a strech

[@dude9038]

@@TYR1139 It's one of the worst SH2 intepretations i've seen in a while

[@goranisacson2502]

I think it might just be that after we realize that the twist is that James killed Mary, and possibly not even from a sympathetic reason like "saving her life", most viewers / gamers aren't really willing to extend any sort of grace or sympathy to James.

[@nerostark4320]

James's father, Frank Sunderland, appears in Silent Hill 4 and there are hints about what happened to James, but no clear answers.

[@hieunguyenrileygekko]

how to help a man with mental problems: being supportive both mentally and emotionally toward him ✖ tell him to man up, be a man ✔

[@MertKayKay]

Sage

[@FromTheWombTotheGrave]

Both are worst advice

[@icravedeath.1200]

One is great, the other is trash. (Hint:the order matches up with the OG comment).

[@Killgore-ip2yq]

Ah, yes, the classic Andrew Tate sage advice I see alarming everywhere. 😅

[@icravedeath.1200]

@@FromTheWombTotheGrave if you don't try to ask others to help you have no right to bitch about the outcome of not doing so.

[@ZimSan]

16:35 What the fuck are you talking about? The town CONSTANTLY toys with him. It judges him and wants him to die. Hell you even show footage of the town telling him he should off himself. It does the same thing with Angela and Eddie. All three of them of them commited a crime of passion and the town is hostile towards them luring them into it. The reason James' otherworld is so different because it represents his repression. Not to mention the further you get through the game the worse they become to the point at the end of the hotel where it's just decay and confusing nonsensical corridors 23:26 No one is able to forge connections in the game. That's the point. These are all damaged figures with severe trauma who meet strangers in a hostile town. The only argument you could make is that James doesn't forge a connection with Laura but she is actively hostile towards him being a bratty child since she thinks James is a dick before she ever meets him. The idea that Laura is a figment of his imagination is also pretty ridiculous. There is not the slightest hint towards this notion in the game. 24:42 James does not kill himself because he is lonely. He literally can't live with the guilt of killing his wife. He's been lonely for these three years, yes but his trauma and the inability to move on from it is what makes him drive off a cliff 26:29 Mary was sick for three years and these three years were the reason he killed her. Not because she was in the house for a few days where he took care of her. James remembers her dying three years ago because the Mary he knew and loved died three years ago. Symbolically. After the diagnosis. 30:15 It doesn't want him to listen. It wants to judge and punish him. Give him anguish. That's why Maria constantly gets revived and killed by Pyramid Head, why it chases after James to kill him which is very much possible before you get to the last fight between them. PH kills itself because James faces what he does and there is nothing they can do to give him more mental pain anymore. The first time you ever see about what PH is about is this: Misty day, remains of the Judgment. There is more but I can't bother. Honestly a lot of this video is like a mix of projection, contradictions and half-truths to make your case. It's okay you wanna dislike James and criticize male behavior in society but at least be fully honest about what the game tells and shows the player.

[@solaceandorwell9069]

Right, she said she liked james upon her first playthrough, then disliked him more and more, almost as if she was trying to nitpick everything he did or didn't do in order to satisfy her own predispositions. Masculinity is toxic after all, gotta find something wrong with him. 30:46 she presents a potential solution to male loneliness - without thinking for a moment that celibacy is not a choice that sexless men make for themselves - but somehow spins it into a negative for women? Like women are better off when men are sexless? So many ignorant takes in this video.

[@jelly3216]

It's funny she has a review of the game "Medium" titled "how to miss the point of Silent Hill", when she herself completely misses the point.

[@gagepalmer6234]

thank god for your comment man lmao the whole time i’m screaming to myself all the inconsistencies she’s saying. like why even title the video what she did. and the whole point about james supposed to be nice to mary bc she has feelings and shit then immediately follows it up by her dying and being brought back over and over again like she is obviously some sort of entity the town put for him not a clone of his wife that actually loves him with feelings. like what.

[@revenant097]

26:42 Take what exactly at face value? I really don't get where this is coming from. In the Maria ending, just before the final boss when confronted by the illusion of Mary he tells her "It was a long three years... I was tired", and in the Leave and In Water endings he says he "wanted his life back", and that part of him "hated her for taking away my life"... so either these lines are sincere and James didn't just give up after mere DAYS of caring for his wife... or he's cartonishly selfish... and impatient, and pretty much outright evil which I don't think was Team Silent's intention, and is kind of incompatible with the whole thing about his sexual frustration manifesting as monsters. 49:20 Again, where is this coming from?

[@mbronchiosoarouseseseseses9755]

I think your it maybe your confused about the comment on james killing mary after only a weekend of taking care of her: I think she means to say after the three years of hospitalization, Mary gets a weekend at home from her doctors as a kind of last moments in a happy place: the video creators theory is that this weekend at home is the last weekend before James kills Mary, being that, along with the years of the harsh illness' effects on both of them, the weekend of Marys constant presence and doing all the caretaking himself is what pushed him over the edge finally. Idk if there's any textual evidence of him not visiting much while she's in hospital though it could be assumed that someone may eventually start visiting less after years of a grueling illness. Hope I understood and helped 👍

[@Kelly-wc8ue]

Weird sidetrack; but I relate a lot to SH2 cause of Mary. I myself am sick, and the way she splits in two parts of herself is so so recognizable. Also the relationship with James, the wanting to die, the anger Mary experiences. Its insane how accurate of an experience it is for someone who is ill like me.

[@thecomedian6391]

This video hurt. I am just reaching my 20s and over the past 2 years since I graduated high school, I've let almost every connection I have go other than my gf. I've probably only talked to my 2 best friends a total of 5 or 6 times in those 2 years while relying on my girlfriend for everything else when it comes to my social life. I've been replaying silent hill 2 over and over again like reheating comfort food. I've been reading and watching Berserk, Vinland Saga, and Vagabond over and over too, and they have just felt so close to where I feel like I've been. It just felt like home for some reason and this video has finally highlighted why I've felt this way for close to 2 years. I haven't allowed myself to get close to anyone because I feel like I can't because since graduation, everything has felt too busy and nobody has any time to hang out or do anything much less the energy to do anything. I've felt angry and depressed due to all this, but I've had the ability to make friends since then, but haven't let myself reach out to make new friends because I just don't know how. Thankfully I might finally be seeing a therapist soon and i can work things out.

[@sabresister]

Cannot recommend therapy enough. Also it sounds like you’re maintaining some social connections which is good, don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s normal after a big transition like graduating to drift apart from others. It’s ok to not have a huge circle of friends if you’re able to be close to the ones you have

[@AlexisHiemis]

As someone who struggled immensely to get into new friendships after university, I had some very very lonely years where my friendships were falling apart and I had no one to relate to. Therapy helped, but also going out and trying to meet new people via specific interests, hobbys, and providing local help to strangers like mounting curtain rods and stuff like that. It doesn't always work out, but it helps keeping your social muscles active and from the dozens of strangers I managed to build some friendships. It's hard (doubly as I'm also autistic and have a hard time knowing peoples emotions) but it's worth investing the time. You can do it!

[@HeatherHolt]

It’s hard to make new friends, bc we are always concerned with how others will see us, can we trust them, can we let them in. But that’s the part of growing up, sadly. And eventually you get to your 30s, have maybe 2 or 3 close friends besides a significant other, and a decent amount of acquaintances. People disappoint you, and you learn to take quality over quantity. It sucks, but we can’t appreciate the good without the occasional bad. There’s no perfect formula to a happy life. It’s more about accepting who you are, finding others who do too, and not giving a fk about those that don’t (obvs be polite but don’t give more than you’re getting in any relationship to one extreme or another). Life is hard enough as is, but as humans we do crave comfort, nostalgia. We have rose colored glasses about the old days, we forget the bad parts mostly and only remember the good times. You still have so much life ahead of you, so much fun, so much time to make mistakes, fall in and out of love, find friends and lose them and find more still, but no matter what make sure you’re doing what’s best for you and those you love and not conforming to some idea that you must do X by this age otherwise youre stagnating. We only get one life. Don’t let it pass you by my friend. There are so many other people who feel a similar way, they just don’t have the guts to speak it like you did. Maybe even your best friends whom you haven’t spoken with in a while. Keep reaching out, give them the push. And if they don’t reciprocate, move on. Keep a small place for them but put your effort into those who place effort into you. That’s not selfishness, it’s time management. ❤❤ you got this.

[@life4trinity]

Therapy is useless. When I came to God that's when I truly began my road of recovery.

[@AlexisHiemis]

@@life4trinity God is useless. When I came to therapy that's when I truly began my road of recovery.

[@DashingDavid]

Pyramid head doesn’t have a larger version of the knife James is holding for Angela. He has one half of a pair of scissors. James finds the other half when he gets the great knife. This comes from Ito himself.

[@jettcode]

Thank you for this amazing video. When I worked in palliative care, we knew from the moment we took on a patient that she was likely to end her life alone. The number of husbands who came in complaining, "What am I going to do about the kids?" or "Do I have to stay?" while their still-young wives were battling widespread cancer was just so frustrating. But beyond the anger I felt (and struggled to contain), what jumped out at me was the profound loneliness of these men and the lack of support outside of their wives (or their mothers, for that matter). I've often seen sick women surrounded their friends, some of them even staying until the end, but I've rarely seen that in male patients. I haven't played Silent Hill 2 but watching your excellent video and analysis I realise that James sounds like the husbands of most of my female patients. There's a lot to be said for male isolation and I've enjoyed listening to your thoughts on the subject. It's clearly a topic that deserves to be discussed without people feeling obliged to accuse one side or the other.

[@windy8544]

i suspect that a lot of women wouldn't go there either if not for social pressure

[@jettcode]

@@windy8544 Are you talking about the… social pressure of caring for your dying spouse?

[@SmoughTown]

Been waiting for this! Thanks for all the quality content Mert

[@MertKayKay]

Thanks for literally everything you say and do Smough

[@RaspberryPastry]

There really isn't enough structural support for a sick person and their loved ones to really confront their emotional turmoil in the healthcare system. I work in long term care and I've seen an unhealthy amount of families who either prolong their loved ones lives beyond what's merciful for their quality of life (often times people who aren't even able to breathe or eat without mechanical intervention) and families that are so bitter towards their sick loved one that they intervene and use their power of attorney to refuse granting their grandparents even the slightest of pain relief, let alone treatments that could restore their health eventually. Both sides of the coin can end up relentlessly punishing the sick for the sin of being sick because they're too afraid to confront the potential death of a loved one, opting to either fight the inevitable out of denial or try to accelerate the process out of anger. Neither is healthy, but because there's virtually no guidance or counselling for the grieving process, most people don't even get the opportunity to digest the reality of their situation, leaving them to reach conclusions out of spite or avoid reaching a conclusion at all.

[@RavusNox-z5i]

Reality is society is ultra tough and hard, and if you aren't married in your 30s, it can be immensely hard mentally. For men and women btw. Not just men. The thing nobody taught me (and others) is how age changes things. As soon as you are out of highschool, or college (which extends that period a little), you are alone. There is no more group to adhere to. That's where loneliness comes from. And why social media is so popular (parasocial relationships). The thing society doesn't tell you is that just havign a decent job and money doesn't fix mental health. Humans need companionship and belonging. You usually have that in highschool but it vanishes in adulthood and can be extremely tough to naviguate. In the worst case it results in suicide or criminal activity.

[@jaysistar2711]

I was friends with a couple that played Silent Hill 2. The girl said "Everybody treats you like dirt in this game." The guy said that he hadn't noticed. "That's no different than most people treat me everyday."

[@noahgaming8833]

Relatable, lol

[@Rubi0o0]

I'm not sure you really understood the point of this video essay

[@stoneylonesome4062]

@@Rubi0o0What’s the point then as you interpret it?

[@anthonyf616]

That's fine. She doesn't really seem to understand anything either ​@@Rubi0o0

[@Rubi0o0]

@@stoneylonesome4062 bruh

[@burntgrahamcracker2866]

I don’t think I’m a typical man so I don’t know if this is a common mindset but I personally have a deep seated paranoia around everyone I meet that affects every relationship I have, a constant feeling that every interaction is based around what’s expected of people and not a genuine response. With this in mind I can very easily see how a lot of people are lonely, if you believe that no one really wants to speak to you then doing anything yourself is wasted effort and is more likely to annoy them. I don’t know if this stems from bullying but I would still say that to anyone feeling like I do still make the effort you can’t be sure that people don’t like you until they admit to it so err on the safe side.

[@amharbinger]

In a lot of ways, James would be considered the best example of masculinity. He's very fit, brave to take on monsters that would send most people running, and dives headfirst into danger to save Laura and Angela. But as the player we are made aware of all his insecurities, stuff that as a guy I can attest we are harshly told to never express. The idea of him running away from facing his wife's terminal condition, ending her, and never expressing his true feelings in such a profoundly passionless way that Silent Hill created not just Pyramid Head but sexy nurses shows how repressed he was in so many ways. But like every person we have a breaking point, in the case of Eddie being consumed by violence, Angela by despair, and James by loneliness. As a guy, James highlights a lot of qualities of what it means to be a man by definition but in practice leads down the path towards Silent Hill.

[@fauxspox2383]

Who the fuck is Billy!

[@TYR1139]

James ain't brave

[@johnnypt14]

I don't know much about silent hill but as a man I can confirm that it does seem easier, at times, to charge into total madness and danger than to be emotionally available or sort out some emotional hangups

[@sugoi9680]

@@fauxspox2383 Billy Coen absolute chad

[@JDM-is-my-name]

I will never truly understand the deep loneliness that some men face, that's just a fact about me. And I will never truly understand the deep loneliness some women face, that's just another fact about me. But I have noticed it. I have noticed the way my grandmother feels sad when she doesn't see me for over a week. I have noticed my dad wanting to be connected to me and my siblings. I have noticed my dad's ex and her desperation for comfort. I am not sure if there is a true epidemic of male loneliness, but I am sure that there is a social pressure to not mention your loneliness. I am on the spectrum and, if you could quantify it, my need for social interacting is pretty low. I could probably handle myself with my pets and a few humans to talk to every few days. I have been alone for multiple days before, my only companions being a handful of animals. Loneliness is such a foreign concept to me because I have never experienced loneliness. And maybe that's part of how I was raised. I can just reach out, no problem. If I want to talk, I can just write to someone and await response. I am thankful that my brothers aren't lonely. I have two of them, both younger than me. The oldest form relationships in weird ways I'll never understand (his oldest friend was made through a fist fight) and the youngest cling to connection (he has a discord that I'm a part of for all his friends). Friendships and connections are so very strange and form through random little acts, but they can mean a lot. So, in case you are a person who can't see those connection lines, please know that that is OK. Sometimes you can't see them, but we are all just little creatures tied together with invisible string. If you feel lonely, try to reach out, even if it's just a bit, just a single person. I'm sure you can do this, even if it takes time or it's hard work. Best of luck and best of connections to you. Sorry for the long comment :) I hope at least the ending finds you well

[@Romanticoutlaw]

I appreciate your perspective a lot. I used to be cripplingly lonely,and cripplingly needy. I attribute a lot of this to my social struggle with my peers growing up and that I was never given any tools to by my parents--I was just kind of expected to know how to socialize, because they sure didn't. My parents, to my knowledge, have less than three friends, and one of those friends overlaps between them both. I made some connections in grade school, mostly by my sheer force of hanging around people until they went from tolerating me to including me. I never really felt wanted by anybody. And then some point after I flunked out of college and I had only one real present friendship online, something shifted in me. I still felt a degree of romantic loneliness, got into a committed cohabitative relationship, and then just... stopped feeling any need for a romantic connection after having "completed" it. Which, as you can imagine, had detrimental effects on that relationship, and I still feel bad that I made her be the one to break up with me. My one online friend (who I had previously gone through an arc of unrequitedly pining for and getting over) has become basically the only person I have what I'd describe as a "need" to talk to. Other people, even family, I just don't feel the sensation of missing them until I consciously remember what it feels like to miss someone. I basically don't feel romantic attraction to anybody at this point either, I just know that I like the _idea_ of a relationship but I don't want the responsibility of maintaining another conditional (and rightly so; I wouldn't find an unconditional romantic love healthy, generally) relationship with... anybody, really. It's very weird and I often wonder if I should try to get that "fixed" about me, even though it would objectively make me less happy if I was able to feel lonely again. So even though our cases are quite different, it's comforting to think that maybe my social needs are just less than they were, and it might be okay to have less of that need than other people do. Thank you for sharing.

[@JDM-is-my-name]

@@Romanticoutlaw I am happy to know that my experience can be related to! I happen to be aroace, meaning that sexual and romantic attraction has never factored in for me, so I can't relate on that side. And yeah, social need is a thing that can be hard to understand sometimes. From what I read, if you don't mind me analysing it a bit, you seem to be coming along nicely. You have reflected on your situation and now you can use that reflection to further future relationships. Keep going! Keep listening to yourself and make sure you properly feed your social need as needed. :) I don't think you need to "fix" anything about yourself (at least on this point, haha), just keep listening to yourself and consider your needs and make sure to work with them! For me, social need is like hunger. You must eat to satisfy that need. If you ain't "hungry" in social need, then you are doing good! I'm sorry if this metaphor seems a bit strange, but make sure you don't starve your social need. Keep yourself well fed. And sidenote, I don't think romantic love can be unconditional. There are conditions for romantic attraction and therefore, for romantic love. Just remember that familial love should be unconditional and that universal love and care is unconditional because you are a person and by virtue of that alone, you are worthy of love and care. Sometimes, you have to be the first person to love and care about yourself. Sorry if I am rambling! I just wanted to share a bit more based on your comment. Live well and live good

[@RedSpade37]

I could have written a very similar comment. There are dozens of us haha.

[@JDM-is-my-name]

@@RedSpade37 truly the joys of the Internet, bringing people together who share similar experiences :)

[@robertjamestaylor9261]

I mean, yeah, that's the point of the story, that he first tells Angela he's not like her, even though he obviously is, and it takes Maria dying like three more times, before he realizes he's facing the consequences of his selfishness. And that he fails to protect her time after time. You even mention it later discussing pyramid head, so why do you scold him for failing to bond with his fellow sufferers? That's like expecting Scrooge to change before he saw christmas ghosts. On the other hand he eventually saves Angela completely selflessly, and even tries to comfort her but she snaps at him. I never took the burning staircase scene as an act of James indifference, much the opposite, he tells her what happened was not her fault, he tries to console her but she's too far gone into her despair, and even if she could be saved, is James the one to do it? You failed Mary, failed Maria, how are you the man to save anyone? That's why he hangs his head in shame. Also you completely lost me at discussing James and Pyramid Head masculinity features. How is James any more able-bodied than Heather in SH3? Also yelling at Laura, telling off Eddie for eating pizza and eventually calling him nuts seems hardly stoic to me. As for Pyramid head, yes, the movie and Homecoming made him buff, but SH2? Come on now, he's pretty much James' size, maybe even leaner, and he has problems even swinging his blade. An executioner, a judge, a butcher? Yes. A masculinity manifestation Tyler Durden? Hell no.

[@tri3s4life]

Thanks for at least considering that the "male loneliness epidemic" might be real instead of just mocking and dismissing it. It's rough when nobody even believes you're as sad as you are, or just blames it on you.

[@williamtenkate2789]

Right, it's not like I *want* to feel this lonely and disconnected. I can hang out with people, do activities/hobbies, talk about the ways I feel and why I think I feel those ways. But I'm just not able to feel safe and close and secure from it. It's like blaming a person with a broken leg for not being able to run a marathon.

[@raymondmurdock8603]

I agree I feel like society often blames inability to connect on "toxic masculinity" to insinuate it's a character flaw to be shamed when it's actually a trauma response we've literally been conditioned this way when most connections you've had are painful eventually you stop bothering people don't understand the world can be extra cold to men sometimes we just don't have the same opportunities for connection we're losing the spaces for healthy positive male bonding that used to exist

[@williamtenkate2789]

@@raymondmurdock8603 yeeesss exactly. I'm so tired of living this way, but I don't know what to do about it.

[@ud0ntevenkn0wme]

It's not just rejection. It's the excessive judgment men receive if they don't put in effort trying to make friends or maintain a social circle. It's seen as "creepy" or whatever. I had just got married and my wife's coworker found out I didn't have any friends. I had just moved to a new State but still didn't have much interest in making friends. Most people are selfish and fake. My wife didn't have a problem with it, until her friends took her aside and told her I was probably a serial killer or something, or I would just use her because I was desperate, which doesn't even make sense. It's you normies over the top reactions to loners that makes loners miserable more than anything else.

[@jameseustice7144]

It really is just a bunch of bullshit though

[@TheJackal917]

You called? Here I am, 37yo lonely male way past void staring stage, counting days to the end. Can't help but feel that you touched on a very important topic, everybody avoid talling about in fear that theybwill have to face their fears, especially the fear of responsibility and fear of intimacy. However I feel that it wasn't profound enough, somewhat too superficial. Dark territory that thing loneliness of a man.

[@Hugo_Tate]

always a good time when more silent hill videos come out. especially by mert

[@MertKayKay]

Thank you Hugo!

[@bogo_]

I don't really understand the entire last section of the video, why are you throwing shade on James for not connecting with Angela, as if he is missing some big opportunity? He spends the entire game looking for his (dead) wife, so why would he want to "form connections" in Silent Hill of all places when he percieves it as being a hostile place full of monsters - with a woman that he can see is clearly unstable that waves a knife around while talking about how she wants to end it all? What "saving" could there have been in the first place? She ran away after killing her father and brother, so even if she continues to live on all that remains for her is a prison sentence when she would inevitabely get caught after making it out. The worst part of the video: You completely neglect the parallels between Eddie and Angela as both being people who lose it after encountering severe adversity and trauma throughout their lives without being at fault for what happens to them and resort to killing / injuring those that have wronged them. Instead of drawing this parallel you call out Eddie for not healing from his trauma (because he is a man) WHILE AT THE SAME TIME SAYING ANGELA IS YOUR FAVORITE CHARACTER despite her also not healing from her trauma, where you instead, as mentioned in my first paragraph, throw shade on James for not saving her instead, for whatever reason. I usually really like essays like these even when I don't neccessarily agree with the interpretations and what is shown or when the subject matter goes way over my head, but this one felt very one sided and nitpicky - and that's without even going into your crude misrepresentation and oversimplification of male loneliness, which can very obviously not be highlighted very well when talking about it on a surface level and not considering the millions of different factors that influence it.

[@markjacobs3232]

Gonna have to be honest, the "toxic masculinity because of being uncomfortable with the weird gay monster sex" part at 36:22 is a large stretch. Two people having sex near you is already uncomfortable, even more so if neither your attracted to, even more so when they're both weird monster things, and then ANOTHER layer when the sex involves one killing the other by it. Gonna be real, if that concept doesn't disturb you watching it, let alone living it, maybe you've had too much internet. TLDR: It was horror because it was there to disturb.

[@後で-d4o]

I'll add that he wasn't even that uncomfortable, he was taken by surprice and wanted to get out because anything inhuman up to this moment wanted to kill him but sinse the door won't open he chose to fight. Also lying figures are made to represent both a female in a latex suit and a woman corsé in a bag, so no sexuality confusión here

[@guillelopez4222]

I like your take that the town reflects James' loneliness, but to blame him for failing to cultivate deeper relationships with the few characters that he meets... I MEAN, Angela basically throws him off and Eddie is too busy shooting people around.

[@noahgaming8833]

And Laura is too busy stepping on his hands, saying he never love Mary, and assaulting him when he confessed that he killed his wife.

[@MrThezyga]

@@noahgaming8833 yeah but the author of the video still excepts James to ignore all of that and take their problems on himself because he's a man lol.

[@Rubi0o0]

The whole point of Angela's story and her 'throwing James off' is that James makes 0 effort to genuinely connect with Angela in a way that makes her feel heard throughout the game. When he finally makes an attempt, it's half-assed and clearly only with the interest of 'saving' Angela from a faith he has zero connection to or right to interfere with. James does not actually care which is glaringly obvious, and at that point is just another man in Angela's life trying to take control of her autonomy. The creator of this video didn't 'blame' James for failing to cultivate deeper relationships with the people surrounding him, but clearly shows how his EXISTING failure to cultivate deeper relationships is an integral part that tells the whole story of James' character. His flaws come not just from his actions towards Mary, but his actions towards others and the way in which he himself has forged a path towards loneliness.

[@guillelopez4222]

@@Rubi0o0 I like your comment. He failed to save Angela the same way he failed to save Mary. But the point is: even vaguely, he tries. Angela is beyond the point where she can be saved. But he tries.

[@Rubi0o0]

@@guillelopez4222 I'm genuinely interested in what part of the story or James' character makes it seem like he tries to you. To me, it feels like James' sense of 'caring' and 'trying' once it's already too late are extremely superficial. He doesn't actually care about Angela, about the burdens she has faced, about understanding her in any proper way, he just cares that she wants to commit suicide. It's a selfish sense of caring, because James doesn't actually know anything about Angela and does not have a genuine understanding of all that she has experienced that has driven her to suicide. All that he does to help her is defeat the abstract daddy, and I think that that is a great example of a point that was brought up in the first part of this video as well. Men- generally speaking- feel more comfortable helping in direct ways to solve an issue, rather than attempting to carry even a sliver of the emotionally taxing parts of an issue. He defeats the abstract daddy because it is a roadblock to him as well, but can offer Angela absolutely nothing else. Considering that James was called to Silent Hill to punish himself, I'd say he knows that much like with Mary, he didn't actually try to help Angela or anyone else in ways that mattered. He's emotionally stunted to put it simply, and while that isn't something he has created all by himself he IS the only person that could've made any attempt to try and heal from that problem.

[@coughedfeathers1292]

That final statement goes so hard and whats part of why i donate to the patreon. "A man who had one place left to be: in water."

[@ud0ntevenkn0wme]

I would donate if she didn't shove so many man-hating feminist talking points down my throat.

[@karlhans6678]

As a man the world looks like Silent Hill to me.

[@TheToodinho]

It was an interesting video I get your overall point but it seemed that in the end everything is just James fault, that he and men in the context of this video are entirely responsible for their lonliness and if they just "did better" they wouldnt be in their respective situations, which is very reductive. To me SH2 was a great way of examining how complex and contradicting People are, James both loved and hated Mary in the end he kills her by a mix of pity and selfishness. Is James a selfish piece of shit only concerned with himself or is he a dedicated husband completely broken by tragedy? He is both at the same time. What these essays that only focus on James faults, and there are many, miss is that complexity, one point you didnt cover was Mary's Letter to James the Real one where we have her talk how she really feels about him and their Life, it hardly paints the picture of The pure selfish man people want To paint James as, James also starts The game grieve stricken and detatched from People but that is hardly surprising given what he has been through, so blaming him for not been able To forge connections in that state is misplaced at best, The town does shock him out of that state eventually but by then is too late for most people, that is the tragedy of most suicides, by the time people notice is too late but you wouldnt blame friends and family of suicide victims like you blame James a complete stranger in this case. This video and others that tackle SH2 and male lonliness seem to be happy in assigning blame on one person/group and in doing so youre missing the complexity in both SH2 and men writ large.

[@KittyScythe]

My grandfather left my grandmother when she was diagnosed with cancer. Then he moved back in to the house after she died. He was a real pos.

[@FarnesyFudge2]

So much of the commentary this video offers can be summed up as "Men's suffering at an all time high; Women most affected."

[@Jurgan6]

I think it was 2009 when my wife and I played SH2 together. She had already been sick for a while, and is still dealing with various chronic illnesses. We only had the vaguest idea what the game was about, neither of us knew just how relevant it was going to be. I’m not going to say “this game is directly responsible for my being a better husband,” and yet it’s likely it had an influence. Also, I got the “Leave” ending on the first play through. I’d like to think James’s odyssey led to him coming out the other side a better person. It seems likely that Mary’s murder would not be investigated- everyone knew she was going to die soon anyway, so when she passed they probably assumed the disease did it and didn’t investigate any further.

[@KnightTime15]

I literally NEVER comment on videos, but from all these hundreds of silent Hill 2 essays, I'm happy there is finally one that has such a unique perspective and talks about things I would never even consider. Amazing video.

[@MertKayKay]

Thank you Knight Time, I am honestly flattered. I appreciate it very much

[@daffupanda2294]

"for those of you joining today because you like the sound of my voice in the background while you grind tomes for your ff14 relic..." goodness, I have never felt more called out in my entire life XD In my defense, I also just like your video essays and how you explain things! I'm paying attention, I promise!

[@MertKayKay]

Go get those tomes!!

[@cazmeru]

Adding to the argument that Laura is a manifestation of James' psyche, she and Maria are the only characters that don't have last names. The SH franchise enjoys giving last names to characters so they feel like real legitimate people, including SH2. Eddie Dombrowski, James Sunderland, Mary Sunderland, Angela Orosco. Yet, in the entire franchise, the two characters that have no last names are Maria and Laura. We already know that Maria is canonically a simulacrum made by James. Now, Laura...

[@almirantevergin7565]

As far as I know, Laura is just a girl who ended up in this mess, she has nothing to do with James besides her friendship with Mary

[@evdokiasovetova5956]

I get your point but I think it’s more likely because she’s a child therefore she’s given a simpler name

[@berserk4souls]

Laura is an orphan I assumed. Mary did want to adopt her if things ever got better.

[@AsterisSleeping]

@@berserk4souls Laura is confirmed to be an orphan. In her letter from Mary, for her 8th birthday, Mary tells Laura "not to give the sisters (nuns) a hard time." Mary also expresses her interest in adopting Laura and in "Leave" (I believe), James is seen leaving with Laura and it can be assumed that he ends up taking her in.

[@SlippyJ15]

I'm pretty sure on an interview they confirmed that Laura is a real person

[@bapfreak]

I remember completing a game (not Silent Hill) and realizing that I had more friends in the game than real life. I'm painfully aware that it's mostly my fault. Being aware of that doesn't help. I relate to James for many reasons. Staring in a mirror and thinking "what have I become" is something I've done.

[@tadoidoinfeliz4183]

No, Angela, Laura and Eddie are real people, not reflection of James thoughts, Ito said so.

[@marcymarblez]

I'm watching your video and I just reached the 21:33 minute mark- the idea that Laura isn't real is false. You see, when you get the Maria ending, the moment James and Maria prepare to leave Silent Hill, Maria develops a cough the same way Mary did, implying that she will die again soon and James has learned nothing. When interacting with Laura at the end of the Leave ending, she is completely okay, running ahead of James. Not to mention, the letter from Rachel is still intact and completely okay, even after Mary's original letter had vanished, which vanishes after Eddie's bossfight, not the final Pyramid Head bossfight iirc. Also, Laura was intended to show up in Silent Hill: Downpour, but was replaced with another character- she is fully, and entirely, real.

[@kratosGOW]

As a man who recently turned 30, while not strictly speaking alone but very much lonely, I felt this video down to the bone.😢❤ Thank you 🥲

[@MsDarkmagiciangirl2]

Yay new Mert! Thank you! I like listening to your videos while writing essays for college! Lots of love from Ireland!

[@MertKayKay]

Lots of love TO Ireland! Thanks so much. Also good luck with your essays!!

[@Kageryushin]

50:27 Ain't that the truth. This video really goes to show it.

[@mikeleddyphoto]

I find it so cool that you've linked these two things together. The epidemic is already an interesting topic to listen to you discuss but looking at it through the lens of Silent Hill makes it even better. Love your channel!

[@MertKayKay]

Thank you Mike! I wanted to make a video about SH2 for ages, glad you enjoyed it

[@tropezando]

With multiple disabled and chronically ill people in my family, being chronically ill myself, being young like Laura when I was thrown into a parentified/caregiver situation, being fat like Eddie and having experienced the same abuse as Angela, SH2 has always been the one that imprinted on my brain. The others resonate as well in other ways, well 2 hits too close. I am not male. I think everyone, every gender, is lonely. Our world is not built to facilitate human connection, and definitely not to help people understand anyone with mental illness, neurodiversity, disability, or trauma.

[@abeish03]

it's a strange thing to experience from the inside. being a lonely man. I remember being mocked for a lot of the emotions I felt as a boy, by both men and women. there was never this explicit statement, "you have to behave like this or people will think you're that", but rather that it was something reactionary. you hide away your soft parts for fear of being hurt. it's like the world has license to trample your feelings with impunity, so you just learn to put them away where they won't bother anyone. and women almost feel like a reprieve from that isolation. they're soft, gentle, caring. you feel like that could be the one place to be open as yourself. but then you realise that women aren't angels sent to minister to you, they're just people, and you have to care about them as well. and that's where there's this wall. you either believe that only one person cares about you and put all your eggs in that basket, or you mature and cautiously open up to others.

[@Stalene100]

Maybe Mary did want to die, but maybe she didn't want James to be the one to do it. I wouldn't want my partner to have to live with the knowledge of killing me I wouldn't want my partner to be the one to kill me in general Like if I was at that stage, I'd want like. A Doctor to do it with an injection or something, and even then IDEK if I'd want that personally, but I could see Mary feeling that way. It's less gruesome, in some ways. Just a final sleep. Rather than being smothered with a damn pillow

[@Queess1]

You just took a 2000 classic and applied a discount-esque contemporary psychology filter. Angela, Eddie and James are both victims and culrpits, they're normal people who faced bullism, sexual abuse and loss traumas, they're not blank 2d pages with instructions on how to act in these situations. The only one who really tries to help the others is indeed James, because is struggling to remember his own trauma because of the weight of guilt he bears. He take Angela's knife, and tries to stop her from going in the flames, saves her from her abomination and even toward Eddie isn't judgmental at all. He's complex because he's not the standard prince who does everything right. The protagonists are Mary AND James, their relationship, their love and how such an enormous thing as death can deteriorate things. They love each other but their life is unbearable, physically and emotionally. James passed three years at her side suffering more and more, drinking and visiting her less. She suffers for her condition and for what she's become, she mirrors that pain on James. Intrusive thought or not, for stopping her suffering or for stopping his own suffering, James do the hardest thing of all: kill her. Pity or selfishness are both in the equation, you cannot say he's bad or he's good, he's just both. And Silent Hill drags everyone that seeks punishment and is deeply traumatized, even if you could say Laura acted on self defence or Eddie just (?) killed a dog, they both stops there because they seek punishment.

[@oriigami]

Was just talking to my friend about how good your SOMA video is, big fans from Brazil

[@MertKayKay]

Thank you Origami! I'm visiting a friend in Brazil next month, I will wave as I fly by

[@oriigami]

@@MertKayKay Really hope you enjoy! will definitely wave back :D

[@emilycurrent7489]

I've always seen Eddie, Angela, and James in the same boat: victims who became monsters. James wad abused by Mary; emotional abuse is real, and she was doling it out like it was going out of style. She was sick, but she chose to spend her final days hurting him as much as she could then begging for comfort (like abusers do). I don't think she was necessarily an evil woman, but I've never viewed her in a very positive light. I also am pretty sure she got sick 3 years ago (thus making her final trip home in line with the doctor's prediction and making plenty of time for her to bond with Laura, a child she doesn't abuse because she saw her feelings as more important). James was abused and abused by someone he loved until one day, he snapped, and he wasn't sure if it was to spare himself or her. Angela, meanwhile, is obvious in her victimhood...but she was 19. Working. She could have run...she chose murder. And she attacked her brother who, using the game alone, was never confirmed to have abused her (and it feels retconny that the novels claim he did). He was a bystander, and if he wasn't, what kind of grooming had he gone through to feel that was okay too? Angela killed him and her father rather than simply doing what she did right after: leaving. She became a monster like James, but unlike him, there was no hint of mercy in her slaughter. The most redeemable to me is Eddie; while he was obviously a victim too, his crime was much, much less horrific. He killed a dog, an animal, and shot a peer in the leg. Not good, of course, but something that doesn't mean a person's life is snuffed out. He's also the most stable of the 3 in the beginning, famously eating pizza and speaking in a more upbeat, alive voice than the other two. But the town and the shame of his dysmorphia drove him mad, to the point he was killed while trying to kill. The only innocent is Laura, though even she shows some random cruelty to James (after listening to Mary's biased accounts of who he was, but who could blame her?) James didn't earn Angela's ending, but Angela didn't earn James's help. She was, imo, the least likely to leave the town because unlike James, she shows no remorse for her crime. Don't get me wrong, what happened was evil and horrible and I wouldn't be sorry either. But she premeditated murder. She mocks someone who's trying, awkwardly and taking into account her sexism and assumption that "all men are pigs," to help her before she chooses to walk into the flames. She chooses her own fate. All three did.

[@heunam3593]

Got hit really hard with that statement about men not knowing how to handle the middle ground between "You are essentially my soul brother" and "Hello, may i ask you what time it is?". I've always been the type to have a small circle of close friends, and that suited me fine, but now i feel like i disagree with them more and more on core beliefs as we get into our mid 20s. Mainly, they lack empathy fairly often, not for me but in general. This has led to me lowering my closeness bit by bit, until i feel like i dont know how much i should open up to them anymore. They now reside on a lower tier than Soul Brother that genuinely stunts me, as i cant seem to hold that closeness switch without seeming erratic, distant and evasive. And in a classic show of manhood i cant bring myself to talk about it with them, and god forbid going to therapy. The male brain is royally fucked.

[@zedhead90]

*social conditioning for males is royally fucked. Truthfully, society fucks men AND women up. Arguably, women have it worse. However, women have a few saving graces that men don’t. They’re freer to talk about it. Their problems aren’t broadly dismissed society, save for small far right pockets of the internet that I’d really rather not associate with. And the double standards. People apparently don’t think looks matter for men and that is simply untrue. It hurts to be called ugly. You definitely get treated differently if you are. People doubt your intelligence, your competency, your overall value. None of this is exclusive to men, but it is treated as a gendered issue for women. There’s a real dissonance in seeing the media push body positivity for women, but write scathing op-eds about men, or seeing leftist/liberals champion the same ideals then go on about small dick energy or bash people they don’t like about their weight or their looks.

[@vainpiers]

it sounds like you need to broaden your social circle and find people more similar to you. Maybe pick up a hobby and join a club. We picked up our "token man" friend because we go to the same arcade and he plays the same game my close friend does, now we talk everyday. Theres so many people out there willing to make friends. I crochet and when people see me crocheting at work they'll talk to me about it and their projects, it breaks the ice. I went to a comic con on my own one year and so many people just started conversations with me because I was sketching, or saw I liked the same thing as them. My biggest advice is also, learn to like spending time with yourself. Take yourself on dates, go to the cinema, art gallery, arcade, whatever you like. If you like yourself and can do interesting things by yourself you have a lot more to bring to conversations which can break the ice. When someone askes "how was your weekend" you can respond with "I went to go watch ... at the cinema" and it can open the conversation up to "oh I want to see that what did you think?" or "I saw that and thought it was..." this is a bit personal but I used to be really clingy and scrambling for attention, feeling so lonely, I genuinely wanted to die. Then my friend beat me to it, and all I could think about was how much I wanted to know him more. I thought I had so much time to work on that friendship, but he was gone before I could ever get to know him better. I'm sad that he never knew how cool I thought he was. It also made me think that I didn't want other people to hurt this way and that if he never knew how much I enjoyed his company there are probably people out there who feel the same way about me. People also reached out because they could see the pain I was in, my friend hates my movies but still sat and watched the same film with me over and over again because it's the only thing that distracted me. Basically, people probably want to be friends with you more than you think they do and you should be best friends with yourself.

[@heunam3593]

@@vainpiers thanks for the advice, and I'm sorry about your friend, there's a special kind of pain from someone leaving when you feel that so much was left unsaid. Still, you seem to have grown from it. I wish I could process things a bit more like you. On a lighter note, I'm kind of starting to treat myself as of late, I picked up reading again with Dostoevsky and Murakami. Went down my bucket list for movies and finally started watching The X Files, I'm absolutely loving it. What I struggle a lot with is picking up hobbies or joining clubs, I get really anxious about entering a space where people already know each other and I'm the stranger, a bit because I've had experiences of people trying to insert themselves into our group uninvited before. I fear I'll be invading people's space, even though it's pretty irrational.

[@vainpiers]

@@heunam3593 I think it's great you've picked up reading again. Maybe you could join a class or workshop for a skill you're interested in and then most people will be starting without previously knowing each other. Also if you're doing an activity together then you don't have to be actively talking to people and can work on your activity in proximity to others which may open up opportunities for discussion. Once people start seeing you consistently in a place they will be more open to including you. I work in a small industry and whenever I see people from previous jobs, even if I've never spoken to them they'll usually say hi and small talk because they recognise me. I have social anxiety and I've done a lot of therapy and unfortunately the best cure is to expose yourself to anxiety inducing experiences. Sometimes you will leave early, or you won't talk to anyone and just wear headphones, sometimes I don't even make it out the house. But I'm so proud of myself for the progress I've made in the last 2 years.

[@ud0ntevenkn0wme]

It's not just rejection. It's the excessive judgment men receive if they don't put in effort trying to make friends or maintain a social circle. It's seen as "creepy" or whatever. I had just got married and my wife's coworker found out I didn't have any friends. I had just moved to a new State but still didn't have much interest in making friends. Most people are selfish and fake. My wife didn't have a problem with it, until her friends took her aside and told her I was probably a serial killer or something, or I would just use her because I was desperate, which doesn't even make sense. It's normies who are constantly desperate to fit in and their over the top reactions to loners that makes loners miserable more than anything else.

[@nerostark4320]

In one of the endings, it's said that Mary was ill since 3 years ago, which implies that James looked for her, most of that time.

[@tri3s4life]

FYI, I just saw that the "men leave sick spouses more than women" paper was retracted due to very fudged numbers.

[@MertKayKay]

aw bollocks

[@tri3s4life]

@@MertKayKay Still an AMAZING video. Watching your analysis of IT right now, it's also great so far.

[@vainpiers]

When my neighbours wife got cancer my parents ended up doing a lot of her caregiving. Shes been dead for 3 years now and he hasnt gotten the temporary grave marker replaced with a headstone. He could afford to. He immediately looked for a new wife.

[@AnxiousGary]

Wow that's brutal! What a James!!

[@rickydo6572]

I don't wanna get political here, but this reminds me of Donald Trump's late wife and how her grave is/was basically abandoned. (I suppose they began caring for it after people brought attention to it)

[@xVmbra]

Considering the rather consistent lens/bias of this channel and reading the title of the video, the video went exactly as I expected lol.

[@SaberRexZealot]

James Sunderland is a phenomenal character because he’s so frustratingly, honestly, flawed. Similar to people you care about in real life who just can’t get past themselves for reasons you can’t understand. He’s a very rare and unconventional video game protagonist that just gets more relevant with time. There’s a little James in all of us.

[@nanamama152]

My random thoughts on what Mert is saying: >"but on subsequent playthroughs I treated James as an electric fence" - well, yeah. A person/character can be both sympathetic and despicable in their actions. That's, like, the point >"I wonder what served as an inspiration for James/Mary sickness dynamic" - just knowing literally anyone who ever had to take care of a terminally sick/senile loved one would've done it. Imagination and empathy would've done the rest. And I assume the writers did have some experience on that front, considering that Japan in particular has a massive aging population problem that is only getting worse. Or a problem with radiation and its related sicknesses which... um... yeah... let's not go into that. - somewhat related to what you're saying: a lot of 'great love' stories have this problem where the lovers have nothing but each other. At best, they have their families to defy and/or a love triangle problem, but very little friends or other connections. This is particularly notable in paperback romances or shipping fanfiction, but it also creeps into the higher end literature; I feel like James/Mary story (which I do believe is a 'great love' story - it had to have been, considering how involved he was with her treatment; how traumatised he is, how much remorse he feels and how beautiful the letter which she wrote him is) is one of the few instances when the lovers' isolation is sorta justified. Illness like this absolutely obliterates one's social circle To be continued

[@nanamama152]

- ...so I'm not sure that James' story and character can be read as a comment on the male loneliness epidemic because his circumstances are slightly more extraordinary than those of a man who leads a more or less normal life but can't maintain friendships - there's a little known oldish short story by Joe Hensley called 'Lord Randy, My Son' that I feel is a good counterpart to SH2. In that it also offers an uncomfortably honest and unflinching look into the mindset of someone who has to take care of a terminally disabled loved one. In that case, the carer is the father and the disabled person is the son, instead of a husband and a wife, respectively; but the message of "it's a very ugly thing, and there are no easy or right answers" is the same

[@BLUEJAYMusic1994]

Incredible write up. Made my experience replaying the OG even more profound this time around. GOD it’s such a great game.

[@followthedmntraincjay]

In kind of "defense" of James I guess and other man I had more than one ex-girlfriend that was so needy that she didn't allow me to have other friends or connections. And even if I managed to develop some kind of connection with someone else she would be jealous, demand even more time, make drama about it, hate the other person and god help if the other person was a female. She wanted to be involved into everything I did, every hobby, every free hour, I had to message she constantly, include her in every outing, photo I took, everything. The last one was so overwhelming and we were living together that I just had to call quits on the relationship after some time, even seeing my mom became a forbidden thing since she disagreed with my mom and hated her. So yeah, my point is that beside the loneliness I feel we men have to deal with which is more about societal pressure of work and how all our jobs actually mean nothing and we are just making money for shady people we don't even know, sometimes our own partners, in my case quasi-wife, may entitle themselves to be our rulers and only social outlet even if at first we don't want that. We concede to not live a life of fighting constantly. I wanted to go out, to bond with other people, to have hobbies, to do things, to talk and know other lives. But I had to work, I had to pay bills and I also had to constant report back to my gf on who was I talking to, going to, deleting who she didn't approve, go to her gatherings, include her in everything, it was truly exhausting to the point that after some time I just stopped caring, I stopped trying to form connections that she would be angry about and make me break, stopped having new hobbies that she would demand to be included and then drop them or force me to quit since she didn't like it... I just stopped trying so I wouldn't have to fight every day at home about some senseless thing. I know this doesn't apply to every relationship, to every man or woman. But just wanted to expose another view, and that is more how I see James nowadays. He is just a man that wanted to have a cool normal life of adventure but got into so much shit that he got lost in silent hill. EDIT: Also, wanted to make clear that I do not mean you are wrong. Just wanted to show another view for discussion. Thanks for the video, it was really a good watch!

[@100organicfreshmemes5]

It sounds like you had an extremely controlling and abusive exes, hope you're doing better for yourself now.

[@xyoyo7502]

I've seen a lot of takes from people who have tried to nail down James as a one note, scorn filled, misogynistic husband who only wished to be rid of Mary, and it feels like most of these people have never played the game for themselves. I like James Sunderland, the character, not because he's a murderer but because he's an extremely complex one. There are no excuses for what he did, only explanations, and as James punishes himself for what he did we get to see different parts of him, both in cutscenes, gameplay, and eventually the endings. In each of these endings, we get to see different versions of James, all who walk away from Silent Hill with separate decisions as to what they should do next which is amazing, as for each playthrough you can mold a James who seeks redemption, self destruction, and delusion. In most endings, James deeply wishes to be with Mary, either realizing he can't or going to extreme measures to be with her again. I think It should also be said that the statistic you showed for most men leaving their wives after they contract an illness can't really be said for James, as he stayed with her for three years. The three years he spent caring for her in the hospital, searching for solutions in several medical studies to no avail, consulting with doctors who only told him her death was inevitable, and the verbal abuse shown by Mary at the end of the hotel hallway near the end of the game are only among the handful of reasons leading to James decision, and I haven't even said all of them either. I should say that this does not excuse James for what he's done, and I think for James (besides the one in Maria's route) he wouldn't want us to either. James is a glutton for punishment, he is tormented by his actions and the personifications his mind created in silent hill that are sent to torment him are extensions of that. There is no bigger hater for James rather than James himself, and he either chooses further damnation in the In Water ending or salvation in the Leave ending.

[@GrimRX]

Add in that men are usually extremely task oriented creatures; you get a man who's task was to save his wife. Thus, James feels that he has failed in the one (out of two) task that is essential for a man: Save your wife (the other is Save your kids). You can approach that particular failing with logic and facts all you want, but that kind of failing... well... Lets just say that the Water ending is almost always the most likely one.

[@niono1587]

@@GrimRX This ain't a nature documentary Attenborough

[@prouddegenerates9056]

James is a loser, but demanding he be an emotional rock for a strange women’s deepest trauma is unfair. He’s a wreck and you want him taking trauma dumps while emotionally in the fetal position?

[@johnroyal4054]

Right? Guy got bitched out by his sick wife for 3 years. He even says his wife died 3 years ago because the sick version is nothing like her.

[@Jerome_M_0]

Man I love it when a video essay made about a game i have never played adds a random throwaway section that perfectly speaks to my experience as a person. Truly one of my favorite things on the Internet

[@O_Alentejano]

if a little girl stepped on my hand, and locked in a room under the pretense of having something i wanted (ik she doesn't experience the monsters, but it's still bad), i wouldn't wanna relate to her either. james clearly cares about her safety, she's the one who runs away. what do you want him to do?

[@shadquirk607]

Just quickly, the line in SH3 isn't throwaway, not only have various Devs and people involved never confirmed that Mary is in the car, that line confirms she isn't. It's not 'a crazy guy killed his wife, drove her dead body to SH, and disappeared.", instead the line is simply 'a guy disappeared'. He made no impact to SH, his wife had been sick for years and died, then her husband disappeared, no mystery there.

[@Gabrilos505]

I'm not gonna lie, I'm really fucking lonely and have been for at least a decade. This is preoccupying me to a considerable extent, especially because I don't know what to do about it, since I seem to have 0 way out.

[@nimazsheik5152]

I feel ya man, all I can say is to join and do some hobbies. It at least gives me a small relief - I do martial arts and ballroom dancing. Don't stay at home and consume media (gaming/TV/youtube) as it will spiral you even further downwards. Here's to hoping you well bro!

[@KhaPiano]

Just finished playing the Silent Hill 2 remake. While playing I’d been dying to explore all the video essay content on the game once I finished the game. Glad I found this video and it was a great listen looking. Great analysis and thoughts.

[@126theman]

I think you’re missing why some guys like Silent Hill 2, James Sunderland is probably more of a “literally me” character then the cautionary tale you see him as (just like all “literally me” characters).

[@BCJ1985]

7:44 - No, the letter actually goes blank after he kills Eddie. The envelope goes empty after the videotape. Finally the envelope vanishes from the inventory once Maria is skewered again right in front of him.

[@pedroandre7750]

hearing she talk about lonelyness as the incapacity to bond to other people just makes me feel like sht for feeling alone and abandoned, and everytime i feel like this it doubles down because in my head theres this voice saying "huh you feel bad what a crybaby"

[@magmatard8737]

6:00 I know its a joke but her corpse is actually in the trunk. And there is nothing stating to my knowledge that she died that same day, it just wasn''t 3 years ago and relatively recent

[@zedhead90]

This was an interesting video, though I haven’t played Silent Hill 2, or indeed any Silent Hill games in existence. Given how thematically layered they apparently are, I might have to. I really like arthouse horror. However, I am profoundly lonely. I do think this video misses one key component, and that’s how society, both men and women alike, react to male vulnerability. They are not kind to it. I have one person whose friendship I lost over it, and I have another friend who I’ve learned not to depend on because she gets patently uncomfortable and just shuts down. I only have one close friend who I don’t really feel judged for when I open up about things. This is all despite doing my part to offer both comfort and council or just listening to them vent as needed. Yes, men should seek help for themselves. Men should confront their issues rather than quietly put up with them. Men should take up offers for friendship as they are presented. But we are the way that we are for a reason. Despite this being relatable enough to so many men that it can be described as an epidemic, they’re still disgusted when presented with another man’s vulnerability. The world truly just doesn’t care, and it’s really hard to be a single drop in an enormous mostly apathetic and occasionally hostile ocean.

[@lukabougainvillea]

The last scene with Angela is in that case very interesting as that flames etc cannot only be interpreted as her hell on earth but I one time read about female sexual assault victims and many of them described it like this like an intense never ending feeling of burning and flames in their bodies/around them that consumes everything and many more symbols apart from the "obvious it's her hell on earth" etc I found that very interesting

[@artemiis]

I never really write comments but the ending where you talked about seeing James' face in men in your life really struck deep. I'm a girl with a few male friends and damn it sucks trying to support or help someone open up when they don't want help nor allow you to come too close to them, I don't even know what to do at this point

[@PR0MAN01]

Let them thug it out. Getting help from others feels bad and we don't like it

[@beepot2764]

​@@PR0MAN01lol the consequence of that deep self reliance is becoming isolated and lonely. The cycle continues.

[@chriswyer7144]

Be there, it's all anyone can do.

[@ithinkiwoulddie9196]

@@PR0MAN01do you feel targeted? is that why your comments are so defensive and aggressive?

[@AlexisHiemis]

I think you can only do so much. You are trying to help and that's very important and I think you are doing as much as you can. But people are also responsible for themselves, they have to accept help and work on themselves. It sucks being powerless and unable to show them a way forward. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to disengage if you feel it's getting to much for you.

[@Noelite_leclere]

good video! nevertheless I don't agree with you, i have a lot of empathy for james and especially with his relation with angela throughout the game. I feel it's truly difficult to grasp the true emotions felt by the characters since the voice acting is always kinda off, but the scene with the mirror is chilling to me. The reaction James has when he realizes Angela is probably having suicidal ideations is a truly great reaction. He doesn't know her, he's in a nightmare-fueled town but yet he takes the time to try to help her, and his words deeply resonated with me. I feel like James is deeply human after all, and he tries to help people, but in the end, he's definitly not good at it, or he doesn't have the force to do so, and ultimately he either fails to help those around him (Eddy, Angela) or he digs their own graves (Mary, Maria, himself). In my opinion, SH2 is a tale of self-destructiveness and surviving trauma, and what it displays is the different paths these could lead to. And because you're a victim of trauma or abuse doesn't mean you'll not be brought to cause yourself pain and trauma to others. The abstract daddy is particularly important for me because since Angela couldn't defeat herself her own trauma, she's not able to heal. In that sense, even if you (James) killed the abstract daddy, Angela is not saved from her past trauma, but now she's lonelier than before. He did what he thought was the best to do but ultimately that didn't do anything or even made things worse. I feel like the message for his character, or at least for his relationships with mary, angela and eddy, is that you can't help someone if you don't try to at first understand how they feel but somtimes, people don't want to be helped and it's hard to do anything about, and as someone who's been struggling with mental health and suicidal ideations issues that's something i deeply relate to, even if james is of course not a 100% likeable character

[@Hammers_Peace]

Idk why people have to personally or biologically resemble a character to relate to them, it makes literally no sense considering the writing is often ran by a team of people