Midnight Screenings - Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

Subscribe: / stonedgremlinproductions
Website: www.thecinemasnob.com
Brian Twitter: @torsoboy323
Brad Twitter: @thecinemasnob
Movie Review - Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

[@SaiScribbles]

The problem with Jack Sparrow is in the first movie he was the whacky foil to the straight main heroes, that's how a character like that works. He isn't supposed to be the main character.

[@alextromagnetic]

"Shit for brains might have been in it" Legit spat my drink out at that

[@somethingsuperbland8829]

Same

[@tomurashigaraklilbeanboi]

@@somethingsuperbland8829 yeah also was it Jake?

[@somethingsuperbland8829]

@@tomurashigaraklilbeanboi yes

[@tomurashigaraklilbeanboi]

@@somethingsuperbland8829 oh that makes since XD

[@GleeChan]

I love how your viewing experience was far more interesting than the actual movie

[@FlameOfUdun96]

Johnny Depp on a Boat 5: Fuck you, give us money

[@captainmarvelous7678]

Vegeta solo I noticed that too

[@FlameOfUdun96]

+Vegeta solo I made the joke on another video, so what? Lol

[@FlameOfUdun96]

+Trunks 未来のトランクス I did though, on Double Toasted's review...

[@petewadesays12]

fuck you it's YEAR!

[@Charok1]

Fuck you, I'm on a boat!

[@CinephileStudios]

And, here me out, I think this franchise could use a Logan-styled sequel that'll end the franchise. Have Jack Sparrow doing all he can to find yet "another" magical source to cure a sickness (in line with his constant need to attain eternal life) and on the way, he runs into people who want him to aide them in freeing a ship of slaves (which is something he did prior to the films, can be found in the novelizations and deleted scenes.) Then have him die in the process. Make it a simple story again, where he accepts death at long last. Disney would NEVER do it. I can dream though.

[@nannaleifa]

I think Brian's dental crisis is more interesting than this movie. I actually want to know what happens next.

[@DigiDestined13]

Hey, no need to worry about the bullshitting at the beginning. These are the kinds of stories you remember for YEARS.

[@stuartdunlop8834]

I can't follow this video. It's not in 3D.

[@culwin]

My internet connection went out about 30 minutes into the review. I had to start over from the beginning.

[@Greendalewitch]

Stuart Dunlop Here you go *Hands you 3D glasses.*

[@johnboko7110]

Yeah it's in 4DX

[@randalgraves6979]

D box is Fu

[@Crinbo]

Hmm... is it irony that Brian forgot that the last Midnight Screenings he did was Phoenix Forgotten?

[@KEVMAN7987]

CarnbytheGreat No. He fully expected that to happen.

[@baz5042]

Can we just get a Pirates of the Pancreas movie? Where the pirates go full pirate.

[@29AndreG]

It'll have to be claymation.

[@FlameOfUdun96]

And can it take place inside a dying hobo's body?

[@Charok1]

Only if Michael Bolton makes a song about it.

[@billcasey3492]

Don't. It will be a monument to compromise...

[@TheRealNormanBates]

Just.. don't dress him in a Santa outfit. I remember the _last_ time that happened. Thank God I wasn't in Colorado.

[@DuncanUdaho67]

It's about goddamn time. AND Brian's back?? Fuck yes.

[@davidreeder43]

Well, I think we all know who "Shit-for-Brains" is.

[@davidreeder43]

We do not speak his name.

[@BoredandDumb]

Why? Did I miss out on something juicy, tell me.

[@davidreeder43]

Put simply, Jake was a massive asshole who could only think with his dick.

[@billybarnett9518]

Jake?

[@yvette4948]

XD he who must not be named. But it is a good dick joke.

[@wespapes2054]

I don't mind the bullshit talk. It's entertaining.

[@wespapes2054]

No, not every movie. It's also just their taste. And the bullshit I meant is at the beginning of the review.

[@FlameOfUdun96]

+Trunks 未来のトランクス wtf are you talking about? They like a lot of movies

[@triflingmatter]

Bullshit talk is what makes Midnight Screenings special.

[@rktaker]

Trunks 未来のトランクス yes how dare they not like some movies

[@thisinhumanplace2037]

All about the banter just like Marvel movies

[@h0lly_blue]

of course you take Slaver Brian to see Pirates of The Caribbean

[@Dill_Pickle5760]

CaptainGrumpy makes no sense what you said. Stupid

[@h0lly_blue]

someone hasn't seen their Texas Chainsaw 3D review do you always have the verbose argumental skills of a playground bully or is it just today

[@fuckoff8388]

CaptainGrumpy apply cold water to burned area

[@runtripfall69]

Is he gonna fight Johnny Depp for freeing his cargo?

[@runtripfall69]

Did my drunken ass point out the obvious joke?

[@fuckoff8388]

Fucking Paul McCarthy is in this movie? Fuck, now I HAVE to see it.

[@DragonPrincessAoife]

Fuck Off He's got less than a scene...

[@cartooncritic7045]

I actually thought that scene was so bizarre, so removed from the rest of the film, that it's almost worth a ticket price to see it. Almost.

[@NidorinoAlliance]

It is a fun short scene. He jokes about getting your balls cut off.

[@youngadult6824]

I love it when Kermit and Fozzie review movies. Now if they could just move to and fro and sing Movin' Right Along.

[@FrenchPaul1988]

Somehow, I love when Brad reviews a movie with Brian. These videos always run for so long and have so much often hilarious off topic talk.

[@Tadicuslegion78]

What I liked about Pirates 5: Salazar, zombie sharks, the new girl, Barbossa, and the third act. And that it was thankfully only 2 hours What I didn't : It took too long to kick off, From after the title to the Gullitone scene took too long that could have been chopped down and tightened up. Jack Sparrow, that wedding scene out of nowhere. But overall I did enjoy this movie, I'd call it a see it at matinee price or do 5 buck Tuesday or whatever kind of promo like that your theater does and go see it then, definitely an improvement over 3 which is too long and 4 which is too boring

[@cameronclophus7998]

Flying Dutchman should've rescued them

[@h0lly_blue]

leedle leedle leedle lee

[@grahamphillips3916]

😊🤩🤩😎😍

[@bladecrawler1684]

I like when you guys share your audience/showtime related experience. It's the best part of your "Byebye Man" and "Sing" reviews.

[@VirtualBoy500]

I can tell you, at the movie theater I work at, we wouldn't even consider rewinding the movie in this scenario.

[@johnsonyessir6638]

don't movie theaters do technical testing in the morning before showings start with a employee in the theater just to see if everything is working?

[@KraigFang]

I went to this today with my GF, it was her that really wanted to see it. There were so many little things I noticed being messed up or times when it was boring. At the end I thought,"Ehhhh, not really good but not really bad".

[@theradioactiveoctopus8142]

I got ya Brad, review starts at 14:10

[@Flipman107]

the young guy in this is the lead from Gods of Egypt. Why does he keep getting work?

[@macaulaygallacher1995]

Well, he was good in 'Oculus' and 'Son of a Gun', I guess.

[@zolibako4816]

Oculus was such a good movie!

[@Cinehotties]

Don't ask me when I saw him I thought he was grant Gustin from flash but nope. The guy your talking about #BrentonThwaites is such a bad actor he needs specials effects to do his acting for him. Last movie I saw him in was God's Of Eygpt and the best part about that movie was gerard butler

[@Avnirvana1]

He’s probably blowing one of the higher ups in Hollywood

[@iolson38536]

Actually, the "replacements" for Pintel and Ragetti were already characters from the previous films. They are the guards Murtogg and Mullroy. Although there are so many minor characters in these films, so I don't blame anyone for forgetting them.

[@megamage911]

LaurenceBranagh omg that's right! Could barely recognize them with beards xD but yeah, they DID turn pirates at the end of 3 xD

[@BurningOutBass]

Can't wait for Pirates: 33 1/3 Keith Richards will still be in it, he's gonna out live us all

[@Burori1]

In the end, it's going to be Keith Richards and a cockroach. "I snorted your father, mate."

[@DDBurnett1]

Keith Richard's great-great-great granny was an elf. He'll die eventually, but he can snort whatever he wants and get wasted everyday and comfortably live for the next 500 years.

[@arellajardin2323]

I have a high tolerance for this series, I haven't hated any of them, yet. Yeah, 3 was too dreary and lost a lot of charm from the previous ones. And 4 was convoluted. But I still like them.

[@rebekahthuline7657]

Same here! I enjoy this series, grew up following along with it. Of course there are some flaws I can see but it doesn't seem enough to ruin anything I have for this series. 4 was my least favorite out all of them I will admit. XD

[@FrenchPaul1988]

I only saw the fourth one and I found it pretty entertaining. No masterpiece by any stretch, but I recall finding it pretty fun. I don't really get the hate it received, but I didn't see the first 3.

[@futuremovieactor]

What did you think of this one?

[@SukiNoKoe]

Same; I'd say 2 and 3 are a bit of a mess but I really like 1, 4, and 5.....and I like PARTS of 2 and 3.

[@Tabascofanatikerin]

I'm sorry but the story about your screening with the technical problems and stuff gave me some laughs. Thank you for that ;)

[@TheNobody-ru5xg]

Anyone else excited for Wonder Woman? More specifically, anyone else excited for the internets reaction to Wonder Woman?

[@dabunnyman9133]

Hey if nothing else it'll be something different. This summer has been all repeats and Wonder Woman does not even look like the other super hero films.

[@Genevieve1023]

Syrup & Pancakes They released some movie clips. Watch them and see how you feel about the line delivery.

[@KeybladeMasterAndy]

da Bunnyman That's mainly because of the setting, as far as I can tell. Maybe there is something more to it than what I've gathered from the trailers, but I'm kind of burned out on the current offering of blockbusters. They need to up there creative game a lot more than they have been doing for the last two-to-four years.

[@dabunnyman9133]

The setting of WWI definitely helps with differentiating the film. Giving it more of the feel of an old fashioned epic film.

[@CorrectFossa]

Excited to see it, but disappointed it looks like we won't be getting to the full decade without a good DC movie

[@Kenny-Blankenship]

I loved hearing about the experience you guys had at the theater. Like, DAMN.

[@SwordOkami]

You know Brad, you should make a separate video series on all the movie theater horror stories you lived through. They're much more entertaining than the movie you just watched!

[@muffinman472]

Lmao when you said Javier Bardem likes to play weird villains with hooks for hands, I confused with him with Antonio Banderas and I thought you were referencing his character in the SpongeBob Movie

[@megamage911]

priscy he didn't say hooks for hands, he meant hook as in a gimmick.

[@muffinman472]

Kefka Palazzo OH ahahaha

[@Headbanger142]

Well, experiences like this is why I prefer 2D over 3D lol

[@ferzum7290]

well between this and king arthur, i watched for 3rd time guardians of the galaxy vol 2

[@jman2856]

Remember when Jack Sparrow was a charming, witty, and clever pirate who did cool and badass things instead of being a stupid drunken buffoon who does nothing? Apparently the filmmakers of this movie totally forgot.

[@cybertek3188]

J Man When the character used to be cool.

[@FrenchPaul1988]

Only saw one trailer, and Sparrow (along with most of the "comedy" shown) comes across as obnoxious and really low brow.

[@JohnDoe-wz3jq]

Since when has Brian been painting his nails? I've never noticed he painted his nails before

[@NathanGatten]

His wife does nails and practices on him.

[@MegaRambit]

Aw thats sweet :) they look nice

[@fuckoff8388]

Nathan Gatten that's pretty gangsta

[@til_thasmokeclearz853]

Fuck Off no it's not

[@KeybladeMasterAndy]

til_thasmokeclearz I doubt that person was being serious. Anyways, it's sweet.

[@ericjohnsen1509]

I sympathize with Brian, really I do, but I find it ironic that he complains about the health of his teeth whilst sipping an extra large soda from the snack bar... just an observation.

[@kieranelliott5607]

I swear I've just watched three random old Midnight screenings in a row, and the Tabernacle from Zardoz has come up in each one (John Wick 2, this and The Shack). Maybe I should watch Zardoz, it seems to leave a strong impression!

[@matthiascieslik5301]

It is always nice to see you to have you in the background on a late sunday (europe ;) )

[@yupitsjessbbyx3]

I didn't really mind the ghost cgi at all. I can see it being distracting but for me I thought it was fine. But that love story needed to just be scrapped. They had no chemistry, Jack Sparrow has basically confirm they're supposed to be an item. God forbid there's no love story in a movie franchise about PIRATES

[@jax3792]

Does anyone know what colour/brand of nailpolish Brian has on? Because it's gorgeous and I want it

[@EdgePatrol]

Whenever they had the whole Jack Sparrow antics thing, it felt like the entire movie stopped just for the sake of the comedic scene that really does nothing for the story. The one in the beginning is putting Jack Sparrow in a place where these other two characters are. Okay. That's a shitty purpose, but a purpose. The rest of the antics didn't really entertain me. They just held up the story.

[@manuelrex117]

I actually really love this movie. Though I admit that I had some problems with this movie especially with Jack Sparrow which I thought was mostly underwhelming in this film (shame because Jack's my favorite character in the franchise). Barbossa on the other hand was in my opinion the best character in this movie and his "death?" scene was deeply emotional for me. As I said I do have issues with Pirates 5 but I still had a great time seeing it and I will be seeing again (maybe another viewing after that but we'll see). I can't wait for you to review Captain Underpants though. Hopefully I can see it too because as a fan of the books this film looks like a lot of fun.

[@marajade5116]

Don't know if it was filmed during Depp's divorce, but it was filmed whilst he was in the Deputy Prime Minister of Australia's personal war over his dogs. Perhaps his public apology to Australia was more interesting than his performance in Pirates.

[@Pinkhair3d]

As someone with no money who just got four wisdom teeth out this week, hang in there!

[@nannaleifa]

Holy shit, that projector screwup was exactly what happened in my Beauty and the Beast screenings. Only around that one terrible Beast song over and over until 30 minutes. Probably why I dislike that movie more I would have.

[@jdzencelowcz]

The screen went black during a space battle at the GotGV2 screening I was at, the audio was still there & good, they took it back to before it went black, it was fine after that. Now PAGD, I saw that twice, as the 1st time, the 3D didn't work.

[@garrettcarter2959]

Every time some piece of media brings up ghost pirates, I always revert back to the Pirate Captain from Venture Bros. shouting, "NO WAY!"

[@whiplashfilms]

44:03 Christine is a goddamned masterpiece and the most underrated flick of last year. Wish it had got around to more theaters.

[@FrenchPaul1988]

23:00 Thanks for confirming the feeling of repetition I got earlier when you mentionned Jack being arrested and put in prison. I felt I had seen it in 4.

[@KeybladeMasterAndy]

Is the IMAX screen a true one that's at least 5 storeys high, or just a larger screen ("LIEMax") like the one in my area?

[@LaPenserosa1]

So...don't watch Pirates but do watch An Open Secret and Christine - got it! Thanks for the recommendations - they both look fascinating.

[@matthiascieslik5301]

sorry with the teeth!...the insurance in the us...

[@Panda_Roll]

Pirates 5, Depp needs money for the divorce!

[@DragonPrincessAoife]

Kidlike101 That'll be 6, this was 5.

[@JRAYDABEAST]

Pirates 9 depp is board

[@TimeofQwerty]

I have a habit of trying to get the soda to the top whenever I refill my soda (though I don't put ice on it), so I can see the thing about filling it up being a bit tiresome.

[@FadeIn2Obscurity]

Brad explaining the ordeal of refilling his drink sounds more exciting than this movie

[@nickmattio3397]

An Entire hour review I knew this one was for the books lol

[@ElKabongg42]

"My teeth are fucked up" He then proceeds to drink sugary soda

[@cg-rf7lo]

Should've given a cameo to Michael Bolton.

[@calebcouch9848]

My theater also had issues with the projector. It took them over half an hour to fix the damn thing.

[@crepsleygirl13]

It's funny a similar thing happened to not just the theater i was in, but the entire building. My mother and i went to see BFG for the first time at a Cinemark. We went through an absurd amount of trailers before we finally saw the beginning of the Disney logo. Then the whole theater went black. Everyone was escorted out to the theater while the fire alarm lights flashed. Turns out some ass hat was smoking in the bathroom. Luckily our theater people were decent people and didn't restart every screening from the beginning and pick up pretty much near where they left off. I could never imagine having to sit and rewatch a part of the movie cause the projector or whatever wigged out.

[@culwin]

Brian CAN'T HANDLE THE TOOTH

[@Logan912]

"Shit-for-brains might have been in it..." Who's that-OH, yeah...

[@Lakitu1134]

Which movie-going experience was worse? This one, or Bay Ninja Turtles?

[@yvonnerogers6429]

Yet another review of this movie recommending other movies to see instead. I appreciate finally hearing something about "Christine" because I'd read about it online but haven't seen much coverage of it. I'm sorry the two of you suffered. I hope you enjoy next week's batch. Best.

[@trtx84]

Question about the SPOILERS portion of the film.... Did the post-credits actually *show* Davy Jones or was it implied its him? Because I'd assume the late reveal of the woman being Barbosa's daughter combined with Turner being freed from the "curse" is to set up Barbosa as a new Davy Jones.

[@futuremovieactor]

I checked the MS for On Stranger Tides and...yeah! He was in it!

[@FrenchPaul1988]

27:00 Zardoz exists in the PotC universe ? Now I want that crossover - would be a great make over for the franchise. :D

[@Earthboundmike]

Man, teeth problems suck. My mouth is a horrible mess and I'm just glad that, well, sorta, that most of the time any teeth pain actually decides to be migraines instead. At least I have dental coverage, a bit now. Sorta. I need to use it.

[@robertwhite3457]

Im going to guess shit for brain's is Jake am i right 15:04

[@slytherinhufflepuff217]

Robert White yes I think

[@vfxfan]

I thought it was worth a $5 matinee if you sneak your own snacks in. I didn't leave angry, and it was mercifully short (and my screening didn't have technical difficulties because it was a good old-fashioned screen). It had more memorable scenes than the last one, which went in one ear and out the other for me. At least this one was pretty to look at sometimes. But yeah, all the CGI in this one looked like half the budget of all the amazing stuff they pulled off with Davy Jones and the skeletons. Not sure how well they aged because I didn't see the movies in a while. But considering I saw this one out of personal compulsion rather than desire, I wasn't as disappointed as I thought I would be. I'll probably be seeing Transformers 5 out of compulsion, too.

[@jdzencelowcz]

I'mma level with ya, I did call this the series Transformers of the pirate genre.

[@DerivativeWorker]

They came for Pirates, they got a stroke simulator.

[@robotrix]

I had the opposite problem with a movie. Went to see the Georgio Moroder version of "Metropolis" at a theater and they started it and...no music. So, the young girl manager was on the phone with the owner fooling with the DVD player for maybe five minutes and got the music. When I asked if they were going to restart it (since it was 10 minutes in, maybe) she said, "No, it will mess up our schedule" And I think the Moroder version is 85 minutes long. Got my money back but it was ridiculous.

[@danahimrich4066]

-sees the video is fifty minutes long, grins evilly-

[@sailoritaly]

*Sees time on video* Hoo boy, this is gonna be a fun one

[@dukespubber741]

I have no idea what "The Keepers" is, but I don't blame you for not wanting to come here to Baltimore.

[@SexyButCurious]

I live in Orlando and just about every theater in the Orlando area has reserved/reclining seating which is nice. About this film, I'll probably watch it on TV since I paid full price when I saw the 4th one and I hated it.

[@RichardWatt]

One of the theaters in my city just put the reclining seats in as standard, plus a bar (I'm not joking) but (according to them) they haven't put the price of tickets up.

[@francescab7058]

Really bad optics to ask for financial help re: teeth problems, and then drink your soda. O_o ...Six minutes in, and that's all I can think about.

[@rommix0]

The theatre sounds awful. I would never come back if they took a film back 30 minutes because of a malfunction. I wouldn't want to do business with them.

[@archive9796]

For Guardians of the Galaxy V2 the 3D wasn't working at my cinema

[@Johnny0lovely69]

Phoenix Forgotten was ironically the last movie you guys saw together, I think

[@maxcardillo6390]

no way brad worked at a movie theater. that's awesome. I wish he was my manager at the movie theater I work at

[@arodz21]

Best I can say for this movie: It's better than On Stranger Tides. So fucking funny that anyone tried to hold this movie hostage.

[@Valdagast]

Does Brian has a PayPal or something we can donate to? (I am neither on Twitter or Facebook). And Brian, if your dentist asks you "is it safe", you need another dentist.

[@SereneDancer]

www.gofundme.com/3t0vz6o Try this link

[@Valdagast]

Thank you! And my recommendation is to listen to the Iron Maiden song "Dead Men Tell No Tales" instead.

[@MrJohndoakes]

Alternate title for this episode: "Pirates of the Broken 3-D Projector: The Quest to Save Slaver Brian's Teeth"

[@jdzencelowcz]

Plot holes: what happened to the Queen Ann's Revenge? & Why didn't the de-cursed guys walk back into the water & swim/float back up???

[@ksm13706]

jdzencelowcz Well to answer your first question the Queen Ann actually becomes the Black Pearl! After Jack goes back to shore Cutler Beckett finds out he's a Pirate and has the ship blown up and sunken down to the ocean. Jack was desperate to get his ship back so he makes a deal with Davey Jones, He'll raise the ship but in 13 years he has to give him a hundred souls in return. Jack agrees (and never gives Davey his soul which is why he's after Jack in the second movie) and the Queen Ann is risen from the water as the Black Pearl! :D

[@jdzencelowcz]

You're thinking of the Wicked Wench, that was Jack's ship, the Q.A.R. was Blackbeard's ship, claimed by Barbosa, while the Wench/Perl went into a bottle.

[@ksm13706]

aww shoot! my bad! xD

[@jdzencelowcz]

's ok

[@gathenhielm9977]

Oh, I've been waiting for this one.

[@Emplordxiii]

Was this a real IMAX screen because AMC is infamous for having Fake IMAX screens that are just slightly larger than the largest screen the theater has.

[@DeniseFaraday]

So, did you get your money back, in terms of the IMAX fee?

[@LewdConnoisseur]

"Shit for brains was probably in it" Hmm, I wonder who that could be....

[@29AndreG]

Brad, did you stay for the post-credit scene?

[@billybarnett9518]

Rob Walker was asked that on Facebook, he said hell no.

[@29AndreG]

Did he say what it was to Brad?

[@blaa6]

Here's hoping Captain Underpants will have an MLP Movie Trailer (though the movie itself looks better than Boss Baby).

[@Arrowdodger]

Javier Bardem wanted a movie where he had sillier hair than No Country For Old Men

[@th3mdt]

...Did y'all censor Hollywood Video? Or was that just an accident with the camera?

[@dru-is-here]

I honestly felt like this one was not as bad as the fourth one. To be fair, I did think that the guillotine scene was absolutely awful. But as far as high points: I liked seeing Orlando Bloom again for the 3 scenes he's actually in. My favorite part was the ending. The one joke I really laughed at was when Jack said he wanted to eat Monkey Jack. The flashback scene makes me want a movie of young Jack Sparrow being cool.

[@dreadstheheart]

The second time Brad/cinema snob mentioned zardoz. I know 10 new episodes were knocked out, but for the future >crosses fingers< come on zardoz review

[@MrOiManDudeGuy]

LOL this exact same thing happened when I saw Transformers 4 in IMAX, it froze with 25 minutes of movie left, and then they rewound like 40 minutes making the whole movie nearly 4 hours to get through. fucking brutal

[@gwem1979]

Brian's hands looking fabulous

[@futuremovieactor]

The On Stranger Tides MS had Brad, Brian, Jillian, Sarah and...yes, it had Jake too.