How to Declutter for Someone Who Has ADHD

[@maryannbrown5762]

I knew you were a genius at the very beginning when you said: For people with ADHD, you can’t just come in and start moving things around. They freak out because their stuff may be in a pile, but it’s their pile and they know what’s in it. That’s ME!! I felt so validated. I love the way you speak about what you’re doing when decluttering for folks WITH ADHD. Such respect you have. Thank you!!

[@DorasBliss]

I feel validated too!

[@gaillawrence3106]

Yes!!!

[@irmacarver3327]

I sure AF dont know whats in the pile

[@chazkahenry6047]

Finally! I wish my Mom knew this when I was a teen. My room wasn't dirty or gross, just messy...well to her chaotic, she has OCD (diagnosed). I knew where everything was in MY PILES lol, it really did mess with me when she would "surprise" clean my room while I was at school. I would come home and everything would be gone, thrown away or put in the wrong weird place, it messed me up. The anxiety would get so bad and I would honestly cry and she thought I was being ungrateful, she didn't understand what she was doing to me emotionally, my Grandma finally caught on and my mom stopped, she nagged me about cleaning my room, but she didn't do it anymore. And I became very good with piles and organized boxes, but then I forget I own stuff...

[@deenababie]

@@chazkahenry6047it was her way to show you love. I did the same with my kid. The OCD/ADHD loop between mother and daughter sure is an interesting one!! I am finding it out much later then I should have. Thankfully you had a very astute grandmother. We didn’t / don’t have that which makes it so hard to get all this years later. Wish I could go back and have the AhHa moment when she was a youth & manage it all better.

[@winlou7634]

Neurodivergent folks helping out other neurodivergent folks. Just like we always have. Love it.

[@craiglist483]

Honestly a Super Hero status for this! Helpful forward motion without harmful hurtful emotion!

[@RickKasten]

We need to stick together. We are awesome in numbers!🤜🏼🤛🏼

[@bekkylove742]

How I can find you in My neck of the woods?

[@stormgirl09]

@@RickKasten yea i get the idea of sticking together but after seeing how the modern autism community is i decided to leave it and only stick to a very few good people i can see eye to eye with. too many aspies are into/obsessed with everything LGBT,furries,erotic fan fics,kink culture,the gender stuff etc. a lot of them do drugs as well! they also very anti-tradition and anti-religion. so even we cant always get along with each other all the time. when i was a teen and young adult i used to think the same way though. took several years to realize thats not the case. and friends are hard to come by regardless.

[@janicethomas7217]

Totally agree. As a teacher with ADHD I love my students with Autism who respectfully organize and declutter my classroom. I appreciate them so much.

[@rebeccacunningham767]

Dude's a better psychologist than most psychologists.

[@sharpcanines3347]

If only he'd come to my ADHD clusterfuk and consolidate things into clear bins. I start to panic when MMC starts putting stuff in non-see-through bins. I definitely have ADHD and need to be able to see everything

[@TMcLure100]

He is SO GOOD on ADHD! Way better than most psychologists. And not putting up with mooses.

[@TeaRose9]

Yesss!! He’s so on point!!

[@TeaRose9]

He’s so intelligent, intuitive and compassionate. 💯🎯

[@ManuandMomma]

Just shew that Moose off the counter top 😂

[@damnyankeesdaughter5427]

Asking for help is hard, finding understanding is priceless ❤️

[@KowaiZuzu]

Honestly, hearing someone talk so respectfully about ADHD mess makes me genuinely emotional. I'm not used to seeing people like me being treated so kindly. It's either judgement or pity. Never just "here's how things are and how we're working with it".

[@arizonashopper5095]

Great point. Thanks for putting it so succinctly!

[@sabrinasetzler689]

❤

[@MissouriPA]

Yes this!

[@jeanettepowell7324]

The worst thing is when people say you're not organised!

[@stealth48nurse]

It's easier for them because they're neither friends nor family.

[@theangrybuddhaofficial]

The out of sight out of mind thing is absolutely spot on. - Adult with ADHD

[@ChooseCompassion]

Here too!

[@TRMURRAYNY]

Me too!!

[@ShellBAtoms]

For me, (63 year old woman with ADHD) what's visible to others, is still out of mind for me. I have a super-power of overlooking the clutter I'm surrounded by.

[@theangrybuddhaofficial]

@@ShellBAtoms completely agree we have a super power. It’s almost bitter sweet.

[@ann-mariebeecherill6656]

I sometimes forget about my laundry room and sometimes even my basement. It's like discovering Narnia and then the voice in my head says, "it's just your laundry room stupid!"

[@cortneymc7775]

I’m married to an ADHD person. Years ago I created “Brad boxes” in all the rooms. 2 in the kitchen. So when I’m cleaning I can throw his stuff in the Brad Boxes. It didn’t take long for him to learn to look in those boxes first for any stuff he needs. Saves me time and saves me from constantly telling him where stuff is. Then if company comes by I can move the boxes into an unused room.

[@brendatomlinson]

Brilliant solution! No one gets angry or hurt.

[@kellydoscope_eyes]

That’s adorable, and clever. You’re an amazing partner for him!

[@AnnLu8026]

That's brilliant!

[@LittleDizzyGirl]

That only works if they don't just dump everything out back on the counter

[@nevabothager896]

@@LittleDizzyGirltruth!

[@angelica589]

The DOOM piles are a way of putting all the visual chaos into one spot. It’s an acronym for Didn’t Organize, Only Moved. Each item in the pile will require extra brain energy, maybe because it doesn’t have a designated spot or because there’s a decision to make / action to take around it (like with mail, it may need a reply, and that’s a separate task). When you don’t have the time or energy in the moment, you add it to a pile or box or bag with things that need similar attention so you can handle it when you do have the time and energy. The piles are a strategy to manage stuff in the moment so it doesn’t look so overwhelming. It’s a constant struggle, so thank you for understanding and being compassionate.

[@sekovittol3124]

I realise that I do that, I didn't think of it as a universal ADHD thing. They ARE, DOOM piles because the thought of separating everything from the garbage, cat barf, lost bic lighters, paper items, coins, screws, washers, bolts, dirt and etc. is a monumental task to THINK about doing all the time, so much so that it's quickly forgotten about, or put off for a time when I feel almost neurotypical for a short period of time and go through a pile.

[@MomCat03]

Yes, agree with everything! 😊 Unfortunately for us, (and many), those piles become overwhelming and grow to an unmanageable state which creates huge amounts of stress and anxiety. One trick is to get a shredder and shred mail daily, set up a “simple” small file and separate bills from coupons, etc right away so it takes only an extra minute over just stacking up or bagging it…we didn’t and now have bags n bags n boxes of paperwork everywhere…it’s a crazy mess.

[@AmyHood-Davis]

❤❤❤❤❤❤​@@MomCat03

[@sekovittol3124]

I finally got rid of my 2 person lazy-boy couch, those things weigh a ton, after I busted it up to take to the dump. lurking underneath was enough trash to fill a trash bag. Dealing with this I got welts on my arms from bug bites, or something? Anyway, I dealt with it by separating the snot rags first, then chocolate bar wrappers, then paper, then pens, then moved the big stuff and swept up the dirt. The pile is still shrinking bit by bit. But at least it isn't as gross and can fill a freezer bag now.

[@sr2291]

But if I put things away I would forget where I put it.

[@ADollOnAMusicBox]

“Candy wrapper, broken box, your mom…” I almost spit my coffee out

[@galamander_1327]

Also, the cabinet with wolves snapping, ready for home defense. Lol

[@melindadawngarren5137]

The moose is the one that got me, lol

[@aaronsapp3407]

GenX in the house

[@LeftoverHamsters]

Wait, that was a joke? I just thought he met my mom and made an accurate assessment.

[@suenaylor4543]

Haha so good

[@AshleyEllwood]

"If your friend comes over with depression, you wouldnt yell at them for being depressed. And, if you do, they're the one that needs to find a new friend, not you." Beautiful!! Love how stern that line was delivered.

[@stuartwaldrip9280]

When did you meet my boss?

[@djjohnny5166]

Literally had me tearing up

[@Playlist4213]

I like to call it 'organised chaos'. :) (oops, I put this in the wrong spot)

[@AlannaTheBanana]

So strange; I read this comment at the precise moment he said it. It felt like he was narrating your comment 😮

[@bros4654]

I've actually experienced this. I think that the line was actually something like "Have you tried not being depressed?" The thing is, the comment was well intended, and the person is a good friend. But when their mind doesn't work like ours, they literally can't understand what it's like for us. They just can't. She wanted me to be happy, because she wanted the best for me, but she just didn't know how to help. Sometimes, we have to extend a little grace, too. Hurtful things are sometimes done and said, but with good intentions. A little bit of grace toward each other can be a wonderful thing.

[@sallyloda8038]

OMG! ADHD moment. When my son was in highschool, his room was a disaster area. I challenged him and said to him that I bet he didn't even know where {a thing, I think it was a moose} was. He was lying on his bed, and without even breaking eye contact with me calmly reached under his bed, grabbed the thing and handed it to me. I never complained about his room again 😅😂🤣. He's awesome by the way. ❤

[@elonna2186]

I did that to my mom when I was a kid. Organized chaos is the name of the game. Good on you for not reacting badly to the kiddo proving you wrong. Lots of people would take that poorly

[@dovie2blue]

Yep they end up as the absent minded professor who has piles of papers stacked on every flat surface in their living quarters but they know what pile some paper from 20 years ago is in.

[@ItsSophiaSlay-p6r]

This means he had order in his chaos.

[@jacquicanham4756]

My daughter asked me to help find her brush. The first place I told her to look, she found it... and I DIDN'T PUT IT THERE!! She did.

[@GovernmentsExplained1]

😂😂😂😂 must be nice my daughter is a Devil worshiper

[@peccantis]

The panic about changes in the order of things being thrust on you is so real. If you know you know. ADHD makes you a prodigy at losing things. Not only do you have a propensity to misplace things if an idea strikes you at the wrong moment (keys in fridge phenomenon), you also have the thing where your hand does the thing but your mind is somewhere else so whatever you were supposed to be setting down gets "set down" on thin air or sliding off, and you might never even notice. An ADHD person has probably spent untold hours panic-searching for absolutely crucial items in time-sensitive and otherwise stressful situations. Turning pockets, bags, drawers upside down, at the brink of pushing down a domino cascade of failure. If their space was subject to forced clean-ups (especially in their absence), that meant every task from that point forward became multiple times more difficult, with the added meta-tasks of "find where the heck that thing went" for each and every item they need. So not knowing where things are can really, truly, be triggering actual longterm trauma for them, in multiple ways. Never assume "common sense" will diminish and resolve that response. If you plan to put all their X supplies in their X closet, discuss that first. Ask permission. I am not kidding.

[@elenalves9562]

Thank you for taking the time to explain all about how an ADHD person feels. Happy 2025!

[@witchcraftyasmr4333]

I started crying after you acknowledged that for people with ADHD even receiving help with things like cleaning or organizing can feel like the people in your life belittling you or looking at you as bad because you can’t take care of it yourself. This is my daily reality, I wake up everyday wanting to clean my house and have everything organized, but feeling like it’s useless because it’s just going to become a mess again. Then the paralysis starts and it feels like you’re suffocating just looking at it all and it’s going to swallow you whole… it’s getting better, learning to take care of what’s right in front of me instead of everything that needs to be done, but sometimes that doesn’t make me feel like any less of a failure for not getting it all done. Thanks for the video, it’s inspiring.

[@ApacheMagic]

So well said

[@HayLeesHomeMade]

This is me right now, I'm hoping to be able to crawl out of the cycle soon but idk if i can

[@BipolarBabydoll]

Same! I feel like my bf hates me half the time because he doesn’t understand. He interprets it as laziness or carelessness, despite me trying to articulate the frustration and shame that I am plagued by as a result of wanting to do better but always seeming to fall short. The paralysis is real btw, you’re not alone!

[@bonnieharmon8667]

I feel THIS so deeply🫂🫂🫂🫂 I miss seeing family so much but I get paralyzed thinking about how they criticize me about my home... I don't always have time to go see them and I feel like I'm constantly trying to prove to them I can clean by cleaning there only a little messy house and pray that I can find ways to find that kind of energy when I get home.... Honestly it's just my space it too small or my kids won't leave it alone so it goes into hiding it cause I don't want to throw it away... Having a house full of ADHD or autism and combined is so hard when everyone has different needs to feel validated and able to function... Needing a body double but every one else is in ADHD paralysis or them needing you itis so hard to find balance... We will get a good routine going then 1 thing will throw it off for months...

[@shannonshelley7916]

I was going to comment but your comment said it so perfectly! I love reading these, it’s like FINALLY, someone gets it!! 🎉🎉🎉

[@notwearingawire]

I'm 44, a mental health therapist, AND I have both ADHD and bipolar disorder. I have been shamed my whole life for the semi-organized chaos that I live in. The way that you approached this with such wonderful empathy and humor was, no lie, healing for me. I regret that I have only one account to subscribe with. You are truly a special person. Thank you!

[@krb2448]

Same with me, except I'm not a therapist. This video brought me to tears.

[@PxNxWxGxW]

A bipolar mental health therapist. Does your Patients even know?

[@PlatinumIrishrose]

ADd, bipolar, depression, anxiety, PTSD. Now I'm getting Alzheimer's. I'll be praying for you all.

[@thomasmaughan4798]

"a mental health therapist, AND I have both ADHD and bipolar disorder." I wonder if there's such a thing as a therapist without dysfunctions. My mother was a therapist but also needed, or could have used, a DSM version of her very own.

[@JillRhoads]

@notwearingawire, You are an inspiration for saying this! Ppl forget that when we have help, we are not our diagnosis. I also happen to be dyslexic (as well) and when I tell that to my students, a few of them are amazed that dyslexics are even allowed to be teachers. We are stronger when we work through these things and, even better, when we help teach others how to deal with them as well.

[@Sea0fTime]

This should be required viewing by all psychiatrists, psychologists, teachers, and parents, oh, and other cleaners of course!

[@WarmCatFurniture]

and social workers

[@findKenna]

100% AGREE!

[@gingercameronfordcrouch7057]

And people who live with you who want and do take over and move your stuff and throw things out, etc. Who put you in a place you can't do anything except pile it up more in a shed or where you can't get to it and you can't find anything. So frustrating.

[@tamarabuxton2516]

...and send it to family members.. if you DON'T 'get it', stay away because bullying only gets our claws out.

[@justawaitress8421]

@@gingercameronfordcrouch7057 ​​⁠ my exhusband was/is a narcissist and he would take over a whole space and throw anything away he didn’t think needed to be there. And I’m not talking about his own things. He’d do it when you were not there so you’d come back, things are all moved and different, your personal things gone through, and your stuff in the trash, some things never seen again. Sometimes he’d not do a whole room he’d just secretly throw away one or two things so you’d not notice until much later and the trash was already taken to the dump along with your childhood sentimental thingamajig that can never be replaced. He thinks he’s a great guy! 🤪 the best. A total winner and everyone should be like him and you’re a crazy mental invalid and need punishment if you are not. Of course, there’s a political group he’s a life long member of… I feel so sad for our children he’s in possession of. He put the 10 year old in what she called a “mental institution” for a week because she believed psalm 91. Cruelty is one of his defining features. 💯

[@trbl10]

i’ve never felt more seen, heard, understood, and valued 😭😭😭

[@MomMei-o8e]

This comment is underrated! I feel the same!

[@picilocarnal]

Same!!! I wish there was someone like this KZbinr to help me here in Los Angeles. 😓🙂‍↕️🤩

[@Pursuit4happiness]

Yep especially the love wolves 🐺 part 😂😂😂

[@wendykarle3114]

ditto

[@MothNeo]

whoever started the idea that autistic people don't have a sense of humor clearly doesn't understand dry humor. this was by far one of the funniest videos i've watched in a while.

[@Krumplebumble]

This ☝️☝️☝️

[@Nobody-hc1rw]

I find it very odd that people think that anyhow, but i guess it comes from an early experience. As a kid i had some trouble understanding jokes, especially sarcasm, but not anymore.

[@elb0w]

is that a thing? the funniest people I know are on the spectrum

[@ufojules]

It lightened the mood of the video, really liked it. I'm hoping this motivates me and my ADD brain. Or shames me into decluttering. One or the other will do!

[@arnetrahughes2277]

That moose took me out!

[@BadNessie]

I really appreciate that you don't just see the clutter, but the humans behind it. Respecting people the way they are is something we need a lot more of in this world. Thanks for spreading the word, man!

[@CathyLoveFerguson-gl9ts]

My desk at work... same thing 😂

[@bitrudder3792]

that is my absolute favorite part when I am invited to help other people with their clutter. To figure out the person and what they really want, and sometimes helping them through the part where they want stuff that they don't need, and if they don't get rid of it they might be evicted. To really help them drill down and figure out their highest values and try to help them get there. And that's how I walk myself through the process when I'm decluttering at home. it doesn't necessarily happen all at once, this epiphany of self understanding. And it doesn't necessarily all happen in one event of understanding. It's just good to do what you CAN do in the moment to understand how to help yourself better.

[@patriciashears25]

Thanks for the explanation to help us. Adhders. I was diagnosed 2 years ago. I must have oicked up lots on my own. I always organized. Haha well i a learning!!! Thanks for you guys explaining!!

[@CathyLoveFerguson-gl9ts]

@@patriciashears25 I've become so much better... I had no idea why I was the way I was and didn't find out until I was 73 🥰😘👍

[@alexandercove1194]

Did you just say throw away your mom?

[@dacca2008]

As someone with ADHD the thought of someone else cleaning my house is a horror story. You guys would be hired in a minute. I love the understanding that is being shown. No judgement and a massive dose of humor. Thank you for being you.

[@tinawray9240]

Yes, too bad you're in the Midwest and not the southeast. I could surely use your services!

[@naomifowler5224]

Oh my goodness. Within the first MINUTE of this video, this man had my trust! I have never heard someone (outside my own family) speak so kindly about helping someone with ADHD declutter and be SO RESPECTFUL about how people moving things around can be so triggering of negative emotions (and exhausting because of having to find things later!) that you don’t want to get any help from anyone because you’re afraid they’ll just throw things out because they don’t see the value you place on them (because they don’t SEE the person behind the clutter, just the clutter!) Amazing!!!

[@miso4thesoul]

Coming from a kid who didn't know she had ADHD and had to grow up through the names of being "lazy," "messy,” a "hoarder," thank you for doing this. It's very justifying and makes me feel like a human, and seen!! Thank you thank you thank you

[@witchysam4273]

This. I just had a cleaning company refer to me as hoardery with mental health issues. Which I do have mental health issues but it's the ADHD that's causing me the biggest issues and my limited mobility. Got a new cleaner starting on the weekend.

[@typicalwitch]

​@@witchysam4273 Good luck with the new ones.

[@ShellBAtoms]

I'm 63, and feel the same way. My house and car are always cluttered. I don't see the clutter. It doesn't bother me - until I have to give someone a ride, or have someone over to my house. Shame is the only motivator for me.

[@lumensapace]

I do think it is fair to say that a lot of people with ADHD also struggle with hoarding. I finally admitted to myself that I struggle with hoarding a few years ago and admitting it can help a lot with noticing (and stopping) the thoughts that lead to over accumulating and the struggle to let yourself part with items.

[@abby5188ishome]

I relate completely to what you just said

[@missheju169]

1:07 I respect you. It is not laziness It is not immaturity We are only going throw away real garbage. Thank you for respecting them.

[@juliannesmommy6694]

Tears

[@andreeaburian1408]

❤❤❤Thank you

[@robind6300]

For the first time in my life I feel like someone understands me.

[@martagasowska6772]

Thank you for respect and understanding, for seeing us as human and validating our feelings Few days ago my friend tried to help me with decluttering before moving to the smaller place. We supported each other through really hard times and I know she had good intentions and loves me dearly. That day her anancastic personality met my autism + ADHD + depression combo. I locked myself in the bedroom to avoid saying things, she left my home in tears. We talked but she is still hurt while I spend time in bed and getting up only to care for cats and go to bathroom

[@katharineshade9550]

There’s so much validation!

[@annehedonia156]

​@@martagasowska6772 I'm sorry. I hope you and your friend were able to work it out.

[@andreeaburian1408]

Same here😢

[@user-kx9eh3qo4q]

Yep

[@yaniquewest455]

This video has explained ADHD and cleaning in the most accurate way ever. Nothing else out there makes this much sense. This actually got me emotional ❤

[@fancypanda4929]

I live in an ADHD household, and I also keep my ninja weapons on the counter, my brother tried to put the moose on the counter today and I had to explain to him that the moose will become too confident and attempt to overthrow the household. It’s just too risky

[@bridgetpavlick2447]

You have to watch out for the moose on the counter…..just saying😮

[@babydahl9424]

I'm so glad you explained that to him! You really prevented a very bad situation.

[@fancypanda4929]

@@babydahl9424 😂😂

[@auntiegliz737]

😂😂😂

[@melodyclark4347]

I heard that loud and clear ☺

[@fusewv2239]

My wife has autism and I have ADHD. I’m not joking when I say I cried watching this video. Feeling seen and validated in the difficulties of having an organized house.

[@officermeyer]

Same!

[@Christine-dz6wh]

I felt emotional as well. Just knowing that I'm not the only one with piles. Doesn't help that both of my children are also ADHD so they are Doom piles everywhere. When they discuss the pile of shoes my jaw literally dropped. One of my daughters is like that with shoes there are piles of shoes.

[@TrishTaylor-bk5pp]

💯 Re shoes, clothes, I was a bit like Scooby Doo: "Ruh-roh!" 😳 😮‍💨 His suggestion to clear 70% (ok, he said 80%) inspires me to cautiously consider which aspects of my wardrobe can become capsuled /capsules. Minimalism itself doesn't inspire much, but SIMPLICITY *DOES*!!! ... Let me revisit that homeless pile on the dryer.

[@deborahstone9696]

I get such flack about it so what I did was take a picture of the way I've made it my perfect. That way I just show my kids that. 😂.​@@officermeyer

[@dona4him942]

Yes! I feel comforted myself. 😊❤🎉

[@laditidateginadiade7357]

As a person who has ADHD the "items become decorations" is huge for me! I've actually gotten into the habit of finding decorative bottles and trays to put my day to day things in so that it's still visually attractive (for example my spices and teas all have to be out but I'm working on making them look like apothecary bottles)

[@brandyzordan8458]

I have started this too. I had a lot of stuff in cardboard boxes, laundry baskets etc. And told myself if I have more decorative boxes to put stuff in it wouldnt' look so bad.

[@zyrinaz]

I have been doing that since b4 I even knew what ADHD was! (Well b4 diagnosis)Too much stuff and not enough space, that box of random stuff will make an excellent end table! Just cover it with a pretty peirce of cloth from the cloth pile (wash it 1st) then put a lamp and or fake flowers on it. When I had my own little place, all the little end tables were actually boxes of stuff 😂

[@rainbows_trees_clouds_dais1766]

Me too. I put a whole load of crap/dumping stuff into beautiful pottery bowls or baskets with high edges. Or I buy baskets that are all the same/monochromatic so they have unity and disappear into background so there’s less visual clutter (and it makes my pretty junk bowls stand out more and look special)…. Or…. I chuck everything into boxes and bags and throw them into my spare bedroom/AKA junk room (especially when someone says they’re popping by!!) 😂

[@levmoses742]

Very cool!! I lack counter space for almost anything and love your idea!

[@jenniferbutler1545]

I find wonderful unique boxes at my local Goodwill will. Also decorative baskets

[@mgc3500]

Greatly appreciate the “this is not laziness”, “this is not greediness”… bravo!

[@FromG2eminor]

My ADHD mind was calmed by your compassionate comments.

[@SongOfSongsOneTwelve]

I just wanted to tell you that after only two minutes into the video, I was already getting emotional. I have the worst ADHD and I am also a type A personality. I'm a perfectionist but because it takes caffeine for me to be productive and I don't drink it often because it affects my heart, I live with a messy house. I hate it and avoid it and am ashamed of it. It's weird, because I'm actually amazing at organizing and love to do it for other people and on my jobs. I just get overwhelmed and distracted in my own house. You really would think that I'm a hoarder but I'm not. Your approach and sensitivity to this destructive and very disruptive disability is beautiful. Thank you for sharing this video so other people can understand! ❤ I actually clicked on your video because I'm getting ready to clean my house and was procrastinating as long as possible before having to do it. You've really touched my heart because I don't hate myself as much knowing that other people struggle with these same issues! God bless you and God bless your business!❤

[@emilyr2836]

I also like to organize but get overwhelmed when it's my house. If you haven't tried it already, the two best strategies I've found are to watch cleaning videos while I work and to do very small, focused tasks - things like find all the hairpins on my nightstand and put them in their box, then take a break. You're definitely not alone!

[@Chrissyhappy]

I also have helped friends and family sort and clean but struggled at my house. It’s taken me many years but I now just have what’s loved or used in my house. Everything has a place. I make sure I touch things once. I don’t move stuff and think I’ll sort it later anymore. When I had an abundance of stuff I could never do that as there was never a place. I’d have to shift things to put stuff away. It was a very difficult process for me and the anxiety was real. But the end result is worth it. Good luck on your journey.😊

[@rebeccasourpuss]

You might want to check out the Clutterbug channel - Cas has theories about why people struggle with organizing based on their "clutterbug type." I'm a "Bee" which means I need to be able to see my stuff, but have it very orderly. If it's put away behind closed doors or in containers that aren't clear it freaks me out, so things ended up being left out and that drove me nuts too. Now I'm working on getting things organized in a visual way that's still tidy and works better for me. Her way of thinking is really validating and might be helpful to you, too.

[@cassieo]

My 76YO Mom suffers from clutter, probably undiagnosed AuDHD. I can see some things starting to happen in my house, I probably am AuDHD, as well. She landed in the hospital from a fall in her house three months ago, and has been in a specialized nursing wing for six weeks. During the last six weeks, I cleaned out 70% of her house with help from friends, with tips from MMC. Her home is in disrepair from negligence to maintenance. The house is unsafe, and she can’t live alone quite yet, so she is coming to my house for Home Health. And we will decide in a month if she will go to an Assisted Living place or will spend her money to repair her home and live there. I scheduled a Junk company to help me with her Garage next week. I am proud of you for doing the hard work yourself. I’m an only child, but I have neglected the time with my four children while cleaning out my moms house over the last six weeks. We filled an entire 20’ dumpster. Mom hates that she got too old to do it herself, and hates that I had to neglect my own children to take care of her. Small bites, and it will look terrible before the house looks better, but after three weeks, you should be able to breathe and see a finish line.

[@SongOfSongsOneTwelve]

@@emilyr2836 Thanks for the tips! I’ve found that I have to listen to or watch something or I’ll get side-tracked. zit’s strange how opposite our brains are from others, isn’t it? I can do so many things at once, though and also notice things people never notice. I think God gives us the other abilities to make up for the deficits. I also have an eidetic memory (photographic), and that is a tremendous help because I have dyslexia, dyscalculia and an auditory processing disorder. It’s difficult to start new tasks because of this if I don’t have caffeine. All tips and tricks are much appreciated! 🙏🥰

[@amyfeigt6715]

When my oldest son was born, my mother-in-law arrived before we even came home from the hospital & was there for 2 weeks to "help" (insert eyeroll here). She ended up completely "reorganizing" my kitchen... I couldn't find ANYTHING! A couple of weeks after she left, my mom came out to visit & meet her first grandchild (she wanted to give us space to settle in before she came to see us). One night when I got up to nurse the baby, I saw a light on downstairs & found my mom sitting on the floor in the kitchen putting everything back where it belonged! She understood my "system" & recognized my frustration with what the MIL had done. That was the sweetest thing to me ❤. Having ADHD, I've always struggled to organize & declutter. I've made a lot of progress in recent years, but I definitely have to stay on top of things to keep it from becoming overwhelming.

[@arimewillow4278]

I understand. I'm fully overwhelmed right now.

[@thebatmom]

Omg thats awesome that your mommy knew, love it!

[@cindyhetrick8174]

I'm 65 and have ADHD and bipolar my caseworker used to throw things away without asking I used to get so upset with her she threw away stuff that was valuable that was given to me by deceased loved ones she would take my paperwork and throw it into her computer bag so she would take it home and get rid of it I never knew what the paperwork was I just knew it was mine.

[@thebabythesavage]

I’m crying???? Oh my goodness, right on mama 😭

[@cindyhetrick8174]

@@amyfeigt6715 I'm so happy you had a mom who could help you and put things back where they belong to God's blessing be with you and her and your family

[@starion88esir]

I don't really know how I landed here, but I must say; I've never felt so understood in my life. Dude, you rock.

[@seyj7457]

I wasn't expecting quality dry humor in an accurate how-to video for ADHD-friendly organization, but it was a pleasant and welcome surprise

[@kristianefalk]

The moose! 😂😂😂

[@zathtanks]

The wolves….lol

[@TheKristamazing]

I know. I really loved the humor. I think I need more of that type of humor in my life 😊

[@rebeccamatlack5135]

Not throwing away your Mom 🤣🤣🤣

[@heymynamesmeg]

SAMEE ❤

[@heymer4274]

This was my house four months ago. In November I was diagnosed with adhd at 37 years old. With medication and dedication every day I have finally sorted through a lifetime of my belongings. Decluttering, organizing, finally coming to terms with who I am and not who I thought I was. There is so much shame tied up in this type of mess, that's why adhd people get so defensive. "Why can't I just keep on top of things? Why is everything so hard to manage? Why am I so lazy?" It feels insurmountable. Thank you for this. I hope someone watching sees themselves in this and starts the process to diagnosis. You're not lazy. There's a reason you're this way and you don't have to feel shame about it. And there are ways to learn how to deal with it.

[@autobotdiva9268]

google nest and alexas will help you big time. i only allow my 22 year old with adhd 2 comforters, 1 quilt, 1 heating blanket, 2 bed sheet sets. laundry is wonderful now.

[@shevasativa2169]

How do you go about getting diagnosed? My daughter was diagnosed at age 5. But, I’m 50 & this video is exactly how my house looks, as well as he describes how I think perfectly. I just feel so overwhelmed.

[@AshleyEllwood]

Coming to terms with who I am and who I'm not. Wow! Thank you for the help. I think I need to realize that I am NOT a crafter. I've been holding onto supplies for years and I don't think I have ever once actually used any of it. Thank you!!

[@bitrudder3792]

I am fascinated by how a deeply ketogenic diet, and for some people a complete carnivore diet, is repairing depression, anxiety, and now I'm hearing that it is helping with dementia, autism and ADHD. I know that my brain works better if I stay far away from carbs, and my body doesn't hurt as much either. You might check out Dr. Anthony Chaffee MD, Dr. Ken Berry MD, Kelly Hogan, numeral five minute body, steak and butter gal, carnivore women and other KZbin channels for inspiration and information. They're even treating cancer successfully with a combination of a deeply ketogenic diet, intermittent fasting and a low toxicity med (and over the counter options are available for that third item as well). Our mental issues are not our destiny, necessarily. And changing your diet this way will not stop you from being someone who is probably full of great ideas! It just might give you a better chance of executing them.

[@bitrudder3792]

@@AshleyEllwood- I love that! That was one of my first realizations, but I'm not a crafter (although by necessity I do sew). my other crafting supplies went out the door! It doesn't mean I never do things like that. When I had old candles I gave a lot of them away and then some of them were for a "Craft" I did with my daughter because she makes candles. She made some candles and I made some tea light candles because I have tea light holders. We had a fun day and we might do it again someday. But I'm not a crafter. i'm coming to the terms that I am more of an armchair gardener than a real one, especially as I age. So I will be purging some gardening things after I purge/organize our tech stuff, connectors, surge protectors, charging cords, etc.

[@Zazabazaa]

I have ADHD, and my dad used to get the cleaner to clean my room if I didn't clean it fast enough. I would beg them to stop but he'd say that she's doing it against his will, and she'd say that he told her to. My mom tried to help me in her house, but it was hard because of my ADHD and my dad's terrible parenting. In the end, I only managed to start improving when I left. I started learning to tidy in my own time and way, and I would ask friends to help me if it got too out of hand. All my college friends were very supportive, thankfully, and one of them had OCPD tendencies. Thank you for being so caring towards those of us with ADHD. It means a lot, as so most people tend to just bulldoze over any actual attempt at making progress.

[@christinaedwards7159]

Yor dad was probably the one that had adhd as a kid as well. Adhd is not something that just pops up in a family from nowhere. He probably just got overstimulated by the mess and couldn’t handle it. My home isn’t like this in the video. I have adhd. My mom at one point in my childhood took everything out of my room but my bed and the bedding. She had adhd as a child as well.

[@Zazabazaa]

@@christinaedwards7159 he likely does, but his need for my room to be tidy didn't stem from that. He has an obsession with his image. He wanted my room to be tidy so that any visitors who might stumble upon it while visiting won't think lesser of him. He had no boundaries, either. He let a stranger he was fucking walk through my room to use my toilet while I wasn't in the house despite being alone in a home with 3 other toilets. Never told me. I had to find out by finding a stranger's phone in my room. He has a shattered sense of security and identity that comes from a multitude of problems in his upbringing, including having been VERY poor but also very spoiled (along with some trauma he suppresses) and it has led to an addiction in relation to image maintainance. That's why my room had to be perfect even if that meant chucking all my stuff into a container and shoving it in a hidden corner, and why he tried every punishment he could think of to try and get me to behave the way he wanted me to when I failed to meet his academic standards. It's also why he shuts down when you disagree with him on anything and then tries to change the topic. In fact, he has built such a perfect image of himself to anybody not too close to him that I once heard a student of his compare him to a god. The student even looked genuinely shocked when I laughed at his statement. He couldn't believe that I wouldn't see my dad in that way. But of course I don't... all I see is a broken man trying to do everything he can to hold together his fragile ego in an attempt to avoid facing any real development, only to traumatise me, his only child, in the process. So yea, he may have ADHD, but that's no excuse, and it's not the full picture either

[@rachellestringer]

​@christinaedwards7159 Definitely a victim of the "only the bed and dresser" punishment. Oddly enough i had the cleanest room of all the kids growing up and they acknowledged that often, but I was easily distracted in school. I still had fantastic grades 😂 who knows what i got beat daily for. "Not listening" I guess, whatever that means. I had my ears violently cleaned as a punishment once it was awful. Sucks to be a neuro kid lol

[@christinaedwards7159]

@@rachellestringer my grandmother told my mom that the effort she put into getting me to do my homework was more than she put into all four of her children to do their homework 😆. I was the dreamer, space out, hyper wild child that would do anything no matter what. Had two black eyes at four. Totally my fault… no one else’s. Clutz, and stubborn, ran into bat being swung, and ran into doorway.😱🤷‍♀️. My mom said I had to wait to go to store. Knocked out and seizure @15.. bike accident going to school. Knocked out by car hitting me going home from school @15. 1st one hospitalized, 2nd got up and left.

[@kriekertjiem6701]

God bless you for your heart and insight! It was healing and therapeutic for me!

[@erikmacaluso]

Your compassionate understanding and compassionate honesty are really encouraging and refreshing. Thank you.

[@DragonGirlFire]

I really appreciate how that moose kept coming around. I hope it finds happiness in the sunset in a place it belongs.

[@esmepoms]

As someone with ADHD, you’re funny jokes like “your mom” actually helps to keep our attention. Good job!

[@stevecarter8810]

Yep, dragged me out of the comments and back to the actual video a couple times!

[@heatherdarabos7293]

I started to search for another video to watch in between scrolling the comments until I heard the cabinet of wolves then I realized I would stay entertained 😂

[@esmepoms]

@@heatherdarabos7293 beware of house moose!

[@venteuse]

Crafting, planting... Ninja weapons All equally plausible for ADHD coffee table doom pile

[@lalaniathielen8917]

Funny I'm in the comments now realize that my adhd is in full swing! Loved the Your Mom joke right a​@stevecarter8810

[@TMcLure100]

"I spend up to $3k on these cleans, i don't care, i just want that gold plaque for 1M subscribers" - refreshing attitude and honesty!!

[@Verysouthern]

I need help! But don’t have adhd I have ptsd.

[@Verysouthern]

How can I get help with my house??

[@birgip.m.1236]

​@@VerysouthernMe too!! TBI & physical (musculoskeletal issues) from being hit by a car as a pedestrian ... C-PTSD & a brain that acts like ADHD following all that. I was so excited when I found a book called "I'm Not Lazy, Crazy nor Stupid, I just have ADHD!!" & shared it with my brain injury consultant & she said "No. There's no way you could've achieved all you did before your brain injury if you had ADHD. So it's not "organic ADHD". ME: Who cares if it's organic ADHD or TBI-induced ADHD?! My brain acts like that now!!

[@kristianefalk]

​@@Verysouthern maybe try contact the guy of this video, he says he linked all his accounts under the video, f.e. facebook

[@xWabbli]

At that moment I hit the subscribe button.

[@patriaciasmith3499]

As someone who suffers with extreme severe anxiety I can totally relate to her. I would stop eating for days at a time as a punishment. I worry a lot about my life, everyone around me and pleasing everyone. It's absolutely crippling, so glad she got the help she needed, lovely young lady it's so sad that society has 1 in 3 people suffering mental health issues. I hope everyone seeks help

[@elizabethwilliams6651]

People need to realise that people with anxiety disorders have oversensitised nerves, it's not a simple case of manning up and getting over it.

[@steceymorgan814]

Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about how mushrooms and psychedelics treats anxiety, but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!

[@Jennifer-bw7ku]

Yes, doctor Greg mushroom I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

[@steceymorgan814]

Please, how do I reach doctor Greg?

[@steceymorgan814]

Is he on the internet?

[@fionafitzsimmons1000]

Mac, I have ADHD & I was almost in tears listening to you describe how we deal with things. It’s almost impossible to explain to someone without the condition, that in order for us to cope with how our brains work, we have to do things in a way that seems chaotic to them. Also, thanks for the tip about the wolves. I always kept mine in a plastic bag, but they used to escape and chase my moose around the house, which was quite irritating. Now I have them stored tidily in a locked cupboard and my moose is much happier. 👍

[@Marciaz]

GOD HELP ME. I hope I can do this on my own. Nobody understands.

[@Selyidar]

Tbh I never understand what to do with wolves, either. And my mouse just keep wandering randomly no matter where I put him :-/

[@mariaekman13]

What's a Wolfe..and a Moose? 🤔

[@joanwylde8649]

​@@mariaekman13 Me neither - Please someone tell us......

[@katiegreen5450]

I've never seen anybody understand ADHD so well when it comes to cleaning and decluttering. You are amazing! Thank you!

[@stantheoneandonly]

Your comment about "others imposing a finish line on projects as seen as an insult" was spot on. One of my biggest pet peeves ever since i was a kid is when someone is trying to teach me something And then they just do it without giving me the time to try and finish it for myself Hands-On.

[@birgip.m.1236]

Cuz they weren't actually trying to teach you with your learning in mind, their mind was focussed on THEIR intentions & objectives without considering YOUR needs.

[@watrgrl2]

As a person who has severe ADHD and generalized anxiety I can say with absolute confidence you know what you’re talking about. You absolutely know what you’re doing and I can so relate to how you’re organizing. I need someone like you in my life. You are absolutely incredible, amazing, awesome, and I wish I’d known about your channel and your work years ago. I’m in the pacific northwest .

[@prose_nineonetwozerofivethree]

As an ADHD person. This isn't just how I keep my stuff; this is how I clean. I have my piles, I know where they are. I keep my important documents in a pile with unimportant stuff. But sometimes it get to be too much for me. I like having open spaces; I like having an uncluttered room. So it's great to see someone who validates me, my condition, my processes. Thank you.

[@7177YT]

Same! (:

[@jazmineraymond7495]

Same, I just wish I could keep it that way.

[@cassandrabenson9838]

Same here. I found recently that ive been so grossly overwhelmed by the amount of stuff I have and where it is so each day is a pick up 5 things and put them back or pick a pile and throw something away from it ( if i know its a pile with random stuff like a tiny plastic spoon or something). So far this is helping me get on top of things again and lessen the overwhelm I feel by my range of thingies.

[@SalyLuz-hc6he]

@@cassandrabenson9838 👍🏼💙🤗🦋🌻🖖🏼🌅🌞

[@lizatkinson8034]

I love how your autism awareness within yourself helps other people and your just able to be cautious of others feelings. 🤗

[@carolynsimone8647]

I'll 2nd that..🥰

[@nancybeattyjohnson1906]

I too love how he gets us.

[@melissaladd3308]

Absolutely. Cool beans

[@jhk3594]

Agree 💯 👍 🤩

[@cmrsnowflake]

I had a nervous breakdown a couple years ago. The person who helped me the most was a kind and neurodivergent-aware declutterer like you. I needed a neurodivergent self education, a trauma therapist, a psychiatrist, substance use counseling, and peer support, and all of those have ultimately helped me rebuild my life. But I couldn't even have gotten started on that journey without that declutterer, who understood my day to day ADHD challenges, met me where I was, helped me accept how I am, and helped me function enough at home to get to and survive between all those other services. Thank you so much for educating others about this. We need SO MANY MORE OF YOU.

[@juliannesmommy6694]

How did you find this?

[@HawkeScream]

"even if it makes the next room more messy that's totally fine" has really helped me tbh. i took everything out of a couple spots, and it made other places in the house more messy and cluttered and a pain in the ass, but I've been able to keep those two spots much more clutter-free AND clean, and those two spots spark joy and help me keep chipping away at the rest when I have the energy.

[@discdoggie]

56 year old here who was diagnosed with ADHD/ASD at 52. Although I’ve always been “clean” (clean bathroom toilets showers and sinks daily, no dirty dishes in sinks, 2 loads of laundry daily-but sitting in folded piles on the table, never put away, sweeping vacuuming dusting regularly) my living area was always disorganized, cluttered and looked “messy.” I finally bought baskets and tubs for EVERYTHING, and stuck a label on it. Now not a single gadget or object gets set down anywhere UNLESS it’s in its proper basket

[@hollyjobitner3285]

I hate folded clothes. I take them out of the dryer and hang up everything that I can except socks, underwear, and bras. My mom always dumped my dresser drawers, so now I don’t use a dresser. I hang our clothes on different color hangers and sometimes,(almost always), I have to warm up my clothes again to get the wrinkles out. 💙

[@Joce123]

YES!! OUT IN THE OPEN..I DO NOT HAVE 1 THING IN MY CLOSET OTHER THAN 2 BOXES.I use coat trees & 1 tote for socks and the like

[@Joce123]

​@@blondek767We switched so that our clothes are in the same mono chromatic colors and everything can be washed together without sorting

[@Joce123]

​@@blondek767 10 pieces of clothing counting all seasons of clothes

[@buckeyedav1]

@@blondek767 I am working now on hanging out of season clothes on a rack in the basement and getting rid of storage tubs, takes up so much less space and makes it more organized for me even though I would label my storage tubs the labels would fall off, the tub would get turned around and I wouldn't find seasonal clothes till they were out of season. I still have a lot of work to do with this but just wish I'd thought of it sooner. Anna In Ohio

[@janinebean4276]

A lot of us ADHDers are verbal processors. We also struggle a lot with shame. So what you could do to make it feel less like an invasion or insult, is ask them to tell you how they use their space. Like “tell me about this cabinet.” Because we might have a really specific reason why we have something set up a certain way, like so we don’t forget, so all of the things for a specific task are all together, etc. The thoughts shoot around inside of our heads so fast we have trouble organizing them. Half the time of you give us the space to talk about it, with curiosity instead of judgement, and just listen, we will figure out for ourselves what we need to do. Or give us some different options of solutions you have seen before and talk through them. This also applies to throwing things out. Just ask us about the objects and how we feel about them, how we use them, what the problems and sticking point are. Help US make the decision instead of making the decision for us.

[@emrsngs]

Amen

[@Echinder]

Dang this makes so much sense. I've always noticed my external processing. Never had made the connection to my ADHD and storytelling

[@LadyBrett0805]

That will be fantastically helpful with my boyfriend, I think! He hates when I clean things up while he is gone and has said he would prefer it if I did it when he was home, but I didn't think about asking him how he uses his space. It seems like everything is just tossed in random places. Thank you!

[@jacky11414]

I absolutely relate😅❤ thank you

[@shidehhafezi6826]

Very well said!

[@BF-cy5tf]

Your empathy for adhd struggles almost made me cry. Thank you ❤

[@KaylaJo96]

It's really refreshing and comforting to see someone who truly understands and views it as it is without any judgment.

[@Tryforce8000]

I agree. I'm not even a quarter of the way through the video and I'm welling up at the amount of understanding this guy has for not only the struggles of ADHD, but how we are different from neurotypicals. And how that's not a bad thing. It's just different.

[@CathyLoveFerguson-gl9ts]

I did cry... that was me until I found out I had ADHD at 73 and had grown up that way... my table where I keep my paperwork, like my desk at work years ago, could not be fathomed by anyone else but me... there's now way less clutter because you showed me how to tackle it... 😘👍

[@courtneypayne9790]

Legitimately did... twice so far

[@oldladyraver5909]

I cried as well knowning this is me and how I live. I hate it so much.

[@frostedfluke]

I dont have the words to express my sincere gratitude for showing this is a real thing and not laziness and the compassion for the person who lives here. As a person who has adhd not actually diagnosed until my late 20s it is a struggle.not lazy, immature and Yes medicine helps but is not an instant fix. I think the worst part is no one understanding how overwhelming something that is simple for them todo is an event for others and the embarrassment and feeling of worthlessnes that follows Thank you

[@HealingWarrior-ic6os]

As someone with ADHD I had a strong visceral reaction when you said you couldn’t move plates from one cupboard to another. I yelled “oh hell no!!!” I would go ballistic if someone switched up my organization! Your level of understanding is appreciated and you’re not even cleaning my house 🤣🤣🤣

[@themaggattack]

My MIL use to get into my drawers and cabinets and move my stuff around to where SHE thought it should be. It was SO INVASIVE. She would also cover everything up and put everything away constantly. And I do mean EVERYTHING. She wouldn't even let me leave the baby's high chair at the table, she would always put it in the closet. It was such an inconvenience to drag it out and set it up each time we ate. I could never find anything because of that woman. Everything took longer to do because of how she packed EVERYTHING up EACH TIME we used it. Several times I asked her to please not re-organize for me. To please leave things out where I put them. I asked her son (my ex) to please talk to her and ask her to stop it, and he said he would, but but he never did. One day I got out of the shower and couldn't find a towel and I F***ing SNAPPED! I screamed and cursed "WHERE TF ARE THE F'ing TOWELS?! SOMEBODY BRING ME A GD TOWEL!!!" She was shocked. Everyone was shocked. Idk why they were shocked, since I had basically BEGGED them both so many times to please not re-arrange my things. And this was my own personal items in my own damn bathroom, ffs! I told them either I had to move or she did, because I literally can NOT function with her constantly hiding my things from me in the name of "helping." He didn't understand why I was making such a big fuss about it. He is now my ex. Good riddance.

[@HealingWarrior-ic6os]

@@themaggattack That’s awful!!! Some people have no concept of respecting other people’s boundaries. You don’t have to understand why it’s a big deal in order to respect it. I was at my sister’s house with my Mom a couple of months ago and had to act as referee between the two of them. My Mom thinks she has the best ideas about how something should be done or how it should be organized and my sister freaks out every time my Mom interferes. My Mom just can’t accept that she can make suggestions but can’t dictate how my sister does things.

[@HealingWarrior-ic6os]

@@melindahajdin 🤣🤣🤣 I thought about explaining all the nuances but then I realized that if you actually listened to what Mac said and read what I wrote and came up with “entitled” and “attack” then you’re not going to understand even if I explain it to you.

[@mrandisg]

@@HealingWarrior-ic6os "You don't have to understand why it's a big deal in order to respect it." This hits the nail on the head! If only more people (ahem neurotypicals ahem) understood this concept...

[@HealingWarrior-ic6os]

@@mrandisg some people would prefer to be judgemental and feel superior instead of putting in the effort to try to understand

[@sjahope]

to be honest, i did not expect this level of compassion/understanding of neurodivergence and lighthearted comedy from someone with this voice xD

[@TrishTaylor-bk5pp]

Great voice, too. ☺️

[@hgrey8725]

Dawg, I almost teared up watching this. As a guy with ADHD/autism, who actually went through years of hoarding, the way you spoke about the whole subject was the most validating thing I've come across in so fuckin long. I have never seen such genuine understanding and compassion in a cleaning/decluttering video. More often than not, the people being helped are made to be seen as disgusting or lazy. Seeing some actually treat us as human beings and not just obstacles in completeing a job is immensely validating.

[@lirinthea3177]

I was recently diagnosed with adult adhd in my early 40s, that kind of house remembered on my own childhood rooms and apartments. The childhood rooms were very messy, everything was on the floor, but later I stuffed it just in the closets or drawers. In my first job training I learned to love minimalism and clear surfaces, there was some kind of peace without all the stuff. But later in my life I got so much things where I didn't know where to put them, it just stay there until I get feeling unwell. When I see no clear surfaces around me, I get easily overwhelmed and wanted bitterly some calm and peaceful surroundings. I started to clean up but don't finish it at all, because I get distracted. I have to move every couple of years, that's the time for decluttering. It's everytime really amazing to see how much more stuff you have after only 4 years. When I packed these things out, I ask myself many times why I didn't threw it away earlier.

[@aspcia]

As someone with ADHD I really appreciate your approach. It's refreshing and comforting.

[@nascenticity]

i was gonna say that you have no idea how much it means to see someone who *gets* why cleaning is such a struggle for neurodivergent people and has actual strategies and tips that aren’t just “make a list” or “force yourself to do it even though it’s overwhelming”… but then you said you’re autistic, so i’m sure that you do. i’m autistic and adhd and cleaning is basically a traumatic process for me because there is so much social baggage around doing it the “right” way. i really like the idea of reframing things in terms of making items easier to access even if it doesn’t look “organized” to neurotypicals - i never feel better after cleaning because i can’t find anything and i know it’s not gonna stay like that, but i would probably feel a lot better if things were organized simply based on being able to find and to get to.

[@autumnwillow]

I felt everything you said. The amount of advice I get “just do it”. They don’t get it 😂

[@Shawnasart76597]

Honestly the more I watch this the more it feels like it would be so helpful. Half of the time my issue with cleaning up my ADHD house is that looking at the piles is overwhelming and my brain decides that it can't handle it. But having someone come in and just organize the piles so they are a bit more orderly and logical so I can see everything and then go in after to organize it fully would be super helpful.

[@MathewWoodard]

Try to pick one thing and one thing only, and do it on a timer. Maybe it’s picking up all the loose trash in a room. Take a break when the timer goes off and then either go back to the chore or be done, either way you made progress. Look up the Pomodoro technique, it’s been really helpful for me.

[@autobotdiva9268]

i program my 22 year old google nest with all daily cleaning/washing for reminders

[@zoeolsson5683]

Best decluttering session I ever had was getting help to clean up for a party after I put my back out.. The person I hired brought bags/boxes to me and I sorted them out and got them to put them away with similar items .... ADHD me uses up my executive function just determining what pile/location the item is to go.... Getting up and putting away to return to the next item too much distractions .... I have tried to explain this to people supporting me when I don't have backache and they just don't get it. ..

[@katherinej51679]

Exactly! And I know that once I start, someone will interrupt me before I can finish and I’ll have to stop and never get back to it. So I don’t start.

[@katarh]

The trick with the laundry he did is how I can actually fold mine as it's coming out of the dryer. I do a rough sort into pants, shirts, socks, etc. Then I sub sort the shirts into t-shirts, long sleeved, and such. Once my brain sees "oh, there's only four t-shirts" then the previously overwhelming basket of laundry is suddenly a tiny task I can take care of in about five minutes.

[@ifergot]

The way you talk about adhd just makes sense. It's putting habits into explainable words. I love it so much.

[@cjcj2010]

When you said that you would leave there's stuff in the same general area, where they could find it, instead of going on an Easter egg hunt, I breathed a sigh of relief. Thank you for respecting them!

[@LisaofHopewell]

This is such a great educational tool. So many people need to understand their relative is not a "pig" but has ADHD and could use the RIGHT type of help.

[@VioletGraces]

Thank you for your respect for those of us with ADHD. For 70 years I have felt badly about myself because I can’t do what everyone else seems to know how to do so organically

[@typicalwitch]

*hugs*

[@CL-lo3xr]

Me too.

[@Burningheartcelosia]

I’d listen to you narrate cleaning for hours. Esp about complex issues such as adhd. I have adhd and OCD! So there is A LOT of comfort in your process and words. Healing to hear it from someone else.

[@muchthump]

I don't know how or why the algorithm brought this in front of me, but I nearly cried when I watched this. I have had such well intentioned close friends want to clean my space (part bedroom, part racing drone building shop, part sim racing rig, part movie theater) and have to wait till I left town so I wouldn't fight them every step of the way. I would always lose my shit when I came back to an otherwise immaculate space. I would go to a really dark place, go through all the negative emotions, end up feeling like my life wasn't worth anything. Much to the confusion and frustration by the person wonderful enough to spend so much time and energy to do take on something so impressive in scope. They are a also on the spectrum and have severe OCD, so they can't help themselves and have to organize and they watch my cat when I leave town for work. This has led to countless fights that I felt like a complete A**hole for initiating, even at the time, being aware of this gift they were trying to give. You explained so much to me in the 1st minute of this video than any therapist or councilor has in decades. Thank you. Subbed and belled. Gonna go put your vids on an extra screen just to give them all the interaction. Might even watch, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. Can no thank you enough!

[@zezezep]

You said it for me

[@lyn3325]

Honestly, show this to them. Even just the first part of the video is enough to explain some things you have been trying to get out vocally. Sometimes people don't listen to just one person, but they'll listen if multiple people say it Edit: It might not change their behavior, but it might explain the why to your behavior and reactions. It might at least increase consideration of you

[@jenniesgenuinegems]

@@zezezep me too!

[@amandaallen3422]

I am going to help a friend declutter and organize and she shared that she has ADHD. This is exactly the video I needed this week! Thank you so much for giving the respect and space to people with ADHD.

[@julietchristen]

What you're going to do is called body doubling for us...having someone here helps keep me motivated to do what I need to do, and it's sooooo helpful--thank you on behalf of your friend!! :)

[@Finkeldinken]

Send her the link to this before you two get going - maybe she needs different or even no accommodations in one or more areas. As a fellow ADHD’er who needs professional help to keep on top of things: thank you for being a good friend!!!

[@horsepanther]

You are a good friend!

[@rivenrime]

I wish I had someone like you who would help, but not judge. Thank you for your kindness!

[@kellybraun7048]

I have a friend who is doing this for me. My dad had severe ADHD. I’m living in his house, as someone with ADD, trying to go through his stuff. My friend acts as a second pair of hands, doing whatever I want/need. I become more focused when I need to direct someone, because I have to verbalize what I want and be thinking ahead of what we’re doing. We pause for me to think as needed. Patiently standing there does wonders. Making sure I stop to hydrate and pay attention to my body- are my muscles sore? Stretch. Don’t try to lift something beyond my weight limit (no injuries allowed!), sit and rest at times, etc. I try to make a goal list beforehand, which gets referenced as we go- sometimes general like “kitchen”, other times specific tasks or projects that I can’t finish on my own.

[@ObscureAuto]

Your description about how nebulous organizing a kitchen is then respecting that persons choices is amazing.

[@lokipuppy]

omg my friend just sent me this and this is what I thought I was getting when I paid for a decluttering person, instead I got their staff doing pretty much what you said they shouldn't do and I was out a lot of money I couldn't afford and digging through trash bags on my porch for my stuff. Two years later in was still finding weird shit they did. They unpacked a box with my grandmother's jewelry and put it on display and threw away the hair stuff I had on my bedside table I actually wore daily. Now I'm just completely overwhelmed and it's just churning. It doesn't feel bad that you could do this in a few days or a week, that kind of feels like hope. I know it could be done like that, but finding someone to help is so hard.

[@joeq3838]

Thank you so much for understanding the “out of site, out of mind” and the panic and rage taking things out of our disorganized order can generate. And also for doubling down on the fact that the house doesn’t need a deep cleaning, because, yes, being messy and disorganized doesn’t mean unhygienic

[@npflaum]

As a sort of "Neatfreak", I appreciate all the info you gave in this video. I have loads of friends and family living with ADHD, and I realise now that some of the ways I was trying to "help" were not actually helpful. Mack out here savin' relationships and banishing Mooses!

[@dovie2blue]

Yes, leave their piles alone!!! Never file anything away. Just love them and let them be!!

[@kimberlymiller655]

Especially the wolf information! Very important!!

[@torakfett3351]

I’m going to show this video to my husband so he stops “cleaning” by shoving things into plastic totes. It’s so unhelpful,

[@stampandscrap7494]

​@@jadeperlman3182 I wish I had your version. Its messy in both places with me.

[@mrandisg]

@@jadeperlman3182 That's important to point out as well. ADHD affects each person differently. It's not a clear-cut thing. The most important thing is treating everyone with respect, regardless of how their ADHD shows up.

[@bethirwin7445]

I settled down with my coffee to enjoy this, but the minute Jason started washing sink stuff, I remembered I’d left a herd of moose soaking in the sink. No self respecting woman can leave soapy meese in the sink while someone else is scrubbing, so I had to pause the video long enough to get the moose herd scrubbed & drying on the rack. 😂 Now I can enjoy my coffee & the rare sight of men cleaning a kitchen ❤

[@juancena1259]

OMG THE LAST SENTENCE

[@steviemichelle7271]

@@juancena1259right?!? 😂😂😂

[@flyingumbreons]

Hope you have canned Moose face in the cupboard😂

[@oleanderlove6113]

State of equilibrium reached ❤

[@lindaalpp1446]

Too funny.

[@Hiddenroses2000]

Holy moly - I need your help so badly. You're so right about the many explanations you've provided - You can even see the good intentions that didn't work out. We buy lots of containers with the hope of becoming organized - then we start and get overwhelmed and it adds to the clutter. We have many piles of containers with only a few things in each one, usually because we forget we already started or get compulsive about cleaning but if we dig down and start over there will be NO visible difference. Like the shoe rack - good intentions that weren't enough.

[@lindasaffles4189]

I have a grandson with ADHD that i nicknamed him INVENTORY CLERK. No joke he could always locate stuff at his house and my house. You are amazing.

[@DrPsychlops]

AuDHD therapist here. I LOVE this. I'll send it to my clients and other therapists.

[@Emperor-Quill]

THANK YOU for mentioning that ADHD folks like myself have trouble with a form of object permanence. If I don't see a thing I had and nobody can tell me where it's gone, my immediate assumption is that it was tossed out, and I start freaking tf out bc "wth dude that was mine why'd you throw it away :(" Especially since growing up, my siblings and I had trouble keeping our room clean. So one of the means my parents frequently used on us was literally just throwing away everything left on the floor. If it was on the floor, it was trash to them, be it a Christmas gift, or candy wrapper! That definitely left me with ✨️Issues✨️ when it comes to other people having access to my stuff, but that's just kinda what having ADHD was like during a time when it wasn't super well-understood. And by "a time when it wasn't well understood" I mean like, around 20 years ago. Seriously, it is SO IMPORTANT to respect people and their belongings, and you're awesome for that!!

[@CallieCEntertainment]

To be clear and dispel misinformation before you continue spreading it, this is not object permanence. That is a milestone that is experienced by infants. We aren't infants, we know that objects exist even if we don't see them. Forgetting about objects, and the thought objects don't exist are two different things. What we with ADHD have is something called object constancy, and that is a term you can Google. Unfortunately the misinformation of 'object permanence' is becoming more and more mainstream and it seems people are just going to use it incorrectly until a new buzz word has been created. As the video states, 'out of sight out of mind' that has to be the most astute quote ever used to describe a person with ADHD. And it's the entire basis of object constancy. We are still attached to the object, we know it exists, we occasionally forget about it if we aren't able to view it, even peripherally. We still love our friends even if we don't talk to them every day and forget their birthdays.

[@jenniesgenuinegems]

100% agreed!! This video just changed my life and view of my ADHD self!

[@mariaE1960FL]

When something goes missing the first thing I do is blame my husband for throwing it out, which of course he didn’t,,,

[@anstriagreenwood3365]

Spot on - I can't believe how insightful and useful this is. Did anyone else watch a part of this then go looking for baskets and containers to put stuff in? Then only put a couple of things in the basket, then stop because the anxiety started? Then go back and watch more of the video?

[@Ruezy428]

As someone with a perpetual floordrobe, I can tell you that the morning after when you wake up and can walk across a room without stepping over piles is one of the biggest reliefs while also kicking my perpetual anxiety up just half a notch.

[@fearlessknits1]

Yeah, my current organisation project is to make a specific place for clothes I've worn (no longer clean, can't go back in the drawer) but not yet dirty enough for the laundry basket. So not killing the floordrobe, just relocating and limiting it!

[@Katie_DelTaco]

One of the best things I've ever done was started using a closet sweater organizer for this purpose! When the cubbies fill up, as they inevitably do, I just throw everything in the wash, because clearly I'm not going to wear it again anytime soon. No more clothes chair.

[@TheDirtyWork]

"Floordrobe"🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣saaaame.

[@SANITIZEDINC]

"Floordrobe" is my new favorite word.

[@SarahBethMac]

​@@fearlessknits1I got one of those coat rack/ shoe storage things for my "not really dirty yet" clothes! It helps so much!

[@CynthiaMiller-cc3qj]

I have been decluttering & purging my house for 3 months now. I have empty spaces everywhere. Please send all your unwanted mooses (?) over and I will take care of them and give them love❣️❣️❣️

[@BF-cy5tf]

meese?

[@mbart91891]

Meeses 😂

[@viviennejordan215]

​@marybartlett2375 Love those meeses to pieces! 😊

[@flyingumbreons]

I love canned Moose face.😂

[@gottahavethatfunk]

I have absolutely NO ROOM FOR A MOOSE. BUT SEND ME 2

[@uninvincibleete]

as someone with adhd: thank you for this!! a lot of people don't realize adhd is a disability, and the 'well get over it' attitude can't fix adhd symptoms anymore than it would fix diabetes symptoms or allow someone in a wheelchair to magically walk. just because it would be easy for a neurotypical person to keep things tidy, doesn't mean it would be easy for an adhd person. the chemicals in our brains literally don't work the same! i sometimes explain it to people with gasoline: you might be a big diesel truck, and when you want to gear up and go somewhere you just put in your diesel and you're good to go! but if i don't have a diesel engine, no amount of the diesel that works for you is going to get me where i need to go. in fact putting diesel in my engine would clog it and make it impossible to run! thank you so much for understanding this and presenting it to your audience. i think it really helps to spread compassion thru understanding. also the organized chaos is true!!! we often have visual/muscle memory, so when we're trying to remember where we put something we're almost retracing our steps like CSI haha. as a kid i always lost stuff when my mother force-"organized" my backpack because she didn't like how it looked (it was functioning fine!!).

[@janebrown7231]

Love that diesel truck analogy- stealing that! Spot-on. 👍 I often use epilepsy as my comparative, too.

[@valor101arise]

Great video. I just got done organizing SOME spaces of an ADD family member. I'm neuro-typical and have been waiting 5 years for an open door to help. I've offered about once a year when they've expressed exasperation but only last week did they give the ask!!! It made me feel so good to see the joy on their face when they walked in and felt they could breathe. I spent several days just working on kitchen, dining, and bath. They still have 5 stuffed closets and spare room. This person's problem is they forget they have certain things or just want an item they see and buy buy buy. They also have projects they never get to and all the state of the art items for it. I was glad to help and they did great getting rid of bags of items❤❤❤

[@julietchristen]

This was the first one of your videos that made me cry...I was diagnosed at 51, and just hearing someone "see" someone like me...just, thank you.

[@dta1329]

My goodness, bless you. I was diagnosed at 37 and it was like going through a mourning period of all my ‘failures’. I swear there should be a support group for late diagnosed adults. Being diagnosed is so validating but the emotions are overwhelming. It does get better.

[@abbyb6958]

Your understanding of how distressing moving someone with adhd’s stuff can be is so refreshing. When I was younger before I was diagnosed, my parents would often clean my room when I wasn’t there bc it was always a disaster, but I would come home and cry at the sight bc no longer knowing where anything is was so overwhelming and upsetting. (Thankfully they’re super understanding now). I just want to thank you for your understanding and compassion

[@chandica]

When mom did this, I also found it insulting and shaming. She honestly thought she was helping. When my dad was diagnosed a few years ago, she started doing research on ADHD and she realized why I've always been my father's daughter. She realizes the damage her words and actions did and has apologized so many times. I want her to stop beating herself up. She really didn't know. None of us did. Now she understands and the comments and "help" have completely shifted to words and actions that truly are compassionate and helpful.

[@SooZQ929yt]

I’m 61 and remember when I was maybe 12 my sister 13 put a line down the middle of our room and told me not to let one single thing of mine touch her side. It’s a shame ADHD, or mental health in general, was not openly discussed in the early 70’s because I’ve tried and failed ALL MY LIFE to maintain order around my house. My daughter is the first person to ever tell me I’m ADHD. Everything you said about us made me cry with your understanding and compassion. It was like you were talking about ME and I felt a little less ashamed. I’m glad your video hit my feed 💚

[@KelseyDrummer]

That happened to my mom! I'm the same. Hugs to you!

[@unicornmilkshaker1871]

Omg my daughter is the one who pointed out I too had adhd. This is me all over and I'm 42

[@jenniesgenuinegems]

That EXACT same thing happened with my sister and me!! A tape line down the middle of the room! The funny thing was, though, the door was on my side... however, MUCH later, she did her dissertation on educating kids with ADHD since both her kids had it... and pretty much diagnosed me. Full circle!

[@vanessasamse3434]

My sister and I both have adult diagnosised ADHD. We both have "hoarding" type tendencies that are very different from each other so we both think the other's household is an absolute disaster but have reasons for our own mess. I've helped her move a few times and we've both helped each other clean which always results in fighting even though it's very needed and appreciated help. This is the first time I came across your video and the first minute made me emotional! You get it!! Great advise for next time I go to help her and for myself with my own place. You're amazing! Thank you!!❤

[@ViktorSarge]

The banter and empathy combined makes this channel unbeatable for me.

[@mamabeargardens9439]

I was a late in life ADHD diagnosis, and I am ready to cry right now with how much I feel SEEN and understood and not judged. The piles, the clutter, the floordrobe… it’s so overwhelming. And with a spouse who is “all or nothing” with cleaning (ignores the chaos for months, and then decides to bulldoze through it and throw out anything he doesn’t think looks important), my depression/anxiety/panic over the issue just paralyzes me. I cannot thank you enough for your understanding and compassion!!

[@mrsjayrez2627]

Organization for ADHD “point of use” will be the winner catch phrase. Coffee pot- filters, coffee scoops cups and flavor syrups need to be around where the coffee pot is. I like raised shelves for the kitchen and bathroom so things can go over or under the central focal item or use for said items. It’s typical how you organize but it’s still in sight for neurodivergent brains 👍

[@honeygoldfamilyfarm5623]

I try to explain this to some of my family members and they just don’t get it. I want the stuff to be where I use it, otherwise I will never do the things at all

[@mackenzieberg7304]

I was diagnosed with ADD during the great diagnostic wave of the early 90s, and haven't done anything with it since. I also deal with depression and anxiety problems that have peaked this year after a ton of crap happened in a row. Watching your videos is helping me to START dealing with an area that I know I'll get into, and remind me to actually FINNISH it, not just move the piles around. The house is clean. It's the piles that my brain sticks on. Thank you for being non judgmental and funny about topics most people tip toe around, judge, or ignore.

[@ravioliravioligivemeareaso4447]

I have ADHD and I used to live in what I called “organized chaos” Now that I’m medicated I’m much more sensitive to clutter and things being dirty (before I wouldn’t even notice) so I’m desperately trying to implement routines and organize my stuff in a way, where it works for me and is also easy to maintain. It’s proving to be very difficult! But I also know that when someone other than me tries to help by inventing new systems and putting my stuff in boxes, it actually feels violating! This video reminded me that my “organized” doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s.

[@lisawhitehall1870]

Word

[@elizabethmcglothlin5406]

It's so refreshing to hear a man acknowledge the importance of 'making it pretty'!

[@uninvincibleete]

another thing to consider for people wanting to help someone with adhd tidy up: there's a really good chance we've been beating ourselves up about the mess from day 1. every time we see it we're taking psychic damage because it's a physical reminder of what we can't do that we feel like we should be able to do. telling an adhd person "just [thing someone without adhd would do]" or telling us we 'need to do better' etc. is really hurtful and damaging. not only will it not help us be tidier (if it did help, we would have done it already!), it will more often create such a negative experience that next time we *won't* ask for help and we'll just let things get unbearable. thank you so much for being understanding and educating your viewers!!

[@Someone-Who-Exists]

I'm so glad I found this channel! I had undiagnosed ADD for 16 years and even though I started medication, cleaning is still extremely difficult for me. Today I'm packing up my room to move out to a college dorm and its been a bit rough. Listening to how you explain ADHD and cleaning along side you has been oddly comforting and motivating! Thank you for everything you do

[@InSouthernMaine]

This video should go viral - maybe that would be the first time social media actually contributed to mental health. What a wonderful voice for sanity and compassion and good-natured humor! (And the decluttering is really inspirational!)

[@MMHay16]

I think recognizing the "out of sight, out of mind" principle in myself is what has allowed me to reorder my home in a way that's friendly to my ADHD. But I also think watching your videos has made me *want* to clean and made it fun for me! Un-piling my piles has become my new hobby. After all I have to make sure I didn't leave any of my live snapping wolves lying around on the floor

[@cougarmoorhead-douglas1972]

Me too

[@andriannawalsh931]

I found what helped me a lot was someone being very gentle but firm with me when it came to decluttering. They would pull all my stuff into organized piles and then I would sit on the bed, they would hold it up and say “keep or donate?” And if I got stuck than for the time being it was a keep. No pressure to part with something if I wasn’t ready but once you’re in the groove and having fun with it you start parting with things much more easily and then we would have fun coming up with new ways to organize everything again once we had sorted through it all. Obviously need tons of snacks and music and 5 minute breaks in this process!

[@lorelynleisure4048]

I thought I was "just" dealing with depression, but you are describing me perfectly. I have brothers with ADHD or ADD and we always thought our father had it. At 61 I am starting to wonder if this has been my problem all along. It was never thought to be a thing for girls when I was younger. Thanks for all you do for people, it's a blessing to them.

[@Susan-lm8fp]

I wish more people could be thoughtful, respectful, and kind towards those with ADHD, etc. Thank you for all you do ♡

[@DavidHansen725]

As a single adult trying to make it in life with severe ADHD, I just want to say; thank you for your understanding and compassion. I'm not religious, but God bless you anyway. 🙏🏻

[@TrishTaylor-bk5pp]

🙌🏼🫶🏼🙌🏼

[@Shawnasart76597]

It's funny because I have ADHD with really bad executive dysfunction, so my house is not too far from this (although my partner helps keep it to a certain standard) and if someone were to come in to clean I would probably lose my mind not knowing where everything is being put. But if I somehow get a blessed hyperfocus day for cleaning, I am likely to throw out 1/3 of the things in my house and not care at all about them. I just need the control over knowing what is where. And I have an art room dedicated solely to my projects where I store every hobby I have started for the past 10 years. It's full.

[@brianaschmidt910]

I was told i was "ungrateful" when I had a meltdown over my family cleaning my room

[@mindyhoward1505]

😂😂 "It's full." 😂😂

[@Ryuusei924]

i’m the exact same way with the art storage room and needing to wait for days where i actually have energy to go on cleaning sprees. thanks for sharing!

[@mkymse7]

YES! If I want to throw it out, it's fine, but not when someone else does! More than once, I've gone digging through the trash because my husband threw a pile of papers in the trash without looking at them. He was cleaning the counter and assumed it was all junk. It made me feel panicked because there might have been something in that pile I needed.

[@birgip.m.1236]

​@@mkymse7Yep. I got so good at shoving important papers I couldn't deal with between book pages as bookmark- reminders that it became as tho I was hiding these important papers from myself. Maybe it was my protective alter ego?

[@texrayvision]

I have ADHD, GAD and MDD and cleaning is one of the most difficult tasks, but when I do it I follow a really similar method. The amount of empathy and care taken is astounding. Y'all clearly care for your customers and this is above and beyond; liked and subscribed.