MIFF 2015 Talking Pictures: Holding The Man - Behind the Scenes full version

Moderator Richard Watts (Triple R) joins director Neil Armfield, screenwriter Tommy Murphy and stars Ryan Corr and Craig Stott to discuss Holding the Man, MIFF's Centrepiece Gala film in 2015.
Co-presented with the Australian Directors Guild.
Recorded at The Forum Theatre, Melbourne. Sunday 9 August 2015.
Thanks to Matt Cleaves and George Clipp from Oh My! Creative Studio for the recording and edit.

[@samhall5750]

I've seen this film at least ten times in the last five or so days. Usually, after watching a movie with a sad scene that makes me cry, it stops making me cry after a few more times. But this movie just destroys me. I start crying the second Tim says "no" when John asks him about his death and don't stop until the credits.

[@fontainecelia5140]

Yeah, I know how you feel. I'm literally opsessed with this movie. This is a real master piece

[@teodoralubenova3113]

Oh my god I thought I was the only who rewatched several times in the same week

[@newberlinwall2868]

I'm the opposite. I usually cry the third time I see a movie and I cannot stop it. But this time I cried the first time and I'm sure this is not a good sign

[@principeraphael4859]

It’s one of the most romantic movies I’ve seen.

[@ashhamilton3989]

same, best movie I've ever seen.

[@grooovygrace_]

Ryan is just like "here he goes" and he's all smiley and happy that Craig is speaking his thoughts and opinions 😂❤️

[@MarkThomas820]

An Australian classic. I sailed through the 70's, 80's and 90's witnessing the death by AIDS of some men in my life who were beautiful in spirit and body. I watched Holding the Man several days ago and I found myself remembering the ones I knew that died, and for this remembrance of them all I thank those involved in the making of this film. Shine on dear sweet, brave ones.

[@allgood5710]

Craig is just so honest, blunt and yet charming.

[@suzanneforgione1018]

Rip - Tim & John. We will never forget you!

[@Cla_Disney]

I don't know why of all the scenes of this movie, the one where the two boys dance in front of everybody, is the one it always gets me. So powerful.

[@saurabhvloggers1447]

Hi

[@Jody.50]

An emotionally draining, fiercely funny and wonderous love epic with a complete and utterly honest, in your face story that guides you to the reality of an epidemic that changed and affected lives the world over.

[@michaelkylow4411]

What an amazing descprition!!! And what about the actors? Ugh! They are so damn cute together, breathtaking!

[@thefuckisgoingon]

Cant believe I just watched it on Netflix, great movie! And Craig can please go on speaking for hours, I wouldn't mind.

[@katherinelopez4548]

PREACH CRAIG! PREACH!

[@thil123456789]

So, Craig is basically Tim and his outspoken political mindedness coupled with John's eyelashes and build.! Wow!

[@nadineg1889]

I cried so much throughout this film. OMG!

[@markburguron639]

the final half hour I wept even after the movie was over . Omg why was this movie not considered for Oscar consideration?

[@organicgrandpaw8016]

mark burguron Truly

[@suzanneforgione1018]

It should’ve at least been considered for an Oscar. It definitely would’ve won. This movie brought tears to my eyes. RIP to all those who died from this horrible epidemic.

[@Miguel.Osterno]

That's exactly what I thought while was watching

[@nicholasgrichards]

@fun dad You hit the nail on the head.

[@emeillepaez9234]

Love knows no boundaries. Thanks for the tears well spent, Craig and Ryan! Tim and John will be happy

[@lindaturcotte6481]

Incredibly beautiful and poignant story. Love is love.

[@julielast24]

AHHH Craig is really preaching YAS

[@molukvatten6232]

Love love love holding the man.❤️❤️ beautiful love story

[@kimberlywalker3970]

To get an idea how gay men think for a story I'm writing, I've been reading articles and watching films on various websites. Some perpetuate stereotypes of gay men being prissy, shallow, and looking for the next hookup. Others have been okay but don't stick with me long after I see them. However, there are two exceptions. One is The Acrobat, which I thought was more of a character study of two men and not so much about sex. And, this one, which I saw Saturday. I thought about it all day Sunday and off-and-on today. I thought Tim's courting of John was especially sweet and his pursuit of him showed no fear or boundaries. Watching the scene about the AIDS diagnosis was tough to watch because in the 1980s it essentially was a death sentence. I was also angry w/Tim for putting their lives in jeopardy but, at the same time, I found his devotion to John, up to the end very sweet, sad and, at times, painful to watch. One day, I was talking to a co-worker about cancer being a death sentence to some w/out much in the way of advanced research and the successful treatments now available for HIV. I totally frustrated and, ashamed to say, seeing the issues from one side. You could say I had a change of heart after watching this film because, after watching it, I thought no one deserves to die like this. Honestly, It's been awhile since a film has moved me to tears and made me think. As bad as I feel for John and Tim, at least their story will live long after them. And, to those who are prejudice against anyone who is gay, I suggest watching this film because, in my humble opinion, some gay relationships can be sweeter and stronger than the "average" relationship because you know they've probably gone through a hell to be together. And, if they can survive that, then, you know that relationship is pretty damn strong. I also plan on reading the book because I want to not only get a firsthand account but see if it move me as much as the film.

[@tready77]

Thanks for sharing this guys...amazing. Amazing hearing from the cast and hearing the honesty...

[@Michael-kw8cu]

Thank you for posting this. It just adds to the uniqueness of Tim and John's story and to the beauty and greatness of the film. I could have listened forever. So glad their story came into my life.

[@kingrodriguez3095]

2020 and still the best movie out there.

[@losvengadores73]

Great movie. And it is always nice to listen about the whole process when u love movies

[@georgie3317]

OMFG I CAN'T DEAL, this film gave me such feels and Craig goddamn said he fell in love with Ryan!!! THey seriously should be together , their chemistry on and off screen is to die for!

[@andothersmallthings2917]

sadly, ryan is straight

[@kennedywaye7187]

I thought Ryan was gay and Craig was straight lol

[@kingrodriguez3095]

wait, one of the is gay? omg

[@m1keyvt]

Wow, Craig does not hold back!

[@julielast24]

Ikr he's really laying it all out there DAYUM

[@MrFersitos]

Excelent! Thankyou so much!❤️❤️❤️

[@markwalford-groom]

8 minutes in ...Craig is a powerful speaker ,,back to the q and a

[@markburguron639]

a beautiful film

[@justalejac2386]

Thank you for uploading the video!!

[@KnowTrentTimoy]

I think the primary thing I took away from the film is the recklessness of youth. I read quite a few of the reviews prior to watching it and the primary theme was the sadness (which it was) and beautiful love story (which it was) that occurred. I was more angry than I was sad in general. Obviously the more intense scenes closer to the end of the movie were heart wrenching but the moral mood of the film engrossed my thought patterns throughout the film. Definitely a good movie and it's worth the time and effort but remember it's not a "faint of heart" type of story. It's deliciously real and upfront.

[@StephDSouza]

Beautiful! ❤

[@lancomelvr]

Love the 2

[@joel4541]

i wish this was longer xD

[@Vashti_Online]

I have not heard of these true people, the novel, play but only recently this movie. As a younger/ish Australian I think this novel and work needs a new wave of publicity.

[@timothyxosullivan]

Probably the most powerful movie i have ever seen. When tim wrote the book it was an extremely important part of gay history. It showed that even 'dirty poofters' could have a lasting and loving relationship. It also showed how important marriage equality was. Marriage equality allows for gay relationships to be recognised by the state. It allows for the partners to have wills of their choosing, it allows for the partners to be recognised at funerals and to be buried together. Tim could see befor he died, that society was going to pick apart his and John's relationship. He wanted his book to be a permanent record of his and John's love. In Australia homophobia is gradually subsiding, but the work is not done yet, there are still 7 countries in the south pacific where to be gay is illegal, PNG, Solomans, cook islands, tonga, samoa, kiribati and tuvalu. This has to change.

[@Aleakwe]

💛

[@kimberlywalker3970]

Oh, about the actors, I think Ryan and Craig were great. I find it funny, like some of you, that Ryan's personality is more like John's and Craig's is more like Tim's. Anyway, I also love Craig's outspoken nature. I also think, assuming Craig is gay in real life, he has to be assertive or else he would be pushed around. And, Ryan saying he didn't experience prejudice until he decided to this film makes sense because he's part of a "protected class," something a friend said meaning, handsome, white heterosexual. So, he can afford not to be confrontational or opinionated if you're life has been made fairly easy due to your genes. I'm also pleasantly surprised that he lives here in America, so, as a fellow American, I offer a belated welcome. I've had the opportunity to visit Melbourne and Sydney, as well as London. I found what Craig said about Australia being led by bigots quite shocking and interesting because I've always felt that Australia is a mini version of America. As a non-white American, I was quite surprised how well I and my mom were treated in Australia. I found Melbourne in particular to be a very nice place to be. In Sydney, I remember a woman in a bakery asking where we were from and being shocked when I said America. I think that's due to the negative stereotypes of certain minority cultures coming from Hollywood mainly. But, the place, where I felt the most prejudice was surprisingly London. I can understand and sympathize with what Meghan and Harry had to deal with and why they left. I don't have much desire to go back except if it pertains to my future career or as a pass through on my way to Scotland. Frankly, I remember London to be an overpriced, dirty and crowded place with some very rude people. I think there's no perfect place, particularly in Western culture but, I think they all depend on the "times" and the leaders, something to think about in the future when it comes time to vote!

[@lolawhiteeagle8933]

HARWIN STRONG HOUSE OF DRAGONS

[@markwalford-groom]

25 minutes in ..bit daft but i can not stop looking at ryans right foot and craigs left both constantly pointing together ..

[@clarabasualdo5265]

Cómo activo los subtítulos en castellano?

[@josedeluna3603]

6:30

[@kadirinanrnoglu9579]

Please can anyone have English subtittle for this movie ? ı have dowloaded it but cant watch it without english subtitle

[@michaelkylow4411]

Netflix has it!!!

[@kadirinanrnoglu9579]

Michael Kylow thank you

[@nicholasgrichards]

±

[@052970]

So was the man ever released? I wasn't there.

[@htxdi3go]

Wdym? The movie was released and is on Netflix.

[@freddyydderf7513]

But what Im still trying to get.... Did they both get HIV from outside sexual activities or did one of them give the other one. Cause in the movie towards the end. Tom said "I think I just killed the one I loved" so does that mean he is the one that gave John HIV, But then again if that was the case then why did John die first. So did John Cheat first

[@Eliza7887]

In this interview Tommy Murphy (the script/screenwriter for the play and film) says something like: "it was the epidemic to blame. In 1981 nobody had ever heard of HIV/AIDS." It could be anybody, you, me. So yes, maybe it was Tim who infected John but how could he know? So it is not appropriate (to me) to blame Tim. I’m only very grateful that he wrote this terribly beautiful book (I strongly recommend you to read the book).

[@thil123456789]

I think John got HIV from a fling he had while the two were separated. That's implied in the book. However, there's also a letter from a blood donation Tim had given before that, saying the recipient developed HIV, so it not completely clear who got it first. But based on the fact John had a more progressed state of the illness in 1985, I think it was John.

[@sunrel893]

I'm still trying to figure this out since the book and film imply that Tim got it first but in Remembering the man, Beth Child is saying that ironically John, who was the faithful one got it first from that one guy with whom he had a relationship with during their separation. They did the math and came to the conclusion that it couldn't have been Tim (despite his quite adventurous time).

[@jestiny]

Tim gave it to him

[@OilFieldTrashTX]

I think at the end of the day it didn't matter.

[@samuelkartihk1541]

26:00

[@Toni-by6td]

32:41

[@operaox10]

If these two man are so profoundly in love as the film would have us believe, then why are one or both having sex with other people? True, profound romance is when you don't want anyone else other than your lover. If the answer is, "because they're all doing it" or because Tim moves away and it, therefore, becomes inconvenient to have a monogamous relationship with John (well, whatever the reason), it certainly does kill the romantic impetus of the film. The film would have us believe that Aids kills the romance, when actually the mens' choices by sleeping with others long before they get Aids does. I don't blame the men for being human, young and needing to have sex with other men, I'm only judging the behavior of the men within the context of the romantic theme of the film. The film is quite moving, emotional and profound if you can overlook this fact, and see a deeper love that transcends sex--I just question how truly romantic it is. To me the greatest sadness in the film comes not by learning that they are HIV positive, but by realizing how they must have got that way--by sleeping with other men. But, of course, if they were truly enough for each other, then we wouldn't have a film at all.

[@bosiewilder4945]

Roger, these are very valid points.

[@johnhiggins9471]

OMG, if only we could all be as pure and perfect as you, GET REAL, YOU'VE NO IDEA OF THE CONCEPT OF FORGIVENESS AND SOUND TOTALLY HUNG UP ABOUT SEX.

[@bosiewilder4945]

@@johnhiggins9471 John, you sound very angry about us having a different opinion from you.

[@blackalien6873]

You have a misunderstanding about what love actually is. I don't know if you've read the book. But you don't take care of someone the way Tim took care of John without there being a profound love there. That's a different sort of love to sexual fidelity. I used to hold your opinion but the book, Holding the Man changed my POV. However, you have a right to think that sexual fidelity equals love. To each his own.

[@nickxiao6126]

What a judgement to make. Perhaps in a soap opera or romcom, your point of sex contradicting romance works. But for a drama of realism based on a true story, it only shows how true these human beings are. Another thing is, the movie doesn't tell the story perfectly, as many details are omitted due to the various constraints. I find certain transitions in the storyline a bit clunky and lacking strong enough motives. Perhaps a similar sense of contradiction as you were feeling. However, it did not have this problem in the book. Although read it 8 years ago, I still feel vividly struck by how personal, relatable, and realistically confronting the recount was, even though at times not always eloquent. So, from my vague memory of reading the book, Tim and John grew apart as they were pursuing very different careers and started seeing different people. With the 80s being such a sexually revolutionary era, it is understandable as young gays, they would go on having a lot of sex. Although Tim was definitely much more out there than John by his own account. Then, after a period of exploring, Tim felt very empty and meaningless. He talked to an old friend or teacher and realised it was with John where he felt true love and meaning. He then reached out to John. They met again and started living happily together in Sydney only soon to find out that they were HIV positive. Quite a tragic development. Sex, animalistic desires are part of our biological self, while the ideal of love, although stemming from the animalistic longing, is constructed in our cultural and conscious self. They don't always match well perfectly as one is educated to believe. Nature makes us wanting to spread and diversify our genes, and thus producing in our body the sexual desire for different people. Meanwhile, as sentient beings, we long for love, companionship and devotion. We are all living paradoxes, who are full of contradictions. That's the beauty of being alive but also what breeds pain and sometimes, tragedy.