Miscast Monologues: Lt. Columbo Auditions For Quint In Jaws

TV's favorite retifist (it's okay, look it up, we'll wait) reveals more about his personal life than ever before! It might just be to curry favor with the casting director, but either way, it's a good argument for Columbo to host his own "Real Lives" TV show. Although, we're not buying him as Quint.
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[@charliehustle5827]

Columbo drives the Colum-boat!

[@apocalypsetedium]

If I had a boat, I now know what to name it.

[@pitchforkparty]

Not on a lieutenant's salary!

[@richardfaymonville7449]

Funny! I'm gonna use that! "Honey, it's a 3-barrel night!"

[@charliehustle5827]

I used to say that! But it meant something else in my youth.

[@richardfaymonville7449]

@@charliehustle5827 Yes! Now I'm lucky to have a 6 oz. night.

[@apocalypsetedium]

@@richardfaymonville7449 I am gonna have 2 oz. and hit the hay!

[@apocalypsetedium]

Columbo inspires great lines!

[@apocalypsetedium]

@@charliehustle5827 Not sure what the kids would say today. So long as they are over 21.

[@charliehustle5827]

I envy their marriage. But I can't believe for a second he'd be caught dead with uncomfortable shoes.

[@richardfaymonville7449]

Agreed! The man knows shoes. If he knew he was going to the boardwalk, he would make sure to wear something comfortable.

[@apocalypsetedium]

@@richardfaymonville7449 Columbo thought it would be a quick after-dinner walk, then right back to the hotel room. He didn't anticipate the missus and the Dom.

[@pitchforkparty]

@@apocalypsetedium He shoulda had an extra pair in his pockets. He's always prepared.