[MM4A] Not in Front of Dinner, Darling: Captured by Two Bickering Vampires [Dark Comedy] [Audio RP]

[@oliviareyes1010]

I just know dang well that the VA's were practically laughing, giggling, and kicking their feet while recording this

[@EscapedAudios]

I'm posting the behind the scenes on Patreon soon lmao, we were giggling throughout and adding tons of improv to the script.

[@treats4chewie704]

"This one is ugly. Bring me a new one." Wow thanks, I appreciate being too ugly to feed on

[@RazzleDazzle_13]

4:29 "Yes, yes, we know, you're *gay*" *scoff* "I don't hate women because I'm gay, I hate them because I'm a *misogynist!*" PLEASEEEEE I AM HOWLING WTF

[@XxLovelySofiaxX]

😂😂

[@AtonalASMR]

“ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY?!?!?!” I fucking LOST IT every time lmfaooooo. Thank you again for having me. I’m so happy to be the ~hottest~ ex 🙇

[@EscapedAudios]

I wouldn't dream of making a gay vampire audio and NOT have you in it.

[@Demi_Sukimata]

I went further than six feet at that one 🤣

[@CorbinButler-or9xc]

@@Demi_Sukimata

[@axgelrae]

They give the energy of “But pookie, you promised you wouldn’t hurt them🥺“ “Not here kitten whiskers. Daddy will discuss it later😤“

[@sparklepugtea]

If I wasn’t wheezing already I now need my inhaler 😭😭💀

[@stxph.artist]

listener just casually plotting while these two were bickering 😭

[@vcutler4735]

I imagine listener is both trying hard to escape but also to not laugh. New difficulty level: stealth escape but there is toxic yaoi next to you and you can't laugh.

[@Lottie-i5d]

Help can we book these two into couple therapy 😭

[@EscapedAudios]

"I killed my therapist, darling"

[@Lottie-i5d]

@@EscapedAudios why am I like not surprised like word

[@Zarandria]

These two are beyond therapy😂😂😂

[@Emy_yumz]

The Vampires: *Drama, bickering, love* Listener: This is a free movie if only I had popcorn and not tied up

[@captainsy-cookiemonster]

Dinner the whole time: 👁️👄👁️ God, they're so obnoxious i love them 😭😭😭😂😂

[@redraccoon2683]

Poor Baxter. The collective groan and "typical bottom" got me 🤣🤣🤣

[@oboi_its_me3669]

“Rrravage me! Ravage me Edmond!” I CANNOT🤣! This was all just so perfect, I don’t see how you got even one clean take from this

[@EscapedAudios]

We broke down laughing in the studio multiple times haha. The part where Edmond says "oh you whore!" was improvised and I cracked so hard that we had to take a break before recording the second take.

[@zoe.r.4544]

At this point dinner needs popcorn "Dandy boy." "DANDY BOY!?"

[@zoe.r.4544]

Seriously this was brilliantly funny

[@piffny6666]

Toxic yaoi my beloved Edit* this is what lestat and louils would have turned into if theyd never met Claudia

[@dylanchouinard6141]

Sequel where these two get a Claudia

[@piffny6666]

​@@dylanchouinard6141 plot twist the listener comes back and becomes their Claudia

[@shrimpisoffthemenu7922]

170??? Bros throwing his ass out like a public restroom?? Like SHIT This was hella fucking funny, loved it!

[@piffny6666]

Not even laying pipe at that point it's laying infostructure

[@zanamusic322]

"Save your tears gay boy" got me rolling 😂

[@itsargyle]

I fucking hate them 😭 They're my favorite, I love them, I'm not even 30 seconds in HELP

[@crystalmoonlight1154]

Nah same 😭

[@SweetAngelAudios]

I am hollering and crying with laughter from this audio. This is comedy gold. 10/10 script writing and 10/10 voice acting.

[@EscapedAudios]

Thank you!!!

[@espressodepresso1330]

they’re so fucking catty and dramatic i love them 0:32 OH MY GOD 2:47 WHAT THE FUCK AYO 4:24 “a woman..?” 5:27 This is amazing i love them so much 6:16 (i was just screaming) 6:35 “I ATE MY GRANDMA!”

[@Cement_eater01]

When I saw the first post about them, I thought. 'Ooo new love interests' Nope just Edmond and Cervantes. Its freaking gold to.

[@JynxAudios]

4:34 absolute mood. Me and my friend love how Edmond went “Yes we know you’re gay” it reminds us that we are too lmfao 🤣

[@masonthegrimreaper8745]

The poor human on the table trying their hardest not to laugh to keep in character must be hilarious

[@dreamingdragon2455]

Sorry but I can’t help but picture Alfonso and his listener sneaking in to save “dinner” and just winding up watching the drama unfold until “dinner escapes.

[@EscapedAudios]

"Wait no, mi amor, don't shoot. The tea is too hot."

[@dreamingdragon2455]

@@EscapedAudios oh don’t worry I wasn’t planning to, I want to watch this to just wishing we had some popcorn. You better not blow our cover by laughing (proceeds to cover both mouths at the 170 drop).

[@EscapedAudios]

"Dios mio... one hundred and seventy?"

[@akira_nakaya9452]

"Save your tears GAY BOY!" this was funny😂

[@crispy8436]

*Drama with Baxter happens “Damn that’s kinda sad” 🍿🍿🍿 This audio was absolutely hilarious, we need more of this

[@_bxnes_]

As the dinner, I am fully entertained 😭 There is far too many funny parts for me to even think of talking about. (Also poor Baxter 😭)

[@RENYUZUKI]

I can just imagine the listener just sitting there and watching and listening all of this casually going down while trying to hold in their laughter

[@nk_cresentmoon]

THE ACCENTS IM CACKLING (EDIT) dad and papa and baxter

[@puffin-talks-alot]

This is the best kidnapping I've ever attended

[@your.weird.roomie2286]

My reactions while listening bc I can't keep quiet 😊😊 1:16 DRAMAAA????? 😮😮 1:39 Hey guys! I'm still in the room by the way! ^^ (the switch up is crazy) 1:55 I wanna study how their minds works tbh it's so confusing 3:05 Let's keep what happens in the bedroom in the bedroom okay gang ^^!! 4:24 "A-a WOMAN???" I'm offended what are you? A sexist and a misogynist?? (Foreshadowing) 5:14 "170!" HOW 6:15 BRO ATE HIM UPPP 14:07 GET A ROOM PLS I DONT WANNA BE HERE

[@headphone.spirit]

Never in my life did i order gay vampires with the dynamic of a old pissed off married couple. Im not complaining though

[@devilsmind5564]

"TIE HIM TO THE CUCK CHAIR" IM SCREAMING!!

[@themuffinman4385]

they’re pathetic i love them

[@emily_mc65]

I can tell for a fact this was probably fucking hilarious to record 😂 like bro "A HUNDRED AND SEVENTY?!"

[@Poopy_loop]

I feel bad for listener more for listening to these men Listener on the chair or table:👁👄👁🍿

[@CinderFalls]

I'm telling my kids this was the plot for Twilight

[@piffny6666]

A Toxic gay serial cheating vampire couple...and it's still a better love story than twilight

[@WateverWatever04]

They are _horrible_ I love them so much

[@apdofficer2104]

I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!!! even though vampires are class teeth reproduction organ neck-romancers... i love it. Picasso APD APPROVED fun fact: Whales don't die from old age they just lose the strength to pull them selves up for air and slowly sink and drown and drown UNTILL WEEE MEEET AGAIN

[@xxshady-zonexx2478]

I love how this went on for 17 minutes 😭

[@VardicAnna]

Me in the victim chair, eating popcorn.

[@kimguerra5515]

It literally is taking everything in me not to laugh at the dramatic accents and their phrases. I almost lose it every time I hear "Rravage me" or "170!!??" The worst thing is that I listen to it while I'm at work. Wish me luck 😅😂😂

[@sidhatter252]

I wanted to fall asleep, but I kept waking up giggling. This is literally too funny

[@SagaAlghoto]

13:11 save you tears gay boy! 😂😂😂😂

[@savylynn8977]

I literally just got that part when you commented 😂

[@Mokohotcoco]

I rlly want the bloopers 😂😂

[@EscapedAudios]

They're on my Patreon lol

[@Lxura_17]

The listener sat their with popcorn 🍿

[@Cynscoree]

They’re so sassy I love it Edit: “170?!?” Is crazy😂 though what the fuck am I supposed to do listening to these two flirt and arguing

[@nisacx28]

I kept on laughing my ass off this is a masterpiece 😭😭 how often did yall laugh while making this 😭‼️

[@EscapedAudios]

We were in the studio giggling nonstop

[@nisacx28]

@@EscapedAudiosi can mentally see the hand movements 😭

[@VITAE_Z]

I laughed too damn much-- The ball gag part had me CACKLING I was just imagining being tied to the chair and watching those two like it's a sitcom or something- AMAZING WOOOORRRK!!!!!!

[@CinderFalls]

"oH ssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhOVE IT" This is how dramatic I am

[@blue_muffins-cf3dw]

Listener really into this drama😭

[@Sttarrmann]

im wheezing so much rn vampires arent cool, GAY VAMPIRES HOWEVER. FUKCING HILARIOUSSSSS WHAT AM I LISTENING TO THIS IS TOO PERFECT

[@n.c.pictures]

PLEASE make this a series, the banter is glorious Just saw the community post LET'S GOOOOO

[@holdencooper1984]

This was so much fun to do, I absolutely love how it turned out

[@EscapedAudios]

Thanks for coming on! I'm down for round two whenever you are 😙

[@holdencooper1984]

@@EscapedAudios 100% down for the next one, making this was an absolute riot

[@Sigmatosigm]

Theyre so unhinged I wonder how long this took bts bc it would be so hard to be serious props to the Va’s. I was laughing during the whole video 😭

[@vanessar.6085]

Just know I've watched this more times than I can count. And I laugh so hard every time.

[@DaxH-or4xm]

I have passed, exited, unexisted, left the chat, unlivent. Good work dude, I need more of these guys for my mental health pronto!

[@HereForTheDrama-xi3vl]

This is what they call art I literally was laughing my ass off thank you for this😭😭

[@selina_1455]

I never laughted so much over one video my stomach hurts.😭😃🤚 I Love this.

[@XxLovelySofiaxX]

Why can't I stop laughing? Love this audio and oh, the drama 🤣 I'm sure the VA's must be laughing way hard during behind the scenes

[@Ech0Here]

I swear i had to pause almost every 2 seconds because i was laughing so much, almost fell off my chair. This is absolute comedy gold

[@yn-ic9sj]

I NEED them in a few episodes of what we do in the shadows!!! 😫😫❤ marriage goals 🌹💅❤

[@3am_energy]

Him: 170?!?!?? Me: trying not to laugh in class

[@Ashleythingzzz]

Ik I’m dinner but I wasn’t expecting dinner and a show 😅

[@jasprrr.jpeggg]

What We Do in the Shadows core

[@LASTly_Art]

Hahaha, poor Baxter😅😂. But I love the accents of the two very much. Just the whole dialogue between Cervantes and Edmond is gold. I couldn't stop laughing the whole time!

[@rivalthegrey7.562]

I want this as a fucking comedy skit

[@rivalthegrey7.562]

I want to remake this as a comedy skirt if that’s okay this has a good opportunity to be live action

[@ClementineTheMoth]

Them: 3:30 Me sitting there tied up: 😐…😑…😐…

[@myrxn]

I'm so confused with this bipolar couple bqhahhahahsbbssbs

[@Anthony_bora]

they fight like nadja and lazlo from what we do in the shadows

[@vanessar.6085]

I WAS JUST THINKING THIS! Sounds like a lost episode LMAO

[@tisibiaedeakamatsu]

i was going to put this on for background noise but i cant stop fucking laughing 😭😭😭

[@Ixeli-lw8yn]

Those two need serious couples therapy- 😭

[@Ixeli-lw8yn]

Oh here are the timestamps of my fav parts bc why not 😭 0:30 Lapse in judgment is crazy 😭 1:16 “I thought we put him behind us!”had me dead frl 😭😭 3:37 “A BORE, A BORE, ME A BOREEEE???” 4:33 Admitting to being sexist out loud on this platform?? Bold 😭 5:13 170?? HOW TF 5:48 Definitely a dandy boy 7:03 Damn why did he js at it so aggressively- 9:48-9:56 Bro is definitely a weeb ☠️ 10:54 WAIT WHAT 11:11 “shove it where?”☠️😭 13:23 “Get in line” that’s WILD bro 15:03 Dumb 🤦🏽‍♀️ 16:07 R.I.P Baxter 😭😭😭 16:20 Edmond be SO FR

[@Tinclash365]

This is dramatic comedy gold

[@dylanchouinard6141]

Mom can we have Louis and Lestat? We have Louis and Lestat at home. The Louis and Lestat at home:

[@Sillylilmans]

I am hollering bro😭 this was so beautiful, always have the best audio’s escaped

[@Mendoza-zg9nw]

Me as listener: i can’t believe i get to remember all this during my last moments….. so glad they let me live long enough to see the drama 🤭( i made sure to remember their faces……for safety reasons ✌️)

[@_Alxxy_]

I fell off my bed while listening to this because I was laughing so much 🥰

[@lucalukka6000]

O.M.G- I abseloutly LOVE these two! They're just SO GAY!

[@Twisted_ArtNerd]

Piv:me and my (fake) wife in class

[@MargarettPorritt]

It's so goofy and weird. Well done 😂

[@kalaniadair1359]

This is so fucking funny and I don't know why. Also do they remind anyone else of stolas and blitz? A little bit?

[@finderskeepers3525]

oh my god, one of best ive ever listened to this is going right to the TOP of the list 🙏

[@Your_Pa1]

GOBSMACKED!! FREAKING LOVE THIS!! THANKING YOU KINDLY!!

[@Sle3pyH3ad_4L]

WELP I WASNT EXPECTING THIS 10/10 IM DYING

[@CatKit-lf5yo]

the terrible astarion impressions are killing me

[@EscapedAudios]

It's not an Astarion impression lmao. I'd be lying if I said Asterion didn't influence them but they're supposed to sound a little more like a vampire version of Dr Frank N Furter.

[@CatKit-lf5yo]

@@EscapedAudios ooo that makes sense- apparently some of astarion's vocal traits were inspired from frank n furter so that must have been what i was hearing lmao- 10/10 video

[@luvl3yt1ts]

Idk how much I've rewatched this. But this... Always reminds me of my friend and I

[@Ember5236]

Them:*arguing* Me:*laughing* do you two need couple counseling?😂

[@Madiethesimp]

this is better than the video of escaped acting like other asmr artists

[@DaniellePaja]

Two minutes in and I already can't BREATH

[@kyanma9626]

i’m literally having the time of my life listening to this audio

[@Star_light667]

I constantly had the thought of "should I be here am i interrupting something i feel like I'm interrupting something" ALSO THE WOMAN COMMENTS GOT ME HOWLING (ironic how a woman finds misogyny jokes funny)

[@snowflakes9311]

one would almost consider to work for them, just to keep watching this soap opera of a relationship this is fuking hilarious😂

[@melody-526]

WOOOHOOO IT'S HERE IT'S FINALLY HERE

[@señorita_katy22]

didn't expect this, but it was so good and silly whimsical👌🏻

[@BirbPrincess]

THIS IS SUCH A BANGER!!!!!! AMAZING WORK TO ALL INVOLVED :DD

[@1Katakana]

"Recommend me a book, and I'll read it". The Hungry Caterpillar? ......No, wait. ("Hey, did we order our dinner to go?" No. Why?" "Cause there it goes"😛) 😛

[@devorinko72]

If I was the listener I will be like: **eating popcorn while I'm watching them** 👁👄👁🍿 yeeeessss queen 👑 periooood 💅🏼💅🏼 give me more gossip

[@myrxn]

Lol this reminds me of "what we do in the shadow" typa context lol

[@Ember5236]

Omg i don't know why i think this is so funny 😂

[@gintygaz493]

im so obsessed with this but at the same time if I was here I’d hit my head to knock myself out bc they’re so insufferable :3

[@Trax_z]

i need more of them oh my god, i was laughing my ass off listening to this jesus christ fjekkfjdjsofoif

[@Trax_z]

they are so unbelievably sassy, bipolar, and dramatic its so funny