Mock The Week: Milton Jones Scenes We'd Like To See

[@maggiemassey5452]

He is absolutely brilliant, no need for filth just super comedy.

[@davidyoung5114]

I would love to see Milton on TASKMASTER! He'd have the Taskmaster, the other contestants, and the audience in stitches all the time!

[@adampeckitt2391]

He'd be carnage 🤣

[@AngelicusImmortus]

Dara O’Brien once said that Milton is the most edited guy on there as his lines cause the others to laugh so much they have to edit out chunks of time where it’s just the audience and the other comedians giggling like kids.

[@malcolmjohnston7873]

That I could well imagine. He has me in stitches!

[@angelinecheongyw2352]

@@malcolmjohnston7873 Mnnmbnmmh HD

[@ifyoureadthisyoudi]

Is there a link to an interview where Dara said this?

[@mauricedorreboom5388]

I remember those "Lighthouse Keeper" jokes he did ... those had everybody roaring.

[@AngelicusImmortus]

He is the current genius of one line, absurd, surreal comedy. It does take a special talent to come up with that stuff and ignore the generic stuff others come out with. No knob gags, no easy lines, just pure “weird” stuff.

[@StanleypeterDickinson]

It doesn't work for me. I'm retired and my bike was stollen outside the cake shop

[@kvn4714]

"How's your lucky pencil case now" 😂

[@abbaslegend9214]

7:06 😂😂

[@changvasejarik62]

To ye more mathetically minded reading this. Was that a legit question/ question fragment?

[@ElegantSpud]

I about soiled my dungarees the first time I saw that one. Still cracks me up every time I see it. Brilliant.

[@magneticman245]

​@@changvasejarik62 it doesn't make much sense to be honest, it's just a lot of math-sounding words put together to sound intimidating.

[@jimothy1967]

The one comedian whose line you can’t wait for! Genius.

[@donmontague4107]

Oh my. The fricking LEVEL that he's consistently delivering these lines at! That's superb. And for most/all of them to be clean jokes, that's what the best are made of.

[@TheUntitled100]

"Look! An ancient African city!" "From the makers of Timbuk One..."

[@RitchieLion]

"It looks like a runner bean, only smaller" "From the makers of Mange One..."

[@bashirlone624]

Is it a part of a trilogy...

[@terranceparsons5185]

​@@bashirlone624the third one was from the makers of Cocka One.

[@invaderzim7890]

Would have been better if you put the topic up before Milton's bit.

[@kenmannagh7788]

Clean as a whistle and the best because of it ....genius Milton rave on .

[@plugh1]

Miltons miind works in strange but hilarious ways. Genius

[@3QuaNiMiTyy]

He's certainly unique. Some real absurdist type stuff at points.

[@katherinewolfe]

"I am the Messiah - and the Queen is a biscuit!" and then swimming off the stage is the weirdest, funniest thing I've seen since Robin Williams died.

[@applejuice5272]

@@katherinewolfe "I think that was a floating voter."

[@jeanmichellelaurent]

Like he's not an edgy low brow comedian but I love his goofy British wit

[@kippertrace5808]

​@@katherinewolfeRobin williams dying wasn't funny😮 😅😅

[@simonbiggs9102]

Can listen to him day and night.

[@isabella-cg1co]

You missed out. “Anyone can cook this. You can’t Beatrice. Sorry you can’t beat rice” and “Ve in ze german city of cologne haf a fragrance called Birmingham” but the ones you included are AMAZING

[@kylestubbs8867]

This is part 1. Check the others.

[@johnsupernaw7290]

"You can't beat rice" is one of the absolute best jokes I have ever heard in my entire 54 years. That one isn't gold - its platinum.

[@VinnySlouth]

@@johnsupernaw7290 According to the latest list I'd say 3 tons of Rhodium, and his befuddled walk off clinches it! Rhodium (Rh) - $15,250/troy ounce. Iridium (Ir) - $4,750/troy ounce. Palladium (Pd) - $2,027/troy ounce. Gold (Au) - $1,723.55/troy ounce. Platinum - $889/troy ounce.

[@kennyhagan5781]

This guy does it without using a lot of cursing and innuendos. He is brilliant.... and those shirts, the British should consider his wardrobe a national treasure. 🏆

[@maccajft96ynwa97]

Hi my names sue barker, you may remember my dad, chew barker what a joke what a comedian.

[@ukdavepianoman]

Absolute genius. I love the train joke...I know a short cut.

[@rustkarl]

Ahhh Milton. The strangest source of laughs I have had the pleasure of being immensely amused by.

[@nedim_guitar]

I would love to see this man in a star role in a movie!

[@RossHall-UK]

He's done some Radio 4 shows worth looking out for. 30 minute adventures which are as batty as you can imagine.

[@nedim_guitar]

@@RossHall-UK Thanks!

[@changvasejarik62]

If there must be a Loki season 3 I want to see Milton play a variant.

[@georgenewman7179]

I love the lighthouse trilogy, absolutely brilliant.

[@paulcrombie9623]

I love Milton, he is the best, so funny!

[@RIXRADvidz]

He really brings out my Roaring Laughter

[@aaroncurtis8768]

Watching this guy made me laugh so hard i nearly peed myself.absolute genius he is with his one limer jokes

[@markt1387]

Milton's a genius and love the occasional really dark jokes that really catches you off guard.

[@nostalgiaof98]

His style is very old school like Marty Feldman or such. Very witty and unique. I wonder what the show would've been like if Eric Morcambe or John Cleese was on

[@eamonquinn5188]

I think the luggagy sushi is maybe my favourite ever joke!

[@noeldarby1635]

My fave is stew francis......'when I was a cop I worked undercover as a pimp,a punter wanted a 3some with menstruating woman......so I err pulled a few strings ' belter !!

[@MagiTailWelkin]

1:35 I am almost certain, that was a floating voter.

[@OldGravy2005]

They shouldn’t have cut that out!

[@j-simmo1881]

Him and Gary Delaney are the best

[@kennyhagan5781]

How is it possible that this man isn't a huge star? He is the reason that I started watching the show.

[@georgelamb1236]

He's a bloody genius!

[@jeanniehelliwell1599]

Oy Milton leave Aussies alone! 🤣🤣🇦🇺🥰

[@donmontague4107]

Isn't it the Aussies who should leave us alone... the point is there are bloody masses of them - most of whom compete with the natives in the service industry.

[@HundertTausand]

Ozzy Ozzy Ozzy!!!

[@barrywallace2744]

I really think you should of left in Hugh's retort to Milton's The queen is a biscuit joke.

[@toucheturtle...6547]

Floating voter

[@crazyman8472]

@@toucheturtle...6547 Even Milton laughed at that one! 😜

[@changvasejarik62]

Probably should have the magic biscuit tree lines as well.

[@oludotunjohnshowemimo434]

Simple one liners but yet funny. Milton is so quick whitted.

[@CatGirlClare]

Just love - Baby tennis umpires sitting in their highchairs, shouting Deuce, deuce!!

[@FaceInTheCrowd]

2:54 🤣 I really shouldn't watch Mock The Week while eating breakfast!

[@dez3540]

The Dalmations one was absolute savage lmao

[@iim4xii129]

Fuckin chav

[@jestermoon]

A genius who got me where I am today. Does anybody know where I am?

[@HarryNicNicholas]

"they taste luggagey" lolol.

[@KevinNerfs]

1:38 It’s too bad you cut out Hugh’s response because it was the perfect complement to Milton’s joke.

[@davidjohnmcclements7455]

I used to drink strongbow with my mate dave and he was killed by an arrow 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@ALostExplorer]

The moment I heard that ‘they say criminals always return to the scene of the crime’ joke, I knew we were off to the races. Easily one my favorite contestants on MTW

[@camerondempster4147]

I pity the other comedians. Not matter how good their jokes are It's tough keeping up with the Jones's.

[@toucheturtle...6547]

Ed Byrne said exactly that....

[@jackevans1318]

I love the joke about how he lost control of a bus 🤣

[@MrZee48]

Milton the Great

[@erinobrien8408]

Milton's 🎶 destiny is to be the King of Pun! 🎶

[@noir-214]

"Look an ancient African city from the makers of Timbuk one...."😂😂😂

[@steven9562]

Psml every time I watch milton

[@Spitfyre1011]

4:50 i love how it abruptly cuts off Andy Parsons

[@daruddock]

Should be the standard for every show

[@crazyman8472]

4:52 “This is Fox News…” Oh, if only it was. 😜

[@Shmiguelly]

11:33 Hi Josh

[@flavoredchin]

4:52 An age old question, finally put to rest.

[@kylestubbs8867]

Brilliant.

[@nedlongdon8607]

MEN 3:55

[@Maximillian-Tiberius-Rex]

turn the lights out she said.. what about the boats said the lighthouse keeper

[@ElegantSpud]

That whole run of lighthouse jokes was utterly brilliant. His delivery is so perfect.

[@VinnySlouth]

DNA is in his humor because, Humor is in his DNA, which isn't easy with letters like ACGT.

[@javeedsultan8484]

The man is genius, on par with Steven Wright and Emo Philips

[@emporioalnino4670]

Welcome to the bakery

[@Master_Petes_Theater]

One of his funniest lines! 👍🏻😂

[@spudwesth]

Milton went to the store to buy some Beyond Meat. He found out that the cows were from Alpha Centauri.

[@Laudon1228]

Is that a terrible flan or a really good quiche?

[@wonderwend1]

I want to see his shirt collection

[@pauldockree9915]

(Lighthouse in the tempest question mark) DNA!

[@dillonjohn8549]

People like Milton Jones and Tim Vine are proof that swearing doesn't always equal funny.

[@mrbenoit5018]

8:20 why’s he so fast

[@lgba384]

A biscuit 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@lloydgriffiths1847]

the umpire high chair joke was the biggest brain joke I’ve heard

[@bcowan1943]

Love him🤣🖖

[@BigBoris]

Weird humour, I love it.

[@IamKlaus007]

Tricky, isn't it, when you're the captain of a ship and a moth. You see a lighthouse. You know you shouldn't, BUT.....

[@RighteousPursuitMinistries]

Well the Kiev joke sure hasn't aged well

[@bip3937]

Pencil case joke?

[@JB-vq6xv]

13:00

[@robertrickwood8896]

The dna joke is 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@weebrianful]

Genius

[@JB-vq6xv]

3:56

[@heli-crewhgs5285]

It was so good to see Russell Howard….. say nothing!

[@davesmith9325]

Even better we didnt see nish kumar at all

[@atifmanzoor63]

Milton reminds of of Lionel Messi

[@koleberdinoch926]

Lots of commenters are pleased there's no swearing or filth. Milton is hilarious but so is Jimmy Carr. Filth CAN be funny.

[@JamesSullivan-c8f]

"Women divers" 😆😆😆

[@paperchain1239]

Milton would be a really cool guy to be married to.....

[@janel342]

Only if you wear shades at breakfast

[@michaelangus5602]

WeLcOmE To ThE BaKeRy

[@amanekabbaj]

What was the sushi one? It was a bit muffled

[@jamessteers4214]

Sushi is served on a moving conveyor belt in sushi restaurants. The luggage reclaim at airports also has moving conveyor belts. The guy mistook the baggage reclaim for the sushi conveyor belt.

[@ChallengeCommander]

It certainly was a slow burner for Dara

[@paulshubsachs4977]

@@ChallengeCommander .....but, if you knew sushi like I know sushi....

[@tomharrison1849]

Can anyone explain the sausage joke?

[@changvasejarik62]

10:13 it involves a sausage mascot from Lincolnshire used in the Olympics that looks like Dara.

[@JB-vq6xv]

12:22

[@crashingdown6924]

Waiting for first jenny joke...

[@pauldockree9915]

What's the bleedin' time? 11 minutes 40 Seconds was booked. This s light wee Kari never goes out.

[@changvasejarik62]

Frankie may have been the best, but Milton got just as many if not more laughs out of me with his absurd humor. I nominate him to be next cyberman king.

[@highdownmartin]

Not bad at accents either

[@mistyj9578]

pml lol omg ... x hahaha

[@malcolmdale9607]

Other "comedians" should learn that you don't have to be obscene to be funny.

[@tweedlio2763]

8:13 yhey do taste like a??

[@littlehopeleft]

"Luggagy" - like a luggage

[@xSyresi]

H

[@ZATennisFan]

Only one objection. Steffi Graf didn’t have huge biceps🤣🤣In fact she had one of the best bodies I’ve ever seen especially the legs….

[@edwardkinsey5680]

First

[@beeble2003]

Wow, that New Orleans joke was in spectacularly bad taste. But the rest was amazing, as always.

[@ebola1974]

I loved him on MTW, so went to see him live. Awful. Worst stand up I’ve seen

[@ElegantSpud]

What was bad about it?

[@ebola1974]

@@ElegantSpud A lot of the jokes were ones he had said before on MTW, so obviously his jokes on that were not thought up on the spot and the standup routine just didn't seem to flow. I was really disappointed and so was the wife as we found him to be really funny on MTW

[@rootpotato]

Milton Jones gives me the creeps . . . It's only a matter of time before everyone finds out what he's done!

[@Master_Petes_Theater]

Do you care to elaborate? 🙄

[@ElegantSpud]

No one does surreal humor like Milton. The guy is a comic genius. I wonder what his dreams are like.