Modesty vs. Vanity: Do We Have the Message Backwards?

Episode 243 of the Bare Marriage podcast: The evangelical church spends a lot of time giving modesty messages to girls. But we hardly ever talk about vanity--even though the Bible condemns it. Could it be that in all our talk about modesty, we're inadvertently promoting vanity? And perhaps we can't call out vanity, because our messages to boys essentially enable vanity. Join Rebecca and Sheila as we hash this one out!
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THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST:
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Our podcast looking at the long-term effects of the modesty message: baremarriage.c...
Why is Dannah Gresh calling 8-year-old bellies intoxicating?:
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Our one-sheet on Lies Young Women Believe
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The reel from Our Savior's Church:
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The side-by-side plagiarized apology from Josh Howerton
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[@kathy3178]

This discussion reminds me of my neighbors' church. They believe women shouldn't wear makeup and jewelry is vein. Yet, they will spend hours on their hair and outfits. This church does nothing in the community. It is all about looks. They can't understand why people are leaving.

[@amandamooij2090]

I have had so many of these experiences, I am really relating to a lot of your podcasts. I grew up in a Independant Fundamental Baptist Church in Ontario Canada from ages 17-39 Lots of stories and deep hurt including having to dissolve the church after 22 years.

[@user-xq8bb3wx5f]

"It is objectively true that I am not the most beautiful person in the room...most of the time..." I know what you meant, here, Sheila, but boy did the way you phrased this, and the expression on your face while you said it, crack me up!! 😂

[@vicky_la_france]

Fantastic conversation, Sheila and Rebecca! Will be thinking about this for a long while.

[@Jett-mf2dw]

Wonderful! No words, just wonderfu)!!!

[@cweditor]

OMG! I saw that cartoon and I knew about the death threats. It's so sad.

[@melaniecave1256]

Vanity definitely comes in forms outside of appearance. I work with someone who can't stop telling people she went to Brown. My husband has a friend who used to ask him what he was driving every time they reconnected (before social media).

[@user-gf9sm7oc6k]

Incredible conversation.

[@RachelQuinonez]

I’ve never heard more advertising for supplements claiming to slim you down, or procedures designed to make you look your best, than on Christian radio channels. Almost always aimed at women. I love the Lord and this has always annoyed me. There is a truly unholy emphasis on looks and appearance of women. Praise God my husband isn’t one who believes his wife has to maintain a svelte body and youthful appearance to stay appealing to him. He values me as a person and partner.

[@OOool]

I would argue that the subjectivity you identify in vanity, that is subject to cultural differences, personal preferences, personal needs and limitations, etc., is exactly the same as it is for true modesty. Modesty will depend on your body type, it will depend on the wider cultural norms for what is seen as normative and what is exhibitionist, and it should be seen as a a more nebulous determination to make.

[@jrbontje2415]

This is so true...I enjoyed listening. Thanks

[@Jett-mf2dw]

Ive. Been modest my whole life, .. hasnt served me AT All! Im 50 now, have no sex life with hubby! Chuck mondeaty in marrage!!

[@lisajohnson4744]

“The boobiest boobs of all the boobs” 😂😂😂