Mommy’s Giant Melons

[@bbysiea]

love your vids! always show my friends lmao, you make them so much funnier by reading it in a serious voice. welcome back btw!

[@iTomFoolery]

Very kind of you to say, thank you! :)

[@Foxtrot_Kenji]

@@iTomFoolery ngl what made the author think of this as a book?

[@iTomFoolery]

@@Foxtrot_Kenji it’s clearly a Dirty Dancing homage to Baby carrying watermelons ;)

[@iTomFoolery]

@Gastric you are extremely kind to say such nice things, we thank you 😊

[@elliotthefennekin6506]

These videos are even funnier when you get heavily drunk like I do, may go for either another one of my Mike's hard lemonades or my strong as fuck sour beers and watch another 😂😂😂

[@hhgff778]

Oh, I like how they also teach kids who accidentally got this for Christmas to not stare at melons in public.

[@dannyboy3435]

That's probably the purpose XD

[@cherrycabin]

I agree

[@cherrycabin]

@Damion Hays Hi. I'm a girl

[@The_Spinning_Pen]

same with balls lol

[@nexauu]

696 likes

[@whitedaisies9355]

“these are for hubby” 💀

[@blissღ]

yo-

[@toastedprocastinator]

*:skull:*

[@anjusingh816]

This weird sense of laughter mixed with guilt is what I'm feeling right now lmao 💀

[@johnathanvelasquez6283]

Huh what

[@HHPAYFAN2001]

🤨

[@waynetastic1746]

_"So wrapped in a shirt we were off for a stroll through Central Park - a melon patrol. Some were in shock, while some were simply gazed at the monstrous melons, they were truly amazed."_ I hate the fact that this is a completely normal sentence on its own, but my brain says otherwise. 🤣

[@Silverboa]

Oh god...this exact part played when I read this comment.

[@johnathanvelasquez6283]

Why

[@johnathanvelasquez6283]

So then why did you repeat that sentence

[@Tyeler80]

@@Silverboa *they where thrown in a sack* 🗿🗿🗿

[@misslady2639]

The older you get, the dirtier gets your mind 😂

[@ParryB-sv3bu]

Imagine if a year 1 or 2 teacher picks this up thinking it is a story book... LOL!!!!

[@ilyysm]

but the title would probably tell them otherwise

[@zayd8977]

The title says it all

[@ashary9675]

​@@ilyysmbut what if the teacher was innocent and didn't noticed

[@Web_2567]

There’s this girl, I think 2nd year at my high school. She has these huge melons. They’re so big I’d be surprised if she didn’t use GMOs.

[@prestongower7800]

hahahahaha 100% organic homegrown melons lol

[@SfindIrshAp]

@@Pebec ?

[@LOLLLLLLLSKY]

@JERKSIMULATOR 😳😏

[@Mrbeef-f2x]

Is she single give me her instagram please.

[@hcbs1986]

@@Mrbeef-f2x is this a joke

[@MikadoYuma]

Excellent job narrating, as always! Might I ask what got you into these... inappropriate, sarcastic children's books? Was there one that just got you hooked, and you searched for more? Without this channel, I'd probably never guessed books like these even existed.

[@iTomFoolery]

It all started with Brenda's Beaver, Spank the Monkey and Dee's Big Nuts about three years ago. More and more similar stories keep popping up and we continue to narrate them. Thank you for your kind comment :)

[@matttestani8105]

The real questions is who the hell created these sarcastically inappropriate children’s books?

[@fanum.skibbbb]

@@iTomFoolery nah bro "do you want to play with my balls" and "mr ball and mr nut" are my favorites

[@-Simplicity-]

Can’t wait to buy this for my kids on christmas

[@Sekiroandeldenarateensybithard]

@@iTomFoolerydees big nuts was my fav. I like the part where he busts a nut and Susie and her mom play with his nuts

[@holynootnoot]

"Her melons were HUUGEE" IM DEAD 💀💀💀😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[@Epicinver]

boobs

[@project.creativity3]

The narrator is a legend for holding laughter

[@Starlight.Fox.]

I bought this for my 13 year old son. He loved it!

[@crikisthat]

Thanks mom!

[@wotto749]

@@crikisthat what's your taste?

[@johnathanvelasquez6283]

How

[@jam-qj4if]

☠️

[@jam-qj4if]

💀

[@thelovelynobody9322]

Every family reunion my grandmother reads this to my little siblings.

[@worlds_worst_tf2_player]

No, she doesn't.

[@ExtremelyGullibleMeme]

@@worlds_worst_tf2_player how would you know

[@PitunghereTNOschizo100]

The f*ck you say!?

[@fishii8237]

Lucky

[@mentallyunstablemineral7847]

jesus christ how did you read this without laughing lmfao

[@dpnmickeythefunnividposter125]

Idk

[@tealnoise]

The narration just makes this ten times funnier 💀

[@curraheewolf]

I couldn't stop laughing when I heard this one! 😀😃😄😁😆😅😂🤣😭 My wife use to have huge melons. She always said it always hurt her back and shoulders carrying them things around. So she had an operation and now she has mangos. Of course I supported her in her decision, but I miss those melons ☹️. But, I guess a fruit is a fruit. 😆

[@iTomFoolery]

Indeed, a fruit is a fruit regardless of the size. It's how it feels in your mouth and if it's tasty and juicy... unrelated, very hungry all of a sudden ;)

[@curraheewolf]

@@iTomFoolery 😀😃😄😁😆😅😂🤣

[@Leepiecheneef]

@@iTomFoolery oh my god

[@izzyizabella]

💀

[@bloodrinker]

@@iTomFoolery HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA x)

[@FBI-A16]

Now I know why my dad loves melons.

[@jam-qj4if]

💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀☠️☠️☠️

[@victorosariemenedionwe8505]

💀💀💀

[@Annie-SupernovaSOTY]

How do you do this with a straight voice 😭✨

[@VioletBuilds322]

I'm wondering the same thing...

[@ieat_batteryacid10000]

anya u look grest

[@Annie-SupernovaSOTY]

@@ieat_batteryacid10000 I look very grest

[@ieat_batteryacid10000]

@@Annie-SupernovaSOTY Yes

[@yunfengzhou]

first about balls, now about melons.

[@TheOfficalsmolN]

Now what? Wiener dogs?

[@patrickwalker8968]

glad you're back Tom!!

[@iTomFoolery]

Thank you Patrick :)

[@MetalJuggalo]

Jokes aside, I could totally go for some watermelon right now

[@ilovescience7655]

The straight voice narration makes this even better.

[@Kuni_samisnothere]

L

[@RelicQuadrangle]

L

[@24kdarkezz47]

L

[@RelicQuadrangle]

@@24kdarkezz47 L

[@Kuni_samisnothere]

@@RelicQuadrangle L

[@aIex2022]

I - Is this an actual book? I- Sometimes I feel like the authors do this on purpose

[@david6420]

They actually do.

[@olivesttree]

Sounds like something a robot would say

[@AlexEEZ]

of course they do? why would they make her put the melons in her shirt otherwise?? 💀

[@sputnik1352]

it's a satire childrens book

[@pinkdoesstuff]

Obviously??

[@Ducky_boi.66]

"Dr. Michael sells melons, you know, by the score." Plot twist: The doctor was actually Johnny Sins

[@LigaWolf]

Lady Dimitrescu enters the chat....

[@kensekai]

i watched all your old videos with my friend late at night in a random field. we'd laugh so hard and talk about tony's nut's. you're so amazing. love ya. 👍

[@BadChessPlayer1]

I eat Tony's nuts everyday!

[@SnowytReal]

The way you read it makes it all the more uncomfortable 💀 “I could eat a peach for hours.”

[@sCrEeCh_]

“Her melons were huge…!” *”Are you talking about her brea-“*

[@mike95826]

You know Mrs. Naveree she has her own aviary, why she has the biggest pair-a-keets in town.

[@iTomFoolery]

Does she have a cockatoo?

[@mccsfR286]

@@iTomFoolery Oh shi-

[@mdswitchy378]

@@iTomFoolery depends

[@mikithebestever]

i cant- you could tell they were holding in the laugh 😂😂

[@thelittlebird218]

Ok but why is the narrators voice insanely calming

[@TrafficConeOrange]

This book didn’t make me laugh, it made me wanna eat watermelons.

[@execat.1342]

Wtf

[@TrafficConeOrange]

@@execat.1342 ah yes, eating a berry is now “wtf”. #Logic

[@Tehiguhreer]

Salt

[@justyouraverageellipsis658]

.. which one?

[@TrafficConeOrange]

@@justyouraverageellipsis658 Yknow, the big green berry that is liquidy and has seeds?

[@Walter-wo5sz]

Nothing wrong with a couple of fried eggs once in a while.

[@tedunguent156]

"Fruity little story." LMAO Bravo!

[@va.l_]

Sometimes, I believe these authors purposely make it innapropriate though it's a children's book. Plus, I can't tell if they are talking about the melons or not

[@johnathanvelasquez6283]

How

[@Rogue_Sniper]

No shit, sherlock

[@blackcatpoe4716]

Depends. How deep in the gutter are you?

[@bigm383]

Perhaps a nice story about shirt potatoes? I do love a peach. Juicy and a little furry.

[@boiiiiiiiiiiiiiii7505]

Kiwi

[@MisterMikeTexas]

That was A Nice Pair fer sure! 😁

[@ATrinibozo]

I would piss myself reading this laughing if I were you, I am proud of you reading this with a straight face.

[@gamerdudeorsomething]

1:32 THAT JUST SHOWS THAT THE WRITER/ARTIST KNEW WHAT THEY WERE DOING LOL

[@elenahaya1195]

I mean,this kind of books are quite common. "Dee's Big Nuts" or "Do you wanna play with my balls?" are other books with the same sence of humor

[@aqilhail9063]

The fact that's they made a doctor sell the melons 💀

[@saints_row_cat]

Melon enlargement doctor

[@yobro5636]

@@saints_row_cat nah💀

[@Kat-ry9kq]

Dude the author knew what he was doing

[@howardhamlin2683]

I listened to the whole story without even realising

[@magentive3968]

dude wtf its like 2am and my volume suddenly turns up to max and just "giant melons"

[@tomatoboi1-inf]

XD

[@Mike_-_2]

Just looking at the title without context. Killed me💀💀🤨🤣🤣🤣

[@ArtturiTurunen]

I just love how you just start to talk about sweater pillows in the end 🤣

[@average-hu5si]

MAMMA GETTIN THE MEN WITH DIS ONE 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣

[@boop9430]

Bro is the narrator a guy or a girl, I genuinely can’t tell, either way they’re great at narrating and definitely adds to the humor element of the story

[@not_oblivious]

the person who made this knew what they were doing 💀

[@joshalvarez9669]

I always enjoyed knockers.

[@iTomFoolery]

A classic indeed :)

[@MrDanIsReal]

they knew what they were doing making 2 melons...

[@pnky1412]

my dirty mind could never 😂

[@johnathanvelasquez6283]

Huh what

[@railfanningCNrail]

Bro in the start got caught lackin

[@Yobisewk206]

Oooooooooooooo

[@crepechan]

i actually want a watermelon the size of a lemon lol

[@nutmaster2755]

i love that it's both fun for both the parents and the kids

[@johnathanvelasquez6283]

Whynfor adult

[@blackcatpoe4716]

More for adults. Kids wouldn't comprehend it until years later.

[@matthewroman2298]

​@@johnathanvelasquez6283 ... figure it out yourself

[@Oddball5.0]

Melons are great, but peaches are still my favorite. But either way, I applaud you for promoting healthy eating habits.

[@Yourlocalbirdlovee]

"They started to sag"got me dying 💀

[@zepplinkiwigamer8217]

And this is why context is important.

[@hashimpro1059]

The melons is feels like “balls”

[@FriezaCold]

A friend of mine sent me these links and I died laughing I love these!

[@GenerationX1984]

Speaking of double entendres, sometimes I rewatch cartoons I saw on TV as a kid and they're chalked full of them. It's like, This was a kids show???

[@ChaosSonic6683]

The overlord himself has returned to bless us all

[@titancatjutsu3255]

I love the professional voice.

[@TobiscoGaming]

Did anyone notice that the fruit is a watermelon, not a melon.

[@AlexEEZ]

some people call them melons for short also yeah there are different kinds of melons still

[@syadterpaling]

The author know what he was doing😂😂

[@johnathanvelasquez6283]

No shi-

[@TerrariaGEKKO]

i think that's enough youtube for today.

[@rahsaanthomas7030]

Reminds me of that melons gag from Family Guy..

[@thecubermint]

i am going to give you a subscriber man.

[@Someonewithnovids]

"A foolish production" Fax, thats definitely a "Foolish production"💀

[@comicluigi7]

I loved when michael melons got all the melons and said "it melling time!"

[@Emzaaaa]

0:37 The guy was not looking at the melons 💀 1:23 ISN’T THAT TAKING IT TOO FAR?

[@Reaper_25411]

how hard is it to not burst out laughing while reading these?

[@xxqw_jay]

how many attempts did it take

[@trinary473]

10/10 story would recommend to ages under 13

[@Himat35]

Umm don’t act like I don’t know what u thought it was about 😂😂

[@Loveshots4u]

0:23 off to a *GREAT* start.

[@justjeepn425]

you've gotta be kidding me, first the balls, NOW THIS?

[@teflojr1562]

Weapons of Mass Distraction

[@iTomFoolery]

Indeed... Hypno-tits ;)

[@Goose_73619]

Imagine if a teacher picks this book and reads it to the kindergarten class

[@phillyphil1690]

Chesticles

[@iTomFoolery]

Fabulous! Because who doesn't love a good chest-tickle ;)

[@markzuckerverse7703]

Lol

[@BlueExorcist.]

What a appropriate name

[@GodlyGaming96]

I wonder what Tom thinks of when reading this ridiculous books lol

[@Idontplaytf2]

1:15 Wha- What the fuck?

[@Whydidthishappentomee]

‘’At least it isn’t THAT dirty minded’’ *Looks at the pictures* *Shooketh*

[@Creeper52442]

THIS GUY READS THE WILDEST BOOKS

[@Therealmaskedwolf]

“They had started to sag” I’ve had it

[@Hero4Hire4]

“Fun bags”!

[@iTomFoolery]

Splendid, because who doesn't like fun. Especially bags of fun!

[@Hero4Hire4]

@@iTomFoolery A lady’s entire body is a paradise playground. Some areas are just all the more delightful and pleasurable to dwell upon! 😇😜

[@bloodrinker]

@@Hero4Hire4 what the-

[@hungryhamster4567]

​@@Hero4Hire4wtf 💀

[@Ducky_boi.66]

"like Mars in the sky or eggs from a dragon"

[@Humanbeingofalltime]

"These are for hubby" 💀

[@KomaCrushesU]

Deaf people: what a nice bedtime story Blind people: WHAT THE FU-

[@Claire-is-a-mushroom]

My life is highly questionable…I’m sitting on my living room couch watching this while eating cheezits in a cup at 1am….

[@Skeletor96ba]

why is Frieza reading me a bed time story?

[@rgbatom5145]

“Dr Michael sells them” had me dying

[@Ave.777]

Tom fooley knows what he doin fr

[@blackberry13657]

kids 2 innocent 🤣

[@macaronicheesebird]

u sound like sir pentious and i laughed so hard imagining him reading it

[@Airiee982]

Imagine 3 year olds reading these stories and not understanding the context

[@YeetMinus]

"the melons were thrown in a sack around her shoulder" this sounds so wrong

[@Modified_life]

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHH sister: what are you laughing at? Me: you will understand when you are 18.

[@alstarlover]

Tom foolery’s stories are starting to traumatize me 💀

[@divided8059]

The quiet kid: Dragons in D&D give birth to live. Litterally the whole class: SHUT UP (including teacher)

[@sharkienovel]

Blud know what he was reading ☠️

[@R3YOnex_009T]

LOOOOOOL they are very big, that RIGHT !! damnnn