Moms of TikTok CONFESS How They REALLY FEEL About Motherhood WOW | Reaction

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Instagram: deeshanell ( deeshanell)

[@butterflylily94]

My mom told me she had to threaten to divorce my dad (infront of his mother😂) to get off his ass and help with my older brother and i when we were practically babies smh🤦🏾‍♀️. But my decision on having kids is leaning more towards not having them. No matter how bad my mama want a grand she gonna get a grand-dog(s) and be happy about it😂

[@DeeShanell10]

Not a grand dog lmao but that’s wild she had to threaten divorce. Hopefully that encouraged your dad to help out lol

[@jadengalicia7719]

Props to your mom 💐 because just like my mom 😂 She will not tolerate disrespect in any form

[@butterflylily94]

@@DeeShanell10 they're still together so he learned real fast she was not playing lol

[@butterflylily94]

@@jadengalicia7719 and did not! She was very patient but you know how it is when you get pushed to the edge

[@nayatarot777]

@@butterflylily94 good on your mother for having that backbone and standing up for herself. too many husbands know that it’s a given that they should be pulling their weight but they know that their wife is patient so they take advantage of that understanding from her. i’m glad that she made it clear that if he was going to not be involved, then she’d rather be single and stressed instead of married and stressed with no help from her spouse 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 because it’s true. if your spouse ain’t trying to make your life easier and be a support system in the same way that you are for them, wtf are they there for?

[@holyguacamole3893]

I’ve noticed many people in the comments seem to think that the complaining of mothers who willingly had children is distasteful, and while I agree to some extent, I don’t think it’s that simple. From a young age most people have had the ‘married and kids’ lifestyle shoved down their throat. You have people who will only show the goods about being a parent and barely any of the downsides. If you’ve grown up in a household where your mother took care of you and perhaps other siblings (if applicable) you’d know that they make it seem so easy because they barely ever outright say that they regret being a mother. You won’t find much open information about the downsides of pregnancy, taking care of kids, and co-parenting. Many people think having kids is as simple as just making sure they’re fed, clothed, and under a roof, but that’s not it. You have to teach, discipline, be understanding, and so much more. These new waves of parents are having children for self-centered reasons and not fully digesting the fact that they have brought another human into the world until they get smacked in the face with a long list of responsibilities. Saying that they shouldn’t complain because they decided to have kids reminds me of the argument that celebrities shouldn’t complain about the downsides of being celebrities because they chose to place themselves into the spotlight. Sure, it’s agreeable, but it’s not that simple. People, regardless of whether or not they placed themselves into certain situations, are going to complain. There are pros and cons to every situation and I don’t think it’s a bad thing for them to tell people how it is. I truly believe none of these women regret having their children/child, but having a moment of weakness and or vulnerability to express feelings to other moms experiencing the same thing or warning other women of the difficulties they may have is not wrong. I think it’s important to understand and sympathize with these parents because if we tell them to suck it up and shut up because they brought it upon themselves, it’s only going to cause built up resentment towards their child. It’s healthy for them to release any feelings of regret or annoyance at their situation. I’m not sure if any of that made any sense as I’m not great at articulating my thoughts, but I can definitely emphasize with these mothers.

[@theywererightaboutus]

My mom has never made it seem easy. At all. And it doesn't take much to research on your own when bringing another human life into the world. While I can understand to an extent, it's not that hard to not get on social media and talk about a sensitive topic. When it's already treated as terrible in the first place. But that's just from a 17 year old, who has a hard working mother who has let me know first-hand being a mom of six kids is not easy.

[@bijoohere568]

@@theywererightaboutus Your very specific situation isn't the reality for the majority. Not to discredit yours and your parent's teaching, which is why you would or may even think to research or have independent thinking on this topic, is not what a lot of ppl get, and your mom must be amazing. This is the same thing for thinking being an adult in general is more fun as a kid...until you become one and realize it isn't as fun as it looked because of rent, electric, water, gas, car note, insurance, taxes, etc and all the things you don't see, and you get a rude awakening fairly quickly. Same principle. We are taught how to be for the most part and only deviate if something seems off or if we are told the "behind the scenes". If you are never told, then you wouldn't look into it because it appears easy or direct. This is important to see, so people make the best choices.

[@theywererightaboutus]

@@bijoohere568 My mom was in college when she had her first child. It's not a specific situation at all. She didn't have help or anything. And yes she is amazing. I look up to my mom. But my point was and still is what people don't understand is that when they get online and rant about something, they are making it seem terrible. When it's not. About me saying it's not hard to research, it really isn't. The Internet is a handy source. And if you have a child without looking into it based on what people have told you, it's really immature. A close family member is having a hard time with a woman they have kids with. And she is in the same boat as these women. But she did it to herself. Both her and my family member. So it's hard for me to have sympathy for people like this (in regards to posting sensitive information on social media, and not looking into motherhood). It's important to note that the woman is a deadbeat towards the children.

[@clayparker9197]

I’m not reading allat

[@theywererightaboutus]

@@bijoohere568 Also we should be encouraging people to use independent thinking. And not giving them excuses for the consequences of not having it. This is how unwanted children are had. I'm not saying to never complain, but to just not do it on social media.. Like what is the purpose? "Hey, I hate being a mom. I wish it was easy. Thanks for the likes." If that's all they have, there lies the issue. Social media shouldn't be an outlet for something so raw and personal. And they should be granted better access to something else that could reflect positivity on them and their mental health. But that would be in a better world. So if that's the case, not much more can be said.

[@viewmann200]

That second one SCARED ME when she picked up that knife, someone gotta check on her.😳

[@jailyn5085]

A couple of these made me cry. Being raised by a single mother, it’s evident that being a mom is hard work and a 24/7 job. I hope all of these moms get the help they need and hopefully life gets easier soon.

[@earthangel90210]

I think as a mother I don’t hate parenting I’m just stressed tf out constantly like worrying constantly whether it’s about my child’s whereabouts to what he’s going to eat to to who’s around him like it’s stressful af. But the proper planning could’ve helped all that my baby is a blessing and is MAKING me get my ish together . It’s hard but a little organization does wonders . I also only have one child so I can only imagine having multiple

[@jessieis]

Same boat. I had my first child two years ago. I more stressed out trying to protect her 24/7.

[@simoneg11]

I encourage anyone to complain about being a parent. Talking about it and letting people know the situation makes you feel better. Instead of holding it within and letting it eat at you. My mother went through things like this even though my dad was still in the picture. She told me how much stress she was under and that it got to the point where she was losing hair. So please speak your truth.

[@baby28girl]

Nah, having kids back to back is crazy to me. We always said we only want a second kid if the first one can do the most or everything without me. That is what we did, and I think it was the best decision we've made

[@littleleah310]

Exactly 🤣

[@ViraL_FootprinT.ex.e]

A lot of those _tradwives_ who pop out at least a handful of kids honestly look miserable as hell, but too afraid to say it. Even when they try to put on the "happy face" facade and convince the world that this is the life they want. But they actively chose that lifestyle, soooo... 🤷🏾‍♂️ At the end of the day, they really had no idea what they were getting into, and I'm sure many of them were young too.

[@littlesparrow303]

Yeah I’ve met Hispanic families who have like 4-5 kids. I’m like why?! That’s a lot especially spending more on food & their needs

[@blueiris1542]

Facts! If I have kids in the future, I'm good with just 2 😂 I barely know if I want any at all 💀

[@theywererightaboutus]

​​@@littlesparrow303Maybe because they want to? Don't let the women in the video make it seem like every family is miserable handling more than one child.

[@DizzyDraco2002]

Nobody told y’all to have these kids tho 😂 😂 😂

[@littlesparrow303]

For real!! They should have learned protection and not be spreading them legs

[@unbrokensmoke4380]

Fax😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@DizzyDraco2002]

@@supershynjgg that’s why people shouldn’t have kids at all. They have kids for they own selfish reasons thinking it’s sweet . N when reality hit them , they wanna cry

[@fartunyep4501]

They do. Thats the point

[@alllbakjsbd7195]

I feel bad for the mothers, their feelings are very valid but the trauma that these kids are exposed to cause kids know. They feed off the stress and hate you show them. Most women who grow up to hate men or try to be hyper independent are because they seen how their dad’s have treated their mum and as a result the mum becomes hostile towards them.

[@aceshouse3389]

Lets be honest alot of these people put themselves in these situations

[@davidw652]

I don't want kids either but ones you have them you are responsible and you need to deal with that

[@nayatarot777]

lmaoo not Dee exposing her cousin at the end 😂😂 EXPOSE HIM 💀

[@cameronleerodriguez]

This thumbnail 😂, the pink outline and surprised face. You already know she has something to say about this 😭

[@blvckrlly]

as the only single childless aunt in my family of 10 nieces and nephews , i enjoy being childless and giving them kids back to their parents😭😭because i be feeling like this when im watching 2 of them for a couple hours, imagine if i had kids of my own.😭

[@laurennkundimana173]

Me too. They all got me stressed TF out like I'm their mom. Whew Chile 😂 I just can't.

[@blvckrlly]

@@laurennkundimana173 i just get to a point where i let them do anything and deal with the consequences later😭😭cause they clearly take me as a joke

[@laurennkundimana173]

@@blvckrlly I just tell them to get away from me and go watch TV 😭

[@nic558]

My twin sister and I were the oldest and while we shared the responsibility of being the oldest AND PARENT (their father didn’t help only “financially” while in the house 🙄) which required us to step up at the age of 8. We made mistakes but there was never any violence but it’s was so hard. It broke me a little when my twin got pregnant at 18. While she wasn’t a minor that’s still SO YOUNG. We had already parented our siblings just for her to become one? It didn’t seem fair to me. But I respected whatever decision she made. She chose to have her baby. And we’re so fortunate that we as a family have financial security & have healed a bit. Her baby daddy was always around yes but he’s SO USELESSS. Being a “first time” parent is no excuse for men. STEP UP. He once chose his friends over her daughters needs. He got drunk & promised earlier in the day to watch her.. obviously my sister moved back with us for a bit. Mothers deserve compassion and SOME grace. More than they do for sure. I’m a 23 year old man & so many woman in my family have told me that I deserve to have a happy family cause I know how to take care of babies… it’s made me so disappointed & angry at my own sex. These men are trash (obviously not every single one of them y’all). I’m glad these mothers are coming forward

[@alucardvekkia3966]

big ups to you bro

[@goncalodias6402]

the one with the knife 💀💀💀

[@DizzyDraco2002]

Ong like she finna stab the lil nigga

[@laurennkundimana173]

I was like girl you better put that down 😭💀

[@chimcham6762]

Baaaaaby and every time she hit it against the counter, each hit kept on getting more more aggressive 😩😭 poor woman, I wish her the best chileee

[@animalistic234]

She scared me..

[@smilealwaysnatasha3423]

Somebody need to check on her cause sis seems a little unhinged

[@Kaicpt]

This is why im prochoice imagine growing up and seeing your mom talk about how much of a burden you were to her mental health in the internet. Some women aren't meant to be mothers.

[@S6Ryujin]

I wanna see their face when they realize what their mom was describing being their mom was like, that video will be very interesting cuz we know the kids will show us the other side that they themselves didn’t mention in this vid

[@starxvssv]

That's literally my mother 😭 it fucked with my mental health so bad for so long

[@dannid954]

Not every mother feels this way. Some women actually takes joy in raising their children. I was a teen mom, I’m just glad my experience wasn’t this bad. Yes it can get a little bit stressful sometimes but my God they’re going through it… but prayers to the moms That are having a very difficult time.

[@dannid954]

I can say tho having children gave me anxiety. I would always worry about sending them off to school, and now that one of my children is now 19 i worry when he’s hanging out with friends, my youngest is still in school and i have fear every time i drop him to school. Along with a lot of other things i would fear but it wasn’t that bad for me I’m so thankful.

[@ParkJeonHavetheKeys]

Not every mother has hated being a mom...there are definitely harder days, but i've never not wanted to be my childs mother. Some people just arent supposed to be parents,and thats just the bottom line.

[@D.boutabagg]

Exactly, not everyone is ready to be a parent. People forget that.

[@DizzyDraco2002]

Back 2 back kids when u can’t even handle 1 is crazy

[@helloworld9593]

2:41 that's how my life was with my parents. My mom was a SAHM and my dad worked, my mom had a job at one point of my life but still did the house work but meanwhile my dad was away for work, so my mom was physically raising us by herself at that time (she had 5 kids btw) and she did a great job.

[@queenc8953]

Yes! More transparency! I definitely needed to see this because I feel like my social media algorithms is baby fever sometimes smh!

[@chopgotsauce6812]

Sorry nobody told yall but. Once you have kids its not about you anymore.

[@d3m112]

yes it is. you can still take care of yourself, but the kids are just your main responsibility until they begin their own life.

[@jkenergy5548]

The biggest problems I see is the lack of responsibility from the father. My dad was very involved and after losing my mom he worked full time and still was a great dad to all his daughters. If they wanted they would do it.

[@S6Ryujin]

Yup, those men literally only seem to be there to pay bills, if thats all he’s doing then atp they should both just work and take turns taking care of the kids, allow her some time to go work and be away from the kids so the resentment doesn’t build like this, and he gets time to see what she deals with

[@chrisfernando3199]

Oh these girls were all real…God Bless them.

[@Xochelsealondon]

I love how they’re all being honest. The reasons I don’t want to be a mother aside from I just don’t want to, really coincide with the First Lady. I’m enough of a bill and barely have energy for myself, I couldn’t imagine having to muster up energy for a child.

[@ShrekThaOGEE]

Women complaining about having kids but they have 3-5 children … ma’am this is your fault 😂

[@pjmstarry1326]

men make the kids too …

[@IE_Lucky]

@@pjmstarry1326Did you ever make a video for the world to see while your kid is clearly crying in the background?

[@littlemayo7136]

@@IE_Lucky wow they're holding another child and cooking while their husband will literally be in the house doing nothing with no excuse for not helping

[@Cashout95]

@@pjmstarry1326Men cant get an abortion😂

[@dummydomdom1993]

@@littlemayo7136we understand that, but she had three kids complaining about how hard was when she had to go through the process three times! If she didn’t learn the first two times then the stress that eggs on…that’s her fault.

[@cynicalperson161]

I'm always wary of people purposefully recording themselves crying when filming these videos but I can sympathize with them being a mother.

[@S6Ryujin]

Sometimes they can start crying after the video begins, personally idk how you would still upload it, but some people feel like it’s more real to cry on cam

[@cynicalperson161]

@@S6Ryujin I just also think about what their kids' reactions would be if they ever see these type of videos.

[@potatoheaaad]

So after the first one popped out the wood work… you still didn’t learn? Girl, bye. Feed your kids.

[@laurennkundimana173]

I don't know why I laughed at "Girl, bye. Feed your kids" but your right tho.

[@stephiiuni]

You right. A lot of people don't learn. Just think of all the women with MUTLIPLE baby daddies. Damn.

[@cynicalperson161]

Like she could've cooked the food first before recording bruh

[@ChillandVersatile]

Crying about your poor choices on TikTok is crazy 😂

[@smilealwaysnatasha3423]

Buyers remorse haha

[@S6Ryujin]

@@smilealwaysnatasha3423 lmfao “buyers” sometimes babies get forced on people, not physically forced, but still you know

[@hhfjhhiigudjfiy6975]

This is why when you ask kids. Who is your favorite parent" Most of them say thier Mother, because they are the ones mostly working 24/7 for these kids

[@BoosGaming1]

The one with the knife have NO reason to complain...girl you did it more than once 😑

[@BoosGaming1]

@@supershynjgg What!? 😆 You missed the WHOLE concept

[@BoosGaming1]

okay@@supershynjgg

[@jayna_thequeen]

Cause men swear just by going to work that’s all they have to do and still complain about taking care of their children which is crazy even fixing them a meal is too much for them

[@jayna_thequeen]

@@user-ye4bu6xh4cthe same expectation is for these men who don’t work or work little hours and are home with the kids but still rely on the woman who has worked alll day to have everything done for them and the kids

[@jayna_thequeen]

@@user-ye4bu6xh4cthe same reason there are women who don’t work in the household… and this is a different generation where there are a lot of lazy men idk if you’re in touch with reality but yes these men exist sadly regardless of anything you’re talking about which is the problem at hand clearly

[@lorenzoreynolds2512]

​@@user-ye4bu6xh4cfacts

[@lelelew2735]

​@user-ye4bu6xh4c i would say you can clock out at your job but being a mother is 24/7 not really a fair trade. If thats the case she should have human work rights which means a day or 2 off from her job if shes not getting that its in humane

[@lelelew2735]

@@user-ye4bu6xh4c no its not lol thats the whole point of the video. Moms are usually more active than the father. In my experience and many others our fathers got off work hopped on a video game or grabbed a beer. A mom cant do that

[@jeremydade5402]

Having 3 kids then complaining about kids is crazy to me. Honestly having any kids and complaining is crazy, but three is absurd.

[@kpoverloaddd]

how is that crazy? mothers are allowed to complain about having kids even though they love them dearly. you complain about stuff too. is that absurd to you as well?

[@majdijones587]

@@kpoverloadddstop fucking having them then

[@jeremydade5402]

@@kpoverloaddd anyone is allowed to complain, but complaining about choices you made is crazy to me. I don’t complain about my own decisions.

[@mikeshark8869]

​@@jeremydade5402So you've never regretted anything you've done in life?

[@belladonnarose5671]

@@lidiagizaw3828 they gonna ignore this one 😂

[@GreenGeeky]

As a mom. Motherhood is HARD. Even with the other parent it’s HARD. Love mine to death and she was 100% planned but I’ll tell anyone DONT DO THIS UNTIL YOURE READY OR DONT DO IT AT ALL.

[@alaijahdeleon3207]

i have an aunt who’s in this situation and everytime i go there i just have to watch in disbelief my cousins (from different aunts and uncles) call me a kiss ass when i get up and help her but i really dgaf i can’t stand to see her clean cook get the kids homework done, get them bathed, and in bed at a reasonable time while he just smokes, watches sports, and nags at her. it’s so blood boiling.

[@TiariMoore]

Those were not just Tik Tok videos that was also birth control chile. 🤣

[@GL.528]

As someone who grew up in a Hispanic household this is VERY common. The mom does everything and the dad is just sitting on his fucking ass 🤦🏻‍♀️ my mom had 3 kids including myself she did all the cooking, cleaning, AND worked a full time job meanwhile my dad barely did anything. Yes he worked and got the bills paid but he barley helped with my siblings and I. I still see this type of shit happening with my sister and her husband as well as with my cousins and their husbands. Like girl if you don’t tell your husband to get his ass off the damn couch and help you with those damn kids!

[@nayatarot777]

i feel for these women to a certain extent - especially the ones who realised that after one child, motherhood was something that they may not be entirely cut out for - but how tf do you pop out kids back to back and not realise how stressful it is until 2/3/4 of them are born? i’ve heard from parents that even the one “easy” child that they have (their only child who’s extremely independent and probably takes less teaching or talking to than most other kids) is still hard to look after. i feel like this is what happens when pride and ego is too strong and you won’t admit how you truly feel about your decisions from the beginning. because a lot of mothers want to put on a happy face instead of being real about how stressed and miserable they are or being real about the types of regrets that they have. and then when they can’t keep up the happy facade after pretending to be ready to pop out more kids, then they want to cry. this is why therapy and emotional intelligence needs to be taught to EVERYONE - especially those who become parents. these women deserve compassion (i’m not a parent, but i’ve seen how stressful parenting can be like many others), however, i can’t help but wonder how men complaining about the stresses of being a stay-at-home father who also CHOSE to have multiple kids would be received. the same women who (rightfully) have compassion for these women would probably turn around and say “you’re complaining about doing what women have done for centuries”. or “this is the responsibility that you chose. you have to deal with it”. it’s important to keep the same energy when it comes to handing other people accountability. we should have compassion for people who are struggling - especially with something as sensitive as parenthood - but it’s also possible to not have double standards with these things. because, again, if stay-at-home dads were to do this, i have a feeling that the reception would be very different. i mean, i’ve seen the difference in reaction in my personal life so 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@nayatarot777]

side note: i understand that social expectations really do play a huge factor in having kids (especially for women) but that leads me to another point: people really need to start raising their kids with more of a mind of their own and a backbone in this world. thankfully, i learned to have it quite young, so no amount of pressure and shaming could ever get me - or my siblings (even my little sister) - to do something that we truly didn’t want to do. people really need to start raising their kids to stop listening to external people. and i understand how growing up in a household where unrealistic expectations were put onto you can do a number on how you live your life for other people (my abusive father tried that with me - thankfully it didn’t work), but i think it’s absolutely insane to make a decision as permanent as becoming a mother simply because other people tell you to do so. people pressuring you into a career? you can change your life around and quit it if you’d like. people pressuring you to get married? you can divorce and get rid of that marriage out of your life eventually. but KIDS? come on now. don’t be a people pleaser and a pushover when it comes to something as serious as that. open your eyes, go to therapy if you need to, understand that your life is YOURS, and that any struggles that you have as a result of listening to other people is a struggle that you’ll have to go through ALONE. you should not be popping out kids because “my parents said that they wanted grandkids”. that is INSANE to me. you’re not even becoming a parent for the right reasons and that choice to bring a child into this world that you don’t truly want/that you’re not ready for will negatively affect them IMMENSELY. just because you wanted to avoid familial or social shame. it’s messed up when i really think about it. we don’t live in the 1950s anymore. and yes, the conditionings are still there, but this is why i say that new parents should raise their kids with more strength and with a free-mind so that they don’t make messed up decisions for the sake of their self-image to their family or to society. my grandma definitely taught me that so maybe that’s why pressure from my dad in every aspect of my life didn’t really affect me, but even so, i had to be honest with myself and take myself to therapy to undo the conditionings that i knew were there - no matter how difficult it was.

[@littlemayo7136]

I mean to be fair their husbands keep asking for kids and they could also have multiple kids at the same time which is still a problem winner in cuz they have to prioritize themselves a little bit more rather than Center in our whole entire life around the man that they're with cuz has it's been shown in the video they're not going to be the ones raising the kids

[@nayatarot777]

@@littlemayo7136 if people have twins, triplets, etc then that’s just something that’s out of their control if they only planned on having one baby. however, if the reason for popping out multiple kids that they weren’t ready or prepared for is “my husband kept asking me for more” then that’s also on their husband (if he knew that she wasn’t ready) but most of all her. our body, our choice as women, right? so if they decided to make choices based on their husbands without prioritising themselves - not thinking about how them not being ready for more kids negatively affect their children - then that’s also an irresponsibility on the woman’s part. we’re grown adults, and i don’t believe that peer pressure is a good excuse as to why someone has now brought children into an environment with parents (or a mother) who wasn’t prepared for them.

[@thatbish2534]

i just can’t feel bad for some of them who be having more than one kid, like u didn’t learn from the first one… 🥱🥱

[@Agrassyhandle]

Im a 20yo guy and for some reason people always say get kids and my parents sometime say "i cant wait for you to make me a godmother" and i'm like... I don't want kids I'm already jacked up you wanna pile a kid on top of that? chile please

[@ljb5163]

Right lol. I can barely take care of myself.

[@jadengalicia7719]

Maybe I don’t want a kids 😂😂 because I already got my own problems and I don’t wanna be stressed out 😭

[@mizzbritt2082]

I've had rough days but I don't feel sorry for these women lol....they the ones popping them all out lol...I learned after ONE ...and they think its hard now jus wait till they teenagers....this has Been the hardest part yet lol

[@littleleah310]

Oop

[@SparkimusPrime]

I knew I was going to be one and done immediately lol she’s about to be 15. I can’t even imagine having more than one.

[@stephiiuni]

I'm in the same boat. I only had one child. Once I realized no one was there for me, I said, no more kids. The baby/toddler/preschool age was a piece of cake. The teenager and peer pressure age is the hardest part. Trying to build confidence and leadership in my son has been the hardest thing I ever had to do. It's a struggle every day.

[@jarenfromvenus]

What’s wrong with y’all? You bragging about lacking empathy.

[@THEREALGATES]

@@jarenfromvenuscry

[@Imdumorg]

Living in a small conservative town, I stay seeing young girls having baby fever because no one taught them that can have a career and be happy on their own. So when they talk to me i tell them to buy a puppy first, it is a legit pre lesson before having a child, then they change their mind right after. 😂

[@Jorgiaaap]

Dee: “cover yo mouth” When I tell y’all I am weak asf😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@user-se2wi8ml9y]

And this is why Mothers Day is celebrated more than Fathers Day.

[@galliano100]

My sister has a 3 y/o and a 7 y/o.. when I’m on the phone with her it’s like she’s doing 10 things at once. Cooking, cleaning, folding clothes, helping her kid get her shoes, other kid is in the background screaming. Like wtf

[@Charsteria]

13:46 some of yall who wearing rose colored glasses need to hear this bc yall would swear that "your man" will never be this way and that this will never be you👀 keeping it real, im too selfish to try to sit here and take care of a kid(not saying that i dont wanna be a parent one day) but for rn this is MY time! forget trying to find a husband and fall in love and all that temporary stuff, im good😂 (not to say i havent ever been in love before bc i was but i was never a fool like some of yall make yourselves out to be, im a strong believer in love is just a feeling and i wish i would pop out kids back to back just bc im with someone knowing that im not ready for it(not saying that anyone is "ready" but some of yall dont be stable in ALL aspects and imma just leave it at that)👀

[@Charsteria]

@@user-ye4bu6xh4c facts but, say that your in a relationship and that person cheats, I have seen and heard so many people say that it's like they see their partners as stranger after that, and that just shows that at the end of the day you truly don't know anybody actually, kinda another reason why I'm not to keen on having kids right now, people got a lot of self focusing they need to be doing, I will not bring a child into this messy a** world

[@mirza2975]

i mean it so much when i say 60% of parents should not have had children when they did

[@maaaggs]

5:18 Now Dee…💀😂

[@tee57515]

I’ve never been prouder of my decision not to have children 😅 shout out to everyone that does the job because it is a job. An extra one and you’re so right. Men still expect women to do all of that work or at least some of them but some is to much

[@chimcham6762]

Y’all don’t let no nigga fool you and drag you into hell and leave you there. I’ve seen with my own eyes the difficulties of being a mother from my own mother and friends that are now mothers. It seems like pure stress and hell so I would NEVER let anyone shame or pressure me to becoming one, ESPECIALLY no damn man wheew y’all be safe tho.

[@jasmeetsandhu229]

Most of my friends who have kids were happy the first year then after became miserable as hell

[@Khai.s]

Dee you touched on a sociological point in this vid. The phrase “Dual burden” is used to describe women’s role in society since being able to work full time. They have to manage their careers as well as the home life too whereas most men just focus on their careers.

[@Khai.s]

There’s also a term “triple shift” which describes how women are expected to do the emotional work (looking after kids and husband), the career work and the house work (cooking, cleaning)

[@nobodae3296]

Being a single mother in 2023 in crazy. Abort that thang.

[@1984hacked]

It is illegal in some states now.

[@cloroxwipes9879]

cuz everyone wants to abort their child bsffr LMAOOO (abort if U want its ur body but still leave the ppl who don't alone lol💀)

[@The3Kings]

I still don’t understand. Women keep fighting for my body my choice….and still decide to have the baby. What was the whole point 🤦🏿

[@1984hacked]

@@cloroxwipes9879 Who is coming after the people that don't want to. I did not know there was a law making people get an abortion?😂

[@cloroxwipes9879]

@@1984hacked The commenter isn't rlly hating on them but what they said was still hella shady my wording is wrong lol

[@tylerhackner9731]

Were these people forced to have kids?

[@S6Ryujin]

Maybe?🤣

[@synnavibez183]

I mean, in some states it’s literally illegal to have an abortion 💀…

[@luckilew]

Sounds like a bunch of selfishness. Also there isn't supposed to be single parents.

[@vd1445]

Those people are so sensitive like tough it up you chose to have kids it was your choice so stop complaining and nagging.

[@littleleah310]

Real

[@rashanereid3809]

I agree, no one forced you. You took up this responsibility, so deal with it

[@aceshouse3389]

Agreed

[@mikarosey]

That’s a really ignorant point of view. You can want something and once you get it, it can be something you didn’t expect 💀 doesn’t mean they don’t love their babies but they do have the right to complain on the days it’s extra hard. Calling them sensitive just because YOU don’t resonate with them is so ignorant.

[@vd1445]

@mikarosey you had kids willingly you know it's not gonna be easy raising one child is really hard yet rewarding that why most people who get married wants kids but nowadays people well Americans because i never hear people from other countries complain about motherhood that literally the most amazing thing ever if u like kids but girls nowadays well most of them want to have kid and go out party and have regular active life before kids which is hard but that the decision they made , they chose to be responsible for another life yeah yeah they can complain all they want but going on social media and saying parenthood isn't great or i hate having kids etc..., that i don't get it maybe because i grow up in really traditional household that u should not have kids before marriage and until you're read to provide and love the kid. that just my opinion, people nowadays love to go online and complain about everything.

[@Againsttherulescouk]

One was enough for me …and working full time and looking after one child and looking after a household was the most difficult thing

[@ksim3461]

I can't remember where I saw a similar discussion (tigerbelly?) but the discussion was about how the western idea of motherhood is relativity new in the level of isolation young mothers face. Globally (& in the past in the West) families have/had whole communities to rely on during pregnancy and early motherhood. Hell my Chinese friend has told me that in her culture her Mum or mother in law was expected to move in and help in late pregnancy and a few months into infancy. It doesnt feel natural to force new mums and couples into this.

[@TORULEZ10]

Every experience with everything in life is circumstantial. Some enjoy things others may hate. Some may enjoy things in the right situation: Building a healthy relationship (where the man WANTS to help and you both intently plan date nights), maybe building financial support to send kids to daycare, or some like the challenge of having the deck against them. Evidence can be found for any argument, Heck even without evidence. Seems like people just gotta think want they want then do what needs to be done to best achieve it, TO THE BEST OF OUR ABILITY, instead of hoping things fall in place.

[@MegaBloodrain]

That's what I've been saying, you gotta be in the mindset to bring kids into the world otherwise we constantly end up with psychopaths who got no love from their parents, fucking up the planet. Chill with that child shit until you're ready. I myself, will never be ready for that bs lol

[@YeahIGotNuthin]

My cousin has three kids without the man, and she works. She loves her kids, but it’s hard!

[@IE_Lucky]

The last chick spoke the most truth

[@Jj_fu]

It sucks because a lot single moms are not planning to be single mother! This vid made me sad cuz I remember my mom bestie was a single mom n her husband left her with all the kids so we use to go help her. She has been thru n I remember her telling us that she wouldn’t make it if we didn’t help

[@kiaprincessstar3985]

This is why i said one child is enough for me less headache 😂

[@Literally_me93]

Up until recently raising a child was a community effort. No one person or couple is meant to take care of child alone.

[@bregn4]

even tho I want kids, I firmly support people who choose not to. Kids do not deserve to grow up in environments where their parents are just tolerating them or wish they didn’t exist. Not only is the parent miserable but that can mess up the child too

[@meanstoanever]

I got scared for the babys when that lady pulled that knife out😭

[@ItsMercerBaby]

Everyone gets a warning in life not to have kids now. Don’t have sex without protection or some sort and nobody listens. Do you think people should really care about what these parents go through? I think the fuck not.

[@Scorpy1106]

It's sad because I 've seen/know women who are in full blown marriages playing the role of a single mother. Not to undermine their ability to get the work done (or even the ones that doesn't mind doing it), but it has got to be tiring/hard. Their tiredness shows at times, even though some of them try to push through. Crazy thing is, when their energy runs out, and now it's their time to be taken care of, the house falls apart. It's a teamwork. The man doing the bare minimum (bringing home the money) is not enough; it never was, but some of our grandmothers/mothers pushed through it, and that cycle is still repeating itself. Yall are raising a whole ass human being TOGETHER. So unfortunate that some women are still RAISING THEIR HUSBANDS. "My man is the biggest baby" is not cute; just more work. Like she said, any woman who plans on having a child should consider being able to care for the child(ren) through thick and thin. It's not for the weak. Nothing /Noone is for certain. It takes a village, and the village could disappear in a blink of an eye, if there even is one.

[@mahoganysreign6360]

I can’t wait for my first December 4th I’m so excited , and you have to understand that kids are huge responsibilities if you can’t even function alone don’t have one & don’t have a child out of spite just to keep a man that’s gonna make u even more miserable

[@ChillandVersatile]

At least the ones who admit they wouldn’t be a good mother, or aren’t prepared for kids yet don’t have any. These mothers do 🤦🏽‍♂️, ain’t nobody fault but yourself. Why you on TikTok crying like we care 😂 ??

[@0FFXJAI]

Men step up😐

[@baonemogomotsi7138]

We definitely need to. And it hurts as a son raised by a single mom, and a Motswana.

[@Tee_God]

Whew this is a sticky one. I know single parents go through a lot and I can empathise However, I don't sympathise - the main reason so far I've refused to have kids as much as I want them is I'm not putting them in a bad situation. I know the support I'd need (especially with a newborn), ain't no way I'm putting myself in a stupid situation that could potentially impact my child just because 'I want one'. We're raising a generation who are results of 1 night stands or situationships..then everyone wanna complain

[@petrinegordon]

I love this because I feel like society makes no room for women to have negative feelings about being a parent. It's like if you don't feel like having kids is the best thing that's ever happened to you, you're a bad mom. It's ok to regret becoming a parent as long as you don't abuse the children. Another part of the problem is modern men expect that they shouldn't have to change and adapt. They want to do what their grandads did, mow the lawn, take out the trash, take care of the cars, etc. But when grandad did those things grandma didn't work. Modern moms have to work because 1 income is not enough to take care of a family. So if women had to adapt to fit the needs of the family what makes men think they're exempt? As a young person I've always been on the fence about having kids because us in our 20s aren't even sure when we'll be able to afford a house let alone being able to afford taking care of another human being. The second thing is, "the village" doesn't really exist anymore in Western society. Back in the day there were always aunties, cousins, and other women who didn't work that helped with the children. I think parents back then were able to take the breaks they needed from their children more than parents today. Parents today are lucky if they have family to help and even when they do they make not get help all the time or for free. There's way more downsides to having kids in this day and age than there are upsides.

[@brianrecinos3914]

What, are they all going through some post partum depression?

[@shawnrobinson6641]

That’s because people in this generation is just irresponsible(the girl in the first clip admitted it). Both of my grandmas had to raise multiple kids, grand kids and even great grandkids with not father

[@stephiiuni]

It's not just this generation. This is many generations. It's not a new thing.

[@sec008987]

@@stephiiunistarted in the 80s parents prior to that were not having any of this. Ask your older aunties and grandparents.

[@rohanjaime2470]

The idea of having kids Has never been appealing to me whatsoever. I actually have coworkers male who try to make me feel out of place for not having/wanting and im currently 23 💀. Like bra, i know y'all barely take care of ur own damn kids and leave majority of the work for the mothers to handle so excuse me if i dont wanna participate in that shit. You'd Be shocked at the amount of audacity that these dudes have when they themselves aint shit and talking cheating on the mother of their children. I know that I am not mentally or financially prepared the handle small human being and chances are i will never be mentally ready because I'm not wired that way.

[@mauricefultz6287]

Thanks Shanell Beautiful ❤️ Peace & Love Big Reese

[@catierollins8493]

Our Caramel Princess ❤💕

[@admusik99]

Ok, I know I shouldn't laugh but the one with the 🔪 knife had me 😂 and 👀 at the same damn time 😂

[@emiliogonzales6043]

I still don’t understand how my parents did it, they both worked opposite shifts so when one got home from work they took care of me and my sister, and repeat day after day, no day care, I asked did you guys sleep and they said barely

[@314andre]

dee’s physic abilities strikes again😂 2:44 and 4:16

[@belladonnarose5671]

This video and this comment section made me become more confident in my decision to not have kids and not get married 😭😭😭 cuz wtffffff cuz the men under these comments are disgusting and the women sharing their stories of themselves or family members makes me glad to be childless and single 😂

[@stfutherat]

My mom was a single mother she still until this day says the shit was a walk in the park.

[@GL.528]

Not dee telling the baby to cover their mouth 🤣 but this video made me so happy that I don’t go no kids! I’m 21 and I know people my age with kids/multiple kids and I’m like 😳 no thank you! Got me rethinking if I even want any lol

[@Soph-ts9yb]

Being a mother the past 4 months has been the best time of my life.

[@S6Ryujin]

You probably have a very normal support system, these women don’t seem to have that in place by no fault of their own, their partners are uninvolved

[@fartunyep4501]

Cookie

[@D.boutabagg]

@@fartunyep4501you mad because a mother isn’t miserable like these videos ? Bozo

[@stfutherat]

I can’t feel bad for people who do what they want and don’t like the results. One of them knew what was up with one kid and decided to have more kids.

[@blairmcauley2497]

I’m sorry but no one is forcing these women to have kids. You made that choice yes it’s hard and frustrating raising a child but newsflash no one said it was easy. Another thing you can always stop having kids when you feel you and your partner are done. Now I will say the woman who are one there own I feel bad for them and especially if they have a husband or boyfriend and they’re still taking care of the baby by themselves then yes I feel bad for them that’s not cool

[@mielissa100ify]

Listen we waited until we traveled and were financially stable to have two kids. Love them dearly but sometimes it’s so hard even with a complete family. I can’t imagine how hard it is as a single parent. It’s hard being married, being a mom/dad, being single, etc….hell it’s hard out here. This inflation ain’t helping anyone either lol.

[@halo-august3452]

I've ALWAYS Said Being A Parent Is One Of The WORST JOBS EVER

[@whirlysquirrely3368]

The truth comes out. This shit is reality

[@asura7322]

Great content 😂

[@soggytomales893]

I think it suck to be a stay at home mom of multiple children, one society thinks u got the easiest job but your on child duty 24/7 and your man is working so he definitely ain't doing much at home but ppl say u can't complain because u "don't have to work"

[@cloroxbitch2491]

No sympathy for people who chose to be moms. You got yourself into this shit. People should be licensed to able to breed 😂 I said what I said. This is why I don’t want kids. I don’t want to have kids and then go on the internet to complain and cry about it 💀 couldn’t be me. Make sure you got yourself a good man and make sure you’re a selfless person before you get kids. I’m selfish and that’s why I don’t want kids.

[@johnrossi6189]

Sorry but the one saying you can leave after having a child is disgusting to me. I understand it can be tough and if someone doesn't want kids that's their choice but then *dont have them* , to me it's disgusting to say you can leave them after having them, and that's for men as well. You don't get to have a kid then pack up your shit and leave.

[@theofficialjaycool]

I'm sorry I got to keep it real I don't feel bad for none of these parents at all. This is the consequences when you open your legs and have unprotected sex. An arm of a ride-along with D I do not want kids I do not want me and my partner to adopt ever. My boyfriend don't want kids either. And him and I been together for 8 years next year will be 9.

[@ChillandVersatile]

How is the man useless when he’s the one working 10-12 hour shifts 6 days a week to provide the necessities for the mom to be able to do her duties and for all of them to have a roof over their head, food in their stomach, and clothes on their backs. Geez these people are slow 🙄😒

[@S6Ryujin]

Once he finishes working and gets home he should take the weight off the mom’s hands now that he is there, especially on weekends

[@316thaking]

And who takes the weight off of him when it comes to paying bills, providing for her and the baby? If he's able to provide enough necessities so the mother doesn't have to work, he's already helping her tremendously

[@lelelew2735]

​most times its the men who suggest stay at home wives. Because somebody has to watch the kids and the men would rather go to work im sure if you gave a man a choice stay at home with your kids or work 10 hours they would choose work lol stop gaslighting being a mom is the obvious more difficult job.

[@fartunyep4501]

People push down having kids down ur throat 😂 im.glad now people here are saying dont and telling others

[@bregn4]

growing up with an older brother and 3 younger sisters was enough birth control for me lol. I went through the phase of definitely not wanting kids in my teens. But the older I get, my desire to create a healthy, nurturing environment for my children grows, especially bc I didn’t necessarily have that as a kid. I know it will be difficult (physically, mentally, emotionally) but worth it. I’m glad I was fortunate enough to be selfish and enjoy my 20s bc I see parents who put their lives on hold OR had kids so early in life that they never really had time to discover who they were as an adult. Then overtime they resent their kids or themselves. And I also know choosing the right person to build with is SO important. I do believe there are men who can be good, present fathers and husbands. I need to see fatherly qualities of compassion, selflessness, etc in a man before I consider marriage and kids ++ in America we don’t value extended family like other cultures which is why the brunt of the work falls on one or two people. If you have willing community around you, they can join you in raising your kids. I am (for better or worse) the product of many people not just my parents and I’m grateful for that.

[@chopgotsauce6812]

Being ah bread winner and protector aint enough men must also take on woman roles as well. I guarantee the load is heavier on woman in the kids early age. But once adolescent hit, dads are the main parent.