MONTESSORI AT HOME: When Your Child Isn't Interested in Shelf Work...

MONTESSORI AT HOME: When Your Child Isn't Interested in Shelf Work...
********
READ my new book “The Montessori Home: Create a Space for Your Child to Thrive” - geni.us/Montes...
LEARN MORE about Montessori at Home and Positive Discipline Parenting - montessori-at-...
JOIN the “Montessori Parents” community - montessoripare...
BOOK a 1:1 coaching session with me - www.ashley-yeh...
********
//SHOP:
○ Our Montessori-Friendly Amazon Storefront - www.amazon.com/...
○ My Montessori Printables Shop - www.teacherspa...
○ Montessori & Me (Mike’s business!) - www.montessoria...
○ Sprout Montessori Furniture (10% off with code HAPAFAM) - sprout-kids.co...
○ Lovevery Play Kits - lovevery.pxf.i...
○ Monti Kids ($60 off with code HAPAFAM) - shrsl.com/1rvp4...
○ Montessori by Mom ($10 off with code HAPAFAM) - www.montessori...
○ Manine Montessori (10% off with code HAPA10) - manine-montess...
○ Prepared Montessorian Institute (Montessori teacher certification) - preparedmontes...
○ For Small Hands (Montessori materials for home) - shrsl.com/3lfub
○ Little Passports - bit.ly/3zcLvRl
○ KiwiCo - bit.ly/3o0nI0q
○ Montessori Baby Topponcinos - bit.ly/2WCurzX
○ Sarah’s Silks - bit.ly/2lSCWYS
○ Yoto Player - tidd.ly/3uuukrt
//RECOMMENDED READING:
○ My NEW Book "The Montessori Home" - amzn.to/3bxPs6E
○ The Joyful Child - amzn.to/3HU1cQ9
○ The Montessori Baby - amzn.to/3y0SURL
○ The Montessori Toddler - amzn.to/3OOLM1V
○ Montessori from the Start - amzn.to/3niypLH
○ How to Raise an Amazing Child the Montessori Way - amzn.to/3nnh04q
○ Your Self-Confident Baby - amzn.to/3niPW6q
○ How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk - amzn.to/3fZrfeU
○ Unconditional Parenting - amzn.to/3HVcd3u
//AUDIO+VIDEO GEAR USED:
○ My Camera - amzn.to/3y1kZIU
○ Vlogging Lens - amzn.to/3QPZLpT
○ Sit-down Video Lens - amzn.to/3ub3eWj
○ Drone - amzn.to/3NpH35I
○ Microphone - amzn.to/3QTdL1Z
○ Vlogging Tripod - amzn.to/3ypSsOD
○ Sit-down Video Tripod (similar) - amzn.to/3OHQ9f2
○ Studio Light (similar) - amzn.to/3OQOqnT
○ Music & SFX - www.epidemicsou... + zapsplat.com
//FOLLOW:
○ Subscribe to the channel - bit.ly/2MYJWie
○ Montessori at Home (the whole series) - goo.gl/NeBLhC
○ Montessori Activity Ideas (by age) - bit.ly/2Wpv8NB
○ Baby Led Weaning (mini-series) - bit.ly/334iXqH
○ Real Talk (mini-series) - goo.gl/izKgkn
○ Baby #2 Pregnancy Journey - bit.ly/2y3fHOE
//CONNECT:
○ Instagram - @hapafamilyvlog
○ Business Inquiries - [e-mail]
DISCLAIMER: This video was not sponsored. The recommendations and opinions expressed here are completely my own. Some links included in this description may be affiliate links. If you purchase a product or service with the links that I provide, I may receive a small commission, but there is no additional charge to you. Thank you for supporting my channel so I can continue to provide you with free content each week! :)
#montessori #montessoriathome #montessoritoddler

[@MariaandMontessori]

There's a saying in Russian "woe from knowledge" meaning the more you know, the harder it can be. With all the resources we have at our literal fingertips, taking a step back and observing or letting our child be has become harder to do! I want to add on about playgrounds because with the warmer weather we have spent all but 30 minutes of our awake not-eating time on playgrounds! And I don't see it as "just" playground time. We have learned names of different birds, we're counting pinecones, she's learning impulse control in stopping before she runs into a swinging child, the slides are different colors so there's more motivation to actually say those colors...everything I would want her to work on with her shelf work, she is doing outside on the playground while moving her body!

[@relentlesslyawesomer]

Maria, this is so encouraging and thought provoking! Your insight is always appreciated. I keep getting so stressed about shelf work and that I’m doing it all wrong because she’s just interested in pretend play right now. I like the bit about doing the close-ended activities near her and letting FOMO take over, haha. I have to try that. She always wants to do whatever I’m working on. Why haven’t I thought of this? Спасибо!

[@Lexieplusthree]

I totally agree. There are so many learning opportunities for all my kids 3-13 on our walks to the park and while there. We can talk about houses being built that we pass, identifying insects, seeing all different vehicles, why playgrounds have sand, wood chips or foam under them etc., different breeds of dogs we pass, cleaning up our sidewalks and sorting trash/recycling - there is so much to teach from everyday life!

[@MariaandMontessori]

The open ended and pretend play materials can also end up being phenomenal "closed ended" works in hiding! Our shelf has received little love because we are very much into open ended and pretend play now. I sit with her and start doing some more closed ended options in case she's interested- sorting by color, making patterns, sorting by size, etc. Instead of "hey look what I'm doing!" I try to just sit and do...and let FOMO take over. Sometimes we spend all morning like this. Sometimes she looks at me like I'm crazy, takes her set of blocks and keeps playing by herself 🤣 But all developmentally appropriate!

[@fuenz1204]

My son loves playing with any kind of vehicle over any other activity! This was so helpful - now I have to get creative! Thank you!

[@nataliebeurskens2806]

I needed this video so badly today! My son has been all about his cars while I want him to focus on other activities. This gave me new ideas and a new perspective, THANK YOU!

[@Songofthestitchblog]

I love these suggestions. I had to take some creative approaches with my eldest! As a toddler trains were his all-consuming passion (he still loves them now tbh) so I tailored so many activities to suit that. We used to use a toy engine shed with doors that closed to get him doing fine motor work and object permanence, we used the different coloured engines to do colour matching activities, and when he started to show an interest in numbers it just so happened that the engines from Thomas the Tank Engine had numbers on their tenders (with an explanation that real engines do not have faces 😂). Plus putting a track together is basically a jigsaw puzzle!

[@lesliehoward3597]

Loved this! My 20 month old is returning to her shelf after a long period of gross motor focus and pretend play with her baby doll. I definitely struggled with directing her to activities and I was constantly reminding myself to just give her the freedom to choose she's drawn to. After letting go and embracing it, I'm noticing that her play is more diverse than ever. I'm observing more and noticing her hands as she works with fine motor activities, does art, plays with her baby doll, and engages in practical life with me around our home. It's absolutely fascinating! As I dive into learning about Montessori homeschool, I am blown away by the power of observation and how taking a step back has changed my perspective and how she plays.

[@limiwa]

Great video, thank you! My 18 month old son just wants to run, climb, throw a ball, play with little cars or random household objects. We go outside as much as possible where he enjoys feeding our chickens or helping with yard work. I love the suggestion to use their current interests to incorporate all learning areas.

[@hisloveiseternal1]

My 2 year old boy is like this too :)

[@limiwa]

@@hisloveiseternal1 Boys are so active! I swear he never stops moving, lol. He definitely keeps me on my toes 😅

[@AlicjaRaczko]

I also have the impression that often as parents we fixate on what we consider the only right way and we do not see that there are other options as well. We tried Montessori in various ways, but the further we went, then more we saw that it was not for us. We chose waldorf padagogy and now the whole family flourished. For a friend, the forest kindergarten worked very well. It is worth looking around for other ways of teaching / educating ☺️

[@HapaFamily]

We all have to do what works for our own families. I’m glad you found something that feels right for you! ❤️

[@cocowhite588]

Hi there, do you have any advice for the rainbow? I know is totally Waldorf but we have one and is the less use thing in our home. I have seen comments saying something similar. I suppose is for older kids and that’s why my toddler is not interested at all on it, because one time we had some visits and there was a 6 year old girl who had the time on her life🌈♥️. I also saw other comments that you need to teach your child how to use it but that doesn’t make any sense to me because kids know how to play with anything LOL 😅.

[@AlicjaRaczko]

@@cocowhite588 We do not have it ourselves (it is very expensive in Poland), but what I noticed is that it is mainly used for imaginary games. For example, it will be used as bridges for cars. Used together with (I don't know what it's called) a flat rainbow (?) You can build houses and play with peg dolls in them. So it is unlikely to be used in Montessori. Unless to learn the order of the colors in the rainbow. When it comes to children's imaginations, the my theory is that the more life experiences a child has, the greater the imagination is. For example, our son (2,5y) has never had contact with airplanes. Only what he saw in the sky. So he never tried to play "the airport". So day my husband showed him that it is possible to build an airport, that there is such a thing as a control tower and planes can carry cars, the pilot says different things and our son has been playing at the airport by himself since then. Going the other way, our son has a lot of experience with cars and loves them, so even his fingers can be a racing car for him.

[@relentlesslyawesomer]

Ashley, I haven’t even watched this yet, but I swear you are a mind-reader. Your content is always directly applicable to what’s going on with us. I’m part of your Montessori community, and it has very seriously been life-changing for us. Thank you for your heart and passion. You’ve inspired us.

[@trishahutchinson3485]

Ashley you have found your life’s work! You are so helpful and I love your new book. Thank you for all you do to help us.

[@agrubbs7496]

I love how your brain works! All those car examples were so genius. My kid is obsessed with wheels but not cars per se. I’m going to think of some ways to incorporate it more

[@hannahmitchell7309]

My son likes science and isn’t interested in art, which I like. Learning what my son likes has helped so much.

[@rachelstrode652]

Great video!! Could you do a new positive discipline video for toddler tantrums/ meltdown?

[@macairaking4102]

Wow! This couldn’t be a better timed video. I was just asking this question. 😆

[@philippapay4352]

Thank you for explaining ways we can be more observant and make all their playthings more adaptable.

[@GrowingIntuitiveEaters]

You make such a great point about paying attention to your child's particular interests! I am always eyeing all the cute Instagram activities but critically thinking about my kids' current interests helps decide if those are ACTUALLY a good fit!

[@jenniferjackson2509]

Thank you so much for this. This made me feel better regarding my baby’s development. She is only interested in gross motor and not so much fine motor as of now. Thankful for you, your time and your education. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@relentlesslyawesomer]

What about when your child uses the shelf work as a pretend play item or mixes shelf works together? She’s definitely having fun and being creative so I’m cool with that. But after she realizes she can make a pretend play activity with it, it is only ever used for that going forward. So the shelf work never ends up being shelf work

[@littlemushie]

Im curious about this too !!!

[@sallybee3560]

I love to combine gross motor skills (e.g. going on nature walks) with fine motor skills (e.g. investigate some plants or shovel sand on the playground).

[@mixed_and_nerdy]

Great video and GREAT information! I’ve noticed the “favoritism” of toys a lot as a teacher and your right you can’t make them focus on something if they don’t want to. But you can be creative and help incorporate it into other activities!

[@Leanneishere]

While observing I like to fold laundry or look at a book. I think my daughters would feel self conscious if they notice I’m watching 😂 Or they would interact with me and lose their focus on their work. But observation has been a great way to find their interests

[@vickylewis8558]

This is making me feel better! I'm nannying for a 15 month old who has ZERO interest in anything but toddling around outside. It's making me feel bad that our activities are so one sided - I can't even interest him in sand play or whatever outside. He just wants to be on the move!

[@deidrecrawford4208]

You are so creative. Thank you for inspiring me to really think outside the box.

[@theblessedbarnard8876]

I had my fingers crossed you’d mention cars. My daughters obsession with construction vehicles is unreal

[@taylorgentle4621]

Thank you SO MUCH for this video. It's been hard to get my kiddo to focus on shelf work (or anything that isn't Magnatiles honestly) and these were all really great ideas that I will be implementing. I always look forward to these videos and appreciate your insight and creativity into new ways to engage our kids. Thank you for all your do Ashley! Also I just bought my first product from Montessori & Me and I'm so excited to give it to my Son for easter! Thanks to Mike as well!

[@HapaFamily]

So glad you found it helpful! And I hope he loves the new Montessori & Me materials! :)

[@mama2meditate375]

Magnatiles are life at our house too 😂

[@taylorgentle4621]

@@HapaFamily Our counting peg board came in like 30mins after I commented this and it’s beautiful! Can’t wait to put it my kiddos Easter basket.

[@juanadealegria3081]

I'm working with my granddaughter. She likes dancing. She's 16 months old. I get her attention when I sing and make the actions while I sing.

[@cocowhite588]

You are the best Ashley! Thank you so much for this, it was extremely informative. Moreover I’m half through your book and so far I’m loving it!!!! Thank you for all your work ♥️.

[@TheMizzfye]

Really love this topic!! Thank you very much! 😍 really help me to be aware and observe my children..

[@robynnyip505]

This was SO good. Came at such a perfect time for me. thank you!

[@ellatippo]

These tips are excellent, thank you. VIDEO REQUEST: I’d love to learn more about the books, resources, etc you use for teaching and managing emotions 🤞

[@MartaD8009]

Greate video. Thank you. You are awsome.

[@myramargolin]

Hi. We have been watching your videos religiously for over a year and love them. I'd love to know how you actually shoot the videos. How do you manage to change lenses while you're with the kids? How do you get such clear and well-framed shots of yourself while being active with the kids? Is love to see what your set-up looks like. Extra lights? Microphones? Thanks for all you do?

[@kathrynswan6423]

Thanks for posting this! My son is very much one of those kids who much prefers gross motor/nature/sensory over sitting and completely and activity (he will once in awhile) but it’s hard to get him to do it frequently and I thought I was doing something wrong!

[@limiwa]

My 1.5 yr old son is the same! He's all about running, climbing, throwing (etc) and being outside. It's very difficult to get him to sit for an activity.

[@user-ks9rr6jl4c]

Thank you SO much for this video! 💗 😀

[@MichouBeauty]

My son is definitely all about movements and sensory right now, he will not sit any longer than 2 minutes for anything 🤣 thanks for this video, i meant to ask these questions

[@lauray760]

This is the perfect video for my toddler! She loves practical life activity but she isn’t that interested in activities. For instance, she doesn’t care that much about her lovevery toys yet. She does love water pouring though l!

[@caitlin9823]

My daughter is 2.5 years old and is super into pretend play! She hardly touches her shelf work or uses the items in her imaginary play.

[@HapaFamily]

Kylie and Mia are super into pretend play, too. It’s normal, and I don’t worry about it in the slightest. They still come back around to their shelf work every once in a while when they’re ready for it, and especially when I provide something that clearly speaks to an inner developmental need - but otherwise, as long as they’re not hurting themselves, others, or the materials/environment… I just let them be! ☺️

[@AG-hx6qn]

Same here for my 3 year old. XD I was incredibly obnoxious with setting up an almost full kitchen to go with the Melissa and Doug diner amongst other things. But when she does stop at the shelf or go out of her way, she does seem very interesting. ._.

[@brigittabottlik7042]

Wow, what a useful video! Thank you :)

[@alissacostabile3140]

Any ideas about a love for doors? My 31 month old has been in love with doors since about 15 months old. I have a house with keys he will play with and a latches board and now a latches barn. But now his main interest is his large Hess trucks that have doors that open and close and he loves the open play with them ... Opening the trunk, rolling the small car out, lining them up nicely in parking spaces or under chairs (in garages). His other love right now is magnetic blocks. Every once in awhile he will go to his activity shelf but sometimes he will avoid the whole shelf for 3 days at a time. I know this is partly just him but partly needing better shelf ideas.

[@lyndseydalton5156]

Despite my best efforts of keeping things Simple & rotating .. my daughter (27 months) would much rather read, run/jump/climb, or play with stuffed animals or baby dolls. I’ve noticed she always “struggles” with independent play, even though we have a set up to encourage it.

[@jll7624]

New upload!🤍

[@jasminm8784]

My children love shelf work. However, the moment I turn away from them they start ripping everything out and they spread and hide it all over the house. No matter how hard I explain to them how we use the materials or how hard I try to encourage /help /"discipline" them to clean up, it doesn't get better. Then I stop shelf work because it stresses me out and when I try it again, it happens again. Do you have any thoughts on that or a secret tip you can share? Kids are 4 and 2 years old. Thank you so much!

[@mama2meditate375]

Maybe a “hide and find” activity? My son went through a phase where he loved to hide his toys under pillows or blankets, and immediately find it and then hide it again, repeat. Maybe create an activity where they hide something, similar to the beans/rice activities that Ashley mentioned, but have it be structured/overseen? Or have them hide a specific toy in the house and play hot and cold with you. That would be a great opportunity for vocabulary, “Is it under the table? Is it inside the fridge?”

[@jasminm8784]

@@mama2meditate375 Thank you, that sounds like a great idea. I will definitely try that!

[@melody_shmelody]

Something else I think is worth considering that Ashley mentions sometimes is that if your child is attending a preschool or daycare that is Montessori or does a lot of these activities you do not need to do them at home. We felt so silly when we realized the reason my kid wasn’t into his coin box or some other things was because he had mastered it at daycare. Oops.

[@yeseniasosa5362]

How about when they prefer the music/light-up non-montessori toys? I try to rotate them out but feel bad about it cause she just loves them so much.

[@shellygreen3014]

Montessori method is not for everyone….read about all educational methods and use a mix of methods ….my son and daughter went to Montessori school and while my daughter thrived, my son never left free play on the carpet

[@r3b3lutions]

This is interesting for me to read. Having followed Hapa Family for most of my 2.5 year old's life, I've struggled to make Montessori at home work for us. He won't play with things one-at-a-time nor will he help return things to their places. He grabs at new activities before getting a chance to observe so he doesn't know how they're done. He wants to help prep meals but ends up just eating during food prep which has turned into major snack/mealtime/bedtime challenges. His obsession has been trucks trucks trucks trucks since I can remember, so any shelf work I try gets scooped and dumped into a dump truck. LOL. He's such a capable kid so I feel like I've just created this unnecessary mess of things. In a recent video Ashley said as her kids are older she's changed her setup to be more like zones in the room (art corner, building blocks corner, etc) and I realized that's actually the way I had been drifting anyway, and seeing that video was the permission I needed to go full ahead with it. I'm trying shelf work one more time with my 6 month old but it seems it's not for everyone. It's food for thought as I consider whether or not to send my toddler to a Montessori preschool. I don't know the right answer for him.

[@melody_shmelody]

That’s interesting to me because the theory is that by following the child, Montessorians meet the child’s individual needs and interests.

[@noorummyusuf]

I love this video but... I can't ignore your teeth! 😍 Please give us an update, it seems so worth it!

[@nataliealon3877]

Hi Ashley, I'd like your opinion about this: I think that my child is having a hard time connecting the activities after I'm rotating. It seems like she doesn't like new stuff. I can see she gets open to it in time. I'm not sure if I'm getting it all wrong and offer her things she doesn't like. If you were me, how would you test it?

[@maidnDREA]

I can’t watch until my lunch later but I’m still so excited and pressing like !! ❤️❤️

[@HapaFamily]

❤️❤️❤️

[@joseemartel5275]

Hello Ashley, how could I setup a play area for a child with special needs at 6 years old and a 6 months old baby. The more I see your videos the more I think this might be so beneficial for both my kids but I feel a bit overwhelmed on how to setup. Also, how do you control screen time? I would love to get rid of this but I know for the time being my child relies on it to self regulate. Do you have anything I could follow? Does your book also include special needs topics? Thank you so much for your help!

[@cherryblossom0426]

😇👍🏻 great video!

[@apsaragautam7263]

Hey beautiful lady I have been following you from my pregnancy journey and now my little one is 18 month since I have few queries how can I contact you in personal so that you can help me

[@jillblankenberg1729]

Good day If one wants to get in touch with u... how do I go about it

[@rachelgilbert3164]

Great video, thank you!

[@JESSICAROSE-ny9yj]

Love this video. It has me wondering if you might have any advise for my 4year old who is currently obsessed with pretend play using figurings/ stuffed animals or even sticks, rocks, leaves if she's not brought a toy outside. It's been going on for at least 6mo maybe longer. This extends to every aspect of life. We can often times distract her by suggesting games, puzzles, art etc but it always goes back to pretend play. Perhaps I wouldn't view it as an "issue" except that she wants someone to pretend play with her at all times. She has moments where she does it on her own but they are few and far between. It's the ONLY thing she wants to do. I always make sure to give her at least 30min per day where I sit and engage in this play with her, but it's down right exhausting. We do homeschool and she has always been very bright for her age. I also have an 8mo old and am generally super busy doing what I would call "homesteading” sort of things, baking canning, gardening etc... Along with running the house. Hubs is out of the house 50-60hrs per week. Hubs also makes a point spend time engaging in this play usually for a hr or two on his days off 2x per week. Sorry this is so long winded, just really love ur channel and advise u give and this video felt spot on with what we've been going through lately

[@mikerwinfan]

Have you tried paper dolls or doll houses she can design herself? She could set up near you while you tell her you’re taking time for yourself. Also maybe you could try a timer that you and her agree on a time and she starts it. She has to play alone until the timer goes off then she can show you what she’s done or include you in the play.

[@JESSICAROSE-ny9yj]

No I haven't, good idea! What is a doll house she can design herself? Are well talking home made or something purchased? That another good idea about the timer I will try that thanks for the suggestions.

[@mikerwinfan]

@@JESSICAROSE-ny9yj I use the timer with my 3 year old and it works great! We started with 5 or 10 min and now are up to 20. You could DIY a cardboard or shoebox dollhouse and let her paint it. Or you can buy. We bought the Melissa and Doug wooden dollhouse and let her paint it. There are a ton of kits online too, but she might be more just into making up doll stories than she would be building the house. We do lots of doll play and she plays independently. You can make paper or rag dolls or buy. We bought small wooden dolls. They get a lot of use!

[@limiwa]

My daughter was similar at that age, super creative. We called anyone who she convinced to play pretend with her her "play slave" 😂 She's 14 now, still very bright and loves writing, arts, and theater 🥰

[@cutielittle1]

my kid isnt interested in anything other than vehicles, physical play n cartoons.