Moonhorse Reads: "A One Star Review For Haribo Sugar Free Gummy Bears"

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[@beatrixthegreat1138]

I read the title out loud and my kid goes “okay, play it, let it rip”

[@grinningweirdo4888]

Imagine the poor agent stumbling onto this after his mates joking about a one star gummy bear review

[@roku3216]

I laughed so hard, tears and snot happened, and the neighbor's light came on.

[@addicted2mako]

I’ve heard someone read this before so I knew what was coming... but even hearing again was just as horrifyingly hilarious as it was now! Someone in the comments already brought it up, but it was them switching the sugar with sugar *alcohol* that brought this upon the poor sod. That’s why the taste hadn’t changed much from the sugar version. The body knows it’s toxic, so it draws out fluids to the stomach flush it out.

[@mizuria]

There’s another famous one floating around about a guy who doubted the power of the evil gummy bear and his porcelain throne paid the ultimate price. Never again have I been able to accept any gummy bears offered to me for fear I may inadvertently consume the very essence of hell those things embody.

[@beatrixthegreat1138]

I think I read one were a serviceman nearly got a court martial because they put these out for a food thief to find. Lol 😂

[@Assassman688]

That was a tale to rival the odyssey

[@iCatsLove1]

This boy straight up wrote a fan-fiction about how sugar-free gummy bears give him the shits because satan! I love these reviews!

[@nurgleschosen8145]

There a man on youtube who ate a giant toddler sized bag of Haribo suger free gummy bears. Lets just say that he not only tasted the rainbow, he thew up the rainbow and it came out like a waterfall through the other end as well. He actuall had quite a distance from the toilet but still nanaged an impacable level of accuracy (he throws up often) and it was a literal rainbow.

[@Busterkeatonrules]

Dang, I thought this was going to be a different one-star review of Haribo Sugar Free Gummy Bears. (A pleasant surprise, as the one I was thinking of has already been covered by Brendaniel.) Yup, there are several such stories about this product, most of which may be found on its Amazon page. Fun fact: The problematic ingredient has since proven very effective for cleaning firearms.

[@simplyaregularguy131]

Xylitol is an effective gun cleaner?

[@ShitkidOfJamrock]

A long term internet friend of mine passed away this week. Watching this together with the whole friend group was one of the most fond memories i ever held And now, as i split my sides laughing at this masterpiece of literature, within the back of my mind there lies a tinge of sadness. My respect to you, my brother. May whatever afterlife awaits have toilets innumerable and gummy bears plentiful and full sugar.

[@lanterns_glow]

Ah yes, sugar free gummy anything. Aka SMASH YOUR E BUTTON, CALL FOR MEDIC, 911 MEEEEDDDDIIIIC, MY ASS IS BURNIN

[@euro3234]

My family laughed so hard to this. It was great

[@kimmccollum7766]

I'm a diabetic, and I did have those hellacious bears. It's because of sugar alcohol you get the runs. I just eat 5 a day. Anymore than that and you got trouble.😂😂😂😂😂

[@fiver4ever]

This is a classic! I'm glad your friend sent it to you.

[@s.graham9951]

Well, he did tell them he had to go.

[@MeganKoumori]

If this is real: Artificial sweetners can act as a laxative (Mostly they just give me a migraine).

[@naerystullymolly8567]

Thank you River for making my dreams come true!

[@LunaP1]

Oh God, the nightmare of eating sugar free gummy bears.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@thegameknight8916]

Oh sweet Jesus. 🤣

[@SounnyKitty]

I've wanted him to read this for awhile.

[@MoonhorseTheHorse]

I finally did it! lmao

[@Lizalieu]

Vomit inducing and funny as hell.

[@larkhaven1582]

I've pretty much only eaten Haribo gummy bears all my life (cause the rest just doesn't taste good) and have survived, so either Germans have some kind of resistance to this or it's a sugar-free thing or this person just had really bad luck also I get excited every time I hear about Haribo in an international context cause they're from a town close by, and the name is literally short for Hans Riegel Bonn

[@rocknrevolt938]

Well that's just a shitty circumstances

[@natnerdz]

Totally off topic but what did you use for background music, I swear to god I’ve heard this tune in a Wallace and Gromit short.

[@MoonhorseTheHorse]

It's Brandenburg Concerto No4. I thought it was suitably classy, lol

[@natnerdz]

@@MoonhorseTheHorse Thanks. My nostalgia hit me like a ton of bricks as soon as I heard it so I had to know 😆

[@ladypup8724]

😆😆😆🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭😭

[@mikhailnekrasov6644]

I heard this one before. Fun fact: with current infection and intense handwashing, number of cases of intestinal and stomach infections fell dramatically, as people stopped eating food with dirty effing hands and then wondering why it feels bad when you mix nutrients in stomach with fast-growing bacteria from nature. Can only facepalm.

[@cherryperoxide]

this post was not made by IBS gang

[@starlight4649]

Sugar free stuff has sugar alcohols in it The reason they can call it sugar free is because sugar alcohols do not break down into sugars in your stomach or small intestine, and subsequently don't contribute significantly to blood sugar or caloric intake Because of this they are left to your existing large intestine fauna, which can break it down into gas and extra water Sugar alcohols also dissolve into water readily, which creates an osmotic gradient that pulls water from your body into your stool, which only adds to the impending intestinal power wash. I face palm at you, for pretending to understand what's going on. You're thinking of dysentery and cholera, or maybe food poisoning.

[@mikhailnekrasov6644]

@@starlight4649 sugar alcohols do have a minor laxative effect, but a rapid and violent reaction is usually caused by bacterial infections. And some bacteria can normally metabolize maltitol (the one in the gummy bears) unlike humans, with gelatin being an extra snack for rapid growth. So yeah, I'm thinking it's a food poisoning case due to poor hygiene.

[@derpkipper]

Sure a lot of these stories are probably fictional but that certainly shouldnt make them less entertaining These things do give u the shits tho even if this story was prolly embellished What happened to just enjoying a story for what it is: entertainment Lol

[@aaronharrison4248]

This whole thing 🤣🤣🤣 just 👌 aboslutely insane story. that poor kid, he'll probably never be right again. Never did I think the haribo bears had the capacity to do that to someone, especially when I had them all a time as a kid since I had a relative who worked at a haribo factory for a while, maybe you have to build up a tolerance first before just devouring them 😂 Great video Moonhorse!

[@SirFailsalot91]

Oh god, he's finally discovered it, the ultimate tale of horror and regret. May whatever religious icon of your choosing have mercy upon your soul, dear mortal.

[@LunaP1]

There are more stories like this.🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@MoonhorseTheHorse]

I must have them.

[@Busterkeatonrules]

@@MoonhorseTheHorse Here's a small selection. The long one is the one Brendaniel did, but hearing your own take on it would still be fun! www.businessinsider.com/reviews-haribos-sugarless-gummy-bears-2014-1?r=US&IR=T

[@annegriswold2116]

Oh I know this one, fair warning its not recommended to eat or perhaps even drink during this especially the later half it gets...pretty descriptive.

[@BallisticBudda]

Oh dear lord. I remember this....I can't believe this has been found again. I don't know if Moonhorse is scarred or not, if so, I deeply appreciate the fact that you took the time to read this review.

[@AdaptRogue]

WHY IS THIS SO DETAILED?!

[@DaniFox10000]

This just sounds like a weird fanfic. I wouldn't believe this if thare wasn't a news article on it

[@MoonhorseTheHorse]

I must find this article.

[@fludderkiddie]

Ah, yes, Sugar Alcohol... I feel their pain.

[@fludderkiddie]

This is Y most sugar free candy has warnings printed on the back... Don’t believe me? Check next time.

[@erikwilliam1254]

I spent a good amount of my day looking for horror stories involving these harmless seeming candies and kept getting this story. Low and behold here i am a couple of days later, i get this one again after hearing it twice from different channels already. But sense listening to the people reading this can't read through it without laughing in an amusing manner, i shall give it a listen from another channel i haven't heard tell it.

[@residentsleeper8639]

Bro had a daemon of Nurgle posses him LMAO

[@IvyMyki]

Most suger free candies have this effect, it usually states on the packaging that they have a laxative effect. I guess it's worse for gummy bears cos you eat so many of them. But watch out for suger free mints and chewing gums too!

[@InfernoBot]

I'm so excited you're finally reading these. :D

[@MoonhorseTheHorse]

I'll read pretty much anything that's sent to me, lol

[@rampanttomfckry]

I'm losing my fucking shit I'm trying not to be loud to wake up my neighbors but I'm losing it oh my fuck I should have read this during the bearing test in MCJROTC back in highschool I could have made everyone lose their shit

[@Tusskie]

Those poor,poor,poor officers

[@lizcat141]

He tried to warn them 😂

[@raydgreenwald7788]

Oh god this story....

[@awhaleofatime4651]

Oh god