Mortician, Embalmer, Death Doula & Forensic Scientist On The Cases That Stay With Them | Roundtable

[@LADbible]

Thank you to Carol, Martin, Katie and Deb for taking part in this episode. To learn more about Martin's work as an Embalmer, please visit this page: www.linkedin.com/in/martin-jeffrey-10962a23b To find out more about Katie's work as a Soul Midwife please visit her website: www.katiecsoulmidwife.com/

[@SharonODriscoll]

Really enjoyed this one could of listened to them all day ❤we are so lucky to have such wonderful people that take such pride in their jobs and make the last part of life for the people we love 😊

[@summervdv9344]

This reminds me of one of my favourite quotes: “I hope death is like being carried to your bedroom when you were a child and fell asleep on the couch during a family party. I hope you can hear the laughter from the next room.” - Lillies Unbounded It’s great knowing that there are people like this out there so dedicated to giving as much respect and peace as they can to those that pass.

[@Musika1321]

Society owes a great debt to these wonderful people. They are as important as those who bring us into this world.

[@katrabbit]

I think it's important to note that as the family members of the loved ones who've passed, we have a right to help prepare them for death. You can ask the mortician who is working with your loved one if you can take part in helping wash them, help with their makeup or hair care, and help dress them. Some morticians will offer first.

[@PamelaH_HappyVibes]

I LOVE the respect in this conversation. Every person on this round table wants to comfort the family in any way they can. Thank you, all!

[@garyfallows1123]

Huge respect to all of these people for their professionalism and empathy for how they do their job

[@ms.munchie46eats12]

I appreciate hearing the different stories I'm currently enrolling in school to become a Mortician. I'm excited to start helping people

[@sjanex]

I would like to do that, I even did work experience at a funeral home when I was 18. I never see Mortician job vacancies though here in the uk 😕

[@dinosaurwoman]

What their children said about death is absolutely beautiful. I love that they clearly understand what death is and why it isn't such a horrible thing.

[@Ruthy-F]

What an incredible bunch of people. I have so much respect for them ❤

[@opeyemiewumi3591]

I have always had a deep appreciation for people I have come to call "death practitioners". It is heartwarming to see people like these four lovely individuals who seem to still be in touch with their humanity despite having been involved in end of life professions for so long. Thank you for all you do!

[@lauramccoy8507]

Thank you for all your professionalism, kindness and skills.

[@southernrays8823]

This is one of the best round table discussions ever! They have so much to say and every single one of them has so much importance and impact on this plant. Just lots of love to all 4 of them! Great video!! Would love more JUST like this!

[@99jessj]

“I get people ready to go to heaven” that had me sobbing. What wonderful people and I commend the work you all do

[@agathabloom5579]

Beautiful Katie…. Lovely to see you sitting up there. You are as articulate, passionate and elegant as always!! You’re an amazing soul midwife/death doula and anyone would be fortunate to have you hold their hand through the dying process. Don’t forget I’ve booked you first before anyone jumps on the bandwagon 😉 xx Love Dawny x

[@jupitersmoon3814]

Fantastic people. Absolute admiration for them all.

[@samanthahughes7783]

My gran died of a metastasised cancer, it took her a long time to die, and she was in a lot of pain. Several times, to different doctors, she told them that if she was a dog, she’d of been to the vet a long time ago. I definitely advocate choice.

[@tureq85]

I agree, I don't understand why we can be more compassionate towards animals than humans. Recently I had to put the dog down after discovering an aggressive kind of cancer, we got 24 hours together. No point in my GSD suffering. If this was my daughter, I would have done the same thing, why would I want my daughter to suffer? I thought you can get some sort of court order in terminal cases to switch life support off?

[@samanthahughes7783]

@@tureq85 I think the person has to be proven to be both brain dead and unable to live without the machines, but if there is brain activity, even if it’s the brain screaming, I don’t think it’s allowed. You can have a DNR (do not resuscitate) order, in which medical intervention to keep you alive isn’t allowed.

[@Ruth78620]

Me too. I watched my father die from prostate cancer and it was awful as wonderful as the care team were. If I ever get a terminal illness when I start getting sick I'm going to Switzerland or do it myself. I don't want my kids to see me like that and I don't want to suffer when the end result is going to be the same.

[@samanthahughes7783]

@@Ruth78620 I have the exact same thought. I’m already on enough painkillers to drop a horse (really am, I have a major spinal problem) so I’ll just get really high, fall asleep, not wake up. There is no way on this planet I would make people who love me go through that. And they would understand, too. I’d have a massive party, then go.

[@PRCOM]

This was a real eye opener, upmost respect to all in this video

[@Kitty-x3p]

im in tears watching this, such strong people, angels just like our doctors and nurses xx

[@danielkarmy4893]

I am glad, and grateful beyond description, that Martin doesn't know what could possibly make somebody suicidal. I'm grateful beyond description for all of you who also don't know, and I hope you never, ever have to know. The more people in this world who never have to know how it feels, the better.

[@Ruth78620]

Agreed. It's not a feeling you'd wish on anyone.

[@annarosedeleonguerrero505]

These four are so professional, so empathetic, and so humble. Thank you to all four of you for what you do. And I agree- I think death is the start of another adventure.

[@tureq85]

My heart goes out to the lady who does make up for the deceased. My mum was in intensive care for two month before passing away. I will never forget going to hospital's morgue to confirm the transport to funeral's parlor, when my sister and I looked at my mum we were just stunned, she looked beautiful, I still remember her face & hair all done up. Poor morgue employee initially thought they brought the wrong body out based on our initial reaction!! Thanks to this person we decided to have a open casket funeral where everybody could see my mum looking beautiful and say goodbye.

[@lilylolly8757]

All incredibly skilled people in their own ways. Really interesting interview-thank you.

[@bozenawroblewski5137]

Thank you for this wonderful people ❤.

[@nicola7609]

Fascinating conversation. Would've liked to hear a little more from the lady who did makeup side of things. Thanks all 4 of you ❤

[@MithrilMagic]

As someone who did social work for over 15 years and grew up in a family of morticians and funeral directors, these individuals are absolutely correct in their statement about how taboo the subject death is in the western world. Death is not a secret. It’s the thing that we all have in common. I was there when my grandmothers, my godmother and my father passed away: for my grandmothers and my godmother, death came as a relief after years of dialysis and chemotherapy and surgery after surgery. Their deaths were peaceful and beautiful. My father had a massive heart attack and was dead before he hit the floor. It was completely unexpected and I was not prepared. Not by a long shot. It’s been a little over a year and my grief is still tearing me apart. But I am glad I was there. Death eclipses everything, death is the great equalizer and the most profound moment of a life. Thank you to these very special people who treat the dead with respect, compassion and kindness.

[@gnarbeljo8980]

Truly a most valuable dialogue to listen to. I feel such gratitude to all these people in service to humanity itself, and the human beings they help. Invaluable to our society today, so focused on performance and aquisition, there's no room for preparing people for death, and it's swept away, under the carpet, out of sight and mind, until it happens. And it does. To everyone. Eventually. And so many today, face it alone. The grief, fear, rage, guilt, regrets, pain, the unanswered questions, unknown territory for most people. Death whilst being the most mystical transformation of all living existance, is also so very tangible, physical irretractable. All of these wonderful people do such incredibly important work. Listening to their profound insights and respect for human life and passing has been a great privilege. Thank you! ❤🙏

[@ankra12]

These amazing people are doing such a wonderful and important job ❤

[@nicolalang5603]

This is a great video, and I'd like to throw in a comment based on my own experience of suicide. The narrative is often around the person who's died not having had someone to talk to, or feeling that they are a burden. For me, it was about suffering, and I wish people could see the parallel between mental and physical pain and give mental suffering the same respect. You don't want someone who has cancer to suffer, the pain is terrible for their loved ones to experience. When you are so depressed that you attempt or do, take your life, you just want your suffering to end. I didn't feel a burden at all. It wasn't about anyone else. I just wanted the years of pain to end. I hope this helps people perhaps to understand why.

[@jeffreychandler8418]

This is an amazing video. I do want to speak a bit on "why suicide" as someone that has been suicidal with morbid curiosities in death etc. The way I saw it is that "yes, all of these people would be sad, but they couldn't be bothered to care when I lived." Which, to me, isn't love nor care. And I don't necessarily see people showing up to a funeral as proving that thesis wrong. To me, love is more than just knowing about someone. I know my dad and brother would be sad over my death for the rest of their lives, but that is because those were the people that genuinely cared during my life. But that friend I made that hasn't responded to texts for years? sure they may be sad, but that's hardly anything tangible when they can't be bothered in life. The other thing about "why suicide" I want to mention is, atleast for me, it came from a place of severe loneliness (in more ways than just "i have no friends") and an inability to cope with that crushing weight. Hell, I still get angry and flustered and the like when someone starts talking either about or with my triggers. But at my worst, when people triggered that it just further enshrined this idea of "you are not meant for this world, none of these people care, they are lying, and they betrayed me." And honestly, I still sort of feel that way. I'm just more capable of pushing it to the side and trying to ease my pain, even if it is terribly isolated.

[@lucymccarter1580]

Biggest thing me and my friends have ever done is when our friend passed away and he had a 'Irish funeral' where a body is kept at home for 3 days before the funeral and his dad asked us to do his make up,as he would hate the way anyone else did it. We all joined together even though we were heartbroken but we did it,made him proud. Fair play to these people for everything they do ❤

[@angstaples]

5:20 --"He stopped eating..." This point is so important-- when my father was dying there was a lot of discussion around feeding tubes,etc. Not even the social worker understood that we should leave him be. I only knew from my own extensive research. This can be so painful for families to understand as they feel they are giving up on their loved one. In reality, the kindest, most loving thing to do is to let them go. There is pain relief available, you can be their advocate for their comfort. 💖💖💖

[@Lubomishka92]

These people are amazing and we can only hope that when our end comes in whatever circumstance, that we are taken care of by professionals like these❤

[@thrashhippie]

This is amazing. Thank you all for sharing your knowledge. More people need to be aware of death, it should not be a scary thing. It’s always going to be hard if it’s someone close but I think death needs to be an open discussion that includes children so there isn’t a fear of the unknown.

[@maryremchuk2484]

What an amazing group of people!

[@NebulaBull]

LadBible did great with bringing these four people together, Im hoping for more from them!

[@Brendan-y6q]

incredible work incredible people thank ye all

[@Ruth78620]

Im from Glasgow and i vividly remember the Angelika Kluk murder. My job was driving at the time and i had to go past that church and seeing all the police and forensics was terrifying then it came out it was Peter Tobin who was calling himself Pat McLaughlin.

[@janmarchand7294]

I'm 64 and I remember going to a lot of funerals as a child. It was very hard when my grandfather died when I was 10, but it was a chance to be with all my cousins who I didn't see very often also. That's a child's view of funerals, on some level it was sad, but there was playtime also because these were big funerals. They waked my grandfather for 2 and a half days because he was such a popular figure in the community, and now they do everything in one day. I wasn't affected one way or the other, and people shielding children from this forget that kids are on their own wavelength and can handle quite a lot. We kept my mother at home and were all present when she passed and it was a beautiful thing because she had suffered with cancer on and off for years, and that suffering was over side note, the Mortician who picked Momma up, was the younger brother of her friend whose house she would visit often. They lived in the funeral home which the younger brother took over. So he knew Momma personally and assured me he was taking her home one last time. Wonderful out outcome for a very sad time, he was absolutely lovely. He and his sister both came to her funeral and I had the chance to chat with them and talk about Momma when she was a little girl. Just wonderful.. Thank you to all the people out there who help us deal with a very sad time in our lives.

[@toagoodhome46]

This was so good to watch, thank you 🙏🏻

[@Maggot_infestedd]

The mortician looks so cool!

[@abainimarama]

❤ Thank You 🙏🏽 Thank You 🌟 Thank You ❤ Much Respect And Appreciation From New Zealand ❤️

[@beverlylumley4150]

Beautiful video

[@xKayx5]

Amazing people

[@southernrays8823]

I know Carol will never see this, but the man you spoke about that killed the little boy, he got life, but with a minimum of 20 years. And he’s up for parole! His own father has said how he thinks this monster should never get out. He was in jail I believe when they found out he killed the little boy. So awful! I can’t find anything saying if he got parole or not. But I pray he didn’t. Because his father seems to think he was locked up with the killer of the other murder you spoke about. And someone else that was a child molester. Such an awful waste of a human. I can’t believe it’s been so long since that little boys death. He would be 28/29 now.

[@holliejane3605]

That bin chute case I’ve watched a documentary on. Truly horrific

[@indiasaffronx]

I hate how that the makeup artist was constantly overtalked by the embalmer

[@PepperTheDeadly]

I need Ask a Mortician to react to this video DESPERATELY

[@lrmgrl]

They all have difficult jobs. What struck me is the forensic investigator who talked about being in work mode and compartmentalizing the events. Having worked a similar career, that's how we survive. The problems begin once your work is done and reality has a chance to haunt you. They are literally giving away tiny pieces of their soul to help others who are experiencing the worst time in their life.

[@PaulH_1972]

Lost my dad 7yrs ago. He died 3 weeks after diagnosis #pancreaticcanceraction

[@dahkneelah]

Yes, we have become disconnected from death. The problem is that we are divorced from life, living and the process of lifecycles. I once heard that the indigenous population thought that settlers had a disease and I've wondered if that meant the disconnection "white" people had from life and death and the need they had to possess things in life.

[@Dzkhadouj]

Love your comment

[@keeganbrown9092]

You're a sweet man ❤

[@ashleycromar113]

That doula can’t half talk, everyone else canna get a word in edgeways 😂

[@boneitch]

Who does the first lady on the left remind me of? She looks like an actor or presenter?

[@dylanlee3280]

She reminds me of Jodie Whitaker a bit

[@boneitch]

@dylanlee3280 Yes that's it ! Thanks!

[@karen7587]

The itv news presenter

[@scrappydooxx8539]

Do you not think it would psychologically mess up kids heads at an early age

[@pcastromedina]

Where is Victor?

[@DisasterxUs]

3:00 most English speaking people seem scared to even say someone "died." I can't stand the euphemism "passed away."

[@Dzkhadouj]

Very enlightening and interesting conversation but I was getting annoyed at Martin talking over people.

[@ebridgewater]

The death doula is a wee bit fit.

[@nataliabennett8157]

yeah sorry but ive been suicidal for years. on and off. usually ita because im lonely. i dont think id have more than three people turn up for my funeral. and thats because it would be my parents and my brother. who dont even speak to me.

[@soundhead6971]

Bet they don't do much?

[@Phobero]

What the hell is a death doula? 😅

[@Mermare]

That's not funny. It's like spiritual hospice.

[@Phobero]

That's even funnier 😂

[@evecyn]

I think a death doula is a made up job. Loved the others but didn’t take to the doula

[@danilepley]

To be fair, every job was a made up job at one point. And they're "made up" (or created) because there's a need for them. Death doulas are used everyday and they're very helpful for a lot of people and whether it's the norm yet or not I think that help is valuable.

[@KayosHybrid]

It’s kind of like hospice nurse, but it’s giving company to the dying and preparing their body for a wake after death. Decomposition takes a couple days to fully begin in a way anyone would notice- I saw my Nan’s body one or two days after she had died at home, being cared for by her adult daughters and adult grandchildren. That’s similar to doula work I suppose, keeping someone company if they don’t have anyone else to take care of them.

[@KayosHybrid]

@@jiujitsuboyshe’s young and enthusiastic about her work, I think. She’s still sprite and full of pep bc her work isn’t morbid. It seems out of tune next to forensics and reconstruction.

[@boneitch]

It can be quite an important job. And the only one of the 4 that could be there for you while you're still alive. Dying is a lonely process, and having someone there to guide you through that, I think, can be so valuable

[@nancysmits8087]

Stupid comment, they are all equally helpful.