Mountains of Quartz

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In this video we return to Namaqualand, South Africa to see Tree Aloes, Avonia (papery worm-like succulent bastards), Kewa (a member of Caryophyllales that doesn't produce betalain pigments), Conophytum jucundum (a weird green succulent that looks like an eyeball), Al Scorch's timing belt woes, Ogden Avenue, a termite colony, and 4 different species of the genus Crassula.
Your contributions support this content. It sounds clichéd, but it's true. Whether it's travel expenses, vehicle repair, or medical costs for urushiol poisoning (or rockfalls, beestings, hand slices, toxic sap, etc), your financial support allows this content to continue so the beauty of Earth's flora can be made accessible to the rest of us in the degenerate public. At a time when so much is disappearing beneath the human footprint, CPBBD is willing to do whatever it takes to document these plant species and the ecological communities they are a part of before they're gone for good.
Plants make people feel good. Plants quell homicidal (and suicidal!) thoughts. To support Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't, consider donating a few bucks to the venmo account "societyishell" or the PayPal account email [e-mail]...
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Thanks, GFY.

[@briantomcollins]

Keep goin with Al... these are seriously the only ads i watch all the way thru. You da man Al, keep yer head up, stay safe.

[@katiekane5247]

Ogden Ave was pretty sketchy back in the day, doubt it's gotten better.

[@CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt]

It hasn't.

[@renafarted9075]

I must have watched the coffee ad 5 times. He's got a fresh angle and deserves an award of some kind. It was fun to see Al as I was previously introduced in song

[@renafarted9075]

Hey, I think I'll watch that song and ad again!

[@LukeMcGuireoides]

Yeah, me too. Hes so great lol

[@daniellerichardson5900]

It's interesting to see so many of these plants in their natural habitat rather than here in California planted outside of the McMansions just waiting to become horticultural atrocities. I'm pretty stoked to rethink the soil composition on some of my potted succs now that I have a better idea of their natural habitat.

[@JH-6]

come for the education, stay for the commercials thanks Tony and Al

[@LukeMcGuireoides]

😂 The only ads I'll EVER watch

[@herbbirdsfoot]

Looks like you squeezed in this trip to Africa in the nick of time!🙏🏾

[@davidkaplan2745]

"It has been said, and truly, that everything in the desert either stings, stabs, stinks, or sticks. You will find the flora here as venomous, hooked, barbed, thorny, prickly, needled, saw-toothed, hairy, stickered, mean, bitter, sharp, wiry, and fierce as the animals." Edward Abbey

[@LukeMcGuireoides]

If you asked someone to imagine what plants from outer space would look like, somethings similar to these are what they would come up with. Plants like these. These plants are so bizarre!!! Evolution is more beautiful than any god humans could imagine. Our planet is an intergalactic miracle and we're just pissing it away

[@raymondbizot8893]

i’m glad you were there to yell at the termites

[@raymondbizot8893]

@17:30

[@chezmoi42]

Red letter day for them, they marked it on their calendar. Not often they catch an apparition like Tony.

[@ianmackenzie212]

Lol I love Al's little ad segments

[@hobolupo7750]

Al could just have a channel where all he did was run ads and I'd watch. Love that guys energy.

[@OkNoBigDeal]

Checking in to see if there is any advertisements, I only watch this channel for the commercials now. Wren, nice.

[@Cannabissssh]

I loved this episode SO much! Thank you, you are amazing, Tony. Aizoaceae and all mesembs are my favorite, next to cactus. I enjoy growing mesembs from seed by hand pollenating their flowers. Their flowers envoke a feeling like no other than cannabis can do fer me. I live in Pennsylvania, so horticulturally, I give my expansive collection the best life I possibly can, so I can appreciate their beauty for years and years. Sucks - I gotta bring everything indoors, under grow lights over the winter. I would probably get emotional and cry, had I ever visited Australia or S.Africa- with the frickin BEAUTY!!! It's just everywhere there! Thanks for allowing us to enjoy them via the KZbin. Keep em comin', brothA! Hugs from Pocono Region, PA

[@AufBerghofNAM]

🤘🏽 Namibia's always gonna be there! ... we have no idea what the rainy season is going to be like ... we'll only know on the 18th of December, and then the rain falls bi-weekly on average until April, sporadically around the country... but the emergence thereafter .... maltahoe, other lillies + more. 500km until the kokerboom forest, too

[@lucazsy]

21 minutes never went past this fast. Amaizng plants and comments.

[@SB.y82]

Thank you Tony👍 I have been watching your channel for a year or so, you're knowledge and passion for plants and interconnected creatures is inspiring....however your ability to be yourself while living and sharing your passion is the reason I keep watching and enjoying. Respect from Tasmania

[@NNKRRbeats]

Your videos set the parenthesis in my day.

[@boa9535]

“Don’t threaten me with a good time.” We’ve got to put these quotes on tshirts.

[@Arelenedhel]

It’s not a phrase unique to him.

[@st1LeOG]

It's a popular phrase amongst the Chicago working class. Particularly those of Italian decent.

[@boa9535]

@@st1LeOG, I didn’t know that. Thank you.

[@TSZatoichi]

I'm just in awe at that entire mountain being made up of quartz, I don't think I've ever seen that before, pretty cool.

[@CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt]

Quartzite, technically. Which is a product of metamorphic activity. But still very cool.

[@T3sl4]

They're not so rare, I think? We have a few here in WI, including our only mountain in fact (if you can call it that). Only shit hard enough to withstand the last couple eons of glaciers. Devil's Lake, too. This was an interesting area, geologically speaking, about 1.6 billion years ago... basically nothing but sediments since, heh.

[@placidpond]

The northern Appalachian Mountains are quartzite starting here in NJ

[@beansdork]

. its really a special place. i am spectacularly lucky to have gone up a few hills on my own around there, so i can hear it in your voice that you are feeling that aliveness or something, i dont even know how to explain it, but now you know what its like to be there. its not better than everywhere else, just different.

[@gaywizard2000]

Not better just way more awesome?!

[@neillcoetzer9133]

I know what you mean. I lived in ZA in the cape floral kingdom and I used to fuck off into the mountains with just a backpack and those are some of the best times. It always just helped me put life into perspective. I've since moved to Netherlands and I must say. I miss the nature the most

[@jensenchavez265]

That Cheiridopsis fruit looked like a sand worm from Dune. Good stuff

[@hobolupo7750]

If Al had a channel I'd sub and watch all the time.

[@LukeMcGuireoides]

Ditto

[@gaywizard2000]

I could watch for maybe 10-15 minutes!

[@bgbthabun627]

@@LukeMcGuireoides I second your ditto!!!

[@patricklynch9574]

Crime Pays but botany doesn't International addition

[@Purwapada]

Interesting thing about Portulacaria is that its relatives [Didiereaceae] in madagascar evolved spines against predation from Elephant birds and giant gorilla sized lemurs that died out about 1/2000 years ago. But Portulacaria didn't evolve them cos it didn't need to. So interesting to see comparison.

[@Purwapada]

@@pattheplanter oh that interesting, reproductive technique maybe? is it true that elephant dont care about spines much? and eat acacias etc?

[@Purwapada]

@@pattheplanter yeah, and in the cretaceous period there was the worlds biggest frog 'Beelzebufo ampinga' the biggest anuran ever! - seriously Madagascar has amazing plants, weird pandanus and palm species like Marojejya darianii and 5 endemic plant families. Cool place yeah

[@jonstfrancis]

@@pattheplanter I suppose that is why it's also called the elephant bush.. I really want to see Euphorbia milii in its natural habitat.

[@jonstfrancis]

@@pattheplanter oh no! I have one flowering at the moment, hope it hangs in there.

[@aprilkurtz1589]

@@Purwapada I've always wanted to go to Madagascar, and not because of Disney movies. Isn't Madagascar the place where they have spiders with a 12" leg span? Asking for a friend who's afraid of large spiders.

[@emdoubleyew3788]

Awesome, beautiful, and yes, love the crunch. Peace, love and GFY 💕

[@2.7petabytes]

I really appreciate that you selected a sponsor that’s worth a shit and is trying to help do something other than just buying more crap! Rock on!

[@EnglishDave6767]

Ahh yeah! Gotta keep Al off Ogden. Cheers, from Southern Oregon.

[@MrMalthusMusic]

This was chock full of bangers but the deep iridescent blue of that Gorteria was something else entirely.

[@theresadavis8556]

Did I hear that right? Did he say 'Go *bleep* yourself Bye!' at the end of the segment? LOL!!

[@MrPedur]

Wow - the flora of South Africa is amazing. I hope you are vigilant when you stick your hand into the vegetation - There are small pointed noodles around with short fuses.

[@ablanchi]

Als ads are the only ads i look forward to watching

[@jamielandis4606]

Namaqualand, perfect for you! What a beautiful place! Thank you for talking us!

[@renafarted9075]

Mmm burning rubber.. Is it inappropriate to bring home that unidentified ice plant for freeway beautification?

[@chezmoi42]

Short answer, yes.

[@hanbrand]

I will now only refer to Conophytum as “juicy bastards” lmao great video! The amount of knowledge you have of plants it’s insane.

[@Joannesyoga]

Thanks Tony

[@graemescott1436]

Been watching your videos for the past year or so man, fack don’t stop please much love

[@jhernandez335xi]

I'm supposed to be working on audit tasks but instead I'm engrossed in this video. Time well spent!

[@jameshunt4097]

I love your enthusiasm and your humour! I never fail to laugh at least once during your videos. The ruler tattoo on your finger is awesome, very tempted to get one myself

[@jonstfrancis]

I remember you showing us those Avonia papyracea in a visit to the cactus dungeon! Now Anacampseros.

[@davidsobel3303]

Damn! The variety of species in just that one hill is crazy!

[@blengravers]

I wish you'd come to our Florida Everglades. :]

[@LukeMcGuireoides]

That would be awesome

[@raphlvlogs271]

Euphorbias and aloes are the cacti and yuccas of Africa.

[@gardengatesopen]

The plants are great, and the rock is just heavenly!!! Love that quartzite.

[@marioparragutierrez3701]

Pueblooo bandaaaaa familiaaaa TODOS JUNTOS Y UNIDOS EN TODO EL MUNDOOOO

[@3rdEyeGnosis]

Sponsor ads are real cute fellas, good times, 30 seconds I won't get back. But hey it's worth it. While in Africa did ya make out to the eye of Africa guy? Maybe that's for another channel. Good shit. Eagerly anticipating the next.

[@Arelenedhel]

I love how excited you get for desert plants.

[@dendroleon]

digging the google earth intro!

[@jenniferrubbelke]

Oh my goodness! Just saw a couple of your videos…so funny! You sound like my friend from Brockton! Gooseberry? Who the heck doesn’t know what a gooseberry is? I’ll keep watching:)

[@katiekane5247]

Jamesbrittania is the newest being brought to the landscape trade for the S.E., can barely find a grower of natives though 😖 More cool sh*t Joey, ya beautiful weirdo!

[@mushroomwonderland1]

Love your videos man, so interesting. If you're ever up by Seattle I'd love to tag along and make a mushroom video with you.

[@brianp5555]

I just watched your most recent vid with Alan and the other fellow directly before watching this one. What a full circle coincidence. Hopefully you guys can make that video. Cheers

[@charonsiouxsie949]

If you end up in SA for longer than expected, hope you're safe.

[@WiseSnake]

He's out of South Africa, at least according to a recent observation he posted out of Texas on iNaturalist.

[@Arelenedhel]

@@WiseSnake what’s his handle on iNaturalist? I’d love to follow his posts.

[@brianballa3086]

love it ... thanks for sharing

[@AB-vb2mm]

I would take like 20 minutes for ever step 😂

[@jesnoggle13]

Man yelling at plants. Lol

[@Changowarlord]

Hey mate I got a question about your trip down there. When I was there, I saw that there was a lot of sites that did have springs or were former spring sites. Have you ever encountered them? Also, did you see any live springs? When I went down to around Keetmanshoop, I saw a few places that springs did pop up there and there and alongside former springs too. I believe that Keet is a bit ways north of where you were at but I was just curious.

[@kariburk9364]

dang that's some beautiful plantlife & geography. Great to see succulents in their natural habitat. Thanks for your awesome vids.

[@wiwingmargahayu6831]

wow yeah mountain of quartz and amazing plant series

[@AufBerghofNAM]

13:14 its called cattle chew/ cattle buck or something like that ... beautiful species with a deeper purple found in nurseries in swakopmund but *name* ??

[@Purwapada]

if you like Aizs you should check out Muiria hortenseae a.k.a 'eggfigs' (also Conophytum burgeri - just a blob)

[@joshhambleton90]

love binging your videos mate you are an absolute legend.

[@sjmazzoli]

tony joe thank youz over theres...deep stuff bro'...you are the best we got for what you do..freakin' genius level stuff...

[@bybeach4865]

I'm beginning to like Al.

[@logagwang7006]

What a video. What is just around the corner!

[@nlbhaduri]

This is one of the most beautiful episodes you’ve done!

[@aprilkurtz1589]

It is! Tony was in the world's largest rock garden.

[@aprilkurtz1589]

Love you, Al. Didymous(sp)is my new favorite botany word. The old favorite was peduncle because it sounds silly. The Gortaria is beautiful.

[@jamesdriscoll_tmp1515]

"Don't threaten me with a good time" May I borrow that?

[@Arelenedhel]

It’s not a phrase unique to him.

[@jamesdriscoll_tmp1515]

@@Arelenedhel Probably, but I'm not that well read.

[@JessHull]

if namibia is only 10 miles away, lets see those Wild Welwitschias!

[@WanderingsoftheWorld]

Great job tony

[@Wild_Maryland]

So awesome to see that you've got a sponsor. It's well deserved and we are so thankful for your insights. I love learning new things everyday from your content. Come Botanize Maryland sometime, please. I know we are small and kinda suck but you'd make my day lol :) cheers pal.

[@placidpond]

Yeah send him to your serpentine areas

[@StillRunningWithPointedSticks]

There’s gold in that there quartz

[@canadiangemstones7636]

Yeah. I’m sure the South Africans, who have mined millions and millions of ounces, just missed it.

[@alisonburgess345]

My asclepius has germinated and is planted out in Australia but no one will know how to pollinate it lol. Great video - weird plants in a very tough environment there..

[@swayback7375]

Nature finds a way! Much of my African stuff including stapelia etc frequently set seed.

[@salsung73]

Your information ℹ️ and knowledge is amazing. Bless you and thank you 🙏 and I hope your day is awesome 🤩 🌵🌴🌳

[@placidpond]

Did you find any opal in that quartz? The crystalline structure looks like it could have diffraction.

[@canadiangemstones7636]

Sadly, you don’t typically find opal in quartz, or quartzite.

[@richardlynch1094]

Great work as always.

[@EK-xz8ig]

I love those succulent bastards

[@MrYuck-xt8dw]

Phuk'n fantastic sh!t here!

[@j0.ZEF-Who]

Al my shoes are made of rubber... alright erasing my footprint still sounds good. What was that number again?

[@gadler8482]

I’m glad to see your helping out good buddy ole pal Al in his hard times.

[@Seer-Of-Lies_Giver-Of-Mutiny]

"How you do dat?" Nature ......

[@AlyxGlide]

cRONCH ASMR ✅

[@Wag-N-Train]

Are these all in the same family as the jade plant?

[@WestCoastWheelman]

Again the depth of knowledge you possess is fucking astonishing. How much of this shit do you know ahead of time before you even go to these far off places? Does old knowledge ever fall out of your brain from ramming too much new facts into it all the time?

[@MrFkoller]

The fact that you see Dildos on the poor innocent Euphorbias :'D had me laughing. Well ok, no Euphorbia is innocent, I'll give you that. They just want to kill you :/ Love seeing these in habitat, gives me sooo much inspo for creating some arrangements :D Do you find a lot of Haworthia or Gasteria in your travels?

[@jackwilliamson1929]

Lots of quartz any gold?

[@ashleykuntz9599]

The proboscis has got it going on, huh¿

[@JacobCanote]

You crack me up.

[@cerberaodollam]

I know jack shit about plants, but this probably will make me wanna learn. Love your narration, man. ❤️

[@billclark9238]

Cant doubt the knowledge or enthusiasm but not keen on the language at times! Sorry guys but feel it would be so much better without it. How could you introduce children to this hobby with this video!!

[@torbinbornhammer2180]

Somebody tell Al to stop calling me every time something happens. Idc if your car broke again the birds are on.

[@TheSchmidtsu]

Ha. I gotta laugh at myself. Just looked up the word peduncle. Totally thought it would be in a different category not an actual botany term.

[@peterwysoczanski9391]

can I get a "Beautiful Weirdos" Fancy Text shirt with a outline of one of those bastards on a shirt

[@64Pete]

Bewdiful stuff, cheers Tony.

[@EN1156]

Glad to see a south african series now rather than later with all the new travel restrictions as of today. Who knows when you would next have a chance. So odd seeing some of the horticultural nightmares where they actually belong, they actually look great in habitat unsurprisingly.

[@LukeMcGuireoides]

Oh yeah, south africa... I wonder if he'll be able to come home, or when, I mean

[@napalmholocaust9093]

Nice to see while it lasts. That quartz mountain will be blasted for cellphone chips when the other one in... Virginia? Is gone. They always say microchips come from sand, right? Not so much.

[@canadiangemstones7636]

Manufacture of silicon chips requires exceptionally pure quartz. Very unusual worldwide. Doubt this is in any danger.

[@georgesantos8943]

Let me tell you, highly entertained. Most informative.

[@Wag-N-Train]

I just love you Tony. Like love love. Like ... yes or no but you can't say no.

[@mirofexotic]

incredible landscape! plants from another planet!

[@SoNoFTheMoSt]

your mates skin looks insane, how does a homeless guy have clearer skin than me?

[@mercurywoodrose]

and dan ayckroyd with your botanical report right here.

[@Murdant]

Does Al have his own KZbin channel? Because Al needs his own KZbin channel.

[@CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt]

We're working on that.

[@jamesdriscoll_tmp1515]

Enough quartz to start a California!

[@Wonderland_Homestead]

You see that tube? You see that long floral tube nice? Hah?

[@petercactus6637]

What are the main differences visually between the AizoS and the CrassulaS? L8R!!

[@CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt]

Completely different inflorescences and flower structures.