Moving To Australia | How Emigrating Affected Our Marriage

[@TheBAMFamalam]

If you’ve got any questions about this video, drop them in the comments below 👇🏼❤️

[@1love1hope1faith]

Just a thought I’m thinking your kids would actually benefit from seeing you sort out your conflicts you are not yelling type of people that’s great traits and so letting your kids see marriage isn’t alway Crewse and people don’t always get on and I think the way that you work through your marriage is fantastic and I think that your kids would benefit from seeing that in action and knowing how a marriage works as parents we teach our kids with how we respond to people to each other , kids are watching it all and learn more from watching you then what you actually say to them. So you could just sort it out in a room where they can see you but you not standing in front of them kinda thing while they are playing next to you or in the room next to you kinda thing. Anyway that’s just my thought not trying to tell you how to parent , you sound like great parents and fun people to be around 😊

[@murbella7]

The fact that you survived all the drama demonstrates the strength and commitment of your marriage, well done.

[@shanedorival3177]

Every relationship is different. 100% you have to be on the same page and have the same goals. Travelling the globe is a good test. If you’re fighting on a small trip. I could imagine you’re going to be far worse immigrating. Like you guys, myself and my better half laugh at each other and don’t fight at all. We’re really good at communicating with each other and always talk things through, so that we are united in our decisions. We’ve toyed with moving state or to Spain when we retire. Either way, we’d be 100% fine, because we have each other and we love that.

[@tomwareham7944]

When my mum and dad brought me to Australia it has to be said that every thing was a bit toutch and go for the first couple of years . My mum had more or less coerced my father into immigrating she had a sister here who had moved here before the war and so had someone to look to for support , where as my dad didn't know anyone here, looking back it must have been really hard on him leaving everyone he knew back in Pomgolia , . as it turned out my dad started work 2 days after getting here made freinds , and took to the lifestyle as if it was meant to be , I was OK as I started schoo lsraight away and had heaps of freinds both in and out of class I was in the local football club and a cubscout so I loved the place . Mum on the other hand was homesick the minute she got here she had c a falling out with her sister and so we had moved away from her, also we arrived in February and she couldn't stand the heat , the insects and the fact that it took an excursion to go any where . She felt trapped because they had emigrated on the £10 plan they had to stay here for 2 years so she was waiting for the time she could go home . Everthing changed when she met her Australian best freind the friend talked mum into joining a woman's club and the school P&C she took her to bingo and dragged her to church , even at a very young age I saw the difference in her demeanour . She was happy , she fell in love with the country and there was no more talk about going back to Pomgahnistan , which was a relief for dad because he confessed to me later in life that he had no intention of going back and if it came to it he would have stayed here by himself . So I guess that making good freinds is important ,and having a good relationship even more important , anyway the winner in this convoluted saga was me as it will be for your kids , happy wife happy life and an extremely happy home. .

[@TheBAMFamalam]

Oh goodness! That sounds like you were lucky indeed! What a difference good friends make 🥰🥰

[@julesmarwell8023]

Pomganistan.. wow that is good one.. you're not wrong either. cheers

[@beckystokes7645]

I love watching you two together. Every couple has moments when they disagree, argue or don't get on, but you two have an excellent rapport and are very funny together xx

[@TheBAMFamalam]

Ah thank you 🥰 Yes for sure, no couple can be perfect all the time, but generally we’re the best of friends 🥰

[@brettkajar9516]

Just an FYI. Everyone suffers more with jetlag traveling east. This is for the basic reason that it is much easier to stay awake to adjust when going west but nearly impossible to make yourself go to sleep at what feels like 4pm in the afternoon to adjust to Oz time.

[@donnam5891]

You two are the most down to earth couple I've come across. Thanks for this video. I imagine it's very helpful for those wanting to immigrate. Glad you are enjoying life in SE Qld 😀

[@TheBAMFamalam]

Thank you so much for your lovely comment 🥰🥰

[@gillianfahey6464]

You two have done so well! and no its generally not that easy to make big changes.. Be grateful that you both have such well balanced personalities .. 🙏🌸💐

[@TheBAMFamalam]

Thank you ❤️ It certainly wouldn’t have worked if we both weren’t so calm 😬❤️❤️

[@Bellas1717]

So wonderful to watch you together, don't worry, we could put your comments into perspective of a great relationship of people who are being very open to help others. I love watching just to hear your gorgeous "anyhoo".

[@grahamoldfield3474]

Life has its stresses , migrating adds to it , so too does health problems . I think you either grow closer or further apart but you musk learnt to be patient with each other and be prepared to change things about yourself no matter how long you have been together

[@TheBAMFamalam]

Absolutely, even if things are super rosy, you still have to work at it. Self reflection is key 😊

[@supergran62]

I can’t imagine how hard it was for my parents in the mid 60’s. 5 kids and one soon after, and Dad with major health problems shortly after we arrived. They were in separate cabins on the cruise over (yes weeks at sea). Mum had her plus 5 kids in a six berth cabin and Dad shared with 3 single blokes.

[@TheBAMFamalam]

Gosh, that would have been soooo hard - Ben and I had it easy in comparison! ❤️

[@petercharles8306]

It shines through...such a loving couple...you MUST hang in there...children and OZ need you...and so do all your fans...loving you from afar...ups and downs are normal...peter Es

[@TheBAMFamalam]

They sure are, we wouldn’t be human if we didn’t have to work at our marriage 🥰

[@dutchroll]

New babies + big move + new jobs + financial pressure. Wow you guys decided to tick all the major “life stress” boxes simultaneously! Seriously glad you pushed through it though. I envy Ben’s self professed ability to hear key points while watching TV. If I’m watching TV and my wife says something to which I nod my head and say “yep” or “uh huh”, my most feared follow up question is “so what did I just say”? 😂 We’ve been together for 25 years and I can positively say that “marriage ain’t easy” - it’s a continual work in progress!

[@TheBAMFamalam]

Haha we sure did! We really struggle with waiting to do anything 😂 He just about passes the TV test, not everytime though 🤣🤣

[@56music64]

Hi BamFamalam, what a lovely and honest vid. Very brave to share all. Glad it worked out. Thought you guys had been together for ever. Till next time

[@TheBAMFamalam]

Thank you. We were so thrilled when we got asked to do this video ❤️❤️

[@okanakol4590]

I knew you have a great family but after this video, I learned that you are how lucky for being a couple like that🧿. I hope we would pass the stressful times without losing control

[@TheBAMFamalam]

Ah thank you 🥰 It takes a lot of grit to keep it calm, it certainly was tough at times xx

[@intrepidnurse5659]

Thanks for your candour, it’s not always easy to share some of the more personal challenges. To be fair, we also underestimated the challenge of moving to a new country and the impact it would have not only on our marriage but also our wider relationships. We agree that you do tend to spend so much more time together which has been the biggest lesson we learnt - time to yourself individually is so important. Although we as a family have managed some of the big things that have happened in a country not of our origin, we have lost a few friendships along the way with the distance being a big factor. It’s funny you say the three years point was a marker, we are three and a half here in the UK and feel the same - unfortunately we are ready to come home to the coast. The great thing about courageous decisions, is that you’ll never really know what your other decisions would have amounted too so you just embrace what is.

[@TheBAMFamalam]

It’s not something that even crossed our minds before moving, we thought we’d settle within a few weeks 😆 We think the 3 year mark seems to be the average for people settling. We do find that when we visit the UK we pick up where we left off with our friendships, although like you, the distance makes it trickier.

[@TheKruns]

I understand how difficult it is to move from one country to another. We did the same. Good luck to you guys

[@TheBAMFamalam]

Sure is, it takes a lot of grit ❤️❤️

[@SM-uj1ep]

Respect for taking the time to tell everyone about this. Must of been an awkward video to make, but thanks for sharing, it’s a big help on my own personal decision making. Thank you 👍

[@TheBAMFamalam]

Thank you, and we are super happy to help others going through the same as we did xx

[@JustTheTwoWanderers]

This video was a great eye opener. Me and my partner will be newly weds when we move! Thank you for sharing on what happened and you both felt!

[@beckyrenicar1907]

Great vid ❤❤❤ u guys are hilarious! x the story of the flight cracked me up 😂😂😂

[@TheBAMFamalam]

Haha thanks lovely! Oh my gosh, it was hilarious 😂 Ben just sat there watching movies 🤣

[@yahwehyougettheglory3240]

Thanks guys for opening up and the tips as well. Interesting observation on the jetlag. You're right the foundation of the marriage matters alot.

[@TheBAMFamalam]

You’re welcome. It would certainly make any cracks in a relationship a million times worse 😬

[@krisjames4276]

Hi guys good on you for putting up an honest video. The move is definitely stressful. Any move is when you change areas etc but Australia from the UK is a massive change! This is why a couple must be totally united to do the move. If one half is unhappy to leave the UK then please beware. We knew many couple part and one half return alone to the UK. You very much echo all my thoughts in your video! Lv x

[@TheBAMFamalam]

We couldn’t agree more about both parties needing to be onboard, there’s no way it could work if 1 didn’t want to be here. Thank you for watching xx

[@krisjames4276]

@@TheBAMFamalam ❤️

[@tiararr24]

Great video guys & well done with your honesty! Totally enjoy your weekly videos and updates! Your a beautiful family!!! Australia is an amazing and awesome country with so many doors of opportunities! Travelling to Australia in October (from Ireland) to set my daughter up for doing her masters in the Sunshine Coast. Staying with family/friends in the Caloundra/Buddina area. Have been to Oz on many occasions including the student one year visit many moons ago and more recently. If possible could you do a recording on securing visas - immigrating to make the move to Australia for the age matured 😂, late 40’s?

[@TheBAMFamalam]

Thank you so much 🥰 How long are you staying in the Sunny Coast for with your daughter? ❤️

[@tiararr24]

@@TheBAMFamalam staying for October 2022! The more difficult part for me is figuring out the best visa and way forward regarding that side of things if I do decide to make the move. As I’m approaching 50 in less than two years, I know it’s harder to get into Australia, even with skills etc. there are more restrictions than students or those immigrating that are in the 30-40 age bracket. Maybe if you could pass me on your email address I could correspond with you that way? Or any links that may contain relevant info associated! Thanks a mill 😃 🙌

[@The_Stoic_PhilosopherAU]

My favourite KZbin family!

[@TheBAMFamalam]

Ah thank you 🥰🥰

[@andrewcoulter323]

you guys seem sooo happy I assumed it has brought you closer ? but what do I know... lol 😁

[@TheBAMFamalam]

It sure has! There are certainly moments where we’ve had our stresses though! 😬

[@TheKruns]

It’s so nice to get to know you guys more through this video

[@TheBAMFamalam]

Thank you 🥰🥰 Sometimes you don’t want to make yourself too vulnerable online, but we think this is such an awesome topic, as it’s so overlooked ❤️

[@Ozvideo1959]

The best you have done by far.

[@TheBAMFamalam]

Ah thank you so much, that means a lot 🥰🥰

[@56music64]

As a born and bred Australian, I cannot imagine moving for good to another country, so I have great admiration for those who do. I don't understand though, those people that come here, stay here for life and are never happy here, or at least they say they are not. A relative by marriage, would every chance she had say everything in England was better than everything here in Australia, she was miserable company. She stayed here for 50 years until the day she died. Another couple I knew, would say ridiculous things, like they miss the fish and chips in newspaper they could get back home!? huh! If you do immigrate, I would have thought it good manners to be gracious, at least in the company of your "hosts". You can say what you like at home!

[@terryomalley1974]

I hear ya. Born & raised in Canada. When I was a kid, we had neighbours who had immigrated to Canada from England. The father, especially, was always running down Canada and saying how things were better in Old Blighty. My dad, who was sort of friendly with the guy, eventually got fed up with his whining and simply asked him, "If you think it's so lousy here, you're free to go back anytime." We never heard the guy complain about Canada anymore after that. Maybe you should have tried that with your relative.

[@TheBAMFamalam]

There’s such a fine line between still loving what you had and whinging. We do love both countries and both have things that we prefer about them, but we adapt and don’t let it take away from all of the great things that both countries do have to offer. We really hear you when it comes to Negative Nancy’s 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@kirstythomas2168]

Great video - very sound advice! This might be an odd question 😂 but where / how did you make friends best? Xx

[@TheBAMFamalam]

Our best friends have come from school and work ❤️

[@matthewcollas1404]

Awsome video. My best friend and his missus both vent to me. Every one needs to vent. I've known them for about 7 years. There both iver 12yrs older than me. But they both have faults just like me. I vent to them aswell and all unbiased.

[@TheBAMFamalam]

That’s a real good point actually about it being unbiased, that is so important. We all have our moments, however great our relationships are ❤️❤️

[@andrewjhall1978]

Well done guys amazing vlog. New side line marriage guidance 😉

[@TheBAMFamalam]

Haha the only thing Ben has ever told me not to do, is give relationship advice 🤣🤣

[@andrewjhall1978]

@@TheBAMFamalam 😂😂😂

[@CarneysLife]

I love your videos and what do you need to go into Australia if that makes sense

[@TheBAMFamalam]

Thank you. Really the biggest hurdle is getting a visa 😁

[@tracycalvert9274]

Fabulous video

[@TheBAMFamalam]

Thank you 🥰🥰

[@kathrynhee8155]

Long haul flights can be brutal. Try taking melatonin for 3 days beforehand and stay awake until your normal bedtime. It really helps reset your body clock. Good luck!

[@TheBAMFamalam]

I think we’d be worried about missing a flight if we took something 😆 We don’t have any trouble sleeping once we arrive though, I’m usually out by 4pm 😆

[@kathrynhee8155]

@@TheBAMFamalam Melatonin doesn’t put you to sleep. It just helps you reset your body clock. It’s produced naturally in the body. Long haul flights just upset the balance that’s all.

[@MonkandBear]

When Ben said he still thinks about the girls now if they are having a bad day, are the girls still in the UK?

[@animal_lover80]

Seems like a really hard time for the first few years but I’m glad you guys got past that. I have a question to do with marriage but not your guyss marriage. Is it scary getting married not knowing what could be coming? Like getting cheated on, widowed, suicide or even worse? sorry if that’s a weird question. Your videos are always so informative and great to people in the situation you guys talk about! You are my favourite KZbin Fam.

[@TheBAMFamalam]

Ah thank you 🥰 It’s so important to marry someone for the right reasons, and someone who you are best friends with, then you shouldn’t have those worries. As parents of girls, we strongly encourage our girls to be independent, so that they are only in a relationship or marriage because they want to be, never because they have to be. We also try to ensure that they are picky about the company that they keep - life is so much easier and happier when you have good people around you ❤️

[@mariskasteenekamp3405]

Thanks for the video. What did you move and what did you left behind, sell or gave away? Did you declutter before you moved? Thanks guys

[@TheBAMFamalam]

We barely brought anything - just clothes, photographs and for some reason a fridge freezer 😆

[@mariskasteenekamp3405]

@@TheBAMFamalam I suppose you had to keep food and drinks🤪 cool with the freezer 😆. Wow so you build your whole life there. Sounds amazing. We still batling to deside. We actually would first want to experience Australia but cant afford it right now as costs has gone so up in SA. We are scared but also so thrilled of how beautiful it is and the tipe of lifestyle we can have. Is it really that easy? Thanks for sharing.🌸

[@mariskasteenekamp3405]

Maz, another question. What occupations do you and your husband have? What course did you do before you where able to qualify? I am just asking for interest sake as my husband naturally qualifies as he has a trade in engineering with 18years experience.

[@mariskasteenekamp3405]

Hope you are doing good? 😁

[@TheWeedalls]

Hi, We are looking at moving to Warrnambool in Victoria. Wife and 5 kids.... Just wondering which visa that you came on ? and is that you permanent residents or citizens now? I'm looking at coming over on a 482 visa which is temp resident for max 4 years but can apply for resident after a couple of years. It seems to be the fastest route at the moment. I'm just wondering what you two did. Thanks Rob

[@TheBAMFamalam]

The visa that we came on is no longer in existence, it was a while ago. It was a regional sponsorship, so there may be something similar available 😊

[@debbiewbd2359]

So if the twins were both of yours, then who is the parent of Lily and your older daughters ? Great video about reality!

[@TheBAMFamalam]

When Ben and I got together, I had Lily, and he had the 2 girls ❤️

[@gillianfahey6464]

Omg that is so funny that you made poor Ben wear a suit on a long haul flight. It would have been ironic if the man next to you had been bumped up to Business class to get away from the woman who was falling asleep on him😂😂😂💗💗💗💐💐

[@TheBAMFamalam]

Hahaha the funny thing was that the man snuggled up and fell asleep on me too! Ben just left me to it 🤣🤣🤣 I hadn’t slept for 3 days before we left, and by the time I sat on the plane I was just exhausted - I didn’t even manage to stay awake for take off!

[@nosleepmummy]

Sorry if you've answered these questions before. What part of the UK are you guys from? Did you visit Australia many times before emigrating?

[@TheBAMFamalam]

I went to school here for a while when I was younger. Then Ben and I came over for a few weeks to decide if we wanted to move here and then I came for 5 weeks on my own to get everything set up before we moved ❤️

[@nosleepmummy]

@@TheBAMFamalam that's amazing. Thank you for your reply. I've just discovered your channel and am watching as many videos as I can. We're visiting my sister and her family, hopefully in a few months in Melbourne. Can't wait! X

[@TheBAMFamalam]

@@nosleepmummy thank you so much for watching. You’ll have an awesome time, Melbourne’s a great city ❤️❤️

[@murbella7]

What's with the dead head in the bedroom?

[@TheBAMFamalam]

It's plastic - I often use it to hang my jewellery 😊

[@peterbreis5407]

More clickbait please... 🤣

[@TheBAMFamalam]

Eastenders and Home & Away watch out 🤣🤣

[@aerotuc]

i laughed when you told ben "he likes me""""""its more than that id say. all the time the cows head is spying down on you""

[@TheBAMFamalam]

Haha I’ve got to hope he likes me anyway 🤣🤣