Multi-Fandom Selfish Mothers - "Barely Breathing" (Glee Cast version of song)

TRIGGER WARNING - Graphic suicide attempt shown. ~~ 5 fandoms ~~~ Lyrics are to be taken from the kids' POVs. glee.wikia.com/... I decided not to type up the voiceovers. PLEASE ASK in the comments if you need me to transcribe all of them, though. Or if you just have a question about 1 or 2 of them.
This vid is intensely personal for me, as I was inspired by my own feelings toward my mother. ;) I love these 5 storylines on these shows because I can relate to aspects of them SO strongly. I am basically Lip on Shameless - he's so done with his mother I couldn't find many moments to vid with him in this. Lol. I relate so strongly to a lot of how Carter's been acting toward Lori since season 2, even if all of their history is so different from my relationship with my mom. I probably relate most strongly to Beverly/Scarlett. • Nashville: Deacon & Be... How they changed Beverly's character in season 4 frustrated me. It would've felt pretty in-character if she'd woken up from her coma being mad and blaming doctors, or Rayna, or Deacon - or maybe all of them - for causing her coma, however indirectly. Her redemption felt a bit out-of-the-blue, but I was VERY impressed throughout seasons 2 & 3 w/ how realistic and consistently, well... selfish & toxic her character was. I also find Deacon's "Look, Scarlett, your mama's a handful, we all know that. That's old news" attitude toward his sister fascinating. There's so much careful nuance in the writing on that show.
So... finding what term to use for the mothers was tricky, and I'm not sure selfish is fair or the right term, but it was the most consistent thread I found between all 5 of these moms. The kids could be saying the words of the lyrics to each one of them because they all fit aspects of this song, which I interpret to have an overall meaning of "I care about you but I shouldn't because you don't care about about me back". Moms should care about their children, care enough to try harder to beat their addictions/not abandon their children, or try to get a handle on their mental illness.
They are varying degrees of what is often called "toxic" parents/mothers, neglectful, abusive, etc. "Selfish" was the best catch-all term I could think of.
~~~
The 5 mothers included in this video:
Beverly O'Connor - mother to Scarlett O'Connor - from the TV series Nashville that airs on ABC. I used a brief clip from the newest episode, 4x03, so minor spoiler warning. :P In the series Beverly canonically has some kind of mental illness. Was it ever specified what? I don't think it was. But she also is an adult survivor of child abuse and an abuser herself.
Lianne Mars - née Reynolds - mother to Veronica Mars - from the TV series Veronica Mars. I used a voiceover from the movie too. I don't know what she becomes in the canon novels but you can feel free to post spoilers in the comments. Apparently she has a new husband and son? veronicamars.wi... In the television (and film) mediums, which are all I know, she seems to both be an alcoholic and also have abandoned her daughter in a way that is not exactly neglectful since Veronica still had a father? I don't know how to classify what she did.
Monica Gallagher - mother to Fiona, Lip, Ian, Debbie, Carl,& Liam - from the US version of the TV series Shameless, which airs on Showtime. In the show she is canonically bipolar, doesn't take medication, and both is severely neglectful (because her husband is as well, but I focused on just her as a mother in this vid, meaning their kids have no parents a lot of the time) and also somewhat abusive/endangering her children, like when she has Carl drive a car. (Carl is the young white boy in this vid, the one too young to be driving.)
Lori Stevens (which is just one of many aliases she's used in her life, but Lori is the one Carter knows her by) - mother to Carter Wilson (formerly Carter Stevens, before that her name was Lyndon Wilson) - from the MTV tv series Finding Carter. I only used through episode 2x12 (so season 1, and season 2a). She is the woman who raised Carter and was a genetic egg donor. She also is her kidnapper, and in season 2 especially has done some pretty abusive things to the teenage girl. She has been diagnosed with some form of mental illness on the series but I don't believe they specified what. More details are here: findingcarter.w...
and finally...
Ana Gutierrez - birth mother to twins Jesus and Mariana Adams-Foster, who got their last name by two better moms adopting them in the TV series The Fosters. thefosters.wiki... Ana struggles with a certain type of drug addiction, I'm not sure the specific drug(s) of her choice was(/were) ever clarified on the series. She was neglectful enough to have her children taken away from her in canon, leading to Jesus and Mariana ending up in Foster Care around the age of 5 or 6, I believe.

[@VioletEmerald]

I ran out of room in my video description. Lol. Sorry for the long essay. So um... ***I would like to clarify that although Monica's suicide attempt did psychologically traumatize her children, in and of itself I reject the notion that calling suicidal people "selfish" is fair. Similarly, addiction and mental illnesses are an inherently difficult thing to deal with and simply having an addiction or struggling with mental illness, including bipolar disorder or otherwise severe depression, does not automatically make you an abusive or neglectful type of selfish parent, but when you go to the extremes of what Monica, Beverly, Ana and Lori did, regardless of the mental illnesses & addictions involved, yeah they were selfish and abusive mothers who did their daughters (and in Monica's case, other children too) harm. Lianne is the least problematic of all of the mothers in this vid, in my opinion. Veronica's attitude toward her still fit the song well enough, though, and I wanted to vid that dynamic.*** I had to delete a little more than just this from my description too. Stupid character limits. Lol. I'm fairly satisfied with what I left in there, though.

[@applehelper2748]

this video came up when i was looking for finding carter videos and this video is awesome! i sure do miss finding carter :/

[@VioletEmerald]

Thank you so much for this comment! I really miss this show too and I hope to maybe write fanfiction about it and/or vid it again sometime. I really enjoyed it. Taylor is in my current Twitter Banner because I really loved her: twitter.com/luvtheheaven and my only other time vidding the show (other than this vid here) were short collab parts: kzbin.info/www/bejne/gHqonZuOj8uira8 - and I also recorded a podfic (recorded my own voice reading aloud a really emotional Elizabeth centric Finding Carter fanfiction story): kzbin.info/www/bejne/kIiskmqvZp2CZqc I was since VERY early into the show first airing always hoping/planning to make a Carter&Lori two-person collab with ClassicallyCoolProdz as my collab partner set to Lea Michele's "If You Say So". She made the epic Carter character study collab part from 1:41 through 1:55 in this birthday collab I hosted for myself a couple years ago: kzbin.info/www/bejne/Z6e3ZJd8oZZmaK8m41s and she is very talented and we might also still do that one day. I'd really love to.

[@giaprep3476]

Same

[@Bookwormkehprodz]

This is wow! So powerful! I really love it, I can think of a few more mother/daughter relationships that fit this theme- its sad that this happens. I don't even have a relationship with my biological mom anymore, I don't think I ever did, so I can relate to this a little too. You did such an amazing job conveying this theme and the song choice is great! I don't really know all of these storyline but I do recognize the characters due to collab parsts/videos that i've seen. I've seen a few episodes of Finding Carter, Veronica Mars, and Nashville... and of course I've seen The Fosters. I've never watched Shameless though. I still appreciate all of the relationships in this vid and you always make beautiful vids.

[@lemurlover7975]

I also used to sing this song to my mom (Barely Breathing) to describe how I felt around her, but she never understood. I'm glad you picked this song. I found that Nature is a good mother to me, so I try to protect and study nature and tell people Nature is my mother and God is my Father. I'm in grad school now studying nature :) Nature has always been there for me, and animals. :) Yay

[@Smurfa85]

I don't know why I never watched/commented this video until now but here I am :) I actually don't know any of the fandoms you used for once (except a little bit of Veronica Mars but I know absolutely nothing of her relationship with her mom) but I think it helped me understand everything cause it really feels like your own storyline even with totally different characters. You know what I mean? If you really went throught all of this, I'm impressed how strong you came out of it all. You know a bit of my history with my mother, which is pretty much like Emily and Lorelai's relationship (except the being-pregnant-at-16 part), but I still lack of confidence and self-esteem because of what I've been going through with her. I think you're a brilliant, nice, confident and caring person ;) On another note, your editing is flawless and the coloring is beautiful! Such an incredible video!

[@lemurlover7975]

sorry you went through an abusive thing with your mother like the maker of this video and me. here is a hotline that I use to help me process the trauma by having someone listen to me: CARDV 1-541-754-0110. It's in the USA. Also a good prayer hotline that I also use 1-866-273-4444

[@Supsi85]

Personal videos are the best:D I love that you put your soul into it. Scarlett/Bev are really the only relationship I know so I appreciated all those parts a lot, especially since they are so undervidded moments. You found such perfect voiceovers too. I don't think Bev's mental state was ever clarified. Some of it had to do with the enviroment she grew up in when their father was a mean drunk and hit them and then Deacon left her alone with them which made her bitter so I think that also made her even more unstable. There was a lot they could have still done with her and Deacon and Rayna really. I agree the redemption was rushed and I hate that they killed her off so hastily but it creates drama so how could they resist really. Ugh lol. Anyway, all the relationships you included here really brought out the angst and everything, I could feel it all so great job:D

[@VioletEmerald]

+Supsi85 Aw, thanks! Yeah it's funny though because that thread of love for the moms that is in the song I really don't feel too much? Like it's super personal, in that I relate to aspects of all of these relationships, especially Lori/Carter and Beverly/Scarlett (the two where the moms have unspecified mental illnesses, which tend to manifest in ways similar to my abusive mother's own mental illnesses). But the actual message of the song, all of the lyrics about wanting to give the person being sung to another chance ("thinking it over anyway"), being a fool and wishing for things that will never happen... I haven't REALLY felt for longer than I can remember. I mean, I guess there must be a shred of it in me, it's just... I wouldn't call it love the way most of these kids in the video would. I guess the song inspired me because it basically says, ultimately, in the end, that holding onto the relationship isn't worth the price the singer would have to pay. That the singer finally HAS seen the light. They see it all too clear. But anyway yeah, I love personal vids, we all should make them more often haha, they're tricky but special. I think you're right about Beverly's story. That's all we got, plus the info that she had a mental breakdown around when she was Scarlett's age and was hospitalized (went to the "horse farm") multiple times while Scarlett was growing up. Interestingly, I actually have an aunt named Beverly who now lives in Tennessee and who had a mean drunk for a dad and she also has a brother who is a musician in Tennessee as well... lol. I wonder what she'd think if she saw these episodes, lmao. I don't know those relatives of mine very well but my dad's opinion is certainly that my maternal grandfather being an abusive alcoholic father to all 6 of his kids screwed most of them up in one way or another... :P So yeah, I relate to Scarlett/Beverly even more than I realized, since yeah, my mom's dad was somewhat like Beverly's. :P Anyway, it's nice to know you agree the redemption was rushed, or like... I guess how I feel is that they skipped a step, or changed their minds about what Beverly's story is. After she knew she was a match but still didn't want to donate part of her liver to her brother, even when her daughter was begging her to, and then she was angry at Rayna for "giving her no choice"... I really didn't want her to ever be "fully" redeemed, the way she was lol. But yeah, anyway I'm looking forward to the drama continuing in the new episode this coming week. I don't mind that they can't resist all the drama, it's why I love the show. Me and my dad were crying our eyes out at the Teddy scene in the recent ep, lol, they do that stuff so well. Thanks for the awesome comment. I'm so glad you could appreciate the whole vid and think I did a good job getting the emotion across, despite you not knowing most of the fandoms.

[@Supsi85]

luvtheheaven5 Oh that's such a "fun" coincidence with your relatives:DD That would be funny if they saw it...xD I know some people who grew up with alcoholic parents/parent and there are different effects. One of my friends never really got over it and I think she was just very sensitive by nature already and when kids grow up in that environment where they sense every mood change by the tiniest hint in order to avoid the violent behavior from a parent it's bound to affect them later. It always bothers me about shows when they have this message that you have to forgive your parent no matter what because...it's just the way it is. Idk, maybe it's a Christian thing or something like that where it comes from. The thing with Juliette's mom was done better, it was braver of the show really. I loved the Teddy stuff too, it was all done really well and there was an actual point of him being there. I do think the quality is higher this season as the episodes go on.

[@VioletEmerald]

Oh in addition to what I said already, my Uncle Tom (my Aunt Beverly's brother, as well as my mom's brother) is sort of like Deacon in more ways lol! I mean, in that he struggled with drug and alcohol addiction in his life and is in his late 40s and is still single and doesn't have kids... :P He's doing okay today though. Ooo here's a cool article written about him and his paintings, though: validitymag.com/2015/09/tom-geckle/ I didn't realize my uncle was featured there. Never read that till today.

[@Supsi85]

luvtheheaven5 Omg he has lone musical sessions at his cabin...:D Yeah there's definitely a Deacon there xD

[@thequeentaylor]

Wow Emily, this video is extremely powerful and I love videos like that, where you just show this HUGE part of yourself through your editing, it's amazing! I am so sorry you had to have a mother like that, who treated you like that and caused you so much pain :( But you really captured so many different emotions in this video that you could relate to personally. And if you ever need someone to talk to, just let me know!

[@VioletEmerald]

+TaylorLynn127 Thank you so much! ;) I appreciate the wonderful compliment to the video. And thanks for the offer to talk too. I'm alright. I can always blog more: luvtheheaven.wordpress.com/2016/01/26/my-abusive-mother-wont-leave-me-alone-2/ luvtheheaven.wordpress.com/2016/02/06/gaslighting-crocodile-tears/ if I feel the need to talk more about this subject. ;)

[@lbchatterbox]

I love this! I agree personally-inspired videos are the best and I'm sorry you went through something similar as these characters. This was a very powerful video. I really loved the Bev/Scarlett and Ana/twins parts. I do think Bev's redemption was rushed but it was tell-tale sign she was dying, the typical make amends in case I die route so I'm partly glad they did that for Scarlett's sake. I really like the scenes with Ana/twins as well but I'm hoping her gradual redemption does stick this time however I'm not sure how realistic that is. While I haven't seen the other fandoms, I really want to see Finding Carter, it looks so interesting to me and I found all of this beautifully vidded.

[@VioletEmerald]

+lbchatterbox Thanks so much! There was a part of me that liked Bev apologizing right before dying thing as a nice way to prepare viewers by foreshadowing it lol... not that I'm very emotionally invested in her character, lmao, seeing as her abusive nature in 2x19-2x20 reminds me scarily of my own abusive mother, and she's the one out of all 5 moms in this that seems most like my own mom... :P Yeah, I think Ana's redemption arc has been somewhat realistic seeming, as some people do manage to "Recover" from destructive behavior as an addict and become fully clean and sober, or do better the next time around with a new child. Idk. :P I think you'd really love Finding Carter. Especially season 2. It's great even as early as the pilot but i think it got stronger later on.

[@JulesheartsMikita]

Wow Emily. This is so amazing. It's hard for me to relate bec my mom is my best friend and it breaks my heart that you don't have a good relationship with your mom. Thank you for sharing this. For me, being vulnerable is hard. Sharing something personal about yourself, esp something painful takes a lot of guts so I admire that you can do that. Every clip and voiceover had a purpose and even though I only know 4 fandoms (behind on FC but I watched earlier s1 eps) I was able to connect to all the stories. Very powerful vid.

[@VioletEmerald]

+JulesheartsMikita So Finding Carter was one of the 4 fandoms you (kind of) knew? Which one didn't you know at all? I didn't realize you had that many of these obscure fandoms in common with me! ;) Thank you for the amazing comment! I really appreciate your kind words. And well, my dad is my best friend so I'm still luckier than a lot of people. ;) Did you ever see these personal vids I made a long time ago? kzbin.info/www/bejne/eaqsf4ScnMuVZpI kzbin.info/www/bejne/eaC2qYmHprKZfbM

[@JulesheartsMikita]

+luvtheheaven5 Shameless. I've never seen it before. No I haven't. I'll check them out (:

[@VioletEmerald]

Thanks! ;) and yeah, Shameless is the trickiest one to watch since it doesn't just air on TV nor is it on Netflix. ;) I love it so much though. It's just... great.

[@JulesheartsMikita]

+luvtheheaven5 yeah I've heard good things (:

[@VioletEmerald]

+JulesheartsMikita So let me know if you watch those other two vids of mine. ;)

[@EverySongEndsStudios]

Wonderful job! I relate to this but from the toxic/selfish father stand point. I'm only familiar with Lianne and Monica but your use of voice overs made the parts I didn't know just as powerful.

[@VioletEmerald]

Thank you so much. I really appreciate the comment! I forgot you know Shameless too. ;) Also I sent you a message about maybe joining this collab: kzbin.info/www/bejne/hGnEk2Zui9p0rdk ? So hopefully you got that.

[@felixtreat5278]

I sent this to my mom, hoping she'll finally understand what she really put us through. I doubt she will though. I grew up in a very abusive household. If I say or did one thing wrong I would get thrown/slapped/the belt/locked on a room while my mother lay in a bed. Hell Ive had lashings. My father was the physical abuser, but my mom was the emotional one. Ever time I tried to do anything I actually liked she would scream at me that it wasn't who I was and that she wanted her daughter back. When she found out I self harmed she locked me in the bathroom and forced me to watch her cut her skin and when she started again not to long ago she screamed at us for not caring. I've had glass smash around me as I watched her throw our Christmas tree to the ground as our childhood ordiments smashed to pieces. I can easily say I've tried to save her many times from my father yet she blames me. I've had to strangle my own father, fist fight with my mother. Half of my face doesn't even work now. And it doesn't help that I also deal with my night terrors. Not to long ago she abandoned me after I said I was done with the abuse. My father is now the only parent who will admit to what he has done. I do still love them both with all my heart even if I feel like I shouldn't. But I doubt she will ever talk to me again. I just snapped when she said I shouldn't blame her because she was being abused by my father too, but that's no excuse for what she has done to me and my two siblings. Yet she calls me spoiled...

[@VioletEmerald]

WOW. I'm... so sorry. That is so intense and horrific. I'm sorry you've had to survive all that. Unfortunately "I've had glass smash around me as I watched her throw our Christmas tree to the ground as our childhood [ornaments] smashed to pieces" I can viscerally imagine what it would've been like for my mom to do that - and when I went "No Contact" with her over 11 years ago I lost access to all my childhood ornaments so I do kinda mourn their loss nonetheless, even if the things my mom did were more like breaking a beloved bracelet of mine by ripping it off my wrist, she literally punched a hole in my acoustic guitar, etc... I was SO lucky to have a wonderful dad but even so he was negligent and left me with my abuser only to see him one day a week... and I want to become an adoptive parent mainly because I know kids are in situations like yours, with both parents completely unfit. Or other traumas kids have to survive that are even worse than what I went through. I'm 29 years old and I'm hoping I can achieve my dream of adoptive parenthood by age 35. You might also enjoy this video of mine: kzbin.info/www/bejne/nIq7lHeGoMiKnNU set to Shinedown's "Breaking Inside" and also this one I vidded about my anger at my grandmother for allowing my mom, her daughter, to abuse me the way she did: kzbin.info/www/bejne/aHq8m3Wqa8yZhJI (made after my grandmother's death stirred up FEELINGS). If you watch please let me know by commenting, if possible. But just. Gosh. I hope you have access to good mental health therapy that feels like it's helping as well as outlets in writing or art or something. I hope you can heal from all that. And I'm oddly honored that you would share a video I made like this with your mom even if you know it probably won't get through to her.

[@lemurlover7975]

you did not deserve all that. you are a survivor, not spoiled. Don't let her words define you. I went through something similar. I like calling this hotline to help me with my trauma. It helps to have a caring person to listen to us and support us. It's 24-7, in the USA, and anonymous. CARDV 1-541-754-0110.

[@ClassicallyCoolProdz]

You did a really great job with this video Emily. I especially love how you portrayed the Veronica/Lianne and Carter/Lori relationships. :)

[@VioletEmerald]

+ClassicallyCoolProdz Thank you! ;) I still want to do our Carter/Lori collab if you're up for it btw. ;)

[@ClassicallyCoolProdz]

luvtheheaven5 I'm still in, for sure. :)

[@VioletEmerald]

+ClassicallyCoolProdz I'm crazy busy and still haven't even watched the final 3? episodes of the show. I think. I'm still upset it's canceled though. If you still want to do a Carter/Lori collab to "If You Say So", I'd love to vid the whole song and do it with you, but I can't get started until at least April.

[@countrycutiexo]

this is soo beautiful, girliee!! xo

[@VioletEmerald]

+countrycutiexo Thank you so much!

[@PrettyGirlTomBoy23]

This was amazing! I'm a huge fan of Finding Carter and The Fosters.

[@VioletEmerald]

Thanks!!

[@CharmedAngel2005]

Love the song choice and the clips. Makes me want to finish these series. And possibly start a new one. Your videos always play constantly for me. Keep it up. xo.

[@VioletEmerald]

+Jolee EqualityNow Holtz Thank you so much for the REALLY kind words!! ;) That means so much to me to hear.

[@CharmedAngel2005]

+luvtheheaven5 And I'm watching it again. Are we allowed to mention show names in the comments? Just wondering which show to go for finishing first. Thought you could help :)

[@VioletEmerald]

+Jolee EqualityNow Holtz Yeah go ahead. ;) Mention away.

[@CharmedAngel2005]

+luvtheheaven5 Nashville or Veronica Mars. What should I go for first? I would say Shameless. I don't have the seasons on DVD yet though. Ooh. I also wanted to say I love your Horrible Mother and Daughters collar to Beautiful by Christina Agueleria.

[@VioletEmerald]

Thanks! "collar"? It's not a collab or anything, just a vid I made. Nashville is still airing and if you catch up you might be able to help make it so it's not canceled in some way haha? But I'd always say Veronica Mars, I'm biased, I love the show more than most shows. Veronica Mars is also less total to watch, although it depends on where you got to in each show. I really love both series but yeah, my vote would I guess be for Veronica Mars UNLESS watching Nashville live would be something you're looking forward to, then the sooner the better you should catch up on that one. :P

[@breelynn8810]

oh gosh. this hurt so beautifully.

[@VioletEmerald]

Thank you for such a great comment!!

[@lemurlover7975]

Hi I appreciate this video. I was neglected, abandoned, raped, physically and emotionally abused and trafficked to pedophiles and relatives by my biological mom, so this is relatable. Also she was suicidal, so as a child, I was put in the position of having to call people to save her life all the time while no one wanted to save my life. Also she was homicidal to me and my pets. Also she was cannibalistic (in that she loved drinking my blood after being violent) and worshipped Satan. Also she had mental health issues that involved her having hallucinations of big purple monsters. This wasn't as much of a problem when we were on foot, but when we were in the car, we almost crashed a lot of times, so I had to take the steering wheel from her as a child and drive into a lot of fences so we would not crash into the oncoming traffic. We still sang a lot of songs together, which I loved, and played Scrabble and Yahtzee which I enjoyed, and sometimes I actually liked her cooking (when she wasn't trying to poison me to commit homicide or drug me so rapists like her and others can rape me while I'm unconscious). Because of these things I thought I loved her. Also she beat me and told me I have to love her or else she will murder me, and everyone around me said that I have to love her. She loved to incite others to be violent to so that she can watch or participate or hear about it and feel strong and powerful. It was really hard to live through it all because no one I talked to about her wanted to rescue me and everyone was convinced I was a liar rather than an abused person seeking help. They seemed to always think I could help myself and did not need them, even when I was 3 years old and sleeping in the dumpster where she had thrown me to freeze and die. I just burned myself in the trash inside the trash bag, to use as insulation to trap my body heat. It was really smelly though so I really disliked it. Anyway I do not talk to her anymore, it's safer for me that way. My chances of dying by homicide have gone way down. I also used to be really suicidal and did a lot of self harm back when I was in regular contact with her. I am happy to say that this went away now that I'm free from that monster. I was a slave to her. That is mostly what she called me. She usually did not call me daughter. Only in front of other people, if she remembered my gender and age and name (some or all of which she often forgot). Only if she wanted them to praise her for being a good mother, which they always did, without asking her if she's ever abused, neglected or abandoned me. Anyway, here is a helpful hotline that I use to help me process all the trauma 1-541-754-0110. CARDV. It's from the USA. Here's my prayer hotline that I use 1-866-273-4444.

[@VioletEmerald]

It is very (literally) difficult to read such a long wall of text with no paragraph breaks separating it (not just emotionally difficult, although sure that too), so I'm sorry I didn't process your story you spilled your heart and soul about onto my video sooner. This and your other comment about your mom's potential addiction to hard drugs, etc. I'm so very sorry for the unfathomable cruelty and nightmarish horror you somehow managed to survive despite how many times your physical life seemed in danger, and I'm so extremely sorry you had to ensure such other abuse such as rape and other emotionally soul crushing psychological abuse. I'm sure your journey to healing is such a long one and I'm very honored that a video like mine can be something you can appreciate after something like what you've been through is your story. I never would've guessed a video like this would reach a person with a story like yours, when I was first making it. I'm glad the CARDV (Center Against Rape and Domestic Violence) hotline helped you the way it did. I'm glad you're still here.

[@littlebittywonderland]

Beautiful 🥺

[@VioletEmerald]

Thank you!!

[@eileenalbert5175]

what I had to deal with , evil evil thing she is ....I moved far away and will never see her again

[@VioletEmerald]

💙💙 I'm glad you got away.

[@lolipopsoul3317]

2:11 name of series?

[@VioletEmerald]

Shameless, the US version of the TV show. Let me know if you want the exact episode!

[@cbsnbclover]

Great Job

[@VioletEmerald]

+cbsnbclover Thanks.

[@lemurlover7975]

I think my mother may have been addicted to some hard drugs? Like Cocaine and heroin? Although I don't know because I did not see them and I was just a kid trying to survive a whole lot of torture and attempted murders. I remember some of the pedophiles had crack pipes though from flashbacks when I was 6 years old. And I know that at that same age I was punched in the face if I said "I like heroines" - meaning characters like Pippi Longstocking or Annie from the musical Annie. I heard them saying "I like heroin" and I thought we were saying "I like heroines" which sounds really similar. I thought I was being punched in the face, at the time, because they did not want me to see females as heroic. She also came from a very incestuous abusive family herself and was raped by her dad who also raped me starting when I was 5 and told her it was fine and had this idea that I should be trafficked so he showed me Gigi over and over and over and sang "Thank Heaven For Little Girls" at me over and over in the most creepy way possible. But Gigi has a really great protest song against being raped and it's called "I don't understand the Parisians" so I learned that and I sang it back at him in my protest. He's dead now and burning in Hell, thank God. He even raped his son, my uncle when my uncle was a kid, which then caused my uncle to rape me when I was a kid. Basically incestuous rape has been a huge problem in my entire family for I don't know how many generations, which produced severe mental illness and the desires in my mom to be violent and homicidal and enslaving her children. I could tell she was really traumatized and I actually felt sorry for her and wanted to love her to show her what love feels like, so I tried for 30 long years of bloodshed and torture. But she was not able to feel love or reciprocate it. I had to go away so I wouldn't die and so I could stop bleeding and being in so much pain.

[@VioletEmerald]

I replied to your other comment. Yes it's horrifically sad how abuse so often perpetuates more abuse. These family members of yours all needed such severe mental health treatment and young children needed to be completely shielded from these adults, and I'm so sorry that you weren't protected. You seem to be breaking the cycle probably because you're so self aware and actually processing it. You're free from these family members which is beyond necessary for someone's mental health when it's this bad, it's often necessary to cut off contact at quite a few less degrees of horrific too, like in my own case, cutting off contact with my mother was one of the best things I ever did.

[@jadelee8900]

oh my god

[@VioletEmerald]

Oh this comment was marked as spam. I'm glad you appreciate this vid. ;) I just today actually posted a new vid that captures some more of these types of feels: kzbin.info/www/bejne/aHq8m3Wqa8yZhJI

[@jadelee8900]

luvtheheaven5 yea

[@rootmonika]

what movie is in 1:00?

[@VioletEmerald]

these are all tv shows, aka television series. at 1:00 It's Finding Carter, season 2.

[@VioletEmerald]

@bookwormkehprodz -- Yeah, I didn't want to repeat vid the mothers I already included in my "Horrible Mothers & Their Children" vid lol so I can think of quite a few more: kzbin.info/www/bejne/eaC2qYmHprKZfbM -- and Nashville also has Juliette's mother who has a lot of parallels to Scarlett's, even if Juliette's was more of the drug addict variety. And now Juliette's sort of abandoned her own baby daughter lmao. And there's Gilmore Girls with Liz not being the best mom to Jess... there are just quite a few of these.

[@Bookwormkehprodz]

+luvtheheaven5 true, lol. and of course there are a ton of lifetime movies that have these dysfunctional relationships. There are a lot! :)

[@VioletEmerald]

There is now a whole Dysfunctional Family Movies category on Netflix, apparently...

[@Bookwormkehprodz]

luvtheheaven5 really? I must check it out.

[@VioletEmerald]

I enjoyed White Bird in a Blizzard which falls in that category haha so Netflix started thinking I'd want to watch more from the category.

[@thumb9928]

Lol my mom is a prostitute and tried to make a deal where this old man would come babysit me while she went out to prostitute herself because he likes being dominated by prostitutes I most likely would have been raped or kidnapped. Think of the possibilities of aan who is perfectly fine with involving me, a 13 year old child, in some sexual acts. He is surely going to go farther. The thing is she neglected to tell h that she doesn't even have custody of me.

[@lemurlover7975]

I am not sure if you are still a 13 year old but you need to get some help to get away from your mother and this man. Predators are bad. Anyway talk to your school counselor if you have one and here is a domestic violence hotline if you need one to discuss past or current traumas 1-541-754-0110 CARDV. Its a USA hotline.

[@VioletEmerald]

I'm so sorry so many people with these stories are finding my video. Are you still a minor trapped in abusive situations? I surely hope not. I hope you've escaped and are safer now.

[@ClaudineBJimdar-RoweCV]

She is probably pretending to be you and celebrating your birthday for all I know! I refuse the representation.

[@VioletEmerald]

Huh?

[@lemurlover7975]

yeah I get it, pretending to celebrate your birthday to other adults while actually IRL beating you or getting high on your birthday. A "party" for her means doing some acts of violence to you by herself or with her friends. Or at least that is how my mom was. Um. heres a USA hotline I call to help me with my trauma problems 1-541-754-0110