My Anxiety Story (So far)

[@TirarADeguello]

16:30 on, there you go, you have helped a lot of people. You're a legend. You have done great things.

[@snazzyfeathers]

Legends supporting legends!

[@nirvanageddon4979]

TirarADeguello Tirar is a fan?!?! Jen you are lucky!!!

[@waynej9420]

Doc you are also a big calming influence on people with your videos my friend I also thank you too

[@deidjera]

Fancy seeing you here mister michaels.

[@Mondarín-Records]

There you go! Jen, your Community is behind you! :)

[@ASMRSURGE]

I'm really glad that you managed to overcome most of the symptoms. Stay strong and do not let anxiety get you down Jen. I've also had my ups and downs and I know exactly how difficult it can be to get your life back on track. Anxiety is awful and unfortunately it tends to come back. That's why it is so important to not take your wellness for granted. Around 3 years ago I used to have panic attacks in public places. I felt sick and out of energy. I needed a radical change, so I decided to throw myself into a crazy work mode. I started my own company in which I invested a lot of money and my whole heart. It was extremely hard to function at first, but I was all by myself and I knew that if I don't do something, it simply will never be done. After a few months my mind was so busy, that there was no room for anxiety. I thought I was ok and even forgot about the problem. It striked back when I took some time off. Entrepreneurship helped me to forget about the problems by being constantly busy, but in fact I was still sick. I tried therapy and medications only to realise, that it is not for me. What worked the best to keep the anxiety far away from me was to get out of my comfort zone. I packed my car and went for a road trip completely by myself. It lasted around 3 weeks, I made over 6000 km and crossed 6 different countries (I never used to travel so much before). When I was back I felt as if I was born again, new and fresh. It is funny becuase although I was happy that I'm finally at home at the same time I wanted to go back. Thanks to this experience the boundaries of my comfort zone were completely re-established. Since then I haven't had a single panic attack, and I feel excellent. It is absolutely crucial to get out of the comfort zone as often as possible. I don't even know why I'm writing this, but I felt like doing it after seeing tears in your eyes. Keep smiling and being positive Jen. Do not worry about moving out. If I only had an apartament in the UK I would just give it to you for the sake of your creativity and charmingness .

[@VisualSounds1]

ASMRSurge thank you so much! Travelling is actually something I would love to do, maybe someday soon!

[@Omega_Mak]

You so brave to share your story and journey with anxiety, you are honestly such an inspiration ❤️

[@atomicjoseph9295]

I'd say this is one (if not the most) inspirational video about Anxiety ever made...

[@nubrake802]

I should tell my story too, because it involves you. Basically, my family was always poor, and my dad was a serious alcoholic, and that made life harder for everyone. My mom was scared to come home, but she had to because she did not want to leave me alone with my dad. She was always extremely stressed and often took it out on me, but I know she loves me. My brother, let's say, has some problems in the head, and he was also an extra effort for everyone. So home was not a good place. School was also tough but I had my friends there, so I felt the best there. Work was living hell, it was a hard job that I hated to do, with people that always picked on me. I had heart problems but I had to keep going. And after a long day of work, when I wanted to sleep, our neighbors (we lived in a flat) blasted their music at 2am loud, every single night. So I had no safe space, everywhere I went, stress followed. My panic attacks worsened my heart's condition, I slept 4 hours every night. Life was hell and I thought about suicide many times. Then one day I thought if I can't sleep, I might as well watch videos on youtube. Then I came across your channel, you helped me calm down, I loved your personality, and your videos were fun. Finally for once, I had something to look forward to. And that helped me a lot to push through the days. So it is you who I can thank for going through the most difficult time of my life, Jen.

[@maeg.9123]

[@leticiateixeira3163]

I also cried while listening to this. I understood every single word. Thank you for being so opened.

[@leehunteruk]

Honestly I never would have seen you as that much of a nervous person. You don't seem to have a problem being totally you online and showing your "alternative" tastes and styles. That takes a fair amount of courage to break out from everyone else so I guess I wrongly assumed you were super confident. Makes me think.

[@glindathegoodishwitch9244]

Has nothing at all to do with confidence, weakness or insecurity. It's usually an inherited condition, though not always where fear and obsessive thoughts snowball into a tremendous internal horror story. People who suffer true anxiety and panic disorder may or may not have triggers and will experience a variety of ghastly and uncomfortable physical and mental pain. One of the pioneers of anxiety disorder was Dr Claire Weeks who wrote several books about it in the 70's. She was a very successful psychiatrist who suffered from it and created a way to live with it. She was not fearful or weak...just a victim of this disorder. Jen is not a weak or insecure or fearful person. She has a disorder and thankfully, through CBT, is finding a way to manage it. So many, many people just do not understand that these disorders are real and don't signify weakness in any way. However suffering from the equivalent of a beatdown for years can make one feel pretty darned weak and exhausted.

[@thescrappay]

Its okay to cry, this is a tough thing to talk about. thank you for sharing! Anxiety is a beast, you should be very proud of the work you've done!!!!!

[@NoOne-us9xv]

Yeah, I agree with this. Don't be silly, there's no shame in crying about something as personal and impactful as this. Anxiety is pretty serious stuff.

[@ScottishMurmurs]

Thanks for sharing your story Jen. This was really brave of you and I totally admire how open and honest you were in this video, keeping all of the parts where you got upset. Anxiety is a terrible thing and you’ve done so well coming this far, keeping up with your channel and creating amazing content. Sending lots of love 💙💙💙

[@2bornot2b42]

Thanks so much for this absolutely wonderful video. For years, I’ve admired your skills, your intelligence, and your imagination. Now I know you and admire you as well for your courage and your generosity in sharing your experience so that others may learn from you and understand that they are not alone. What a great example you are! Thanks.

[@ArticulateDesignASMR]

I've listened to all of this and it's freaking heart wrenching dude oh god. I'm so glad you made it. I'm also so glad you're now able to enjoy comicons and I was thinking how on earth can you think you haven't made a mark on the world? There are 129 thousand souls who have been helped by you..but then you said what i'd just typed, only in a much more modest way hahah. You've literally altered the lives of millions of people, in the most positive and tangible way. You're amazing buddy :D

[@VisualSounds1]

Thank you so much!

[@robharwood3538]

Beautifully said! 🤗😊

[@BBelleLa]

Lovely comment x

[@stagecoachgirl]

You aren’t alone. I battle to get out of bed, start my day, go to work or even meet my friends each morning, not due to depression but I ‘freeze’ with fear. My symptoms make me feel like I physically cannot move. I have propranolol as my heart beats at 100 miles an hour and they’ve helped me to slow down. Thank you for sharing your experience. It’s so good to hear that so many people can relate and in this community we can share and be there for each other. Thank you for opening this door for everyone Jen. Please don’t apologise for crying, you’re awesome 😊 (also, there is a technique called grounding which really helps so try it out if you haven’t!) take care of yourself Xx

[@robharwood3538]

My anxiety isn't as acute as yours, but I also take propranolol. Not sure how effective it is for me yet, as I've just started it recently, but hopefully it will help reduce my heart seeming to 'skip a beat' from anxiety pangs. (Dr. told me that the type of palpitation I'm noticing is not serious and actually everybody has them, but due to my anxiety I just notice them more readily than other folks do, so it was making me unnecessarily worried about my heart. Anxiety seems to make everything more complicated! 😅) Cheers! 😊

[@stagecoachgirl]

Rob Harwood good luck! I found it helpful and got no horrible side effects :)

[@robharwood3538]

@@stagecoachgirl Thanks! No side effects for me either, it seems. 😊

[@ellenwilt5836]

Hey Jen! Just need to let you know that I am 64 years old, sometimes I have terrible anxiety, and your ASMR videos are one of my go-to remedies when my friends are busy! I tell all my friends how your sweet voice, big blue eyes and gentle , creative personality inspire me!! I mean that with all my heart..........Thanks for all the time, and care you give to all of us. Jo

[@jacobpatton7587]

People need to see this. People have struggles, and friends need to respect it, and people who have struggles need to know that it's not shameful to have issue to struggle with.

[@StarfishSavvy]

Agoraphobia is horrible. Experienced it when my daughter went off to kindergarten. I would have panic attacks just trying to leave the house to pick her up or take her. Lasted 2 months. Had to quit my job, etc. Thank you so much for being so candid and sharing your story. You are so brave and strong for doing this. ❤ it is really hard to explain it to people who don't understand it, either. Good news - as you get older, it is much much easier to control and can even go away. Realizing it's a complete irrational situation helps. and I so very much believe in antidepressants too. You got this, girl !!!!❤❤

[@glindathegoodishwitch9244]

Jen, I don't know how I missed this but glad I scrolled around tonight to look for a video I may have missed along the way. I am really sorry you have to deal with anxiety and panic. You are far too wonderful....you just do not deserve it, but those of us who have to deal with it know how fantastic life feels when you pass through it and feel normal again. I guess if there's anything positive about it, it's that. Just.feeling.normal is such a treat and so cherished. I started at age 21 too and I actually was still in college at the time...actually during the summer months, living at home and taking a summer school class at night, working during the day. It's been a real roller coaster for sure, pretty much exactly as you described. Snowballing, nausea, weight loss on an already thin body, etc. One therapist I saw said that anxiety was "the worrying disease" and that we constantly scan for things to worry about. So true. I remember doing that as a little kid. Anyway, Jen, thank you for being so brave and sharing your story with us. I am so so glad you are better and have tools for helping yourself with anxiety. Just knowing that you have ways to deal with it scare it away sometimes! Anxiety wants to be in charge and if you don't let it take you over, it *will* run away! Of course, there are *those* days....and we have to cope with them. It's just how it is. You are a beautiful person and it's obvious that your viewers are some of the most appreciative and respectful people out here in ASMR land. That's because you are someone who just exudes decency and has crazy talent and so much more. Thank you for helping us by sharing your story. I find that when I reach out, my anxiety usually leaves me alone. So glad you've come so far. I have loved your videos from the very start and to this day. You are a real star. Big hug, Jen. Your mom must be so proud of you. You said her name is Libby. My daughter too (who also alas has anxiety!) We'll all get through it. Love you.

[@mastercheif1225]

Mad mad respect for putting your emotions out there. I know how bad panic attacks can be and how vulnerable you feel

[@mrgonzogonzalez]

You're a gem to everyone who thinks they're the only ones dealing with any anxiety-related issues. If there's one thing we need in this world is to show others none of us is alone - and to never let go of each other's hands. Thank you for your bravery.

[@sirpaleet9144]

Nooo, don't apologize. We love you! Thank you for sharing this❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@davidwilliam1638]

Is really sad know that a nice person like you, who makes such good for us suffers whit thing like that. But I am glad for you be getting better. I wish you the best, cuz' you deserve it!

[@MarkoEsp]

Breathing techniques, video games and ASMR pretty much got me out of the hole and I can relate to the living alone with one parent situation. Just want to say thank you for sharing this and for all the work you do, I am sure you have helped literally thousands of people through it.

[@OliveTakahashi]

When you started talking about your mom being so worried about you is when I really started to understand what you were talking about. One of the most emotionally crushing things for me is seeing a loved one worried for me. It makes me hurt in such a way that I never want to feel again.

[@MorrisseyMuse]

Thank you for sharing your story! It was clearly a tough thing to do but I'm sure it will help others, even just to say "you're not alone". I've been watching your vids for years now and you're a true inspiration! :) I've had social anxiety and OCD myself for over a decade each now and can relate to alot of what you say. I'm at home still and it bugs me some times too lol I've always thought doing an ASMR channel would be therapeutic in some way too, you're certainly inspiring me! lol I live in Manchester but wouldn't dream of going into town on my own, nerves would be off the chart! lol so kudos to ya!

[@The0True0Ratmous]

I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 within the first few months of going to a mental health doctor. For almost a decade most of my family didn't believe there was anything wrong, it's good that you have some support. Meds are a hard thing to manage, any anti depressant can make you unable to sit still, personally at least. Then with anti anxiety they can make you a zombie, numb to any emotional pain and too tired to think. Mood stabilizers can have rough medical side effects on your body, Lithium will dry you out and make your short term memory terrible. I'm glad everything worked out with yours. Too many people, all around the world, suffer with mental health issues, thank you for bringing attention to it. I have been subscribed for a year now, watching your videos to deal with my insomnia, thank you and I hope all goes well for you.

[@emmajane9986]

I don’t know if you’ll ever see this comment but I feel so compelled to write this comment. We are around the same age and both from the North East so I have always kind of related to you and I’ve watched your videos for years. I couldn’t watch this without crying because I know firsthand how horrendous anxiety and depression is. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy and seeing how raw the whole experience was for you really moved me. I too have had my life completely taken over by anxiety but I got better too, for a while. I am now three months pregnant with my first child and had to stop my anxiety medication as it’s not ideal when pregnant. My anxiety attacks have become so intense that I’ve not left my house in weeks, I’ve been off work for six weeks and I find it hard to leave my bedroom. Watching this reminds me that I can come out the other side of this. I am sending you the BIGGEST virtual hug and thank you so much for sharing this, it is incredibly brave of you and it will help so many people to hear you speak so candidly!

[@jessa67]

Hey I have just seen this. I've had anxiety on and off all my adult life and it's been made worse by traumatic events. But it DOES always go. So firstly i wanted to remind YOU of that Emma. :) And secondly... there ARE anti depressants you can take during pregnancy which are ok. If you're doctor tells you otherwise then see another one. I took citalopram throughout both my pregnancies and I was fine. The recommendation is that if the benefit to the mother out weighs the risk to the foetus (which in this case it does) then you should be allowed back on them. But even if you don't want to, just know that you won't be like this forever. Masses of luck. You're going to be ok! Xx

[@emmajane9986]

Jess Helicopter Thank you so much. I’ve been assigned a consultant to give me a bit extra support with my anxiety and depression while I’m pregnant so I’ll mention about medication thanks for telling me :) it’s so comforting to hear other women have dealt with anxiety during pregnancy, I feel like I’m failing miserably already before the baby is even born! But I really appreciate your comment thank you! Xx

[@jessa67]

@@emmajane9986 I felt like that so much for various reasons during my first pregnancy. I had awful sickness and felt so guilty that i wasn't enjoying it like I thought I would or should. And i felt teribble because so many people struggle to get pregnant and here i was, hating every minute of it. But that's very normal, i now realise. Mother's guilt is a thing. Recognise it but don't give it power. You aren't being a rubbish mum, you're not failing.... it's just your brain tricking you into thinking you can't cope. You can and you will. X

[@giantmechforestsoldier3607]

I lost my job at a sewage treatment works a year ago which meant the world to me, I fell into an anxious depression for three months. I tried to install myself in a slightly different place that instead incinerates rubbish but they couldn't get me a role. These setbacks have brewed a paralysing depression in my heart and as a side effect I experience a lot of anxiety whenever a new opportunity arises. Having to wait for a new opportunity just increases it tenfold. Anxiety is really horrible to deal with and you have my complete sympathy, I hope you'll find the strength to overcome this one day Jenny!

[@goblingunk_]

I'm so sorry you go through this. :(

[@exlibrisas]

I'm sorry man. No offfence, but how in a world phrases like "sewage treatment" and "which meant the world to me" can go in once sentence? I hate my blue collar jobs and it's better to be be jobless sometimes instead of crap I have to do.

[@giantmechforestsoldier3607]

Dude, I was working in administration. Taking tanker surveys, bin collection audits, designing newsletters etc. Nobody even touches, makes contact or stands within 10 feet of the crap. It is an incredibly interesting job, There are over 30 departments within the treatment works some of them were engineering, finance, stock take, tanker management, health and safety auditors etc. What does deal with the crap is all automated, mechanical.

[@exlibrisas]

@@giantmechforestsoldier3607 Aa, ok since you made it clear. I wish I could get such a job but it is impossible in my country and for someone like me.

[@giantmechforestsoldier3607]

I've never been to Lithuania but given where it is situated and where it is next door to, I guess things can't always be great. I'm hundreds of miles away, in England. Things are poised to either get terribly worse and very similar to the 2008 financial crisis or things will stay the same, depending on whether the muppets in parliament get a sufficient trade deal or we get thrown out onto the proverbial streets.

[@fermash2]

I have watched you for years. You were one of my first favorite ASMRtists. I also struggle with anxiety, and even today, I had a panic attack after weeks of not having one and I felt defeated. & lo and behold, you posted this video. I love you. You don't know me, but know that some random girl living in the mountains of Kentucky really cares for you and wishes you all the warmth and love and peace life can provide. Thank you for sharing your life with us.

[@dustinkunish377]

You have helped me with my depression, anxiety and panic attacks for the last 6 years and I’m so thankful for you

[@gothicpsychic]

Anxiety is the worst. I've had it for going on 20+ years. ASMR is something that helps calm me down a bit and I love your roleplays. You always seem so confident on camera it's easy to forget that people put on a mask to hide it sometimes. You are doing absolutely fantastic. I know this video is a little old now but I hope you are still going strong and things are getting better.

[@DAAM316]

Thank You for sharing such a personal video, I myself have Autism, Aspergers and other related problems and anxiety is unfortunately something that has gotten worse over time. It has always been pretty bad but about 5-6 years ago the thought of loosing my parents suddenly hit me HARD and this caused my anxiety to go up more than ever to the point where I have to ring them at least once a week just to know that they are still there. I have also moved my furniture around in my living room so I am looking at my door so I know if someone other than me is in my home. I have been as subscriber to both your channels for a good number of years now and both have been useful for either getting me to sleep or calming me down or just to help me laugh and smile, you are truly what this youtube platform is all about and you should be very proud of yourself for the just quality of content you have made but for the quality of person you are. 😍

[@leadiyon]

Thank you for sharing your story. You’re incredibly strong and deserve everything good in life. ❤️❤️

[@morgan79737]

Anxiety and overthinking is ruining my life, and no amount of therapy or CBT seems to be helpful, but despite all that I am so so proud of you for overcoming it and living your best life, Jen. That gives everyone else hope. Take care

[@radioheadinc]

I know the feeling those negative thoughts possess you and puts a tight grip into your brain and simply just trying to ignore them is next to impossible. I’m so happy you’re much better. Keep doing what you’re doing, you’re great at it.

[@NK-cb8xg]

To add, i have been maintaining taking the medicine for about over a year and it is amazing. I am in the same boat where I am saving up to buy a house so I am with my parents but this is after my boyfriend broke up with me after 8 years together. During the same time my Guinea pigs passed away, so I moved back with family and my dog passed away (all from old age). I thought what is the point and I always everyday still think what have I accomplished? So I am there with you. But without the medicine no way would I be where I am today. It’s a very emotional subject and I burst into tears every time I talk about it because it’s just so stressful because (at least for me) you don’t think about how it affects yourself as much as you think about how what you have affects the ones around you. Thank you for posting this because you are not alone. I could never do videos for people so you are amazing and great advocate

[@NightShineASMR]

never be ashamed of your story, thank you for this❤️

[@webds]

I have had anxiety my whole life. Good for you being brave enough to go public with you're experiences in order to help others. Ive been with you since your channel began. Big hugs!

[@Bx50]

Wow.. I would've never guessed you struggled with anxiety, you were one of the first asmr channels I spammed and you're always so out there and full of energy and charisma. It couldn't have been easy to make this video, so truly thank you! I'm sure you AT LEAST affected a couple thousand different lives by making them more bearable and easier through your journey and I know I for one sought refuge in your videos on maaaany many nights of being bombarded with stress and feelings of helplessness or lack of control over my life. The mere fact I could choose your channel in particular, the fact that I knew that new videos would be waiting for me whenever I had to retreat back to it, to your unique and always so highly passionate content, it brought too much peace of mind for my words to describe. We're always here for you, if there's anything or anywhere we can be to reach out to you when needed, please don't hesitate to share or ask it of us, I'm sure many would be just as eager to respond! Once again thank you truly, and as always we await your new videos ^^ have a wonderful rest of your day

[@realravenrain]

You're very brave to open up about this. Instead of worrying about making your mark on the world, worry about making your mark on yourself.

[@chilledtactical2379]

Dear Jen, what an amazing thing you have done for others by posting this video. So brave and I’m sure you must have needed a lot of soul searching to open up so much about how you feel and cope with things. As others have noted, you help 130k people through your videos. Take much comfort and be immensely proud of that achievement. You go girl! All the best Mark

[@TheSammyrae215]

Thank you for sharing Jen. As someone who experiences anxiety daily, it's comforting to hear another's experience and know you're not alone.

[@angela9261988]

Sharing your story will be an inspiration to others. It takes a lot of courage to do that. Great job, Jen!

[@robharwood3538]

It is definitely an inspiration to me, so I think you're right about that! 😊

[@Sebastian-vi2jh]

This is so therapeutic to those who suffer like you. It shows that if a beautiful talented and seemingly very confident person can suffer from this then anyone can. I found that it is just something you learn to live with and control and on a bad day think this will pass and in a while I’ll feel better.

[@Bigglesworthmoo]

35 year old male, works in construction and I've struggled with anxiety for years, but had a serious spell of depression at the beginning of the year. To be fair, I didn't understand it at first, thought it was a normal occurrence for everyone until I hit bottom. Only then did I realise something was seriously wrong. With the support of my family I got help, the doctors gave me anti-depressantants and I paid for a weekly visit to see a therapist. During my lowest points I could only sleep listening to Asmr, especially your videos. Not so much for the tingles, but the reassuring soft voice. You genuinely helped me through one of the toughest periods of my adult life, and I am grateful to you for your time and energy. My depression is now behind me, but I do still suffer from anxiety, its getting better, but it's taking time. There is absolutely no shame in suffering from any illness, physical or mental, and mental illnesses are much more common than people think, and they affect anyone and everyone at some point. Take care of yourself, small steps forward. :)

[@Grantler327]

I haven't commented on KZbin in years, but this... and you... well, now I'm tearing up. Thank you for your contagious courage and for being so generous with your story. Anxiety and depression have plagued me immensely the last couple of years (and, consequently, those around me), so it's hard to hear that it has affected you so deeply. ASMR has been a small yet invaluable addition to my routine, so I'm blessed to have stumbled upon you. You're doing a wonderful thing with your skills and, as a fellow video editor and writer, I understand all too well your concern for "making a mark on the world" and "daily achievement." It's easy to forget the sum of our small successes, and even easier to self criticize and overthink. It's wonderful that you're staying proactive against old nerves and taking charge of what makes you happy. If you'll allow a stranger on the Internet to say so (after anxiety itself edited this paragraph countless times), you seem very wise, very talented, and, most of all, very compassionate. Wishing you tremendous success in your writing and ASMR pursuits and rooting for you from Los Angeles!

[@countmarti]

Thank you for sharing this. You're so sweet. It meant alot to me because I also struggle with anxiety and have for many years now. So many of the things you said could've come out of my mouth - the panic attacks at work, the physical symptoms of anxiety and panic (which just give me more anxiety. Ugh, those are the worst), being nervous and overwhelmed around other people, the whole thing making me feel like I can't do anything or accomplish anything. I hate that other people suffer this way too. To hear how you've worked your way into a better place is encouraging though and motivational. So thank you.

[@misstiff2390]

Thank you for sharing your story. I’ve had anxiety all my life, it runs in the family, and it has always been a struggle to deal with. It’s definitely a roller coaster, some days are better than others. The past two years or so I thought I was doing better, but the last few months were really rough. I got married in October and at our rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding I had a complete panic attack. Having so many people in such a small place, on top of all of the stress from planning, completely set off my anxiety. I started sobbing which made my anxiety worse because then I was anxious about what people would think. Anxiety is awful, but I’m glad people are starting to talk more about it since it does affect so many people.

[@ktmc317]

Thank you for posting this. I’ve been going through a low time with anxiety lately. The last few months have been probably the hardest in my life. Seeing you get emotional half way through this about having panic attacks at work... I relate so much to that. I think the only way we can get to the bottom of why so many of us humans are depressed/anxious is if we all share information and our stories. ❤️

[@richcon97]

You're not alone in this. I have been dealing with anxiety my whole life and it's hard to over come at times. Being around family and friends really helps. Watching your videos have also helped a lot so thank you for your amazing videos 😊.

[@RenewedAurora]

So, decided to go through and just watch a bunch of you videos and found this. Anxiety is a mess. I suffer from Anxiety and Depression and that is such a deadly combo. I have days where my depression tells me to just no do anything and it isn't worth it, but then my anxiety triggers and I just mentally fall into shambles. I never really had Anxiety until I got depression because I started to worry about what would happen around me and just made me more anxious than I ever thought I could. My peers noticed changes in my behavior before I ever did. I noticed things in 8th grade when I attempted to end my life. I found ways to cope with the depression but have never found a way to cope with the anxiety. Super good to see you share your story. I wish I could remember my whole story, but I mentally repressed so much that I can't anymore. Maybe in a few years (I'm only 21 so quite young yet) I'll have found ways to cope and better myself as you did.

[@911Emodude]

It takes alot of courage to share a story like this. I know exactly what you're going through, since I've been through a similar situation to your own. Remember that we're all here for you and keep doing what you're doing. You are a very talented person and we love you for who you are. Just stay strong out there.

[@gaiachan3686]

I've already told you on ig, but that haircut looks gorgeous on you!

[@waynej9420]

Jen, from one anxiety sufferer to another I salute you. More people should take note from you and speak out more about it. Mine is very deeply rooted connected to my childhood/youth and my upbringing. It's a horrible affliction and it affects my life in a massive way and has ended relationships in the past, as some people don't understand it. Not gonna waffle about but I just want to thank you for this video x

[@savvireads]

Thank you for sharing your story 💕 I'm really struggling with feelings of anxiety and panic right now. It was bad a couple of years ago, then it very gradually got a lot better, but I just fell apart a few weeks back and it's just... it sucks. I'm starting to feel slightly better reaaalllyyyy slowly now, but it's still an ongoing struggle. Sometimes listening to other people's stories helps, at least to make me feel not so alone in this. So thanks so much for sharing. I found a lot of recognition in your story and I'm very glad I finally got around to watching it. It's so good to hear you're doing better, I truly wish you all the best 💕💕

[@Sebastian-vi2jh]

Thanks for sharing your story if someone as beautiful, talented and creative as you can feel like this then it can affect anyone. I am happy for you that you are getting on top of it and feeling better. Your videos are so amazing and relaxing you are helping others with their relaxation and anxiety issues. PS don’t worry about rushing to move out. I can guarantee you your mum will be happy the longer you stay 😊

[@ChickChickChirp]

I have social anxiety, and starting after the summer of 2018, it has finally decided to show up to a high level. In January of 2019, I had my first panic attack... I felt sick, my body was heating up, and I felt as if someone was holding a gun to my head. I then had to sit outside for about 30 minutes just to cool down. Then in the beginning of February, I had two more panic attacks. This time they were at school. My principal had started yelling at everyone in the grade and I started to panic. The second one I had in February went like this... The principal was yelling at the whole grade again i leaned my head of my GFs shoulder to help me calm down since we were so close. But then, the teacher needed her to do something and that meant that she had to leave the room. As soon as she left I started hearing up and I also started crying and I hugged my knees as I tried to hide the pain and tears. Once my gf got back i hugged her

[@avalonjustin]

You wouldn't believe how many people have suffered the unbelievable horrors of anxiety and depression. I've been there. Suffered so bad I almost ended my life a few times to stop the pain. Lost jobs because I was just dying inside. God love ya girl. It always gets better, and the suffering always goes away.

[@jamiephillips5350]

So many of my college students suffer anxiety. I will put them on this video. They need help. Especially this time of year.

[@dexcinder6538]

You are showing a lot of courage and strength by making this video and keeping it unedited. It's not easy being vulnerable. I can definitely relate to having anxiety and depression. I've been depressed more than once and are still struggling with anxiety after many, many years. It's really great that making videos are helping you with that! I'm also impressed by all the roleplay videos you've been doing lately. They are very enjoyable, well-made with your unique twist on them. Thank you for making these videos and helping me, as well as many others through tough times in their lives.

[@fransjansnoek]

Thanks so much for this video, Jen! I think you are very brave for being so open and honest about such personal matters. Greetings from Holland!

[@BryanAnderson]

You've certainly helped me so, so much. I've had a really tough few years with losing my high paying job, getting down, getting ill (Norovirus, too!) and most recently the breakup of a 24year marriage. I can see that I'm developing worse and worse anxiety and although I'm at a bit of a loss as to how to start looking for help/solutions, your voice has helped me calm down and stop thinking and sleep at night and for that I'll be forever thankful to you.

[@raylabelle6120]

The struggle is real sweet girl. Those of us who deal with it everyday is a battle that can be overwhelming. Thank you for sharing your story. ❤

[@owenmerrick2377]

Thanks for sharing! Anxiety/depression is a real challenge, surviving with it and then thriving a little is so sweet. It is much sweeter when you can turn around and help shepherd another. This is only the like, third video of yours I've seen, so I'll be watching. Good work!

[@sunnyarnold9041]

This video was so relatable. When you were starting to get real emotional I just wanted to give you a hug because I really felt your pain.

[@bdslade]

Thanks for being so open and honest, what a great step in beating your anxiety. You don't need to apologize or feel bad for getting emotional or crying, it's a difficult and personal topic for you, so you have every right to react as you did! Keep on fighting, growing, and working towards overcoming it completely! Best wishes!

[@kimberlysinclair9378]

Thank you for sharing your story. I overcame a major fear and flew to visit my best friend in England for two weeks. When she dropped me back off at the airport, I had the worst panic attack and ended up sobbing and hyperventilating in a public toilet. I am now seeking help and your channel helps me all the time. Thank you!

[@greypossum1]

I began watching your videos over five years ago and I can only begin to describe how much you have helped me with my anxieties. Your ever smiling face and very cheerful disposition are a blessing to me as you have brightened up many of my down days. Best wishes to you, but mostly thank you for so much, consistently.

[@MeatJuice.]

Thanks for sharing, Jen! I always like to hear about others' anxiety experiences, and how they're similar/different than my own. I couldn't leave my house for 2 years without having a panic attack within minutes... Even when I was home in bed, I would get them. Eventually I found advice and personal anxiety experiences from others online, and began to put myself into the kind of situations that would trigger anxiety. This definitely helped, and over the course of years, my anxiety became more manageable. I still have occasional bouts of anxiety(today included), but nothing like I used to. The thing that keeps anxiety and depression at bay for me is exercise. I have a fairly active job now, and I can't see myself sitting at a desk for 8+ hours ever again. Take care, and thanks for many years of entertainment, relaxation and sleep!

[@daquelly2660]

Thank you for opening up about this ❤️ mental illness is something that’s so stigmatized it’s so good that someone with a platform like yours is open about it. We love you ❤️

[@snowfort77]

You’re not alone. I understand the frustration that goes along with anxiety. My own anxiety developed from childhood but peaked in college. I’m in my mid 40’s now and it’s gotten better but I’ve had to make massive adjustments. I was on Buspirone for over a decade and it helped even me out but I went off it after I moved to a smaller town and found a low stress career. I still deal with anxiety and depression but at least I’m in a place where I can manage it on my own. I think you’re lovely and make good videos. I hope things get better for you. Just remember, people who suffer anxiety are usually really smart and empathetic. You’re a good egg.

[@ttoby7496]

I’m so glad you’re comfortable sharing this with us. You are such an amazing person, and you help so many people in this world. Thank you for everything ❤️. Ps: The Harlee Quinn video is the most amazing video I’ve ever watched❤️, so glad it’s you to be the one❤️.

[@1000000man1]

Seeing you cry broke my heart. I can relate to so much of this. You have definitely made a difference. As far as I'm concerned, you're the Best ASMRtist in the world. You've literally helped me through grief and illness and I wish I could repay you somehow. You're an amazing person. I know this video is over a Year old but I must have missed it. I actually became seriously ill the year it was uploaded (I have a Clot in my brain) Either that or I did see it and I've forgotten.

[@yakumofujii886]

Thanks for sharing your experiences with Anxiety/Depression. It can be difficult for some people to understand it, but sharing like this really helps explain how it effects people who experience life like that. It can be difficult at times but knowing the symptoms and having the right support structure in place really helps. I'm glad that things are doing better for you and you are able to enjoy life to your best abilities.

[@willowindi]

Seeing how upset you were when you were talking about how it affected your Mam definitely shows the size of your heart. Anxiety and depression are a bitch. You’re so brave 💕

[@AdeleDawn0161]

Jen this happened to me about 4 years ago I suffered so bad, you have helped me more than you know am so grateful to you for helping me relax to your videos..this was difficult for you to make and your really brave,i bet you have helped loads of us out there don't be hard on yourself do things that make you happy thanks again Jen your a sure star xx

[@DoofusDomainCleric]

Thank you for having the courage to share your story and help remind so many people that they are not alone and several others are going through the same battle. I've been going to VA for about 4 months now after years of trying to "man up" and "get over it". I've found it's easy to forget sometimes that so many people are experiencing the same thing and I'm not some kind of freak. You are an awesome person and have definitely helped me today.

[@theAlx]

Thank you for being honest about something so personal, and for understanding how a video like this could help and resonate with your audience. "Not having moved out" and "not having left my mark in the world" are also two of the main things that get me down. I try to take solace in the fact that everything happens at different rates for different people, and that the uncertainty of the future doesn't have to represent only gloom and doom, as, statistically, good things are as likely to happen. Sharing experiences with other people and realizing that we're all just trying to make life work is also very helpful, so thank you!

[@tomhanks4576]

If your goal was to cry me to sleep, congratulations lol. Your story hit deep. I've never had anxiety that bad but I do have other mental health issues like bi-polar, which is a struggle. I just want to say your awesome and incredibly brave for sharing your story. Thank you.

[@seeringsiren]

Thank you for sharing this side of yourself with your audience. It's so brave of you. You're amazing. You never know who this will reach at just the right time. There's hope for EVERYONE that deals with mental health issues 💖

[@jamesnicholls5994]

I’m currently going through depression and anxiety and you sharing this video has really helped me to realise that I will get through it. Thank you.

[@JAL5928]

Hi Jen! I’ve been a subscriber for years (I think since 2012) but I’ve never commented (on any KZbin video, ever) but I wanted to tell you that I think you are an incredibly brave and strong person. I have dealt with anxiety and depression since leaving college, that often manifests itself as OCD and panic attacks. I relate to so many things you said in this video. And I know that often, in the midst of depression and bad days, it can feel like nothing you do matters or that you aren’t making enough “progress”. But you have a built a creative and unique channel that has helped so many-including me. When I was first starting medication, I was sleeping horribly and your sleepover roleplay video was the only thing that could put me to sleep. I am so thankful for that, and for this amazing channel. Your creativity, work ethic, and journey to overcome your anxiety is inspiring. I’ll always be a fan!(and maybe I will comment more, haha) -Julia

[@VorpalBender]

Thanks for sharing your story and your own personal struggles with anxiety. I myself know how much of a daily nuisance and struggle it can be, so the fact that you are able to put out videos and whatnot is amazing. Thank you for helping out so many people and thanks again for this video.

[@xeroxhero5615]

Thank you for sharing your story. You’ve made a big impact on your community, even if it’s hard to see that some days. Keep being you! You’re an inspiration!

[@tbolick]

Oh my heavens, when you teared up, I wanted to give you a hug so bad I almost hugged my screen. Thank you for sharing yourself and your talent with us.

[@margiehandler3427]

Jenn...thanks for sharing this.....my anxiety started after I lost my mom ( she was very sick)….I was in my forties.....and still in my 60's I goo thru it.....it gets better....I understand....if I had a daughter I would want her to be like you....talented, funny,charming….it is hard to go thru...and anyone saying cheer up has no clue.....talking really does help.....I also use the meds and it helps.....keep up the great work u do......we are all here for you and love you and ur videos !!!!!!!! You are amazing ! and btw....you and several other ASMR artists are my therapy

[@mtreams72]

I am overwhelmed by this video. That took so much heart, and courage, to put yourself out there like that, and show all and sundry, a really vulnerable side of yourself. I too, battle with depression and anxiety. I know the struggle with what I have dubbed, over time, as "The Beast", and how important it is to just keep breathing, if nothing else. I have learned that the little things can make all the difference: a glance, a smile, or kind word. I know am "late to the party", as this video is, apparently, a couple of years old. Nevertheless, I still wanted to just say thank you for showing everyone, such a side of yourself. Makes you even more endearing, in my opinion.

[@Seryigs]

Thank you very much for sharing this. Some time ago I came to the conclusion that knowing there's more people with anxiety helps me with my own anxiety, sadly. It's something I even repeat to myself during peak moments/attacks, and I don't know why it seems to work. I guess If you feel are not the only one, and you constantly hear people describing exactly the same symptoms that you have, and even how they overcome them to some extent, you begin to think that what you are experiencing is not "that weird" (you stop feeling alienated and feel comforted). So, again, thank you for sitting in front of a camera, putting on a smile and sharing this intimate negative experience with the whole world. It's truly meaningful for me. You are far from alone in this. You can tell by going through all the comments that you have full support from the ASMR community.

[@404_profile_not_found]

You are wonderful, Jen. All of us strangers around the world are comforted by your ASMR so much, and I hope that you know how much we truly, deeply appreciate you. If you feel low or alone, there are hundreds or thousands of us around the world who'll be there for you. Your story is very similar to my own and I'm sure many others in here and when you started to cry, it crushed me inside. I'm so glad you're doing better. Virtual hugs from Canada

[@AnnaG-to2ke]

Thank you for this, sometimes these things make us feel very isolated. Lovely people like you being brave enough to share how you are affected and how you are learning to cope really help when i get overwhelmed. It helps to break down the wall you can sometimes build around yourself if you suffer from anxiety or depression. Sending love and respect ♡

[@barry7868]

I've been subbed to your channel now for years, and the care and effort you put towards your videos never ceases to amaze me. Your ASMR has personally helped me with my own stresses and anxieties, and I want to thank you for that. You're such a sweetheart and I wish you all the best!

[@Katha270]

You really deserve the best. I can relate so much. Thank you for showing us all that we're not alone with the voices of anxiety in our heads. ♡

[@garysscaryfaeries3046]

Thanks for sharing Jenn! It is very difficult to say you are not alright! What helped me recently was scratch building halloween display items, all my focus went into building these scary, nightmarish things, but it really helped. Take care Jenn, and never give up!

[@godnyx117]

Thank you for sharing your story! I don't think that it is embarrassing to tear up on the video, the exact opposite! It actually made me admire and respect you much much more! I have also gotten through the state of having anxiety from 2018 (17 years old) up until half a year ago and this video is very relatable. Thank you for speaking out and sharing your experience and tips for other people so they can hopefully get some help cause having anxiety and depression is the worse! I wish everyone that goes through that to become better and start enjoying life! I hope that after 4 years, you have become even better and if you want, I (and probably everyone else) would love if you made an update on how you are doing. But even if you don't want to do it, I truly truly wish you the best!

[@LhasaThailand]

I will never understand, depression, stress and anxiety. In any case, thank you for your videos. They definately help me sleep. Good luck with your battles.

[@christopheratkins3394]

I suffer from the same anxieties all of my life.. You are helping me sleep better and you're very brave, sweetheart. Keep going, kid xxx

[@fbnssfatboy]

A little late onto the bandwagon, but i'll admit i only recently discovered you (love everything i've watched btw, many a snooze i've had to your videos), but i can safely say this video has helped me. Anxiety hasn't really been an issue for me until very recently, but depression hit me hard in my later years at university. I remember locking myself in a dark bathroom for 6 hrs while my dog scratched the other side of the door trying to grab my attention (she is my angel, literally the best thing depressed me could ask for... most of the time). Recently though, anxiety has been creeping up on me. to celebrate the new decade i've made a drastic change by getting a new job, moving to a new city away from my friends and the life i built through the whole 2010s. Despite liking my job and being excited at the prospect of living in Brighton (a thriving and diverse city) I just cannot shake the doubts and nervous thoughts out of my head. Some of your videos have been the only reason I've slept in the last few weeks, and this video has given me some great advice to put forward. Words cannot describe how much of an impact you've had on me this last month, and I'm sure you will continue to do so in the future. Great job, keep doing what you're doing!

[@jerodtew2]

Thank you for making this video. I can't describe to you how this has made me feel. I've dealt with with this for years, and hearing you talk about it, has given me a lot of courage. Thank you

[@Deemikey]

It takes a lot of courage to put what you are/were going through out there where anyone can see it, and it's much appreciated. You have as of now 129K people who care about you very much and many of us are, or were, going through similar things at some point in our lives and we managed to get through it. Better days ahead!!! XOXO

[@saragaber3612]

Do not be sorry for anything!! U r an open hearted beautiful human being and you are entitled to your own battles and wins, thank you for sharing!!

[@LoganBewley]

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I can't imagine how hard it is to share something so personal with us, but hearing that others have the same struggles really helps. You have definitely made a positive impact on me and countless others. So thank you, and stay strong, because you have helped us do the same!

[@jon_deluxe]

Thank you so much. Thank you so very much for this, really. I've been struggling with social anxiety most of my life. I don't get physically ill, but I overthink things. A lot. My mind becomes this increasingly tangled web and I can't act the way I wanted to. Eventually I can get so overwhelmed that it freezes me. And in the last year or so, I've been struggling with depression as well, which has made things worse. After hitting rock bottom a few months ago, I've been feeling a bit better lately. But it's all still there. Your video hits very close to home because you brought up a lot of things I have experienced as well. When you know you should be up and doing things, but you'd rather stay in bed all day. People telling you to "just cheer up!", like your mind had this switch you could just flip on and off to make you feel better. Crushing loneliness. Playing video games because they help take your mind off your issues for a while. That feeling of anxiety before you do something, thinking about what other people might think of you. The feeling that you haven't achieved anything, and that whatever you're doing is never enough. And then you see other people go on about their lives, and they all seem so well adjusted and handling things just fine, and you get this sinking feeling that you're the only one who's a wreck. And you blame yourself for not doing things right, for not being strong enough, or not trying hard enough. Which only makes you feel worse. I know that when you feel like that, words can often fall flat and don't always help. But for whatever it's worth, I've been following you for years (the first video I watched in your channel was either the first face paint video or the zombie apocalypse RP, can't remember which one), and thus I'm grateful not only for bringing this topic up and for your courage to open up before all of us, but also for all the content you have created through the years. Your videos have helped me a lot. Your creativity never ceases to amaze me. You're so strong because you keep trying to get things done. I could go on and on about so many things, but I think this comment is long enough already. I hope things get better, and have a wonderful life.

[@JJ-db5fv]

Thanks so much. It takes an incredible amount courage to talk about and like a lot of people, I doubt I ever will. Just listening to your story helps me so much more than I could ever show you and I know a lot of people watching this feel the same way. Never stop being yourself. You are amazing.