My husband has been playing a character for 10 years, he never loved me. It gets even worse...

[@mongviemong]

The very first thing OP need to do is change her therapist. Where she find that turd? Better help?

[@bunnysmile1o1]

Yeah! Fuck better help. 😆 🤣

[@deusex4905]

I'm genuinely worried for op in the first story. She deserves love, and a better therapist, and the husband should have gotten therapy wayyy sooner, it upset me

[@Azulakayes]

Story 1: Oh my God. OP will die right right before our eyes. I am scared for her.

[@anthony.morales6917]

I hope she finds support from their friends.

[@DumbAsh00]

Feeling like you dont deserve anything is a good thing????? What???? She must have went with betterhelp cuz that is the worst advice ive heard

[@Azulakayes]

Or a religious therapist.

[@hgmachinery8406]

Maybe it's not about thinking we don't deserve anything, but about learning to accept and grow from past mistakes.

[@DumbAsh00]

@@hgmachinery8406 that makes zero sense

[@PestilentAllosaurus]

​@@hgmachinery8406 What????

[@sablenitez]

​@@hgmachinery8406 oh so YOU were ops therapist, got it

[@emanx222]

Daaaaaammmmnnnn this first OP is so deeply broken. My heart hurts listening to her justify the bullshit

[@WittyWalnut-d5m]

Absolutely. It was really hard to hear, and I hope that she can recognise that she is a people pleaser, and to get help for it, for her own sake and sanity. People pleasers can really be taken advantage of, and it sounds like that's what's been happening with her partner, and boss. I say this as someone that has had to work on this exact issue, and it's very freeing to put oneself on the top of the priority list, instead of consistently on the bottom. It's a process, but so worth it.

[@mohammudyousuf622]

This is a response from OP before 2yrs I am alright. I got a postnup. My grandmother got very sick so l went back alone to my home country. An unofficial separation. She didn't make it. I still feel like my heart has been ripped out. I was in both physical and emotional pain. My husband had a severe breakdown and was hospitalized because I wasn't there. His family and friends begged me to come back so l did. I couldn't go back to work. I stay at home. he takes care of me.

[@Nat-eb1ix]

Sounds like OP has some bullsh1t Better Help therapist - try finding a real therapist, the people at Better Help are not actually licensed and theyre forced to have insane caseloads. Honestly if OP dies from this BS advice i hope the therapist is sued

[@danielquinlan2457]

Who's going to sue? The husband who doesn't love her?

[@Luna2077mon]

I think she’s has to be the most biggest people pleaser i’ve ever heard

[@WittyWalnut-d5m]

That's what popped into my mind alot during the story. I was a bad people pleaser in the past, and put myself to the back of the line in the sense of priorities. It wasn't worth it ultimately coz I gave away all my power, choices, self identity to an abuser that used the people pleasing against me for his own benefit. Ironically, I too have BPD and that caused unhealthy codependency (I wasn't aware or diagnosed at the time) which made me stay way longer than I should have. I wish she could have that epiphany to know she is worth so much more than what she is giving herself credit for. It was hard to hear, and I hope that it's something she can recognise and work on for her own sake and sanity.

[@whitehawk7082]

Story 1: Even if OP is in denial, it’s blatantly obvious that she’s a victim of all facets of domestic abuse i.e. emotional, psychological, and physical. Her husband is manipulative af so I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s refusing to divorce her because he wants to get everything when she dies. Tbh, I fear for her life.

[@CasualVFlowerEnjoyer]

Her therapist is a piece of shit too. Its good to feel you don't deserve anything?! Everyone is dragging this poor girl down. Her therapist is supposed to help her build confidence which she would use to leave her leech husband and make a life living for herself and not others. But instead they're affirming her self-loathing, which will keep her in place and probably end her. That therapist strikes me as one of the ones you hear about where THEY have severe mental health issues, but instead of getting therapy, they become a therapist. It happens more often than you'd like to hear. Therapy is a popular career among narcissists. Probably because in the end, it is a form of manipulating others. Usually for the positive. Usually.

[@Bree5three]

Seriously, I shuddered at him going to get her a cup of water and her meds. What if it's the wrong prescription? What if the water's unsafe too? She better watch her back.

[@WittyWalnut-d5m]

Crap, I didn't even consider that, but makes complete sense considering he was rejecting a very generous divorce settlement/alimomy, when let's face it, being as manipulative as he's been for so long, he doesn't even deserve it. But I really think you've hit the nail on the head here.

[@iovankadias9218]

OP is such a doormat, it's so painful to know how low her self esteem is and how she keeps excusing other people's lousy behaviour

[@alicedelgado955]

OP get a new therapist. no one ever says it's good to feel the way you feel. you're dealing with a hack who just wants your money

[@evanwillis1870]

I worry that she's using something like Better Help which has had a LOT of problems with unqualified individuals passing themselves off as real licensed councilors and therapists.

[@tanglethefox6158]

@@evanwillis1870 thats good to know, cuz ive actually kinda been considering it.

[@ABadPassword]

DAMN our editors work quick, cause I just recorded this 😂

[@_lei_c_8138]

Gotta love them editors 🎉❤

[@jenniferkorf4767]

They got the steroids

[@Bladze2084]

They recorded you recording

[@ABadPassword]

@@Bladze2084 Efficient bastards

[@BambixLynn]

Are you the one that says “bye bye”?

[@Jamalova15]

Story 1: OP therapist is rubbing their hands at all the money he/she will make off of them.

[@gemcorker3982]

I'm really struck how OP in the 1st story is constantly ill or recovering from some surgery, and her husband just LOVES being her caregiver. She needs him to irrigate the sockets her wisdom teeth were in after she got a nasty infection, she's recovering from a hysterectomy, he's happily doing all the chores and cooking but then "accidentally" punches her in the jaw badly enough people question if he hits her? She seems to have a pretty delicate constitution, getting fevers & headaches pretty easily & he is always on hand to give her meds... & she just takes them, unquestioningly. I'm really starting to think he's realised her health being poor is a way he can keep her trapped in the relationship & dependent on him, & he may be taking steps to keep her ill & injured to stop her divorcing him

[@laraechesney]

RIGHT?! That's some 'Flowers in the Attic' arsenic shit righ there....damn...

[@TheMelly1976]

I think the fact she had wisdom tooth surgery and infections is what made her face look bad and swollen. Him accidentally hitting her and not explaining to his friends what happened is what's confusing her because she said it was genuinely an accident.

[@WittyWalnut-d5m]

Someone in another comment mentioned about the domestic abuse elements they've picked up on (I had been more distracted by the heavy people pleasing) but then mentioned that he's refusing divorce coz he probably wants to get all her assets if she passes, and that she could be at risk, and should be careful. I hadn't even considered that, but now it's been said, it's hard to not see that now. Scary stuff.

[@vampireadjacent]

wait… marriage counselors cannot also provide individual counseling for one member of the couple they’re helping. that’s so unethical

[@LivRogers-tw6oe]

Story 1 he is going to hurt her , she needs to find a really good lawyer and be honest with them then leave her loser husband

[@fa1ruz]

Story 1 stresses me tf out!

[@whoknowsaymore6210]

we should let narrator cuss

[@brigandboy1425]

I'm finding it hard to believe the story 1 is real. Not because of inconsistencies or bad grammar but... how could anyone be this unlucky with everyone around her? *NO ONE* is in her corner, and that is statistically unlikely in the extreme.

[@xeyesofstardustx]

this video is proof that anybody can be a therapist. Not a good one, but you can get it as a job because there’s so many awful ones out there there. Like how the hell did they even pass the bar awful?

[@igotmyapplejuice7094]

Hello folks, before the craziness. Here's a bonfire have a quick rest and leave advice or random positivity for strangers passing by.

[@igotmyapplejuice7094]

Your life matters, no matter where you are in life you bring hope. Either to yourself, another person, or even another living being. You deserve love and for your love to be shared. Thank you visitor for your time you at least made me happy for your time.

[@DumbAsh00]

My advice: it's the drunk crashers that give drunk drivers a bad rep, don't let your dreams be dreams, go booze cruise :3

[@ABadPassword]

@@DumbAsh00 See, this comment thread encapsulates my entire being. I indulge the serious, only to be enticed by the silly. I really love the sentiment of the original comment and loving yourself, then I see support for drunk driving and I'm like "Hell yeah!"

[@DumbAsh00]

@@ABadPassword hehe

[@ABadPassword]

@@DumbAsh00 Really?! I went to Tomfoolery University. Majored in whimsicality and also Shenanigans.

[@brandoncrook5361]

Twenty minutes in and my brain is fried I don’t know what to think at this point that would help in the slightest I got nothing the family sounds toxic therapist is an idiot and the husband is if I’m using the term correctly using emotional blackmail to keep OP and him together

[@WittyWalnut-d5m]

Absolutely. And someone in another comment mentioned about the reason he's probably refusing divorce, is so that he can inherit all her assets when she passes. Which could be putting her at risk. Scary stuff.

[@rinpaisys]

Jfc everyone involved are such deeply broken people. This whole thing is a genuine tragedy.

[@Iflie]

Yeah he picked her because she had money and wouldn't leave him and I guess her affections constantly reassured him he was loved and she'd stay. Even her illness made him happy I think because it meant she needed him. She was like his perfect match except he doesn't really seem to know how to love, or he loves her and doesn't realize it. And she just has terribly low selfesteem, so she's skinny, I doubt she's as ugly as she thinks she is, maybe it's a cultural thing.

[@The_Nightsong]

Story 1: wow, the husband is truly horrible 😮😮 poor OP 😢

[@hypnotherapy69]

Everyone is an asshole exept for op😢

[@miriley6]

I'm only 20 mins in and like....holy shit. OP definitely needs a new therapist and to learn how to love themselves, needs to get rid of their husband ASAP, buuuut the way they talk about their life and the people in it...idk if therapy would even help lol....their life situation is just so.... messed up

[@boujee.vagabond]

She pisses me off so bad!!! Stand up girl!

[@Sevness]

48:05 This is why I ultimately started to follow Sparked, the fact he can giggle at the word Fiduciary and admit to it. Just a fun sense of humor and can make jokes about most of these stories and always has great commentary to give.

[@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259]

She has noone, no support.

[@EveHawk12]

Story 1 - That poor girl jeez

[@ryangooseling]

Damn! Just talk honestly op. Op needs serious long term therapy

[@jenniferkorf4767]

Hjonk Hjönk brother

[@ryangooseling]

​@@jenniferkorf4767❤😂😂

[@hennigadient4265]

her husband is a huge a-hole! HE manipulates her and gaslights her. He playes the victim while HE is the one that played her. I wanna go to OP and fix here live! 1. Divorce him 2. A new therapist- and a looottt of Therapie 3. Get an other job

[@glintspark7748]

For story 2: If possible they could do the good ol laundering trick of putting the business in a family member's name pre-divorce if you have anyone you trust lmaooo

[@pasteldoll7274]

story 1: HOLYSHIT OP needs a bette EVERYTHING

[@A_Rose_From_Concrete]

Damn that first story is heartbreaking. OP needs a new therapist and needs to get away from her toxic emotionally abusive husband. She needs to learn to love herself and stop being a people pleaser. Everyone has told her she is not good enough and she believes it

[@Kimitips]

The first op, her marriage, her marriage and her mental health is messed up😐

[@The_Nightsong]

I really want an update on these stories!!!

[@Wants2knowitall]

Story #4- I was married to a widower, in some communities, it’s like the widower belongs to the whole community. Lady, RUN. NOW. Run.

[@YourLocalTransSolangeloTherian]

(Story 1) Love, You deserve much better and promise me, you will not believe what your “Husband” and your “husband’s” friend say

[@CMTHFAF]

Story 1. OP is an idiot. Her husband may not understand the word “Love” but it’s pretty dang obvious he loves her.

[@kianna2530]

First story is very sad😔

[@1toshi32]

I can't believe this is real. It definitely sounds like something someone's made up. If it is real, she is the biggest sad sack I've ever encountered. Everyone walks all over her and she lets them. The only way she will get better is if she walks away from this. She's not responsible for her husband. He is responsible for himself. He is manipulating her and using her to bolster himself and his lifestyle. He only looks after her when she threatens to leave. She also needs to leave that shit job because they are also using her. Imagine working that many hours. That's just unheard of. That's what makes me think this is BS. Nah. Not real.

[@thesinofgreed6050]

How the hell does someone's fist accidentally hit someone's jaw that's like saying I accidentally closed my door when leaving the house

[@xxnerdy_lnleyxx9724]

She to find herself and love herself.

[@accidentalgoddess]

1st story...Alternate title: Codependency The Movie.

[@OneidaGC]

this won the internet for today

[@linola644]

Damn this story is just depressing

[@PestilentAllosaurus]

That first story gave me second hand depression sheeeesh

[@YRAT-mr8jq]

Umm... 300k and she doesn't consider herself wealthy... She should make her salary 30k for one year and then she can talk about struggling.

[@seiver5353]

10 years!! Bro move on or dont, but stop expecting women you date to hear about it every day.

[@audreycreer8109]

I cant continue listening to the craziness of the 1st story. She needs real professional help. The husband is gaslighting her.

[@leamubiu]

Story 1: it looks like OP is looking for advice/support that she can ignore. Such people are exhausting to have around. At first I thought she has enough self-love to call the bs, but eventually everything is an excuse to stay stuck in the same bad place. She has to learn to be selfish enough and to be assertive, and to stop making excuses for others’ bs. Nobody can make her see the light though, she’ll only learn when it’s finally hurt enough. I’m not sticking around to find out.

[@myhubbyislouisvuitton4218]

I’ve had a friend like this and you are right they are exhausting. I had to distance myself. We are no longer friends. She is perfectly matched to her husband. He feeds off of her, she knows it and she knows it and allows it. It’s very sad!

[@jrkev1]

@@myhubbyislouisvuitton4218i always wondered why the narrator will say things twice sometimes. Ur comment explains it

[@Wants2knowitall]

Story #1 This woman IS an askhole. She keeps asking for help and ignoring it. She doesn’t know what she is intrinsically? She is exhausting. Lol! If misery loves company, she is misery’s best friend. She is treating Reddit like a crappy blog. JFC, lady, you took 25 minutes of my life that I am never getting back, even if I get up 25 minutes early for the rest of my life and I live to be 375 years old.

[@tinkerhell-kj3mv]

Suspect Sam's wife isn't legit. Marriage counselors don't offer individual therapy to the same people they see for couples counseling.

[@MrCristl3r]

The therapist is unprofessional and is hurting her no actual good therapist will word it as that they should word it as “it is not okay to believe you deserve nothing while believing you don’t deserve everything is okay and I suggest you to take some time apart and just think with no sound.”

[@dragonbaby635]

New therapist immediately bruh. WTF

[@arynkoeings668]

i dated a woman with BPD for 13 years the amount of abuse they will convince you to overlook is insane they are like snake charmers to people who are at their hearts kind they will suck your life make you feel dependent on them till there is nothing for you to leave with of yourself and everyone who watches you slowly lose yourself and all the light you have will never comprehend why neither can you yourself my therapist says when you love someone like that you feel the need to be their hero and hero's sacrifice and the cycle is like a drug when their happy its like the best high when their hateful your the villain and always will be and it becomes impossible to break the cycle

[@sleepy_sheepz]

APRIL 29TH THATS MY BIRTHDAY! Thankfully I’m not entitled and going to text OP and tell him “you can’t get married that’s my birthday”. It’s really not that difficult to be a decent person.

[@micapowder1221]

@ story 1: I have BPD too, and yeah if the husband was actually working on his BPD and was more clear that wouldn’t be fair to break up with him over, but he hid it and is doing nothing about it. part of having something like BPD is you have to work on it or else you can seriously harm the people around you with that on top of everything else I hope OP is able to get out of there holy fck also op isn’t the ah for doing stuff on her own the fck? they actively abandoned her, and didn’t have her in mind when they planned everything. she was convinced to go so she could connect with her husband’s friends, but she couldn’t do anything??? “I hadn’t tried to contact him” OP did tho??? honestly poor op, there’s so much gaslighting going on

[@bunnysmile1o1]

Welcome to borderlines.

[@sophiarose8018]

The OP in the first story, needs to get out. Damn be the losses. She can get a new job, she can get a new support system, and I really do think she can get a new partner if she chooses that later on. But what she cannot get, is a new life if her husband takes hers. Unless she leaves, I don’t think she’s going to survive this situation. I am genuinely scared for her. I feel like if nothing changes for her, a year from now we are going to see a new true crime video on KZbin, about a Redditor, who was posting all these red flags about their partner, and then their partner took their life. And will go back and realize, oh my God it was her. Girl, GTFO.

[@whitebunnyfromfnafworld7268]

Story 1: Op needs to get the fuck out of the relationship

[@Rainbow_Rockstar]

1st story OP whines to much and wants people to fell sorry 4 her i think. If your life is so messed up then change it. And drop that loser 1st off and thats half the problem right there. She needs people on her side and stop being so negative are u will never find someone new that will love u!

[@TheMelly1976]

Story 1. They are both people pleasers. He's trying to please his friends by sticking to his bullsh!t story that he's only with her for the "free" ride, when in fact, he truly does love her and constantly having to take care of someone with both mental and physical illnesses is most definitely not the definition of a free ride. He needs to man up and stick up for his wife, and if they're truly his friends, they will accept that. She needs to change her therapist asap. She also needs to stop trying to please everyone before she puts herself into an early grave. Everyone needs to butt out of their marriage, and they should navigate this as a partnership with a good, solid marriage counsellor. And she needs to seriously work on her confidence and self esteem issues.

[@Bree5three]

No, he doesn't love her. A person that loved you wouldn't embarrass you like that or pick their friends over you. Also note that when he had the opportunity to reassure her after the convo she overheard, he doubled down, with no friends in sight. So those are his genuine feelings about their marriage. He may have grown fond of her over the years, they were together for at least 10 she said, so not every moment could be faked I suppose. That's as much credit as I would give.

[@michellehinds1884]

What game is being played in the background?

[@Yeshuah6]

The jar story op wtf get away from him

[@dollface2907]

for the story at 30 min in i actually though it was that story where op originally though one thing then it turned out she was delusional and actually got the help, its suck her situation but also wtf is wrong with her husband, it seem he was looking for someone load who was going to die so that he could get the money, and now seems to feel really guilty

[@gtc9966]

God. OP is such a mess.

[@SlimeisProbablyAutistic]

hey i just started listening to story two so i dont know if this addressed later but OP is 40, and her mother was 55... that means her mother had OP AT 15????

[@laraechesney]

It does happen. My mother was 14 when I was born. I was adopted though.

[@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259]

WHY IS EVERYONE SO MEAN TO OP??

[@autumnboards2911]

What's that game looks fun

[@arriarissa4157]

Alba: A Wildlife Adventure

[@jenniferkorf4767]

What’s the game in the background?

[@ABadPassword]

I think it's either Animal Crossing or Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 (2) but I can't tell

[@elocintygr]

Alba: A Wildlife Adventure

[@jenniferkorf4767]

Perhaps Call of Duty: Animal Warfare?

[@mayamorabito1669]

Is the first story even real? This stuff is weird.

[@The_Slammy_Jammy]

11:54 he is a gaslighter

[@FrostLordOni]

Story 1: You know, Reddit is funny. I remember a post from a guy who said his wife admitted she never loved him, and the comments were just full people convincing OP that his wife did actually love him but just didn’t know she did. Ultimately OP’s wife still said she never loved him, but if OP thought she did they’d stay together. This story sounds similar. The guy sounds like he actually loves the OP, he just doesn’t find her physically attractive. He’s not just with her for the money like Reddit seems to think, he’s with her for the stability. Now I don’t think the OP needs to stay with him, if she’s not okay with being with someone who doesn’t find her physically attractive that’s perfectly fine. I just find it funny how hypocritical Reddit is

[@availanila]

He doesn't love her, he loves the life she affords her. Don't confuse gold digging with love just because he's mentally ill. Also, that other story she wasn't mocking him behind hid back and letting her friends bully and harass her. She also didn't say awful things like this husband.

[@emanx222]

Wow idk what story you've just been listening to but I know the story you're comparing this one to and they are not remotely similar. Yes the OP in the other story found out his wife felt like she didn't actually love him but the wife's behaviour indicated love but just not the kind she was provably used to, she wasn't abusive like this husband, she didn't downplay OP's feelings like this husband, she didn't basically tell Op he hallucinated or that she never said things that she blatantly said, like this husband.... the stories are not the same or even remotely similar, you've taken the ONE aspect that ties them together and somehow made all kinds of leaps here......Lord alive The fact that you think the only major issue in this story Is that the husband simply doesn't find OP attractive (when there are a miriad of other issues with the husband) you definitely have not been paying attention to the story whatsoever.

[@codm22712]

Hi

[@ABadPassword]

Howdy

[@deelask3024]

I have borderline personality disorder this is about the husband wife story he may not understand it but he pursued her because he does love her she may not understand this either but that guy does love her borderline personality disorder makes it really hard for you to show your love right and you love everybody but it's different I don't know how to explain it but I just know that that guy loves his wife and I'm a woman borderline personality disorder makes everything harder he needs to go to those DBT classes learn skills the more skills you have in your arsenal to attack life with the better your life will be and do not think for a second just because he acted like he didn't love her that he didn't because he does love is different in her eyes

[@laraechesney]

It's totally fine if he has BPD, if he gets help he can do much better, no one is perfect. But if he refuses treatment like he has been...a person with untreated BPD can be really volatile and chaotic. And I've only befriended people with BPD, never dated one.

[@Bladze2084]

I like 🍕

[@Tinkerbell-d3j]

Naa story 1 WTF DID I HEAR girl y post ur story on Reddit if ur not goning to consider our opinion like jesus, I understand u love this person but this is not healthy please start helping urself to stop being a people pleaser I hope you r okay ❤❤

[@PilloTheStar]

"YOU CAN'T GASLIGHT ME" - John girlboss Cena

[@heyyitsjanea]

sweet jesus 1st op move to houston girl i will be your friend

[@Zzz_ash612]

I know I sound stupid, but I’ve been wanting to ask this for so long. What does OP mean? 😅😅😅

[@KumoriShichiyou]

It stands for Original Poster.

[@Zzz_ash612]

@@KumoriShichiyou thank uuuuuuuu

[@shadowasant4533]

What's the game in the background?

[@arriarissa4157]

Alba: A Wildlife Adventure