My husband left me VLOG: Week 4 | shocked and confused | Just as I'm starting to heal.

I truly appreciate you being here! I am so excited about my new journey. I will use this channel to show you a different side of me. I want to open up about everything that you guys may want to know about me.
BEAUTY, LIFESTYLE, HEALTH, HAULS, FRAGRANCES. IT WILL ALL BE ON THIS CHANNEL! ❤❤❤.
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👉 / shanaj
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[@fruitypopwhickle6806]

He is still the same man who; 1. Would not communicate with you during the marriage. 2. Would not participate in problem resolution. He left therapy because things weren't going his way. 3. Who shut down on you. 4. Who left you and his children in the cruelest of ways without any explanations. What's changed? A month away and he's miraculously a new man? We don't know you, but we care about you, sis. We don't want you getting hurt over a man who didn't even value his own marriage and kids.

[@robbylebotha]

Sound like he might have been abused and didnt have a safe space to do all of the above. It is usally aadvised to just leave abusive people without telling them. When people start to be withdrawn or shut down, its usually because they dont feel safe to express or participacte. I hope he get a chance to tell his 'truth' as well.

[@pernellwalker8420]

Your husband just came back to his senses when he realized the real costs of leaving- child support/ alimony-he couldn’t comfortably have his cake and eat it too- continue to save yourself and move on- I couldn’t trust someone who abandoned me this way

[@Imustprosper2]

Exactly u took the words right out of my mouth

[@lisaduvalls3143]

I believe he found out the grass was not as green on the other side, be careful my dear sister. You are precious ❤

[@traceyreneerivera-fernande6876]

That part of she comes and moves to CT she will have his shirt

[@marylee19941994]

Exactly

[@apinkheel]

For real 🤬

[@blane6592]

Never ever ever let a man play with you emotions like this…I’ve been married 18 years…together for 28…the FIRST time he leaves me…WILL BE THE LAST…he could never come back. Whatever he THOUGHT he had outside…didn’t work out…so he’s falling back on you!!! It’s your decision though…I pray you free yourself! 😢

[@pernellwalker8420]

Exactly, you are so right ❤

[@NJkimomo07]

💯

[@brooklin_bernek]

You fucking called it. That grass wasn’t greener boo and he’s regretting it and if she lets him back he’ll do it each and everytime , he totally had a fall back. No questions asked

[@angellawalker4948]

Dont do it girl ❤

[@BellJ213]

Agreed. I feel like she has been too nice. The way he left was so disrespectful, I would never allow him back or even on a trip to CT. I feel like he holds all the cards and knows it. Mine knows I don't play. I say be alone or do even better.

[@lindatoliver2267]

From experience, PLEASE be very careful. Every situation is different. For him to leave his family so easily is very concerning. The one thing you said that stands out," I just want to enjoy my peace a little longer". Also don't forget both of you have two people in the middle and watching everything.... your children. Stay strong . I hope both of you find the answers you need.

[@HungoverInHighHeels]

Your husband found out that his price on the street isn't very high. My love, you are worth so much more. You are worthy of someone who wouldn't disrespect and disregard you like his least favorite pair of shoes. You are special, you are beautiful, you are enough. You deserve someone who sees you. Someone who will COMMUNICATE with you, someone who will love you. I pray for you, love.

[@katrina3560]

Your words are kind and well delivered❤

[@Donnathelady]

Amen

[@Donnathelady]

@@katrina3560agreed

[@JayDee-ut5yg]

My husband up and left and I never took him back. I said to myself firmly that he will never get a chance to up and leave me ever again so I looked forward and never looked back. He was still trying to get back with me 10 years after our divorce. He never even wanted to get a divorce but that was not up for debate. After some years the absolute love of my life found me and our relationship is night and day from my 1st husband. Keep moving forward and rely on God! 1 Cor. 7:15 If your husband abandons you that is scriptural grounds for divorce! God has called you to live in peace.

[@FleurRebelle]

I reallly love this for you! You stood firm on your boundaries and respected yourself and then you found love again

[@sallyhemings2295]

They try to come back to see if we are still STUPID 😅nope I’m good!

[@luvphoenix956]

❤absolutely 💯

[@MadebyKarenM]

Men leave and realize 1. They don’t want to cook and clean for themselves 2. The dating pool is trash and they will not find a woman like their wife 3. Living separate is hard and more expensive Praying for your strength during this roller coaster of a process

[@mrs.hopson9426]

I have no opinion because I don’t know you or your husband personally. I don’t really know yall story. But I pray for the best outcome for you both as well as y’all kids.

[@brooklin_bernek]

Just wanted to add “you know what’s right in your gut, that intial Gut feeling we push deep down “

[@sandrajintoorkar3181]

Not surprised. They always get out there and find out the other woman was not all he thought she was. They always do that and then eventually leave for good. Don't be a fool my dear. It's a tale as old as time. If you take him back...he will do this again. Count on it.

[@brooklin_bernek]

Tale as old as time. My husband leaves one time , it’ll be the last time . And he knows it - that goes for both of us. Period

[@karissatalley3752]

HUGE FACTS!!! ONCE HE WALKS OUT NEVER AND I MEAN NEVERRRRR ALLOW HIM BACK FOR NO REASON PERIOD💯💯 A REAL MAN WOULD NEVER DO SUCH FOUL AND VILE ACTIONS 🤡💯💯💯

[@lunallena2933]

💯

[@RepentImmediately]

Or.... perhaps the other woman realizes he ain't shit and sends him back home

[@shirleygresham3251]

I agree💯💯your are absolutely correct. I been in that situation and taking them back after they leave the first time it hurts even worst the second time around.

[@Sheisme120]

Never give a man a chance to reject you more than once. Remember all the hurtful insults he said about you when he abandoned you the first time. “If you leave, you stay out there.”🎤 Exactly!

[@Bubbles-fw2ps]

So he left her before?

[@Angel.Face.123]

Sis It’s normal to want your man back. You’ve shared a life together. But, the fact that you’re at PEACE now that he’s gone, says alot. Pray for clarity and protect your peace. 🩷

[@brooklin_bernek]

Girl don’t take him Back this was awful , once a man realizes you can go on without him THAT THE GRASS ISNT GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE the dog will stray back home. You’re so strong 💪🏼 you got this!

[@ucheiwuajoku1037]

Exactly, yeah

[@shecreates365]

I agree. And if she takes him back, he'll do it again

[@shirleygresham3251]

A husband shouldn't be that comfortable with leaving his family that easily and worst than that he didn't let you know he was leaving which means he was planning it for a while.

[@BoricuaHaze28]

Boom!!​@@Anti-democratChick

[@khrisi9410]

The grass wasn't greener with someone else. He tapped that and got it out of his system. Economically he can't afford to do it alone plus reality set in and he realized the new woman wanted all her bills paid and had expectations that he's too lazy to live up to. Don't give a man an opportunity to reject and destroy you twice. You giggled around the 11:38 mark as if you're excited to let him back into your life. If you take him back so easily you're teaching him he can abandon you and you'll gladly take him back. Be wise. Be careful.

[@queenrenagoddessoflovegood7757]

🎯

[@Speciall-K]

Well said! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@PhatCat-n8g]

You’ll never truly trust and relax around him again. You’ll always be in flight mode just in case he jumps ship again. Your heart and emotional health are not safe with him.

[@luvphoenix956]

absolutely true he abandoned them and wants to come back nope sorry no take backs

[@BGirl51]

Make him earn his keep. Don’t just let him come back after he’s been living his best life and it wasn’t so good. Men will run to a side dummy thinking the grass is greener and find out that grass is burnt! They have to know you’ll stand up for you and you won’t stand for it!

[@delicate1]

Nope let him live with the decision he made. No take backs.

[@karissatalley3752]

PREACHHH 🤡💯💯💯 BECAUSE IT COULDNT BE ME 🙄

[@Imustprosper2]

She will probably take him back & he will do it again, bc she was so dependent on him, when men see that u can move on without them they come running back

[@earthzone85]

He watching all these videos and using her weakness to manipulate her! I wouldn’t even want nobody that left me. She has to improve her mind and self esteem. Try to improve your diet, exercise and do relaxing things like hiking or swimming in nature and reconnect with God.

[@karissatalley3752]

RIGHT!!! LIKE THE HUSBAND LITERALLY WALKED OUT AND LEFT YOU AND YOUR KIDS AND YOU STILL WANT HIM?????? WOMEN NEED TO DO BETTER BECAUSE SHE CRYING AND SHIT BUT HE DONE HAD SOME P**** AND SHE STILL WANT HIM… CLOWN 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

[@muta_othernames]

Babe, please continue with therapy and keep yourself priority. Please don't rush into anything. Build yourself back up, and learn and unlearn wot you need so you're in a position to negotiate relationship terms that reflect your value, no matter who's asking ❤

[@FemmedelaCaraibe]

As someone who played the take back game.... they come back and are accountable for about three month and they are back to the peraon they were. After that experience i stopped taking back. If you leave, it ia done. Be careful. Hopenit it the

[@Inayahking]

This. I testify to this.

[@SB-qe1fe]

Sounds like he wanted be around to monitor what you said to your fam about him and the situation. It also sounds like he didn't receive the outcome he wanted from his attorney. Or maybe it was all just a scare tactic to get you to stop "nagging" and he thought you would fall apart, beg him to come back. Instead, he sees you're stronger and at peace, so now he has a change of heart. I don't know...but what I do know is people don't change overnight! If so, he would have done it many nights/years ago. You are wise to guard you and your girls' hearts and take it slow. I agree with the other recommendations to continue individual couseling during this period. You deserve to enjoy your peace for eternity, not just "a little bit longer" ❤

[@sagithegreat]

She definitely deserves to be at peace for eternity!! I hope this is something she gets out of her journey she's walking now!

[@xtopuzee]

She was actually nagging him which I picked up in her first video and she repeated it here. Leaving and coming back will definitely not change a thing. A pattern has been created here for both of them. Like she said, they need serious resolutions

[@ginnys9831]

He LEFT YOU AND YOUR KIDS and didn't even TELL you!🚩🚩

[@karissatalley3752]

RIGHT… WOMEN STEADY MISSING THE SIGNS AND RED FLAGS YET THEY BELIEVE HE WILL CHANGE. THEY NEVERRRRR CHANGE🤡‼️‼️ WOMEN PLEASE DO BETTER AND PUT YOURSELF FIRST PERIOD💯

[@ayana188]

This story is getting worse by the upload 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@robbylebotha]

Thats how people usually leave abusers. Just becuase people are sweet on camera doesnt mean they are. Not to say she is an abuser, I cant assume that the same way you cannot assume he's crazy and 'just left'. Do yall really think people will go on a vlog and be honest about how they are the problem lol? Men are people, men have feelings, men also need a safe space partner and if they dont, then men just like women will become withdrawn and fed up over time. Yall will only see men as humans when your sons date bad women, its only then will you ever even entertain the possibility of a woman being the cause.

[@avidyoutubewatcherr]

@@robbylebotha Well then explain to us ‘Robby’ why he would double back if he was being abused? Since you know it all. 😅

[@nikkiwoo5]

You are so pretty, and warm and sweet. These videos calm me and I have no idea why. You are doing chores, the colors, your gentle spirit and voice. Your love for your girls, just beautiful. I’m sorry for what happened. When you said in a prior video that you created these videos because some ppl don’t have a bunch of friends and family, etc…. I cried because it stirred my soul. I am you. Went through a terrible divorce and had no one to turn to or talk to. Everyone I did share with couldn’t relate, was judgey and just sicka me. They said go to therapy, I tried but something about having to pay someone to listen to me and there is no betterment just don’t sit well with me. Sis, these videos are therapeutic for not just you, for me and others. I appreciate your vulnerability. It takes hella courage to do this. I appreciate you! Happy I found your channel! ❤❤❤❤ I no longer feel as alone as I once did. Thank YOU!

[@trulyshanaj]

It feels amazing to be appreciated. It's even more amazing that I'm helping others with my testimony. Thanks for your beautiful and encouraging message💕.

[@Yonne49]

❤

[@haideeambil3938]

Also find shana very comforting to watch. We love u Shana. U know what's best for you and your family so don't let other people dictate ur beautiful heart and soul. If u choose to accept ur husband it's not other people's business. Or if u choose to continue with single mother hood journey and the divorce then that's also okay. And if u make a bad or maybe wrong decision in the end, then that's simply life. U are free to choose where u want to go. U are very smart and strong.

[@Hereigns62]

Keep in mind how easy it was for him to walk out on you guys and if there is another person in the mix. But in the end you do what you need to do to maintain your happiness.

[@b25mech]

You deserve peace. It’s priceless.

[@amyV10844]

It would be very hard to take someone back that left the home especially with children . I think my trust would be shattered permanently . From experience, I know that men promise change but it goes back to the same old routine like you said. Also , after you take them back they think they can act however they want because you are the type to take them back after bad behavior. Make him go to counseling and if he is really serious he will do that and actually problem solve about your issues . Actions, not words! I wish the very best for you and your family.

[@Nita98]

This right here

[@LolaJackson-ef5tf]

She is head over the hills, through the wilderness, on top of the the valley, in love and all shook up. She’s staying.

[@Iamchristaelaine]

Dang

[@2525besty]

Thank you I called it. JAMAICAN WOMAN she will never let him leave 😂.

[@Handmaid_of_the_Lord]

😂😂😂😂😂😂 I said that too.

[@strtrper628]

I'm not surprised he's having a change of heart. We men can be impulsive boneheads sometimes. There has to be a clear understanding between both of you. Proceed with caution. Hope things work out for both of you.

[@RepentImmediately]

Abandoning your wife and children is some pretty wild impulsiveness.

[@shiemah27]

That was the second time he left his family. Obviously it's not just impulse.

[@strtrper628]

@shiemah27 it obviously was a generalization

[@lifewithklc]

@@shiemah27waiiiit, WHAT?! The 2nd time?? Ooooh, that puts a whole different spin. At this point he’s only doing what is being allowed.

[@Firegirl9500]

I love to see marriages restored and healed, but I can’t stand to see a woman letting a man walk all over her. It makes my soul itch. If the shoe was on the other feet, would he be as gracious to her as she is to him??? Unless God touch his heart and mind. He’s gonna do it again and again. Their life, their choice. More power to them.

[@mamalola33]

Hello, I have never been married. But I will say. Your husband disrespected your marriage and vows when he left. Especially not giving you any source of communication/closure. For you to take him back, easily at that. Will lead to him being even more disrespectful than before. He’ll feel he can do what he wants, when he wants, as he pleases, all at an expense to you, your mental health and sanity….. please chose yourself and love yourself and lean onto your creator. If you do decide to take him back. Set boundaries and standards. Maybe seeking both individual and marriage counseling ❤🙏🏽

[@shecreates365]

Shana, #1 the man is suppose to love the woman more than she loves him #2 a man that truly loves a woman would never leave her. #3 the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior Just food for thought. Love your self 1st and put yourself 1st because men ALWAYS, ALWAYS will

[@FleurRebelle]

U got that right! Men are very self serving

[@jessicabullard5806]

Been married for 8 years and my husband has left and came multiple times. Once they can do it, and get away with it, theyll do it again. Really putting myself through therapy to heal and really allowing God to redeem me and fill my heart. As I can honesty say i used to take him back more because i wanted that family nucleus for our daughter, but that was doing her more harm than good. Pray, pray, pray and ask God for discernment to know if this is real or if its even Gods timing yet if it is 🙏

[@ed000]

Never let a man tells you he doesn't love you more than once;

[@apinkheel]

That part 👌

[@kenadc]

Shana I understand what you’re saying, my situation was different than yours. My husband did leave also but did some dirty s**t so now there is no talking and no getting back together. For me what he did to me and my children is not something I can go back to. Divorce was the end result in my case. It worked out better for us but I did learn a lot from that experience. I don’t know if a future relationship is in the cards for me, my peace and sanity is not a compromise. I will never allow myself to go through that EVER AGAIN. If that means I will be alone then so be it. I enjoy my own company. 💙🫶🏾🙏🏽

[@Koskos504]

I knew it!!! I couldn't imagine him looking at the amazing woman you are and walking away!!! I knew he would come around!!!!!

[@WildlyEntertaining]

Any man that can just up and leave is not a man and I hope you don't take him back. He is selfish there is another women. I bet he found out she ain't what he thought. I remember when I was young like in my 20's my son's father was cheating on me. Then he found out that she was just using him the make her real man mad. The look on his face when I found out what happened. Was all the revenge I needed. Then there was this other women I worked with husband left for his mistress. Then he found out that she was cheating on him. He felt so foolish he killed his mistress and himself. Something happened that's the ONLY reason he's "changing" his mind. Or he thinks someone better than him wants you. Not sure because it doesn't look like you're dating anybody. You are worth so much more even if it's living in peace with not knives in your back from that piece of shaut!

[@Candy_8721]

Well said ❤

[@cosmicbeauty5682]

I agree. This happened to me 3 different men that I was committed to. One man even came by job to buy condoms, knowing he had 4 other pharmacies near his home. He drove 30 min to my job to not only purchase the condoms, but to throw the chick in my face. When she embarrassed him at an event his boss was having, he came by to try to make up with me. I wasn't having it. Another guy found out the woman he was messing with behind my back and was having a kid with was no good. She was a wolf in sheep's clothing. He tried to come back and admitted regret, but no didn't take him back either. The last guy smh he did the new woman how he did me in order to be with her, and she left him only to learn she was messing around with both women and men behind HIS BACK. Even had the guy helping her move her stuff out of the home they were sharing. He tried to come back and I still wasn't having it. When it don't work elsewhere, that's when they wanna resurface with that baby I'm sorry crap. Nah either other person was no good or you was trying to teach your spouse "a lesson" and it backfired

[@NJkimomo07]

As a mother, we should ALWAYS choose peace FIRST 😉. Hang in there & you're doin great 💐.

[@chrissyd3973]

Usually when a man realizes the grass isn’t greener on the other side, they come crawling back. If he isn’t willing to go through counseling & make actual changes, then more likely things will be the same.

[@xtopuzee]

I'm not that man. Pride won't let me leave and want to come back. I'll water that grass or live with it.

[@tashajames1646]

The fact that so many of us can read in between the lines and see whats going on.....(iykyk) but peace of mind is priceless. ..... but do whats best for you the rest will work itself out!!!

[@MissTeaJay]

Sit with yourself & contemplate HOW he left, not WHY. Did he leave you & his children in a way that made you feel loved, but that things just weren't working? Did he step up for his "family" while he's been gone, or did he leave you to bear the burden of being a "single parent?" Only YOU can decide if, or when you want to allow him back in your life, heart, & home. Yeah, he's had a change of heart, but what about your heart? You matter, your girls matter & and you're both setting an example for them about men treat women. Choose wisely. I wish you the best. ❤

[@rachael4153]

Hi Shana. I’ve been married for 28 years and we’ve been through ups and downs over the years. I don’t think it’s fair to tell you to take him back or to walk away. This is truly a decision only you can make. I do agree that it would be a great idea to get some marriage counseling while you continue to move through this journey. It may not be any easy one but you will come through it stronger either way. I can image that you must feel torn and that’s absolutely okay. If your husband truly wants to make things work, he will do whatever it takes to make you feel secure, confident, and that you can trust his words are in line with his actions. It takes time. Don’t rush the process. I’m praying for you and am here if you need some support or advice.❤️

[@Secxysauce]

I've been married 24y and what I've realized is to let the small things go. We as women have to learn when to speak and what to say! Your daughters need both parents so you both need to find someone who's going to be truly honest with you and get yourselves together. Most modern women are quick to walk away if things go sour that's not the answer. You say he left but you were still in contact leaving the house so no one gets hurt is one thing but leaving your lives and not knowing where he is that's a whole different thing. There's nothing out there and remember no other man is going to treat your children the way their father is it's a lot of predators out there especially with two daughters. Go pray, find a solution and get it together.

[@brightemerald3924]

Such good advice. Approve 💯 Rachel.

[@Hitemupstyl3B]

I have been married for 30 years (this coming July) and you are so right! This is something she needs to decide on her own. Many comments saying “don’t take him back he’ll do it again and others telling her kids need both parents” I have no dog in the fight. This is definitely something she needs to go through on her own and we just be there to support her. She seems like such a beautiful person but her life is not ours to live. I wish her nothing but the best. With or without her husband, I have her back and support her ❤

[@rachael4153]

Everyone that says “don’t take him back and, if it was me I would never take him back” hasn’t been in your shoes. If you haven’t been there, you have no idea how you would react. And who said he left her for someone else?!! People jump to the worst conclusion when they have no idea of all of the facts.

[@teecharee6069]

We've all watched this journey and realistically, we know you desire to stay with your husband, so do what you feel is best. If you choose to let him back in, please protect yourself and get on your grind of making sure when he leaves again, you're better prepared and can fully stand on your own financially especially. Thank you for being open and transparent with us and trust, there's women that are or will be in your situation who may be able to gain strength from your testimony and witness. We're here with you and support you regardless ❤. You're officially my virtual lil cousin.

[@VictoriaS1318]

Never a good sign if they feel it is OK to up and leave their kids like that. And just walk away. Not a good sign of character. No matter what the situation with your spouse you don’t leave your family out of nowhere.

[@Noella-v9w]

I pray his intentions are good. Sometimes when the grass ain't greener on the other side for whatever reason people will come back . Most of the time they will leave again. I hope it's not a "It's cheaper to keep her "mentally 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏‼️

[@lisagab]

Shana, do the counseling while he is not living in the home. See how that goes before taking him back(if you choose to). Just welcome God into the process and listen to him and your heart.🫶 blessings be with you and kids❤

[@TeeBel05]

I was going to say the exact same thing. If he really wants his family back he will put in the work to do it and based on the fact he left. Him doing the work does not have to be from the same address until you guys know for sure you will stay together.

[@brightemerald3924]

Good move/advice.

[@amyV10844]

Excellent advice. Especially since she said he refuses to talk about what’s going on and basically left without saying anything. He needs to work on his communication problems before moving back. How can you have a partner that will ghost you with kids instead of talking ??

[@sunshinejohnson5416]

I am sharing my VERY HUMBLE OPINION. I BEG.........YOU. PLS LISTEN TO THIS VERY IMPORTANT ADVICE HERE????? Also from a 34yr married woman, who seemed to have felt all your pain as my own, I stress that you do all your heart conversations repeatedly with your husband and address all the hardaches you felt and are apprehensive about feeling while he is living away from you. Pray before each conversation together, and ask Father to help you do the right thing here. Note: whatever you choose is completely ok. Much love my sister ❤️ 🙏🏽

[@s.crockett5457]

Happyyyyy 87th Birthdayyyyyy to Mama!!!🎉🎉🎉 So glad that things are working out for you all the way they are (whichever way it goes).🙏🏽 God is in control and you two are the ones in the relationship. Here for you either way my lady! (Hugs)❤🤎🤍💫👐🏾

[@ayana188]

❤ I agree. It’s her marriage. It’s out of order to tell someone to leave or stay

[@Heather-nq4rv]

I hope everything works out for you and your husband! ❤ Just be careful and be wary. And I think marriage counseling would be good.

[@ashleydior5462]

This is really sad. This man is straight played in your face. I wouldn’t even be considering getting back with him at this point.

[@shana_mcd]

He’s playing with you. He may try to do this again and it will hurt even more the next time! I certainly understand you considering taking him back but def think it over and see if he’s being genuine

[@TazzyAnnJay]

I am watching and saying out loud: "GOOD FOR YOU!!!" Continue being smart and we will ride for whatever decision you make. Take your time, Sis. Trust God.

[@TashiaMac100]

So, let me just say, I applaud you for being so transparent and vulnerable in this situation. I too was in a familiar situation. Take your time on making a decision, either way. This man got up and walked away from his family without warning🚩. You' ve mentioned that there is "something" that you've been asking of him and he's not been wanting to give you. Him leaving, in my opinion, was a manipulation tactic to show you that he can just LEAVE whenever he can't have his way! Make sure that you're needs are being met, because at the end of the day, you're the one who has to pick up the pieces, for yourself and your kids. And he proved that! Also, you need to work on yourself as well. Maybe seek, anger management counseling? That worked for me, LOL! I have so much more I can say, but... SMH! Long story short, do what's best for you and your children. Protect your mental and your peace❤.

[@FleurRebelle]

This! Good advice

[@Liveinthemiddle]

Be led as to what decision you make. You exist within the confines of your relationship. We’ve only been able to form a decision based on what you’ve shared. We can have our opinions but this is your real life.

[@colametk]

Sooo what happened? “She” didn’t want to deal with him full time so he wants to go back home?

[@queenswag9137]

😅right!!!

[@FleurRebelle]

Him nor them kids

[@shecreates365]

Yep

[@anniewilkes7757]

"When the tide of life turns against you And the current upsets your boat Dont waste your tears on what might have been Just lay on your back and float"

[@Summertyme75]

When i saw your video where you were starting to love your peace and alone time (during the kids' b-day weekend), i knew then he was going to have a change of heart. I hope he's not the type that just loves to knock you down a notch and hurt you. You appear to have a good spirit, sensible, a great homemaker, great mom and so pretty! He knows you could find someone else quickly if you divorce. Family is important, so i understand why you would want to fix things. I could never advise someone to leave their marriage because those vows are between you, your spouse, and GOD. Just don't forget that as the awesome mother to his kids, you are worthy of his respect. Love yourself enough to not accept any more disrespect going forward. If he wants to leave there is a decent way to do it and the way he did it aint it. You deserve peace. All love 🩷

[@Notyouraveragefirstlady]

Shana, stay in prayer and let God lead you and your husband. If you can forgive his reason for leaving without throwing it in his face when problems arise, and you still love each other enough to want to work it out, then try and work it out. I'm praying for you both.

[@anyanabanks6276]

Dont ever think taking uim back " because of the kids" is the best or only solution you have. Onve a person has decided that " they are not happy" and they unabruptly leaving without explanation or warning. It's time to let him go and stand strong. Sometimes its bettwr to co-parent n be civil, instead of parenting and be miserable. #beentheredonethat...#Youdowhayabestforyou.....#Youwillbeok❤

[@tsg336]

Hey girl! No judgement zone here. I’m married & there are various ups and downs in marriages. The situations and challenges are different for each couple. I just want you to take your girls into consideration, they are watching and learning from you as far as their future relationship(s) years from now. We are going to continue to watch and support regardless of the decision you make. God has shown you during this time that you can make it on your own if need be. ❤

[@reallycoolintrovert]

Pray and listen for your answer. Only you can determine what is best for you and your family. Keep your decision private. Remember to protect yourself and never put your faith in a man💕

[@saeintrests]

Yes-take your time and decide. Peace is a good place to be in. I’m with you💜

[@reneecampbell867]

Whether you take him back or not, work on being able to do everything independently from him so that if does leave again voluntarily or involuntarily you will be able to take care of yourself and your children. Some of the things that you mentioned that you didn’t know how to do were very troubling. You’re smart and resilient. Even though he may take care of certain tasks, learn how to do it all and find a realistic/sustainable source of income.

[@preciousunderwood1512]

Never give a person the chance to paint the same portrait twice.

[@valinatoussaint5485]

I got goosebumps when you said ure talking, keep praying sis, therapy and counseling will take you all a long way, I'll continue to keep you in prayer, open ure heart, and put God first, ask the right questions and stand ure ground, regardless of how you feel right now, im happy for you

[@soblessed4844]

Sis, this happened to me as well, was married for 28 years when he decided he wanted to be single, after three years of separation he spins the block. Me thinking he’s a better man, opened up my heart again, just to have the cycle repeat itself not even a year later! I am completely done, and there’s actually no way l will ever give this man another chance to interrupt my healing. Do what you must, but move cautiously.

[@b25mech]

You are a very wise young woman to be able to think things through this way.

[@Siameezkattwo]

Smart! Take your time and until you feel things are right and can move forward just don't settle. Very smart and really in the end the marriage will stand the test of time if you tackle things right. I am going continue to pray for all of you ! I am really happy to hear your in a peaceful place

[@Rinablackxo]

DONT DO IT. As someone whos taken someone back it only gets worse. Sending ❤❤

[@thisnaturalgirlislocd]

The soup looks delicious! Birthday Blessings to Mama...Simply Beautiful!!! 🎉❤ Shana, I've never been in the habit of giving marriage/relationship advice because all of our experiences/feelings vary. While we appreciate you being open/vulnerable with us, I think it's important as you said to keep certain details private. I send Light, Support, and Prayers for you all regardless of what's next to come. I experienced a miracle and unexpected loss earlier this year that has devastated me, so what I can offer is Pray and talk to GOD for guidance and you will not only find the answer Best for you and your family, but also the Strength for whatever GOD has planned for you! 🙏🏽❤️

[@the.harm.in.harmony]

Well, It seems like you're going to take him back because you're co-dependent. Make sure you're ready the next time he leaves you. Get some skills, save some money and try to do things on your own while you're in that marriage. Personally, I wouldn't go back if I man walked out on me and my kids but I can tell you're gonna go back so hopefully you will be a little smarter about it this time.

[@apinkheel]

Unfortunately most women are co-dependent, which can be our downfall😩

[@candyrollins6148]

If they just up and leave you they will do it again been there done that.

[@apinkheel]

Yep, they say the man actually does not respect you or take you seriously when u take them back because they know what they can get away with and know U will just take them back anyways if they were to do it again 😩

[@LJishandsome]

Only you can make that choice. It’s all on you. All I know is… God himself would have to come sit on my couch and tell me to take him back. If you could so easily make a decision to leave your family once I can’t trust that you won’t do it again. Men are too simple to cry over and WE ARE NOT our ancestors. We don’t have to put up with a mf thang! I’d cry in peace on my pillow before I be in love all by myself. Time is a healer. 🗣️ Let it heal you! ✨📌

[@buzzinbee9463]

You are extremely intelligent, intuitive and discerning. God bless you and your family.

[@zwad3423]

They always come back, just be wise about it, all the best ❤

[@yvonnegould9079]

Shana, Gods is in control. Pray for your strength and health. Don’t rush into anything. Continue to put you and your children first.🙏🏾🇬🇧

[@rachelferne]

You being at peace without him is the only answer you need. It really sounds like your life is hellish when he is in it, so do what's right for you and co-parent if that's what it comes to.

[@jenniferburton1395]

Just guard your heart and your babies in whatever decision you make! I hope the best for you and your family ❤

[@dinomauss1157]

Woman you are so precious. So so precious. A pure gem. Don’t forget you want him to give something so bad that even if tossed you a crumb at this point you will be ever so grateful. You are precious like I said. I know women like you. Hold your ground. Keep the boundaries. And if living separately and doing full blown family life helps, the fact that end of every day you go away and remember what you have without feeling like it is all yours no matter what. Neither of you will start to slack, and neither will get too comfortable and forget the momentum of progress needed.

[@mightystrong5484]

Omgosh Shana ♥️ I'm praying that GOD gives you the answers you desire, but I'm ALWAYS praying for the greater good of a marriage and family. ESPECIALLY if GOD has healed you both 🙏🏼 I'm rooting for you both ❤️ ijmn

[@mightystrong5484]

Accountability and counseling are a beautiful thing 😍 ❤️

[@emoo2342]

I hope that whatever you choose proves healthy and pleasant for you and your girls.

[@nadinewalker9375]

You said “IT SEEMS” your husband has been this and that. I will say the decision is your decision to make, but done “ASSUME”, he’s having a change of heart without him actually expressing it verbally! He’s going to always be the girls dad, but he doesn’t always have to your husband. For a grown man to walk away from you as his wife and his daughters without having and adult conversation with his wife of 11 years, that’s a BIG RED FLAG. And baby red flags never ever turn green. That your time with this important decision!!

[@apinkheel]

Some people see red flags and think they at Six Flags, no Bueno 😮

[@JRae1]

Whatever you decide to do is your business, no judgment. I've never been married so I can't say whether you should take him back or not. My only advice is to learn from this. Watch your back & be your own advocate. If you don't already have one, stack you some money in a separate account just in case. Those that we trust most can flake out on us at any given time, so don't put all your eggs into a basket that has proven to be shaky. May God bless you & your union if it is meant to be 💕

[@Sandra-p1g]

. If. He. Could. Leave. So. Easily😮😮😮. He. Will. Leave. Again. Ijs 😮. He. Showed. U. How. Much😮 . U. And. The. Kids. Meant❤. To. Him. Think❤❤. Before. U. Make. That. Move ❤❤❤❤

[@kdevonraine]

I agree, he had a reason for saying that he was going to leave. I suggest you protect yourself cause if he did it once, he will do it again. I'm all for marriage and staying together, but yo-yo relationships back and forth, doesn't work for me. Also, people that love you, don't leave. They stay and work it out cause that's what your vows say to do. Take your time.

[@meekshouse21]

It’s ok to take your husband back if that is what YOU WANT. Don’t let anyone, including family tell you different. And then there is needs to be some serious changes on both sides. ❤❤❤ Praying for healing for all and that you get out of it what you want that is best for you and your family. I would say date again before you let him back in. It is important to get an understanding of what went wrong and how you can fix it. He has to understand that running and causing unnecessary stress on you and the girls is not the business. You got this sis🥰🥰

[@trulyshanaj]

Great advice. Thank you💕.

[@tashamac623]

Exactly! People can speak their opinion, but you have to do what you feel cause you have your own life and they have theirs! I’m going through the same thing, but my husband is still here. We are just working through our problems.

[@homemadeeasy9418]

@@trulyshanaj THIS is one of the very few comments you decide to ❤and respond to? You are searching for confirmation at this point to take that abandoner back. I wish more BW had no chill, I wish more BW were ruthless, I wish more BW wouldn’t allow themselves to be thrown away and picked back up at their own expense :(

[@beautyinthedark7406]

Don’t fall for his fake remorse. If he cared he never ever would’ve left. Just listening to you I can tell you’re more invested in the marriage than he was. Whomever he left you for the situation didn’t turn out the way he expected and now he’s back. Wishing you and the kids well❤

[@MonetAllDay]

Of course he wants to come back, look at you! You’re shining in your independence. Take your time! If he can’t wait for you to figure out where you want to be in this life, then that tells you everything you need to know. You need this time to figure yourself out, see all that you’re capable of, and reassess the boundaries you set in your romantic relationships, no matter who the other person ends up being. No one can really tell you what to do, but your gut instincts will guide you. That’s what they’re for. And you might still make mistakes, don’t pressure yourself so much to do things flawlessly. We can’t escape judgement from others. But at the end of the day you’re the one who has to live your life, the solution has to fit your personal needs and desires. You’re doing a great job. You’re a great mom. And you’re strong, beautiful and kind. Life will reward you in many ways. Above all else, KEEP SEEKING YOUR PEACE! It’s invaluable. Never let it go.

[@mariedames3240]

You will go through it again why he want to come back??? He's playing you. Make sure he get tested for all the STD. 😢 .

[@Naturallyliz41]

Hello, I don’t know you personally but I had a feeling from the first video this would happen. I would never tell you not to take your husband back but I will say from personal experience if you take him back this will happen again and again. It took me a few decades to understand that. Each time I took my ex husband back it took away a piece of my soul. With the help of God and therapy I was finally able to let go. Stay strong. God is with you and your children. 💜

[@Kendallslovejoy]

Girl nooooooooo……. He leaves u whenever he wants to. Do not give him that energy. Now it’s about privacy and protecting the integrity. U protecting him and blaming yourself because you know you want him back. He has left u before. I’m gone shut up. I feel like an older sister trying to have baby sister’s back.

[@shirleygresham3251]

Agree💯💯

[@FleurRebelle]

Some lessons are best learned the hard way.. she still has the fantasy of keeping the family together, poor thing.

[@sg5720]

The economy is making him want to come back 😐

[@staceetownsend3947]

I applaud you being so open about the struggles you and your husband are having. The judgement/opinions of others can be hard to digest. I'm a new follower to your channel, but you seem like very beautiful and caring soul. Only you and your family can determine what's best. Just know that whatever you decide you'll be a stronger for it. Take as much time as you need to figure out what you want. Wishing you and your children the very best!

[@jennclove]

You have to do what's best for you and your children. This is a judgement free zone! Marriage is work and as long as you both are willing to put the work in, it will all work out. Whether you take him back or not, that's you decision. Marriage takes more than love to make it work.

[@AGardenCalledHome]

I mean this in the most respectful and loving way I can. I’m not married, I am not a mother. I was raised by a single nurse and her gaggle of crazy friends.. I look at you like one of my aunties, and it’s like you have a beautiful door into this new chapter of life.. I wish you’d left sooner but I know you needed to be where you’re at now to understand how untold your story is. We love you!!

[@nickysunshine8734]

Awww it was nice seeing your ride to Connecticut. I was born and raised in CT. Just moved my entire family last year to South Florida. It was nice to see…but Mi nuh miss it at all 😂. Too rass cold! Wishing you and Hubby all the best. Seek counseling ❤Big Up🇯🇲

[@nikkiwoo5]

South Florida, I am in SF also. Do you love it? I sure do. I relocated from Philly. Don’t miss it either! lol!

[@nickysunshine8734]

Girllllllll….When I say I’m in love with this weather! 🌴🌺🌊☀️….Everyday is Summer! My husband and children and I can enjoy the outdoors everyday if we choose to. I love it! I don’t complain about the heat…we can take extra showers if we need to, and everywhere has central air to keep you comfortable ❤

[@nikkiwoo5]

@@nickysunshine8734 YAAASSSSSSSSS SAME!!!!!! Im out here baskin in the sun now!!!! It’s the best ever!!!! No more ice, snow, black ice, salt, back breaking shoveling..and the worse is when you be real cute and slip and fall on the ice and snow. Ohhhh! Last time that happened to me, I told my Husband and Sons after they had to peel me up out the snow and ice, “In the illustrious words of what I think Harriet Tubman woulda said when she was freeing slaves, WE OUT!” 🤣Yes Ma’am! Husband and kids hate the heat. Oh well! straight PARADISE!!!!! YAYYYY! Enjoy Sis!!!! 🩷🩷🩷

[@nickysunshine8734]

@@nikkiwoo5 you had me cracking up 😂😂😂😂. All the best to you and your family too. Cheers to No snow & New Beginnings ❤️🥂

[@whitneylawrence1337]

Why do we as women put up with things men would NEVER put up with. You see how easily he left you and your children? That men doesn’t deserve a another chance. And I bet there were plenty of red flags before this.

[@NaturallyLluvme]

As I mention in your other video, they inevitably return. You know what's best for you and your babies. Pray and journal. I hope the best for you and that The Most High will order your steps.. You seem like an amazing human being in general, mom, and wife.

[@truthoverfictionii5760]

Let me guess, he wants to come back home. I haven't watched the video yet, but when I saw the title. And I had already guessed it last week. I said to myself, I wonder what you are going to do when he decides that he wants to come back, because they usually do? Do what you want? None of us is in your relationship.

[@Loveamandapatrice]

May God continue to order your steps with dignity, self respect, self love, self worth, and empowerment. Only YOU know what that looks like for you. You have my support

[@Angel.Face.123]

🎯

[@Sandra-p1g]

Ain't 👹. No. Way. I'd. Take. Him. Back. Just. Like. He. Left. That. E .z. . He. Will. Do It. Again. And. Expect. U. To. Take. Him. Back . For. What. Ever. The. Reason. He. Thought. It. Was. Gonna. Be. Better. It's. Not. 😮. But. It's. Yo. Life. Good. Luck 😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮❤

[@karenhicks247]

Hi Shana. Keep God First, Follow your heart. No marriage is perfect get counseling, communicaton is the key. God Bless You and your Family 🥰