My Infertility Story

[@CarolineHirons]

And what a dream family you have now. Love you. You speak about it all so eloquently, especially the miscarriage part. Resonates with all of us that have been there. ♥️

[@lilypebbles]

Incredible video Ruth. You speak to beautifully and I’m sure this will be so helpful to so many people xx

[@RuthCrilly]

Thank you Lily x

[@jenniferestrada4934]

It's helped me keep hope. I've been trying for 7 years too. But still unsuccessful and you are totally spot on Ruth its discouraging.

[@gilliansteele2709]

Thank you Ruth. I’m in the midst of it, it’s excruciating but nice to know I’m not alone x

[@Lolee56]

I’m confused, why did she skip iui to ivf?

[@laughsmilegiggleXD]

You look fabulous in glasses!

[@catherinevc]

Glad someone else said it! I'm obsessed with these pink ones and they suit you so well! where are they from?

[@ElishaLilie]

catherinevc I have a feeling these are the same as my glasses. They’re Nicole Farhi ones from Specsavers, they’re beautiful!

[@sian3475]

Manal A.

[@Jugscat]

Vitamin D helped me stay pregnant. It's SO important to get your levels checked if you're struggling. I kept misscarrying then had the test and wow I was so difficient. 3 months after taking it I was normal, stayed pregnant and had my daughter. Glad you spoke of this. I tell anyone I can about vit D.

[@mehwishowais3004]

I remember i saw pixiwoo nic’s pregnancy announcement video and bawling...i was soooo happy for her and so sad for me and she had a similar story...and it gave me hope...and i conceived a few months later!

[@alanad5577]

Hi Ruth thank you for sharing your story! I haven't had struggles with infertility but I had 3 miscarriages last year and it was so scary and heart breaking. After many tests to find out why I was miscarrying they found nothing wrong and now I'm 14 weeks pregnant and everything seems to be going well xx

[@RuthCrilly]

Oh that's incredible news, I'm so happy for you! x

[@yeyatatiana2076]

Your story gives me faith! I lost 3 pregnancies in total so far. Nothing wrong with either of us...i just turned 42.... so I'm hoping I get one sooner rather than later !!

[@DoctorAnne]

I had a miscarriage after trying for several years as well, and I remember I felt like it was a cruel joke on me, teasing me with getting pregnant finally and then having it taken away again. Now I have two kids, both conceived naturally, and I feel blessed every day to have them in my life. Yes, even at 3 am in the morning, but probably not as blessed as I would feel if they were sleeping.

[@becbec3541]

Hi Ruth, I don’t usually comment on videos etc but I felt compelled to leave a note to you. I can’t thank you enough for uploading this video and the timing couldn’t have been more profound. When I got the notification I was literally sitting on my bed in floods of tears due to lots of things including my own infertility journey but the trigger was the news that a close friend of mine had her baby last night. I’m so happy for her but it hurts so badly and I just needed to let everything out. I was in desperate need of reassurance and then your video popped up! I am trying hard to keep my spirits up and to do practical things to help (including acupuncture) so hopefully we will have some good news of our own soon. Thanks again xxx

[@FelineRM]

i dont usually read the comments of videos i watch, but for some reason i started reading yours and it really got to me. i hope you are allright and you will get your good news soon xxx

[@Gracielooks]

I hope you will feel better soon and feel strong enough to enjoy your friend’s baby. Have you read any of Leandra Medine’s (manpeller) posts on fertility and miscarriage? They are raw and powerful and may (or may not! ) help you feel less alone. The comments too. Go gently x

[@wildflowers100]

I don’t usually read the comments in videos either, but your really touched me. I’m in tears. It must be very difficult. I hope you get good news soon. Take good care. ✌🏼

[@RuthCrilly]

It is so, so difficult. And you feel like a bad person because it's hard to be happy. I know. Sending you love xx

[@sarahamir434]

Just a quick one to say that it's OK to react like that to news of other people getting pregnant/having babies. It doesn't make you a bad person. You have to let yourself feel what you feel x

[@lizzclare]

After having cervical cancer and being diagnosed with poly cystic ovaries they told me and my ‘then’ husband I was infertile. We had lots of tests very upsetting times and eventually had our two daughters now 18 and 20 years old with fertility treatment. I really think those years broke us. It was all my fault he could have done better with someone else ect ect. We lasted another two years if that. 16 years later after and trying to get pregnant with my second love of my life we eventually had our boy who is now 2 and we are weeks away from another baby. I’m now 44. It took us 14 years but no fertility treatment I started looking aftermyself. Bought ovulation strips and realised my cycle was 38 days and I ovulated on day 7. I agree I think I also was trying on the wrong days. But having hope, looking after yourself, reducing stress, drinking less all helped me

[@janfranklin2114]

Oh Ruth , you are so brave to share this. My daughter is going through this now and my other daughter is pregnant . It is so hard to be over the moon for one and utterly broken hearted for the other. Total health is the key I know it!

[@_JoyceArt]

I’m still so very happy for you that you did end up having your beautiful babies. My ex and I tried for many years, including a couple of IVF tries. After the last failed attempt, I decided it was time to let it go. And I’m now at a point where I’m at peace with not having my own children. Not just because my relationship stranded, but also because the stress and disappointment month after month, including a miscarriage, was becoming too much. Can’t say I’m happy about it, but I do enjoy the absolute freedom I now have.

[@alicewilson4274]

Infertility is one of the sadest and loneliness things I have been through. I think only people that under that void and feeling are those that have been through it. I was already a subscriber when you fell pregnant and I even remember the hint of sadness inside of me, as we were through 4 pregnancy losses by then and years of trying. But a hint of hope too. I learned few weeks before that video came up that I suffer from Leiden Gene mutation that caused the losses and my gyno decided to treat me with metformin as i could not use hormonal treatment to get pregant due to the gene. I fell pregnant quickly once I had that with improved diet. I was few months behind your pregnancy and following your journey make it easier. I was so scared that I would loose it again I dreaded every ultrasound scan, and gosh I had many 15+ each pregnancy, millions of blood tests and daily blood thinner injections. But actually apart from the careful approach from the medical staff it was fairly uneventful pregnancy (both of them).... Six months after Angelica was born my son came along and 16 months later we had another 😊 I think the one question I would have would be for Mr.AMR. How did he find it, how did he feel? Was it hardest to watch you in pain? Thank you for making this video....

[@Courtney6]

"Yeah right, no one ovulates on day 8. Shut up". I love you Ruth. I'm so glad your journey has led to your two beautiful children.

[@gailstephenson5400]

This was perfect; informative but sensitive.

[@michellezevenaar]

So relatable! I desided I didn't want to do treatment and ivf, I had seen what that was like for good friends and I didn't want that stress. After years of just living life with my husband assuming we just would have kids I naturally got pregnant. I have 3 things that i think it might have been. I had a massage and we were talking about if I had children so I told her nope fertility problems so she also did some type of special foot massage for a few minutes. And I had just been on an antibiotic treatment. And the day I think we consived we had a flight, going on vacation. I don't know how I got lucky but I think it had to do with these 3 things. At the moment I'm 38 weeks and really feeling ready to pop! I'm hoping little one will come next week Monday, it would be fantastic for the little one to share a birthday with my grandfather.

[@suzanneb2994]

I know how it feels to recall every single detail of the most tormenting journey of your life. And yes the journey highlighted a significant thing which is depression that accompanies an infertile couple in the journey. WHich literally makes it unbearable. You said right, saying hope reraaly doesn't encourage any depressed woman. Constant disappoint doesn't do good to health as well as to a mind. It reminded of my journey and the struggles that were utterly horrendous. I felt you hun!!

[@KathySeastron]

I got pregnant with my first straight away and my second took a soul destroying 4 years. My question is a slightly different angle - do you feel like you’ve recovered from it? I still feel a twinge when people get pregnant so easily, it feels so unfair. I think it’s amazing you shared your story, it’s not spoken about enough x

[@Gresaaa]

Great video and also I appreciate you debunking the horrific myth that you can get pregnant at any point in your cycle which is absolute BS. What a wonderful story! Also a note to some people out there that you can actually ovulate early so the tests can be super useful, and if you're not trying for a baby then it’s useful for general tracking of your cycle! Your cycle says so much about your health in general and can actually show signs of underlining problems

[@dogberryandmoth]

Such an honest, open video. I'm so pleased that your baby dreams came true eventually. I was lucky to be able to conceive my two children easily in my late 30s, but I have friends who have struggled with conceiving and maintaining pregnancies and know the heartbreak they have endured. I hope other women in that situation can benefit from your experiences.

[@Rubywhite922]

Its so consuming isn’t it? I used to think, if I could just know that I will eventually have a baby, I could get on with life, but the not knowing is the worst! I got my miracle after 4 years though 💕

[@jessicat9198]

I got pregnant the month after I read the Gerad Kite book "The art of baby making". He's also an acupuncturist who specialises in fertility and I loved his book and how he laid everything out.

[@SoSallyo]

I never would have thought you struggled with infertility because you have two so close together. I too struggled but haven’t taken the time to film my video yet but it’s definitely something important I want to do to try and help others. Thank you so much for putting your story out there x

[@katrinakhan7747]

Great video Ruth , you were a great source of comfort to me through my own fertility issues. Thought I would share my story incase someone is reading through the comments and going through similar problems and are feeling hopeless. My son took 6 years with 2 miscarriages and failed ivf and he was conceived naturally 3 months after the failed ivf (best shock of my life!). And now I am pregnant with no.2 first time trying....totally baffling! I think some couples naturally take longer and in my case I believe stress was also a big contributing factor- I conceived when I gave up ttc thereby relaxing my body. Worth a shot ! Anyone reading this and feeling defeated by infertility- there may yet be light at the end of the tunnel , have faith !

[@LabNYorkie]

I chose not to have children because my pain medication is an anti seizure drug known to cause birth defects. It's not what I expected or wanted but, it's my life. I know the pain it caused me and at times still causes me to not have children. I can only imagine what couples dealing with infertility must feel, the strain on the relationship, strain on friendships. I hope that women hearing your story will help them. I wish them strength and that they have a family - be it in the more traditional sense, via surrogacy, via foster care, via adoption. I'm terribly, terribly sorry for the miscarriage and what sounds to be the crap people who should've shown compassion. I couldn't care less how busy they were. How much energy does it take show some kindness? Thank you for sharing this story and all you've shared. You, Mr. AMR, Angelica, Ted, Mr. Bear and Dexter make a wonderful family.

[@Laelin123]

LabNYorkie you are so kind and considerate! Well done you!

[@LabNYorkie]

Laelin123 Thank you. 😊

[@racheybaby86]

This is such an honest, generous and beautiful video Ruth. I think anyone who has any struggles with pregnancy loss or infertility will hear something they can relate to. Although most people mean well, it's incredible the amount of thoughtless things that people can say ("At least you know you can get pregnant" is such a classic!) in what I feel is often an attempt to skim over their discomfort rather than to empathise with yours. It's so helpful to hear or speak with other people who have gone through similar and I think you will help comfort a lot of people by making this video xx

[@carlywelsh7919]

Thanks for sharing your story Ruth, I’m sure it will help many people. I have struggled with unexplained infertility too, have been trying for almost 9 years with one failed ivf. When I did my ivf I was very unhealthy, overweight, stressed out and drinking wine every night to get me through the stress, not surprising it failed. Then got healthy, lost weight, started exercising and stopped drinking and fell pregnant. Unfortunately it was an ectopic and I lost the baby and a tube, so only half he chance of conceiving naturally now but am still hopeful. I’m 39 this year so will try ivf again in summer if no joy naturally. Much love to you and to everyone trying to become mums, it’s such a hard thing to go through and puts such strain on your relationship. Xx

[@stefaniemedina14]

I appreciate how open you are about admitting things you have done wrong and what you learned from it. This is definitely a needed topic, I know many people who are struggling with this. I actually have the opposite problem: we get pregnant very easy but I cannot carry babies full term. All of our babies were delivered very premature.

[@giam9871]

Also had a miscarriage, I was 28 at the time, did not really take care of myself until then, always dieting, I was about 55 kg and 1,69 m when I got pregnant and miscarried and had a D&C, after that horrible experience I got very depressed, lost some more weight, but after that something clicked and I started to enjoy food again, I got to about 58 kg and after 3 periods I got pregnant again, and had my baby boy. The pregnancy with him was not an easy one, the whole pregnancy I had contractions, and had to be medicated to keep them in control, so maybe my body was not ready yet to be pregnant... a lot of women force their bodies to be lean by dieting, sometimes a little bit of extra weight might do wonders for improving the chances of getting and staying pregnant. Thank you for sharing your story ! Lots of love from Romania❤️

[@karinw8382]

I’m going through the exact same thing at the moment and mostly try to avoid watching things about infertility as to not get too obsessed.. But found this really helpful actually. I think the paradox is that it takes a lot of planning to get pregnant, but I avoid overly planning as to stay sane!? Very confusing, would love a checklist! Thank you so much for sharing

[@RuthCrilly]

I know. And also "relax and don't think about it and it'll just happen!" Grrrr

[@sarahcaplan8350]

Ruth Crilly relax I hate that. No amount of relaxing will make my eggs release xxx

[@clarewalsh3601]

Love you Ruth- your always so open. From a fello fertility challenged follower x

[@sliwka0781]

Very, very touching. Thank you for sharing your story, Ruth!

[@StephyLocas]

You hit the nail on the head with your miscarriage experience. It’s such a taboo subject. I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks, I’m a midwife and I can’t even tell you how many people at work (on the labour ward!) said to me ‘at least you can get pregnant’...people’s awkwardness and misunderstanding because they haven’t experienced it can produce the most awful reaction. So happy you got your lovely babies. I’m 38 weeks pregnant with my first now. Thank you for sharing your story and shedding light on this subject xx

[@kittybubbles85]

Really great video Ruth. To get pregnant I found the book ' Taking charge of your fertility' really useful. I tracked my temperature for several months before we started trying to try and work out when I was ovulating and I pretty much completely gave up alcohol as soon as we started trying. Thankfully we didn't wait long, hope this might help someone else

[@Bunnychowchow]

Thank you for sharing! this was so helpful! On the sly... where are your glasses from they're fabulous xx

[@sophielove5860]

This is such a personal story and it is so amazing that you share this with us as I assume it helps many women who go/went through a similar time! Your children are so sweet and I am so happy that everything worked out for you and Mr amr in the end 💕💕💕

[@mlaine2]

Understand completely. I had 5 miscarriages in total. Unexplained. But now at 45 I have two miracles, one just turned 4 months. God bless to all trying. DO NOT LOSE HOPE. Have courage and faith. Love your glasses! What are they! I need new ones!

[@natiephemeral]

Ruth!exactly the same happened to me!years and years......and my husband and me start to eat more healthy and do gym, zumba, and take some vitamins......and two months later when I saw 2 lines in the pregnancy test I just couldn’t believe it!best day of my life!like you, I have my first boy at 33, then I lost a pegnancy at 7 weeks, it was devastating.....and a year after we tried one time and baby two was on the way, at 36 years old. Thanks to share your story!kisses

[@nataliemorris1724]

I have to say, I’m having lots of issues with fertility and we are having IVF (30% ish chance). I’m 30 next month and struggle so much with seeing babies, adverts for babies etc! I’m so sick of having things shoved up me and knowing that my body can’t do what it was meant to do! KZbin is usually my escape but lots of are beginning to show their pregnancy stories etc. I just feel awful but I can’t handle it! I’ve chosen to watch your video (saw the link on Instagram) and I have to say o finally feel like someone else understands how I feel! I’m so pleased for you and your husband and I take comfort from your story. Thank you xx

[@katemakeuplooks]

I love you, Ruth, because you describe things in such an ordinary matter-of-fact way and have a dry sense of humour. This is a great video. One mistake I made when trying to conceive (I believe it’s called ttc on social media) was taking ibuprofen around the time of ovulation. I suffer from ovulation pains, which is obviously a great indicator of when I am most fertile, and took ibuprofen throughout this time to ease the terrible backache. However, apparently ibuprofen causes the “blister” holding the egg on the surface of the ovary to not burst, which means that the egg is not released into the fallopian tube. No-one had ever told me this, it’s not common knowledge (as far as I’m aware) and luckily I just discovered it by chance when researching ovulation. Also luckily, I discovered this just 3 months into my ttc journey. I stopped taking all forms of ibuprofen immediately and got pregnant on my next cycle. My daughter is now 6. I must put a huge disclaimer in here that I don’t remember where the information came from and it could be completely by chance that I got pregnant then. However, I think Ruth’s general advice is very good. Look after yourself, eat lots of fresh fruits and veg, get out into the fresh air. All the very best to everyone xxx

[@KasiaZ]

It is absolutely delightful to hear you speak so beautifully. It is a delicate matter and I am so happy you finally got your beautiful baby and then another one! Well worth the wait. I had a miscarriage as well and I knew in the back of my head it could still happen (I was around 14 weeks) and I had to go to hospital to remove whatever was left there and that hospital visit traumatized me really well to the point I do not want another child (mine is 2,5 - 3 in September). p,s, you look exceptionally beautiful in the video - this makeup and glasses looks amazing!

[@kerstinr8940]

Thank you for your very honest and open story! I did not have problems having my kids, but „failed“ breastfeeding them. It was a struggle but I simply understood that I did not fail. It is not failure when you have struggles with whatever, it is just life and what happens.

[@princess3165]

Thanks for sharing Ruth. Although I've never suffered from infertility I have had a miscarriage and I believe it's very true what you said that the help and support isn't available. It's a very difficult time and I just wish that they showed more compassion to ladies when we suffer this loss. xx

[@meezee7179]

I'm experiencing precisely the same right now and for the most part attempt to abstain from watching things about barrenness as to not get excessively fixated.. Be that as it may, discovered this extremely supportive really. I think the conundrum is that it takes a ton of wanting to get pregnant, yet I evade excessively arranging as to remain normal!? Exceptionally befuddling, would love an agenda! Much thanks to you such a great amount for sharing.

[@SiSaMej]

you look like Michelle Pfeiffer from Batman here 😊

[@lozcherie4329]

I was trying to get pregnant a few months before my 21st birthday and i thought "oh yeah I'm healthy it won't take long ,i was definitely wrong i finally fell pregnant early last year in February but miscarried at 7 weeks which i was a absolute mess until i told my doctor they need to do something to help me conceive or i need to get fertility treatment , well finally had my appointment in March of this year with a specialist got labelled as infertile and got told i would need clomid or ivf to conceive cause i got diagnosed with pcos aswell , 2.5 weeks after that appointment i took a test because i thought i was late came up positive straight away and I'm now 16 and a half weeks with my first child at 25 after 4 years of trying .

[@starshinefamily9159]

I love your honesty. I've just uploaded my Infertility Journey... all 9 years, 8 months and 10 days of it!! I'm blessed to have come out the other side with 2 fabulous children. It really saddens me to think that other people are going through it right now :(

[@ammyalen7633]

Thank you for sharing your story. Felt every single word. You Spoke such effortlessly. Hope this could make people realize how much tough times we infertile person use to have, Each person here is absolutely right. You have such a dream family, I adore this. I could never imagine sharing my life such gracefully as you did. You are beautiful. May, you have a beautiful life.

[@Ambient_dreamer]

I have to say, my other half and I are like you, in your early days... just ‘not using anything’ but after years of this I’ve never conceived once. You’re so right, my health isn’t good at all and really have a super long cycle (42 days) a little lightbulb in my mind totally clicked... Thanks Ruth x

[@RuthCrilly]

xxx

[@Ambient_dreamer]

Georgie K wow that’s so interesting that you conceived so late in your cycle! I think I will have to monitor it a little more closely. I rarely meet or talk to anyone who has a longer cycle than what is considered “normal” Thank you for sharing your advice!

[@DosyRosie169]

Thank you so so much for sharing this, for being brave, for being honest. I'm so sorry to hear that you had some bad experiences during your NHS care. I'm a student midwife, and have definitely noticed (from conversations with women who've experienced miscarriage in previous pregnancies) that the care provided for earlier miscarriages is often lacking hugely. At my hospital trust and many others, we have specialist bereavement midwives who support families going through late-term miscarriage and stillbirths, but I understand why women going through earlier losses feel like they're being churned through the system, not really supported. I'm of the opinion that any loss has the potential to be heartbreaking for a couple, so definitely think better support should be offered and training given to all staff who care for couples going through infertility and/or loss. I'm very thankful for people like you, sharing videos like this. Not only to let others going through it know that they're not alone, but also to educate - the general public, and people like me, who want to be in a good place to provide the best possible care, with empathy and compassion. Thank you!

[@061356]

Many years ago you said in one of your videos, “we can’t always have what we want”! You were not talking about anything related to being a Mommy. But, I knew what you were talking about. I am a Nana to three grandchildren these glorious days. But, women who have dreams of babies know what those comments mean. Bless you and your lovely family. So happy for you! Long Long time follower, Janice

[@gabriellerose3609]

Thank you for this video! It was really amazing to hear a woman talk so openly and freely about these parts of our lives.

[@sarahatkinson503]

Thank you so much for sharing your story!! Not enough people talk about this soul crushing topic. I've just experienced my 3rd miscarriage (at 11 weeks also) and was told to pursue IVF. After all the diagnostic tests there is nothing physically wrong with me to prevent a successful pregnancy. So, like you, I'm doing acupuncture, taking supplements/vitamins and eating super healthy. I'm staying hopeful that medical intervention won't be necessary to make a beautiful healthy baby in the future. Peace & love!!

[@jill5881]

Hi Ruth, I can relate to many parts of this story. I am now 20 weeks pregnant with my first. I think a good piece of advice to those trying to conceive is to not be a slave to your fertility apps. Easier said than done, I know! I often think I was letting the apps and OV strip tests determine everything, instead of listening to my body. So, like you, for years I was probably missing the window. I found an amazing acupuncturist who also helped me realise I needed to take better care of myself. As a result, I found a much better connection with my body and a few months later, 8 days before our mock IVF transfer was due to take place, I found out I was pregnant. Thank you for sharing your story - you will be helping many, many people xx

[@JadeGiggles]

Please do another vídeo Ruth! My husband and I have been trying for 3 years but my infertility and gynaecology has been under investigation for 10 years. You’ve made me feel that I’m not alone. Look forward to seeing what else you share. Thank you x

[@w33burd]

Thanks for sharing, Ruth. I now have two beautiful girls (13 & 11), however we went through our own fertility issues when trying to conceive #1. As a society we just don't talk about infertility enough, so thank you for being so open and honest. On a positive note, my fertility issues brought me together with an amazing group of women across the world who were going through similar issues at the same time as me- some of us are now parents, some are still trying, some have reached a point of accepting they will never be parents. Sixteen years on, these women are some of my closest friends, and we try to snatch meet-ups wherever we can. They are my tribe! To anyone currently experiencing issues ttc, I cannot recommend enough finding yourself a decent support group or forum - it is a difficult/ stressful/ lonely/ exhausting/ draining/ frustrating journey as it is, so it's great to have others to help pull the wagon and you can do the same for them in return. xxx

[@Redeemed-10]

Where are your glasses from Ruth? They are beautiful.

[@ilovemrjames]

I can’t even imagine how difficult that time must have been for you, it’s so good that you’ve made a video talking about, I’m sure it will help so many people that are struggling with this, but also even not struggling with infertility I found this so good to watch just becuAuse it is something that is never talked about, weirdly it seems like a taboo subject because it’s so uncumfortable for people to talk about and it really shouldn’t be. People shouldn’t have to feel so alone going through something like this just makes it worse. And I’m so glad for you that you were able to have 2 beautiful babies in the end xxxx

[@louisematlock2491]

Wonderful video Ruth. I'm so glad this worked out for you. Brought back lots of memories for me. I had a miscarriage and IVF but we have a wonderful 11 year old daughter now. I'm sure your experience will be hugely helpful to couples going through the same thing

[@elinat.8841]

Thank you for sharing your story Ruth. I've been there too. Had been together with my husband for 7 years when I got pregnant. We decided to get married almost as soon as we found out and then I lost the baby at 12 weeks. We still went ahead with the wedding though. I got pregnant again after 8 months and lost it again. I got depressed and just didn't want to try again. Couldn't be happy for other women who were expecting just like you. Terible stage of my life... Had all sorts of tests done and nothing seemed to be wrong. Just when I was about to have another series of tests, I managed to get pregnant. 4 years since my last miscarriage, 2 years of continuous trying, 12 years after I had met my husband. I became a mum at 37 to a lovely boy who weighed 9 lbs! :) Sometimes I wish I had tried earlier but you never know what is in store for you. I would like to have another one but turning 40 this year worries me a bit... Good luck to all of you trying, worrying, feeling down, wanting a baby so much. I hope you are blessed with the ultimate joy soon.

[@sarah_hedges_creates]

This was such a lovely video Ruth, and will be so helpful to so many people. I had a miscarriage in 2013 and it was the worst feeling ever and something I don't think ever leaves you, you are also right in that there is not much information out there about miscarriage particularly when you go to hospital and no one really talks about it when it happens and it does happen more frequently than you think. I think it's important to talk about these struggles as it makes people feel less alone in their journey. I had a rainbow baby in 2014 a little girl :-) x

[@annataylor4421]

Thank you for this video, Ruth. And yes, please please do another video with things that were so easily overlooked. I have to say, my other half and I are like you, in your early days. I know stuff like this can be very personal but am happy you shared. And I am very happy that everything turned out for you. There are things that can only be seen clearly in hindsight and maybe your perspective will help others.this is the simplest way anyone could ever explain. Love you loads.

[@nvdp4269]

I don't comment often but I'm a long time reader of AMR and the Uphill. I haven't tried to get pregnant yet so no experience there. However I just wanted to thank you for your honesty. It's beautiful. And I cannot even imagine how hard it has been. Thanks for sharing and I love your glasses, they look so good on you!😍

[@ceciliaoskarssonhilldor2689]

Amazing video Ruth! Thank you for sharing! I got pregnant on my honeymoon after trying for almost three years. There is nothing ”wrong” with either of us, but it just became an obsession for me, to the point that it was all I could think about. But as I had the wedding to plan, and the weddingday came up we just forgot about babies for a while. I think that helped a lot, to calm down and than it just happened! Both Angelica and Ted seem amazing, I love watching your videos. Hugs from Sweden! 💓

[@linettelow]

Bless you, Ruth ♡ I shed tears whilst watching this video, and I totally empathise with the struggles of infertility. I had lost my period for what seemed aeons; been to countless endocrinologists, ultrasounds, etc.. And behold! the only thing to come through was also traditional Chinese medicine techniques of re-harmonizing the body. If only we'd knew to take better care of ourselves. But experience, too, is its own gift :) I wish you health, and most of all the happiness you so truly deserve. Thank you, sweetheart, for instilling hope in all who journey with you. *HUGS & KISSES*.

[@rhianhardy4631]

This is a lovely video. Thank you for sharing your story. I tried for 14 months, had one early miscarriage and now have a beautiful baby girl. I know that in comparison to you and of course others that is not a very long time. But I got thoroughly depressed and felt joyless. It also had an impact on my marriage. Anyway now I’m rambling...I also realised that I ovulated very early in my cycle, day 7-9 and so I had been missing the fertile window for so many months. I also saw a wonderful lady for reflexology, which I am certain helped. Even if you do not believe in alternative therapy - taking an hour out of your head to relax once a week can work magic. Sending love to anyone else on this journey and blessings to you and your beautiful children x

[@fiammy1991]

Thank You so much Ruth for sharing. So happy for your and Mr. AMR happy ending, Angelica and Ted are adorable.

[@LondonFan2010]

Thank you for sharing your story with us. As someone who is just going through that I can tell you that it is giving me a lot of hope and calming me down, so thank you so much. Also, congrats on your gorgeous babies. I’m so glad that your struggle is behind you and you get to enjoy your family 😊

[@beckymead533]

Interesting and helpful video (oh and your skin is bloody amazing!!) . I can relate a little. I had my first baby at 42 after 2 miscarriages. I luckily fell pregnant quickly every time and now have a boy of 2 and a half. My rainbow baby; but that journey to getting here was hard and mine was only a short one in comparison so hearing your experiences was very interesting. I suppose my advice to anyone is you can still get pregnant if you’re older. There is so much negativity around when you hit 35 you’re too old, it’ll be harder, your risk of M/c is greater and yes all those things are I suppose true but not for everyone. Miracles bloody well do happen! I did exactly the same as you, I changed my diet, got healthier and took vitamins. I also tried really hard to not just think about babies and getting pregnant. I started to think about life without children and how it would and could still be a Good life. Albeit a different one. We booked trips away and abroad and I took up new hobbies. When we got pregnant and all was fine I can’t say I enjoyed my pregnancy for fear of another loss but it all went well. We are so grateful. I think Your video will help a lot of people ruth and your truth and honesty of how you felt will offer so much support to women. Xxxx

[@Rebecca-ow8pi]

LOVE the glasses!

[@sophieelwatson6702]

I'm really glad you made this video Ruth and I'm sure it will ring true for so many people. We had a difficult time for about 3 years with one ectopic and a few positive tests that quickly ended, but we now have a two year old and a 6 month old. It's all consuming when you want something to happen so badly and like you said we just expect it will happen but for one reason or other it isn't immediate for all of us. Great advice as usual. It's so stressful I think taking that time to take care of yourself can make such a difference. I was an early ovulator as well and I'm sure that's partly where we were going wrong!

[@Fakephoto]

Ruth I am amazed at how open you are about your struggle getting pregnant. It must have been an incredibly trying and emotional time. That alone may have made pregnancy more difficult. You have two lovely children now and how precious they are!

[@ShehnazKhan1]

Thank you so much for sharing your story. It brought tears to my eyes. I am about to start a third round of IVF and it helps to hear from others who have been through this.

[@elizabethf8459]

Thank you for sharing - I had the opposite experience, easily pregnant with my first kid, but my second was such a struggle. Two losses (one at 20 weeks which was absolutely heart breaking)... It's just the worst. I'm very glad to never go through it again and I'm happy with my two healthy kids. And Chinese medicine was the big factor! Once cycle of acupuncture.

[@blydia]

thank you so much for sharing this. We’ve been going through this for the last couple years and I have to say I unsubbed you because like you said - hard to see other people have families, not that I’m not happy for them but just gives this jab of pain every time you’re confronted with the thing you seem to not be able to have. anyways, this has given me hope and lifted my spirits to go back to take care of myself because frankly I’ve stopped doing that... thank you!!

[@elmahusibegovic4491]

Thank you so much for telling your story. I'm struggling right now and had a miscarriage last year. The feelings you described after the miscarriage are exactly what I felt. It feels good knowing that I am not alone. Thank you Ruth❤

[@TaylorTiree]

This is such an honest and interesting video Ruth. I’m going to show it to my daughter. A checklist video would be really helpful xx

[@Ambient_dreamer]

And yes, please please do another video with things that were so easily overlooked! X

[@r0sie16]

Hi Ruth, long time silent subscriber here. Your daughter and my son are only 1 month apart in age and I had IVF. I remember your announcement video and your blog post and I felt like we had so much in common. Thank you for this video and raising awareness. I felt so alone during the years of trying and the hundreds of tests (I used to pull mine apart and put the strips on the window to try and see a line!?!) I haven’t tried for a second yet (think il give myself a few more years first haha) but I’m hoping to have less trouble with the next one xxx

[@21hazel]

Thank you Ruth, a practical checklist would be great. Very much appreciate your honest and unfiltered take on this deeply personal journey.

[@annaherdennz]

Been through some issues like you Ruth. I now have Indi 4 born in 2014 at 35 and Benn 1 born in 2017 at 38. I used to say to myself keep the faith, and I did. Love to you xx

[@anndoucette4307]

A very candid and inspirational story, Ruth - so happy for you and your beautiful family. Many thanks for all of you posts - I learn so much from you and your graciousness. 💕

[@bettycooper4127]

It takes a lot of courage to come up and share your story with others. You have done an incredible job here. More power to you. Your story is very inspiring. The way you have explained everything is tremendous. This video will help many others. They will get hope and strength. Loads of love and best wishes your way hun.

[@achrisjones]

Wonderfully said Ruth you truly spoke from the heart. I too can relate to the feeling of not being important at the hospital when you are bleeding and worried about your first pregnancy. It was terrible and they made me feel worse by making me wait to see anyone and then having to come back the next day for the ultrasound. I experienced bleeding at the end of my third month with all three of my babies and I did lose one of the twins from my second pregnancy. I had three beautiful babies and treasure them all.

[@noraa.616]

*Really informative video, with great reminders for those who want to have children. And as others have already stated, you express yourself in such a beautiful manner, that showcases your precious character wonderfully.*

[@erikaharris9218]

Thank you so much for sharing this. I'm going through something similar - natural pregnancy that ended in MC 8 years ago, two rounds of IVF, one of which didn't work and the other which ended in another MC (I also had to have the D&C removal - it's a horrible procedure to go through). I also tried acupuncture, but it made my periods unbearably heavy that I stopped after a few months. I'm now just seeing what happens. It's heartening to hear that a similar experience to me you have two beautiful children. It gives me hope. Thank you again for sharing xx

[@isabellabrooks4662]

Thank you for sharing such great information. This will definitely help the miserable ones to cope with infertility. I totally agree with you. I appreciate your efforts in this regard. You are such an inspiration for the disappointed ones. Well, surrogacy is definitely something that gives fruit. Wishing you very best of luck!

[@kittyrascall1073]

Would love to hear what you did for exercise and food on your fertility journey? what you feel helped in terms of nutrition. Great video! x

[@victoriaturnbull1982]

Thank you for sharing your story. We have just started our infertility ‘journey’ and this has helped me massively and also gives me hope for the future ❤️

[@sophiemorley7732]

Thanks for sharing your story, Ruth. I had a different experience with pregnancy. I fell pregnant the first month of trying. I used an ovulation kit as my cycles were all over the place and it must have got it spot on! I then spent every day consumed by it, thinking surely it was too easy and I wouldn’t be lucky enough to go to full term. I had an early scan at 7 weeks (like you did, I remember commenting on your blog) to ease my anxiety which helped for a little while. I felt almost guilty like I’d cheated on a test as others around me struggled to fall pregnant 😔😔 Anyway I now have a beautiful 6 month old daughter 😀 All mums will have a different journey but we’re all wonder women xxx

[@elen8026]

Thank you for the video Ruth, it is so supportive . I already had two miscarriages and now I'm waiting for my fourth IVF, and a story with a good end is what I need to hear at such a moment.

[@christinadowns3207]

I struggled to conceive our LO, it took 5 years so I totally understand the struggle, I started to avoid situations where I would be surrounded by children, envious of pregnant bellies and just generally depressed about the whole thing, sex was no longer fun but a chore and every month I felt like a failure. Then I looked into acupuncture, lost a tonne of weight and was given clomid on the NHS, our first cycle of the drug resulted in our little man. Those were without doubt the hardest years but the struggle was worth it every time he smiles at me :-D

[@Sarlota]

I am currently 23 weeks pregnant. I was labeled infertile since I was about 13yrs old. All my life I had virtually non existent cycle, chronic PID etc... I got accidentally pregnant 18yo and lost the baby 14 weeks in due to inflamed placenta. Eight years later I started to try for a baby with my ex-partner. Nothing happened for a year and the relationship totally crumbled apart. When I met my husband I was very open about all this and we agreed to try and adopt if it fails. We got pregnant the first time trying :-) and the pregnancy so far is very healthy. Couple of things I think helped: 1/ Being on the same page with the prospect father. We didn't start to try until 2years after our wedding which was nerve-wracking for me but I think he did the right thing wanting to sort out our finances and living situation first (and he worked SO HARD towards it) because it is very important to feel safe and secure. 2/ I went to chiropractor because of my back pain. The doctor had a very hard time to crack my lumbar vertebra as it was utterly stuck! As soon as he managed I got a period (just couple of hours later) and had VERY regular cycle ever since. 3/ I got Natural Cycles app for my phone and tracked my periods and basal temperature... As I say, we tried on the day the app suggested and hey presto!

[@kimberlynathaniel4273]

Hey. What a lovely video. Thank you so much for making this. It's going to help so many people. Having faith is so important. You showed that! P.S. You're beautiful!

[@strawberryheaduk]

Thank you so much for this video Ruth. I agree with every sentiment you expressed here. I too had major struggles but am now so lucky to be 21 weeks pregnant with our IVF baby. Xx

[@selmizabeqa4406]

Thanks for sharing this Ruth, I know stuff like this can be very personal but am happy you shared. 🤗 it’s good to see that other people experience this (sorry if that sounds bad) and I was not the only one going through this! Finally expecting my first 👶🏻😘😘

[@oliviadent970]

Congratulations, I'm so happy for you!

[@itsclarabellexo5625]

So inspiring for those who are struggling to get pregnant. Would love a video about good/bad things to help get pregnant. On everything.

[@niamhswan]

Love this Ruth xxx I, like you have had loads of tests everything came back ok but in the end I did have ivf and have my gorgeous nearly 2 year old. Was told my 1st pregnancy might trigger something for baby number 2 but still waiting 🙁 we are lucky to have 5 embryos in storage so I’m hopeful that 2019 will be good for us xxx so happy u have your happy ending with your 2 beautiful babies xxx 😘💗💗

[@karlieknight7507]

Jeeze it has only been 7 months of trying for me and I'm already horribly depressed. Soul crushing is the correct description. I've suffered 2 miscarriages in the past as well when I tried before these 7 months. I have lost all hope and I literally cry every day!

[@valcarter6394]

Thanks for this Ruth. I know from personal experience how devastating infertility is. I tried to conceive after I married in 1996 at the age of 34. Nothing happened, so we went through all the tests. My husband already had 2 sons from his previous marriage and they both lived with us. The tests eventually revealed that I had gone through an early menopause. As my husband already had 2 children, we were refused fertility treatment on the NHS. We couldn’t afford to go private and in any case, I’d have needed a donor egg and I wanted a baby that was from both of us. I felt tortured for years and , if I’m totally honest, it still upsets me now at the age of 56. I do have 2 grandkids now from each of my stepsons, but I still torture myself sometimes with the thought that they’re not ‘mine’.

[@samjc3823]

Our first 2 children we got preg really quickly but when we tried for our 3rd it took almost 2 years and 2 miscarriages along the way. It was heartbreaking. I can’t imagine going through 7 years of trying. Infertility is so difficult, it comes with sadness, anger and makes you feel guilty when others get preg and you are jealous or can’t be happy. I’m sure this will help a lot of people that are going through this. Not enough people talk about it. X

[@Nina-dp3gx]

Sam JP was there anything special help you to finally conceive the 3rd one? Thanks a lot for sharing.

[@samjc3823]

Nina no nothing special. Think it was the fact I stopped stressing about it. I kind of gave up and assumed it would never happen and then it did. So difficult to not stress but I really do think that relaxing is what made it happen. X