My Life As A Gangster: Looking Back

[@CidalMK]

I totally agree with you. People need to educate themselves on what they're getting themselves into. I am OG i gave the system 29 years 2 strikes 16 Institutions in CA. Had 2 different lifers Tell me they will never get out. And I still had a chance at life. And if I kept up on the path I was, he would Save me a cell. So the question I had to answer myself was am i going to do life, or have a life? I chose have a life. And I have been out ever since. Now I am 21 years sober. Living life as God intended me to free.... Keep up with the good work you're doing dubs. Inspiration and education are what a lot of people need. God bless you, brother.

[@danielmeuler2877]

congrats on the 21 years sober. I'm working on year #4 myself. I tell people once you start stacking days of sobriety it doesn't matter if it's 2 days or 2years. Never give back what you worked so hard to earn. It's great you tell your story of redemption, just to let those struggling to know it can be done and there is a way out.

[@bradleygonzalez1160]

Saludos In Christ we have a chance brother.

[@ryantracy1919]

I love how dubs breaks shit down like you know he’s with the business, but educated as well. Salute dubs

[@NathanielMarkarian]

One thing about making wrong decisions, is the wisdom it brings.

[@blksubiesti]

I was a Staff NCO in the Marines. Some of my best people were former gang members. They have great loyalty you just have to change what they are loyal to.

[@bradleygonzalez1160]

Semper Fidelis Brother All glory to King Jesus

[@CY-1627]

I see a new BIDEO, i click immediately

[@sinuous1]

I've been watching your videos for a minute, and didn't realize until this video that you're from SB. Dope, I grew up there my whole life. Much Respect to you and yours.

[@ykthemayor]

Ive been following DUBS for awhile and you know he was the brains and smart while inside. Hes a tactician and general same as me. I respect homie a lot 💯💯💯

[@elsuperpollo2273]

It's a trip I was no angel growing up, but my youngest brother got 25 to life, and I'm still shocked I didn't and my family expected me to. My family calls me the strange one that I left Califas to Alabama, but it taken me 12 years to get rid of my inner demons, and I sometimes blame myself for exposing my younger brother to stupid sh** and I did my own thing. What saddens me is the rest of my family clowns my youngest brother in San Quentin, I dont but my family says I'm the dumb one for feeling bad for my little bro, but then i think about it I'm glad i moved out of califas to get away from my family.

[@AnoNymous-ek1wr]

You have Survivor's Guilt homie. I still have it on occasion at the age of 47. But when I got out of prison the first person I called was my mentor. He taught me everything I knew about how to conduct myself both in the street and in real life. Treat the streets like I would any other job. Respect the streets, respect the game, respect the neighborhood, and respect our enemies. Business was business, and I learned how to separate my "job" from my social life. It's impossible to do it completely bc I couldn't control other people's actions, but for the most part I was pretty good moving in the street while being able to conduct myself properly around civilians. A lot of friends and enemies couldn't separate the 2. And I get it homie it's hard to switch on and off because your surroundings are always changing but I was always the same. It's a double life and it has consequences. I went to too many funerals, he DEA was always f**kin with me because I stood out. Besides my sister I was the only white kid in an all Vietnamese neighborhood, I'm fluent in their language, I didn't have a father so I found my father figure in the street. He groomed amd mentored me from a very young age until I jumped off the porch at 13. When I made that decision I had to expect for all of the negative energy I put out, eventually I woukd have to pay the universe back bc the universe needs to maintain balance. That's what their culture taught me and I believe it to be 199% true. I was never greedy. I never did anyone dirty or fell short on either the product or money. I treated the street like it was actually alive and like it was always watching all of us. I was always so careful and the few times I got in trouble, I would beat it in court. But out of nowhere the universe came for it's payback and it was VICIOUS. I never saw it coming bc I hadn't messed up. I respected the street and I behaved accordingly. So i didn't do anything wrong. That's what I thought. Long story short I got picked up because there was a stolen motorcycle in my apartment complex that one of the dumbass youngsters stashed near my crib without telling me. So even though I'd always been careful and professional about business that I was personally conducting,I got caught slipping bc I wasn't paying attention to everything around me. I had to cop a plea deal and did almost 3 years over some idiot kid that stole a motorcycle. While I was away i decided I was out. I was only 23 but I was worn down and I'd gotten careless. I lost my edge. The damn DEA sent the same 2 agents that were bothering me on the streets to see me in prison 3 tines tfyung to get me to talk about other people's business. They even told me they f*?kin KNEW I had nothing to do with that motorcycle because that kid dry snitched on himself when he eventually got hemmed up. He told them I had nothing to do with it while I was still fighting my case. He got out on bail and he ended up getting killed within a few weeks. I knew I couldn't cut it anymore and I was sick a d tired of being sick and tired. I got out on Valentine's Day 2001. I got home and called my mentor to go eat. I ran him down on everything, I told him what the DEA was saying and who they were talking about and I asked to be let go. That man loved me like a son and I felt yhe same about him, but I knew I had to leave. I would've become a liability and I didn't want to spend the rest of my life in prisons or dead before 30. He was happy that I'd chosen my own path. He didn't want me to end up like his brothers and so many others fron the neighborhood. I still think about a lot of that stuff. Whenever I'm back home in Houston I always make sure to set some time for me to go see him and show him the man that I became. Almost everyone is dead or locked up now My mentor's health is declining pretty fast. He's nearly 80 now. You chose a different path as I did. Maybe you feel like you turned your back on your neighborhood. Maybe you feel responsible for your brothers actions after you left. Maybe you've been to too many funerals. Idk how old you are homie. All I can tell you is that what you're feeling is normal. I know because I know how it feels when you're having a normal day and out of nowhere you feel that sense of emptiness punch you on the chest. That's the universe coming to.collect homie. I'm telling you, the universe will always need to be in balance. But it doesn't take it from you all at once. It eats at you and gets it's payback bit by bit. Just know that we will spend the rest of our lives with the shame and guilt and that f**kin emptiness that you feel sometimes. It will get easier and it will happen less and less as you age. But, for people like us, the ones that thought we got out and left when we were finished with the streets, we never expected the street to come back for us and the things we did. Whatever it was, we took something from that life and it's stained us for life. Other people can see that there's something different about you, Right? Civilians always notice that I'm not like them. Sometimes they'll say something, and sometimes they won't. They don't know what it is that makes you just a little different. But you know what it is. It doesn't matter how well we try to wear our masks, we'll always be just a little different. The way we carry ourselves. The way we're always looking around and taking in our surroundings. All that stuff. It never goes away and the average person doesn't have the same instincts that we do. They never had to develop those instincts bc they had no reason. But you know what I'm talking about. There's nothing we can do to erase what we did. Just remember that the universe will come and take a piece of what you owe. You need to accept it and try to embrace that feeling. I think of it like I'm taking my medicine amd it tastes horrible and it's going to make me feel worse before I get better. And you will get better at it. It just takes time homie. You'll heal up, but you'll carry a scar forever as a reminder. Sorry for the long response to your comment. But I saw it, and I thought you might need someone to let you know that you're experiencing what a lot of us do. Most people don't ask people like us if we're doing OK. Even our loved ones don't ask how we're doing. Your girlfriend or wife or even your parents won't ask you and it will make you feel lonely or even resentful at times bc you feel like nobody cares. I get it. It doesn't feel good. It's something we gotta deal with. I just saw your post and thought I'd check in on someone that might be feeling a bit lost.

[@SenorGrandePP]

This is my favorite new KZbin channel I’ve been binge listening to your stories. Really enjoyed the stories of Pelican Bay 🦅

[@ClementeM-t9k]

D. The envy to have what we did not. The ego to be who we were not,lead us to be who we shouldent have been. Lack of trust,or faith in anyone,or thing leading us thru a life of lonliness ,stress,and pain. We shall sustain! Keep up your fine attitude,and work mano. Peace be with you. C.

[@Jimmymc79]

I appreciate you sharing your experiences with us. You're very self aware individual which is extremely important when changing our lives. Keep pushing that postitive message and saying how it really is in the life.

[@_1Krazy3_]

Coming from a 18 year old youngster I pay attention to the words you say it hits you when you really listen to ideals

[@moisesflores828]

Thank you for sharing all that knowledge, only people like you who has gone through the system can explain it gracias Dubss saludos from Guadalajara send a shout out this way whenever you get a chance

[@bradleygonzalez1160]

Saludos carnal. That life leads to death and destruction Only in Jesus Christ we have life and love. Praying for you carnal.

[@bruno5760]

The greatest line in the greatest movie of all time 'as far back as I can. Remember, I allways wanted to be a gangster ` I've alllways said. There's a big difference between a gangster and a gangmember. Mydad was a paisa and straight gangster. Me. I grew up in San Diego and ran the streets with the homies all my teenage years. Then I grew up and would rather make money than jumping foos that are Raza from another varrio. Thats when I became more gangster but I grew up from that too and now run a small business

[@cliffgoodman8958]

Dubbs, Great self reflection, letting it out honestly can only help these wild Wild West young guns, if they’ll listen. It’s a real treat to listen to your clear, concise, introspection. Keep up the good work brother!

[@mikereynolds2313]

Its not a car club had me 😂😂😂

[@Eskimonpearl]

Usually my interest in this stuff comes and goes, but since finding dubs channel I catch his “new video” daily

[@2SMPerformance]

Wish you did a video about getting out of the CDC and getting into CNC machining..

[@Mikeyscaff1111]

I have similar feelings on my life. Wasted time, strained relationships. The thing I take from it that I would apply to you is that going through all of it has made you the cool gentleman you are today. You’re a good dude now dubs and that’s a fact. 👍🏻

[@TomatodeVMHNS8stAVONDALE]

Ever since I can remember I always wanted to be a gangster Henry hill

[@frank5.3]

Good and wise words. Gracias.

[@CenCalNative]

Homie, no one could have said it better. Saludos, de uno que si pudo cambiar el camino que iba. If the homies and I had a mentor like yourself we would have changed our outlook in life in the barrio.

[@A90923]

I just clicked on the video dubs, im glad you're here doing better things and you're a better person for it. Keep up all the hard work you're doing BTS.

[@AD-zb1tv]

Dubs talk about your last 5 years in prison and your what your transition into society was for the first gew months. Would love to hear that side of your story.

[@felipedelariva3387]

Wutz big dawg!!! Saludos con respeto desde MANTECA 209 YES SIR !!! DID YOU meet anybody from the 209! Thank you!

[@mikereynolds2313]

Stockton 209 resident ( I'm from SoCal)

[@jasa32]

Dubs is about Business He is needed to show these young cats that life is serious

[@elsuperpollo2273]

I miss the old dubs saying Video/Bideo all chunty, Haha.

[@CenCalNative]

Órale 😂

[@jerrythomas4457]

Did you get some new furniture for the apartment? Renta-center?

[@JJ-ub4ih]

I'm from Texas and a State School rep, just living life these days. Texas same way, I'm White.

[@davidpoop2048]

Hey Dubs. Appreciate you. You’re well spoken. Keep up the good work

[@elsuperpollo2273]

Keep the content coming, praying for yea carnalito

[@jaine2164]

Thanks for sharing, God bless.

[@Simonsayshmp]

Facts , England in da house

[@gi7685]

Greetings from amsterdam🙏🙏

[@YoutubePoliceUnit]

Wes Watson says hello

[@henryphilipbelliIII1074]

Crash tests and Lifers... Chess and checkers... #LaRaza

[@teddiemack8071]

You just have to make the most of every day whatever the situation you are in. For personal pride reasons and to set an example for the kids.

[@esotericknowledge111]

Hey Dubs can you make a video telling us about how you felt when you got out and had to open bank acc, get DL and stuff. We’re you embarrassed going to the bank to open it for the first time and all the interactions you had. Thank you

[@keithagee8972]

...being championed

[@RN_BSN_PHN]

"You wanna go to jail? Or do you wanna go home?" - Alonzo, Training Day -

[@chrissiemendes7376]

Salute! Keep pushing forward

[@TomatodeVMHNS8stAVONDALE]

Arizona says QVO

[@swervinrigg209]

Dubs can you do a video on the gang injunctions that they imposed and why they started ….in 05 we got them here in Modesto but I know they started down south first in the 90s

[@Abraham-h1k]

Some people just have no political ambitions for their own reasons. You don’t have to be a part of politics to know what time it is.

[@lalliesanghera5728]

Good afternoon! Another great video 😎💪🏽

[@alexandersands8447]

Keeping it 💯 as always. How is it for a Christian white man lone wolf?

[@anthonyaguilar8883]

I also was a marine 0311

[@climatecontrolnews6287]

Greetings from Australia

[@chino53st]

Wazzup Dudz saludos from East Los Angeles

[@christiangonzalez2646]

Good advice

[@P.M.O.S.69]

Excellent Video 👍🏼

[@AlexanderSmith-tp9de]

Hey dubs can u talk about the time when u first enter cya and your first day there Love the channel.

[@alexandersands8447]

At least no matter how lonely and hard it gets I got Jesus

[@JuarezDerrick]

KZbin isn't even pushing your videos anymore. I haven't seen a video from you in a month

[@ironlion805]

Do a history of SB Dubs!!

[@daniellucero986]

Great video homie 🫡

[@jazzdrummer1945]

🤝 keep up the good fight

[@changedman4life24years]

Facts as always 👏👏👏

[@YoutubePoliceUnit]

Oooo you know the history, you are so much better. Your ego is yapping

[@mobbnasty9804]

Saludos @Dubs

[@joev4226]

Interesting video

[@blancao5988]

Great video

[@JuelPayne-y1j]

You wanted to be a marine well you didn’t make it but you did get your retirement in congratulations you made it out now you can help others to retire from something else

[@felipegallegos7980]

Q-vo ese dubs!

[@IfearGod.]

👍

[@Alfonso-b41]

That's all good og WHENEVER YOU HAVE TIME can you do that update on that M member that got shnkd by a Crip and put in his place for acting drunk and belligerent?? You been awfully quiet about that..

[@Dubsv]

I don’t speak on legends from any faction

[@Alfonso-b41]

You did already spoke on it before. All the channels mentioned it this happened last year

[@dropfishboogie3869]

What city did you grow up in dubs?

[@esotericknowledge111]

He’s from Santa Barbara. Check out his videos he talks about it a lot. It’s a trip man trust me you won’t regret it

[@dropfishboogie3869]

@@esotericknowledge111 nice ty

[@membersonly4122]

Real

[@willbilson7210]

Boom

[@Triple-750]

Big Dubs

[@Godchild0712]

❤

[@elpelongitano36]

Big Dog Dubs new video

[@JavierValadez-si2vt]

👍✌️👍🏻

[@markhernandez3860]

You were not a gangster Dubs... Gangbanger ? Yes Gangster ? No.... Movie Adaptation as an example.. Get Shorty with Dennis Farina and Chili PAlmer. You werent a millionaire.

[@dominiqueriviere1276]

🙋‍♂️

[@breezmama4065]

💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

[@stuartday1330]

Are you sure about that assessment that there's nobody in there who likes to be the man in there?

[@Dubsv]

When did I use those words you are attributing to me?

[@stuartday1330]

​@@DubsvWhen you start talking about people inside rather be out here then in there starting around 10:15. And I was thinking out of all those dudes there has to be at least one to five dudes who would rather be in there than out here. For whatever reason.

[@Alfonso-b41]

GRACIAS!👎

[@REPDAT5SIX2]

That foo from majestic car club dissed you on a video with lefty tittle on KZbin

[@jay-dee5.562]

Dubs, you should be a counselor for youngsters on the wrong path. If they hear shit from a man that’s actually been there, at least one or two will pick up what you’re putting down. You can’t reach ‘em all but a couple is better than none at all. Saludos y respetos from Chuco Town🫡🍺

[@lorrietayaba5761]

🔥💯🫶🏼🪶🪶