My Marriage Was Not ALWAYS A Piece Of Cake | The 5 Phases Of Marriage Life Over 60 With Sandra Hart

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Hello Everyone, thank you ever so much for all of your comments and I love the way everyone is interacting with one another. I am reading each and every comment although I haven’t had a chance to actually answer every single one thank you again for being here. Love you!❤

[@lisabyl3240]

Love you but more importantly Jesus loves you !💕

[@goldie51944]

Love you too I feel like I’ve known you for so long and you and I are actually new friends Have a good day ❤️

[@Arya-qc9zg]

No, thank you Sandra! I generally try to stay positive but some recent health challenges have made that rather difficult. However, your amazing energy and positive outlook on life, and wise words, have really helped me through this period. Thank you 🙏❤️

[@kookietherapy9398]

I loved your last video w Arthur. He was a real spit fire and very east coast. I loved all his opiniated comments and agreed w him. 😃😁😃 You seemed to try keep it all borderline woke, which is a joke.

[@WawMay]

❤

[@cynthiawilliams737]

I have experienced a great deal of verbal abuse in this marriage (31 yrs.) & it was horrible at times, but I wouldn't leave because of my children who I adored, 4 yrs. ago my husband had a bad heart attack (widow-maker) & that changed everything, the terrible rages he used to have are no more, but what I didn't know during the abuse is how it affects the children & women should realize the trauma the children have living in that situation, both my children have to take anxiety meds!

[@denisegreene8441]

I had a great example for marriage with my parents. Mum turned 21 just ten days before she married my dad, who was just turning 24. They were total opposites. Dad was tall, slim and very handsome but incredibly shy. Mum was short, petite and very outgoing but what many said was not much to look at. My dad was devoted to my mum and vice versa. They came from different backgrounds. Dad was French cdn catholic and Mum was English/ Scottish Lutheran. Dad grew up in a loving stable home whilst Mum had been raised in an incredibly abusive home. Mum knew what she did and wouldn't accept in a husband . No drinking, no hitting and no verbal / emotional abuse. She always said to myself and my siblings " I didn't raise you to be someone's doormat". They should have discussed kids before marriage as Mum would have had as many as she could pop out but dad said enough at 6. He had not actually wanted any. They were a great team and were always supportive of each other. My siblings and I could never do the divide & conquer technique with them. LOL Mum was known through out our neighbourhood , dad not so much as he was quiet. He always smiled at how vibrant of a personality she had and she always appreciated his quiet even keel. They were each other's Ying and Yang. After 64 yrs of marriage my dad passed away and Mum, myself and my youngest daughter kept him at home and cared for him in his final months. It was an honour to watch them. Mum passed 7 months after. The grieving was the hardest to watch as Mum slowly lost her spark. She explained it thus... I was the bright fire everyone watched but your father was the wood, the fuel. He allowed me to burn so bright with his steady and constant support. He was everything to me, my fuel, my oxygen. A fire can not burn without fuel or oxygen". She never got over his death. They had their fights but I never ever had a fear as a child that they divorce. To find your person at such a young age and to be happy and fulfilled your whole adult life is a rare blessing. Rest in peace mumma and dad.

[@lilylebowsky5908]

In tears! Such beautiful metaphor, the wood enable the sparks in the fire ❤

[@karenlarson380]

...your story about your parents is beautiful

[@monyrothvlog2914]

Their love story is beautiful.

[@mpras684]

Wow! What a beautiful and solid example you had growing up. You must have felt incredibly safe and loved as a child. My mother is 76 and my father 80. I’m 44 and separated from my husband after 13 years (married 5) one year ago. Unfortunately my beautiful mother with the purest soul was the doormat (to put it mildly) and her three children were also in the firing line of my highly volatile and unpredictable father. He also had the capacity for such love and joy however I never knew when to expect the turns’ which were many. Kept me treading water and alert for too many years. I know now that my concept of a marriage and my self worth were products of my upbringing as I married my ‘unfinished business’. That is, I married a man like my father in an unconscious attempt to repeat his treatment and behaviour in attempt to mend all the ugliness of my relationship with him. He has dementia now and has become terribly mild mannered and my mother dutifully cares for him, never resenting him for the abuse she suffered. We are all flawed and also have the capacity for immeasurable love. It is the truly beautiful souls who conduct themselves throughout life without imposing their traumas onto the innocent. Your mother seems to have been one of those beautiful humans who experienced ugliness but chose to carry herself in a manner that was fitting of her character. She knew what was important in life and what the ‘small stuff’ was which wasn’t worth her sweat. Her strength and character demonstrated how she sought to be treated and with this, she was able to love her children and teach them what healthy boundaries were, so they too could grow up to live emotionally healthy lives. I am taking baby steps and am slowly noticing my self worth, competence and right to have an opinion. One day soon, I will not only live this life but THRIVE. Thank you for your touching story. Be well. 🌺

[@annekariuki4734]

Rest in peace..such a lovely couple ,a beautiful example of companionship and love

[@SaraMaurnoRealtor]

I was married at 45 and my husband was 42. He had been married before and I had not. I too was an actress in New York at 1 point in my career. I went through all these stages in a very short time as my husband lost his battle to leukemia just after our 10th Anniversary. Our marriage was not perfect but we adored each other and were so grateful. We told each other every day. We loved hard and fought hard and we were each other's best friend. It has been 5 years now and I'm 61. People tell me I look younger and that I should not give up on finding someone new. It's hard to find someone to fill his shoes. So I am content in knowing that I am enough. The right partner would surely be a blessing but our marriage gave me a model of what is possible and I'm not settling for anything less.

[@jmc8076]

As we get older we see it’s not quantity but quality. How many divorce after decades or widowed and felt their marriage was fine (or not) but expected to stay committed. By doing so sacrificed their own happiness. We only live once. Not everyone or thing deserves our commitment or right for us. Why should we settle? Too many women are forced to. Your marriage was shorter but a gift. Peace and health.

[@MsBernie64]

Thank you for sharing, Sara! Your marriage was perfect because somehow you also worked for it to be perfect. You will not have 2 marriages the same. However, as your friends tell you that you are still young, you could listen to them. You could find another perfect partner/husband. Avoid comparison. You can have another perfect marriage that is different from the last one. Perfection is not ONE certain way🤷 You can love 2 perfect meals that are totally different metaphotlrically speaking💖 Don't give up on love, no one is made to be alone. Good luck and God bless you🙏🙏🙏

[@olgamadsen8456]

I lost my husband to leikemi too ,after 30 years of marriage. My condolences

[@annelle525]

@@MsBernie64 love your message❤😊

[@Kiki-wi7px]

Comparison Can Be a Downfall. Just as Each and Everyone of Us are Very Different as "Human Being's," Each "Relationship" Will Be Very Different. Think of WHAT You Could Be Missing Out On, by NOT Giving L💜VE a REAL Chance. Your Choice. 🙂

[@rosettaroper3317]

My husband left me for younger woman. He left on our 26th wedding Anniversary. I was heartbroken. Now I am 79 and I am living alone but, I have adjusted very well to living alone and I have forgiven him.

[@alexiabailey6976]

I wish I had a woman like you in my life. I really miss sitting and gleaming for beautiful evergreen women. My pray is God will send me someone who will teach, is younger women...I'm 45 and growing and finding myself alone with 2 daughters.

[@sugarcookiecube]

I didn’t get married until I was 40. Now divorced 22 yrs, I just go on dates whenever I want with a steady about twice a month. That’s good enough for me. 😁

[@mabelmacias3423]

Dear Sandra, from Colombia I listen to you with great attention, I love your clarity, your advices that help me a lot. Thank you😊

[@travelseatsyellowlab]

Former Louisiana First Lady Elaine Schwartzenburg Edwards was divorced by her husband in 1989, after 40 years of matrimony, four children, at the age of 60. It was a long, lonely period for the next 29 years until she died in 2018, aged 89.

[@poodlegirl55]

This video really resonated with me, all of the stages. I have been happily married 48 years, but unlike you we got married young, I was 19. Because of what you have talked about in other videos my husband often seemed unromantic to me, he had a different way of expressing himself than I did. He loved me and was good to me and over time it became good enough. The end stage you speak of happened to us in 2020 and 2021 when I had five surgeries. Suddenly our life changed and the way that man took care of me would make your heart sing. The pain and love in his eyes when he sat by my bed during the worst times, the anguish he felt during covid lock downs when he could not visit me in the hospital was heartbreaking. I guess all of our marriage I was the caretaker of the family and this was the first time he was in charge. I realized the depths of his love to a degree I never did before. The good part is I survived and am still in my 60's and we will continue on together with a new understanding and closeness. In Fall 2024 on our 50th anniversary we will take the honeymoon we didn't have the first time and maybe have decades more together.Thank you Sandra.

[@haidagirl626]

Don't wait to take the honeymoon!

[@karenharvey2549]

I could have written this, I married a few weeks before I was 19, and we have been married 48 years now, except my hubby is quite expressive. I was very ill when we married with a poor prognosis, but my health improved as soon as we got married. I think happiness healed me, however, my husband has had a number of serious health problems in more tecent years, and he can't travel now. Who knows what is round the corner... Take that honeymoon trip now. Enjoy. Be happy. I hope we both celebrate a wonderful golden wedding anniversary. ❤

[@terrigodfrey8260]

So well spoken, Sandra. The stages make us grow. I was happily married for 50 years. We both grew as people, raised two wonderful sons and really liked one another! He was a bachelor of 32 and I was 23 when we married. When I was 56 and he was 65 we reinvented our lives and spent 18 years of winters in Florida. We had enormous creativity in those 50 years, the travel, his career, my business, friends, family. I knew I was loved and vice versa into old age. When he passed 18 months ago at age 82 I can honestly say I had no regrets. H is truly missed by all of us but I continue to have a rich, social life, working part time, gardening, writing and creating art. Life is art. You look radiant, Sandra.

[@TheFlowerGardenZa]

Beautiful! Thank you for sharing ❤

[@tharanandikkara1615]

❤

[@Jane_Friday]

Congrats

[@sharianderson4006]

Thanks, Sandra, so beautiful. My marriage, sadly, didn't last. I was married from age 22 to age 60. Ending it was the most difficult choice of my life but I had nearly lost myself, and probably would have lost my relationship with my 3 adult sons if I had stayed with this emotionally abusive narcissist. I am still trying to find myself; living under his control since age 21 makes recovery difficult. I think the acceptance stage in my marriage, was admitting to myself that he wouldn't change no matter how kind and loving I was, no matter the Christian example I tried to live, and so I had to leave. Nevertheless, I am surrounded by love and blessings!

[@deded1057]

Be blessed and don't let guilt run you over!! Only someone who has been in a similar situation has the slightest inkling of what you've been through. I've been married to a substance abuser for over 40 years. I have only empathy for you 💞

[@pampatriciae3937]

Your life sound so much like mine it's just that I am a little younger I was married for 28 yrs. 2013 God moved that Christian jumbie out my life

[@MusicalMaMa1982]

Don’t call it a shame that your marriage didn’t last I think it’s more of a loss that you felt that way for 18 years wishing you the best in your bright future

[@seemva]

Shari, best of luck in a new lease of independent life. Enjoy your life, pamper yourself, read, travel, fulfil your desires and most importantly stay healthy and happy. Seemi from Virginia

[@angelgirldebbiejo]

Always do what's best for you!!

[@earthdogpj1]

I’ve been in a 33 year marriage and have experienced these stages. We still tango a bit, but deep love and appreciation win every time. We are committed to our last days . I also experienced my Dad dying in hospice several weeks ago at the age of 99. His appreciation and my appreciation for helping each other and sharing details and of our life experiences , drew us close over the 10 years before he died. He thanked me for being his friend and not just his daughter. It was the best 10 years of my life. Commitment is a gift we give to ourselves and our loved ones. Love your sharing as always

[@jennywren8937]

Same here, caring for my mum until her 103rd year were the best days of my life because we had a deep understanding and love for each other. I am 75 now and life can never be the same again.

[@livingdoll3445]

Hi from Annie told so beautifully with sensitivity those years of marriage you shared as you said not many get to that stage.I am happy for you as you have so many good memories to embrace when you feel alone. It takes a lot of patience to stay married these days.

[@ellenshaw1341]

Beautifully said. I've been married for a long time and have lived through these stages too. My husband has now been in stage four COPD for about five years. It's not easy. But acceptance and committment are important words for this stage. I also took care of my father for fourteen years and he appreciated everything I coud do for him. Even hospice last summer so that he could go peacefully. I think it will be the same for my husband. It's a quiet life being this kind of a family caregiver. Sometimes I miss the fun we had going out. But I now treasure the simple good things of life all the more.

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Patti, what a beautiful gift you were to one another. Thank you so much for sharing that heartwarming relationship.

[@TheFlowerGardenZa]

❤

[@ruthoneill4221]

Thanks for sharing, Sandra. I was 20 when I married my then 28 year old fiancé. We’ve been married 55 years and certainly went through these stages. It was quite an awakening when the romance stage wore off and reality set in. But we made it work. For the last two years I’ve been taking care of him as he slips further and further away into dementia. His whole personality changed and a couple of times I was afraid of him unintentionally hurting me and I had to make the tough decision to place him into memory care. So although he is still here, he is also gone and I’m grief stricken every day as to what we’ve lost. My witty, fun loving companion is no more. I am now trying to put my life back together without him, although I will visit with him daily. We didn’t have children and family lives on the other coast. I’m fortunate to have many caring friends though. One day at a time as the saying goes ❤

[@ruthoneill4221]

@@Kiki-wi7px thank you so much for your kind and compassionate words 💕

[@micheledonovan4225]

Sounds so similar to my marriage We have been together For 59 years married for 55 Has always been my Knight in Shining Armour He turns 78 today and was diagnosed with vascular dementia 3 years ago I have COPD but we still have good laughs and have wonderful memories Just so sad to see the deteriation .But try to live our best lives We have a son on the other side of the World a daughter close by with 3 precious grandchildren So we are blessed As always your messages arrive at just the right moment ❤

[@tamiwilliams5903]

Been married almost 32 years and realized just recently that instead of going from marriage to marriage like other members of my family, I will need to face myself in the one I’m in! It’s taken me years to finally realize I am the one who needs to change. Lol. I’m happier now and so is my marriage!

[@TheFlowerGardenZa]

Love this ❤

[@aheartofworship27]

That is what’s kept me in mine, although for me it was through my faith that I realized it was me that needed prayers to change.

[@justinamusyoka4986]

Which areas of your of your life needed to change,can you clarify? Just asking.

[@tamiwilliams5903]

@@justinamusyoka4986 Ah bless you♥️well, I realized since I’m a person that thinks she’s “ always right “ about many things, and though I have many right ideas on how to do things, it’s ok to be open to a different way too. So… to try and answer your question properly, that has probably been my main struggle in my marriage which can cause much frustration for everyone! So only with Gods help can I even start to change. Thanks for asking! Blessings ♥️

[@sherricannon9407]

Love this realization-thx for food for thought❣️

[@lab4389]

I divorced my first husband after 25 years. His mental illness worsened, and we were not able to fix it. I then met my current husband at 53. I had no idea that I could be blessed to have a second chance. He is such a great human being. Great vlog Sandra! Blessings. 🌷

[@applesnicolle5144]

Oh yes - it’s when you’re older you understand what you want

[@egds64]

I was 45 and she was 33, when we got married...Now I am 59 and she is 47...both from different countries... And we keep going and loving each other despite all our differences. Thank you for sharing. 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

[@betsybabf748]

My 23 year marriage with my late husband was hard in the beginning. We were so young and passionate, as were the fights. We even briefly split in our 20s. Then we got it and we stopped fighting when it didn't matter. We knew who each other was, how each did things and it was beautiful. My friend's husband died suddenly while we were split, so it gave me perspective. Never knowing I would be widowed in my 40s, I then always judged an disagreement on whether it would matter if he ever died like her husband, and it wouldn't. That perspective gave me the gift of appreciating what mattered and having no regrets when I was a 41 yr old widow.

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Thank you Betsy. I appreciate your sharing with us today.

[@WorldWideWebObserver]

Hello Sandra! Glad Arthur finally woke up the final year of his life to appreciate you fully and to acknowledge your devotion and love to him that had been there all along. Very common for men to take women for granted until the relationship ends.

[@LadyBug1967]

Tyra I was wondering the same thing that if he had not gone into decline that last year would they not have reached the commitments stage. An interesting thought, no?

[@robertm.-certifieddaytrade4939]

@@LadyBug1967 I know several people who have found it difficult to reach that 5th stage in a marriage! Sadly and also ironically, some have reached it simply because their spouse got ill and couldn’t BAIL OUT of the marriage! Under these circumstances the commitment is NO LONGER genuine,but at least, the Stay together to the finish line! Sandra, you look DIVINE! Stay blessed my dear... Robert from daytradingwiththelight

[@applesnicolle5144]

Tyra Thompson - what’s Miss Sandra saying?? Did she lose her husband Arthur?? Last I listened to her videos Arthur was around

[@amyfaith2350]

That was beautiful. Somehow God put me in a place where I'm taking care of 97 year old lady. I've know her since I was 17. I never, ever knew I had a caregiver's heart. Now I know more of myself. Here I am with a British second mom who married an American serviceman and moved to Texas. A lovely lady and I'm so glad to have her in my life and learn more of myself.

[@lynn682]

I’m in year eight of my second marriage. This is his first marriage. I’m 40, he’s 39. It has been ROUGH, we’ve experienced the worst times in our lives, together and through that have found a new appreciation for life and each other. I’m hopeful. 🙏🏿🖤

[@leianu5166]

When my dad pass away at the age of 82 he and my mother were married for 62 years. My mom will be 91 this year and till this day we talk about my dad everyday. I will always treasure the years growing up with my parents and I will never forget the love my parents shared together.❤️🌺

[@Adrian-sm1nl]

This was so beautifully said 💕 I'm 26 and my husband is 25. We have been married for 3 year's. It's so refreshing to hear someone speak of marriage in such a positive way and honesty speak of the rough patches but how mates can get past those 💓 we live in a world that sadly looks down on marriage and gives no advice other then divorce if minor problems come up in marriage. Thank you again 🥰 I'll definitely be applying your advice in my marriage

[@embr4065]

My husband and I have been married for 32 years. I made the commitment going into it that no matter what I would make it work. My husband is emotionally absent and doesn't really know me nor does he even think to ask. I have a partner but not a friend. Maybe someday we, too, will reach those last two stages before we get too old. There is always hope!

[@mswnderwman]

I got married at 18 and was in an emotionally, mentally and physically abusive marriage for many years. Unfortunately because of my negative experience I’ve never committed to a serious relationship. I used to wonder why, but have grown to understand that because of my independent nature I simply cannot risk putting myself in that kind of a relationship ever again. Maybe sad, but true. I relish my independence but that doesn’t mean that I never feel lonely.

[@lizmona9679]

I have the same. 👍🐞🐘🍀💖🌞

[@judyblakely7450]

Sandra I could write a book about the cycles of a very long marriage of 55 years. I was a baby of 19 years old looking for stability and my husband (25) was looking for someone to love him. We both come from very dysfunctional families. Our last 15 years have been the best years of our lives. My husband becomes more appreciative of me with each passing day. Life throws us curveballs but somehow we’ve been able to survive it together and so thankful for each other. It’s definitely been worth the struggles. ❤

[@SandraSallin]

Oh Sandra, I so identify with you both. My husband and I have been married for 62 years and our love has only grown. I think this is the best of times. Thank you.

[@beverlystickney]

My husband and I loved each other deeply. We definitely had power struggles. He was a very accomplished man and I was a professional in the mental health field. At the end of his life I took care of him and I felt his love for me more than ever. He's been gone now for 5 years. I'm trying to hang on to the memory of his last days and his last words that he spoke to me. This was my all time favorite video that you have made. Thank you.

[@nanettebear295]

What an excellent talk today!. It brings up things we kind of forget about or take for granted. You and Arthur were so fortunate to have that special love. You really shined today Sandra!!!

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Thank you very much.

[@jaimiejust7365]

I was 19 and my husband was 26 when we got married. On our wedding day, we’d only seen each other face to face for about 3 weeks, so I really didn’t know him well! Not only that, but he is German, so I moved all the way to Germany at that young age to live with a husband I barely knew. Goodness, what was I thinking?! Haha We did end up coming to America to make our home, but it’s definitely not been an easy 22 years of marriage. Being married to someone whose first language isn’t English and will always feel like a foreigner in my country as well as his many-year struggle with depression, add to that our daughter who has special needs and puts much stress on the family dynamics, we truly have a relationship that should be doomed for failure. However, through it all we have clung to our love for one another and the things we have in common (like travel and love of German culture, language and cuisine), our faith in God and commitment to one another. We have at least hit the acceptance stage, if not the commitment stage. It’s definitely not easy, and we hit speed bumps and potholes frequently, but I believe that each time we successfully navigate these difficult times, it gives us the confidence and faith that we can weather any storm. I am proud of us for sticking with it and don’t know what I’d do without him. Thank you for this video!

[@fredalearhinan6693]

Well said. I have only been married for 9years . Having met my husband at 60yrs . We have gone through the stages pretty fast. But above all commitment to our marriage gives us determination.

[@stacieboucher1570]

Hi Saundra and family on line. We’ve gone through all the stages like you said. Going on 47 ys. A couple ys ago during Covid I all of a sudden saw I was married to an old man. He changed so much, spent all our money, really let me down. Then I saw something on u tube about dementia. Turns out he has behavioral frontal temporal lobe dementia! It’s a nightmare. He’s only 66. I’m barely copying with taking over everything, debt, finances, chores, ranch chores, ect. He has apathy, so cares about nothing, except maybe the dog. His Love and appreciation is pretty much gone. I’m trying with all my strength to keep loving, forgiving, serving him. So sad. Wondering if anyone else is going thru this. Thanks Sandra for your positive encouragement. Wrote to you once on Romper room when I was little and you saw me thru your magic wand! Cool to see you now! Sorry about Arthur’s passing. Saw how in love you two are! GodBless all❤

[@lifewithsandrahart]

You do need help. Reach out to your local hospital and see if there is a dementia support group available for you. You cannot do it alone.

[@katiewest7908]

💙 My 40+ year marriage began with a friendship through work. We've been through most of those stages, but our regard for one another was always more important than power. We have similar mindsets. Our birthdays are two days apart, so we share similar star charts. Best of all, we share the same humor and that's always softened the stressful times.

[@kibkac]

I'm 59 Gary is 68 Both our second marriage of 22 years now. We've struggled immensely but as we look at where we are at today we are so very grateful that we stayed together and didn't give up. What we have is so precious, so beautiful❣️

[@henryrivas8999]

Met my partner when I was 21 and he was 18. We have now been together 38 years. You are spot on.

[@drrodas]

I'm surprised by the lack of comments from husband's. I appreciate your strength, patience, and understanding, Sandra. Both my wife and I have established a long and challenging medical careers that routinely tear at relationships and marriages. I fell in love with my wife at first sight and still hold that passion for her. Being flexible and not allowing the negative and unimportant things to interfere with a relationship is critical. A sprinkle of humor and playfulness helps as well, lol. Life and love are about passages and stages. Each allows us to gain wisdom and appreciation. Raul & Donna.

[@vimincanada5773]

Thank you for your very inspiring talk today. My husband and i have been married for 48 years now. Despite the occasional spats, we love, laugh and enjoy our moments together.❤

[@denisefourie803]

Hello Sandra Thank you for this message. My husband is 76 I am 58. We have been married for 32 years. He was married before with two children. I haven't been married before and I have no children. I also gave up my career in a financial institution which I enjoyed when my husband decided to retire at 57. In the beginning I was very resentful towards him. Over time we have evolved through the stages and come through the other side as friends, our love still in tacked. The journey has been hard with his children right up to this day. We are the end stage spending quality time with each other and enjoying our memories. I more of a care giver now. Not having children gives me some anxiety about being lonely one day as I am very private and an introvert. Thank you for sharing a private piece of your life with us. Lots of love Denise🎉❤

[@connien7690]

Sandra, this made me cry! My husband and I will be married 40 years very soon. Your marriage sounds so much like mine was. I had been married before and lost my husband. I also had 3 children. We have went through all the stages, and now we are going through the last two. He too is my best friend. Have a great week. Thank you for all the helpful videos.

[@michellebilodeau3882]

I met my husband when I was 19 and married him when I was 20 and he was 26. We have now been married for 45 years. It hasn't always been easy and sometimes it was downright tough. But at this stage of the game I can honestly say we are happy together and loving our kids and grandkids together. He is 72 and in poor health now and I often wonder what in the world I'm going to do without him. We have God in our marriage and that had been the key to our success.

[@aujkalenic4203]

I've been married for 47 yrs, we haven't been romantic for about 5 yrs or so. He has a Mistress, her name is alcohol, she won his heart and it hurts at times but I choose to love my family and others. I treat him respectfully overall. This all will end someday,until then it's his problem 🙏

[@lifewithsandrahart]

So sorry.

[@lenoremohammed7829]

I am so sorry you have to go through this. I went through the same thing and it wasn't easy. So many times I wanted to leave but couldnt. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2022 and had to stop drinking and smoking to do surgery and then chemo. He passed in February 2023 and I miss him a lot. The last three years were alcohol free and they were my best years with him. I took care of him and we grew very close.

[@joettekanter7699]

Ms. Sandra, You’re such a wonderful person and a true inspiration. God Bless you, sweet lady! 😊❤️🙏🏻✝️

[@bobbiefarrar3036]

My husband and I celebrated our 49th anniversary in January. We have a third person in our marriage - Jesus! I love these two quotes and I don't know who said either one: NO MATTER HOW OLD YOU BOTH GET NEVER STOP HOLDING HANDS; NEVER STOP DANCING AND NEVER STOP SAYING ‘I LOVE YOU’!! as well as this one: DEFINITION OF A PERFECT MARRIAGE: A PERFECT MARRIAGE IS TWO IMPERFECT PEOPLE WHO NEVER EVER GIVE UP ON ONE ANOTHER. So enjoy my time with you, Sandra. Thanks for sharing your experiences and wisdom! God bless you and yours.

[@gsand07]

You and Arthur must have had something very special. I was married for sixteen years and we have 3 children together, but we couldn't sustain the marriage. I was very depressed for the children (all boys) but, if I am being honest, I was "relieved" for myself to be out of the marriage. I don't know what is wrong with me but I have no desire to be in a relationship at all. I have been divorced for over 20yrs and have only dated 1 man since--a Canadian. He was only here in the US November-April each year. After the 3rd year I did not invite him back again. We still communicate but I have not seen him since 2010. I think that I just don't trust my own judgement anymore when it comes to men. So, I prefer to be alone and devote my time to family, friends, and my pets! I am 62 now, so I doubt I will ever have a romantic relationship again.

[@deborahpellerito6117]

Never say never

[@Kiki-wi7px]

Nothing Wrong With That. DO YOU.

[@dozydoe]

I am exactly the same. Terrible marriage, split after 23 yrs and not seen him for 14 years. Had bf's but all been players. I don't trust picking a man for myself. I'm useless.

[@lolaloren1773]

@@dozydoe ... Don’t say you’re useless, you just haven’t met the right person for you!!!!

[@lifewithsandrahart]

I think if the right man came into your life, you might feel differently. In the meantime, you build a life for yourself and who knows what your future will bring. Never say never.😍

[@robertm.-certifieddaytrade4939]

I know several people who have found it difficult to reach that 5th stage in a marriage! Sadly and also ironically, some have reached it simply because their spouse got ill and couldn’t BAIL OUT of the marriage! Under these circumstances the commitment is NO LONGER genuine,but at least, the Stay together to the finish line! Sandra, you look DIVINE! Stay blessed my dear... Robert from daytradingwiththelight

[@lillianmayes6949]

Thank you so much for sharing …..that is EXACTLY what happened in my 46 years of marriage to my husband wh passed 1-1/2 years ago. We were the closest in our last year together and that is what I cherish and reflect on. He loved me so deeply before he passed and I’m so grateful that we hung in there.

[@ritastutler1470]

My husband I are going on forty four years. He recently had high risk knee replacement. We have always been extremely close, but taking care of him and him appreciating me has made us closer. Much love to u beautiful lady.inside and out. ❤❤❤❤ This was a very beautiful video.

[@anncott]

This is my favourite of your videos, although I enjoy them all. Thank-you!. My husband of 53 years passed away in September 2022. We were definitely in the compassion/acceptance phase. As he was quite ill for the last year and a half, I had the great privilege to care for him. As you described so well, our love for one another grew with each precious day. What is difficult is to accept the end of this phase; I miss him dearly.

[@annanorth7997]

My husband and I are opposites. I believe that is what attracted us to each other. Because of this, our power struggle phase lasted way too long. We will be married 40 years this winter. We are now in the sweet, comfortable stage of acceptance where we enjoy our children, grandchildren, and travels. There's still attraction and physical love, which is an added bonus. Thank you for your transparency and wisdom.

[@theophaniaikonomou8962]

You are so wright

[@debrarusso330]

When I first married I was only 21 and it did not last long. The second time around I was 35. We’ve been married now for more than 31 years and still going strong. You spoke so well to the stages of marriage with all its accoutrements…to add a little humor when it isn’t always a joking matter! I hesitated to marry a second time. Though I was madly in love with him, I was concerned about “giving up” my independence. In reality I did not “give up” anything. I actually committed to the give and take of relationship, and it was totally worth it! Every day with him has only helped me find the deepest parts of my own self. Sandra, you are the real deal! ❤

[@YardleySlicker]

Hi Sandra A Master Class in Marriage to be sure. My mother often expressed these stages to me- but her love for my dad always prevailed - even at the times she told me she wanted to leave my dad - who was exciting and charismatic - and he loved us -a good provider for the family - but she ( and me) had to live with his alcoholism and moodiness. “People always tell me it must be so much fun to be his wife,”she said, “but they don’t ever see the dark side.” She passed first, after 53 years of marriage and I watched my dad crumble from the grief of losing her. “Marriage is an uphill battle” she told me many times. I wonder how she would have felt if my dad had passed first- I think she would have been ok. Now I have been married 53 years. Happy to say we have made it through those stages and enjoy our time together very much. Medication require for high blood pressure has affected my husband ability for “ marital relations” to put it delicately. After we had achieved a degree of trust and comfort to enjoy being together physically, this has been a loss we did our best to adapt to- using various medications and other interventions- that just didn’t work for him. But like my mother- my love for my husband allows me to focus on and appreciate all that is good and most of all- I know he truly loves me by his actions.❤

[@debrarusso330]

Thank you for your sensitivity and authenticity.

[@naomiferreira8255]

Sandra you are a gem. Love your necklace. Marriage is hard work. A lot of compromise to make it work. We experience each of those vows … to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do us part ❤️💍

[@lifewithsandrahart]

So true

[@aidaparisio689]

I've thought many times why they don't have talks and lessons to young people in high school and colleges about fundamental growth. I enjoy your wisdom and talks about life, women, relationships and men, they are so true and inspiring. So much pain and grief would be avoided if we have someone taught these things, much younger.

[@TwinkieReid]

Yes I agree with you so much Aida… I’m in college right now but it would have helped immensely if people like Sandra came in to talk to us. I would be doing so much better. I know it.

[@joanneblair2087]

I have been married twice. My first marriage was short lived. It lasted about 6 years, but was really over by the 3rd or 4th year and I kept trying to make it work. I was single for about 8 years and then met the wonderful man I have been married to for 34 years. I don’t really remember the power struggle stage but have often told people I would never marry again as I couldn’t possibly get the devotion and love I experience with him. I so enjoyed your talk today. Thank you.

[@patsy6589]

Sandra you are so smart. This video really hit home for me. Your explanation of the marriage phases described perfectly. We've gone through them all. In my early years of marriage someone with a lot more confidence would probably have divorced. My husband was a drinker and he always commented "Thank God Lawyers aren't open on the Weekends". Because once Monday came, I had forgiven him. We are both so blessed that we stuck through the rough times. When my husband finally matured we started to make a wonderful life together. And here we are 61 years married, with wonderful grown children and grandchildren; living a happy life together. Blessed that my husband and I got to the commitment stage and going strong due to respect and compassion. Sandra, you are the perfect wife and I hope that I can be just like you and each of us will not abandon one another in our final years.

[@vedawattieram1974]

Thanks for sharing, dear friend.😊

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Thank you, Patsy

[@jamestalkington7434]

Such a peaceful loving soul and just as beautiful as ever, GOD BLESS your loving heart 😇☕🇺🇸

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Thank you again. I always enjoy hear from you James .

[@marciagee9716]

Bless you Sandra ❤I also shared all those stages after 62yrs of a happy marriage the last four being a caregiver and feel blessed to have also through Covid to have those memories of our love he passed in my arms with me thanking him and knowing it was his time😢

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts

[@debrarusso330]

Beautiful!

[@sharonfowler9971]

Never heard about the 5 phrases of married before! Thank you ! I'm on the Commitment end now with mine ( husband) . Have a blessed day and super weekend!

[@melindasnyder5974]

I’m 37 and my husband and I have been married for 9 years this September, together for 15. I am trying to decide if we have already been through the power struggle phase or if that’s yet to come, lol! Maybe we will be lucky and won’t have much trouble with that because we both consider each other to be equals (and in fact he sometimes says I’m the smarter one 😂). I feel very fortunate to have a partner in life that I also consider to be my best friend. We are going through some difficulties right now as he has been unemployed for a few months and has done some maturing and growing over the past year and facing some issues with depression. We have weathered other storms and I feel confident that we will weather this one too and come out together on the other side. Thank you for sharing your wisdom ❤

[@jameshopkins7507]

Perfect description of marriage! My wife and I have been married 48 years and it is just as you say - such a joy to have reached the "acceptance" stage of deep love and understanding.

[@beulahbenade4098]

Sadly my marriage broke down very early on... Maybe in the disillusionment stage. This video was precious, thank you for describing it so well.

[@jeremy1350]

Hi Sandra. I've been married to my husband for 19 years now. I was 35, he was 30, when we met, here in Montreal in 2002. ( I will be 55 in a few weeks time) We hit stage #1 right off, and it lasted a few months. My then boyfriend got very sick, and was diagnosed with severe mental illness. It was a shock to the system for sure. I had to make a choice on whether I was going to stay or leave. I chose to stay and take care of him. We flew past stages #2 and #3, in a blink of an eye. While my husband was comatose on the sofa for 13 months, He did not move, other than when I got him out of bed, fed him, bathed him, and put him on the sofa while I attended university full time, (And) I was getting sober at the same time. I was "Chief Cook and Bottle Washer" (Chita Rivera - The Rink !!) Everybody told me to leave him, that he wasn't my problem. I begged to differ. Finally the doctors found some medication that raised him from the dead. That was in the summer of 2004. I decided to ask him to marry me in September that year, and we were married in November of 2004, as a celebration of his rising from the dead. He had to relearn how to take care of himself, how to cook, bathe, and I gave him occupational therapy for months, until he could take care of himself fully again. We struggled financially, but there really wasn't a power struggle, we were trying to figure out how to put food on the table and pay bills for years. He has been gainfully employed for a number of years now, he is an Independent Contractor - Writer, and works from home. And I am the "dutiful housewife" so to speak. I care for the home and take care of him. We share cooking nights, we laugh together. But let me tell you, when Covid hit Montreal, all hell broke loose. We were forced into provincial government enforced lock downs for months and months, Here ALONE together. We could not go outside but to shop, and we could walk around the block after lock down periods. Meetings were closed, save for Zoom, which did not last long for me. Gyms were closed, so hubby's only outing during each day ended, and we had to find ways for him to work out here at home, and we had to build a "Living schedule" to cope with what we both needed in a 1 bedroom apartment. That is not a lot of space to cohabitate 24/7 without outside stimuli, or human contact with others. We made it, finally, when the government here, loosened our restrictions. That was literal HELL !! We don't have a social life, as he has few friends outside of work, and I've since left the fellowship after 20 years, (a couple of years ago now). Throughout the entire Pandemic my phone did not ring once, still to this day, now that I've become persona non-grata. No bother. At least we are happily married and grateful that we stuck it out and survived the worst nightmare of our lives together. Older people in Montreal are out of sight and out of mind I find. Nobody really gives a shit about us. Thank you for the video.

[@cookiepirolli304]

Sandra, this is one of the best talks ever. My husband is 12 years older, now he’s 90 in august, starting dementia We had our rough times both divorced etc, little money, but we were and still are so much In love.married 37 years and I’m not handling this part of our lives well at all. I’ve become his 24 hour caregiver, when he forgets who I am, I cry. What will I do with my life here on earth if he passes before me!!!!

[@Rachaelc1776]

Praying for you and your husband🙏🙏❤️

[@texasgoddess323]

Dearest Sandra, actually you are still in film! You make beautiful videos that not only entertain but also help thousands of people. Your films are autobiographical. Beautiful work, Dear!❤❤❤

[@godschild917]

One of the reasons I follow you is do to your honesty. The ability to be truthful to yourself and others is such a gift. I feel so blessed that you have the courage to share information that helps people with their past or present situation. If you don't have information then you don't know how to make meaningful decisions or to be able to accept the decisions you may have already made and can't change them. This video showed me that the beautiful thing about love is when both parties are in love at the same time you get to experience the ultimate love, a soul connection. Have an awesome day!❤💐

[@geedee38]

Wisely stated Sandra. The power struggle got the best of mines. The unwillingness of one ripped it apart. No one person can make it work. Both must be invested. ❤

[@kimberleyjane2338]

Facts. I was older for my first marriage, was wise and discussed all the necessary things to make sure that we were on the same page. From house to wills. My husband is a very handsome con artist, sly and devious to the core. Our basic foundation was a lie. I'm getting divorced because so much drama is created with bad karma consequences that I have no air. I never argue but I'm just done. I feel happy that this will allow me my life journey created by me❤❤

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Well said!

[@MommaNanaKay]

My husband and I married young. I was 18 and he was 20 when we wedded. We had dated for 3 years and it was an up and down relationship. I was a wounded soul and wanted to be controlling. He balked often but when I became pregnant, he committed to stay by my side. This year we will be married 40 years. It’s been a long road but we’ve gone through a lot of growth together. We have 10 children and 27 grandchildren. Our marriage is struggling more than ever, since our children are grown and we no longer have so many distractions. I was a stay at home mom and now struggle to find my purpose in this new phase of my life of being alone most days. I’ve retaught myself how to play keyboard, began doing painting and drawing again, and am teaching myself carpentry skills by fixing up kitchens (ours and another family member’s). I still feel lost but try to fill my days with things so it’s not so lonely. I am a little afraid of this because I don’t know what to do with myself. My husband does not understand as he is still working and we get frustrated with each other more easily. My parents are deceased, my siblings are in different phases of their lives, and my children are busy with their families. My friends are busy with their children and lives so we actually talk less than we ever did. Learning this new way is not comfortable but I will find a way to persevere, as I always have. Thank you for sharing these wonderful videos. They have been so helpful and give me things to contemplate and new ways of looking at things. My condolences on the loss of your dear husband. You are a blessing ❤

[@lifewithsandrahart]

You are so self aware that I know you will find your way. It is wonderful that you are expressing yourself with your skills and making your days busy and not just sitting and feeling hopeless. It will work out to you because you have a wonderful attitude and an understanding of what your needs are. I’ll be thinking of you and thanks for sharing.

[@Fabby47]

Oh, no one’s marriage is a piece of cake, but it’s mostly wonderful… 48 years and I love my wonderful husband. ❤❤

[@neanea1173]

My husband and I had the mad passion in the beginning but the power struggles came very quickly. We went to counseling early on and it saved us...we had a wonderful many year life happy with our children and then a long mostly not good phase...during Covid we were forced to spend time together also...we are now stronger than ever. It could have went either way but we realized our love and commitment and I am so thankful to God. I do believe the stages can flip flop or you can have them more than once during the journey...

[@louiseduke3980]

I always enjoy your videos as I am 85 and have had many life experiences that cause me to identify with you. Today when I watched the video on the 5 stages of marriage, I most identified with the fifth one. It brought me to tears as you described the relationship with your husband as you were with him constantly as his caregiver and how your love for each other grew stronger. I had a similar experience and also realized the last year of his life how much my husband loved me and how my love for him became so meaningful. Thank you for sharing.

[@baeklineredits]

Dear Sandra, I don't know why or how but I got your video recommended to me today and you've managed to captivate me with your wisdom and grace. I feel like I'm on the young side of this community being in my early twenties but I am so grateful to be able to hear all of these experiences from people who have walked on this earth a bit longer than I have. I am currently in a relationship and I imagine we're still in a version of the romantic phase, but I am quite convinced I have found someone with whom I want to experience these stages of marriage and life in general with. Someone who I will wake up to and choose each and every day to commit to and cherish for the small moment in time that we are here on this earth. I pray we get the chance to do so. Thank you for sharing your story and love for Arthur.

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Welcome! I am so happy you found me. I hope your relationship is the one for you. Finding your soulmate is such a blessing in life. I hope you will subscribe and come back often.

[@vickylee5579]

We’ve been married for 42 years.❤ He has cancer for the 4th time. Different areas. Down they are checking me for lymph nodes cancer. I’ll have my biopsy 25th. We have been though so much medically over the years but this is the worst. I know you miss Arthur every day ♥️

[@truthbetold6942]

Sending good thoughts your way.

[@maryl8539]

Love to you and your husband! ❤

[@heidibee501]

My husband and l were both 21 when we met. When he asked me to marry him l said, "We need to talk." We agreed we would not start our family for five years. I had our first child a week before my 5th Anniversary. Our 2nd 4 years later. We agreed he would be the provider and l would be the main parent. We had our ego struggles the first year and decided on individual autonomy. He died of a stroke almost 20 years ago and l still miss him.

[@suesilva5252]

Good morning, Sandra. I hope you’re enjoying your freedom. You’ve certainly earned it ❤

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Good morning! Thanks so much Sue!

[@claudette1490]

U, r loved by sooooo many people. Someone said: I'd rather b single . I'd rather b stung by red ants over & over than married😂😂 you are inspirational to all women .❤🎉sandra.❤

[@marysmyth8288]

Thank you Sandra for sharing your inner most memories I was married for 51 yrs, sometimes life was a struggle However we made it through . i am now a widow age 80 yrs Like yourself, my final years taught me about Endurance. ❤ I do miss my husband , he passed 2016, today the time seems To speed by so fast and I treasure my memories ✍ Mary Canada 🇨🇦

[@maryl8753]

I am so pleased that you ended in a place of peace. I started with such idealistic ideas of my husband. Unfortunately my husband does not understand the concept of marriage. He has continued as a bachelir- he has done everything he wants and I was just a person with him, not someone for him to negotiate my needs/ dreams with. I wanted children " no" I wanted a dog " no". Just that- no discussion. So unfortunately to keep the peace and the marriage I caved on everything except my need for love and acceptance I went out and got my beautiful dog who gave me such love for 16 years. . Any conflict was my " fault" as he is incapable of doing any wrong. Yes I've stayed. Am I sorry yes and no. I am financially stable but I don't have that deep peace, acceptance and history of shared compromise for the good of the marriage and each other. Am I angry- you bet. Am I sad- you bet. Now I'm his carer and it's really hard to be a fulltime carer for someone who you feel has wronged and let you down. The anger and pain seeps out all the time. I don't know how to stop the bitterness.

[@lifewithsandrahart]

So sorry Maryl, but I get it!!

[@LadyF71]

I totally get how you feel. Life is so hard but your deeds in the end will show who you are. Wanting to be a wife is not easy and many people just don't get it and refuse their lot. But with the work you've done you will be better off for it. I believe that grately

[@deeannaadams1379]

Sandra, You look fabulous! Your video is spot on. I began reading the comments and started to tear up. My husband and I were married 43 years and he died suddenly Feb. 2020. I am trying to revive myself. Your followers are so insightful. It's wonderful to hear that some couples make it over 60 years. It can be hard trying to move on in life. Take care of your beautiful self.

[@idalmycastro5323]

A wonderful moment with you. Me and my husband we married for 42 years and I believe that we are in the commitment stage. I and my husband don't have anything in common but magical love. Thanks for sharing your experience. ❤

[@edithjohnson6835]

My husband and I have been married 57 years. He too is my best friend, the one I trust more than anyone else in the world.

[@lorenheard2561]

Dear Sandra,I am so very sorry to learn of Arthurs' passing. I had been horribly busy and things were happening etc.. I always loved you two sitting together for your interviews!!❤❤ May all the good memories outweigh all the hard times. 🐦💕💕🕊️🏞️All my love and thought are with you.💯☘️🕊️🐿️🐿️💖

[@Tonya0220]

Love this video, Sandra! ❤ My husband and I made it through all of those stages. We are in our 60s and 70s now. We’ve been married 42 years. This is the best stage of marriage! I tell younger married couples often that they need to stick it out; that it truly is worth fighting for. Thanks for sharing!

[@mariaaquije8169]

Good morning Sandra🌹you were blessed in your marriage with Arthur. Nowadays, it is hard for couples to stay together for many reasons. I also feel blessed in my 33 years of marriage too. I think marriage is a big partnership commitment which involves much love and respect for one another. Thank you for your lovely thoughts and have a wonderful day🙏🌈

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Thank you so much

[@mariannebhatia7245]

Ok Sandra, that was the best of all you vlogs. Thank you. Greetings from Germany 🇩🇪

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Thank you! 😃

[@danusiatkomamy]

Dear Sandra, you are pure wisdom and love - not only for your husband, but for all people! Thank you ❤ !!!

[@susanchaplik3577]

Thank you for your wisdom, support and encouragement....You are a light>>>Married for 35 years. still going strong but we have endured these stages and its so worth it

[@Marthacraftsandmore]

Oh Sandra what a great video! So much truth about relationships, we all have our ups and downs, our periods of more joy and struggle. Marriage is a constant give and take 2 completely different characters learning to accommodate and spend life together. You and Arthur were lucky to have each other thank you for sharing this with us. This July will be 46 years of marriage for my husband George and I, we’ve been together since I was 18 and he was 24. ❤

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Absolutely!!

[@Drycreek995]

Such a wise ,loving and truthful video. Both my husband and I were married before. We both had grown children when we met. We are now in our 70’s and have been married 31 years. We have a wonderful caring loving relationship. And yes we went through all those stages But here we are blessed Beyond measure. Hugs and God bless Caroline.

[@helenross7751]

Thank you Sandra for sharing your marriage with us . My first marriage lasted for 11 years and we had two children when I divorced. My daughter was 6 and my son 3 1/2 and I was on my own and scared but soon became strong and confident. I eventually met my current husband and we have been married for 32 years . We had a daughter together and now we are on our own with all children grown up of course. The yearly years of my second marriage were a challenge with 2 children to start with and my husband never previously married . With love and determination we came through it and now our love is strong and he is my best friend 😊❤️

[@caroldmaner1316]

What a beautiful story, thank you. My husband is 7 years older than me, and we've been married 38 years. We are embracing our last stage of our marriage ❤

[@ilovegoodsax]

Good lord....I'm reading some of the comments and all I can say is -- Life's way too short to waste time trying to make a miserable marriage work. 🥴💯

[@christined2495]

This was such a beautiful video…. The stages they sure do exist… You summed them up so perfectly….❤

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Thank you

[@juliefizpatrick513]

Hi Sandra:). I really learned a lot from this chat today. I never gave any thought to the stages as you explained them but I have such respect for you and how you and Arthur were able to compromise and make it all the way through. I love that he was able to tell you how. much he appreciated and loved you b4 he passed. I was married at 17-relationship 2 years with him b4 our 24 year marriage. We had a wonderful life but with lots of control problems. We parted -went on with our separate lives-our children were our bond-and now after all these years-we are still friends but I know we could never live together. .It must sound crazy as you read this (it does for me) but we are happy and he’s very kind to me now-knows he is not in control of my life-and I was able to find myself. I had a 13 year relationship with someone who loved to do all the things I had missed. It was wonderful but it didn’t last. I have no regrets. I have a strong bond with my youngest son as you know. You have made it through and I thank God that our paths crossed. I’m still learning 😊🩵💗💛🤗🌸

[@angelapriddy6308]

Oh Sandra. Wow you are looking so good Your hair is gorgeous. And you are looking so fresh. Love your topic today as well.

[@lifewithsandrahart]

Thank you so much!

[@mirandasita]

I got married in 2019. We are definitely in the power struggle phase of life right now. I look forward to the commitment and acceptance stages down the road. Wish us luck! 😅❤

[@debbiewalker273]

Thank you Sandra, for explaining these different stages I never knew about. Like you, I married a bachelor with no children. I’m slightly older than him, but he has an older soul. I can say, we’re in the last stage of our marriage, almost 16 years. After all this time he still has kept some of his bachelor mannerisms, and I have to say, we are Yin & Yang also, but I tell him we’re like the odd couple. He’s Oscar & I’m Felix. 😂 Not sure what the future holds for us. We don’t fight much, but our life together has become so routine and uneventful. It’s like we’re just room mates. Maybe that’s not so bad, could be much worse actually, so just trying to accept the way things are, and even though we’re very different, I’m trying to hold onto the love we share. There are so many different variations of love, and I bet you’ve even made a video talking about just that. Take care. Interesting conversation. You and Arthur had a wonderful marriage together. 💞💞

[@chickwithaguitar6876]

Thank youSandra. I devoured all you have said in this segment. I will say to the man who doesn’t realize my love for him...” You will appreciate my love for you when you are elderly and alone..”

[@Self-helper415]

Thank you for sharing. I have been divorced for 7 years and we have a son. I’ve healed from that relationship and we can be cordial towards one another now. Dating as a single mother has its challenges, but ultimately any decision I make I have to keep my child in mine, and I’m more than okay with that.

[@selestineshiro3918]

Am 32 but learning a lot from you dear. I admire your grateful spirit and calmness. May God bless you

[@designhug.]

I married in 2020. I met my husband when my daughter was 1.5 years old. Now we have 6 months old baby boy together. Only real struggles were on our first year of relationship. After that it has been very good and loving relationship and marriage. It has grown better and better. Key is that we both have same goals for relationship and family life. Though we are opposites in many ways, we are in harmony. He is good in the areas that I am not that good or that I dislike. And he's weaknesses lie where I am strong and what I like to do. It goes in everything. I like to shop, he likes to carry all that stuff and pay😄. I like to do details, decorate and dislike simple boring home tasks like taking care of dishes. He has no desire for details and decorating. He loves to do simple tasks like doing dishes. So we go berfect together. And we have really deep love to each other. I prefer to stay home and raise our children so he could make money and have a great career. He likes to achieve in his career and provide for the family.

[@GailFeltman]

I understand as my husband and I made it through all stages … getting to that last stage is priceless! We both had been married twice before and he had one daughter … that I tell her I hit the Jackpot getting her! Lol She was graduating from High School and my oldest was too . We had 40 wonderful years until in July 2021 he died suddenly from a massive heart attack … in front of me! I was in shock at least a full year. It’s been three years … but still moments I hurt so deeply still! I miss him … I miss our life together and I miss being his wife … his love! I have come to realize that even though he died … feelings of love don’t die! I am still in love with him …❤️

[@dale9724]

Gee Sandra, you are filling cracks in our senior adulting! What a beautiful narrative of your marriage to Arthur. So much common sense, courage, goodness. Thank you.

[@kimfromarkansas2084]

I loved this message, Sandra. I’ve been married 37 years and I’m in the “irritated stage.”😋 I’m 58 and I want a new career, my husband is 66 and wants to retire in the next few years. Overall, it’s been good, but some days it feels like we want different things. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us. Much love💕🙏

[@theophaniaikonomou8962]

My mother use to say ,it is not the. Place that makes people, people make the place

[@janew4690]

Very nice. I found the same thing to be true. I was married for 54 years before my husband passed. I also took care of him. It was wonderful to be with him until the end. "to death do us part".

[@justmaria5806]

Myself; married twice and never making it to stage 5. Alone more years than sharing my life with someone. Divorced and raising two sons to the best of my ability. Always observing and listening to the language of friends living in long term relationships or marriage. Your discussion today has really gotten me to start thinking about the roles I played in my previous relationships.I have always told friends and family that I wanted to live long enough to get a relationship right. Think is possible to have another go at it, when 70 is just months away?

[@debbiewalker273]

My Great Aunt remarried around age 70, years after my Uncle passed away. She married a wonderful man, and sadly, she also lost him. She’s now 91, and still works part time at the hospital in town. She is still living in the same house from her first marriage. She’s so strong and independent. A true role model in my eyes.

[@justmaria5806]

Sounds like you come from good hearty stock with a strong healthy attitude thrown in for good measure. Can't beat that!